The Comedy of Darth Reygueis: The Rise (Part 1)

[@MandaloreTheReclaimer]

Every Skywalker is dead, every solo is dead and a palpatine won, well done Disney.

[@mistahsusan2650]

you mean the guy who fell down a huge pit/shaft then was blown up and vaporized at the end of the OT, won?

[@MandaloreTheReclaimer]

@@mistahsusan2650 rey is a palpatine.

[@hartianx1698]

@@MandaloreTheReclaimer And is now probably possessed by the Palpatine as well.

[@WirxawTanev]

@@hartianx1698 Gotta have a big reveal in the next 3 movies, no?

[@ForsakenDreamer7]

@@targitausrithux2320 Rather small ones unfortunately.

[@TheRealCarlBrutananadilewski]

My favorite part is when Rey picks up the dagger and says "this has done horrible things" while her weapon of choice is a lightsaber that literally massacred a room full of children.

[@georgebaggy]

Lmao

[@yesman9792]

And who knows how many other jedi in the temple.

[@crossbones116]

Nah see it's her lightsaber now according to all the shitty merchandise. Anakin? Never heard of him!

[@setoste]

This movie reads out like a parody tbh

[@paradigm-xw2ki]

Children? I think you mean younglings

[@odinsplaygrounds]

The fact that a billion dollar franchise couldn’t even take the time to write an overarching story (at least the core elements) for a trilogy is simply mind numbing stupidity.

[@LilNewo]

Feminism doesn't comprehend anything more than simple impulse. "What do you mean, cause and effect?" Should be their motto.

[@Warrior4Bsoft]

"Ey boss. We still need to find a guy to write us the story. We can either give it to this guy who sacrificed the possibility of having a sex live on this star shit, or we can give it to your cousin; Moishe."

[@whitiewhitie4631]

Odin's Playground just shows how little Disney care anymore

[@kaishadows919]

It's saddening how stupid it is. You'd think they would consider the fact that they could make much more money if people were more invested.

[@scockery]

Anyone who tried to speak up about it was called a stunted sack of slime and fired.

[@Zapinc9]

Kylo refuses to kill Rey and drops his lightsabre. He's defenceless and giving her mercy. Rey straight-up fucking murders him with zero remorse. What makes it even more unhinged is that Kylo doesn't emote when fighting, like a Jedi, while Rey screams and curses allowing her emotions to take the wheel.. like a Sith.

[@giggleschad1484]

They saw Anakin yell like 1 time when jumping to obi. And they thought, let's make rey always yell so she can one up anakin in everything, even yelling.

[@willlauzon3744]

Saying that for years. She is channeling her anger and rage while a Jedi emotes calm and is at peace.

[@Absolute_Goblin]

A lot of them do the "bad guy is the real good guy" thing. They do it intentionally I believe. They want the jedi dead and the bad guys to win. They want the men weak and the women to take their role. They want evil to be good and up to be down and male to be female. In a world where everything is upside down and you have no objective reference point, you are drifting in a sea of relativity. This makes you vulnerable to those who seek to prey on you. It's about power and control, and that begins with the war for the mind.

[@nicolashrv]

"Let's erase C3PO's memory, so he translate the dagger" "Let's do that" ----they erase his memory----- "Ok C3PO, what does the dagger say?" "Which dagger?"

[@TOUGHEYES]

"Sith is Hate Speech" is probably the most underrated line in all of this.

[@RorytheRomulan]

"It says 'you're gay', master!"

[@michaelwadsworth5117]

To translate the encryption would cause the memory to wipe. His memory being erased was an effect of them accessing the translation. They were not deleting his memory so he would translate it, they were just saying that translating it would cause it to erase the memory.

[@nicolashrv]

@@michaelwadsworth5117seems they erased your memory also.

[@bobmar1y]

Translation of Sith Dagger "What comprises 12% of the galaxy but makes up 50% of the homicides?"

[@GNackers53]

When are they going to learn that Rey isn't a Mary Sue. She's not even a character. She's just a sentient plot device used to progress this dead horse of a movie trilogy.

[@vintheguy]

I'm not one too get into arguments about this series, but I'm sorry that is just wrong

[@tardigrade8019]

@Bodybag Dotzip Shes not sentient, shes just a plot device

[@hinamiravenroot7162]

The movie could have done without her.

[@xtensioncordtv1969]

@@vintheguy Okay I'm optimistic can you give me some of Rey's character traits?

[@Slazors]

@@vintheguy Dude she doesn't even feel like a real person, she's as bland and uninteresting as it gets. Didn't think the star wars defense force would be in full swing already

[@Antillles]

The sith dagger just kills me. It's like finding a 2000 year old Mayan sacrificial dagger that matches an US carrier and gives you the location of the nuclear launch codes or something.

[@lukeulibarri3924]

Stop thinking and start blindly consuming corporate media like you're supposed to!

[@carl3191]

UH...I’m CONSOOMINGUHHH

[@Trompicavalas]

Yes and it also looks like a low cost unlicensed imitation toy from a middle age franchise … Moreover i would swear that i have seen the pyramid to find Palpatine in some craft market

[@NexusKin]

Well, to be fair, that actually sounds kinda promising if they were tied to the 2012 Mayan Doomsday Prophecy in some way. Obviously it's not true in real life, but it could make a nice hypothetical conspiracy theory story!

[@lilelo208]

Gooney AF.

[@itsbeebaby]

Harrison Ford responding “I don’t care” when asked whether or not his character was a force ghost is peak comedy.

[@nobstompah4850]

Christ, this whole thing reads like bad fan fiction.

[@kumonmisdrunkest]

That's an insult to fan-fiction. At least fan-fiction is creative

[@CodeineCoffee]

"reads like"

[@aaronlandry3934]

Give the fan fictions this, they’re entertaining at least. I was so bored throughout this movie that I was only interested at the beginning crawl, which I erupted in laughter at when it said Palpatine came back, the end when Palpatine gave off that ridiculous column of lightning, and when the droid said his name was Dio (Kono Dio da!).

[@GodOfOrphans]

Keep in mind that fan fiction is done predominantly by amateurs, in their spare time, with no budget. This "film" has no such excuses!

[@NickyPoundhers]

@@kumonmisdrunkest yeah! People work hard on fan-fiction. They're also passionate about their writing.

[@nautdead3197]

She attempted to murder chewie because they are currently engaged in a lengthy court battle over ownership of the falcon.

[@D0NU75]

and she also owns Jake's X-Wing.

[@Fablins-kt9ti]

If any writer with balls, like Flaubert, Turgenev or other classics wrote this, this is exactly what would have happened.

[@D0NU75]

She is also squatting in Skywalker's house now

[@thebosssasquatch5094]

Someone tell Rey it’s chewies f***ing ship, oy Rey, sush.

[@lad5912]

Thats why she killed Leia and stabbed her son as well.

[@UltimateWeaponNo.7]

When the world needed E;R the most, He returned.

[@serenawilliamslovesbigwhit5029]

He always does

[@ArnoModelstate]

With a multi parter

[@vintheguy]

He's back now? He's back now

[@AstroNominonX37]

Somehow E;R returned

[@tyraywilkerson3180]

Yessss

[@jack.h99]

If the Holdo's maneuver really was 1 in a million, then she straight up was trying to bail on the resistance and ended up dying in the process

[@TheGosslings]

That’s genius. And hilariously awesome.

[@astrosloth6342]

If the new movies didnt take themselves so seriously I would have taken that over the "heroic sacrifice" any day.

[@hawttub_2265]

@@TheGosslings It gets better. Remember when she reprimanded Poe for “betting our lives on bad odds” or whatever? I don’t see how odds could get much worse than 1 in a million. Fucking Holdo.

[@ouchiegiverjr]

@@hawttub_2265says a lot when no one ever even TRIES to do the move, it’s either that stupid of a choice or everyone else in the galaxy has better sense of self preservation, Rian let her do that much dmg for the plot, in reality she’d just turn herself into paste.

[@KetsubanSolo]

​@@ouchiegiverjrI mentioned this in another comment thread, but according to The High Republic books (which ARE canon, according to Disney), doing it wrong can basically start a mini apocalypse. Which makes Holdo's decision even dumber.

[@GamingDanishPastry]

In my theater when lando showed up someone yelled "run lando they are gonna kill you"

[@NA-vz9ko]

He was traumatized from watching all his heroes die.

[@alucard002x]

You aight whiteboi

[@subjectnivleis7572]

@@NA-vz9ko it the reason why I refused to watch

[@justsomewitcherwithalongsw4233]

In the words of the Critical Drinker, “Nah, it’ll be fine.”.

[@chancelewis6674]

@@alucard002x English! Bitch Speak I Can Only Speak It.

[@slumbertrap6506]

"Your light-sabers will make a fine addition to my collection" - Ray

[@emblemblade9245]

SlumberTrap oh my god XD

[@xVallan]

@Grannvale Flame Emperor well if you mean a serial killer OF jedai then yes.

[@SaiKisaragi]

And now Ray grows two extra arms.

[@oaxis8198]

*agressively cough*

[@slumbertrap6506]

Grannvale Flame Emperor *Its time for the jedi to end* -A sith

[@lonestar6709]

_"Somehow Palpatine returned."_ _"How?"_ _"A good question. For another time."_ Put that on your tombstone, JJ.

[@roberthardesty4133]

Sick bastard...

[@zenosol234]

"what do you want put on your tombstone mr jj?" "a good question, for another time."

[@xshullaw]

🤣

[@JL-zs6hj]

*JJ dies* Some random funeral-attendee: "How?" The tombstone: "A good question, for another time."

[@A_ghost_leviathan]

“Good question” -shrek

[@crayonyum]

"Your Last Name would be a fine addition to my collection" - Rey Palpatine

[@olotocolo]

Rey Solo-Nobody-Palpatine-Skywalker*

[@ouchiegiverjr]

Rey who?

[@Eva01-jy2qu7pu9r]

This movie was so bad that it brought back E;R from the dead.

[@butthz8850]

Back from the ether!

[@MediaGhost_]

"No one's every really gone."

[@Cloud_Seeker]

HOLY HELL!! The horse came back to life?

[@Beeg_Boy]

The dead speak!

[@Muserschmitt]

Somehow... E;R has returned...

[@splatgege298]

when I watched the scene of Rey and Kylo kissing in the cinema a random kid asked "why are they kissing?" which I honestly shared that sentiment

[@mysteriousyogurt9871]

Rey is such a good person that she will kiss a man she barely knows, who has committed war crimes on a galactic scale, because he is hot

[@miracles4219]

@@mysteriousyogurt9871 "am I a good person?" -Blows up multiple planets Rey: "oh yeah..."

[@TheMisterman15]

Someone in my cinema just said fuck loudly enough for everyone to hear.

[@goblin8557]

they kissed...?

[@TheMisterman15]

@@goblin8557 oh yeah, Rey brought kylo back to life, they smooched and Kylo died

[@shrimpybebo2736]

“Somehow Palpatine returned” started out sad for me but then slowly transformed into the funniest shit I’ve ever heard with each repeat.

[@SideshowBob44]

Yeh, its hilarious how someone actually wrote that. “How do we explain how he’s alive?” Errr just have Po say somehow he’s back, that’ll do.

[@Dragonage2ftw]

Why?

[@DonVigaDeFierro]

And then he turned himself into a pickle.

[@Crism-y1m]

they should have used that Glados line "I've been really busy being dead" in that voice too

[@isplat927]

@@Crism-y1m That actually was done, in the Rise of the Walk back I think it's called where he switches from Glados to Whitley.

[@thiagosalgoa7206]

"I'm not casting any asians." - J. J. Abrams

[@beeRADify]

Redeem Thyself: Give us Admiral Thrawn

[@_Cato_]

B-based??

[@abooga8]

*enthusiastic applause*

[@RyanHall3295]

Disney Star wars: black man is a janitor, Asian woman is a tech expert and bad driver, Latino is a drug runner. Can't make it up.

[@JeffRiyasat]

Ryan Hall and the white chick is perfect

[@HolyknightVader999]

Remember back in the original Star Wars where the white man was the drug runner while black men get to be powerful Jedi MASTERS or charming nobles with floating cities? Pepperidge Farm remembers.......

[@marioarcieri1837]

Oh it gets better. The woman couldn't defeat an elderly white man without an army of mostly dead men. Good job disney

[@RecoveringLoLAddict]

Old white men are bitter, misguided and wrong (and make for 80% of the Space N*zis COs) Old white women are paragons of justice, leadership and sacrifice (Basically Leia and Holdo)

[@OWNYOMAMA]

Black man was also kidnapped and enslaved to be a child soldier for a fascist organization.

[@darklands14]

Fitting the dagger to JJ's face is utterly brilliant.

[@LoLPunky]

It fit surprisingly well

[@jakefrost7404]

JJ certainly had the nose for it...

[@lachieechoecho]

I laughed way too hard at that!

[@Retsbol]

Oy vey, I'm calling the ADL for this hate speech

[@serenawilliamslovesbigwhit5029]

He has a funny nose

[@rykarmccoy7780]

E;R posting a Star Wars video on Star Wars day? That’s a one in a million shot...

[@Insomnolant1335]

Never tell me the odds. You'll only confuse me.

[@VagrantDune]

one in a 365 shot*

[@DreamlessSleepwalker]

@@VagrantDune Shu tup 82 IQ.

[@sargesacker2599]

I'm just going to be a smug prick for a second and say it's the 5th here is Aussie land, you guys got to stop living in the past.

[@internetcitizen7633]

@@VagrantDune Implying e;r would upload once a year

[@napiersh1]

"Why do we let child groomers make these?" is the most important question anyone has asked about disney.

[@desdichado-007]

And I think it got missed in the shuffle by most watchers.

[@narc440]

What do you mean

[@rilasolo113]

@@narc440 17:40

[@Youllpayforthat]

@@narc440 what is there to miss? even if the joke wasnt in this video ive heard it elsewhere, do you not know about hollywood being ran by people like epstien?

[@stackflow343]

@@Youllpayforthat Oh I thought he was referencing something specific with the movie

[@delivererofdarknessshoguno1133]

"You can't just forcepull a moving spaceship!" Rey: "I'm the jedi, you gotta deal with it!"

[@rdonshatalov]

this is where ER is actually wrong. TFU WAS in fact canon before Lucasarts were bought by the Mouse. and it is a bad example of that as well. Galen Marek was one of the most potent Jedi in the older fluff + he used his passion to fuel the Force as he was an ex-Sith + he REALLY struggles in the game before managing to pull the ship down. so it was not impossible but only for the powerful and trained forceusers

[@brosephnoonan223]

@@rdonshatalov He also doesnt pull the ship down. It's an already crashing ship that he "guides" from the ground.

[@rdonshatalov]

@@brosephnoonan223 wait... how's that? are u talking about the novel or the game? cuz in the game he kinda pulled her down though she wasn't using the engines, only the antigrav

[@aaronlandry3934]

RDon Somov Games are not canon

[@mgeiger2341]

@@rdonshatalov Yoda did it in the 2d clone wars as well, but he's also an ancient Jedi master, so it's slightly more probable.

[@joaofarias2534]

"An Alien gives a necklace to Rey to mark she's a tourist that they will rob later" Hahahaha

[@QuaestorL]

That's how it works for gringos in Rio de Janeiro

[@bapu8459]

Lucas Rodrigues de Oliveira damn straight

[@timewarpdrive77]

I feel bad for the robbers if they try to rob Rey...

[@cookedsushi6417]

TimeWarpDrive 77 I think it would be funny if she got her ass beat by a small alien child

[@QuaestorL]

@@cookedsushi6417 this not happening os why we can't have nice things

[@whatisupmyfellowamericans8808]

"The star wars galaxy is just packed full of sand." No wonder why Anakin turned to the dark side.

[@neuxell]

just wanted to genocide sand and create a grass ethnostate he was a grass nationalist

[@whatisupmyfellowamericans8808]

@@neuxell Wouldn't that make him a _Grassionalist?_ I think I can hear the groans from here.

[@meishiate-8139]

Took me a second, but I got it👍😂

[@grandempressvicky6387]

@Niŋin turdl已 and were suddenly silenced in pained cringe.

[@commandercaptain4664]

Anakin: Sand. Why'd it have to be sand? Obi-Wan: Dust. Very dangerous. YOU GO FIRST.

[@vsGoliath96]

Okay, so here's my question. If the Holdo Maneuver is one in a million, what if Holdo just got unlucky? Like she wasn't trying to sacrifice herself at all! She was trying to run the fuck away and accidentally nailed the Supremacy instead!

[@HiddenHandMedia]

You shouldn't be able to use lightspeed if you're too close to objects. That shit made no sense.

[@davefred]

Now that'd be fucking funny

[@mryellow6918]

MY whole understanding of hyperspace was that its not real space thats why its all blue thus you cant hit anything. actually im pretty sure it is, or used to be

[@vsGoliath96]

@@mryellow6918 So from my admittedly small understanding of Star Wars lore, you technically have to travel through mapped out Hyperspace Lanes, because celestial bodies with high enough gravitational mass can still be hit, even in hyperspace. I have absolutely no idea how that works, considering that every galaxy ever is constantly in motion and the amount of things you can crash into is essentially infinite. Any mapped out lane would be relevant for about 10 seconds, but whatever! I also know that ships in Star Wars are properly equipped so that if they approach a large gravitational mass, the ship drops out of hyperspace automatically to avoid atomizing the vessel and whatever it hits. So basically, nailing the Supremacy shouldn't have been possible in Last Jedi, and Light Speed Skipping from Rise of Skywalker is equally not allowed by canon. But clearly Disney don't give a fuck.

[@mryellow6918]

@@vsGoliath96 it's actually quite difficult to crash into things in space. Like you could throw 5 galaxies at us and not a single planet would collide.

[@Jon-ey4el]

C3P0 is actually just looking at memories of Luke, R2, Leia etc etc in his memory banks.

[@CpCubeR]

Like they couldn't copy 3pos memory on some hard drive if they would want him back

[@mathphysicsnerd]

I wish they'd had the balls to go through with "killing" C3PO via memory wipe, it'd be a less indignant death than him having to live prancing around as a minimal support character for psycho force bitch and her goth simp.

[@juicyd9233]

You gonna make me cry my dude

[@mankyscotchgit4986]

That hurt.

[@mankyscotchgit4986]

@AsiaNPC I don't see why not, then again this is disney wars so they probably don't know what data is.

[@Xighor]

Oh wrong ship? Ah that's fine she murdered a bunch of prisoners on a ship as long as it wasn't Chewie

[@electricbayonet2]

You're probably right, though. Lando very recently murdered a stormtrooper and just kinda left the corpse in the middle of the celebration, we've known since TFA that the First Order is not above capturing and torturing people for information, and somehow I doubt the First Order is going to be very accepting of all the witnesses saying "Oh, no, it wasn't any of _us_ that killed him. It was...someone else. Someone who left already." Chewie got his own ship because he's an insanely high-value capture, but that other ship was probably stuffed to capacity with people rounded up from the festival.

[@NoTimeToBehLohst]

@@electricbayonet2 His point is that she murdered a bunch of prisoners and that the movie basically ignores this.

[@limozinis7854]

Indrick Boreale electric is backing him up

[@uncletimo6059]

Ah that's fine she murdered a bunch of -prisoners- MEN on a ship as long as it wasn't -Chewie- MINORITY RAYCE

[@anonymouswombat8538]

@@NoTimeToBehLohst where would i find you , if not in spesss?

[@stryyker9]

Han Solo to Impatient Luke : "Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops . Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?" Poe : Light Speed Skipping

[@NexusKin]

Han Solo: George Lucas Poe: Disney

[@soumyaranjankanr306]

Poe : Ha ha, Light speed goes Brrr

[@alexhazel]

@@soumyaranjankanr306 i mean, thats not wrong.

[@neuxell]

Holdo accidentally destroys the fleet while trying to ditch everyone Poe accidentally saves everyone while trying to kill everyone It's all a joke

[@gewishworm4724]

let's be honest they just said "fuck it" and burnt a dumpster to finish the movies. JJ was probably trying his best to save a sinking ship but should have let Rain johnson drowned with the final two movies.

[@atf5813]

Rey: “CHEWY!!!” Finn: “YeEaH!”

[@alexstark9071]

Negus

[@cchavezjr7]

Rey's teeth got more screen time than any other character in the trilogy.

[@Kveldred]

[screeches irritatingly] Acting!

[@RIISK04]

@@Kveldred well the actors did really good for what they were given.

[@RIISK04]

@You Tube woah simmer down there. I'm in no way a fan of these movies and nothing will make them "pretty". I didn't say they weren't doing it for money, the entire trilogy was a shitty cash grab obviously. What I actually said was the actors *perfomed* decently given the horrible writing and direction they had to work with. Chill out.

[@RIISK04]

@You Tube and yea, the big paycheck probably helped them ignore how garbage the script was.

[@migarsormrapophis2755]

this may actually literally be true, I'd say someone should count it up, but I wouldn't want to force anyone to rewatch this

[@baw5xc333]

The Disney Star Wars galaxy is got to be the smallest fictional universe to ever exist. In a place where there’s trillions of people and thousands of star systems, there’s only a handful of important people.

[@thehoerscorral8565]

This was honestly by far and away m biggest issue with the Disney wars starting back in TFA. The scale was Disney-ized, I.E. just a handful of underdogs against the big overarching evil. I'm not even some Star Wars nerd but they just completely missed the scale of a galactic universe, something the prequels got right. It could have just been names changed and no mention of Star Wars IP and it would be just another Disney garbage pile.

[@wisemankugelmemicus1701]

@@thehoerscorral8565 Anakin gets some good retroactive characterization. All these fuckin' sand planets no wonder he hates it.

[@dr_birb]

@@wisemankugelmemicus1701 people were hating hating on Anakin sand hatred. Now they hate the sand themselves. HE KNEW THE FUTURE, AS HE IS THE ONLY CHOSEN ONE!

[@Wolf_Larsen]

This has always been Star Wars' biggest problem. No world building. All the scenery is just a backdrop. Kotor 2 basically slapped the entire universe so hard there was no coming back from it. If we were to take that entire galaxy spanning Empire as a backdrop, nothing makes sense anymore. The resources, the planets, any sort of logistical or strategic importance of points. Star Wars has always been nothing more than a fairy tale in space. And it cannot be anything more because it's all so undeveloped. Let's take the death star as an example. How many resources did it take? I read somewhere it must have taken somewhere to the tune of 40000 star destroyers. If the evil empire is able to muster that many resources it must mean that they already have so many star destroyers to make the Imperial Navy from 40k look minuscule. An empire of that size cannot be toppled by some rebels. None of it makes sense.

[@EnclaveTrooper1]

Not only there's a handful of important people, but most of them are related to each other.

[@TMAJ0R]

Disney starwars doesn't count, it's just a bad dream Luke is having after partying too much after Return Of The Jedi

[@matthewmuir8884]

I can see it now; a 1-minute scene that would fix everything: We see flashes of the sequel trilogy before Luke wakes up in shock. An arm reaches for his chest and a voice gently reminds him, "Just breathe slowly." Luke turns, and we see that the voice and the arm are from his wife: Mara Jade, who was lying beside him. She asks him, "What's wrong?" Luke answers, "I had the most horrible nightmare; our Jedi Temple was destroyed, everything had gone back to how it was in the days of the Empire." Mara agrees, "That does sound horrible." Luke nods. "But the worst part is, that you weren't there. Our son, Ben, wasn't anywhere." Mara leans in close and reassures him, "It was only a nightmare; it doesn't have to come to pass." "I know," Luke then gently strokes Mara's face with his flesh-and-blood hand, "I love you, Mara." Mara replies, "I love you too, Luke" and they both go back to sleep.

[@iwasanMBTInerd]

The ending should have had George Lucas waking up from a cold sweat and saying "Oh god, I'm glad that never happened."

[@aaronlandry3934]

I prefer to think of it as Jar Jar Binks drunken fan fiction

[@SoI_Badguy]

"And it was all a dream!" >audience cries in joy

[@denisestout6558]

T Major that’s right the next movie will be Luke waking up in a pile of pine needles with a bad freaking headache and an empty bottle of everclear in his hand

[@lfm5444]

Charlie: Cloning secrets that only the sith know Kaminoans: Are you sure about that?

[@thebighurt2495]

No, no, they're all dead and the Spaarti NEVER. HAPPENED. So, definitely..... "Sith" secrets.

[@Wertzuio]

i think there is a comma after cloning, but yes

[@vasilistheocharis164]

E;R is the only reoccuring KZbin Villain that i can say never gets stale.

[@TheKyoshiFan]

vasilis theocharis he’s a villain? 😲

[@gabedurno6780]

Leafy is back so idk

[@Pr0jectFM]

@@TheKyoshiFan Well, uh, technically, nah

[@scepdafalin9301]

@ChuckThemClouds Molded by it

[@johndoe5432]

Antihero**

[@bloodwrage]

wow, that JJ nose and dagger crossover was perfect

[@serenawilliamslovesbigwhit5029]

lol

[@jakajakos]

Perfect match

[@warpsneed9338]

Pure coincidence.

[@Yeentenology]

*28:18* Everything is falling into place.... 😂😂😂😂 *OH, GOD!!!!* .😂😂😂😂

[@defvent]

Star Wars day used to be a time of celebration. Now it's a day of mourning.

[@ImmaLittlePip]

No wonder the clone wars cartoon ended on a depressing note Those dead clone troopers represent the franchise

[@jonasseorum5471]

But we can play fallen order with a red lightsaber and sith costume but that's about all.

[@G360LIVE]

Not for me. I use it to make my own celebration. Today, I celebrated by watching my re-edit of The Phantom Menace. You wouldn't believe how much better that movie is when a half-hour of crap (and Jar Jar and Anakin's annoying pieces of dialogue) is cut out of it. And I didn't feel like falling asleep once. I got through Tatooine without being bored. I got through Coruscant without being bored. It was amazing. lol The final battle was so much better too. Also, I spent a few hours outlining how I would rewrite the Prequel trilogy to better fit with the OT. Next year, I'll probably do the same for the Sequels. Although, I'm going to re-edit The Force Awakens next, so I'll watch that long before next May 4th. In other words, I'm grateful that Disney (and George Lucas with the Prequels) inspired me to learn about good editing and good writing and gave me material that I learn from and practice with to apply and grow my skills. So, today's a good day. :)

[@G360LIVE]

@@stickstupid Actually, I'm a manchild with OCD. For example, in my re-edit of TPM, I reordered the scenes in the final battle sequence not only so that they flow better -- in terms of fighting back, peril, losing hope, gaining hope, and victory -- but also to make there be just about equal time between the scenes in which the red force fields in the Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Darth Maul fight close and open. That always bothered me in the theatrical cut that the red fields seemed to stay closed longer while Obi-Wan was behind it, waiting to fight Maul after Maul killed Qui-Gon.

[@romankvapil9184]

"Dark Science... Cloning." Well I guess the Republic was just flat out evil considering they too, funded and employed Kamino in cloning an entire army to fight off the Seperatists, right?

[@thebighurt2495]

You mean the people fighting for Independence from a corrupt government sending an Army of child slaves to oppress them? Totally bad guys.

[@jayive34]

Chewbacca was alive during the Clone Wars. He literally met some of them. How can Chewbacca not remember that?

[@aravindhanil7235]

@@jayive34 Chewe read the script and immediately understood if he kept his mouth shut and didnt move a muscle he'll live through the sequel trilogy

[@anordinarytree4425]

@@aravindhanil7235 I guess Leia and Han didnt read it with him

[@jackmakila3776]

I mean yes the Republic was pretty evil did the army of slave clones not tip you off?

[@electricbayonet2]

"[The Holdo Maneuver] is one in a million." So...since Holdo didn't have the Force like Luke did with the Deathstar, that means she's either a moron that doesn't understand math, or she was a dirty coward that died trying to save her own skin. I'm cool with that.

[@scockery]

They could've just written it off as the baddies having hyperdrive jammer gravity well generators near Exegol. It is something used before in non-movie Star Wars stories. But no...

[@Debicus]

@@scockery That'd make sense you fucking idiot. Not in this Disney Fanatical Star Wars Universe! (TM)

[@electricbayonet2]

@@scockery Even then, stuff like interdictors, synod-jammers, realspace anchors, etc were rooted in preventing hyperspace-equivalents from either fleeing the battlefield or bringing in reinforcements. I guess you could construct a situation where a capitol ship like the Supremacy was somehow rendered unable to perform the normal function of stopping hyperspace-ramming, but that would beg the question of why _planets_ were protected against that before now. It's just...it's just so dumb.

[@Adorni]

Aaah, but that’s where you’re wrong! ... Because Holdo _does_ have the Force! screenrant.com/star-wars-holdo-force-sensitive-laura-dern/

[@skippityblippity8656]

Adorni EVERYONE GETS THE FORCE!

[@Rob.Tostes]

"This is a movie about space wizards intended for manchildren" And the best thing about them are the E;R vídeos If Disney can alienate even the manchildren, they surely are hot garbage

[@dr.vanilla9017]

@@godofall7624 good. Are you fluent in English?

[@Rob.Tostes]

@@godofall7624 I'm not sure if I understood you correctly, but what I meant to say was the only good thing to come out of Disney's StarWars was E;R videos

[@Rob.Tostes]

@@godofall7624 okay then

[@gerrardhart6040]

@Alexandra hahahaha! Imagine wasting time on channel that you hate. Glad KZbin had that feature.

[@Slazors]

@@godofall7624 >300+ comments on e;r videos LMAO

[@JaelaOrdo]

The Jedi Code: There is no emotion, there is... Rey: “Hey can you stop with that Jedi code stuff, I’m trying to scream and swing this lightsaber around erratically and you’re really distracting me!”

[@malcolmjenkins3585]

Lol The sequel peeps dont know anything about star wars anyways.

[@malcolmjenkins3585]

@Luis Martinex nah, at least the prequels strengthened anakin's turn and created a cool new expansion of the galaxy, as well as showing palpatine's cunning and making him more interesting (I'm not saying they don't have flaws like OTHER people say tho).

[@luckierloser]

@Luis Martinex could you elaborate on... well any of that?

[@grogu9906]

@Luis Martinex mhm all the characters were dumberer than anakin whom apparently has no emotions and is just evil. According to you. You just want to keep hating the prequels for no reason so you seem attuned with the lore

[@malcolmjenkins3585]

@Luis Martinex he turned to the darkside because of unfortunate events and a sith mastermind manipulating him. Also, im not sure what you mean when you say that palpatine only conquered an entire government because apparently EVERY single person in that government was an idiot

[@sankdom4598]

What really pisses me off about Disney is that they got rid of Luke’s wife She was an actually sick character I would of loved to see her and Luke just being cool. Instead of copying 4-6 or 1-3 it would have been a unique story about Luke and his adventures through getting stronger in the force and his adventures across the galaxy would at least be different and cool

[@lucasoheyze4597]

if she was sick maybe she just died?

[@ArghyadeepPal]

Mara Jade was something else

[@Arlecchini]

who was his wife?

[@ArghyadeepPal]

@@Arlecchini Mara Jade

[@berkaltuglu8140]

Darth Talon

[@logicaldude3611]

"Taking one last look at my friends"... in a room with no one he really knows at all.

[@Super-Godzilla99]

sadest sceen in all of star wars

[@ghostiebaka2809]

I’m HOPING that he was actually looking through memories stored in his data banks. Like “give me a moment to look through all of my good memories”

[@jflanagan9696]

Reminds me of the scene from Futurama where Fry was dating a Lucy Liu-bot "I'll never forget you, FryMEMORY DELETED!"

[@thephoenix4093]

i legit assumed that he was remembering his friends from the past movies i didn't even knew that he would consider po a friend of all people...

[@aivb81588]

fuckin lost it at 12:41 "some little alien kid gives Rey a little festive necklace to mark that she's a tourist that they can rob later." just brilliant

[@SlavicDoge]

"Taking one last look... at my friends..." That is one of the most depressing things I've heard and it hurts me on the inside that no one in the entire franchise gave a sh*t about C-3PO.

[@andrewaftontheandroidhedge2780]

he should of bin holding a picture of anakin R2 and obiwan

[@frenchsoldier8485]

Anakin gave one

[@frenchsoldier8485]

@Mustiboi Salman Did he?

[@29-arnavsamant97]

That's just so wrong At your friends? Oh god

[@dardanik]

"STFU, nobody cares about your robot fanfiction"

[@jonnoble5624]

Can we talk for a minute about Adam Driver’s casting as the main antagonist? As intimidating as a glass of warm milk. I hear this mentioned so rarely as though it’s not important that the villain is utterly lacking in menace.

[@dreameater8548]

It's more scary in the "The Infiltrated Boss" fanmade episode than during the trilogy. Nice lightsaber tho

[@literallyanangrymoose7717]

'As intimidating as a glass of warm milk' Yo, look at this mf, dropping facts over here! You're dead right. He's a shouty manchild with anger issues and a Darth Vader fetish. Personally, I'd have just dropped out of acting after the movies and just hidden in shame.

[@222CBK222]

Remember when Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan in New Hope? Or when he bested Luke in Empire Strikes Back? Across two movies, he did this and more to help cement the fact he was imposing and powerful. Kylo Ren is bested by someone with less training and experience across 3 movies while throwing temper tantrums.

[@piotrd.4850]

@@literallyanangrymoose7717 Yes, he was. Which btw was GREAT IDEA - just underutilized.

[@notatthistime3867]

It certainly doesn't help that Adam is too goofy looking to be menacing. The first time he took off his mask it was as intimidating as seeing Screech from Saved by the Bell.

[@GabrielFarseer]

Remember when Han Solo explained in the OT that jumping to light speed was complex and took calculations that took time, because if you messed up and ended up in a star or bla bla bla, you would die faster then you could say crappy Disney Star Wars. Well none of that matters I guess, because we can make a light skipping spectacle ...

[@cagankaygii]

That can be explained with progression of technology though. There were external FTL drives for small starships in the prequels. In the originals, they were reduced in size, thus ships had internal drives. It only makes sense for technology to progress even further in the sequels. It's a bit of a leap, sure, but not too illogical.

[@GabrielFarseer]

@@cagankaygii true, but are they not using the same ship Han was using in A New Hope? When did they install this New tech? Why does No one use it? Etc. Etc. It's lazy writing and just a cheap special effect for the spectacle. All it does it make the universe and movies feel disconnected. My opinion ofc. Nothing wrong with your, it's All valid.

[@cagankaygii]

@@GabrielFarseer Idk, I'm just trying to make sense out of it somehow. Your criticism is more valid than my justification in this case. Just another continuity error to throw in the pile.

[@Tyfonen]

I just want to point out that Tie-fighters don't have lightspeed just to add to that pile of continuity errors.

[@tragedyplustime8271]

@@Tyfonen Actually, First Order TIEs DO have hyperdrives. It's still a plothole tho, since the TIE Kylo picks up in the DSII's wreckage is an Imperial TIE, and those don't have hyperdrives, yet he manages to reach Exegol with it.

[@JoshMC2000]

"secrets only the sith knew" are you forgetting the Clones were made by the Kaminoans. god dam this movie

[@Abdega]

Even the dude who wrote My Hero Academia knew that Japanese westaboos are more versed in Star Wars lore than the people whose literal job it is to be versed in it

[@quadeevans6484]

@@Abdega yes it's sad I really think the characters had potential but Disney sucks

[@Eslushee]

when the orange yoda shortly talks about the "only war" she says all of them besides the seperatists and clones

[@SrSpankems]

That is a very good point... "shut up"- sincerely, the Disney legal team.

[@Alias_Anybody]

@@Abdega Is there a story I'm not aware of?

[@eleanorsfate445]

S O M E H O W P A L P A T I N E R E T U R N S ... that's just a perfect synopsis of the plot right there.

[@vintheguy]

Bruh it's in the synopsis

[@Velereonics]

the fact that they put that line in the script, heard Poe say it, and left it in, is STAGGERING

[@eleanorsfate445]

@@Velereonics Honestly, dude. God-knows how many writers and editors this script passed, and not a single one raised their eyebrows. Funny how that works.

[@_Dovar_]

@@eleanorsfate445 It was on purpose.

[@tmclaug90]

I like how Lando traveled to Burning Man "years ago" and just stayed to party the whole time.

[@davidh9354]

"Why do we let child groomers make these?" Hmm, that's a good question...

[@ThePointlessBox_]

The Icon of Sin he means he synagogue of satan Silly woman

[@catspoons]

@The Icon of Sin the icon if sin gets stronger the longer it is on Earth

[@crqf2010ruler]

@The Icon of Sin The Vatican and Tel Aviv.

[@bobdoe6158]

@The Icon of Sin except Catholic priests being gay goes against Catholicism and the west, Rabbis being gay is promoted by Judaism.

[@bobdoe6158]

@The Icon of Sin ​ yes, it is a shame those illegitimate priests r*ped thousands of little boys against their religion. What is a bigger shame is the millions r*ped by the Brews legitimately practicing their evil religion. Is your sole existence to peddle lies? I've seen you in other threads doing it. Oh, I think I'm putting the puzzle together Raabbi.

[@taylors.607]

Literally made by children: "No but when you killed snoke... uhh... He was never dead! It was the emperor! Oh yeah and he's back now!" "B-but no! The emperor can be found with a sith doohickey! And we get to him?" "Actually the emperor has 10,000 of cool ships now that can all destroy planets with death star lasers!" "Wh wh.. what?"

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

My brother and I made a fantasy world all up in our heads that was a lot more cohesive and consistent than this when we were pre fucking teens!

[@poymannyng1845]

@@TheStraightestWhitest care to share? couldn't be worse than these films

[@NefariousKoel]

Disreeey writers constantly trying to one-up themselves in the center of a bukkake circle jerk of literary ineptitude.

[@PasserMontanus]

Yes, this is what corporate suits think is cool. Anomaly Inc. made an excellent video about it.

[@NefariousKoel]

@@PasserMontanus - Thanks for the channel reference. Will definitely check it out.

[@zer0esc872]

“Mary Sue can be an offensive term please refer to them as palpatine”

[@Thesavagesouls]

Warning the E;R has entered the facility.

[@EnclaveTrooper1]

@JZ Squared Vagina can be an offensive term, please refer to them as 'front holes'.

[@igorlobo7029]

it annoys me to know that Luke lost anakin's saber at the cloud city but for some reason this random grandma have it, know what it is and is keeping it safe and it only gets worse when the sequels treat it as Luke's saber when Luke has his own and only used this one for a few months edit: he had anakin's saber for 3 years, my mistake. but still...

[@danield.8233]

3 years to be fair. But yeah, you're point stands

[@connorhill8889]

Green saber was so much cooler anyway

[@ericchung3177]

He actually had Anakin's saber for around 3 years between ANH and ESB, but then again he had the green one for like 30 years so the point still stands.

[@connorludwig8472]

Very Disrespectfull Of Ma-Rey sue Burying Anakins Saber In the *S A N D*

[@nicolashrv]

The movie at the beginning: Palpateens: "YOU MUST KILL THE GIRL" The movie at the end: Palpateens: "I WANT YOU TO KILL ME SO YOU BECOME EMPRESS" The movie 5min later: Palpateens: "I WILL KILL YOU ALL SO I BECOME THE TRUE EMPEROR"

[@lucasnadamas9317]

5 minutes after: I am dead now so my plan is complete!... nevermind, I guess I'll just die

[@spartacussmith7070]

"NOTHING WILL STOP THE RETURN OF THE SITH!" *Gets stopped not 5 minutes later*

[@NinjaBusCow]

Lmfao!!

[@Grandmaster-Kush]

*KILL ME GODESS!*

[@NexusKin]

Palpatine in the Prequels: Encouraged a series of trade disputes and incidents between two factions that led to a vote of no confidence against Chancellor Valorum, and him being installed as the new Chancellor. Orchestrated a massive Galaxy-spanning Civil War between the Republic and the Separatists, so they would slowly be weakened over time and wouldn't have enough resources to be able to oppose him in the future. Manipulated Anakin Skywalker by feeding off his fears, insecurities, and anger, and managed to eventually completely turn him to the Dark Side. Executed Order 66 to kill almost all the Jedi, then had Anakin wipe out the last bit of resistance from the Republic and the Separatists. Took over the entire galaxy and completed Anakin's transformation into Darth Vader.

[@c.benmansour3546]

Kylo introduces his helmet, then destroys it, then glues it back together...that pretty much sums up this entire trilogy

[@JayTohab]

Kraft glue

[@stackflow343]

I actually didn't catch that the first time. I think my brain filtered it out as too absurd, so in response just interpreted a whole new helmet he wanted hot topic weld lines for some emo reason lol.

[@JAKBOT3000]

It's also just a shittier vader helmet. It's like poetry... it rhymes

[@thephoenix4093]

such an awesome mask one of the best helmet designs in star wars and it was shown less than sibon ithano....

[@insensitive919]

@@thephoenix4093 I definitely prefer it over Adam Driver's face.

[@dolphinboi-playmonsterranc9668]

"Palpatine wants you dead" And so does everybody else who is a fan of the original trilogy.

[@denisestout6558]

Dolphinboi this should have a million likes by now thank you for making my day!!

[@phattybacon931]

Even fans of the second trilogy... Seriously I watched revenge of the sith the other week, at least it has good aspects to it

[@DefecTec]

Dolphinboi prequels and originals

[@tam2237]

Defec Tec you mean Revenge of the Sith and the Originals and rogue one

[@DefecTec]

TamBrix22 ig rogue one, not rebels tho, maybe some events like the major ones (Ashoka , Rex and Vader) but the rest is mainly kids stuff, plus it gets in the way of the force unleashed which imo is way better

[@AragornRespecter]

17:39 “why do we let child groomers make these” He tried to warn us… we didn’t listen

[@theocho]

"Old man Lando... and the whole theater clapped" They actually did. I was there. Jesus.

[@aderemiporsche]

*That* is the power of nostalgia. *Weaponised nostalgia.* The theatre was not clapping for the film nor Rey and her band of characterless, unworthy misfits; they were clapping for a character they knew and loved from two better films they had seen in their childhood.

[@targitausrithux2320]

Aderemi Porsche Never really cared for Lando.... never found him that great

[@MasteringJohn]

Lando's the person who actually saved the day. If Rey had just traced the coordinates to Exegol and avoided confronting the Emperor for thirty minutes, the Sith fleet would have gotten crushed as Palpatine would remain too powerless to stop them.

[@owensamrob]

@NPC #10101010101 Red pill tourettes

[@chrisperrien7055]

@MNI Andes Exactly, never subsidize those anti-white az-holes of Disney/Time/Earner/Fox/ABC Inc. Paying for your own destruction

[@puff_the_dragon_man1284]

There’s plot armor, and then there’s Rey shields

[@whatisupmyfellowamericans8808]

I'm stealing that one.

[@TheHalogen131]

Oh yeah, that is a good one!

[@TheguyfromJurassicpark3]

Here I chime your phrase is now mine

[@FlyingV555]

Wait a minute how did this happen we’re smarter than this

[@atocanboi409]

@@FlyingV555 Fans: apparently not... Disney: YOU TURNED THEM AGAINST ME? George Lucas: *You have done that to yourself!* Disney: I see through the lies of The Last Jedi! I do not fear the Retcon as you do! I HAVE BROUGHT PEACE, MONEY, DIVERSITY AND AN ENDING TO MY NEW SAGA! George Lucas:YOUR NEW SAGA? Disney: *Don't make me kill you...* George Lucas: Disney, my allegiance is to the Lucasfilm, TO THE ORIGINALS! Disney: IF YOU'RE NOT WITH ME... *THAN YOU'RE MY ENEMY!* /later/ George Lucas: IT'S OVER DISNEY! I HAVE THE FAN-BASE! Disney: *YOU'RE UNDERESTIMATING MY BUDGET* George Lucas: Don't try it! Disney: AAAAARAEAYAAAIASAAAAAAAAAAAAPAAALAPAAATAIANAEAAAAAAA - *AEURGH* George Lucas: YOU WHERE THE CHOSEN ONE! IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THE BAD MOVIES NOT JOIN THEM! BRING AN ENDING TO THE SAGA, NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS! Disney: AAaAaaAa.... *I HATE PLOTLINES!* George Lucas: YOU WHERE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER PALPATINE! I loved you... Disney: *burning in TRoS*

[@darkmattergamesofficial]

"cloning" "secrets only the sith knew" The Kaminoans: am I a joke to you?

[@thibaldus3]

You're assuming those fan fiction writers know anything about Star Wars besides the most superficial stuff ?

[@blvalverde]

The kaminoans are evil and sith. Proof? Do you wanna proof? Here is your proof, they are white, skinny, and rich. If the were at least mega fat them there might have been a discussion.

[@darkmattergamesofficial]

@@blvalverde you must be man of science

[@blvalverde]

@@darkmattergamesofficial I am a Sith, which according to this movie teaches you advanced genetic manipulation. Also sorcery.

[@niahoad]

He slept during history class. Clone wars? Never heard of them

[@DoctorObviously]

Kylo's helmet is a metaphor for this entire trilogy.

[@olotocolo]

yeah, kinda... It was interesting and seemed full of background depth only to reveal disappointment and stupidity in the first movie Was riddiculed and destroyed in the second And was half-assly glued together in a way that was meant to be cool, but looks ridiculous instead in last one. Only to be dropped altogether. yeah, it really is

[@torchlight1785]

@@olotocolo sure the Force Awakens wasn’t “great” but at least at the time it had plot threads that could have lead to something great or at least good. TLJ shat on those plot threads and reset the story just because it’s director was huffing his own farts.

[@SquidwardAF]

Corona-chan even brought HitlE;R back. What can't she do?!

[@真冬-c6f]

Corona-chan is a mary SUE

[@mathphysicsnerd]

Bring forth a decent leader for a major country?

[@vintheguy]

Corona has no gender you *Biget* So the correct term is just sue

[@cordyceps182]

With nature returning, the noble E;R can once again make videos

[@trashbash2788]

Bring back Rick. Snot-nosed bitch.

[@Saiku]

3PO is a tool to them, just like this franchise is to Disney.

[@4G64SicKShoT]

C-3PO

[@nillynush4899]

Boy howdy I hope this Covid lie at least forces the sheeple to stop supporting China (Disney's future)

[@yt.602]

C-3PO has ALWAYS been a total tool.

[@julcaos]

@@4G64SicKShoT thanks for that, I was about to do it myself.

[@scotchwhisky6094]

tbh I couldn't care less about 3po or r2, I want star wars to go in a darker tone like The Mandalorian. I would have liked Rey to turn evil in rise of skywalker but I guess kids won't like that.

[@Tronous117]

I am 100% onboard with the idea that Rey killed Leia. Maybe that's what makes them a Dyad? Their ability to kill OT characters?

[@TrenElZombie]

Welp, if we follow the dyad thing . Leia tried to connect a bond with her son, but as stated that conection was destroyed by mary dude to stabbing

[@kaoset1237]

I agree

[@Lion-tq7ob]

Instantly thought this, never saw the actual movie.

[@MayonnaiseHellmanns]

she can do no wrong, impossible

[@EdwardEstacado]

Yes

[@genildomiranda1690]

I love it when people compare luke to Rey, let's see luke's track record: Ep4 : got his ass handed to him by the sand people and got saved by obi wan, then Leia saves him and Han because their plan backfired, obi wan sacrifices himself so that Luke and Vader don't even meet. Ep:5 almost killed by the wampa and got saved by Han, goes to train with Yoda and fails to lift the ship, than leaves to fight Vader, he loses a arm and nearly died. Ep 6: fights some of jabba's thugs, and the rancor, than duel and defeats Vader. Yeah, the same as Rey who defeated and branded the strongest force user in the galaxy (at least the only one actually doing shit) without any training. Yep, the same.

[@blackrapier713]

See what having two X chromosomes in a modern Disney film gets you?

[@connorludwig8472]

#notmystarwars

[@ChaosAngelZero]

Even Korra can close her mouth while attempting to meditate...

[@cattrucker8257]

It kinda hurts that Korra looks better than someone with this. And it should be a true low mark for the character who "surpasses" her.

[@MrRobot-0]

@@cattrucker8257 it is liking suparsing a red shirt ot 40k guardsman survival rate.

[@D0NU75]

Also Korra never looked like a homeless bum with greasy hair and sweaty face. It is something when Korra can look much more feminine being a complete tomboy bitch than Rey who is closer to being an androgynous mannequin. She also killed Princess Leia so it's the first and only Disney character who succeeded at destroying what Walt believed in.

[@MoaRider]

Personally, I think Korra looks better with her mouth open.

[@thecommenter578]

@@MoaRider we have a man of romanticism

[@krissuyx]

*"Somehow* Palpatine returned." It sounds exactly like a comedy line.

[@krissuyx]

@Char Aznable Well, that's not what it sounds like. That's what it IS.

[@theilluminatedone9214]

Remember when Thumb Wars made a joke about that decades before this movie was made? "Somehow I escaped."

[@thehermit8618]

The fucking Kylo Ren cut-in sent me to the Nth dimension. That shit shouldn't have the comedic value it has

[@pedrokantor3997]

@Char Aznable you have a much better story arc than Kylo Ren ever did.

[@joeld.k.7652]

My headcanon is that the ships in the final battle were piloted by Fortnite players.

[@nnnnmhughuuhhjiijj9457]

That's insult to 5 years old's intellect, even they deserve better.

[@LucasDiblasio]

That's an insult to the fake fans

[@Ghost7065]

My head canon is that Duel of the Fates is more canon.

[@QuaestorL]

Dayum man, that makes sense

[@wesleyfilms]

Same

[@rinakitty9283]

I like the idea of making her OP just for her to end up doing more damage than good. No matter what she does (aka doing the 'right' thing) she ends up hurting the rebels, innocent bystanders, or anyone she aligns herself with because she can't control her OP. They were on the right track with her blowing up Chewy, but lost the impact when he came back without a scratch.

[@thestranger4894]

"Don't qui obi, he was always gon" Yeah, I'm tattooing this quote on my forehead.

[@OfficialDJSoru]

Don't you mean Tattooine that quote on your forehead?

[@AndrewAce.]

🤣

[@lol_vevo]

I love how Rey can use the force without consequences but when Luke, Leia and Kylo try to do the same they all fucking die

[@matthewmiller1101]

iTs bEcAusE ShE pAlpaTinE But in all seriousness Ben should have not die because he is technically part of the skywalker family which is the one with the CHOSEN ONE

[@grogu9906]

“Rise of Skywalker” Movie: last skywalker dies the hell

[@swoops7687]

@@grogu9906 followed by some identity theft

[@fall190]

@You tuber like that time she healed the worm ? oh wait

[@the_higherground]

He should have lived instead of Rey tbh.

[@electricbayonet2]

I can't believe I forgot that C3P0's excuse for not telling them what's written on the dagger is that he doesn't have the Sith equivalent of an N-word card. There's just too much stupid to remember everything.

[@mgeiger2341]

Just as the spiders foretold.

[@modernprince842]

🦏🥛

[@mgeiger2341]

@@modernprince842 Did you bring the McMuffins?

[@modernprince842]

@@mgeiger2341 This movie already has an overload of McMuffin-tisms

[@electricbayonet2]

@@mgeiger2341 OH GOD THAT'S RIGHT I Can't Believe Part 2: The Can't Believening, but...wow. I had forgotten that this was in the leaks EFAP covered. That said, it didn't prepare me for the actual movie basically being "Group of sociopaths trick the mentally-handicapped kid into killing himself by saying the N-word."

[@SneefyQuaffles]

I love how her only faults are that shes TOO powerful

[@Iserlohn.Republican.Government]

“Who are you” “Rey” “Rey who” Rey looks to the distance to see Luke and Leia and the gives a little smirk on her face as she opens her mouth and says... “Rey’d Shadow Legends. With over 16 million downloads, Raid shadow legends is free, turn based game with over 400 characters to collect. The devs add 16 champions each month and are constantly updating the game.” Edit: Instead of a "thanks for likes", here's a random fact: Usain Bolt has scoliosis

[@_V.Va_]

Unoriginal and gay.

[@MusabNaveed]

why was this funny to me? why did I laugh? I should be executed to laughing.

[@mariobermudez1228]

That would actually make Rey likable though.

[@tam2237]

Wow, ha... ha.... ha..... that was so funny.... is what I said after falling off my bantha from a LONG TIME AGO in a galaxy far far away...

[@tolke1n2.05]

nice original joke bro.....not outdated or unfunny at all........

[@captainhamilton]

Honestly, establishing the Holdo Maneuver as "one in a million" just makes me think Holdo tried to run away and fucked up.

[@vaginalarthritis1753]

lmao that's fucking brilliant!

[@chrisperrien7055]

IIRC, Mauler brought that up, too.

[@dragonknightleader1]

Women can't drive confirmed in TLJ. Holdo crashed her ship, and Rose crashed into Finn.

[@infiniteshay8660]

I like the theory that Holdo was actually about to flee in a traitorous move since if it was one in a million she probably thought she could get away with it and killed herself trying to betray the resistance.

[@Myne1001]

And she would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for the patriarchy's oppressive mathematics!

[@jlupus8804]

Women drivers, amirite?

[@infiniteshay8660]

@@jlupus8804 I mean I won't say you're right, but you're not wrong.

[@infiniteshay8660]

@@Myne1001 Yeah how dare the universe conspire against her traitorous act lol

[@supercharliegalaxy]

I mean she practically acted like a empire officer anyway.

[@gambitscard6882]

When I first saw the 3PO clip in the trailers of him getting rebooted or reprogrammed (we didn’t know), I thought it would restore his full memory from 1-3. He would tell them a concise synopsis of the whole saga and somehow that information was going to be helpful to the whole resolution. I thought this would have been a clever way to take advantage of the fact that 3PO has been there for it all.

[@HiddenHandMedia]

But BB8 !

[@nvfury13]

Comments by George Lucas imply the memory wipe at the end of 3 didn’t work on R2D2. Though it must have somehow effected Obi wan instead, since he doesn’t recognize the droid that was a part of those adventures because his master made such a big deal of him and brought him along, and that hung out with him, Ani and Ani’s home built droid for all those years.

[@windwind3170]

>Rey being so strong in the force is actually proof that Palpatine's eugenics works

[@whitworth5s248]

I'd pay money for a poster of Rey with the caption: "Master Race"

[@bbrb8680]

Whitworth 5S reyce

[@jagtech490]

Wind Wind I mean aren’t anakin and Luke proof of that

[@Laxhoop]

Can’t believe Disney expects me to believe that Palpatine and Rey’s dad were both clones, yet they didn’t even HINT at any of this in any movies. Good job Disney. You found a way to make a trainwreck worse.

[@Debicus]

It's like the Trolley Problem, but instead of given the option to save five lives but kill one, you get to piss on the five corpses after the trolley leaves.

[@Taylor-kh1mf]

Technically Rey is Palpatines daughter because 'her father' is actually a failed Palpatine clone that couldn't use the force but was kept alive for whatever

[@dodojesus4529]

@@Taylor-kh1mf because a genocidal dictator would definetly keep such a useless thing alive

[@dodojesus4529]

@L. Lawliet even while looking like a goblin he could've done it, and youre 100% correct in what World would he Give A single shit about his blood Line?

[@jlupus8804]

Nah they knew it was a stupid idea even back then. We would've gotten over it sooner, but we'd call it stupid in 2015 too.

[@hinamiravenroot7162]

The worst insult was letting Lea die in piece in the last movie, then yeeting her back into the ship with the force only to die slowly off screen in the aftermath then reviving her for part 3, CGI'ing her face unto another actress only to give her another meaningless death all while the actress of Lea died irl.

[@dwightk.schrute6743]

I don't think being sucked out into the cold vacuum of space qualifies as a peaceful death.

[@dwightk.schrute6743]

@Enclave Soldier "The temperature in outer space is 2.73 Kelvin (-270.42 Celsius, -454.75 Fahrenheit). This is actually the temperature of Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation, which is spread throughout the entire universe."

[@hinamiravenroot7162]

@@dwightk.schrute6743 more piecefull than getting force stabbed in the chest by sensory overloading Ray

[@dr_birb]

@@dwightk.schrute6743 space is cold, dying in it, not so much, depending where you are. If ur in solar system, u will fry on sun side, freeze on other one if i remember right.

[@MonochromaticPrism]

@@dr_birb Also, if you hold your breath the air can't escape your lungs quickly enough and your chest bursts more graphically than the day after an alien orgy.

[@franciscoponce9335]

When ray used the dagger some guy in the theater yelled "BULLSH!T" and I think that summed up the movie nicely

[@beeRADify]

Redeem Thyself: Give us Admiral Thrawn

[@AtlatlMan]

​@@beeRADifyWell that sentiment aged well...

[@ionutcristian9650]

The only good this trash fire of a trilogy has brought are these videos lol.

[@WhyAreYouGhe]

True. E;R, vito, robothead... All the videos they made almost made it worth it. I mean Sw was dead the second Lucas signed so... Might as well enjoy it..

[@pilkers2]

And babu frick

[@WhyAreYouGhe]

@@pilkers2 stop being such a chump for "omg so cute" characters... He had like 2 minutes of screen time ffs.

[@pilkers2]

@@WhyAreYouGhe ik but he was the only good part of the movie

[@xd_mystyyyyy]

Well also MauLer.

[@mothmanprophet11]

19:45 "Chewy!" "YEA AH!" Dammit E;R, you took me by surprise. That was bloody hilarious.

[@LeHobbitFan]

IKR, I've been playing it on loop, I just can't stop!

[@Blizz3112]

Man, his jokes are so well crafted...

[@BruhYouEatGlizzy]

Any idea for the source? Sounds like Lil Jon to me

[@looinrims]

The best quote of ER: “This is a movie about space wizards intended for man children”

[@butthz8850]

Oh Patrick Willams, you blundering walnut.

[@OutsideTheTargetDemographic]

@@butthz8850 "Fucking idiot"?

[@filipinowhiteboy]

brilliant. Next time Mauler communicates with that loser Williams, he can drop this line on his feckless ass.

[@vintheguy]

This thread is a bruh moment

[@gokigenyou9524]

@@godofall7624 Let me guess... you have a Tumblr account

[@vsGoliath96]

You guys remember back to the old Plinkett reviews? And the "Waaaait a minute... Palpatine's behind it all!" joke? We lived long enough to see it become quite literal.

[@pnyhmsmx]

Wasn't aware he did that. I only saw that name in a random discussion of starwars about a month ago

[@ajlomax603]

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 classic review 👌🏾

[@stevenolson1295]

Skywalkers- dead Solos- dead *Rey Palpatine* Thanks Disney.

[@bruhmieter5688]

Make a fanfic about it loser

[@Dragonage2ftw]

Unfunny.

[@bruhmieter5688]

@Char Aznable great comeback commie.

[@bruhmieter5688]

@Char Aznable "if he calls me out for being anti consumer he's Deflecting" "lol" are you now

[@bruhmieter5688]

@Char Aznable great tactic the "he's deflecting and strawmanning" tactic

[@Telhias]

Why is everyone dissing Space Balls 2? JJ just forgot to add the laugh-tracks, but everyone makes mistakes.

[@feelsgoodman8698]

ebonic posting

[@remito7839]

I fucking wish we got a sequel to space balls instead of this crap.

[@thiccchungo1041]

LUDICROUS SPEEEEEEED

[@aaronlandry3934]

Thicc Chungo Haldo Speed *GOOO!*

[@thiccchungo1041]

@Aaron Landry * sound of 2 million crew members dying on just the supremacy alone *

[@harrogeorge7878]

You mentioned the Qui Gon death scene as a mention of the fact that Rei has healing powers but it gets worse when you remember Anakin wanted that exact same power to save his wife, if he had said power he wouldn't have gone to the dark side quite so easily. Edit: been more than a year, nice to see this comment had some fun replies, thanks people, been a joy to read them

[@vipoerx4532]

Force healing was a rare Jedi ability

[@SausageWithOranges]

Only Disney's favorites get that power

[@AnimatedTerror]

Sorry. Bit of a rant incoming. Um ahem. I can understand a creature like yoda. A thousands of years old force master having that ability and maybe (if we are to believe the child was raised in the Jedi temple) passing it to another of his kind. So I’ll give the child having force heal a pass. But Rey?! So Luke was trained by yoda, one of the strongest force users in canon for what seemed to be months. And Luke was incapable of such feats, even in the no longer canon legend comics that follow his journey post rotj. Even as a grey Jedi Such things were beyond him. Anakin was trained for even longer. And even he was unable to find such power. And he was trained as a Jedi as anakin and then as Vader he became a sith by palpys teachings. Speaking of. Palps. For all his power. Still couldn’t bring back the dead. It’s canon that the concept of force ghosts scared the shit out of him when he first discovered it. The Jedi he hated had done what he couldn’t. Beat death. But not literally. Like in a- you know. Then Rey busts in and is like “I spent a week with Luke where he halfhazardly “trained” me.” and then becomes Star Wars Jesus. Whoopdiedoooo! Thanks mouse! Good job! At least anakin and Luke lost an arm during their journey towards becoming Jedi. Agh! It’s bad writing. Bad movie. Go to your room!

[@TheFunkyCriminal]

I kinda forgot that the desire for this ability was the driving force behind pretty much all 6 movies before this. And it’s really just used as a plot device here, not really giving pause to the insane implications this ability has.

[@bodaciouschad]

@@TheFunkyCriminal Rey probably couldn't use perfect force healing, the kind that can regrow lost limbs and missing organs. It was probably the limit of her abilities to just close an open wound. The wurm is huge, so those deep gouges only went skin deep into it's hide. All she did in that scene was mend skin. True force healing is inordinately rare in star wars. It'd be redicilous for Rey to have that power, but not unreasonable for a jedi to be able to manage to sooth a beast with the force.

[@petereugenis4102]

“Someone cut up…….a knife” I die everytime. I’ve watched this like 4 times

[@JohnDoe-zw8vx]

Like Dwight using a knife to carve a wooden knife 🤣🤣🤣

[@andrewaftontheandroidhedge2780]

@@JohnDoe-zw8vx or a spoon to make a spoon

[@CPU9incarnate]

No more incorrect words were ever spoken than these: "Well, it can't get any stupider than this"

[@WraxTV]

"Sometimes foreshadowing is relatively obvious"

[@endcorruption993]

7:14 Is when he says this.

[@syzyphyz]

It can always get stupider.

[@Kabodanki]

What where they thinking

[@nathanjora7627]

CPU9incarnate You do realize that plenty of people said « Disney will make Star Wars good again » ? That should qualify as more incorrect :|

[@TheSaladKing]

Disney after TLJ: well, this dead horse ain't gonna beat itself.

[@vintheguy]

12 year olds after seeing rey: well, it ain't gonna beat itself

[@StolidLiquid]

@@vintheguy what? no one is beating off to rey bud... about as attractive as styrofoam.

[@STUCASHX]

@@StolidLiquid mmmmm... Styrofoam

[@dirtypure2023]

@@StolidLiquid Rule 34 Rey*

[@vintheguy]

@Char Aznable joke

[@gustavomachadobjj]

"Somehow Palpatine has returned." And not ONE person said, "I thought he was a myth!"

[@sephikong8323]

And also the fact that they refer to him as "Palpatine" and not "the Emperor", because most people would never have heard his name so saying it's Palpatine would ring no bell whereas saying that the Emperor is back would be telling to most people. The fact that apparently the events of the first trilogy are already mystified should mean that the Emperor is as well and thus by their own logic, calling him by his name would make even less sense

[@ujjwalmishra8962]

Good point

[@SideshowBob44]

Yeh, Luke Skywalker was a myth but The Emperor being a Sith? Yeh that was totally real 😂

[@GlassStatus]

@@sephikong8323 I always thought it was so jarring and weird that they just call him Palpatine like distant relative

[@TheGreater-ScopeVillain]

@@sephikong8323 I'm pretty sure that the galaxy knew that he was called 'Emperor Palpatine'. His name and face were everywhere across galactic news and such. Considering how much of an effect he had on the galaxy, its citizens _should_ know his name.

[@KetsubanSolo]

Back because I read the High Republic book and they explain why you can't do the Holdo Maneuver. Basically, if done wrong, the resulting collision can cause a ton of debris to scatter through the galaxy and hit tons of planets as if they were asteroids, which wiped out tons of people in those books. ... which makes the Holdo Maneuver look even worse, because now it's canon that Holdo gambled on starting a mini apocalypse.

[@checkm88]

I actually kinda like that explanation Too bad I don't care enough to excuse it's use in the movie since they were basically in the middle of nowhere (although I guess you can say that it'll travel far since it is space after all so touche) and this is technically the second retcon for it so too little too late but I do kinda like that idea of a mini apocalypse potentially happening and it being kind of an unspoken rule. Almost like it's an unspoken mutual agreement between two warring factions. Because what's gonna happen if you do it. Get arrested? I mean if you do it remotely and have a huge paper trail behind you probably. Maybe there's a space Geneva convention we don't know about (I haven't read anything so maybe there is one and I just don't know about it) and that's why no one does it. Either way, at least there was somewhat of a decent thing to come out of the holdo maneuver. At least I think so imo

[@joeschembrie9450]

If that were the case in canon, then it would be possible for a maniac with his own ship to destroy more planets than the Death Star. It would be like shooters, except that entire planets are killed. No galactic civilization could survive without strictly regulating the control and operation of hyperspace vehicles.

[@KetsubanSolo]

@@checkm88 yeah honestly as much as people make fun of The High Republic for shoehorned diversity (which you wouldn't know about if you weren't looking for it) and there being a rock character (who, yes, is an unfunny joke of a character who exists for a single joke pay-off in non-mainline story), it's actually one of the most competent things Disney Star Wars has put out and sets up how the jedi work in the prequels. ... and all because a bunch of writers got together and PLANNED EVERYTHING OUT.

[@Sylvine]

That would make it.... the Holdocaust! Sorry for the 1 year late reply, but this pun HAD to be made.

[@KetsubanSolo]

​@@SylvineI appreciate your contribution

[@hannahpreece3651]

Your analysis is making it sound like Leia is the real villain. Fully trained Force User pretending to be a normal political leader, slyly manipulating people into the situations she wants them to be in. Not afraid to sacrifice her own blood, including using her only child as bait to draw out the Emperor.

[@bronze-hawk6914]

Finally a female villain.

[@saeedbaig4249]

lol she's practically female Palpatine

[@gmaillastname8591]

OMG.....you should write for Disney....that would have made an infinitely more interesting finale to this awful trilogy.

[@hannahpreece3651]

@Ruosong Gao Now there's a movie I would watch.

[@kommissar.murphy]

C3po thinks they're his friends, but they treat him like dirt throughout.

[@Adamificus]

Simp3P0

[@Sorakeyblademaster37]

It’s probably him trying to convince himself that they’re friends because reality is too much for him to handle.

[@scathingtake1376]

I read that Palpatine was alive during the text-scroll and immediately made my way the theater's bar. I couldn't recall the finer details because of the liquor, so this is actually worse than I remember it being.

[@Enchie]

You should have got a refund instead.

[@bloodofphantoms]

if this is true that's a good use of liquor ngl

[@Nork490]

Or a refund + booze.

[@finleyholm5221]

Did you see any of the trailers?

[@aaronlandry3934]

I read that shit and immediately started laughing. That’s some bottom tier twelve year old fan fiction level writing there! The only other time I laughed that hard was when the stupid wheel drips said his name was Dio. I instinctively said “Kono Dio da!” when that happened because I was bored and that brought me back into the movie

[@STATUSTANK]

This whole video was just comedy gold, but the part of Lando laughing at 36:28 being drawn out just had me dead! You earned a subscriber with that one. I love your edits you throw in, it just works.

[@FallenDemonFly]

19:49 😂👌 did it for me