The Contradiction of Being Schizoid

[@JalenDS]

That’s a good point. The mere existence of our coping strategies can show the appearance of something being “off”. Another paradox ironically.

[@SchizoidVision]

Paradox is a good word :) It applies well.

[@morcjul]

I really liked the way you phrased it and felt very well represented. Thank you.

[@yoyok7504]

Another contradiction just came to my mind: I come here to this channel, and other resources for schizoids, to talk about disconnectedness. At the same time, I feel connection with other schizoids, and am grateful for you and others making this content. It's like the community is creating its own "world" where we can feel a part of, even though that world is contradictory in itself, lol

[@SchizoidVision]

Yeah, more contradictions 😊. The outsiders are connecting. In past years, before the internet we all lived in our own worlds, not knowing why we weren't like other people.

[@user-zb9qk3ml9r]

Seeking connection by proxy ( a compromise to deal with the dilemma)

[@martineldritch]

Thank you for your words, they really make me remember how I felt when I was younger. It was much more difficult then with all my Libran relational needs continually thwarted by my schizoid adaptations. Now that I'm an old geezer I can say that I really do feel like a part of THIS world but I do not feel an attachment or need to relate to THAT world. They are worlds apart.

[@SchizoidVision]

I think what you are saying makes sense. Thanks for sharing your experience over time.

[@SkrentyzMienty]

I appreciate you mentioning this. It's a big take to touch upon something so ineffable ("inexpressible", not giving the synonym condescendingly but because it's a pretty obsolete word and vocabulary-mining is simply one of my interests which I desperately hope won't disappear) as the idea of not being part of this world (in a core way). I cannot really elaborate on this well at the moment, but I think at the moment I want to say: it's okay. Also, we don't really abide by the norm (and are thus less constricted conceptually), so my "optimistic" idea is that, we don't have to diminish our detachment and inner world existence to build new connections to the outside - we can certainly become more fluid between the two spheres without sacrificing what we normally live as, and use it as fuel and nondepletable recharge. We make the terms of this. Wishing you the best

[@SchizoidVision]

Interesting perspective and food for thought.

[@yoyok7504]

Thanks so much for sharing! I sometimes get this really content feeling when I'm self sufficient, and find creative workarounds for problems where other people might go and ask for help. At other times, I just feel like something essential is "missing". Like, the whole point of being an social animal is to support one another to survive. But if I do that without help from the outside, what kind of "animal" am I? Not that it matters, but it's fuel for feelings of alienation... You mentioned "not being part of this world". I don't know how you feel about this, but I've come to realise that I AM indeed part of this world, for otherwise I wouldn't exist. But I think what we actually mean to say is "I am not part of society". Replacing the words helps me to keep perspective, and allows me to feel some sort of connectedness at least with nature itself

[@SchizoidVision]

You make a good point about not being 'part of society' rather than not being 'part of this world.' I think I used to be more connected to nature in a physical sense when I was a child, but as I get older it's more on a subjective level, like how things work scientifically. I make an effort to maintain a relationship with my physical body, and that helps me to keep in mind that I am a real person. Also connecting with people through this channel helps to give me a sense of interacting with the real world :)

[@LMTaylor_]

Thank you, Penzy, for this video. It made me tear up alot tbh. I really appreciate your channel. I'm happy you exist :)

[@SchizoidVision]

You're welcome :)

[@talkingpsychology]

A very helpful and insightful video. Thank you for making it! For what it is worth humankind is full of contradictions but most people overlook there discrepancies because of the pain associated with it and accepting those contradictions isn't an easy task so thank you for your endeavour.

[@SchizoidVision]

I agree that humankind is full of contradictions, because human psychology runs deeps and is very complex when we look beneath the surface.

[@miculp]

Hello there. I also had post in the Facebook group that you had create. I have signs of schizOtypal personality, which have lot s in common with schizoid, the main difference is that I don t want to be alone and in some stressfull social situations I can act very unusual. But I als have the same feeling that I am an alien trapped inside a cursed damned human body and I feel powerless and cursed. The point is ...when I look at most peoole I don t see interest in them because my motto is to try to reach and have wisdom and kindness like the gods. And I din t see this a human feature, these type of people are extremely rare and ...an abnormality. I can tolerate near me other people that I oerceiv them safe and I interact with them using machiavelism strategies. I detect what they like what beliefs they have I read good their body language and I can focuse in the things they like and impress them with that. Not involve emotional detachment of course. But I fully resonate with what you say and I don t see a contradiction. I want to have close friends that are superhumans , full of wisdom and kidness but I don t see them I din t find them so better alone that people that brings stress and problems.

[@SchizoidVision]

I can understand where you're coming from especially regarding the rarity of finding individuals who embody wisdom and kindness, on a level that we can resonate with. I think that when you have a lot of depth of thought, and are thinking outside of the box looking in, it's easy to see how people in mainstream society are majority-wise focused on superficial things. And it can be isolating when others are not on the same page as us. Over time, I've come to lower my expectations of the average person, but I would like to live in a better society.

[@don-eb3fj]

Wow, thank you Penzy. Beautifully expressed. To one adept at hearing between the lines, you've said much more than your words themselves convey, illustrating the point of contradiction exquisitely. Thank you for being so bold with your trust, it marks a courageous and inspiring step forward on a tightrope, both ends anchored in the unknown- don't look down, or back. RESPECT! "...be IN the world, but not OF the world." was one of my grandmother's most memorable expressions, and I suppose in many respects I was a natural student of the second half of her mantra; reinforcement by the incomprehensible and dissappointing behaviors of others made it seem impossible to execute the first part, and no instruction, clarification, or assistance were offered. By anyone. Self sufficiency of mind eventually led to self-isolation and a fierce self-reliance in reality, with the acquisition and pursuit of mastery of skills as a necessity to avoid the dissappointments, cheats, and insults inherent in dependence on others and to minimize the imprint of emotional turbulence they generate. Yet, something critical and elusive, undefinable, is missing; the "holy grail" of invincibility is cracked, and the libidinal elixir of life pours out onto the sand before the cup reaches my lips, scarcely a drop remaining for a parched tongue that eventually forgets how to salivate. The precious spilled drops dissappear , leaving man and terrain dry, collecting in silent wells deep within, obliging a life lived far beneath the surface to reach any refreshment, brackish as it may be. As technology evolves our cultures, the illusion of self-reliance becomes more alluring but more elusive- our black mirrors reflect the panoply of our small material and emotional desires, available with a click and a swipe and fast free delivery without the need to expose ourselves to the evaluation and inconvenience of another; and we forget the quiet surveillance of the machine and the machinations of its operators, grinning with relish as we slowly surrender our basic necessities of life to management by a rapidly consolidating field of "experts" who view us all through their own black mirrors as no more than faceless commodities and push OUR buttons with propaganda, false assurances, manufactured crises, and monetized scarcity. For one who looks deeply, the illusion has worn thin, exposing a paradox even deeper than the contradiction that lies beneath my schizoid persona- to achieve true self-reliance requires interdependent relationships with REAL people who understand and respect our differences and our common needs and interests. For me, this has become the only truth worth pursuing; perversely, as time and circumstances cement my autonomic defenses ever more firmly it becomes increasingly difficult to breathe the air or find water in the well, and my bunker seems more cryptlike, the exit sealed and long-forgotten. Young 'zoids take heed: use the knowledge available to you to build your emotional resiliency, address your buried grief, and work diligently to build relationships with trustworthy others who can understand your needs and recognize and value your strengths- those individuals are rare and difficult to find, but ultimately you are faced with a choice not of whether or not to trust, but WHOM to trust. My grandmother's second favorite mantra expresses my Anarchism and Hereticism, and our choice, very succinctly: "If you voted for one of them, you voted for ALL of them." Will we trust our autonomy to an aggregate soulless beaurocracy by default, or establish intentional relationships of reciprocal trust with those of our choosing who will honor it? The choice is yours, and mine. How can we best help each other overcome our encumbrances so we can make the best choices for ourselves and those who matter to us?

[@kinderblutsaufenderreptiloide]

You're a poet....

[@don-eb3fj]

@@kinderblutsaufenderreptiloide I occassionally find that the Muse has visited and left a few drops in the well, which seem to satisfy more when shared with others- Salutè.

[@SchizoidVision]

@don-eb3fj Don this comment is dynamite. Reading between the lines is certainly your speciality. You have a way of knocking the ball out of the ballpark. There's a lot of truth and richness in what you were saying, you portray the bigger picture of society very well. Thanks for sharing your insights from your Grandmother.

[@don-eb3fj]

@@SchizoidVision Thank you, and you are welcome. I would gladly share her homemade buttermilk biscuits and from-scratch banana pudding (nothing from a box but the vanilla wafers, and I sometimes beat the egg whites for the meringue topping myself), and souse😖, but those never stuck around long, thanks in no small part to yours truly🐷, and only the whisper of a memory remains. But I know of no place more fitting to share those than here, with these fellow outlanders, one of whom consistently leaves drops in the well and draws maps to help me find it in the dark depths- she's a damn good role model for batting practice too! , and I guess it's beginning to make a difference in my swing, and my ability to connect (with parts of myself, anyway). I currently have 4 related storylines in various stages of incompletion (in addition to the ettouffe on the back burner, which I fear may be a bit TOO spicy) and several more tugging at my sleeves- the most recent active one has really given me a mood lift: What do you get when you combine an aging eclectic Samurai, a Vampiress, a disenchanted nun from a faraway land (by way of Charon's yacht), a 7 year old opera tenor with a taste for Sex Pistols songs, a prepubescent aspiring tattoo artist, an impression-able toddler in harlequin footie pajamas, a teenage fairy princess, an old fat hippy in a tie-dyed toga, a herd of Centaurs, a retinue of tribal ancestors visiting from the stars, and a very large jar of excellent vintage, on one tiny island on the longest night of the year, and sprinkle it with the blessing from a helping handful of Goddesses? Hint: a theater mask and shepherd's crook make GREAT entertainment in the possession of an attention-seeking toddler in the spotlight of the heavens- I haven't laughed (or cried) so hard in YEARS! Who needs CBT? MEHHH! Thank you Penzy, it really does help.

[@SchizoidVision]

@@don-eb3fj Grandmas house sounds great.... and your creativity is very impressive 🌠

[@SchizoidAngst]

This is a familiar experience

[@poisonivory6017]

I personally feel alienated when I observe people around me and realize that their emotional reactions are real and aren't exaggerated or faked.

[@SchizoidVision]

I hear you. I find that fake people can be very jarring, especially when they are attention seeking, and try to trigger emotional responses from others.

[@joleahollyfield1464]

I am grateful for your videos. An observation I’ve made is that everything in this realm, this world is an illusion. Everything is ephemeral, nothing lasts, therefore nothing is “real”. The way to cope can be through being schizoid, but it’s just a box/a label. To me, being schizoid is a way of being in this simulation, this construct of duality that brings so much pain and trauma. I don’t have a DSM diagnosis but I identify with your description of how you survive and manifest outwardly here. It is a painful existence and others cannot ultimately be relied upon. Therefore, I can only rely upon myself. Still, one must treat the outside world with kindness when interaction is unavoidable.

[@SchizoidVision]

You're welcome. Thanks for this insighful comment, I relate to a lot of what you're saying here. I think that kindness is important as well, as it creates a better environment for us and for others when faced with social interaction.

[@GiorgioPagnoni]

Touching. Especially your last sentences about self-sufficiency and living fully. That really spoke to me.

[@vladimirmx8454]

Gracias por tus videos, son muy ilustrativos de nuestra condición del como vemos la vida. Saludos desde la Ciudad de México.

[@SchizoidVision]

De nada. Me complace que mi contenido haya sido de valor para usted.

[@e-t-y237]

"Part of the world but not part of the world" -- great point. I've called this "reaching up into the world from beneath it to take care of some matter, but not really being there, then returning to the catacombs." Please ... let me caution against characterizing the state as "human but not human," because the alienation of the condition is human -- very, very human. And that is vital to the humanizing winds of healing that can blow in.

[@SchizoidVision]

I like your description. I think it's the mainly the emotional dissociation that can cause feelings of not being entirely human. But yes we are fundamentally very much human.

[@e-t-y237]

@@SchizoidVision Just think that terminology like "empty core," "no self," and "not human" can add to a fatalism about being forever stuck, by actually adding weight and gravity to the predicament.

[@ChadKingOfficial]

The label schizoid really described me. I just don't care. All my emotions feel like static, a straight line with very small change. Even when I express strong emotions, I know deep down that I don't care; I feel very distant emotionally from others. Even when I found the label schizoid, I knew that it described me but I just didn't care.

[@RolandoRatas]

You make an interesting point. I've had some terrible attempts (successful or otherwise) of betrayal directed towards me (which I usually try to stop in its' tracks via avoidance or even confrontation) and I just brush it off and get over it quite quickly. And it doesn't affect me negatively directly in terms of coping / dealing with the aftermath i.e. I've never turned to drink or drugs in order to numb myself from the usual pain that these events usually affect 'normal people'.

[@MichaelMustermann-xn9ze]

Yes, it is liberating being more independent and not having to rely on others for support. Safer that way. But. Having others help you do a given task would enable you to achieve more. So, that holds you back. An example. My daughter's ex partner worked in the building industry and knew many other people from other trades. They would help each other out to do all kinds of building jobs in the house. Very cheaply. I, on the other hand, don't know any one so I will never have enough money to do any building work in my house. Another example. If ever I were to have a water leak in the house my solution is to turn off all the water. I don't know and I can't trust any (expensive) plumber to fix it. This could potentially go on for many months, even years. Independence yes. On the whole it is better, safer. But it is a hard price to pay.

[@SchizoidVision]

I agree that self sufficiency and playing it safe comes with a price. It's a double edged sword.

[@e-t-y237]

What do you think of instead of "being human and not being human at the same time," it is like "being authentic and not authentic at the same time?" Since the experience of alienation that characterizes zoidism is very much part of the human range of experience, I think the "not human" idea is not only counterproductive for healing and change but also inaccurate in this sense.

[@SchizoidVision]

I think this may fit for some people: ''it is like 'being authentic and not authentic at the same time.' When I say not human, I mean compared to how others function, like a different species of human, but yeah, this is my perception. I think there are different ways of viewing this phenomenon.

[@meetoobs]

Is this where schizoids and avoidant personalities can become blurred?

[@SchizoidVision]

It could be, schizoids have some avoidant traits.

[@e-t-y237]

Doesn't it start with detachment from the inner world, then detachment from others and the world as a secondary phenomenon? So therapy is about reconnecting to that inner space, the so-called empty core, where the self contains a vast array of fears, preferences, tendencies, attitudes, aptitudes, emotions, wounds, sensitivities ... far from empty, and the 'empty' terminology seems to undercut avenues of healing. As does the "not human' or 'no self' idea. If we think of "not part of society" instead of "not part of the world," again a fatalistic, nihilistic, further alienating perspective is avoided.

[@almam.6880]

3:33 "How can you be part of the world and not part of the world at the same time?" Isn't that what Jesus recommend? 😅 "be in the the world but not of it". Or something along those lines.

[@SchizoidVision]

With schizoidism it comes from existing in the physical world, but feeling detached from it. Yh, Jesus said something along those lines... which is very much open to interpretation.