The contradictions of ADHD

[@SweetyO666]

I see it as having one brain with two controls, but chip and dale are operating them 😂

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

Haha, like that, although I don't know who this is. But sounds like crazy cartoon-characters.

[@CraftingMissAika]

And one of them decided to vacation at the beach while the other one is taking time off at the mountains 🤣

[@codeN_8]

The accuracy...😢

[@martaradecka7176]

Hahaha that's so accurate! 😂😅

[@happytrails.]

​ @katzenbekloppt_mf They're some of the earlier Disney characters, a pair of chipmunks with opposing personalities, who as frequently fight each other as they cause mischief for others, and like to upset poor Donald Duck, if I recall correctly.

[@ouchpaw3518]

The “constantly being overstimulated” but also craving stimulation makes my life so much freaking harder. It’s always a constant battle to not freak out or lose my absolute mind because I’m bored to the bones

[@2st486]

"i can' tleave without reading the comments. just a few" "...jsut a few more..." aaand its 2am

[@a_921]

Yup, it's almost painful, isn't it? Like something eating at ones brain

[@westcoastbred7745]

Oh man. This!!!!

[@MaikoNelly]

I love this woman she represents us as a whole so well please protect her at absolutely all costs

[@stuartchapman5171]

I love the bravery, to be so honest and vulnerable. It's important but never easy.

[@ADHD_love]

You're very kind, thank you. 🥹 🙏

[@ADHD_love]

@@stuartchapman5171 Thank you so much! 🥹 🙏

[@Gesteppie]

"You hate structure, but cannot function without structure" That one hit me hard 😅

[@rowandoggo]

As an ADHD person, the calm in crisis thing is so real. Cant even remember how many times im surrounded by people freaking tf out with me saying "ok we need to do this, this, that, this, then call those people and tell them this thing RIGHT NOW, GO" like i go from being mildly competent at things to the most competent under pressure, then right back to normal after its done.... right back to "oh no, friend hasnt texted me in 2 days, she hates me!"

[@depleteduraniumcowboy3516]

Yeah. I've been in situations where people are flipping out and I am oddly calm. When all the other times I'm likely flipping out on the inside.

[@KB-tu4zw]

I think there is truth to this but when you develop comorbid anxiety as a result of ADHD there can be some inconsistency in the response. It is difficult to explain what I am saying here but it’s what I noticed in my own performance in a high stress related field with lives in my hands. I mean S would literally have to hit the fan with people melting down around me to get that response out of me. Otherwise, I find the anxiety can overwhelm my thought process.

[@woofbarkyap]

@@KB-tu4zwthat's a bit different - that's constant stress, which is no good for anybody and will eventually burn out the ND brain. The "good in a crisis" thing is more about minding your own business, walking along a road and suddenly there's a car crash or a bomb or something. The "normal" brain tends to shut down and gawp or panic and run away unless it's had specific training, whereas the ND brain snaps into action without thinking. Then spends the following week in bed.

[@Plethorality]

Try having autism and adhd. See what working against each other really looks like.

[@bluemeaford]

That’s why many ER nurses, ER doctors, Paramedics etc… have ADHD (am nurse so can confirm 🙂).

[@Inigo566]

I have an undiagnosed ADHD wife , someone who's not been comfortable with being ADHD, blaming all her traits on other things. I have been following you guys as a way to learn what she is going though and how I can help, obviously I relate to Richard prospective more. My wife's ADHD is a lot different from Roxanne but many characteristics are the same. So over the past months I've been telling her bits about you two and what I've noticed. Being careful how I approach it. Anyway good news today she for the first time admitted she may have ADHD and is going to look into getting tested and seeing someone about it Thank you guys for your book and videos and helping me help my wife ...

[@dingolay-v2b]

❤❤❤

[@raea3588]

I've never heard a better description of ADHD in one sentence: I've got two brains and they're working against each other. ❤

[@enduringbird]

Omg before I got diagnosed this was one of my biggest frustrations about myself that I could never understand. I just didn't fit into any sort of classification. I have trouble focusing but sometimes I focus so much I forget to eat or pee. I crave stimulation and new experiences but I get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily. I care so deeply about what people have to say but can't listen to them talk. The list could be infinite. It was so stressful not knowing why I was like that. It's nice to have an answer and know I'm not the only one.

[@bjelfin]

There are many of us out here.

[@neillrogers3604]

"yeah. And they are working against each other" I have never felt more seen 😅

[@serafilirose6685]

“Two brains and they’re working against each other.” My life, in eight words.

[@CraftingMissAika]

The pairing of this one and the short is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 "You've done that one" literally me talking to my screen when I saw the other version 😆🥰

[@2st486]

part of my brain is actually a kite. all it takes is a gentle breeze and i have to reel it in from miles away

[@GalaxyLoveA]

😂

[@oakesl5673]

Brilliant!

[@ADHD_love]

That's kind of poetic! 😍

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

Well, often thaught You could also be AuDHD. With a biiig stress on the ADHD, but again this "two brains working against each other" feels very much my AuDHD (with bigger stress on the autism for me).

[@Nashleyism]

Yes. The feeling of two brains working against each other can be also present with ADHD combined with childhood trauma I think

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

@@Nashleyism it's hard to imagine for myself. For me it feels I am very fine with my autism, but the ADHD feels like the annoyingly disturbing little brother of my best friend in childhood. And am absolutly tidy and always was.

[@LadywatchingByrd]

I'm trying to teach them to tag- team. I got misplaced in the woods the other day because I was daydreaming looking at mushrooms popping up everywhere.. then I lost my pocket knife looking at said 🍄.. then I got really overwhelmed because I was lost and I lost my knife and I was going to melt down but my ADHD 🧠 told my autistic 🧠 "we got this, don't worry" I kept my composure and found my way home. My autistic brain can do the planning and everything and my ADHD brain can do the fun stuff. I got to teach them to playoff of each other. ...and get a formal diagnosis 😁

[@julesdeacon1531]

Yup I came here to say this. Sounds so AuDHD - literally push/pull every moment

[@camiomilla]

It can be, but ADHD without autism, especially with comorbid anxiety disorders, can look like this too! I think there is a misconception that ADHD and autism are almost opposites and that all allistic ADHDers thrive in chaotic settings/ routines and need more stimulation almost always to function better, but this is not true. (Not saying that you have this misconception, it is just something that I see a lot that I have to get out of my chest haha). You see, ADHD makes so that low stimulus is distracting/ agitating because we don't have enough dopamine, but too much stimulus can be also distracting/ agitating because our brains are usually not that great to filter stimulus (unless we are in hyperfocus). Structure can feel like a prison and the same one can be painfully boring after a while, but at the same time, it can be needed to some ADHDers because executive dysfunctional can get horrible without structure.

[@trebledclef8123]

The fact that her hair is two different colours and split perfectly down the middle fits greatly with the "I have two brains constantly working against each other." I love your hair by the way!

[@ADHD_love]

I never thought of that! Brilliant. Thank you.

[@youdidntseeanything8589]

My son says "that's so me" 😂 Thank you for making this, so much of a no big deal when y'all talk about it

[@ADHD_love]

He is not alone, there are so many of us!! 🩵

[@youdidntseeanything8589]

@@ADHD_love 🫶 I cannot WAIT to show him that you responded, he'll be so excited!! Thank you so much 💜

[@BodgeupsAirsoft]

I love that you guys got put in my suggested videos. I've been subtly aware for years that I felt a bit different to everyone else around me, but could never put my finger on it. Then after watching several of your videos, it felt like a lightbulb moment of relateability. As if things started to make sense. Keep up the great work!

[@kathrynhegarty9576]

💯 I feel the same

[@canaan5337]

Wow that’s probably the best I’ve ever seen anyone explain what it’s like having ADHD, “two brains working against each other” is spot on.

[@bobiijae790]

That's the one thing about me that is different from a lot of other people with ADHD I love to clean and I'm really good at cleaning it's the only thing that really helps me settle down besides crocheting

[@TisOnlyAScratch]

I had to pause and rewind the video at certain moments because I didn't hear/read before the next point in the list came up (taking in all the details vs none). Love the two brains working against each other. Take each point and ask why. I think to sum it up, everything has to be "just right". There's a perfectionism element involved. We learn to work without it because we have to. It saves up our energy for when we CAN make something perfect. We use all our energy perfecting a system that we hope will work with our low energy days. When the system is done, we no longer have any energy to maintain it for a few days up to a few months (if ever).

[@goodxwolf]

This 💪🏻🏆✅

[@surlespasdondine]

Thank you for your channel! I've laughed and cried because of these videos. Roxy- most of the things that are symptoms of your ADHD are things I thought were normal - because I relate to each and everyone of them. Rethinkîng my whole life thanks to you. 💕

[@ADHD_love]

So happy we can help! 🙏 🩵

[@elinorawestfall]

Oh my days I love you even more for the Bowie shirt ❤️💙

[@daleearnshaw9087]

I now know who i am from these short vids.After over 50 yrs of self loathing and terrible struggles searching for the answer.THANK YOU from the bottom of my hart❤️

[@susanharris6959]

I was recently at the age of 53 diagnosed with ADHD and this video nails it!

[@zombieloveserte]

Wow, I haven’t ever been diagnosed with ADHD but, I related to every one of those. Especially the one about being calm in a crisis. Anytime something extremely stressful happens I zero in on the most logical path through it, then after it’s over that is when I stress alone. I have to keep my private stress away from my public calm.

[@Lily-kk1em]

Yall are so reletable, thank you! x

[@Soapy-chan]

the last part is the perfect explanation of this, I will remember that and use it

[@mattcup8541]

I came to the two brain theory a while back when trying to explain my adhd to others, there’s definitely something to it for sure.

[@Redorgreenful]

Yeah I have 14/15 of these. It’s hard to put them into words so thanks for making it so clear!

[@lorianabanana6066]

Ugh so true. I feel like my ADHD brain is activetly trying to sabatodge me. Like I have bad time blindness and construction is terrible right now, so I've been getting ready for work extra early and keeping my keys by the door so I don't have to look for them. The other day I was leaving early for work and was so focused on being on time that I left my keys inside in my don't-forget-me spot and locked myself outside the house. My fiance had already left for his shift so I had to have my dad drive my spare over so I was STILL late for work after trying so hard to be on time.

[@a_921]

I found that having little time to get ready helps, because then my autopilot kicks in and I don't think enough to mess up (my autopilot is insanely strong though, it can override "new" / different stuff that I need to do completely)

[@regentmad1037]

yeah and that last one is always the most depressing and hard to deal with.

[@Zwitterionique]

While I get the metaphor of having 2 brains that are working against each other, I'm afraid that those who don't understand ADHD will turn that into something like having an angel (neurotypical expectations) and a devil (disorder) on each shoulder. Such a metaphor implies choice, that all people with ADHD need to do is ignore the disorder and be "good." 😣 Oh, how I wish it were that simple!

[@woofbarkyap]

That sounds like there are two brains separate from the person, who is having to deal with them both but that's not what she said. ADHD is like two brains, both of whom represent the person, both of which are the person, but which have contradictory needs. There is no other person.

[@OneyhayAdgerbay]

I agree with you totally! The implication that we somehow have a choice how our day goes is truly frustrating and makes me feel incompetent 😢

[@2st486]

well, after we die we are cast back regardless we wish it or not.

[@lotta_b]

love it! and its sooooo trueeee!!! (i have ADHD)❤❤

[@jessicahenry8543]

OMG! ❤❤× infinite Rox the struggles are real and I tell my fiance it's hard to be me sometimes. My Grandmother use to call me a bull in a China shop. I don't mean to knock things over and sometimes my short cut methods take twice as long as i than if i were to just do a thing a normal way...and What i love about you guys most is you do both sides typical/ non typical way and you show the struggle and what helps from the other partner I read or audiobooked small talk and I love it so much. It's funny be i have horrible vision i hate dimly lit rooms bc well blind with out contacts or glasses and I just feel I can see better while doing things. I REALLY dislike the sound of trains and one of my biggest hyper focused is learning about adhd.

[@saikrishnasurapuram9212]

My ADHD brain stopped listening after 9 and realised at 15 😂😂😢

[@Clove-jc2gb5ju3g]

This is so accurate🙏🏼❤️

[@skinwolf]

Holy shit! Honestly, Every single word you just said!! 😩

[@JKThom-59]

Loved the back and forth volley of symptoms. 😂

[@crazyluke]

My favorite so far! Great one 👌

[@multiskype]

nah, that's just me being AuDHD

[@stuartchapman5171]

Ive got a third ASD brain, its like cognitive armagedon in my head sometimes. The wilder part of ADHD used to win most times. Go do something adrenaline fuelled (often self destructive). Now I realise, Im able to allow the ASD to rise up. Go for the soft lights, solitude. Film. Maybe an ambient sound experiment. In that moment it feels counter intuative. But I know its the best thing for everyone. Hours later, all of my brain is greatfull.

[@LadywatchingByrd]

I have to let my autistic brain have a say .. my ADHD brain has been bullying it for..decades..😢 bc it's "weird and alien and sensitive " I've been finding that letting her have her way and learning to tell the ADHD side to shut the eff up and I shall do something to appease it later...really helps.

[@stuartchapman5171]

@@LadywatchingByrd sounds like a tactic. Bribery and deferred gratification. Homework first, jam later.

[@sarahs.6377]

Inside you, there are two wolves. Both are tired and need a nap.

[@Delenne_Russell]

As a song known where I am reminds us, wolves don't play by the rules. NT rules I think.

[@marajones1828]

I mean...I literally have two brains Autism and Adhd and you remind me a lot like myself! My fiance and I both are Audhd, he's just a bit more heavy on the autism, I'm a bit more heavy on the adhd it seems sometimes. But the best part is we balance each other out! My strengths are his weaknesses and his weakness are my strengths! But yeah, that constant battle of twi brain feeling...yeah that was Audhd for me :)

[@Michael.Chapman]

Did you guys seek treatment? Wish you both well :-)

[@marajones1828]

@@Michael.Chapman I mean, he grew up diagnosed so he's already had treatment throughout his whole childhood. He also grew up in a loving home so he's very confident in himself Audhd-wise. Me on the other hand, I just got diagnosed months ago at the age of 26 and grew up in an abusive household where I was beaten into masking all my Audhd traits. So I am currently seeking treatment. My treatment consists of getting Adderall for the Adhd and therapy to help unravel the trauma that is holding me back from living in my full Audhd self without the shame/guilt/ptsd.

[@Lauren-perfectpout21xo]

❤❤❤❤❤❤ this! So TRUE. 😊

[@leighwaters7123]

This is my wife through and through. Was through your channel and Instagram that she pushed for an ADHD assessment.

[@M13C7]

I dont relate to all but to many as an autistic with ADHD i live the contradictions

[@louisedeeney4174]

WOW!!! So true!!

[@sarahmanzo4761]

Love this, it like listening to a rap song,..add some music to it, and you'll have a hit!

[@doofboytim]

Completely true.

[@JovanLemon]

me when i want to get tested (i relate with almost all of this) but just cant go and actually do it for some reason

[@jhuang81]

This is the truest thing ever!!!

[@surlespasdondine]

Sieep has always been a struggle, I try to tell people my brain won't let me sleep.

[@Rutley7]

I think you did this video before with most of the same dialogue, but anyhow it's nice, I appreciate it. I remember thinking that it's like my brain rebels against learning, and this picks up the thread of thought.

[@TheBanana93]

Hyper focus is so real haha spent 4 hrs deep diving into UAPs and Aliens last night before I knew it was 3am!

[@deevineinterventions]

Far too relatable it almost made me want to cry dammit!

[@rebacarter7461]

Same to all. HEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Housing inspections but it's really difficult because they always put things in the wrong spots but I try my best not to get upset because they are helping me after all. I just go back through and find the things that need to be moved 😅😅😅😅😅

[@LordBrittish]

My two brains aren’t *always* working against each other, I’ll give them that.

[@crowkraehenfrau2604]

Yeah ...sometimes it's teamwork

[@Varenyam86]

Sounds like AuDHD. Perhaps youve got the 'tism too Rox!

[@lisastenzel5713]

Wow.... it's really hard to imagine that. Two brains working again each other must be so bad. I started wondering...is there a spectrum inside the ADHD spectrum? Like...can someone have a milder form of it? Or is it just that they have different symptoms? And not all at once?

[@kathrynhegarty9576]

Thank you, Roxy and Richard you saved me. Somebody hears me

[@Jay-ql4gp]

Facts!

[@travkenn1019]

This is so me I almost cried

[@flack3]

that hit close to home

[@Haley.W.927]

💜💜💜

[@solar_thetwinky]

Calm in crisis made EMS my dream career. ❤ use those superpowers!

[@OneArmASMR]

The way I related to the majority of these 😮😅

[@barbaralawrence6226]

LOVE you both SO much! Yes to every one of these and more. These videos are so helpful in validating the fact that this is how I am and it's okay. I've told therapists for decades that I feel like there's two different brains inside of me in constant conflict with each other. Just got diagnosed with ADHD this year at age 63. Turns out I was misdiagnosed with BPD and taking psych meds I didn't need for 22 years. I also recently learned there's 100% probability I have high-masking autism as well, which explains a lot! 🫠 Thanks for all you do in bringing awareness and helping to ease the stigma of being different. 🙋‍♀️💖

[@WildpixFPV]

My two brains after watching this: One is laughing, the other one is crying ( ..a bit, I learn to accept myself more and more!) I hyperfocused, got overexcited and then overwhelmed.. it's the ADHD love magic in there 😂

[@bradleyhighett-sv6wu]

Sooo so good to know I'm perfect 👍

[@missmarthafawker]

Thats what autism with adhd3 feels like. However for myself i have found that if i step back and realise im not clwaning my cloths up i ask why…… then i answer myself and that starts the root to a new every day gentle general routine. I find that doing stuff like this helps my brain to balance. Once my brain is balanced its easier to navigate. It doesn’t mean there aren’t cloths and a small bin on my cloths hamper right now. Or on the dresser across from me. Ive come to an understanding that tables are ibnu’s…… but my bathroom floor is “clean” not swept or mopped. But acceptable. And for me this leads to doing more, and then creating more of the pattern instructions, blueprint on how to do things for my. Rain to follow. In essence I’ve built more shelving for my brain where i can put more stuff but….. the better balance my brain is in…… the more the stuff stays on the shelf with out falling off or getting lost of that makes sense. And at fifty two indo find it gets easier as we age. But we have to keep learning and doing.

[@autumnpendergast9151]

Highly self critical and spirals when people criticise the things you are most critical about.

[@mvdstroom]

15 out of 15! What do I win? 🏆✨

[@smugandsmarmy]

💙💚

[@Wunjo-Wunjo]

Yep, I know that feeling.

[@clairefitzpatrick7183]

Oh snap 😮

[@PhoenixVic21]

There are things like this that make me wonder but you also made the "you don't have ADHD" video and like...how and why am I both? The spectrum is so weird. It is learning to deal with myself 😅

[@alleaufihreposition]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@avalinah]

I cant believe how real this is 😂

[@joshdaymusiced]

Oh my goodness. I knew I had ADHD but I wasn’t expecting to relate to every one of the fifteen things listed. Well. Fourteen.

[@chuckin_eh]

I'm pretty sure this is just part of the human experience; we are all walking, talking contradictions. This was a good list of them, but many just seem like her own unique personality traits rather than a broad brush that all ADHD folks should be painted with. As someone with the same diagnosis and a related prescription, I do feel like you guys tend to exaggerate just how uniquely "ADHD" some of the topics of your videos really are. Not every lost item, fleeting feeling, or silly action can/should be attributed to the ADHD, just because she has that label. In my humble opinion, of course.

[@Michael.Chapman]

Am in the same boat as you and like your insights.

[@amyrobe3744]

Amen

[@tfarbes]

I stapled my thumb in high school a long time ago and I didn’t freak out 😮😮😮😮😮😮

[@Ezmir_Orsini]

As someone with ADHD I can't relate to most of these however most of them seem to describe my autistic friends to the T.

[@poo66151]

I just found a new way to describe my ADHD.

[@Michael.Chapman]

All true--see a specialist psychiatrist for accurate assessment, diagnosis and appropriate treatment.

[@mizbubba9673]

All of this…🤯🤯

[@jenniferhizzy6591]

All true.

[@Tammyux]

All me, except for interrupting people.

[@TheMidnightBandit]

I mean yeah, these videos make it apparent that I'm terrible at everything, but as a 34 year old man, struggling to even find the motivation to live, it's not like I'm going to get any help with this. Finding a woman that would put up with my BS let alone try to help is like winning the lottery, twice.

[@Katriella.]

Trying to figure out if i have depression & anxiety (actually diagnosed) or if it's results of undiagnosed ADHD 😢 Or yanno, cormorbid But yeaj ive been sitting around doing nothing when yesterday ive probably done the most ive done in a day these past weeks

[@TheQueensWish]

I bought loads of shoes today! Six pairs. Yet I only have 2 feet?? Scratching my two brains. 🧠🧠

[@Lady8D]

My life in a nutshell this

[@GeistInTheMachine]

Yes. Bingo.

[@dkg_gdk]

If Im bored I will be getting up to go pee many many times but when Im hyper focused I will forget to go to the bathroom and even when it hurts I wont go until the very last second.

[@KainosJoyPodcast]

Another relatable video 💯 % its almost frightening lol 😂 however Is there a theory out there that ADHD can actually be a gift? Neurodiversity needs to be recognized in society and not stigmatized.

[@crowkraehenfrau2604]

They have a video...or several where Rich says why he loves her... :-)

[@ancypaul3149]

My family always rely on me when there is crisis😂 But at home in peace time they dread me because I m the chaos ADHD

[@julyb2]

My friend used to say I get Speed Spurts

[@Dist0rtion1]

Literally me

[@depleteduraniumcowboy3516]

yup.

[@ScarletAxetia]

Goodness, so many are me yeah 😵‍💫 fortunately i am not easily overstimulated at least

[@jithinlakshman9605]

I think we are born in different place. We made of same material. Something more in me I hate reading introductions too much empathy, sometimes behave like I’m doing a movie role. Thank you for sharing your adhd videos.