The dangers of self diagnosing? Mental Health & the Internet | Khadija Mbowe

[@crystalrose043]

Thank you for bringing up the specific stigmas against personality disorders and more severe ones!! I feel like there is still so much stigma against people with schizophrenia, bpd, apd, etc. Destigmatizing mental health issues means destigmatizing ALL mental health issues, not just anxiety and depression

[@crystalrose043]

I also feel like it is so important to be more empathetic to those with more severe symptoms because they are often at most risk for negative things (homelessness, addiction, less support, isolation, etc.) we need to help all of us (neurodivergent people), not just some of us

[@fedweezy4976]

​@@crystalrose043 i understand your point, but i also feel like its hard to hold them accountable while also being empathetic to the issues their disorders can cause. How can i be empathetic to someones borderline personality disorder while that same disorder can be the reason why im their emotional punching bag when they have emotional outbursts? I just feel as though it can be hard to have compassion for the other person while im actively being hurt by them.

[@megapiglatin2574]

@@fedweezy4976 I think the key there is a mix of two things: boundaries for when it is someone you want to keep in your life, and stepping away from the relationship if it’s someone you don’t. If you don’t want that person in your life because they are hurting you-whatever the cause-you don’t have to keep them in your life! Protecting and caring for yourself does not mean you lack compassion, and it does not mean you have to be judgmental toward others. In those cases, I think you can show compassion by accepting that is how the person is-you can try to understand why they are that way (and how they may be suffering) without making them, and anyone else who reminds you of them, into a monster. Let me try and give an example: Say someone in your life is suffering with narcissistic PD. You can avoid a relationship with that person while still having compassion for them by changing how you view their actions: it isn’t that they are inherently a bad person, but rather that certain circumstances in life led them to develop a series of highly detrimental defense mechanisms. You can also show compassion for that person in the way that you later speak about your experience with them, and by avoiding using terms like “narcissist” to immediately write off/discount people who are doing something you view as problematic/hurtful.

[@megapiglatin2574]

🙌🙌🙌

[@trina8255]

@@fedweezy4976 Tbh I agree with you about BPD. I understand that not everything is in their control, but I personally will not date someone with BPD unless they are actively in therapy learning how to manage it. Untreated, it's honestly a nightmare to deal with. No one asks to be BPD, I know, but I can have compassion for them without being around what I consider to be toxic behaviors. That's a disorder that seriously needs therapy.

[@sushiroll3795]

As a professionally diagnosed autistic dude, I feel like a lot of the time, people just treat accusations of self-diagnosis as a socially acceptable way to bully autistic people who they consider "cringe." It seriously bothers me. I also don't get why people are so paranoid about "self-diagnosers" in the first place. Like, if somebody feels at home in autistic communities and it helps them feel less alone, then I really couldn't give less of a shit whether they have a paper that shows if they're autistic or not. People should really stop blaming random teenagers on the internet who just want to find somewhere they belong, and they should start blaming our god-awful medical systems that're making pursuing an official diagnosis such a massive headache in the first place.

[@missvioletnightchild2515]

Also professionally diagnosed autistic here and I fully agree! I'm self-diagnosed with ADHD because I'm on a 3-year waiting list for formal diagnosis and I'm in my mid 40s. I was self-diagnosed as autistic for years before I got my medical diagnosis, and guess what: I was right about it. clearly. I also love that the conversations around autism and ADHD are finally more open, because like many of us, I fully believe that both conditions are massively under-diagnosed and we make up a much larger percentage of the population than previously thought

[@user74027nh]

Also a professionally diagnosed autistic dude, and I've never understood why people rally so hard against self diagnosis. -It's prohibitively expensive for many -Resources for autistic adults are practically non-existent anyway -Our society is ableist as hell, no matter how much people want to claim autism is a "superpower". Even with a diagnosis it can be hard to get accomodations

[@VermisTerrae]

Not to mention that people somehow imagine there being CLOUT for being autistic?? Like buddy, I WISH being autistic was trendy and fun and people were extra nice to you for it. The "attention" that we get for being autistic is not positive or nice, lmao. It's just bullying. If we're lucky, then we get welcomed into autistic spaces with open arms and have a place to belong. And if that person isn't autistic after all? Zero harm done, that person just found a community they feel at home in.

[@Ia_catI]

My psychologist literally told me that he does not believe in diagnosis and rather goes with what his patient thinks is up. (Also misdiagnosis by professionals is a big and awful thing that happens quite frequently and is actually quite counterproductive.) Like a professional will tell you that a lot of the time you will probably know yourself best even if you can’t quite yet put a name to it. The „no self diagnosis“ rule is literally just for people who are just getting into psychology and are still currently at the „peak of mount stupid“ phase of the Dunning-Kruger effect. After that it’s actually quite viable. So yeah they are literally just saying that to „bully“ people most of the time even if they themselves don’t realise their intentions are skewed. (But - there are cases where the rule does apply so let’s not in turn bully everyone who uses the phrase.) I just wish people would differentiate and properly understand a topic before opening their mouth. Because, yes, it actually causes harm But of course we don’t want to believe that if it’s us causing the harm. It’s always the others. So yeah, I think you’re right. That’s literally it.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

This, plus the entire reason I even thought I might have adhd was the tumblr posts and "if you do this a lot you may have adhd" videos. I related to all of them way too much, and it gave me lists of symptoms that aren't "6 year old boy who can't sit still and is disruptive in class". I would have never realised that all the things I struggle with so much were adhd symptoms if I hadn't seen those posts.

[@RapsandRiffs]

Sometimes a misdiagnosis from medical professionals can be more harmful than a self diagnosis. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia even though I don’t have auditory or visual hallucinations. My bipolar medication caused me to lose my inner monologue. This happened while being on scheduled injections I was asked to leave a coffee shop (the hospital was called) for reading a book out loud because I couldn’t read otherwise. The doctors believed I was speaking to imaginary people, when in fact, losing the inner monologue was a side affect of the medication was taking.

[@PlurCo]

This is soo true!

[@CinemaPats]

But also, not all people who experience schizophrenia suffer from audio or visual hallucinations. Some people have schizophrenia and never hallucinate.

[@RapsandRiffs]

@@CinemaPats idk maybe I have it then I have a new self diagnosis….it was just weird cuz I got hospitalized at that time and they asked me every morning if I was “still hearing and seeing things”

[@urih7856]

@@CinemaPatshow can it be so, aren’t hallucinations the specific criteria that characterises schizophrenia (among dissociations and negative symptoms etc)?? i’ve only just begun studying the dsm-5 in my course.

[@Thaelyn1312]

I wish this had been brought up in the video, cuz damn straight. I've been misdiagnosed a lot, in fact I would dare say it's par for the course while you're on the road to get the actual diagnosis you need.

[@orchidchild577]

as someone getting their phd in psychology and will be a psychologist able to diagnose people with mental disorders, I personally do not have an issue with self-diagnosis. as a black woman, I understand the barriers that arise with trying to get access to mental health care and a diagnosis. diagnosis can be affirming for people because they are able to put a name to the symptoms they feel they are experiencing. HOWEVER, I think nothing can replace receiving a diagnosis from someone who is an expert and qualified to do so. you can feel very strongly about having a certain diagnosis and you may be correct, but you can also be incorrect. having an incorrect diagnosis can DELAY getting the proper treatment needed because that's the primary function of a diagnosis--- to inform treatment options. I see the utility of a self-diagnosis, but it's not a replacement and I will strongly encourage everyone to seek a professional if they are in the position to do so. edit to add: i forgot to mention that practitioner biases are a major contributor to misdiagnosis/underdiagnosis. there is a lot of research supporting this! the mental health field/psychology is a growing science. myself and my fellow colleagues are actively working toward inclusive and culturally responsive practices! we need more professionals of color, neurodivergent professionals, etc.

[@Evelyn-pl3we]

This comment!!

[@TBNOLA]

Yoooooo! I feel you as a fellow phd student in psych. A lot of what I am seeing is scary af.

[@TBNOLA]

Also, people "buy" a diagnosis. Psychs are people, which means they are open to corruption just like anyone else.....and sadly for those who don't give a shit and only care about money they will say whatever someone with the cash wants.

[@vvitch-mist20]

I found out I have Dyscalculia and Aphantasia. My dyscalculia went undiagnosed until my adulthood and I figured out there was indeed something wrong. I'm a writer and I was trying to figure out why I couldn't visualize "properly" anymore, and it turns out I can't visualize at all anymore. I have no idea how I would get an official diagnosis for the Aphantasia as it just got named in 2015, and I could probably easily get an official diagnosis for the dyscalculia, but like I'm an adult so idk if it matters.

[@sleepysystem]

i’m going to put this very simply as someone who has been retraumatized and mistreated in the osychiatric system: i hope you realize that diagnoses can remove people’s freedom (literally autism being able to obstruct you from getting a license in the u.s.) which is dangerous as fuck if they’re being abused (which mentally ill and neurodivergent ppl frequently are). i hope you realize that you have the power to fuck someone’s life up something awful in that job. you can make it so they lose their medicaid, you can put them in institutions which are known for their high rates of sexual violence against patients (and frankly the majority are no better than prisons espec in low income areas) and you can say and do things in that office that permanently traumatize them. you are in school aiming toward dealing with deeply vulnerable people, please keep that in mind. you are going to hold a lot of power in that job, and you need to be so extremely careful about it and not carry the mindset of you being infallible bc you got a degree, bc you are human and your biases do not disappear when you become a “professional”. you can ruin someone’s life. you hold power. you are not a superhero you are a real life human being who can hurt others with how you behave, and they’re going into that office hoping to trust you to help them take on their issues. take on that reality and act accordingly: listen to your patient, question your motivations,, check your biases best you can, and do not act carelessly. you are dealing with vulnerable people who come there bc they want help, please respect that and respect them and do not mistreat them.

[@lilymulligan8180]

I'll just put this out there about self-diagnosis: I've been in therapy for like half my life, due to debilitating perfectionism and issues with focus. When I first learned about ADD/ADHD in high school (~2008) I could have sworn I had it. No therapist ever suggested it, though - in fact none of my therapists ever diagnosed me with anything. When I started seeing my most recent therapist at age 30, I brought up pretty much every session that I thought I had ADHD. By now, I'd been diagnosed with depression by a doctor and was on Wellbutrin since it's prescribed off-label for ADHD, and it helped for sure. One day, my therapist asked me, "have you ever looked into OCD?" And I was like 😐 I never had, because I don't fit the OCD stereotype. I'm not germaphobic, I don't touch light switches 3 times, etc. So I was pretty confused how my therapist came up with this one. I went home and Googled OCD and learned a lot more about it... And started to agree with my therapist that I had it. We "made it official" lol, and I started doing OCD therapy, and IT CHANGED MY LIFE. Finally, after 10+ years of therapy, we were actually getting to the core of my issues!! My therapist said I may still have ADHD, or maybe a subclinical level of it. But the thing is, I'd already built so much support in my life for my ADHD side that I didn't really feel like I needed to go down that road any further. The OCD treatment is what made the difference in getting me all the way "better." So yeah, on the one hand - good treatment starts with good diagnosis. If you don't know what the issue is, you can't treat it properly. On the other hand - if tips & tricks for people with a certain diagnosis help you, then feel free to do those things, with or without a diagnosis of your own.

[@karoliinalehtinen6701]

If ADHD meds (specifically if they are stimulants, I don't know the label of that medication since we have different labels in Finland) help you, it's very likely you have ADHD since they have pretty opposite effect on non-ADHD people.

[@lilhonor5425]

I was diagnosed with OCD after a similar experience where a therapist brought it up to me. I think the range of OCD symptoms is not always acknowledged.

[@kbucket]

I never knew this until i was older but apparently ADHD and OCD very often go together.

[@squirrelsinmykoolaid]

​@@karoliinalehtinen6701Wellbutrin isn't a stimulant

[@sheepaleepz]

oh totally feel you on that. i was lucky enough to get unofficially diagnosed with OCD during the pandemic and my junior year of high school (cuz isolation REALLY exacerbated my symptoms. enough where i finally realized i needed a therapist). but i mentioned to my therapist that i was talking to some acquaintances in an instagram groupchat, and they were talking about their experiences with OCD. and i related to pretty much everything they were saying, and so i did some research. but i didn't have the stereotypical compulsions either, so i figured i didn't have it. and then my therapist was like "i was actually considering OCD". and i was like. mind blown. turns out i got Pure O which means that nearly all my compulsions are mental and/or minimal enough that they go unnoticed by most people. including myself! and so we started doing exposure response prevention and it helped SOOOO much i've been waffling between autism and ADHD as well, since there's a lotta comorbidity there. i don't know if i'll seek a formal diagnosis cuz it can come with a lot of. baggage. and im also black and afab and at a glance pretty sociable. so i'm a bit wary haha. BUT. i'm glad you were able to get some answers!!! learning i had OCD was a MASSIVE aha moment. i thought i had only been dealing with it since i was like 12 but it turned out i've had issues with it since i was like, 5. it's crazy

[@lunakat__]

i self-diagnosed myself as autistic for 5 years before i saved up enough to get a private diagnosis with someone who yook me seriously. in those 5 years i was told that it was pointless to get an adult diagnosis, that i was allegedly taking all the medications that could help me anyway, and that i'd missed the cutoff for behavioral interventions as a kid. the medications were actually not helping me, though. and diagnosis actually helped me understand a lot of things i couldn't understand before, as well as giving me the validation and alleviating a lot (not all) of my imposter syndrome. i'm now fighting to be taken seriously about physical issues i'm having and just getting the run around. the fact that people see all of us "self-diagnosing" and get mad at us for it and not the US medical system for being expensive and inaccessible blows my mind constantly.

[@PlurCo]

🫂

[@tman4611]

As someone who is in the process of diagnosis, im curious, how did the diagnosis help you?

[@margicates553]

Yesss!!!

[@Silenceeify]

Why would you get a diagnosis if you already get a proper treatment? That's the whole point of diagnosis - to get treatment

[@margicates553]

@@Silenceeify because with a diagnosis you can qualify for more support, like Occupational Therapy, double time on tests or audio support.

[@abrenn]

The thing is, is that you can't tell when someone is self-diagnosing after a single tiktok and when they're self-diagnosing over years of reading up and listening to the experiences of others. And while professionals are more qualified to diagnose people, they still have biases that skew their assessments. Editing to say: If someone can’t self diagnose off from one video, you can’t tell if they’re faking it or not off from one video. People who self diagnose aren’t necessarily looking for a specific thing, they’re just looking for answers. And as I’ve stated in a comment below: when I say biases, I mean shit like racism and misogyny. Things that are very well documented in the medical field. Why would they suddenly not be a problem in the mental field?? Those types of biases mean that professionals do not in fact have an outside view of things and it often leads to misdiagnosing, which can and does lead to treatments that make things worse.

[@PlurCo]

This!

[@bigelowkaryn]

Yes, I was tested as a child and was not tested positive. I’ve know since I was probably 13-15 years old. I just got diagnosed at 34. I’ve known it for a long time, and didn’t have the money to get tested. But I was constantly invalidated because I didn’t have a diagnosis. To some extent, I think we need to trust that people know themselves especially when it’s the populations who aren’t typically studied

[@theanimerapper6351]

The tiktok self diagnosing people have definitely pushed back the mental health conversation by 20 years

[@bighormsheep]

this is laughably untrue. mental illness has been normalized and destigmatized so much in the last 20 years, as well as research and treatment fields expanding as well. self diagnosis is an incredibly valuable tool. it's much better for more people to be talking about mental health than less, i can't even imagine how many people would never have gotten treatment or an accurate diagnosis if it weren't for the internet

[@abrenn]

@@bighormsheep I am firmly on the side of self-diagnosis is valid!! When I said professionals have biases, I mean shit like racism and misogyny lol not biases against the disorders (which respectfully I do disagree about that but I’m not looking for that type of conversation rn). Racism and misogyny are reasons why people have to self-diagnose because they either aren’t taken seriously or are misdiagnosed. I’ve heard about black children being diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder only to realize later on they’re actually just autistic, the same for women but with social anxiety or bipolar.

[@II-jz1zo]

The lack of healthcare is so real. I got diagnosed with adhd at 18 and still invalidate myself or feel invalidated over it, especially being afab and trying to mask my symptoms. I only got diagnosed after a second suicide attempt had me in a residential mental health program where I met with a psychiatrist and therapist every week. When I was 16 or 17, I noticed that I had a lot of similar symptoms to my friends with adhd and people talking about the symptoms online and I brought up to my mom that I was interested in seeing if I had adhd. She was very convinced that I did not and didn’t even hear me out, comparing me to her brother who had more stereotypical symptoms. Later, I had a therapist say that I should get a diagnosis because she was pretty sure I had it. When I brought it up to the psychiatrist with my mom, he said I probably didn’t have and and even if I did, he wouldn’t give me adhd medication because he said it would make my anxiety worse, despite the fact that a lot of my anxiety comes from my executive dysfunction. It has been incredibly validating to realize how many of the things I struggle with my whole life weren’t just moral failings or laziness, but undiagnosed adhd. The biggest struggle is that it’s so difficult to get a psychiatrist who takes insurance. I’ve been out of treatment programs for a few months and I still haven’t been able to start with a psychiatrist due to lack of availability or affordability. I’ve called so many and it’s been really difficult and it’s made more difficult by my adhd and other diagnoses getting in the way of me keeping up with it. And I know for a fact I am very privileged to have access to mental healthcare at all. The mental health crisis is a huge failing of the American healthcare system and it is costing the lives of so many.

[@brookecorry4827]

That psychiatrist’s reasoning about not investigating whether you have ADHD because they felt ADHD meds wouldn’t be compatible with you is so off-base. Getting diagnosed with ADHD is not just about going on meds, it’s getting a framework to understand how you interact and function in the world. It’s getting access to coping strategies because this world isn’t made for the neurodivergent. It’s beginning to understand that you aren’t struggling due to a moral failing, but instead because we are wired differently and that’s ok once we can learn how to navigate our lives using all the amazing things our ADHD brains give us. For me, getting diagnosed with ADHD was initially about getting access to testing accommodations, so that I wouldn’t be so disadvantaged in my classes. It worked and I excelled in my classes once I had those accommodations. Then later it was learning about all the different ways that ADHD affects me that I’d never realized before, and had just been blaming myself for not working hard enough when I was working overtime to keep it all together. I’ve had my diagnosis for over 10 years at this point and I have never once gotten a prescription for ADHD meds. I’m not against their use, they can be absolutely necessary for some people and situations, but to make it seem like that’s the only reason to get diagnosed really shows how incompetent that psychiatrist was.

[@manic_girl]

I feel this so deeply, I was diagnosed at 19. Also AFAB, it presents in us differently and we’re also taught to mask to conform to social standards. It was never a moral failing, it was a diagnosable disorder ❤

[@julias5980]

AFAB too, and so many of us aren't diagnosed until WELL into adulthood because the diagnostic criteria for neurodevelopmental disorders are based on how they present in little boys. I work in autism research and I can talk someone through my data showing differential expression in females and males until I'm blue in the face, and half the time they'll still shrug and say, autism is a male disorder. The females must just have anxiety. No need to include girls in this study. The attitudes are changing, but nowhere near fast enough. I'm sorry you had to go through such painful experiences to get a proper diagnosis.

[@cardiiiiii]

what

[@dia5131]

yupppp when I was prescribed medication for my ADHD, after a whole session of me bawling my eyes out and practically begging to have my struggles be taken seriously, my doctor said to me "I thought you would be happy, this is what you wanted" like I wanted to be drugged up or something! I want a way to be able live!!! To be able to function as a human being!!!!!

[@katfromdenver]

As a former therapist, my issue with the obsession with self-diagnosis is that we begin to pathologize EVERYTHING. Like, it's okay to just have a personality. You might just have quirks and preferences; it's really most likely not a disorder (unless it interferes with your ability to function). And I think the danger of this is it helps crystalize an individual model of disability and takes us further from a social model of disability, ie something is wrong with you vs. we as a society should accept and accommodate a wide variety of needs and presentations.

[@mizzlarabee]

As a current non-pathologizing therapist, 💯 yes. Clients are bringing so much therapy speak into sessions and it can make it so challenging to try to connect to the person behind all of that.

[@ursamonroe852]

Yes like especially with social media. Its what i find frustrating about ADHD influencers and the pseudoscience they often peddle. I realized i was autistic bc of self diagnosis a decade ago, did a preliminary assessment last month that said that i likely was and am now on a waitlist to be assessed. Got diagnosed w adhd in like 2018? Bc i brought up how i might have adhd w my psychiatrist. And like the way that influencers talk about adhd now online is infinitely worse than it used to be and even worse than it was a decade away w my little autistic friend group online. Bc a lot of them pushed against pathologizing things

[@BooksRebound]

THANK YOU. It's that part. It feels like these days culture has a need to label and categorize every little thing down to the most minute differences, and it seems like that urge is now being applied in the medical space with people pathologizing every idiosyncrasy a person has.

[@kimnoir]

the root of the problem is that people love boxes or categories. i suppose it's because they're more familiar and less complicated than everyday life? kind of like aesthetics.

[@cynaracypreste]

@katfromdenver and, just out of curiosity, what is your opinion on the points brought up by comment above (the one next to most liked in this comment section)? it's quite interesting how the two most liked comments represent some very oppositional perspectives on the subject.

[@heffawtf150]

Im black & have a highly stigmatized disorder and I was dxed young. Ppl think dx is the goal but it’s a double edged sword. Some HCW & even MHP biases are so strong, it actively prevents you from getting **any care** . And I mean once they read your chart, it’s like a switch flips. Some doctors will blame any problem you have on MH. They just stop thinking & refuse to treat you bc they think it’s psychosomatic. Some HCWs/MHPs will treat you like a demon or a wild animal, barking orders or talking to you like you can’t understand them. I now don’t put any MH dx on medical records. It’s a lot easier to get healthcare when HCWs just think you’re a bit weird.

[@bougedela8643]

I'm so sorry you went through this. This, and the effort and stress it'd take me to get diagnosed, is why I choose to not get diagnosed

[@rachelb4339]

A lot of my actual medical diagnoses, both physical and mental health, were only diagnosed by a health professional BECAUSE I self diagnosed it myself first. After doing tons of self research on my symptoms and attempting to figure out root causes. Only then did I bring up my thoughts and findings to my doctors. It’s often takes years for an official diagnosis for even physical conditions. Self diagnosis is a helpful tool to help steer medical professionals in the right direction. After all no one knows your body and mind better than yourself. Doctors should be more willing to listen to our thoughts and concerns.

[@unseenmolee]

exactly 1000% agree and i wish more doctors would be understanding abt that. i feel like when i tell a doctor what im going thru they feel the need to prove me wrong, like i cant possibly know myself better than they do. but like especially with mental disorders, shit thats only in MY head, that is almost impossible to see from the outside unless its severe enough, that should mostly be on me to figure out. like i want them to listen to me and try to figure it out WITH me. i get that doctors/therapist have more like academic and professional experience to diagnose shit, but i just hate when they think they have the right to tell me what is going on inside my head without consulting me or giving me any chance to tell them how i actually think and feel. its kind of dehumanizing in a way, like im just a list of symptoms to them and not a full, complex, person

[@marionleblanc8580]

Same here! I wonder whether this is because I'm on the anxious side and doctors pick up on that, instinctively ruling that whatever symptom I feel is surely in my head. Whereas if I'm reasonably self confident about my own diagnosis I'm able to convince them to listen to me.

[@alisadavies8943]

At the point I'm video about trust I'm healthcare system: my brother-in-law went to his GP seeking an autism assessment, so with the interest of official assessment and was refused because his GP said 'you have a girlfriend? No, you can't be autistic'. WILD.

[@rahbeeuh]

If he's interested I'd try going elsewhere. All clinicians aren't that uninformed. If he hasn't used Psychology Today or reached out to his local Autism Society organization or ASAN I'd recommend those. I hope this is helpful. However, if he's no longer interested nevermind this comment 😎

[@someoneunknown7655]

My sibling went to get diagnosed for adhd but they were denied because their “grades were too high to have adhd”, and guess what, they ended up failing 12 grade because they weren’t receiving any support 🙃

[@Lucky_Dagger]

​​@@someoneunknown7655 in college the disability department there didn't want to give me any accommodations because i had straight A's in high school. I angrily said to her "um I had fucking accommodations in high school". I withdrew from that school because it was so shit in terms of ADHD/executive functioning support and heard from a peer the next year that the PoS in charge of my case got promoted to head of the department. 🙄

[@brookecorry4827]

@someoneunknown7655 Yup I had top grades in my classes until the material progressed in difficulty and I was no longer able to compensate for my ADHD with my intelligence. So I went from second highest grade in organismal bio to unable to pass calc III. Not because I couldn’t learn the material, but because I couldn’t take the tests fast enough. Getting my diagnosis changed so much for me, I hope your sibling is able to get the support they need.

[@rahbeeuh]

@@someoneunknown7655 wait, how were they diagnosed and denied? Y'mean denied accommodations? If so, that's illegal. I'd report whoever denied them

[@michaelneedssleep]

On an IG post about a self-proclaimed psychopath, I recently commented that “people with ASPD are humans and deserve a place in society.” I was expecting some grief, with the exception of maybe two comments, the responses have been replies and DMs from people saying “thank you” and sharing their own experiences with stigma and having to constantly bite their tongues listening to conversations about someone’s evil narcissist ex/parent/etc, which honestly broke my heart. I think the DMs were to protect their own privacy on a public post, where people seemed very comfortable expressing hostility toward personality disorders in general. I hope this isn’t coming across as self-congratulatory. 😬 I just think there is a greater need for understanding and acceptance of MIs in general, but especially those that are less glamorized, and made out to be ‘ugly’, villainized and scapegoated. Thanks for another banger of a video!

[@beckysuperswag]

that’s because they harm an abuse others. obviously not all. but yeah, bite your tongue when someone’s talking about how a narcissist harmed and abused them. it’s not that hard. don’t make it about yourself. it’s like saying not all men. who cares?

[@jordahnnelson9926]

​@beckysuperswag don't diagnose someone that harmed you as having npd. Plenty of people without personality disorders are selfish and harm people. Calling someone's actions narcissistic is different than diagnosing someone as a narcissist.

[@reamorena3509]

Weaponising "therapy" theory is something I've seen and experienced too many times. Being called a narcissist because you are less reactive from learning to regulate your emotions. I think healing is a process that scares people who are comfortable with your unhealed version. But weaponising therapy phrases to manipulate a person is a "crazy" move. Loving the content, keep it up. We love it! Also. I'm learning a lot

[@ItsAllNunya]

Perhaps one should interrogate why it's appropriate to armchair diagnose somebody with a highly stigmatized disorder that has a high sewer slide rate and a higher risk of being abused than to abuse others just like bpd......rather than complaining theyve been called a narcissist? Just a thought.

[@xoxocessa]

My family loves to weaponize therapy against me to shut me up.

[@claireneto]

As someone, who has been to therapy for years, I like how you delved into how ppl use "therapy speak" and how it can be misconstrued over time. "Therapy speak" is being used by ppl who have never been to therapy or group sessions and learn it from the internet especially TikTok like... And loving your fit and braids giving Storm from X-Men vibes. 🌩💖

[@ohhmangos]

Exactly! Like when people say they are "just setting a boundary" but that "boundary" is actually just them being controlling. Boundaries aren't meant to control others-- boundaries are self-enforced and when you tell someone of your boundary it is a warning that if they continue to hurt you, you will take action to remove yourself from that situation. Boundaries are not "I don't like you wear shorts, stop wearing them."

[@judysm95]

@@ohhmangosThis is a great point with boundaries specifically. I think beyond just misunderstanding boundaries as rules to exert over people, many understand boundaries as an ultimatum (which is also just manipulation to get the outcome you want!)

[@catherinecampbell1215]

I had a therapist in high school that told me “you’re normal” and “you’re fine” even though I told him I had obsessive thoughts and dark thoughts. I couldn’t function because I had insane obsessive thoughts. A couple of years ago, I told my doctor the same symptoms, and she told me I have generalized anxiety disorder. I got put on antidepressants and it has made such a difference.

[@estanceveyrac]

This real problem is that people are made to look for a diagnosis, instead of solutions for their problems. When we are talking about mental health It doesn't matter what we call the source of the problem, the names of mental disorder are all recent & ever changing, it's not that important. What important is identifying what are the real barriers to living a happy life & then setting up strategies to overcome those barriers.

[@beerson9474]

The worst thing is when someone comes to therapy to process having been abused using "therapy speak". It has massive abuse potential, often showing up as a form of emotional obscurantism. Most therapists won't even use this kind of terminology as the modern clinical approach is to meet client's where they're at linguistically. I get the sense that therapy speak in its general societal application works like a kind of squid ink that's used to flatten or hide a power imbalance.

[@patmarcoux2880]

Psychiatry student here: sorry couldn't wait until the end I didn't want to lose my thoughts so sorry if these are observed later in vid and make my comment irrelevant. Self-diagnosis is not: - When neuropriviledged ppl say "oh that's my OCD/ADHD". That's just ppl saying things because that's what ppl do. - Like when hypochondriac ppl believe they have illnesses from reading stuff on the internet. Both are totally different situations. - Invent stuff to get accepted into a certain group of ppl like: "I love to meditate", "Their older stuff was better" or "I'm half Irish from my mother's side". These are phases and they don't last enough to make any significant impact on ppl's trajectories. Some mental health and diagnosis facts: - You should be able to tell if you have something -- even if not in the right medical terms -- because "disorder" means you just cannot live a normal life like others. Symptoms from mood disorders, learning disorders, social disorders and personality disorders are WAY more apparent to one self than one's own sexual orientation or identity. Imagine if you had to pay an old dude 2k in order to certified that you are gay or pan. That is what we do with disorders. - There are more disorders in poorer populations and they mostly don't have access to a proper diagnoses because of financial limitations. - A lot of women can't even be diagnosed by a trained professional most of the time because doctors just don't have a freaking clue how women works apparently. So even from girlhood, a lot of women won't have access to the health care they need throughout life. - When you do get to see a professional, they will base their conclusions (and the final diagnosis) on your self-reported symptoms anyway. I feel like there is more a problem of people not taking self-diagnoses seriously enough than one of too much ppl faking it. Also, in the new guard of psychiatry, we can feel that there is a movement for keeping our minds open to self-diagnoses. I might be a bit more radical, even, because of my life story I guess. You can often catch me saying: "Self-diagnoses = survival", here and there! Love you all!

[@MariahRayneArt]

"Self Diagnoses = Survival" made me cry a little because honestly it is so true for me personally. Without the words to look up how to better treat myself and my brain I simply do not know how I would be able to keep up anything. Everything and everyone has failed me but me. Honoring my self diagnoses has been survival.

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

I'm a highly neurodivergent art therapist, and you are exactly what we need in this field! (Actually, I'm probably what we need in this field too! 😂) People who understand these different ways of experiencing the world from firsthand experience, not from a textbook or a checklist, and people who are willing to try things that are less orthodox if they will help our patients. Thank you for taking up this challenge.

[@arnoldallen8985]

Hello, just wanted to add that not everyone has insight to their disorder and that can be a symptom of disorders like schizophrenia. Not everyone with schizophrenia lacks insight. I did not believe my diagnosis until I received psychoeducation after diagnosis.

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

@@arnoldallen8985 This is sadly true. Having lost a good friend to schizophrenia, who refused to believe that her delusions really *were* delusions, or that she needed her medication, I know firsthand that this lack of insight can, in extreme cases, be deadly. That's part of why I do what I do now.

[@moomin469]

I agree with self diagnosis = survival I self diagnosed with ocd and obviously I'm not 100% sure I have it but I can't currently access diagnosis but i deal with bad intrusive thoughts everyday and spend so much time obsessing and worrying over them. googling symptoms of ocd or looking at reddit ocd forums of people's experiences helps me remind myself I'm not a bad person for getting these thoughts (which is something i worry about) and helps me get through the day 😋😋 I wouldn't go round telling everyone I had ocd as I'm not diagnosed by a professional but just having this info for myself helps me get through the day and I feel like people who hate on self diagnosis don't understand that Thank u so much for ur comment 💓

[@zmata1263]

I struggle a lot with balancing “explaining vs excusing.” At what point does asserting boundaries become a lack of compassion? Where do we distinguish between accountability and total, unwavering punishment? We have yet to figure out how to hold compassion for those who struggle with intense mental illnesses because those illnesses can sometimes cause abusive behavior. It is very difficult to have these conversations when there is the “unspeakable” category of people who cause extreme harm to others and they are then caste out, either through institutionalization or informal social rejection. I’m not suggesting that people start forgiving abusers or anything like that, but people who commit abuse of any kind have their own explainations as to why they’re doing it, so it seems that the conversation has to extend to them eventually, otherwise we are just adjusting the range of acceptable behaviors/illness without challenging the underlying reasons why people commit acts of abuse, which so far, has not helped us as a whole. Great video, Khadija ❤

[@emmahorton3466]

I definitely think explaining vs excusing is between interpersonal relationships moreso than a rule of thumb. My boundaries vary greatly depending on my relationship, closeness and connection with the individual in front of me. I am autistic and my husband is ADHD. We struggle with some things, like him forgetting to put stuff away, for example. It's easy for him to explain it, and it's easy for me to accept that explanation, but our focus has to be on this: my compassion, and his awareness. If he is aware of his behavior, then it's easy for me to have compassion. I have a LOT of compassion for him, but I wouldn't have as much for someone else. Not that I would have 0, but their actions would likely affect me less, overall, so it's more like a give and take, you know? Anyway, I hope this gives some insight!

[@zmata1263]

@@emmahorton3466 Yeah I totally hear you, proximity and the type of relationship to a person impacts the way one would view them; it makes sense why you’d have more patience for your husband than anyone else! I definitely have had similar experiences with my friends with ADHD. However, my question is more about the people that would be catorgorized as “abusive.” For example, if I had a friend who was extremely reactive and struggling with anger management, manipulation, and high risk behaviors (drug abuse, sex, etc), but I knew exactly the trauma and mental health issues that made them this way, at what point do I or anyone else in our community make the kind of absolutist judgment that they’re an irredeemable, evil person while still holding to the idea that people deserve compassion and understanding?

[@emmahorton3466]

@zmata1263 Ah, I see what you're saying. I'm not sure its up to us to decide if people are irredeemable, aside from r@pists or pedos, etc. We also can't choose what community decides, but our own place in it. I have absolutely stepped away from friend groups and even online communities because people seemed to tolerate behaviors that I couldn't. I think it's more a sign that those spaces are no longer serving us, and that's okay.

[@lunacouer]

@@zmata1263 These are all good questions/points. Here's my viewpoint. For your example of the hypothetical friend, I have that exact situation in my life actually. My sister is an active alcoholic. I know the exact traumas that are driving her extreme anger, manipulation, lies, and drinking. She is in _extreme_ pain and trust me, her pain is beyond valid. My primary issue is that those behaviors are spreading destruction so severe that I can't remain in contact with her. She's wielding her trauma like a weapon and is hurting everyone around her, in some truly horrific ways. Her daughter has cPTSD from what her mother has put her through, and she has willingly admitted that she _wants_ to hurt people. While I can understand and feel compassion for the pain that's driving that desire, the reasons don't excuse the behaviors nor absolve her from reckoning with the destruction she has wrought. Al-Anon has a saying: "Detach with love". That finally sunk in awhile ago, in that by becoming un-enmeshed, I could see clearly how I wanted to handle my relationship with her. For my own internal and external safety, at this point in time, I can't be around her. My compassion has to come from a distance. If she ever reaches the point where she's ready to at least start a sober journey, I will absolutely support her. It's just that until she's ready to take that journey to face her pain instead of her current coping mechanism of "my reasons are my excuses for hurting you", there's not much I or anyone else can do. I believe most people are redeemable. However, one of the requirements for redemption is wanting to be redeemed. If a person wants to continue their destructive behavior, that is their choice. We also have a choice - willingly be destroyed or find a safe distance.

[@vaporeonice3146]

@@zmata1263 I really appreciate you reflecting on this on here! I personally don't think we should ever end on an "absolutist judgment that someone's an irredeemable, evil person," as I don't think that ever really reflects reality. But a lot of people confuse "having compassion" with "actively working to heal the person who's hurting you." A lot of survivors of abuse DO come to the conclusion that the person who hurt them is evil and irredeemable, but they usually get there because the people around them, or they themselves, have felt that they need to excuse the person's behavior or try to "fix" them, and have often done so for years (especially when the person who hurt them is a parent or caregiver). If someone has hurt you because of their mental health issues, you don't owe them anything. While they may not be "to blame" for it (they didn't cause the mental health issues that led to the behavior), they're "responsible" for it in the fact that they're the only person who can actually take the steps to heal the harm they've done to the relationship. If they don't, it makes a lot of sense to leave or distance yourself from that relationship, if possible. I think those of us who haven't been directly harmed by someone's abusive behavior should, whenever possible, try to be understanding and compassionate towards the person who did harm, and try to support them through their mental health struggles and trauma histories while also holding them accountable for their behavior (that is, reminding them that they have done harm and that they can do better, and helping them learn how to do better). At the end of the day, none of us WANT to be abusive. None of us want to have other people be afraid of us, or to cause suffering in other people's lives. But the reality is that all of us do harm to other people to varying extents. Whenever possible, we should be trying to support and understand other people in our communities and help them to do better. Pretending that their mental health struggles or trauma absolves them of responsibility doesn't do that, because then they're just as likely to do it again in the future. But condemning them as an irredeemable monster also doesn't work, because it doesn't give them any path to actually heal the harm. At the end of the day, you need to believe you have some inherent worth as a person if you want to acknowledge and take responsibility for the harm you've done. Unfortunately, our society is really bad as treating people who have done harm as having any inherent worth.

[@tedddybear]

I’m so happy about this video. I watched a video on self diagnoses and autism last year by a creator I thought I really trusted only to feel completely invalidated and like I was lying to myself. I pushed through and now I have an official diagnosis!! and I’m mentally okay to engage in these types of videos again and you did a great job in restoring my faith.

[@judysm95]

I have a feeling I know who the creator was 👀 but would love if you could confirm! Lol

[@nessmarie6044]

@@judysm95 omg me too...are we all thinking about the same person

[@floize8478]

Same happened to me! I have a feeling It’s the same creator but i’m happy to say I made a few of new autizzy friends out of that instance as we found eachother though discussing it on TikTok 🫶🏽I’m sorry you felt completely invalidated I felt the same way. Congratulations on your diagnosis!😊

[@moomin469]

OMGGG I REMEMBER SOMETHING SIMILAR don't know if its the same person we are thinking of but they said 'we should gatekeep autism" even tho she said she wasn't autistic and also used that on abelist website that does eugenics as sources 😭😭 (I forgot what the site was called but I think it's the puzzle one)

[@imani0nline]

The misuse of self diagnosis is really unfortunate because even though it is not 100% accurate, self diagnosis is an assessment tool in our arsenal that is used in conjunction with other tools, to make sure people get the help best suited for them.

[@clevernickname8095]

Hello, autistic woman here! I wanted to give my 2 cents about self diagnosis as it relates to autism and talk a bit about my own experience. Getting an autism diagnosis is notoriously difficult for women and people of color. Because most studies related to autism focused on young white boys, the symptoms of everyone else who is not in that category can have their symptoms brushed off as just being "eccentric". For women specifically, traits specific to our gender can bar us from diagnosis and I experienced this first hand. When I was a kid I actually went through the autism diagnosis process, and while I checked off a lot of boxes it was ultimately decided I wasn't "autistic enough" because I liked to talk to others. This is very common for women as we're often socialized to be hyper aware of social situations and are judged more harshly for our mannerisms compared to males, hence leading to us learning to blend in better (this is known as masking). As an adult I went through the process again to get accommodations and it was very draining. First I had to take a survey with weird questions like "would you rather go see a play or go to the library" and "have you ever killed small animals". With questions like that first one, it felt very infantilizing because I could tell the question was trying to gage my socialness and limits to stimulation, but asked about in a very roundabout way. I'm a musical theatre kid, I love plays! But that doesn't mean I don't also need my quiet time and that loud environments or weird textures can't also be very distressing to me sometimes. I love seeing plays AND going to the library, but they're not the same. But if you want to get a diagnosis, there IS a right answer. After that was done, I was given a form to be filled out with the more direct questions by my mom, still not allowed to give any input. Since autism usually needs to be diagnosed in childhood they needed input from someone who raised me. While I understood this, it still felt humiliating that *I* wasn't asked some of those questions. After ALL that, I was FINALLY given the chance to discuss my experience and had to drive to a facility an hour away to finish my testing. THIS is what it takes to get diagnosed. And you have to fight for yourself and advocate for yourself the whole way through. Getting a diagnosis takes time and money (and in my case, a connection to someone who raised me) which are all huge privileges that not everybody has. On the topic of "making autism your personality", I want to note that when you know you've been different your whole life, but told by the medical system and society that it's all just in your head, it can be a very jarring experience. My whole life, I knew I was different. There was some strange quality about me that made me stick out from everyone around me, and it felt like everybody knew what that was except me. It's a very isolating experience. Autism affects everything in my life and how I see and experience the world in a very deep and profound way. To finally have that answer, to finally have that knowledge of WHY you were different and to find that community of people who share this experience that you thought was totally unique to you is so freeing. It isn't my "whole personality" but it affects so much of my daily life. I am a woman, an artist, a student, an engineer, a film fanatic, a musician, and I am also autistic. Do people misdiagnose themselves? Sure. Do people sometimes lie for attention? I mean I guess, but I would be willing to bet if someone wants to lie about being autistic for attention that they have some other issues going on. But a lot of people self diagnosis because the system has failed them. And a lot of the time, they are right. I don't want to scare anyone away from getting a formal diagnosis. Getting accommodations and help has changed my life for the better. But if you don't have the means to get a diagnosis in this moment, that's also ok. The mental health community has its problems, but it has also helped so many people and made others feel less alone. I visualize internet resources as a band aid until people can get the professional help that they really need. In the past 10 years, so much progress has been made to destigmatize mental health, but there's still so much change that needs to happen in the system. I hope it only gets better. If you've read this far, I hope you have a fantastic day and are taking care of yourselves

[@elaine876]

Thank you so much for your comment. I have had a similar experience of being really floored by how I finally had an explanation for why I was so odd. I am not kidding when I say I feel like discovering I was autistic explained my whole life. I talk about my autism a lot so I could see someone thinking I'm making it my "whole personality", but I'm not trying to. As you said, autism affects every aspect of my life because it affects how I think, how I process sensations, how I relate to others, how I focus, etc.

[@liabstrait8306]

Oh wow! On top of the "questionnaire" and asking to my mom who didnt even think as a kid i was autistic, was really hard and put so many bad biases to the assessment, bc the depiction of her raising me was so out of reality, she would say to me that at home i was troubled but to people that im a shy quiet kid, i hated it. Autism assessment where im from has also questions to see if you have other commorbided disorders (as adhd, dyslexia, insomnia etc...) Like many big sessions with different professionals neurologist, psychiatrist, therapist, speech therapist etc etc its draining and expensive and the waiting is so long so im glad you wrote that comment and i got another insight from someone else on the spectrum!

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

When you say you got help an accommodations, what do you mean? I got my diagnosis in my 20s and all they said was find a support group and fake it til you make it and I haven’t had any benefit to getting the diagnosis other than what you mentioned about finally knowing what it is. I called my insurance and they basically told me I’m too high functioning to qualify for anything, meanwhile my entire life is slowly falling apart all around me 😂😂

[@lynn858]

@@liabstrait8306 My parents filled out the 10 questions they were given, which pointed solidly to me being neurotypical. I was lucky the clinician allowed me to explain, in detail, my inner view of my childhood related to those questions, and why, those were the wrong questions to be asking when worded that way. That they ignored the possibility that a child could mask, or learn to compensate for their ADHD. And, that my parents were viewing these questions through a confused framework of having learned what ADHD was in 1990, when my brother was a 7 year old annoying his teacher. Had my parents, or my brother as he got older been taught about ADHD in more complete and nuanced way, my brother wouldn't have been 30 when we were learning together that we BOTH have ADHD, and it's complex. It's NOT simply "we view the world similarly to each other, and differently from a lot of other people because we grew up together" and he also has some crappy traits that make him a pain in the arse and a failure because he has ADHD. We both have ADHD brains, and I hide some traits because I had to. And we're perceived differently because of our genders. The major difference in our brain wiring is that he's dyslexic (also more complex and multifaceted than people think), whereas I have mild prosopagnosia (facial blindness) and trouble with maps and directions. Whether you've been like this since childhood is important to whether it's ADHD or has another cause... but they really could just ask us about OUR perceptions of our childhood.

[@KiwiBerry-xb4ty]

I finally got officially diagnosed last month after years of self-diagnosing, and your experience is very similar to mine! I think someone else said this as well- but being misdiagnosed with other conditions for nearly 30 years was far more damaging than self diagnosing ever was. If anything, I have more of an issue with click-baity, non evidence based tik toks that make autism seem like a cute quirky personality trait rather than a developmental disability. Since self diagnosing and getting my assessment, I have definitely found more of a community and feel more seen. Sure- I might make it too much of my ‘personality’ but it’s literally who I am. Idk. That portion of the video just didn’t sit right with me.

[@vintagechaos3196]

I am just tired of people saying ur "ur not ___" cuz they see something online thats stereotypical and people also adopting a disorder from one symptom

[@briefisbest]

I spent seven years in therapy trying to explain why I felt so wrong and down on myself as a person, and the most helpful thing in my mental health timeline was considering I might be autistic. It explained so much, so thoroughly, and it made me feel like I could possibly exist in the world. Self-diagnosis doesn't get you accommodations. It does help you learn about coping mechanisms better geared toward what you're personally going through. It helps you feel seen and heard in a world that has been consistently telling you your perception and your own internal experiences are questionable or faulty. It helps give language and framework to things you go through but can't explain. Autism itself doesn't have a medication regimen. A diagnosis would not fix anything in my immediate surroundings and could potentially jeopardize my career and future ability to move to other countries. The only piece I'm missing in this context is the validation of having a professional rubberstamp what I know about myself. I think this is my irritation with the pushback against self diagnosis. People can be wrong, but does anyone think that the only alternate outcome to incorrect self diagnosis is correct professional diagnosis? It's not delaying proper treatment if professional treatment was never on the table to begin with.

[@rahbeeuh]

This conversation can be a bit triggering for me but since Khadija is discussing it I'm inclined to continue. Will see how it goes.

[@rahbeeuh]

When I used "triggering" I meant it but I hadn't expected the word to be addressed here 15:32

[@KhadijaMbowe]

💕

[@rahbeeuh]

I appreciate the nuance you brought to this topic. I thought you'd mention the discourse around self-diagnosis after Amanda Seales appeared on Club Shay Shay. While she didn't help matters, the way people delved too heavily into ableism was concerning. I'm kinda glad you didn't mention it bc where would y'even start? Anyhoo, great discussion. ​@@KhadijaMbowe

[@captainbunnicula]

One of the counterpoints I hear often to the assertion that health professionals know better is that health research is extremely subject to the same biases, prejudices, and harmful social constructs that make their way into everything else. And I agree! It definitely is, and to look at healthcare as a set of objective truths completely removed from other harmful systems is a mistake that can and has and DOES cause a lot of harm. Distrust for our healthcare systems is well-deserved (ETA: and I love that people are finding tools and doing research to get around that. Self diagnosis can be so useful, no denying that). But I think what worries me is that this counterpoint will (or has, idk) be diluted or repurposed as a catch-all reason for avoiding seeking professional help, even when the resources are available and others in their life are encouraging them to do so. I think it's easy to forget that the internet is by no means LESS biased or less subject to influence by harmful systems. Plenty of the things I would come across in an effort to self-diagnose, I wouldn't know how to interpret correctly anyway, and that's not negated by healthcare being built on foundations of oppression.

[@bztbzt11]

One point I do want to raise is that it can be highly disadvantageous to some folks to have an ASD diagnosis on your record due to stigma. In addition, it can be difficult to get a diagnosis removed from your record. It's very easy for health professionals to treat you like a child and ignore your valid concerns about your health just because you are autistic. Autistic folks often have mental and physical comorbidities that go ignored. For some people an official diagnosis means that they're going to get access to resources they need ex. occupational therapies, accomodations at work, personal aides, alternative communication devices, etc. With the right health care professionals, you could get better treatment, but autistic people are too often treated like dog sh*t by the health system. And if you're an adult, you've already aged out of so many resources that are available to kids. That's before you throw on other intersections. An ASD diagnosis for a ⚪️ man versus a BIPOC non-man can have a very different weight. So I do want to raise that there is a (even if small) population of undiagnosed folks because there can be downsides to getting an official diagnosis and it's not worth it for everyone. Instead, some folks just try to make accommodations without putting on a label for safety/necessity. Ex. Being overestimated by bright lights. Many folks understand that fluorescent lights are awful. But if you say I need tinted lens because you're autistic it's a whole different story. If you just say the lights can be harsh and that's why you wear tinted lenses, people pay it less mind.

[@aliceinwonderland8314]

My mum knew I was autistic but didn't get me diagnosed until I was 15, specifically because there were only negatives to having others know until I got to the point of needing extra time in exams. Considering the amount of people who treated me as stupid because I physically could not pronounce certain things because of my teeth, it was a sensible idea not to add fuel to that fire.

[@notshardain]

Yeah. I am afab and already my concerns haven't been listened to (with adhd as well as physical ailments), it's too much of a challenge to fight for an autism diagnosis when all it will do is put something else on my health records that will get me ignored further with the way the healthcare system currently is and how so many doctors have very harmful biases against autistic people.

[@StagesnotAges3743]

I think it's also important to understand psychologists (assessment based) psychiatrists (medication based) and therapists (therapy based) are not interchangeable. Many people think you need to see a psychiatrist or psychologist (which can be pretty pricey) and not factor in a master level therapist. Master level therapists help individuals cope, process and manage their symptoms, they can not provide medication (there are a few exceptions), but they can diagnose. I do like how you touched on this briefly Khadija, but lots of people use the words interchangeably.

[@longestbeann]

In most states and provinces, Master's level therapists can not diagnose. Not sure about Europe though.

[@babymilksnatcher]

That works in the US. Not sure about Canada, and clearly not in Europe. Where I live currently, psychologists are taught therapy methods per default, while psychiatrists are considered as doctors who specialise in psychiatric disorders. The one healthcare professional that's in charge of helping you cope with everyday life is going to be a psychiatric nurse.

[@LangkeeLongkee]

This is a largely gray area. Cause it depends on country, region within a country, and also, people can have multiple degrees. Someone cana advertise themselves as a psychologist or a psychiatrist and also be trained in therapy, etc.

[@StagesnotAges3743]

Here in the US, most master level therapists can diagnose, the trickier ones are autism as many insurance companies require a doctorate, an assessment (ADOS, CARS, etc.) as well as a FA-11F

[@StagesnotAges3743]

​@@LangkeeLongkeevery true, but I think master level therapists are not given as much credit as a psychologist or psychiatrist

[@SpiritVines]

Just so you all know mental health is just like physical health, it will never be perfect, everyone has their problems even if the dam says otherwise. Lots of therapy has been colonized and diluted and individualized. If you have ptsd it’s like breaking a bone. It can heal but other things will always be present. Capitalist perfectionism has been the result of a lot of the content we see today. The idea that if you don’t have enough money or are conventionally attractive socially then your mind and physical health must be “perfect”. I hate how mental health has turned into this. When I was little and ignorant 😭 I did NOT have this self awareness

[@Eurobeat_fan]

As someone with POTS there's A LOT of misinformation about POTS on tik tok because people refuse to specify that POTS is getting a high heart rate when standing and is not defined/diagnosed based on most other symptoms other than high heart rate and dizziness when standing. So a lot of people are so convinced they have POTS even though their heart rate when standing is normal (which means they probably don't have POTS unless it was a remission day). It doesn't help that POTS is hard to get diagnosed because people like to be told that it's anxiety but if you buy a heart rate monitor and test your sitting and standing heart rate yourself you can get a good idea if you might have it or not then show your doctor.

[@heidipadron4008]

I need to look into this… my baby sister (a POC) has gotten dizzy and passed out a few times randomly. We heard a thump while she was in the bathroom, and when she came out she had a gash on her forehead from hitting her head when she passed out. So, she Finally went to the doctor, and they said nothing was wrong, that her heart rate was high because of white coat syndrome (doctor anxiety). So I gave her my Fitbit to track her heart rate… her resting heart rate was never below 120… she was 17 years old, otherwise healthy, active, under 5 feet tall and at the bottom threshold of a normal BMI. I was 33, not active, eat badly, 5’7”, underweight and my resting heart rate was 67. Yet, we still can’t them to take her symptoms seriously. It’s terrifying!

[@hay6930]

I only really started being concerned when my heart spiked to 150-200 BPM by standing

[@jessicahannah2522]

POTS is not just having a different heart rate lol. It's also the most commonly faked 'disease', along with the other two in the illness 'fakers' TRIFECTA of faked disorders for attention. It's also a screaming red flag for medical professionals. Add the other two 'disorders' so common amongst this group, and doctors/nurses def giving you side eye and a discharge and a flag on your record. Was just in a thread for emergency medicine where they discussed the nightmare of dealing with 'the POTS phenomena'. Right up there with the "I have 42 different personalities!" crew. People are sick, def. Just with factitious disorder. Don't come screaming at me that YOUR disorder is real. It's not. It's just a new label for "give this girl a fancy medical sounding name for her made up, attention seeking bs and discharge from the ER/practise." They smile and nod to your face, because they HAVE to . Go behind the scenes and see what they really say about it. Oh, and the 'teddy bear syndrome", along with having a blanket with you, and so many give aways that shriek: "Pay attention to me! Please!" when it's just factitious disorder and likely lonely. Get out of the gig and open up resources for those who have things like congestive heart failure for real and need the appt you are stealing for attention.

[@khaleha]

The stigma around schizophrenia is a huge issue that isnt talked about enough - thanks for also bringing that up! Great video

[@moomin469]

I remember learning that a study found cultures where there were no stigma around schizophrenia had all patients with helpful or nice hallucinations and cultures with stigma had all patients with violent and hostile hallucinations I feel like people don't realise how deep the stigma can impact 😭

[@JSouBK]

The distrust of medical professionals is real. My sister was told she was fine by her primary care for over a year after reporting night sweats and fatigue. One day she had a sip of wine, and felt a burning in her chest. She turned to google and she found it might be lymphoma. She went to the hospital and she did indeed have lymphoma, which luckily she survived.

[@DJVesperX]

"I'm still learning." Is the only approach to life that leads to growth. 💜✌

[@nicholaslaux]

The study talking about accuracy of doctoral diagnosis vs computer diagnosis, and conflating "computer software diagnosis" with "self diagnosis" feels a bit strange to me - most people I know who have "self diagnosed" essentially read a bunch of stuff online and found things that resonated with their experience, vs what sounds like essentially taking a tumblr survey and deciding that was a "self diagnosis". I would also be very curious to know how they determined what an "accurate" diagnosis is, if they're not relying on a doctor to be the arbiter of accuracy. I don't think the overall point about caution surrounding accuracy of self-diagnosis is entirely invalidated by this, but it definitely feels weaker as a criticism. (This is also not touching on the human bias side of doctor diagnosis; i would imagine that getting an accurate transgender diagnosis in the UK, or an accurate autism diagnosis as a female-presenting person is going to be drastically lower than, say, an accurate ADHD diagnosis as a middle aged white boy)

[@PlurCo]

I thought that too

[@mellowthm566]

It's interesting too because quite a few studies look into self-diagnosis of autism to establish accuracy but also improve actual medical diagnosis. Adult support is shit and hard to find so that's a wash but research is trying at least. Wish there was more sbout racial bias, the last decade or do has brought more focus on the sexism bias in assessment but there's way more to go. Not to mention the pearl clutching over the transgender overlap with more gender diverse people being trans by a large margin( like 1.5-2.7% vs as average 8% but autistic people are not more likely to be trans but trans people have higher rates of autism). *Most autistic adults i know start with reading a few books or doing a lot of searches then getting curious and doing diagnostic criterion going shit and ignoring results then start unpacking and rethinking childhood. Then taking more diagnostics. I'm not not diagnosed but by the time i brought it up with my therapist she said she always suspected....then my nurse practitioner suggested I should get assessed unprompted , then the temp doctor i had, then the...🤯 by that point i just accepted things. I still expect that if i ever move towards formal diagnosis I'll get doubted and possible medical gaslighting along the way.

[@krose6451]

This! All this. I was wearing a skeptical "really" face at various points in the video for these reasons

[@MonaeM-fi4lz]

I appreciate your input! I work in mental health and I can honestly say it’s disappointing with how people are misdiagnosed or they are ignored when it comes to disorders like autism. I see it a lot for women and people of color so I understand the need for self diagnosis. You did bring me awareness of how TikTok and other social media platforms have been the guide for self diagnosis. I wasn’t aware of this. I know specifically for autism there are self diagnosis test you can take that are pretty accurate. I was able to take one (it’s free) and I talked to two medical providers who were able to validate my self diagnosis. Still, I wasn’t given any help and was told I’m high functioning so I’m fine or that I’m adult so I’m ok since I made it this far. Also, some countries and states have laws that could hurt and / or take away rights for people who are clinically diagnosed so please be aware of that as well.

[@justhearmeout3959]

You're probably the only person online that I feel like I can trust to talk about this in a balanced, nuanced, and compassionate way. I appreciate you Khadija ❤

[@KhadijaMbowe]

That really means a lot

[@kezia8027]

honestly so true. I actually cannot think of a single creator that I know that I would trust more to discuss this topic in a sensitive and well rounded way. I think the personal experience and self reflection/willingness to admit to past/current faults/flawed thinking is the main reason.

[@talkswithtanya]

Fr

[@KatherineKoepke]

@@kezia8027 I know that Alexander Avila did a video on this topic that I thought was also really well thought out!

[@roxxemineffe1255]

Compounded by the fact that Black and brown women (and men) are more likely to go undiagnosed, more likely to be unemployed or underemployed (& increasingly underpaid), more likely to end up in poverty & more likely to be vulnerable to sexual assault and abuse. In my case, as a brown woman, I suspected I was autistic for quite some time. Then it turns out my parents knew I was autistic since I was a child for decades and thought it would be better to hide that information from me. They also thought that being diagnosed would mean I would be further subject to the banalities of a racist society that continues to intentionally enact harm and misunderstanding of POC and especially neurodivergent POC. And unfortunately, in many ways they are not wrong. They were trying to protect me. But the world knew I was autistic before I even did. So yes, self diagnosis is ABSOLUTELY valid. And it can often be the FIRST step to seeking further information and “official” diagnosis from a healthcare professional and psychiatrist.

[@Tofu_va_Bien]

"Having chosen to study the problem of mental illness in Ireland, I hoped to understand its social origins and implications. As with tuberculosis, the mentally ill predominantly are members of the poorest social class, the victims of job insecurity, over-crowding, poor housing, over-large families. I had no idea of the infinite canvas of distress that would unfold before me in the years ahead. The one doubtful virtue of mental illness over tuberculosis was that you could die of tuberculosis. With mental illness, though desperately wanting to, you need not die. With a restless mind that cannot find comfort or rest, to know that you are *not* going to die is often the greatest source of distress for man or woman. In addition, the effect of mental illness seems to be all pervasive, involving thousands rather than hundreds. Mental 'disease' is impossible to categorise as a series of predictable signs and symptoms. The population of a mental hospital reflects the hidden away private agony of thousands. They are either under sedation or asleep, or nearly asleep, or restlessly awake and inconsolable. Some, heavily doped for the rest of their lives, bide their time in the benevolent jails we call mental hospitals until their release in death. There is a tacit conspiracy between psychiatrists and the public to imprison without public trial for months, years, sometimes even for life, our dissident social nonconformists, the misfits, sometimes even the inconsolably miserable. For the most part they are there simply because we, the 'normal' population can no longer tolerate their distress, of much of which distress we are the cause." Noel Browne, Irish politician and all round wonderful man.

[@sbocaj22]

Actually psychologists can and do diagnose mental health and some neurological conditions. That’s one of the main reasons they exist. They have phds in psychology. They just typically can’t prescribe medications. However in some states with special training they can prescribe meds.

[@user-hu3sg7ew8d]

It might depend on where you are in the world. In the UK (where I live) for example you would always be diagnosed by a psychiatrist not a psychologist. It might be similar in Canada where she lives.

[@originofsky]

In the US it actually depends on the state. Also, psychologists & therapists don't always have PhDs. A lot of them only have master's degrees. But yeah, in a previous state I lived in, my therapist with a Master's was allowed to diagnose me with ADHD. Since I moved to a new state, that is specifically NOT allowed here. It's honestly very confusing and idk why there isn't a more cohesive system. But unfortunately in a lot of places, ONLY a psychiatrist can diagnose.

[@sbocaj22]

@@originofskyit’s because the us isn’t a united country. We’re more of a collection of countries that don’t have full independent power with an overarching government that sometimes has power over all of us and sometimes doesn’t. I agree that it’s confusing and makes no sense.

[@karoliinalehtinen6701]

Depends on the country, in Finland only doctors (includes psychiatrists) can diagnose and psychologists can't. I don't know how it's in Canada where Khadija lives.

[@ratchetsaturngf6549]

Yeah I go to school in vermont so my psych could basically diagnose me w adhd and seasonal depression and link with my general practitioner to get my Wellbutrin and adderall sent to the pharmacy. I was shocked when I found out people had been on waiting lists for months and years for meeting with mental health professionals and that it was so expensive to get medicine and even get consultation.

[@oliviajayward]

as somebody who has been diagnosed with autism since the age of 4, I’ve realised people online are the ones who normally accuse women and young girls for ‘faking their autism’ probably because we don’t look like the stereotype.

[@CupidRival]

I appreciate the nuance here. I will say as a mental health practitioner who just got diagnosed with ADHD this year, it was largely thanks to the internet. It seems like inattentive ADHD is not often diagnosed with kids who do well in school. I was always very smart but veryyy inattentive. Always late, always late with assignments, and often distracted by conversation. I was told I was lazy, not living up to my potential, it's just anxiety, etc. I started seeing a psychiatrist 3 years ago bc it was free through my uni for a semester and git on anxiety meds. They did nothiiing but make me sick. I started seeing more and more videos about ADHD and I realized maybe that's why I can't focus on my work or go to bed early and maybe that's why I'm anxious! I said this to my psychiatrist and she laughed at me... Said "let's treat the anxiety first"... It took me 2 more years to finally work up the willpower and self-organization to see a new psychiatrist, get the diagnosis, and get on meds that ACTUALLY HELP! I was amazed that I didn't have to be tired all the time, I could focus better, and procrastinate less! It's not a cure-all, but even thinking that I had ADHD for 2 years made me change the way I worked so I could try advice based on that.

[@RamenzillaX]

My biggest thing with self diagnosis on the internet is it tends to end at the diagnosis. How do you deal with it? What are three options for people without the resources for therapy? My concern is a lot of the internet, mental health or otherwise, can be a very miserable, cynical place and that inundating oneself with “content” about a diagnosis may only benefit you so much before it becomes counter productive (and potentially make your mental health worse).

[@1919eva]

The argument at 8:11 seems a little out of place to me. This study talks about symptom checkers, which seem to be algorithms for physical symptoms, not mental health symptoms. When self-diagnosing something like adhd or autism, you would probably end up on a website with tests that psychologists also use (like RAADS R for autism). So saying "computers are bad at diagnosing people" is not really relevant here anyway, as it is up to the person to interpret their test results.

[@SeldonnHari]

Therapy needs to be decommodified and restructured in orientation towards anti-capitalist community.

[@TheKaliMalia]

💕

[@user-et3xn2jm1u]

It does, you are right. As an individual, you can look for an anti-capitalist therapist and honestly if your therapist isn't anticapitalist they might not be a good therapist haha. There's all kinds of people though.

[@HeavenlyEchoVirus]

@@user-et3xn2jm1uthat’s not what they meant, rather therapy shouldn’t be treated as a commodity (the way it is, it is hugely inaccessible for many), and it should move away from highly individualistic formats that treat people like isolated entities.

[@user-et3xn2jm1u]

@@HeavenlyEchoVirus If I had said what they meant then that would have been redundant, no? They already said it.

[@HeavenlyEchoVirus]

@@user-et3xn2jm1u is redundant worse than irrelevant? Haha

[@ablackgirlscommentary43]

Self diagonsis is actually not that uncommon in the professional space. Alot of medical and residency student complete self diagnosis on themselves due to the environment and the lack of time they have to complete actual diagnosis.

[@ZyllasAthenaeum]

NPD isn't evil any more than DID or BPD, but it is HARD to learn not to call things crazy. Very worth it, but hard.

[@PlurCo]

Thank you! As a member of a system I was giving them a side eye over this.

[@PlurCo]

Thank you! As a member of a system I was giving them a side eye over this.

[@PlurCo]

It seems to have registered my comment twice somehow Oop!

[@madeiracake7998]

Agreed

[@LangkeeLongkee]

To me crazy is something that doesn't make sense. A mental health condition, does make sense.

[@kezia8027]

Aiight Khadija - I'm gonna actually call you out, it sounded like you realized what you said, but no, they're not "actually evil" they may be deeply troubled and be unwilling/unable to change, but they're not "evil". Though as someone who has been abused by multiple people with (likely with) PD's, I do understand the knee-jerk reaction, and how much effort, time and compassion it takes to move through it. 💖 no hard feelings tho obviously it sounded like you know what's up even if you don't necessarily feel the same way I do. As for the rest of the video though, I would say you hit all the relevant points. Semi-full disclosure, I moderate one of the biggest ADHD subs on reddit, (not the bad one) and I've seen this issue getting worse over the last few years. One of the big issues being that ADHD is often more about the severity of the symptoms, rather than the presence of them, which means it is very easy for people to identify with ADHD symptoms without necessarily having them. They then begin sharing these 'loose' definitions, which then get picked up and used by others to self diagnose and then that new even further from the criterion 'info' becomes the new standard that gets passed around. I've spent an inordinate amount of time removing misinformed posts and correcting misinformation, but it's also hard because there is a lot of very vocal pushback the moment you talk about trying to 'police' what is considered ADHD - especially when there IS bias in the diagnostic criteria, and as such there are circumstances where people won't be identified despite them having ADHD (Women/PoC predominantly) and it becomes a quagmire of politicking between the validity of self diagnosis and the conflation of these terms online. I'll also say that I completely agree with your points about the overuse of therapy language, and how this has diluted mainstream discourse and understanding. Especially in regards to PD's. As someone who began their trauma journey 10 years ago, it has been fascinating, worrying, and also hopeful at how quickly trauma has become more widely known and understood, and I share your fears about the dilution of the terms, and of just how real that support is when it comes to the more serious mental health disorders. Phenomenal video as always, love the new editing style btw with the title cards - honestly I have so many thoughts about online mental health discourse this is borderline making me want to make my own video about the topic, but knowing my ADHD I would probably only get about 30% of the way into it before getting bored of the nitty gritty details and then shelve it never to be seen again.

[@rezza_lynsaii]

Thank You 🙏

[@sophieelsa7469]

If you ever make that video i would love to watch

[@entity_of_the_cosmos]

one thing especially that i see online is people not actually understanding what depression is and that people can suffer from different levels of depression and depression can effect them differently. one of example or which is hygiene. i know that one thing people with depression can struggle with is hygiene because it can be so difficult to just get up. when somebody says they haven’t showered in a week because of depression they get attacked for being disgusting or lazy even though that is literally a symptom of depression. another example of ignorance with mental health: i struggle with ADHD and take meds for it. i have had people say that i “shouldn’t take meds because i don’t take meds and i have ADHD and im doing fine” like, thats not how it work, i simply cannot get anything done and i get distracted extremely easily without my meds, i will take hours daydreaming and staring at the wall. the meds are something i need to function in this society.

[@ashantej]

I've been thinking about this sm lately... I've been so tired of being therapized OR doing the therapized talk to others. its almost like I don't know what else to say, so I use this "calming" therapized speech. I'm starting to realize that it does not make me feel calm or feel better, it makes me angry. it's so robotized to me, and its frustrating me that I don't have my own words to say or when I'm going through something that's all I hear now. I'm not sure of how others feel about it, but it's been so paralyzing for me socially.

[@squirrelsinmykoolaid]

Not sure if you brought this up yet, but relating to the use of the term gaslighting, I think it is important to differentiate it from other "therapy speak". One thing that makes "gaslighting" different is that, unlike many of the other terms, it didn't make its way from medical spaces into common language, but the other way around. It comes from a 1940s film called "Gaslight" and the premise was that the husband was manipulating his wife.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

As someone who is self-diagnosing themselves online and reading the definition of words, I’m definitely *something* if not “perfectly normal”.

[@rahbeeuh]

Do mind clarifying what y'mean? Obviously you don't have to but if you're inclined to, please do.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@rahbeeuh It’s a bad attempt at humour. Nothing serious.

[@rahbeeuh]

​@@PokhrajRoy.Ohh thanks for clarifying. I'm not good at picking up on humor especially via text.

[@SpiritVines]

Same ._.

[@larzinthelibrary2530]

I was having pain and weakness in my hands and wrists, especially the left, last year, which I at first thought was related to carpal tunnel syndrome, but then I also started getting constant random twitching all over my body, and pain in random areas, esp. my right foot...Dr. Google convinced me I had ALS and I thought I would be dead in a year. I saw a doctor and she quickly diagnosed me with cervical radiculopathy- a pinched nerve in the neck. I got some PT which largely resolved the issue, but if it comes back I may need surgery. Even though this was a physical problem, online self-diagnosing did not help my mental health, that's for sure!

[@fistOFjustice91]

What's insideous about weaponized therapy speak is how people can effectively gaslight you into thinking you're a bad person. It's hard to argue with someone about their so called "feelings" about you. They can say that you make them feel "unsafe" and you're expected not to question that because doing so would mean you're not accepting their "feelings." I'm a victim of this from my old friend group who constantly insisted that I wasn't as "healed" as them. Over a year later and its something I've had to work through in therapy. It made me feel terrible

[@PlurCo]

I'm going to be honest I've never really done this spiraling self-diagnosis thing, except for multiple years of repressing the fact that I was trans and but that was an explicitly good thing.

[@inolofatsenglekaba5026]

Got diagnosed with BPD after a s*icide attempt in 2018. My best friend at the time demanded that i stop being 'sick' because i was officially diagnosed and they weren't. They swore that their undiagnosed mental illness is worse than my diagnosed BPD

[@xandercrew6088]

Nah BPD is definitely way way worse, one of the worst things a human being can have and deal with. A literal nightmare to see people with BPD lose themselves and become monstrous. Shocking stuff I’ve seen, feel really bad for people with BPD because it is truly a curse.

[@xraeynex]

@xandercrew6088 There's no reason to call one mental disorder worse than another. BPD is hard, yes. But so is Bipolar and so is Schizoaffective or Schizophrenia. MDD can be debilitating, and so can anxiety. I don't see a point in listing one of them specifically as "the worst a person can go through" since every single diagnosis comes with its own struggles.

[@shirp6083]

something that's been sitting weird with me is how much talk there is of metal illness positivity or whatever we're calling it, but exactly as Khadija said it's for the more socially acceptable ones but not ever all mental illness. When I was newly diagnosed with bpd and adhd about a year ago, i went to a dinner with some friends and everyone was talking about how they had adhd and I was like "omg me too I just got diagnosed" and everyone thought that was so cool, but hours later someone's ex who had bpd came up and now everyone was talking about how people with bpd are "so abusive" and how they "just need to get therapy" (with absolutely no understanding of how difficult and expensive it is to get treatment for bpd). It felt so obvious that to some people it's cool and trendy to have adhd or whatever, but that doesn't extend to personality disorders etc. Incidentally I think may is bpd awareness month and I think there should be more talk about what it is because it definitely affects our relationships and how we act, but ultimately we're all different people and are responsible for our own lives and shouldn't only be seen as the worst parts of our illnesses. I will say I have gained useful tools from adhd influencers, I've benefitted from being able to tell people I have adhd since it's less stigmatized, I have self diagnosed with other things before putting in all the excruciating effort to get a professional diagnosis -- I don't think this stuff is all bad (against my bpd black and white thinking lmao) and just like Khadija said I think this ultimately goes to show the huge gaps in medical systems. One tip I have for anyone who relates is to seek out in person support groups, I think it's a really great resource that's often over looked

[@pollysshore2539]

In the 1970s - 90s people referred to this phenomenon as “high status v low status diagnoses”. There was a phenomenon among (wealthy/upper class) people with low status diagnoses that were self diagnosing with high status diagnoses because they felt like they were getting more time and attention from professionals. Unfortunately most of these professionals were actually anti psych and they often pushed patients away from correct diagnoses and helpful treatments in order to push them toward the new fad (that costed a fortune). I don’t see this changing anytime soon. Unfortunately there is still a widespread pop psychology monster that contributes to making some diagnoses (and treatments) more fashionable than others. Popular psych creates fads. That’s its function. This creates various types of stigmas and low v high status diagnoses. *edit for autocorrects and not enough caffeine

[@pollysshore2539]

I’ll stress this high v low status phenomenon also relates to treatments. Ex of a pop psych treatment fad today = EMDR. It’s sadly not the first time. EMDR is based on known pseudoscience. Most of the positive research on it shows a higher degree of bias than research for every other form of treatment and most of the positive research is done by people/groups that train others in EMDR. A lot of people report that it helped them with various diagnoses but research shows that it is primary helpful for people experiencing combat related PTSD - for 3 months. In America EMDR can cost a fortune. More people should be aware that the treatment has a 3 month shelf life for combat PTSD. Unfortunately they do not because it’s all the rage again. It’s a high status treatment and a celebrity fad.

[@KristinaVeshtort-Kask]

Every single day i am thankful that ive been born in a country that has free medical care, which allows me to go to a psychiatrist and get my prescription meds for just a couple of euros a month. My heart goes out to everyone who lives in countries with less access to medical services or paid medicine. I hope the tides will change soon

[@finervintage]

This is so real !! I think a lot of the time people think if they just get a diagnosis, the problem will go away. I get that it can be important to name things, but sometimes- for example, with diagnosing the cause of low back pain- getting a diagnosis makes outcomes WORSE than just treating the symptoms. Obviously this is not true for everything. But I appreciate the point you brought up about how you can pathologize something that's actually within the normal range of function/experience and it just makes things worse.

[@Beepboopbeepboopbeepboo]

Maybe I'm just a bit off the deep end, but I think sanity is often a social construct. I remember once my professor told me how in more spiritual countries ( ie. societies that believe in ghost etc. ) people who have auditory or visual hallucinations are considered blessed with otherworldly knowledge and often do better in life then people in America who are seen as abnormal. This mindset, that my mind, my paranoia, hallucinations, are my own kind of sanity and not a curse was pretty life changing. I think we often like to point at "good" or "bad" ways to be especially with sanity and I don't know if that is a healthy way to look at it. What is sane when no one defines it? What is sane when those who have defined it are colonial capitalists? I don't know. I don't have a lot of trust with people telling me how my brain should or shouldn't work. I like to know myself, and try not to compare. We all are trapped in our own heads just gotta love ourselves through it. And though my mind might be deemed "insane" to someone else, it is sane to me, for I have lived as no one else. Does this make sense? In a wider scope: sanity's definition is skewed in our society. How can we determine "normal" and why do we need to? Truly I believe everyone's mind is inherently unique and there isn't anything wrong with that. Note: I think certainly mental illness exists, as in unhealthy biological instances in the brain, or even further unhealthy trauma and pain which can lead to it. I deal with depression and mania that can come from nothing and last forever. Certainly there can be brains that have incredibly harmful mechanisms for the person attached. But I think entangled with this issue is a deeper western one of a "certain way to be" ya know? Tell me im crazy i guess

[@Erinsighs]

Woah girl. Psychologists can absolutely diagnose. I am one. Most of us just can't prescribe medication. Love everything else.

[@faithnomamiukor4932]

Yes I was surprised that she said this too. I’m getting a PhD in clinical psychology we are trained even more than other professionals to diagnose mental disorders. Yes with medication we do not prescribe but there are many mental illnesses where the gold standard treatment is therapy and not medication.

[@lamenia]

Just to clarify, psychologist diagnose but do not prescribe in most states. Psychologist do formal assessments. Psychiatrists often refer patients to psychologists for diagnostic assessment.

[@sleepykitty1985]

Right, I had my assessment done by a neuropsychologist.

[@karoliinalehtinen6701]

Where I live they don't diagnose and it could be the same in Canade where Khadija lives.

[@alpacafish1269]

@@sleepykitty1985 Not from the US but same.

[@Cathalina.O]

I've met an autistic person who after doing research on the topic felt identified and then went to get his clinical diagnose, it really helped him so there are some ways where self diagnose is not bad

[@Housewarmin]

"I have a little bit of the 'tism" is the new "I have OCD" Just because you do things that are a little quirky or different, does not mean you have autism.

[@russianbot8576]

i remember one time i was on a mod team of an online space, which splintered into two or three groups. but distinctly, one of the groups included all the members who had more intense mood/personality disorders, which fondly began to get called 'the asshole disorders' among us, because their intensity compared to depression and anxiety 1) did cause some strife, admittedly, and 2) was the most notable division line other than perhaps a slight difference in avg age. and yeah, this was years ago, but there was a pretty noticeable attitude that, like, yeah: people worry about and pay tons of homage and give lenience to mental health causing behaviours that may at first come off as excessive but isn't entirely under controlled circumstance... until the issue in question isn't anxiety, depression or some autistic behaviour-once it's escalated to personality disorder, esp borderline or antisocial or schizoid personalities, or even just avoidant, or meltdown-from-stress-pain autism, or schizophrenia flare ups, or even some times of unmedicated manic bipolar phases, suddenly the wheels come off. everyone very quickly pulls a 'but not like that' and 'having a mental disorder doesn't excuse behaviour'-and like yeah, it doesn't excuse, but it can make understanding why a suddenly fury is happening and people are saying shit they ought not to and will regret, during a moment where accusations are flying everywhere and shit is going down...? 'your mental health problem doesn't excuse behaviour' is a phrase that needs expansion: it doesn't excuse behaviour and certainly not repeat instances or patterns of shitty behaviour, but it certainly explains and should allow for some grace sometimes. anyway, i would love to go get a real diagnosis of what i am p sure is autism. unfortunately, finding psychs for autism who take adults is super hard, it takes many sessions and most psychologists will find out i disconnected from my bio family and will want to focus on that instead.

[@_kaleido]

I've suspected I've had autism since I was like 13-14, and nearly 10 years later I only just recently got diagnosed. It's one thing if a person watches a handful of TikToks and goes "wow I MUST have this disorder/illness" but in my experience most self-diagnosers have done a lot of research using professional resources and online assessments over the course of weeks, months, or even years

[@louise6268]

I was self diagnosed for 3 years before shelling out $1500 for an assessment at my local Autism Clinic. I received a diagnosis "without the shadow of a doubt" plus a couple more surprise diagnoses. I received a lot of "you don't look" and "you can't be" when I was self diagnosed, and post assessment, I can tell you most of those comments come from people who, in fact, have no freaking clue how autism and other neurodivergences actually present, or that it's just a normal variation in the human race. Functionally, what they actually mean is "shut up and get back in line." Also, recent studies suggest that autism self diagnosis tend to be accurate (T.A.M. McDonald, 2020) All of the pushback against self diagnoses and the tism jokes are just meant to make us doubt ourselves, make us think we don't qualify, and isolate us from ours peers. Just a repeat of our current existence. Plus ca change plus c'est pareil I'm tired of seeing people get mocked for trying to find a community, and then having to hear about the loneliness epidemic, IT'S 2 SIDES OF THE SAME COIN

[@bellaj5576]

The point about increase in self-diagnosis and decrease in the trust of healthcare professionals is so true, it's unfortunate but I notice it in myself as well. Self diagnosis feels more effective than putting yourself in the hands of people who don't care about you, but access to information is not equivalent to understanding or expertise. Certainly a conundrum. But as you said, compassion first!

[@angelthedemon666]

As someone with schizophrenia, I really appreciate your shout-out. And how you've brought up the stigma against us in the past. I wish more people online could say the same things, especially leftist KZbinrs who pretend to care about everyone, while continuing to perpetuate stigma against people with schizophrenia. If more people actually saw us as human beings, more of us could be open about our mental illness and find community easier.

[@rhynestone]

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression and MISdiagnosed with OCD as a teenager and it has taken over a DECADE to finally sort out what is actually the root of mental health troubles and it all started by talking to people with shared experiences who were diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. Years of research and continuous discussion with friends and with myself and an expensive as HELL diagnostic process and I’m only just finding the resources i need. Had my doctors and family cared more and were more educated i believe i would have been properly diagnosed a long ass time ago. Which would have helped my life in ways that present me can’t even begin to fathom. The resources and accommodations i have forgone and the traumas i have endured are staggering. Not to say I wouldn’t still have traumas (being neurodivergent pretty much guarantees trauma in life at some point). And I’m talking TRAUMA trauma. Like fucked up life shattering shit. All that to say, frankly I wish I’d self-diagnosed years ago, but I’m glad I did eventually because self-diagnosis led me to clinical diagnosis.

[@veramitchell3134]

I've got an official diagnosis for schizoaffective disorder but that's mostly for safety. It's affected me for years, before and after I got the official stamp. I need the diagnosis to access medical care for it. Also, the doubt from other people never ends. The most grating form of it is when you get on meds that work enough for overt symptoms to abate and people start thinking you're "cured" or that you were "faking it" as if you're supposed to just go off meds for a few weeks to reassure them you do in fact have a disorder. Sometimes I wonder about all of this. You can know all the stuff they teach in a college class but if you don't have that magical sheet paper people have fairly legitimate reasons to be suspicious. But it's still damn annoying and expensive to get the diploma and going to the library is free (for now).

[@hammockmogul2422]

operate with discernment is the best recommendation regarding mental health and social media

[@atay3322]

The health care issue feels like the trenches for me. I was diagnosed with a learning disability when i was a kid but it was in the early 2000s and my diagnosis wasn't a straightforward adhd or autism. Now as an adult who is trying to get an updated diagnosis to better help me in adult life, it has been a nightmare trying to get any kind of help.

[@pollyflores418]

This has been my year of Official Diagnosis I always knew there was something different about me mentally, physically and socially. I spent my teen years in mental hospitals was misdiagnosed with BPD, fibromyalgia, bipolar and ADHD. Throughout the process I self diagnosed as well, I thought I might have all the aforementioned issues as well as autism and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I just got done with a year of consulting experts, I finally have a proper diagnosis: Autism and EDS Self diagnosis should not be the be all end all of diagnosis, but it should be a part of it, every doctor should inform and consult their patients about the issues they are experiencing themselves and see them as part of a team of experts.

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

A lot of the “therapy speak” I’ve seen floating around isn’t even really from therapy in the first place, it’s actually either more like “vague self help speak” or “my therapist is sticking to everything in their old textbooks way too close and kinda using them as a crutch” speak. I think I have a bit of a different point on self diagnosis because the first person who I met who did that was actually my dad when he was trying to help me feel better about my brand new autism diagnosis. He ended up relating a lot to the stuff that he was reading when he was doing research on how to raise an autistic kid. Like “suddenly my entire childhood makes sense” levels of relating. I just wish that he’d explore beyond that someday, maybe finally find a coping mechanism that isn’t alcohol. I know it’s tough but there’s so many better ways to cope out there.

[@russianbot8576]

i wouldn't be watching this if it was anyone but khadija mbowe.

[@AW-hn6ro]

I self-diagnosed myself with BPD after watching a ton of med-circle videos, and when I started therapy I told her that I think I have BPD. After 3-4 sessions she told me that I do fit the criteria for BPD. I felt validated but also a small part of me thinks it’s just me trying to find an identity in something.

[@mellowthm566]

It irks me a bit in the context of autism, because within community with autistic people "self-diasgnosis" is not only common because of cost/access-especially with many struggling to work- but has been studied and found to be eerily accurate precisely because of many traits of autism and how they interact with diagnostic tools (estimated around 80%) . There are several barriers to formal diagnosis like communication difficulties/executive dysfunction (from likeIy being autistic), previous misdiagnosis which is common with non cis men or those who present stereotypically, and medical gaslighting (yes a specific not buzzword term) and resistance to assesment from docs. Doctors ofyen have a lot of bias and people of course have had terrible experiences (if i had a nickel for everytime someone is compared to a white autistic boy as the bar for diagnosis I'd probsbly be a homeowner). The health system has reams of problems. Self-diagnosis isn't a "better alternative" , there are risks and some autistic traits remain s barrier. Self diagnosis is just a sign the system isn't working or isn't designed for work for everyone. I took a year to accept I'm Audhd even if I'm not disgnosed formally and a lot of research,thought, and even consultation with therapists. Adhd diagnosis could get me meds (on a waitlist for a while now), autism evaluation gets me shit, medical stigma, barring from emigration and possibly denial of gender related care through law. And unfortunately i still get treated differently based on autistic traits whether I'm diagnosed or not and I always have. I still have to deal with disabiling parts whether it's in my medical record officially.😅 At this point medical staff clock me hard whether i want them to or not based on my sensory differences and stims. On other hand finding other neurodivergent friends is easier. It's like social media and irl are two different discourses le gasp. But also especially with autistic creators many don't think how the performative nature of being on camera is inherently masking. Or how those creators also have to produce with the selection bias of algorithms in mind and produce for a audience. We the audience reaaaally do not know creators and need to get checked on that. Also autistic creators get infantilized plus misogyny towards autistic women and minimized visibility of autistic people of color further distort perceptions. The shit is messy. Social media really do be a mirror fun house. Cool convo from khadija as expected. The therapy speak spike in my view is just capitalism and psychology's capitalists bias, leaning on each other to produce marketable discourse snd than linguistics take the wheel and bam new lexicon but with consequences weee. Very much reminds me of pop 2010s feminism and how that resulted in a reinforcement of white feminism and fun new words like girl boss /sarcasm.

[@lfrancis8980]

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[@Alex-ph5ir]

Such an excellent comment!

[@lilimuyunda5030]

Another thing is that the mind is so powerful...and it seems crazy, but sometimes, when we convince ourselves so surely of something, we are likely to actually adopt it.

[@KdinIsHere]

Finding a psychiatrist who is as engaging as a therapist and who fits for you is very hard. Lectures via HG and the KZbin bar stating "A licensed professional" or just do a simple google search of said doctor. Something I noticed is that some community circles have this concept that "healing and calibrating yourself for better health" is seen as a negative like betrayal from the diagnosis identity. :]

[@Bubblesthewitch]

Since you where coming at this from a ver pathologizing perspective I appreciate the fact that you didn’t use Neurodiversity related terminology. One of my biggest issues with how people talk about these issues is that people will use words like neurodivergent (although way more often they’ll say neurospicy) and then talk about their issues like it’s an illness. All that being said I don’t really think talking about self diagnosis without the framework of neurodiversity is particularly productive. The main argument many people hear as to why self diagnosis is bad is that it takes recourses away from diagnosed people or that it trivializes the condition for people more severely effected. In reality the only resource that self diagnosed people could be using up is the seemingly limited empathy of others. Policing diagnosis only normalizes the idea that any difference in the human brain from a perceived “normal” is innately a illness or disability. Our current medical systems are designed to gate keep any accommodations to only those who are not able to function and sufficiently mask their neurodivergence to the point where they are disabled for it. Again, not a bad video but this isn’t really a topic that can be properly explored without disability rights and Neurodiversity as a framework.

[@torijeri]

the whole part about Therapy Speak is so real. I’m seeing used more and more every day, I think one of the more recent ones i’ve seen is “Disassociate” which isn’t even how you spell it lmaoo “dissociate” is the one they use in therapy and phychology spaces. I think Bodies Bodies Bodies is one of the more recent films I’ve seen that touched on this exact thing and throughout the whole movie is just them using these terms and most of the time not knowing what it means. It’s also just such a funny movie.

[@definetlyNotRee]

I'm stoked about watching this video. I've dabbled in self-diagnosis myself but I have a deep-seated fear of actually "commiting to" these and talkning about them, because what if I'm wrong? Anyways, I usually put hours upon hours of watching different youtube videos and searching for online diagnostic tools and stuff into such a self-diagnosis. My main reason for self-diagnosing is trying to understand myself better, and, when necessary, looking into professional diagnosis and help. Which can be very difficult for accessability and financial reasons.

[@StraightArrowNews]

Where people get their information is so important! Thank you for collabing with us!

[@karoliinalehtinen6701]

I appreciate you opening discussion on this subject. Couple of points though. ADHD is not a mental illness or any other kind of illness. It is an identity, like autism, because it's an immutable neurological difference that effects every aspect of life - the way you think, the way you process information, the way you relate to the world and to other people. It's not inherently maladaptive or distressing, though it does make many things distressing that are not distressing to most neurotypical people. About self-diagnosis. You really can't get diagnosed with ADHD or autism as an adult without first self-diagnosing. I have never heard of any adult (and I know a lot of ADHD and autistic people) who went to psychologist because they didn't know what was causing their issues and was suggested that they have ADHD or autism without them ever considering it first. I'm sure I'm exaggerating, but for a lot of undiagnosed adults that how it goes. Also many undiagnosed ADHD and autistic people have deeply internalized that they are just lazy, dumb, rude and/or selfish and all their issues are self-inflicted, not symptoms of anything so they won't even seek any treatment. I was diagnosed after I had come to suspect I have ADHD and then for five years fought through a bureaucratic hell seemingly designed to be as hard as possible for ADHD symptoms specifically to even get to be assessed. If I didn't think I had ADHD I would have given up long before the assessment. I also want to pose you a question. You were somewhat critical of self-diagnosis, so how do you square that with doing peer diagnosis? How are you a better and more qualified to diagnose someone else with narcissistic personality disorder than people diagnosing themselves? Even qualified professionals are not allowed to diagnose people they haven't personally treated. I also don't think peer diagnosing people who are "straight up evil" with NPD helps at all with the stigma against personality disorders. Perfectly healthy people can be extremely abusive and mentally ill people, including those with NPD, are more likely to be targets of abuse than mentally well people. NPD is not evil people illness or abuser illness. There are absolutely abusive people who have NPD and like you said many people with severe mental illnesses can at times hurt those close to them. But NPD at it's core is a pathological need to be admired and loved combined with intense aversion to guilt and disappointment, which can lead to very manipulative behaviour, but even more so is very easy for abusers to manipulate and exploit. That's why while there are very abusive people with NPD, they are far more vulnerable to be victims of abuse. I do agree that the way mental illnesses and other neurodivergencies are discussed online is often counter-productive. I think the biggest issue though is the comfortability people have in peer diagnosing and pathologizing other people. I think that's what leads to the weaponization of therapy speak you talked about. People throw around words like narcissism without understanding them and dilute the meaning and even weaponize them. Pathologizing evil is a way to other it, distance yourself from it, since it's much easier to think that truly evil behaviour is an illness that *those* people have so you would never do something like that. Peer diagnosing also can mean peer diagnosing someone to not have the condition they claim to have. There's so many people confidently claiming they can say someone is faking their autism because the adult woman with autism is nothing like their 10 yo nephew, or someone is faking their DID because they are nothing like the murderer in the horror movie all based on a 2 minute clip. I don't doubt self-diagnosis can be counter-productive and even harmful, but in the internet I don't think we are entitled to each other's medical history, nor can know what information people have gathered and processes they have actually gone through, so policing people's mental health or neurodivergency or any other disability is not helpful or manageable. It only leads to peer diagnosis which is much more tangibly harmful and not just to one person but a lot of people, since it creates atmosphere of fear, shames people for their struggles, spreads misinformation, pathologizes immoral behavior and stigmatizes disabilities further.

[@twofriendsreact]

Great comment!

[@tara55886]

Don't necessarily agree that self-diagnosis is required first. I got diagnosed with ASD and ADHD after a severe mental health breakdown (one of many) and thus being referred to a psychiatrist. No self diagnosis was involved, these would have never crossed my mind and I was quite shocked when it was confirmed. Prior to this diagnosis, my previous partner told me he thought I had BPD and it seemed to fit and I used that to explain my severe depressive episodes and mood changes. Regardless, a correct diagnosis is imperitivew. The correct diagnosis from trained professionals, medication and therapy significantly improved my life and much less severe distressing mental health episodes.

[@karoliinalehtinen6701]

@@tara55886 As I said, "required" was exaggaration, but your experience seems to be in the minority. And I agree that it's really important to get the right diagnosis and treatment which does need professional assessment. But for many people you never get there without figuring it out yourself first. Also if getting professional diagnosis without self-diagnosis requires first being hospitalized after a mental breakdown, that's kinda fucked up. Like I don't think it's good it has to go so far for the professionals to take the diagnosis seriously. Seems better to me if situations like that can be prevented.

[@lfrancis8980]

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[@AnnekeOosterink]

Yes, the entire reason I was even aware that certain things were adhd symptoms/traits was because of social media posts, had I not seen them I would have gone on believing I was a lazy, messy, and uncaring person. The lists of "these traits are common among neurodivergent people/people with adhd" are the reason I went to get an official diagnosis. What I thought was normal and common was actually me checking every adhd box. And I never once saw any kind of specialist who suggested to me I could have adhd, I had to ask for an assessment.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

What people seem to forget is that every official diagnosis starts with a self-assessment, of your recognizing the signs and symptoms in yourself and coming forward to seek professional help. Due to the state of healthcare, particularly in places like the US, not everyone can afford to do this. So disparaging self-diagnosis is not only gatekeeping, it's also classism. It reminds me of how transmedicalists gatekeep transness along class and often racial lines.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

I would also add that me seeing people with adhd listing common adhd traits made me reassess what I thought was normal. I vaguely knew adhd wasn't as simple as the restless little boy, but I didn't really know other symptoms or anything. Videos with "things people with adhd do a lot" and "if you do all these things you might not be neurotypical" actually helped me, it made me realise that no actually, it is not common or normal to have 20 trains of thought running at all times, it is not typical to be unable to estimate how long things will take, it is not common to be so focused on something you miss half a day. I had no idea. I thought I was simple bad at certain things, and lazy and so many other things people told me over the years. Those videos and tumblr posts etc are what made me even aware of the symptoms of adhd in the first place. If I hadn't seen those posts I would have continued thinking I was neurotypical but lazy. Now I know that I actually have adhd, and pursued an official diagnosis because of that.

[@KatherineKoepke]

@@AnnekeOosterink Yes! I had the same experience and finally got my diagnosis at 18 years old. Its still hard for me to believe I actually have it even with the diagnosis because I’ve been told my whole life it’s just laziness, so having people online saying that it’s not just a personal failure really helps. Good luck in your journey!

[@Sprinklgrl]

Its funny cuz the biggest cause of mental illness symptoms rn is overuse of phones and media/content addiction

[@LethalLemonLime]

This. "Mental health matters" but only the tolerable type. The way people in my life/around me have talked about me because of my mental illnesses and blame me for it is proof of that.

[@cfrydlewicz]

I've been informally diagnosed off the record by multiple doctors for autism, but I don't want that anywhere on my medical records or insurance because of discrimination. There are not enough accommodations available in the U.S. for me to take all the L's to ask for the few tiny things offered.

[@sewgeekdesigns9113]

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 13, I went to therapy and hated it. Now at 36 I found out I was misdiagnosed with autism. I have been working through my trauma and I’m better. I would do counseling and I found that to be great ❤

[@sophdog2564]

I feel like part of the self diagnosis issue is that if implies that you've come to a conclusion. It's one thing to suspect you have a disorder and see a doctor about it, or not see a doctor about it if you can't or don't want to, i suppose. But if you are to a point of calling it a diagnosis, it makes me worry that people aren't willing to accept if their symptoms are actually for something else. I see posts on adhd subreddits where people are saying that they finally went to a doctor who actually diagnosed them with something else and saying that the dictor was clearly wrong. Of course, you should seek a second opinion if you think the first doctor got it wrong (especially if they said something like "you don't have autism because you can make eye contact" or "you're too smart to have adhd"), but I think there needs to be a willingness to accept that your self diagnosis was incorrect. When I got diagnosed with ADHD, I first thought I had depression and told my pediatrician. He gave me antidepressants they sucked ass and didn't do anything. I railroaded myself away from the correct diagnosis because I tried to figure it out myself (I also recognize that the doctor in question wasn't great for listening to a teenager at face value. He also had other issues.) I think if you suspect you have a mental health disorder, the best thing you can do to figure out what it is is to go to a specialist and tell them your symptoms. ADHD can look a little like Borderline Personality Disorder in some circumstances (and vice versa). According to the doctor who diagnosed my brother with autism, ADHD + anxiety needed to be ruled out first because the symptoms of those two combined can look like autism externally, but are caused by difficult things, and will have different treatments and support needs. Anecdotally, I have ADHD + anxiety and some people close to me have thought that it might be autism. I trust my psychiatrist though, and I scored pretty low on the raads-r test when I finally got curious enough to take it. I guess my biggest concern is the "What if you're wrong?" Are you willing to accept that it's something else? The other concern is what if you're wrong and it's something much more serious? My mom's "adult onset adhd" turned out to be the kind of sleep apnea that doesn't wake you up when you stop breathing. Another time she described to me what sounded very much like my experience with adhd. It was a blood sugar drop because she has diabetes and hadn't been able to access her meds.

[@ordinaryhand]

recently i've been seriously thinking i may be autistic. i'm in my 40s but this would explain a lot of things about my life and the way i relate to people. i'm not going to seek out a diagnosis though. like most things about the human mind i actually believe what's called neurodiversity is not a binary but a spectrum. i'm not really interested in setting myself apart from people (as that is what happens when people build an identity on other people's terms) but exploring what it means that we're all different shades of weird. i dunno. it's just kind of a relief to have a vocabulary i could use to potentially explain my inner workings to people. unfortunately this would come in handy mostly for apologies (like when i isolate myself when i'm overwhelmed). i don't support self-diagnosis especially on tiktok because i think a lot of people spiral that way. but it's been helpful for me to reflect on my patterns, know that others experience them similarly, and use what i learn to understand myself better... while accepting that we all struggle with different things in different ways, visible or not.

[@Universal_Pig]

i’m around the same age and from reading your comment, i think we think along the same lines about this stuff. A “professional diagnosis” would leave me with zero money in my incredibly meagre savings. while weighing up whether it would be worth pursuing nevertheless, it struck me that the main thing a diagnosis would provide relief from the shame i feel about being ‘different’ and the consequences of that. and why would i need to drop 800 quid when self acceptance for those differences is something i can create myself for free?

[@roxannelilymaria2581]

Also around the same age and at this stage, after years of research and educating myself, I'm almost convinced I'm audhd. It just doesn't make sense to be anything else. I live it everyday and have those struggles, every single day. I'm on the waiting list for diagnosis, but at this point I'm comfortable having the vocabulary to explain, when needed, why I'm not exhibiting "typical" behaviour. It's also reassuring to know I'm not alone in this limbo state. It'd be validating for an official diagnosis, but what's more important is my fundamental understanding of how my brain operates, and how I can hack life best in order to be able to cope in this world.

[@lemony7]

I feel like it's a good thing that this vocabulary is now widespread and available to everyone, even if it gets used incorrectly. This video feels like a good reminder that just because a person uses a certain vocabulary doesn't make them more right. It's the idea that that person's words are conveying that matters. You can use the biggest, fanciest, most official sounding language out there, but if what you're saying with those words is wrong, vocabulary isn't going to fix that

[@lindseytheartist]

Can folks please stop calling autism a mental illness? It's a developmental disability. Autistics have a different type of brain, not an illness in an otherwise healthy brain. Discovering that you are autistic and that your brain is just different - not sick, or broken, or in need of fixing - is a great relief and can be very empowering.

[@ciciciciciclala]

The funniest part of the amanda interview was how she tried to use her own academic credit to undermine the credibility of academics. Besides, I think self diagnosing is OK under certain circumstances, but they don't apply (I think) to Amanda. At least, isn't she rich and influential enough to acquire suitable health care? Maybe even go the extra length to find a black female psychologist? Loved your video btw, people go mad swinging around complex mental health disorders like narcissism. Forgetting and ignoring that people with perfect mental health can just as well be assholes

[@Miyananana]

Narcissism/narcissist has been so weaponized in therapy and pop psychology that some psychologists are wondering if it should be removed as a diagnosis. They think it’s often another personality disorder that is misdiagnosed and focused on the narcissist aspect rather than the whole.

[@ItsAllNunya]

Okay, but I have NPD, not another pd outside of comorbidity. This is like them trying to take DID out of the dsm s l o w l y even though systems exist like we're right here. We have DID they can't ignore it, it's cope. I dont have BPD. i have NPD. maybe others should stop being ableist, instead of catastrophizing and removing a diagnosis that is important and fits best for a lot of people lol.

[@quinnm.3127]

what we should be doing is talking about the victims of narcissists... they need to be heard.

[@ItsAllNunya]

@@quinnm.3127 "victims of narcissists" are so overrepresented that no, no they don't, because they're screaming at the top of their lungs that people with npd should never be heard and thats monstrously abusive on a systemic level.

[@flowerpower250]

This video is so so so good. This has been on my mind for a long time. The therapy term people misuses that grinds my gears is ‘trauma bonding’. It does not mean bonding with someone over shared traumatic experiences. It describes an abuse tactic abusers use to trap their victims in a confusing cycle of violence.

[@cafesoftie]

Counter point to diagnosis accuracy: needing hormones Most doctors still deny HRT to folks, because so many standards are out of date and, hell, it's still criminalized in places and extremely gatekept. One of the most important pieces of advice i could give to a trans femme of any kind is to simply lie to get access to hormones and surgery. You can't say "im not sure if im a boy or a girl, but I'd like estrogen" they'll just deny you, unless they practice informed consent. Don't even get me started on surgery. I didn't make that same mistake for surgery i straight up lied and i have no regrets. I was way too scared to tell any truths, when it was so difficult to get approved for surgery. Self diagnosis is also about acceptance. But there is nuance. Adhd and autism are pretty safe, as long as folks don't weaponize them against others or to shield against productive criticism. But things like bipolar etc. someone could risk going down a rabbit hole of insecurity. Hmmm so really, only do self diagnosis if it leads to helping you, otherwise, ignore the diagnosis and, wait, and see a dang doctor.

[@cladthecrab]

On the topic of treatment avoidance: I think dated diagnostic criteria is another issue, in line with distrust of the medical system. Some people will seek care, but struggle to get diagnosed and treated in a way that helps them, especially if there are behavioral assumptions or gender stereotypes informing diagnosis. For perspective, I started treatment when I was 15-16. Since I was an AFAB with trauma who self-harmed, a psych ward had a BPD differential diagnosis in my chart, so I got diagnosed pretty fast. Since I was on meds, I was consistently treated since then, but I was like 28 before I got tested and diagnosed with ADHD. I learned soon after that many AFABs aren't diagnosed until adulthood, often after their children receive a diagnosis. I've read similar things happen with autism, because the ways we've understood neurodivergence are things that were observed more often in boys/men, and so I think a lot of people (particularly if you have shit insurance or are in a community without a lot of mental health providers qualified to diagnose) feel they have to give up and educate themselves. Also worth mentioning: I know some folks who are under the trans umbrella and won't seek an autism diagnosis because they are concerned that, in our current political climate, that could cause medical discrimination including barriers to accessing gender-affirming care. So I've seen folks say "this is probably me, but I don't want this in my chart, and there's no benefit to getting a rubber stamp." So sometimes there are these political dimensions when you weigh different aspects of how/if to medicalize yourself, and I think your suggestion of a holistic approach can offset our need to feel like we *have* to be validated by the medical community to find something that helps us make sense of our experiences.

[@worshipmewatermelon1231]

Thank you thank you. As an officially diagnosed autistic person there really has been a trend with self diagnosis and no one can seem to talk about it in a nuanced way. Yes, there are huge access barriers and even discrimination with who gets a diagnosis. Im sympathetic to that and the fact that there are likely many autistic people who are not officially diagnosed. But the online autistic community is often very exclusionary to actual autistic people because many of these folks are identity seeking or lining up symptoms with stuff they saw online (and common symptoms of level 1 ASD overlap a LOT with other mental health conditions) and so when they are confronted with the reality that most diagnosed autistic people cannot live independently or hold down employment, or many many are intelectually disabled, they suddenly want to distance themselves from that. Like, 'oh, im not that kind of autistic'. They are seeking an identity in a diagnosis that doesnt necessarily fit and then warping the term to create their own community with it. But as a result, they are excluding the more marginalized members of the autistic community who are actually diagnosed. While im sure a lot of people have found comfort in this community, and im not here to say that people definititively are or aren't autistic, people often get very hostile when you try to tell them that self diagnosis can be harmful because they've been burned so much by the medical system.

[@ohhmangos]

Exactly!! I have ADHD officially diagnosed. According to people on TikTok, I don't have ADHD, I have Autism. I've been evaluated-- I'm not Autistic. But people online can't always differentiate between the two and since they are so similar, it leads to a lot of false information and excluding people who are officially diagnosed which is incredibly isolating.

[@AnnaCatherineB]

Psychology is too complex to actually be able to fit people into tiny boxes like this. The differenciation between adhd and autism exists for prescription and insurance purposes. That doesnt make the distinction or the boxes real. If you suspect you might also have autism in addition to adhd, please get reevaluated. If you think ypu deen struggling with a few autistic traits and could be helped by how autistic people express or process those experiences, try out those techniques and see if they work for you. I also recommend looking to research into monotropism, which explains the overlap between adhd and autism, both in traits and diagnosis.

[@user-et3xn2jm1u]

Yeah people punch down a lot about these things. If you are stealing the spotlight from someone who needs it more: stop it. Autistics who have an easier time should be trying to extend that same level of wellbeing to autistics who have a harder time, not trying to draw a line in the sand between "acceptable" and "unacceptable" autistics which is MEGA yikes to do. It's inevitable to a degree because society and history and things, but also, it won't stop without people becoming more aware of the problem in the first place or being called out for it.

[@LangkeeLongkee]

I would like the point out, you talk about needing nuance and all that, and not saying people aren't autistic or anything but you yourself made a distinction between "actual autistic" people so you contradicted yourself there. Also yes a large amount of diagnosed autistic need and receive a lot of care but this is where you have to interrogate things further. Like statistics on autistic people who work full time would be skewed because many people who are able to work full-time could be undiagnosed by choice, unable to be diagnosed maybe even because they work or don't even know they're autistic. The truth is we don't kno that much about autism cause it's difficult to study. It's so broad, and varied and basically never exists in isolation (I will avoid hard fats definitive statements but I wonder how many autistic people truly only have autism being the only condition affecting their lives, it's very very very VERY unlikely to occur that way).

[@alpacafish1269]

A lot of online autistic people, from what I know, ARE medically diagnosed... Also what do you mean by "actually autistic"? I'm assuming you mean to say that self-diagnosed individuals aren't actually autistic and if so how do you know?