The Dangers of Untreated Borderline Personality Disorder

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Monday, August 7, 2023 8/7/23
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[@Anythingwilldo296]

It’s horrendous destroying people you are supposed to love

[@wyattbrule12688]

Why are some people destroyed while others are not? It has to do with your own self esteem and proclivity to take things personally. Typically those who depend on others for their feelings and happiness are the ones who get hurt the most. They blame others for their hurt feelings. They could choose to take something personally, or they could choose to regard the person with BPD as someone who is mentally ill and needs help. If someone is mentally ill, why would one take it personally when they act out their mental illness?

[@Anythingwilldo296]

@@wyattbrule12688 cause = reaction

[@cajuncrackerranch7990]

Yes. I had to walk away and lose it all. They will ruin and destroy everything even the children. Do not put someone else’s health and well being before your own. No matter how much Hope faith love compassion or empathy you think you have to give. When it’s out, it’s out. Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️

[@positiveparentingwithastro8044]

That is what I had to do. I knew that if I stayed I faced a lifetime of betrayal trauma. I deserved so much better. In fact, I said to my ex, "I deserve so much better than this" and he replied, "Yes, you do. " Then he acted shocked when I left.

[@wyattbrule12688]

how do you know what you deserve? Don’t the mentally ill deserve to be regarded as human beings with mental illness? Keyword: illness. Sounds like you took the symptoms of a sick person’s illness personally. Doesn’t that sick person deserve better than you? How you regard someone’s behavior is more a reflection of what’s going on in your heart than what’s wrong with them. If you had a parent that developed dementia and their behavior became irrational and erratic, would you abandon your own parent, or try to get them help, while still loving them unconditionally? Seems like a wild concept, doesn’t it?

[@bluecoffee8414]

​@positiveparentingwithastro8044 let me play the tape forward for you. I watched my father, a very successful, tall, kind, good looking, loyal man, for some incomprehensible reason stay married to my raging BPD mother who turned him into a breadcrumb-starved, shut-down, doormat. And then he dropped dead. That's what you are "missing out" on. How my father could be such a catch and so successful career wise yet be a pathetic doormat at home I'll never know. When he died, I cleaned out his closets. He acted calm aka shut down most of the time. but he had this habit when stressed with my mom's endless stream of criticism and contemptuous behaviour - he would sort of scratch a part on his chest like a self soothing thing. He had dozens of button down shirts. every. single. one of his shirts had these ingrained claw-marks on them. Please, please never go back.

[@cajuncrackerranch7990]

@@bluecoffee8414 never!

[@cajuncrackerranch7990]

@@positiveparentingwithastro8044 it is a spiritual battle of the soul; armor up and roll out! There is no other positive alternative. ✌️

[@dannywholuv]

I heard alot that go to therapy fall out with the therapist and accuse them of all sorts. Good luck to the therapist!

[@taniac4063]

I went with bpd ex and he started calling therapist a prick and walking off as they hate being confronted

[@amari2aj553]

Omg I talked with my co worker last night about his wife I think she has bpd she went to therapy and fell out with the therapist because she called my co worker handsome and stopped going to her sessions

[@littlelily4]

It's not nice but it is necessary And if you are willing to change everything is possible I think one day I will kiss this horrible attachement disease goodbye

[@jo-annahicks3324]

I have also seen this dynamic played out with Medical Doctors as well

[@susanc.2010]

Narcissists are not rare they are everywhere!

[@jamiecowling2934]

RUN!

[@wendysuarez8076]

Thank you for informing us. My ex had a horrible condition where he constantly accused me of things I didn't do, lied to me and was so mean and disrespectful to me. He was delusional and denied he had a problem, instead he "diagnosed" me with everything HE had. He denied and deflected, didn't take accountability for any pain he caused. It is over now but the pain still lingers in me. This is not my pain, it's HIS and he dumped it onto me

[@danielleagius9989]

i can relate to every word. you’re not alone xx

[@babypanda3630]

Omg! I saw this comment and I thought I had written this and looked at your handle to see if it was me who wrote it. I had the same experience with my ex. 😢😢 I'm finally free of him 6 months now but I'm still hurting.

[@adm6785]

Sounds like you dumped his pain back in his lap since the relationship has now ended. You may have been victimized, but you're no longer a victim...... unless you're getting something out of it? He never had and never will have the ability to love or be accountable, so there's no point in being angry or hurt anymore. You're only hurting yourself. Been there, done that. Wasted a lot of years trying to make sense of the senseless. Time I'll never get back. 😥

[@MrFingerz14]

My advice, if you truly hate yourself then date a untreated pwBPD. By far the most painful & confusing experience of my life.

[@daviscameron1]

It’s like caring for an abusive child that blames you & hates you for trying to understand what’s going on initially, help them & show care & love…it’s impossible it can not be cured. My bpd ex was violent, threatened people, over dosed, vandalised private neighbours property, gaslight, etc …asked me to marry her & 2 days later reported me to the police & lied to them about her 20yr history of MI…be cause I reached out to her doctors & family for help and treatment for her diagnosed bpd…it was an horrific experience…that nearly destroyed me, I’m lucky I’m out.

[@jeremyleis]

I'm going through the same thing with my child and it's so hard when you want to help them and care for them and All they seem to do is sabatge everything wow I wish us both luck with these on goings ~ maybe educating ourselves is the only way to go anyway i saw your comment and had to reach out ~ i truly wish you lots of strength and peace at this time and somehow get to triumph over these challenges, take care gina

[@dagnytaggart5216]

@@jeremyleisMy homeless BPD daughter just called me the other night begging to come home. It’s the middle of winter and it’s hard to think that I’m telling my own daughter to just suffer in the cold. But, I had to stick to “No.”

[@littlelily4]

It can be cured, contrary to npd for instance

[@AprilSunshine]

Thank you for helping spread compassionate but realistic education on BPD! This disorder, untreated, is no joke. It shattered my family and killed my mom. 💔

[@deselby6669]

I comprehend all you have said..Have experienced similar.. take care

[@dgh4229]

I agree with you brother. A person has to hit rock-bottom before they see it’s time to make a change. Enabling someone only delays that critical moment of change.

[@mommy1465]

Thank you so much for your videos. I was with a guy who had BPD for four years, I had a hunch from the very beginning that he was borderline, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions too early. Everything that you said has happened in that for years, push and pull, ghosting, accusations, I even went so far in the very beginning before we were even a couple to delete all my social media because he had an issue with my business Instagram account. Yet oddly enough, he has never ever gotten rid of any of his social media. He refuses to acknowledge that he needs therapy. Instead, he uses his illness as a crutch, and he’s constantly making excuses as to why others are the reason for his illness. It’s draining and mentally exhausting for those of us who have a borderline in our lives. Most of us are very tolerant, and willing to give to the point of sacrificing ourselves, but at some point, unless they are willing to seek therapy, no contact is the best avenue and is the Avenue that I am on right now and have been for the last five months. For the first time in over four years, I finally am feeling lighter, educating myself via videos like yours are helping immensely.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

It's really better to set boundaries with these personality types. They don't respect people who keep giving them what they want. You don't get anything out of it. But when you set boundaries and leave, if they really want to straighten up, they will. If not, they walk. And that's not a bad thing. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives.

[@sharedjoys390]

5-6 years out and it is still an internal struggle for me some days are good some days are bad. 17 years and 3 kids later…and I didn’t even suspect anything like this until the end and I began looking back seeing all the things I ignored over the years and went searching for what I was living bc it was mind boggling. You are right they will destroy everything and anyone without any care or sympathy, it’s just another Friday for them! It’s really sad for the kids most of all though and I often wonder if my kids have it as well or at least parts bc of the dna. No contact has been the only saving grace for me. I tried the coparenting and the friendly thing through the years following the divorce and boy oh boy that time was worse than the whole relationship! All we can do is Take it day by day and be extra good and easy on yourself. Prayers for all that have been affected by this horrible disorder.

[@karlgaiser9783]

Why does the Terminator get so well along with Borderliners? - He tells them: "I'll be back!"

[@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl]

😂😂 I'm sorry but that was both funny and sad at the same time

[@karlgaiser9783]

@@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl Thank you for that, it means a lot. You know I am German and we have a problem with being funny and come up with good jokes.

[@8888-w1l]

Take up running and do not look back.

[@martingd777]

13:13 - “Borderline is developed in childhood ✅ It’s then left untreated in adulthood 🥺 The person most likely to get help with mental illness are those with people in their lives who wont tolerate or enable the behaviours.” Such classic sad cliche. But from experience the worst losses invoke the biggest response to getting help and sticking with it. One does try before this sad event but there is something about the tragedy that seals commitment to betterness.

[@thatchzembo1001]

Thanks for your talks David I'm finding them helpful in validating my struggle with people in my life who exhibit these chronic behaviors. As I've grown healthier mentally over time and become more resistant to the triggering & manipulation of these people, their BPD began to reveal their more histrionic & psychopathic aspects. Although my "no contact" approach has been liberating I still struggle with the codependent nature of these relationships. I know now the only mistake I made was ignoring the warning signs, being complacent and allowing it to disturb my physical and mental peace. Isolating yourself from psycho-drama is more and more heartbreaking the deeper you allow it's hook inside.

[@ohmegah00]

I want to tell you David that once you helped me get out of that spell my ex bpd had on me. You said something in a q&a that at the time a few years ago pissed me off because you said it in a tough love kind of way. But I tell you now it woke me up. I have today no feelings or desires what so ever for her and I consider her a very ill and untreated individual. So thank you David for pissing me off at the right time 😅

[@SAMCRO21]

What did he say?

[@Ben-pd2bx]

What'd he say, man? Come on.

[@jentommyontheroad8089]

It seems that the black & white thinking often keeps them from sticking with treatment. As soon as they start to feel better then they don’t need help anymore…or the therapist that was all good is suddenly all bad and they leave therapy. I have experience with two people with bpd (male & female) and have seen this issue in both cases. In both cases I eventually had to go no contact to keep from losing myself. Heartbreaking!

[@LR-yu3mx]

Was married to one for many years..refused help. Hypochondric, but stable in job. No addiction. (Both his parents were alchoh0olics.)Rages about 1 or 2 a year.Scary) But refused treatment. At 60 became psychotic, was in clinic for a month. 2 weeks later he died cardiac. Not easy life with a Bl.

[@cindyc]

I really wish that "professionals" in the field would recognize that every borderline has friends, family, and romantic interests, and therefore this disorder, along with all of the cluster b disorders, touches way more people than they realize.

[@barb7124]

Lots of therapists do not want to work with them, also there are many who "do not like" that diagnosis

[@reneegardner2286]

definitely, I got a diagnosis then afterwards they said sorry we can't see you here anymore bc we don't treat that here

[@Psychwardetiquette]

I’m worse. Much worse but I have comorbidites Diagnosed in 2009 and now in 2023 it’s worse. Yep. All the disorders you mentioned 😂 You have the best channel on this disorder 👍

[@rainbeau9752]

also, the people who do not get help are those with low income health care not given the proper care they desperately seek.

[@Fabian6980]

Yup same with adhd as a child. If left untreated it can turn to psychopathy or sociopathy

[@blub-tf6rt]

No🤡🤡

[@PaulaB44]

I really appreciate the way you communicate BPD information. Thank you so much for making these videos!

[@herbertashby7009]

Thank you for spreading this information

[@ChristopherSmith-cn9uo]

I’ve been researching BPD because I thought my girlfriend was either a narcissist or has bpd and now that I am fully aware of what bpd is, I think I am the one with bpd. I am freaking tf out right now

[@returnoftheromans6726]

Dang, that sucks, bro! Hope you see a therapist to know for sure. I think I might have it; self-diagnosed, but still need actual confirmation from a therapist. It's going to be a long road.

[@luciamixon4156]

Amazing channel. Its too late for my original family. I'm still.processing at 61. I know it wasn't me but so much wasted life. August Osage County movie with Julia Roberts is so relatable the horror. I lean on Jesus to try to make sense of it. Life. God bless those damaged and the bereaved. Amen.

[@TysonTom1622]

I have basically all the symptoms of it but I never try to manipulate if anything with anybody I try to understand. I made a video on my undiagnosed BPD and I do want help and your advice has helped me seek that…. I am so sick of how I feel and I will always try to not judge anybody, your advice is straight forward and I’m glad there are people like you.

[@chamuuemura5314]

3:45 yes, cyclical indeed. A former friend is 3rd generation single mother and the daughter’s the worst of the bunch. Raised w.out a father since 3yo and 3 generations of matriarchs above her. Now she’s 12 and misbehaving badly, making false accusations against classmates but completely believed by the matriarchs who abuse the teachers to get them to discipline the alleged perpetrators. On the other hand, I know a couple refugees who got CBT for years, and they disciplined their daughter when she started exhibiting the same type of behavior at 4yo. Now she’s 13 and has no problems with classmates and her parents are on good terms with the teachers. So the cycle can be broken with help. It definitely requires self awareness.

[@emilytaylor1001]

Thank you David for a video! 🌿☀️😊

[@jonathonpearsonalienshooter]

I love you I'm from scottland and as far as I'm concerned everyone from heer has a cluster B / cluster A personality disorder I am so so glad the world's attitudes are finally changing. This is evident with all the information that is exploding on KZbin, so .....ther mite be hope fir me and all the others. Iv been living with this undiagnosed for nearly 30 years (or so I think) Ps....what this man is saying is correct! If you neglect and suppress your borderline personality disorder it is will developed into antisocial personality disorder! And in my opinion I believe this is far far more likely if you are a man with borderline I am absolutely speechless, filled with joy , on the verge if tears , and absolutely hate ridden and rage full! Obviously I'm sorry Thanku

[@orionism42]

lol

[@JourneytoBabyC]

How many people with BPD can manipulate their therapist just because they don’t want the diagnoses of BPD? I feel like my mom has remained undiagnosed bc she is very good at manipulating.

[@mjchristie100]

Accessing help for bdp isn't possible in the uk. Ive only had 10 psychology sessions and you're talking about several years of treatment being needed. I feel at a huge loss here!

[@Pridegirl73]

My wife has BPD, untreated. She is the absolute love of my life; I would do absolutely anything to see that girl smile... To make her happy, she left me almost 2 years ago and I have still not recovered. We talk every day which isnt helping but not knowing how she is was killing me too. I just don't know what to do. She says she loves me and wants me back, but we never even see one another, and I feel like there is always someone else in the background waiting to take my place. I am now sick, my health is in rapid decline, I am depressed beyond measure, and I almost feel like she left me and her borderline as she walked out the door. Someone please help me; I don't want to die alone.

[@amari2aj553]

She's the drug that's killing you you have to be strong enough to let go she does the things she's doing because you are allowing it

[@danielleagius9989]

you will get through this. take each day as it comes. you can do this xxx

[@blub-tf6rt]

Shes sleeping around and talk smack about you.

[@danielleagius9989]

@@blub-tf6rt very helpful reply. NOT

[@MrFingerz14]

If she remains untreated there’s no hope of a heathy relationship. They’re mentally ill and incapable of forming heathy attachments or loving anyone in a traditional way. They’ll always without fail end in one of two ways if they remain untreated no matter what you do or how you treat them. They’ll either eventually devalue you and then discard you for someone else. Or they’ll eventually devalue you then stick around to make your life a living hell, until you’re forced to end it to save yourself. I’m sorry you’re going through this, truly. I was only with mine for 7 months and she destroyed me. You have to realize this wasn’t your fault this happened, nor mine, or anyone who’s been involved with a pwBPD. They have a serious mental illness which makes these relationships impossible. They need therapy and they need to want to get better. Without it, they’re doomed to repeat the same toxic cycle with everyone they have a relationship with.

[@viktoriavandermeulen5509]

Hi David, I am a person living with BPD and HPD. What I love most about this video is how empathic and passionate you are about borderline people pd. yes, I do agree it’s very complicated and very difficult. I will be back later I just need to sleep now. I already took my medication.

[@darthvader78441]

My ex pwBPD is surrounded by sycophant enablers. His toxic behaviour is supported. He will never seek treatment because hes wealthy. Tey telling a millionaire property developer that their behaviour is unacceptable, i did and he laughed in my face. Brilliant video, David

[@galaxy98765]

I'm glad you told him anyway. He needed to hear it. Maybe he thought about what you said later when he was by himself. Hopefully. I hear you. My ex BPD is a millionaire several times over. Far too many people, rich or not, with and without bpd and/or npd are just so full of themselves it's mind boggling.

[@galaxy98765]

Thank you so much for these videos. I got discarded a year ago by a man with a serious case of explosive, impulsive BPD. I'm sure that's what he has, after all my research, but he has not been diagnosed. The thing I don't understand is how he and his wife, who died six years ago, stayed married for 48 years, until she died. I don't think they were happy, he said they fought "daily". Maybe they stayed together because he earned $350,000.00 per year. Maybe she was a narcissist. I've heard that Narcs are the only people that borderlines like. She did tell him that she could never be married to anyone who made less than $250,000.00 per year. He is 71 years old already. I tried to encourage him to get help, but he's not going to. He just likes to sit and complain about how miserable he is. Being that he is 71, I'm not sure anyway, if he has time to go to therapy and wait ten years till he feels better, but I didn't tell him this. I guess you can't help people who refuse to help themselves. He is now in total isolation, which he thinks is what he needs, because he doesn't like anyone. I still think about him, but I am, for the most part, taking care of myself. Like you said, "love ourselves first". I am now free of having to listen to him endlessly talk about how wonderful his dead wife was, and how other people have wronged him. I am free! And because of all my research, and videos like yours, I hope I will be able to spot the next BPD and NPD who tries to weasel his way into my life, and to STOP THEM AT THE STARTING GATE. Thank you.

[@rorywright5692]

My husband passed away two years ago. He would of been 77 today. I got stung by a w@S. today! Stung like hell, so did he! Lol

[@richardthompson2563]

Huh? What does this mean?

[@rorywright5692]

@@richardthompson2563 I got stung by a wasp. It hurt just like he hurt me! Sorry, didn’t spell wasp out

[@rorywright5692]

@@richardthompson2563 I answered you but it disappeared! I got stung by a bug, and that’s what my husbands abuse felt like! Maybe You Tube doesn’t want me to use the word W@sp!

[@drstrangelove4998]

Story of my last three years living with a borderline, explosive emotional responses to the most innocent and innocuous talk. Lack of identity, she was always telling me that she was an artist, she was, as if I didn’t know or acknowledge this, and she had to keep reminding herself she was.

[@patty8945]

Very realistic video. Thank you.

[@bluecoffee8414]

Thank you for your great content. I hope to h#ll that its primarily cyclical rather than genetic. my mother's hourly mood swings and rages straight out of the movie "Mother Dearest wire hanger" scene was so damaging to our entire family. my fear that my daughter could inherit this purely genetically is almost unbearable to contemplate. my partner and I work with great dedication on ourselves to provide a stable, safe, calm and predictable environment for our daughter. I almost ASPIRE to be somewhat boring. I just want her to feel safe, loved and listened to.

[@ChristopherSmith-cn9uo]

If you ever want to do an interview of my research/university level forensic psychology studies of learning about bpd and narcissism trying to determine if my girlfriend has bpd or bpd only to realize that I think I am the one who has bpd.

[@summerbreeze3414]

Celebrities that have bpd are too ashamed to come out and say so and I guess I cant blame them. Funny the one's with Autism Spectrum disorder which btw is most times diagnosed by themselves seem super proud of having it.

[@Alphacentauri819]

Pete Davidson has been quite honest about his. Autism doesn't seem to have quite the stigma that BPD does. While some with autism can't function well in our society, there are many that do. Engineers, professors, computer specialists, doctors, etc are often on the spectrum. See people like Elon Musk etc. People with BPD often cannot achieve that type of success. Not because they aren't intellectually intelligent (many often are), but that their emotional dyregulation takes over and sabotages so much. Also, while both issue affect relationships, they act very differently. Those who have BPD are often clamoring for validation, approval, scanning for any perceived rejection...and people on the autism spectrum often don't care as much. They can be sensitive to criticism (real or perceived) but seem to have enough special interests to fall back on, be pre-occupied, that they don't engage in quite the level of desperate relational, pursuing, aggressive behaviors that someone with BPD does. BPD is more pervasively destructive. The person I know (and have been affected by) who has BPD, cannot keep a job, has had many car wrecks/tickets, has been in jail, drug addiction, had children removed, been involved in smear campaigns, lies, threatens... and the person on the spectrum is a well respected doctor (for decades) pays his bills, tries to do the right thing, is rarely dishonest (sometimes has been honest in ways society doesn't support, but I find refreshing), will help in ways they can. They both have amygdala issues, prefrontal cortex issues, insular cortex issues, executive functioning issues...cognitive distortions, unquestioned biases, but the way they deal with them, see the world, interact with others, subconscious strategies, are different.

[@darthvader78441]

​@@Alphacentauri819"People with BPD can't achieve that level of success" This is false. There are many high functioning pwBPD that excel in top level positions. I know a few that are CEO's and live in the highest echelons of society. They do struggle with emotional regulation though.

[@Alphacentauri819]

@@darthvader78441you edited what I wrote...suspiciously in a way someone with BPD or autism would (with the cognitive distortions of black/white thinking). I said "OFTEN", in that quote...you took that word out. As someone who is pursuing their neuroscience degree (as well as having worked critical care for over a decade)...I can promise you, it would be exceedingly rare for a person with a BPD diagnosis (not an armchair diagnosis, as it seems you are doing with the "CEO's" you know) to be able to acquire the degree and sustain a job, for a prolonged amount of time, much less become a CEO. Do you understand the limbic system (hugely responsible for that emotional regulation issue) executive functioning, and so forth, from a neurobiological and neuropsychological standpoint? Emotional regulation issues (especially to the level it impairs a person with BPD) are at the heart and center of their inability to do much beyond surviving a day...and in that, their dysregulation keeps causing sabotage, destruction, cumulatively piling up. People cannot pay bills, drive safe, show up on time, interact with others well, while extremely dysregulated...and that's exactly the issue. It used to be called emotional regulation disorder (and I think it still should be). What is a disorder? It disrupts the person's life (and often others lives). There is no CEO who has full blown, untreated, BPD...that's as ludicrous as saying a fish can survive out of water. They don't go together! Now, a person who has some BPD traits, who is getting help, and is vigilant in their self care, therapeutic endeavors, they could possibly achieve that sort of thing.

[@Luis-jy1ik]

​@@Alphacentauri819 you know nothing about bpd and Elon Musk is not autistic. Most autists I've met were all dysfuctional. BPD's have always been dramatic but they're far more successful than autistics lmao.

[@Alphacentauri819]

@@Luis-jy1ik sweetie... trying to project your profound ignorance onto me? Not going to work. The fact you used "lmao"...says a lot. How old are you? I've studied psychology for over 3 decades, was in critical care 10+ of those decades. I've studied neuroscience the last 5. My ex is a well respected physician with autism (ASD1, used to be called Aspergers). He wasn't diagnosed until around age 45. There are many engineers, physicians, tech industry people with autism. Educate yourself. Bill gates, Elon musk, have autism. It's a spectrum sweetie, so maybe your biases, prejudices are in the way. Not all autistics are the same. When you can tell me the areas of the brain affected, all about the amygdala, executive functioning, etc, then we can have a conversation. Also, BPD is not merely a dramatic problem. Is emotional dysregulation one of its core features? Yep. Along with profound fear of abandonment (subconscious) and pervasive relational problems. Executive functioning is also a problem. Funny enough, some people have both autism and BPD, as well as being misdiagnosed for one or the other. It takes a very good neuropsychologist to do the right testing and assessments. BPD has fMRI differences in the brain too. The amygdala is often larger. The insular cortex, dysfunctional. The anterior cingulate cortex (the "reins" for emotions) is dysfunctional. Your ignorance and arrogance is abysmal. You try to say I don't know anything on this, when I study it, am writing a book on it...and yet you stated complete erroneous information. Hhhmmm. Wonder what your brain scan would reveal?

[@ildyivy]

I think I have borderline or like overlap with complex ptsd from narcissistic abuse as a child. I did seek help by my 20’s but like u said, there was no access (let alone diagnosis)to treatment. I avoided having children b/c I was unsure I was going to be a decent parent. I have recently figured out I have high functioning autism, and I was given the diagnosis of ADD at age 25 for which they gave me speed pills for lol! Psychiatry is a joke. In women I believe BPD improves as u get closer to menopause which lowers the hormonal disruptions each month. I would take therapy if it was an inpatient setting for like 2 yrs, but I cannot commit to therapy otherwise because I can barely manage my life as it is. I’m not able to stick to it unless someone was mostly supporting me financially and all I had to do was focus fully on therapy. Not a luxury most people have.

[@janethomas78]

As a borderline I was a frightened adult child with no social skills that was taught only to people please because that is all the narcissist taught me. I do not hurt people I have a cognitive delay caused by emotional and physical neglect, my only coping skill was depression and the freeze responce.called the Freeze response

[@jo-annahicks3324]

May I ask if you've ever been tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder? And have you understanding about Codependency?..or have ever attended CODA?..it might help..just a thought.

[@mayday802]

I assume if there are addictions involved, such as alcoholism, which overtime does change brain chemistry and organ damage, the prognosis for any type of "recovery" is slim to none. In my experience, I cannot see any recovery happening short of a divine miracle. The multiple addictions, no impulse control, and lack of sound judgement was a recipe of self destruction. He left me and within a couple months living with and committed(?) to another. I suspect the new one is a female version of him, so I am relieved he has a match that suits his qualities.

[@richardpedley6291]

I was diagnosed with bpd wen i was 18 i ended up bean a heroin adict for 33 years glad to say im off all the crap now i now realise i was only useing drugs to keep me normal i ended up getting my self off all the drugs an i never drink alcahol it sends me nuts thank you for your vid im now 50 year old best of luck evry one .

[@kevindouglas2060]

If left untreated or not. Treatment doesn't work anyway.

[@joannturi3968]

The words positive reinforcement have come to my mind. It might help to keep a positive attitude towards them about themselves. But to ignore the bad things they say and do is detrimental to their progress if any. They simply don't see it or things the way we do. What's black is white and white is black. Lucky if they lend you an ear or acknowledge your truth in the matter. They not only think they're right they can't see anything wrong. I guess the old saying goes whatever works for you stands true as long as they're not out actually killing you or anyone else. I say we're all damaged at some point in life. Life isn't always a bowl of cherries. For me I've always tried to see the good in life and in others. There are many blessings in disguise. Take all of it as a life experience. If you don't live and learn you never will. Live by example, especially if you know they are watching you.

[@shaynalee]

Thank you for shining a light on the reality of day to day living with a PW bpd

[@michaelking4578]

Most borderlines are undiagnosed and do not want to be diagnosed. Just my opinion based on experience which I know is not exactly scientific but I do hold that belief.

[@Zaber_Za]

Ive got bpd,it fucking sucks.

[@bluecoffee8414]

Jordan Peterson has actually made thwt argument. That at least in women, BPD can morph into or strongly mimic anti-social personality disorder in later adulthood.

[@olenajacques7756]

Brilliant video 👍

[@reneegardner2286]

getting the correct diagnosis, and the correct therapy is the key. I had the wrong diagnosis and wrong therapy for decades until I did my own research. and I still can't get DBT in my area unless I had cash because they don't accept any ins for it here

[@ezola7339]

Hey David... Thank you for all your amazing videos.. So so helpfull... Im not sure who you was talking about when you talked about remission and said " Social issues wouldnt go into remission. did you talk about the BPD or the other person?

[@weboflies999]

David, my brother seems to be getting worse as he gets older. He is untreated whatever it is and I'm speculating bipolar 2. Does BP2 get worse with age untreated? He also seems to have some kind of cluster B PD although not sure which one. Or maybe its the Bipolar...so lost...

[@davet.9364]

Big Dave from Tennessee here! I guess I am stepping back into the digital world. Had to take a break and boy did I walk right into a hornets nest with this one. I guess we have the option of cutting one of these people out of your life if its a friend, wife, etc but how do you deal with a brother or sister? Blood family, kin - with kids who got dumped by the "system" during all the Covid panic and now you see this stuff showing up in the kids now. How do you walk away? and I dont mean to sound like I am speaking ill of those who have had the choice to walk away and took it - not at all! Well done to those who had that strength and brains to do so.

[@mike.uk..maranatha]

It's demonic..😢

[@surfshack2]

Would you consider alcohol and drug abuse self harm?

[@jo-annahicks3324]

Both self harm & self medicating...also trying to find a way to be socially accepted.

[@kriyashivajiva]

tough gig when you ride the borderlines razors edge

[@rorywright5692]

Good evening, David! I don’t know that I could start a relationship knowing someone has this disorder. How would you even know, how long before it was evident? 😎❤️

[@zr9145]

When I met one it became obvious within 3 weeks. I was in work and my phone was dying so I left it charging in the office and went about my day. I came back an hour later to 27 missed calls, 17 voicemails, 11 txt messages....me working for ONE HOUR triggered that abandonment anxiety. Needless to say I rannnnnnnn so fast!

[@davet.9364]

Hi Rory, Big Dave from Tennessee here! Great question. Can these people hide it for long periods of time? Do they pop like a balloon or is it a slow change? ZR's comment - thats a fast one in my brain and that one where he might have found his pet rabbit cookin in the pot one day! That one was a balloon.

[@Alphacentauri819]

Tune up your red flag meter. The more unhealed core wounds, subconscious programming, cognitive distortions, biases...we have, unquestioned...the more defective our red flag meter is. If our subconscious "comfort zone", what is familiar (meaning from family) is one of chaos, dismissal, invalidation, drama, conflict avoidance, and more...we cannot spot these people as easily. That's your first line of defense. Part of that, is knowing your own attachment style. If you have any unhealed attachment injuries, trauma, it makes you way more susceptible to be blind to (and tolerate) the early warning signs. The next thing is to go slow, I mean S-L-O-W. Properly vet them out. It makes it hard to see clearly once physical realms are involved. The right person respects that patience. A person with secure attachment, expects others to take their time and will draw boundaries with no problem. Knowing your needs and boundaries, and your non-negotiables helps to approach dating intentionally. This is huge. All the above, will help you to see toxicity much earlier, and have the self advocacy to cut ties earlier rather than later, securely, with self trust.

[@punk86]

I haven't gotten tested for it, but according to the research I have done. I might be borderline with narcissistic tendencies. Recently, just got out of a relationship with a narcissist which I dealt with narcissistic abuse.

[@TimStJohn-xp8rv]

I'm addicted to a woman with BPD! She has turned into my drug!

[@kiranguddu4339]

Advance congratulations for an upcoming PTSD!

[@UstashaMe84]

@@kiranguddu4339as a BPD man, I laughed harder at this than I should have. I agree.. he should be careful with her/us.

[@reneegardner2286]

or do you just like the sex 😂

[@jeanettecook1088]

The dangers...? Ask Jodi Arias. 😮

[@ilovepancakes67]

You seem very knowledgeable about this disease, but what are your credentials?

[@christophermaron7027]

Master of the obvious

[@mvrcego]

the heck