The Difference Between Self-love And Selfishness

Self-love isn't selfish! But how can we differentiate the two? In this video I explain the difference between self-love and selfishness and what self-love needs to be balanced with, in order not to turn into selfishness.
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0:00 Introduction
1:53 The Values- And Development Square
5:56 The Values-Square For Self-Love
8:16 Study: Self-Love, Love For Others And Happiness
8:40 Practical Examples
10:04 When Self-love Feels Like Selfishness
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Hi! My name is Maika - I'm a psychologist and work as a course designer, KZbin creator and speaker. The purpose of my work is to assist you in becoming an expert at self-leadership, so you can lead the life you aspire for
"There is no passion to be found in playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela
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❃❃❃ Reference ❃❃❃
McQuivey, J. (2020). Are Most People Selfish, Selfless, or Both? Psychology Today: www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
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I do not make any warranties about the completeness, reliability and accuracy of the information given on this channel. Any action you take upon the information on this channel is strictly at your own risk, and I will not be liable for any losses and damages in connection to the use of my channel. The information I provide cannot be taken as a substitute for advice, diagnosis or treatment by mental health professionals. Please consult your health professionals before making health-related decisions.
#selfleadershipexperts #selflove #selfishness
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[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

What are some other differences between self-love and selfishness?
 Remember to subscribe if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n

[@dersonnenschuh4197]

Thanks again

[@tomtbi]

I DESERVE to love myself... I have survived a very traumatic 50 years that many people couldn't survive!!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I'm sorry to hear you've made these traumatizing experiences and wish you all the best for your future. 🌻

[@DrSmoke2104]

11:10 This is exactly why I opened the video. Thanks a lot Dr. Maika, I've been having this question in my head for years, and felt to embarrassed to ask anyone or even look it up (I thought it was something a male wouldn't do). Today, I took the courage to do so, Thanks a lot!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I‘m glad the video provided an answer and that you followed your inner knowing/urge/curiosity to look this up! 🥳 I think self-awareness and self-discovery aren’t confined to only one gender 💫

[@SeaMichelle1]

The timing of finding this video is incredible. I’ve just come to this place of trying to move away from a constant people pleasing mentality. I unintentionally built an entire identity around it. Trying to figure out how to shift it without hurting others and while still honoring the part of myself that does love to help others. It’s been rough and I do constantly finding myself worrying I’m falling into the full blown selfish category when like you said - in reality it’s likely not selfish at all but just the self love I’m not used to. Thanks for such a great video!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I'm glad the video came at such a fitting point! Yes, it takes practice to get one's balance right and especially at the beginning the new value will feel foreign. When we've overemphasized caring for others, and we have little experience with self-love, it can definately feel like selfishness at the beginning. But yes, giving ourselves time to feel right about self-care/self-love is essential in the process, so that we'll stick with it - throughout the phase of feeling awkward about self-care.

[@tomtbi]

I am trying to break from being a " people pleaser" too!!

[@yissakorkassahun7842]

Thanks Dr.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Gladly!

[@nedayazdani3367]

Thank you . Great information .

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🙂✨🙏🏻

[@YoYo-nt7yf]

Tha kyou sooo much

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thanks for watching 🙂

[@rolapiepse2383]

Thank you

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🌸

[@samayoga620]

Thank you Maika 🙏

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🙋🙏🌺✨

[@Lil_Podcast]

Great video not only does it encourage self reflection. But it helps you to understand others.x

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

So true! The values-square is great for understanding where others are coming from, too!

[@vmd1008]

Thank you for this information

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

My pleasure and a happy new year to you!

[@manishbirla8586]

Keep it up maika mam, soon you will be achieve your million subscribers just bcoz of your realistic content

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thank you, Manish!! And a happy new year!

[@manishbirla8586]

@@DrMaikaSteinborn Same to you mam , and sorry for late reply

[@mariashumilova1784]

Thank you! It is realy important topic.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Yes!

[@sumitkavi]

I am not people pleaser at the same time i am not self lover I always love others but I'm not people pleaser.... I never want to be selfish. I can't imagine myself selfish.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

That makes sense. I wish you all the best on your continued journey, I hope it will include self-love, compassion and acceptance, too 🙂 ✨

[@GummyNoir]

THANK YOUUU TwT

[@CosmicFox808]

This is an incredibly insightful video. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I'm so glad you found it helpful!

[@maddnd9721]

Loved the value square!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Wonderful! It's something I always come back to - an evergreen for me :)

[@bhavinidasi5123]

Great tool. Thank you

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🌺

[@arisgnnks]

A wonderful presentation, very helpful

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

That's great, thank you!

[@abcd32174]

Amazing video. Loved the Value Square.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thank you! I love it, too! It's super helpful also in other cases of value-conflict or confusion.

[@davidbrown6340]

This is an interesting way of expressing concepts I have appreciated for years wrt harmonizing opposing values. Nice presentation.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thank you!

[@erumfatima7301]

Great self awareness video

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thank you!

[@Thomas.Steinborn]

Nice!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🙂🌺🙏

[@BrianDonato]

Appreciate the video - Self-love's importance can not be overstated! I go deep into self-love in a video series a few months ago on my channel too. I hope videos like ours inspire people to prioritize self-love, especially during the chaotic times currently. Just subscribed to your channel also - KZbinrs like yourself should be highlighted more

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thank you and welcome here :-)

[@oguzhankara7085]

Dear Maika, thank you for your time, effort and compassion on sharing the knowledge/wisdom you have grabbed in your life, I was just searching this topic and you came up in the results, nice to meet, regards from Istanbul :) I want to ask a question if you dont mind, how can we understand/or become aware the difference that we are shifting to exaggeration, is there any signs or effects on our life?

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Hi Oguzhan Kara! Thank you for your kind appreciation and greetings from Istanbul, I like how the internet allows us all to be connected internationally! Good question - this is what it comes down to, practically - keeping the balance by being aware of slight exaggerations in one or the other direction. Signs for an exaggeration of service to others can be if one is feeling worn out, exhausted, tired and/or if one has lost the connection to one's inspiration and values. Signs of an exaggeration of self-love can be if one is feeling lonely, if there are conflicts in a lot of relationships and/or a lack of emotional intimacy, if others are starting to draw back or only present out of duty, if one doesn't feel interested in the wellfare of others and/or if one feels hard/cold/stiff in one's heart. Some signs can also be more general and indicate that both values are not present in one's life - like feeling down, unenthusiastic, disoriented or stressed. And there are for sure more signs for all three categories... it's worthwhile to observe oneself and see which signs are specifically relevant to one's own life, as it is also different from person to person.

[@oguzhankara7085]

@@DrMaikaSteinborn thank you for your deep and long reply, it enlighted me. It was a pleasure, wish all the best.

[@sumitpaul3080]

Thanks a lot for this concept of self-love and selfishness. Would like to know how a selfish person can have self-love but overcome the selfishness? and who will be the perfect person for anyone to ask feedback, about he/she is selfish or just have self-love?

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Hi Sumit, the best place to start would be to think of another person who could benefit from being supported and support them in any way. This support doesn't have to be a grand gesture, for example just calling someone and asking how they are and listening is a great support. In this way a selfish person can learn to direct their attention towards others, too. At the same time they can continue to love and take care of themselves. And for the feedback: I'd recommend asking several people that know you well and then lettting it sink in and reflecting which part of the feedback resonates with you as a valuable piece of information.

[@abbylaurel6836]

Who else searched for this video because you dont know when its okay to post a selfie?

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I'm curious to see the replies here over time 🙂. Did the video help you sort your question out a bit?