The Donor Experience | Being Donor Conceived - Nikita's Story | ARGC

[@OWNReview]

She clearly looks biracial and of cuban descent. She is beautiful. I do like how she shares the importance ancestry. We often hear from the parent side but not the donor teen or adult.

[@nikitatrueart5825]

Thank you so much. It's really important to research the experiences of donor conceived people, there's a big community of us wanting the best for future generations to come. Working at the clinic has given me an insight into the parent perspective which I am truly grateful for.

[@whiggygirl]

Thank you very much for sharing. My daughter is donor conceived and that scared me that you and your half sibling were studying in the same place! It's very reassuring to hear you say that you would use donor eggs if needed

[@nikitatrueart5825]

Thank you so much for watching! Being honest, open and supportive with your child when using a donor is so important. I've actually found another sibling since recording this video. The donor and siblings shouldn't be seen as a threat as they will never replace the family you were raised with. I feel very lucky to be forming these new relationships with my extended family. Hope that helps!

[@whiggygirl]

@@nikitatrueart5825 thank you ever so much for commenting! It really helps me to hear your point of view 😀

[@Uber1937]

​@@whiggygirl Madre es biología. Comprar óvulos no te hace madre. No somos mercancía ni podemos excluir a la naturaleza. Las opiniones cambian, la realidad, no.

[@twilight.lotusthoughts7575]

Not sure why everyone is commenting that this is sad. Anyone can be curious about their background and it can lead them on a journey. You can have both parents and be curious about your heritage. You can have one parent and the other be deadbeat. Very judgy of ppl in here to be labelling this girl's identity journey as sad, etc.

[@nikitatrueart5825]

Thank you. Unfortunately, this is something almost every donor conceived person faces whenever they share their journey, whether it be positive or negative. It's not sad, it's simply the reality. It tends to be mostly recipient parents or donors who have this view and decide to shut out the viewpoints of donor conceived people if it goes against their own. It's a real shame that we go unheard. Stories are shut down or criticised because it's not what some people 'want' to hear. I'm very happy with my life and love my family. Having a desire to know the donor or build relationships with my siblings doesn't change this. It's 2023 and most people still think donor conceived people have no right to know where they came from. That is sad.

[@Uber1937]

​@@nikitatrueart5825 Son tus hermanos, porque el donante es tu padre. No tienes otros.

[@sophieclarke6147]

It's sad how infatuated the child is in the donor because it's such a mystery. Not being exposed to what makes someone human makes longing and imagination too much to bare. If she met her donor like I did, it really made me realise that a man is not that special, he's only made special because he seems unattainable and unreachable and non human which gives the donor more allure than they deserve!

[@nikitatrueart5825]

I completely understand what you mean. However, I've never 'idolised' the donor or viewed him as someone special. I don't know if he's a good or bad person and for that reason, I have no opinion on his character. The main desire for me is wanting to know what he looks like, what his interests are and medical history so that I can finally understand my own genetics - where my facial features come from and if my interests and medical conditions are hereditary. I'd also like to know his reasons for donating - was it to help families conceive or for financial gain. I've never viewed him as a parent figure. All donor conceived people have different feelings towards their/their parents' donor. For me, it's the desire to answer questions about myself.

[@TanyaRadic]

Most of these children were only children now they have lots of siblings!

[@camilavega1114]

It’s 50% of her genetical identity, she is entitled to feel however she wants

[@Funnyman-wc8hv]

Glad mine died now haha, sorry to be morbid but, in reality I spent my whole life building him up and wondering if I'd meet him but when I was 16 I found out that who he was and that he died in 2007 fron an OD, it shot me into a deep depression, nearly killed myself months after the news, it's traumatic

[@dannyhussain5489]

Insightful and enlightening, thank you Niki

[@nikitatrueart5825]

Thank you for watching Danny!

[@williamadams7136]

@@nikitatrueart5825 Did you meet your half siblings if so what was it like? Have you found your bio dad?

[@nikitatrueart5825]

@@williamadams7136 I'm in contact with both, they're lovely. I've met one a few times and we get on really well. First time meeting it was very surreal seeing someone who looks like me & has the same mannerisms. I haven't met the other yet due to distance but plan to soon. We haven't yet found our bio father but I've put together family trees over the years so I'm hopeful more DNA matches will pop up and eventually everything will come together.

[@nikitatrueart5825]

@ritch That's lovely to hear. Thank you for watching!

[@Narnus96]

You're a precious creation! I've got a no dad situation and it does seem to baffle people when you're little especially xxx

[@NavyLady82]

I dont want to do this but im running out of options. This is not my ideal.

[@ARGCUK1995]

Hello, we understand this is not an option many people would like to consider however there is a lot of support available for those who do decide to use donor gametes. If you'd like to talk to one of our staff members about this in more depth you can book a free advisory call here: argc.co.uk/arrange-an-appointment/arrange-an-advisory-call/

[@Uber1937]

No lo hagas. No sería tu hijo ni tú su madre. Acepta la realidad.

[@Arguewityamama]

Adopt or foster, there’s plenty of kids who need a loving home

[@Jean-nr5ch]

​@@ArguewityamamaYou obviously have no idea how that process works

[@tessareaston2208]

This definitely puts me off donating again and actually maybe seeing if my eggs can be taken off the list. I wouldn't and don't want 16 years later a random kid showing up looking to connect. This is a big reason why donors are in short supply. I get people want to know where they are from but I think donors who are doing an amazing thing for women should be allowed to decide if they can be contacted.

[@nikitatrueart5825]

Anyone who is considering donating gametes should avoid doing so if they wish to never be contacted by their biological children. Of course there is the option to donate anonymously but with the advance in technology, DNA testing means that anonymity cannot be 100% guaranteed. The offspring have every right to reach out to the donor as they did not sign any agreement themselves. We are aware and accept that rejection is a possibility. Many donor conceived people are not looking for a parent relationship with the donor, but the opportunity to know more about the person they share half of their DNA with. 481 donor conceived people took part in the 2020 We Are Donor Conceived survey. The findings showed that of those who identified the donor, 80% attempted to communicate with them. 50% of these said the donor was happy to hear from them. The child's right to know was eventually recognised which resulted in the 2005 UK law change, abolishing anonymous donation. I support gamete donation as it is a wonderful thing to help create a family. I believe potential donors need more education on the circumstances that could arise from their donation and parents should research the experiences of donor conceived people to support their child the best they can.

[@rebeccabolton7117]

I think the phrase 'random kid' shows why donor conceived children and adults nowadays feel so hurt and commoditised.

[@pamn.1454]

You may be doing an "amazing thing for women" but this so called random kid is genetically your child. By helping one woman you are creating another person that could very well be another woman that you will end up hurting with a response like that. You didn't help these people by giving them an inanimate object, you helped them bring a living person with feelings into this world

[@kaxakajlow383]

Yes there’s usually that option when it comes to most donor banks clinics, Non contact donor and an Open donor.

[@asiapaca5782]

I do understand and think you are so right. Having donnor child should be helping people to have their children and normal family, not some kind of chronic life long torture. Donnors give their cells they dont make children. there is a looooong journey still for human mentality to understand that. Theres nothing more beautiful than giving people normality, not a freaky family. And yes it is a random kid as it is their kid, not yours, donnors are donnors not parents. You are a very wise person. I wish all people understood it.

[@SG-ec3op]

You are beautiful and much wanted and beloved and actually were a happy child until the first stupid questions from closed minded people and their children came.. . A donor is still just a donor who wanted to help (while making some money or not, nothing bad on that). You are coming from your mom's womb but first of all from our Father who is seeding the miracle of Life where He is considering and loves you and us unconditionally. If this is your purpose and it feels the right one who is coming from your heart and not from people's opinions or questions, than I wish you all the best! Much love 💕💕

[@nikitatrueart5825]

Even without questions from other people, I was curious from a young age. I remember looking in the mirror and wondering why I had certain facial features that I did not share with my family. I was a very happy child and continue to be a happy adult - I naturally became more curious as I got older. I have always viewed the donor as just a donor, not a parent figure but also refer to him as my biological father. Some donor conceived people may see the donor as a parent and hope for that relationship, everyone has a different view. I have recently found more of my donor conceived siblings and it has been lovely to discuss these thoughts and experiences with them. Thank you for your kind words.

[@SG-ec3op]

@@nikitatrueart5825 Thank you so much to sharing all these thoughts and feelings with me, I feel onored and in the same time happy "hearing" that you were a happy child and now a happy adult! Awesome! This is all that matter and I can understand you wanting to know more , I was just somehow afraid that in all this process you'll lose your happiness. I'm glad you didn't! 💕💕

[@Uber1937]

​@@nikitatrueart5825 Eres de ascendencia española, se nota.

[@margaretbirch3367]

It looks like she has a growth on her throat. She should get that checked out.

[@talllala]

Thyroid Goiter potentially

[@MsChitterchat]

I come from a complex family that includes half siblings, adoption (met one sibling as an adult), a biological grandfather I never knew and cousins I met as an adult. I will never know all of my family tree but it’s interesting to me know ancestry. My brothers aren’t particularly interested though, everyone is different! I know your story is different but I understand your desire to find out more about your biological father. Great you have met siblings, how wonderful. I’m proud of my messy family.. hope you can end up feeling like that! You and your story is unique ❤

[@nikitatrueart5825]

Thank you so much. The reason I did this video was to create conversation. I want parents and donors to realise it's very common for donor conceived people to want to learn about their origins and for many, that involves identifying the donor and siblings. This should be supported and not feared. Donor conceived people and adoptees can definitely relate to each other. I've now found 5 siblings which has been wonderful. Thank you for sharing your story too! I would highly recommend reading Dani Shapiro's book Inheritance for an insight into late discovery donor conception in particular and why it is important to be honest with your children from a young age. There's also going to be an ITV series called Born From The Same Stranger which I'm sure will be worth a watch!

[@Jillousa]

Wow, If her sibling is living in the same town..... Does anyone care that siblings could accidentally marry each other if she met her brothers?

[@ghanaina12]

They could do DNA test before getting serious

[@harrietboateng5239]

@@ghanaina12 how many people actually do a DNA TEST

[@shebelieves9650]

My sister paid $20K for a donor egg. My other sister then demanded that the words- mother, donor, egg, 23andme and DNA testing should be banned in our family because she thinks these are trigger words that could upset my sister.

[@ThatKraZeeKanuck]

When doing our family tree, I asked my kids what they wanted it to say and they both agreed to put donor and then his name. I don’t think the sister has a right to make that decision

[@kaxakajlow383]

This has made me shaken about having my baby as planned through a donor!!! ☹️☹️🤔😰

[@MsChitterchat]

Try to take this young woman’s experience as positive. Trust in yourself and move forward. Children created using donors need confident and reassuring parents, well all kids do really! Head up and good luck 😊

[@Uber1937]

​@@MsChitterchat No se pueden tener hijos comprando óvulos. No son madres, sino, jugadoras.

[@Squishy-ho7zd]

Some banks have limiting family options

[@CrementChizumila]

Amen you are doing good.God bless you.But am a pastor I need help for building the church

[@eastcoastsailingcenter7768]

Wow 12 siblings!!!

[@ramonam9251]

Sad

[@twilight.lotusthoughts7575]

What's sad is this comment and the person who liked it

[@taliabraver]

These poor children

[@nacho-man1063]

All children born out wedlock are born cursed. They will suffer the most. I was born out of wedlock, and it was a living hell. Thank God for Jesus and got saved. I would not recommend anyone to have kids outside marriage.