The Dumbest Video on the Internet

By which I mean the video I am about to talk about, not the one I made, though most of the videos I make could qualify so take that as you will.
Anyway, How are you?
Let me know in the comments how you're doing and I will reply.
I get like, less than a 100 comments per video so I don't have the excuse bigger KZbinrs have, I read them all, I feast on them, they satisfy me in ways no woman ever could. Because the comments I get from woman tend not to be flattering and mostly involve the lines "Hello HR?" and "He's at it again!".
So this video. Ok so picture the scene. I'm off my tits on something called Dragon Soup, that's an alcoholic energy drink btw. Bad Decision I know but you gotta try everything at least once, it's 3am, I go for a walk, sit in a park and watch some youtube videos, I get recommended this one about dinosaurs so I watch it and what I see with my piggy eyes is so incredibly stupid I must tell the internet about it.
So I stumbly-fly towards my computer, punching hobos and morning joggers out the way as I try to remember where I live, and somewhere, by the end of the night, this video happens.
Enjoy
Or don't. Idc

[@kousand9917]

The animals in reverse was by far the stupidest thing I've ever seen

[@hectorcorona9536]

stupidest thing that successfully fooled me. the first 3 seconds of that video i was thinking of how good the CGI was, like i couldn't tell where the models were and I was starting to speculate that the whole environment was CGI. if i only saw those 3 or 5 seconds of video I probably never suspected otherwise

[@FakeSchrodingersCat]

Honestly that was the most convincing one it took a second to realize what was happening. Which is 2 second more convincing then any of the others.

[@robertortiz-wilson1588]

@@FakeSchrodingersCat same lol

[@nighpaw4651]

@@FakeSchrodingersCat true

[@simoneichler7320]

but it looks realy cute

[@jackmurray1466]

came for the A-10 slander, stayed for the drunken rants

[@Vulpinaut]

"I was drunk and forgot what basking sharks were called" This is the kind of journalistic rigor i come to youtube for

[@whom382]

I don't know where that puts me since I never heard of a basking shark till this video!

[@tomarmadiyer2698]

What is important, is that you now are aware of SCP-682

[@Dannyt077]

Building a toilet in a polish slum because God told you to sounds like the plot of a Dostoevsky novel.

[@LazerPig]

That is pretty much the video in a nutshell

[@booradley6832]

I do feel like ive been sent to Gulag in video form, so it all comes around. Why must you punish us like this, glorious leader?

[@KoishiVibin]

@@LazerPig I wanna see it!

[@dattebenforcer]

They made a film based on it called Toilet of Dreams.

[@WanukeX]

@@KoishiVibin Go onto his channel and check the playlists, all the unlisted videos are still in there, including the toilet one.

[@johnn8223]

Also, as an Ohioan, I assure you that we would have driven the pterosaur to extinction years ago. We set a river on fire, for fucks sake!

[@LazerPig]

Apparently it is not a kite but an RC model.

[@johnn8223]

@@LazerPig Shameful display on the part of the Ohio ANG not to shoot it down. Imagine getting to paint a dinosaur under your cockpit.

[@randombrit4504]

you *what*

[@crapphone7744]

Setting the river on fire makes a statement.

[@JohnSmith-hp9ds]

@@randombrit4504 Not only did it catch fire, it caught fire 13 times since 1868

[@Codeman1930]

The extent people will go to make low quality content is astounding.

[@rwaitt14153]

Well he did apologize that he was drunk when he made it.

[@deanferries7766]

It was real though instead of most of the retarded fake shit on u tube

[@itiscujo]

@@rwaitt14153 Dang it, you beat me to it

[@johnmcpudding857]

@@HelghastStalker Farming clicks. Content itself doesn't really matter, as long as stupid people watch it long enough to count as 1x view. But because of the low effort put into the vids, almost no one watches these, but what about the millions of subs and views you may ask? Bought, there are entire companies with hundreds if not even thousands of phones in stock, with handful of operators clicking the next vid as soon as criteria for 1x view has been met. Then you have this sort of ''content farm'' channels who shovel out these minimum effort vids on a conveyor belt, which when combined with adequate amount of both clicks generates profit.

[@masstv9052]

"Dinosaurs are old, so their graphics won't be up to date" - LazerPig 2021. Please, for all that's Holy and Unholy, don't you ever change.

[@AtomicExtremophile]

That particular comment was torture, I was already hurting from laughing at the overall rant...that tipped me into my sides aching with laughter. I agree, I hope Lazerpig never changes...

[@masstv9052]

@@AtomicExtremophile He's one of a million, and a world treasure. We must protect this Tank & Military history loving swine at all costs. Especially if he's now on Putin's KGB hit list for his criticism of the "Ukrainian war"......Sorry, I meant to say Putins "Special Military Operations in Ukraine to free the innocent Russian civilians from Nazbols"...... *Wink Wink* and has nothing to do with the recent findings of Ukrainian Natural Gas in the Donbass and Crimea, that Putin wants because their economy is funded by oil & natural gas. Which he just so happened to annex Crimea shortly after natural gas was found in the waters just off the Crimean peninsula. and now trying to conquer Eastern Ukraine, where a huge vast supply was found just outside of the Donbass. and where they're trying to take Key Cities that lay on top of these huge natural gas reservoirs. But again, it's only about liberating innocent Russians, and nothing to do with the oil and natural gas found just before the 2014 annexation of Crimea. *Wink wink* again.

[@OutsideTheTargetDemographic]

That SLAYED me lmfao

[@CoobyPls]

_Dinosaurs are old, so obviously their graphics aren't up to date._ *I WOKE MY WIFE UP LAUGHING*

[@kilianortmann9979]

Shows video of ducks; should have specified non-avian dinosaurs.

[@LazerPig]

There is a twitch stream of a pond that feeds ducks everytime you donate.

[@leonardogomez8812]

@@LazerPig I hope it is cabbage rather than bread

[@mennograafmans1595]

​@@leonardogomez8812Or peas. Ducks love peas.

[@adventuringwithmichael8134]

Yay more laser pig!

[@gogodaal7273]

It’s pronounced Lazerpig you fuking troglodyte.

[@johnn8223]

Part of me wants to know why we're using the Italian national anthem in the intro, part of me really doesn't.

[@usa_bruce4295]

The fact that you'll never reach his level of likes views and subscribers just proves he's already won.... That genius madman

[@LazerPig]

If I get a million subs I shall parade through town wearing the golden playbutton on a chain around my neck. Who's going to stop me?

[@5t3v0esque]

@@LazerPig I'm definitely not.

[@clarkycat9173]

@@LazerPig now you’ve promised

[@sparetime2475]

@@LazerPig I’ll join the parade!

[@LazerPig]

@@sparetime2475 AND SO YOU SHALL!

[@stardragon7893]

I love how they put the bright red circle around a dinosaur that's right in the middle of the screen, just in case you couldn't find it.

[@crazydinosaur8945]

i think the vidoes target demographic struggled even with the circle

[@The_Tomcatter]

"Interpret that as you will" Sir, are you threatening to genetically modify those wasps to function like bees and then use the product created by these mutant bees to create some delicious homemade honey for your non-subscribers as a gesture...of KINDNESS??! Cause that would actually be needlessly complicated when I’m sure the local grocery store has honey.

[@LazerPig]

I bet you wasp honey is delicious

[@Shaun_Jones]

@@LazerPig honestly it probably tastes like paper

[@nk_3332]

@@LazerPig So why aren't you making it into mead? Intoxicated minds want to know.

[@HumphreyHorsehead]

"Imagine going to work and seeing a T-Rex, your next reaction would be to run for your life, wouldnt it?" No sir, I have a pick em up truck and a shotgun. My reaction would be to CHARGE FOR GLORY AND HONOR

[@Shaun_Jones]

Alright, Dennis Silva.

[@jamesflynn6827]

Leave the poor dinosaur he just wanted to cosplay as bridgetroll

[@Seth9809]

I was sorta watching this video while playing Minecraft and I was like "Yeah, those are shitty CGI brocs or whatever".... Then I heard the screaming and I tuned my head more, leaned forward "Wait... Why is there eyes on their asses.... Wait...are those skunks walking backward?"

[@Wallyworld30]

The people were walking backwards as well.

[@sebastiansepulveda547]

@@Wallyworld30 wow we discovered brand new creatures

[@TheActionBastard]

that part made my brain stop dead and cry tears of blood... "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!" it screamed in pain... then the video kept going.

[@Seth9809]

It was always my dream to be noticed by Laserpig. I want to thank my family.

[@_EVANERV_]

The original video also made a big mistake with their No.1 entry. They called the dinosaur a "Tyrannosaur." But from the longer skull and much more pronounced forelimbs, I think it is more likely to be an Allosaurus of some kind. It is not as bad as mistaking pterosaurs as dinosaurs, but it is still pretty bad.

[@RinAldrin]

I love the "baby brachiosaurus" ones because it starts out looking like blurred CGI footage until they give up and just show that they were playing the footage in reverse. Also I love how often the T-Rex is used with little regard for where it actually lived in the world.

[@jstoned88]

Every day I am reminded that the stupidest person you know is smarter than half the worlds population

[@juliusfucik4011]

This channel will blow up. Give it half a year to get to 150k. Then another year to a million. Keep at it LazerPig

[@seanregan1245]

100k now let’s get there

[@TRPilot06YT]

This comment is aging like a fine fucking wine mate

[@Shaun_Jones]

This comment was posted six months ago and the Pig has 155k. If he has a million a year from now I’m going to assume you’re a time traveler.

[@bigmart932]

About 1/3 of the way there, doesn’t change the fact that you’re a gawd damn time travelling prophet.

[@Flofutz]

Laughed so much. That got me off depression for the next year for sure.

[@doubleugly1594]

The Pterosaur is most probably an ornithopter. Popular RC toys in the 90s that fly using the same mechanics as birds (kind of) and ends up looking the same. Thats why the wings flap the same every time and the head doesnt move..

[@LiterofPhlegm]

LazerPig, Champ was actually a piece of floating drift wood. Seeing as Lake Champlain is a freshwater lake it's just as unlikely to be a basking shark as a sea monster.

[@natelax1367]

That’s what samsquatch wants you to think. He wants cryptozoologists to lose credibility and funding so he won’t be found. Don’t fall into his trap, be better senator!

[@ch1ppy755]

I’m more upset that the dinosaur was not under the bridge.

[@veljkohajdukovic4044]

"And people wonder why i drink", cheers mate, i felt that

[@paulian1888]

I haven't laughed this hard for what, the last three eternities, thank you Lazerpig

[@sparetime2475]

This was honestly amazing, thank you.

[@internetpleb4854]

How did these scam artists get 1 million subs when u create more quality content and try to be as factually accurate as the alcohol intake allows

[@hectorcorona9536]

you can buy subscribers/comments/likes to boost engagement. I worked for a time at a marketing agency and that was one of our services. Im going to assume that modern machine learning technology has made this way easier, back in 2012-14 we just had several rooms full of people writing comments and reviews.

[@lavellelee5734]

@@hectorcorona9536 so would all their followers be false or some?

[@hectorcorona9536]

@@lavellelee5734 We worked in batches, let's say 100 subs each (different accounts obviously). After a few batches it is expected for the video to get organically recommended to new real subscribers. For accounts with no problems we expected around 10 times the subs of what we put into (by problems I mean copyright claims, strikes, not family friendly content, etc.)

[@lavellelee5734]

@@hectorcorona9536 how well did this trend to work?

[@kamikazekalamari]

Hahahah this was great, first times in what feels like decades that I laughed my ass of by a KZbin video

[@edwardpsama]

I really do wish I could watch the zero subscriber special toilet video in its entirety, that clip alone is an avant garde comedy masterpiece

[@Shaun_Jones]

LazerPig has a playlist on his channel called “old gaming content.” It’s on there.

[@masstv9052]

You are KZbins slowly growing Hidden Gem, that we love. congratulations on your growth, and to much more growth to come. I just ask that you keep posting for us useless plebs who adore your content.

[@medicmule]

Okay, being a salty ass middle-aged paramedic in the US, I can't say anything but praise to the way you lightly dust complete bullshit with a hint of sarcasm... And I'm certainly I'm legally intoxicated. Regardless of that, I am not only giving you a thumbs-up but I'm subscribing... It is rare that anything can make me consistently laugh like your videos... Seriously, I think I choked on my tongue, had a seizure, and woke up with brain damage.... TOTALLY WORTH IT!

[@eliwatson7936]

8:30 that was taken near me, it’s a big plastic fucker and some absolute mad lads dragged it into the middle of the road one night, presumably on their way back from the pub

[@hectorcorona9536]

thanks, after years of avoiding certain sites and every video with the LIVELEAK watermark like the plague, I cannot say for sure that i haven't seen people die on camera after watching your birthday video to sumitomedia and this video 'subscribe' section. Also I just realized that both #4, #2 and possibly the special mention aren't technically wrong, since they are dinosaur (sculptures), caught on camera, in real life, as the title of the video affirms.

[@dun0790]

It's new years im lonely and watching a drunk pig talk about dinosaur sightings somehow i didn't think this would be life at 33 but im also not surprised

[@LazerPig]

I'm 35 it never gets any better

[@dun0790]

@@LazerPig always the 3, D's death,drugs and dreams ha anyway happy new year Mr Pig

[@dun0790]

@@LazerPig oh yeah i forgot to ask, am i the only one that thinks Putin is a closet homosexual? It just seems so obvious and would explain so much? He just needs a c*** ** *** ****

[@gwtpictgwtpict4214]

Quality ranting sir, the anger is palpable.

[@SpaceStickwithSpaceTick]

Gonna be honest, when I was a kid, I fucking LOVED dinosaurs. Straight up psycho obsession. This would have been super entertaining lol.

[@Picklesthedonutfrog]

Finally someone who knows that a pterosaur is not a dinosaur

[@bobobeeper2]

My man I found your channel two days ago and have been watching all your videos since. So great

[@KirillTheBeast]

2:29 That made me laugh my ass off for over four minutes straight. I used to work as a beekeeper and hence I went on several wasp extermination campaigns (huge issue in Spain, btw). I see now that this bit of background can be very easily spun into a fairly serious threat, much like that "Never trust a man who owns a pig farm" bit in the film Snatch. That'll do, pig, that'll do...

[@ashardalondragnipurake]

lol the mini brachiosaurs got an actual laugh out of me

[@deanferries7766]

Thanks for being you man so happy I found this channel you taught me to question a lot of the validity of ww2 history and for that I thank you

[@p_ecora6647]

0:01 random inno d'Italia moment... Iniziamo bene

[@PerishingPurplePulsar]

Good to see the cover up has been working well, now no one will believe I let dinosaurs loose upon this world!

[@neroclaudius7284]

The worst bit about the Dinosaur under a bridge is the fact that it is not under the bridge

[@plasticballs]

how long did that guy train to have the top ten announcer voice, and does he use it in regular conversation

[@jimmyrome908]

Just do the video on "The Real James Bond" already. We know you want it.

[@Shaun_Jones]

Just the title makes me want to commit vomit.

[@elementalgamer0732]

I could listen to your drunken rambled for hours. Best laugh I've had after a shitty day at work yet.

[@Gary_The_Metro]

I love how proud you were a year ago for your 1000 subs (as you should), and now.. look at you, I am so happy for you man

[@lornamorgan3575]

The Lone Dinosaur Under a Bridge. sounds like a shitty sixties gag single. 😂😂😂😂 thanks for the laugh.

[@beyondfubar]

The bud light of top 10s.

[@garbage1224]

7:29 I remember waking up in the middle of the night to that T. Rex Autopsy video that I somehow manage to get to from an old PopularMMOs video through the magic of KZbin Autoplay.

[@jonnywatts2970]

Laughed my ass off. You're basically saying everything that goes through my head when I watch stuff like that. That's about the time my girlfriend looks at me and asked me why the heck I'm so angry. 🤬

[@spartanx9293]

You summoned me m'lord

[@LazerPig]

No, but I guess you are here now so....

[@aaronkuminski1415]

If nessy was really real someone would of harpoon it already while drinking a bottle of scotch

[@thegamingfish547]

5:35 my brain is actually melting

[@danieljohnson9783]

As soon as I clicked the video KZbin closed me out. This is awesome 👌

[@21stcenturybohemian]

OMG.. I can't see and my abs hurt. This is the funniest thing I have seen in years. Love your vids.

[@grun73r]

I’m so glad I discovered this channel at 3am. I’d watch whatever you post, doesn’t matter if it’s straight fact history or southeast Asian pron

[@johnaaron37]

Rofl, I love you, LazerPigs. You make me laugh so hard😂😂😂

[@dzonifer9101]

No relation to this video. I've been binge watching your videos for the past... FML 4 hours... Keep up the good shit my man

[@grindersandgears3445]

I was half expecting a picture of Barney at #1. I guess a trex so real it remains perfectly level while walking is close enough. Who knew they had knees and could duck walk for a more stable shooting platform, they're even more dangerous than we thought.

[@justinbethell8459]

Dude, love your drunk presenter voice!

[@prokopiusvonvogelberg1396]

Megalodon bone... everything to that point I somehow survived, but Megalodon bone killed me.

[@petrsukenik9266]

I honestly can't belive it I can't imagine the mental state of person that made this

[@fulcrum2951]

Intoxicated?

[@petrsukenik9266]

@@fulcrum2951 i guess so

[@minifridge337]

The dinosaur enjoyer and national defense expert Venn diagram is just a circle

[@jamesshaw3500]

I don't know why, but I find stuff like this absolutely hilarious.

[@ThatOneGuy46696]

I been doin' pretty good thanks for asking.

[@LazerPig]

Glad to hear it mate

[@boomy1337]

I'm glad your glad that makes me glad

[@EloquentTroll]

I am going to need to drink as much as Lazer Pig to get this nonsense out of my head.

[@Ropen_]

i fucking love this video thanks for doing it, it made my day.

[@engineersmith]

The algorithm has found you, the horde is approaching.

[@ethanallan1254]

1000 subs to 100k in 10 months, good job man

[@jesenjin8467]

This is just too funny. I am actually falling out of a chair clutching my stomach from all the laughing.

[@dhio9615]

Alcohol and a Scottish Man is easily the most dangerous and unstable combination of elements

[@minetieplays2092]

drunk pissed off scottish man reacting to dumb ass youtube video is now my favorite video genre

[@irabrook]

Watching the subtitles while you slur your way through the script has some funny moments like when you say "we're friends" but KZbin hears "we're French"

[@ghazghkullthraka9714]

3:57 I used to study cryptozoology as a hobby. Not only is that not real, it’s not the mokele-mbembe. Mokele-mbembe looks like a brachiosaurus

[@ROOSTER333]

I for one welcome our miniature T Rex'ses under bridges

[@random_femboy_protogen]

Vote lazerpig for president to allow mini trex's to claim the bridges

[@clarkycat9173]

Congrats on the 1k bro

[@Lobos222]

Lazer pigs are real, but not dinosaurs. YEAH RIGHT! Tell that to the T-Rex I call inlaws. :D

[@unnameduser5647]

For my own sanity i am convinced that that was all just an elaborate joke

[@phincampbell1886]

I am insanely happy to hear someone say what you just did, to hear "the Fates," plural, rather than singular fate! Thank you for doing that, I appreciated it greatly!! 😊😊🙏🐖👈👍

[@nomar5spaulding]

That bit about subing because you have access to a fuckl;oad of wasps just about did me in.

[@xurmisalwaysright2460]

"And then ppl ask me why I drink...." Feel you there brother, keep on ranting :)

[@jerrysmooth24]

i cant believe that dinosaurs still exist this video was very informative 100% thanks

[@gopniksaurolophus6354]

i want to see the polish SlumShitter video

[@LazerPig]

If you insist: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZmPGYXV3drVpZ68&ab_channel=LazerPig

[@gopniksaurolophus6354]

@@LazerPig YOOOOOOOO

[@whom382]

I want more drunken LazerPig now.

[@CStone-xn4oy]

There are so many dumb conspiracy videos like this on KZbin. I would love to see you react to more of them. Think of it as free content.

[@sethledford9612]

I would love to see your gaming videos. Finding you as a drucken history channel im sure they would bd amazing

[@jwclapp1183]

I could go for an entire channel of this, but I know this would kill your liver.

[@HATECELL]

That Brachiosaurus video is just painful. They didn't even bother to cut the scene out where you can clearly see their lemur face.

[@RichyArg]

They are Coatis, not lemurs, think of them as slim racoons with longer snouts and tails

[@TheRedneckRoman16]

"I dont care about being stung, and i have access to a lot of wasps" is a new one i have to say.

[@user-hf7jp2lt5x]

They would be impressed with the dinosaurs in Salisbury. For a donation to the local charity they move and roar.

[@theengineerinabox2385]

I feel like I’m in the same room as lazer pig and he’s just ranting around wine bottle precariously swung around in his hammy hands as I sit on the couch in terror

[@wilmersandstrom2826]

This brings me back to the earlier years of KZbin when videos like this where everywhere

[@HansHaumichblau]

i need more vids like this, lazer

[@michaelrjburnside]

We need more videos of him just ranting about terrible videos while drunk😂😂😂

[@walnzell9328]

I would watch a video about a lunatic using the drill used for the Kola bore hole to make the pit for an outhouse. That would be a fitting sequel to your first toilet video.

[@skepticowl7417]

I mean if the video showed footage of birds the title would make sense

[@hectorcorona9536]

legit i was expecting the #1 to be a bird, but that would be giving mr. disinformation way too much credit