The First Year (of baby's life) Was So Hard For Me...

The 1st year of baby's life is so hard for me
1st year of baby's life is hard
I know that I am my own problem. I want my cake and eat it too. I never understood that phrase until now. I want to spend 24/7 with my kids, but also have a break. I want to see and know everything they do... but also love to work. I want to do what feels intuitive... until intuitively I know they need me to comfort them but I'm exhausted.
The first year of baby's life is really not my favorite, but I LOVE toddlers, I love teaching, I love learning with them it's so fun!
Share with me anything you do that makes the first year harder than it needs to be!
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00:00 I make the first year of baby's life so hard
00:13 Hey Shayla Introduction
00:29 It gets easier after the 1st year of baby's life
00:52 I'm a toddler person
01:16 2nd postpartum was better!
02:21 Newborns feel easy when you have a toddler
02:45 The hardest time for me is 4-12 months
03:07 Intuitive parenting for ME (and the village)
03:47 1. Breastfeeding
05:44 2. Childcare
06:37 3. BedSharing
07:34 Extra sh*t I do
08:23 After the 1st year of baby's life things get more predictable
08:59 My favorite age

[@Mama_Mariah]

Growing up all I wanted to be was a mom. Then I had my first and hated motherhood. I thought I wasn’t cut out for it. My daughter would cry for hours and I thought to myself how could anyone possibly like this. Now she’s 16 months, and it’s so much better. I’m so thankful there are more people talking about the challenges of infants, and that it doesn’t stay that way forever. It’s so hard to see that perspective as a first time mom.

[@cassiadickinson9029]

Thank you. I needed to hear this today

[@rebeccazeman9309]

Oh you're totally me! I wanted to be a mom forever and I even went through IVF bc I wasn't getting pregnant. Had my son and oh man I regretted it so much! I was miserable. Once my son started walking at 13 months I felt the clouds part. Things were so much better! Now at 19 months I love being with him most of the time. Some days I'm exhausted and the tantrums drive me nuts but usually I enjoy him so much!

[@risanaomi4958]

The big question… would you have another?!

[@Mama_Mariah]

@@risanaomi4958 Yes. We’ve been trying for baby #2 for about 5 months now.

[@karahope8249]

You are not alone! We come with expectations we don't even know we had about motherhood and reconciling it to real life is so hard. But mama, you are the best mom for you baby and there are so many unexplicable joys. ❤ hang in there!

[@Ms.LindsayLu]

As a mother of 4 I can agree that the first year with my first baby was by far the hardest year of my life. So much adjustments and never lacking sleep like that in your life. But once you get through that you can literally do anything!

[@blancab3484]

Omg and then add on to that getting pregnant 4 months postpartum from first baby and I’ve just been surviving and counting the days till I give birth to my second in a few weeks so I can get some sense of normalcy. I go through bouts of paralyzing anxiety like 3 times a day but somehow making it through and managing to find the good in this crazy situation. I’m glad to hear I’m not alone.

[@Ms.LindsayLu]

@@blancab3484 wow that is tough! When you’re in the moment it feels like it will last forever but the hard times will pass and you will be so proud of yourself for never giving up! You got this!

[@sarahroberts7374]

​@blancab3484 not long now, you got this Mama!!!!! ❤ I'm due in 6 weeks with my 2nd but my older one will be nearly 3 when new baby comes. It might be hard now but it will all be worth it in the end for you having them so close together!!

[@Ms.LindsayLu]

my kids are all 3 years apart except the last 2 are 2 years apart. 3 years is a golden number i think it was a lot easier with the 3 year difference! still hard but not too bad!@@sarahroberts7374

[@war5561]

I hate when ppl say ‘oh just wait until they’re a toddler!’ Like yeah I literally can’t wait.

[@naorivas]

I'm the complete opposite. I love all the infant neediness. Toddlerhood is the hardest thing ever.

[@selenesundara]

Me too, I am not surviving toddlerhood so far 🫠😵‍💫

[@madisonjane9865]

After having my 2 kids 19 month apart while also nannying a newborn and 18 month old.. I can officially say I do not like babies anymore. Toddlers are where it is at!

[@sophieclarke7107]

I have a one month old colicky baby and stumbled across this video without having ever watched any of your videos at all... and i NEEDED it. I keep thinking "is it meant to be more enjoyable than this???" And hating myself for the fact i'm not enjoying every moment. This shit is HARD but the comments here helped so much

[@user-th9sb6ln8o]

I highly recommend checking out the probiotic Evivo for your baby. It’s expensive but it saved our life.

[@sophieclarke7107]

thanks so much ... ordered!!

[@abigailloar956]

Mine was very colicky and I couldn't figure out why until we started solids. He was allergic to eggs, dairy, and oatmeal. So while breastfeeding if I took one thing out of my diet he was still in agony because it was multiple things. He loved eating solids and felt much better on them and I went to formula at 6 months due to all the discomfort. It gets better but sometimes you can feel like a mad scientist obsessed with solving a problem. It can take awhile to figure out what the problem is, and it is painful in the moment, but thankfully they are not newborns forever.

[@sophieclarke7107]

omg yes !! deffo like a mad scientist right now! CoLactase drops have saved us in many ways so cant reccomend those enough. newborns definitely aren't easy!!!@@abigailloar956

[@sherryestabrook281]

I relate to this so much! I literally watched this while trapped in bed at nap time with my two year old bc of my love/hate relationship with her depending on me to still breastfeed to sleep when she’s at home!

[@brookiejai]

My son is almost 16 months old and I’m loving it so much. We want to have another and I actually fear the newborn stage and doing this all over again. Hearing this definitely validates my feelings about that!

[@sweetlolitaChii]

It's so wild that babies need their moms for the first 18 months (because of course, right?) yet the average mom in the US has to go back to work 10 DAYS after giving birth because we have zero federal paid parental leave. Thanks for sharing all of this!!

[@Stoney423]

I'm a first time mom of a 9 and a half month old. I don't have any parental figures so when I became a mom I just did things intuitively and it led me to breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping and baby wearing. I haven't been away from my baby for more than maybe 20 minutes. It's been so hard and I really felt like it was something wrong with me in my inability to handle it all the time. This made me feel better. Better about my decisions and better about myself. ❤❤

[@maryjaynebarber1774]

This is it. I'm just over a minute in and you've said the words I always say but never hear from another mom - "I'm a toddler person". I knew I loved your page for a reason 😍❤️

[@MrsYoung-in9ov]

Me too! My favorite was like age 3-5

[@sarahroberts7374]

I've always said this even before I had kids!! And my Mum said "just wait til you have a toddler!" And now I have a 2.5 year old I stand by it! The newborn phase was the hardest for me, whereas I've friends who said that was the easiest bit and the toddler bit was the hardest. Were all different 😊! 6 weeks til my new baby born eeeek ❤

[@morgan6404]

I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. People say I am wound tight but I just care sooo much and I was obsessed with my first baby's sleep (and still slightly am). If he doesn't sleep I blame myself and fear it's gonna mess everything up! Ugh. But you're right it's getting easier as he gets older.

[@heyshayla]

Yes!!!! So much blame!!

[@emilydrummond2495]

I have to say I do everything almost opposite of what Shayla described in this video (daily schedule for my infants, sleep train/night wean very early, etc.) but I still love this channel and Shayla's content because her philosophy of doing what works for your family is spot on. And of course there are many things that we do the same - cloth diapering is how I first found this channel!

[@heyshayla]

And I support you for doing what works for you ❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏

[@user-ru5qg5cz2l]

Everyone said it’ll get better at 3-4 months and my life is SO MUCH HARDER. (All revolving around lack of sleep for me). All I wanted was to be a mom and now I’m always stressed and tired and I feel like the biggest failure.

[@kaycevictoria9947]

THANK YOU! thank you so much.. just thank you. Lol i am so tired, this first year has been crazy. I dont know how people online get soo much done with their baby around. not my experience. Literally some days i have to choose between dishes or shower.. dont get me started on sleep and naps.

[@kassianistevens]

Thiiis. I have had such a frustrating time trying to get stuff done. I love my baby so much and sometimes I don’t get stuff done because I hate putting her down. I just want to love her. But I get anxiety from all of the things going undone and I’m trying to figure out how to balance. I feel like I lose entire days and idk what I’m doing wrong.

[@gretagotlieb]

So relatable! I co-sleep, no sleep schedule and feed on demand with my 7month old and I have a 2years 8month old. It’s tough being so needed but I agree it’s best to embrace it if you don’t want to change it, it goes so fast and I feel so grateful although it’s overwhelming at times I wouldn’t change it. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to send them to kindy but aiming to send my daughter at 3years old.

[@sumeyye9677]

my baby is almost 9 months now and I am living everything that you just said... thankss for sharing

[@kelliemccarty6041]

PREACH! I do not enjoy the first year and I thought for a long time that I was a horrible mother because of it. I now have a 3 year old and 1 year old and am loving life.

[@cindymolitor2931]

How great is that for your babies though that they have such a strong attachment to you in those first few months. I agree, it's so taxing for you as a mom, but the foundations of trust are really being laid in the first year. Its such an investment of time and energy but I feel like it pays off when they know they can trust you to care for them.

[@pool8party]

Im so thankful that i struggled to get my kid used to the crib becausr now at 26 months i can plop him in his bed an hour before bedtime and he puts himself to sleep. It is glorious

[@myleehewitt2027]

So glad I found your channel! ❤ I have a 9 month old and I literally do everything like you do. It is so hard but I wouldn’t change a thing it works for me and it feels so natural. It’s good knowing there’s other women who breast feed on tap 24/7 lol and cosleep!

[@pearlss4155]

Thank you! I recognise so much of myself in what you say.

[@rennn1001]

I felt every part of this video in my soul and the way you described it is so spot on. My daughter is 13 months now and she’s the funnest, sweetest most social little animal and I love watching her personality emerge. I do all the same things as you and it came to me “intuitively” as well as soon as I blocked out all the noise (sleep training, etc, etc). I too have a barnacle baby and love it and savor every moment. Motherhood is truly different/ more difficult when you go this route but I think the bonds we are building with our babies are undeniable.

[@emmaharris8529]

I thought I liked and enjoyed the baby stage. But now that she's a toddler, it's SO FUN! We can actually make jokes and connections in ways that weren't possible when she was so little! It's really the best! Also, I purchased a growing good humans sweatshirt today, and I'm Very excited for it to arrive!! 😊

[@shannonbrown8918]

The things I do in the first year that make the first year LESS difficult are SNOO, Taking Cara Babies sleep training, napping the baby in the wrap, disposable diapers, BLW over purees, mostly breastfeeding but occasional practice with a bottle, and living close to grandparents. 🙃

[@MrsYoung-in9ov]

Living close to grandparents is key!

[@kirstendunteman5061]

Yes!! Agreed!

[@Kiwicanuck3000]

I always wanted three kids but after my first, I feel like I parent TOO HARD. I threw myself into it so fully that my child is almost 2 and I feel like I’m only just starting to get back a little bit of myself. She’s such a cool kid that it makes me sad I’ll probably only experience all of this once but I honestly don’t know if I have it in me to go through it all over again. Kudos to you going through it again!

[@shoshanaeri8035]

Interesting, I also feel like I parent too hard....hmm...I wonder if they pick up on that anxiety tho...and if the world would really end if we did things a little differently (not completely, I still also like my choices, but I feel like they wear me out too much) Maybe I can pivot a bit and leverage things so I can still do the things I feel are good for my kids but in a way that protects my mental health better...great food for thought!

[@vanessagomezgamboa7670]

100% with you! We do exactly the same and we our new born we are following the same path. The problem is that our first born is passing through the terribles 2, and this has been for me the hardest thing so far 😓🥺😭

[@savanahbbb]

So glad someone said this! The first year was so hard for me too!! I was so set on doing things perfectly. Thanks for this.

[@corabraun1964]

Thank you for this perspective! So relatable. I chose to do the same things with my baby and love them but also feel trapped by the neediness sometimes. Hope the daycare transition goes well for Esme!

[@shelbys2750]

As a mom of 5, going on 6, the first year has been the hardest each time, I do a lot of the same things as you and while I love newborns I also love when they become a little more independent I get a little bit of my life back ❤️

[@Dairyfreeginger]

How do you transition them to independent sleeping? I currently try to keep her in her own bed from about 7:30-10pm. After that’s it’s co-sleeping which works but I also don’t know if she’s ever gonna sleep better. She wakes up at least 5 times a night. If not more some nights.

[@shelbys2750]

@@Dairyfreeginger I have not transitioned a child out of my room without having a new baby and help from my husband. The one thing I think that has helped though is having a toddler bed in my room (right next to my bed) and putting them back into their bed over and over. Also I have never started putting a kid in their own bed until they weren't nursing anymore.

[@enlightenedbranch4994]

100% relatable 100% have made these same choices. Thank you for this video. I am nearing the 12 month mark and the sleep part of this video gives me hope. The fun thing right now is the wake up in middle of nap, sit up the crawl and need mama to lie back down while co sleeping lol but i will say, being their home is a feeling like no other even on the hardest days, there is nothing like them wrapping their arms around you ❤ I love your channel as it’s the mama truth that has been missing from social media ❤

[@risochan]

I do the same!!! Yes very hard but it feels right❤

[@mackenziescott4447]

Yep same!! Nursing and cosleeping and all that.

[@ginapurcell1732]

You're always so relateably hilarious!! We make it hard on ourselves but don't change it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@joyhannahpeters2441]

Okayyyyyy so this helped me find the words to express to my husband what that first year is like. I’m preggie with bb #2 and I’m like… it’s gon be a longggg year. But I’m PUMPED.

[@youtubeacc]

The first year is for sure the hardest! But I felt like we made it a bit easier for ourselves by formula feeding and moving him to his own room at 5 months. I’m a stay at home mom and he doesn’t do daycare and never been away from me more than 3 hours but it gets easier for sure! Plus we chill out more as they get older.

[@Muninn801]

I'm the same. First year was hell with my 2. After 1 year it starts getting fun. I think "the grass is always greener..." for mothers. We wanted to do daycare, but after just 1 day and getting the whole family sick, we were like hellll no! Everything comes with pros and cons.

[@cp3zer0]

I would love to see a video on food/snacks for your kids. I’m always trying to eat clean with minimal dairy but with my picky eater and teether it can be difficult. I’d love to see what you do diet wise for yourself and your Littles at different stages. Love your videos, thanks!!

[@asia.sadler]

That’s it!! I often can’t grasp the why behind my choices (cosleeping, nursing on demand and to sleep, EC, cloth diapers, baby wearing and holding A LOT) when I’m losing my mind from being sleep deprived, all my resources depleted, when once again I’m the only one who can comfort my baby and get him to sleep sometimes staying with him in the room for a full length of a nap cause he needs mommy close and I’m like starving or want to pick up the mess off the floor after BLW meal or see if my husband still remembers me… But when that moment is over I know I wouldn’t change a thing.

[@Vickimer21]

10 months baby here. Exactly the same situation 😂. Sometimes I'm starving or I want to do the dishes but my baby only wants to sleep in my arms or stand up during the day. This is so hard. I wanted 2 kids but I think I would not have the energy to take care of both. However, I love each moment with my baby. I wouldn't change anything.

[@barbaragemmell4606]

Thank you for this! I love your perspective and take on all the challenges and beautiful moments in parenting. This was so refreshing to see!

[@jessicamae7251]

OMG did I need this video. I'm a first time mom (just gave birth on 9/21) and I'm already exhausted. I honestly love my baby and love parts of the newborn stage but I honestly am so mentally exhausted already from breastfeeding and having inconsistent sleep. I thrive on routine so not having one has thrown me for a loop. I know it will get better but some days have been tough! Glad it's okay to say "I love my kid, but I don't love the phase of life I'm in right now." Because that's exactly how I feel.

[@oliviahtaylor8896]

You’re not alone! I have two (21 months & 9 months) The newborn stage is HARD but you will survive I promise 💜 You’ve got this! Do what works for you and your baby, every family is different. Your mental health is so important, if you are struggling reach out to your OB💜

[@Guruthosa]

It honestly gets better. Even 20 months in, I haven't slept a full night and am still nursing (these two are so linked). But somehow, I'm alive. In these early days, don't be hard on yourself and just try to take it easy. Later, you can add things back into your life. It gets sooo much better at nine months, then twelve, eighteen. There's light on the other side of this, I promise.

[@kenicox8192]

I just gave birth (9/25) and am in the same boat. I did not prepare for the hormonal transitions after giving birth. There are moments when it seems soo overwhelming.

[@reemsaed7839]

It’s so interesting to hear this and I’m so happy for you! Toddler years have been wayyyy harder for me! Sleep just keeps getting worse for us yay

[@meganmccarthy5444]

Thank you so much for making this video, this is literally me. These very conscious decisions allow for such tender bonding and secure attachment but also gives mamma very little time to herself to recharge.

[@moonmom351]

I needed this. Simply Thank you!

[@tonipashova8418]

Loving your perspective. Thank you for the wonderful content!

[@jolandivanzweel7781]

I feel you. I get you. I just love you.

[@dawnforlife]

"I make it hard on myself but I wouldn't change it." 😂 Whew...why are we like that?!?!?! hahaha I wouldn't change a thing too but then I feel like I made it SO hard with so many rules that I want to stick to. No paci, no swings, no this not that..ahhaha Doing elimination communication and having my toilet on the other side of the apartment and not using a potty because it feels like extra work to aim and to clean the potty afterwards rather than straight into the sink. She stopped pooping in diapers at 6 months so yay there and started using potty at 18 months..another yay BUT it was HARD. Exclusively breastfeeding with a baby who nurses every hour to 1.5 was hard and she didn't take much solids till past two. So for moms who have a past 12 month and feel like nothing changed and it's STILL so hard, it WILL get better! Just another year, maybe! Hang in thereeeee!!!! You always manage to make it funny! 😍

[@PollyWannaCracker21]

Toddlerhood is super fun. I have a 2.5 week old and I am losing my mine. At least I know it will get better.

[@mantleofelijah]

I had to sleep train for my sanity. Sleep is essential. Baby sleeping in own bed through the night by mid way through second month. But we all know how to sleep in our family so that’s maybe just us. But I cloth diaper so that’s tricky re workload… again so worth while long term as they get out of the diaper by age two with cloth. Loving all the stages.

[@HailL369]

Elimination communication is a challenge! I’m not sure how it’s done successfully 😅

[@user-bp7hf4qj1g]

Sounds EXACTLY like my experience. everything. But we've done it three time lol so apparently we like what we're doing. Except I'm home full-time.

[@thedesertdaydreamer]

Love this! I’m in the first year with my first baby right now ❤

[@IndiePrincessKhait]

Thank you for this video. You do all the things I wish I could have done, but a combination of supply issues that hindered my breastfeeding and some other factors made me realize I was not programmed for hard mode first time parenting. I still insist on a few things that might make my life harder, but overall I had to realize my own limitations and let some of those things go. However, since I'm learning everyday... maybe if we decide to have another I'll be more relaxed about it like you said you were. :) Love all your content, so Thank you!!!

[@theneatgeek4536]

Baby turns one October 12th and it is finally getting better. This has been the hardest year of my life. She is not a sleeper. She hasn’t been ready emotionally to sleep on her own til now (I knew she’d be traumatized) so now we’re finally doing sleep training. It’s helping even though she still wakes up.

[@Yeavemealone]

Oh I am a toddler mom for sure. But as we’re planning for a second child I am so excited to really savor the new born phase and tiny baby phase bc now I know how fast it goes by. This next time around I am going to try my best to breast feed. Pumping then doing formula was a brain saver for me and allowed my husband to have really special bonding time w our baby bc he did all of the night feedings. So it’s a give and take there. Great video!

[@MarianneMedlin-dz4dz]

I relate so heavily to everything you mentioned in this video

[@laynieweaver7090]

I loved this and I 100% relate!!

[@auntymimmisreadingcorner]

Great content thank you!

[@rachelgorman2437]

I never comment but this really resonated. I didn't necessarily plan any of it but my 11mo had some health issues at birth and breastfeeding on demand, not sleep training and limiting childcare felt right to me. I definitely feel pressure to change these things even though I can't bring myself to) so this really helped, thank you! Xx

[@CJ2023Incognito]

I don’t do any of these things but I still support you! Lol Do what works best for you mamas 💜

[@heyshayla]

And I support you 🙌🙌🙌

[@Hayleynwong]

I needed to hear this as I’m approaching the first year mark and I feel like I’ve been drained from this last year so much 😩

[@dawnforlife]

I feel so much of this! It took me two years with my little one but it really does get better! 💛

[@Dairyfreeginger]

I can relate to all of this. Except having more then one baby.

[@TamTups]

You are SO awesome 😍😍😍 I LOVE your videos 😍😍😍 gonna watch your "what you need to hear to have another baby " next, because we both want to but are SCARED because it was sooooooooo hard with our first.. sending love 💖

[@poechristhemfitz]

I have a 2.5-year-old and a 6-month-old and I feel like I've had the opposite experience with both of them. The first year with my son was challenging in the sense that I was getting to know myself and having to say goodbye to who I was and what I did before, but in general it was no harder than I had expected it to be. The real challenge with him came about 2 months before his sister was born. Boy, did he make me regret wanting to have more than one baby... I was actually scared. But apparently my daughter was born to be the younger sibling to an incredibly demanding toddler. She has, to date, not demanded anything that I couldn't easily give her, no sleepless nights, hardly any crying, no feeding issues, nothing. She smiles throughout most of the day and before she starts crying she gives this shriek that if responded to, stops. My biggest problem is guilt. As easy as she has made it for me to mother and care for her, that's also how easy it has been to miss just about every single milestone she has reached so far. I haven't tracked anything. She doesn't get her own singing time or reading time or even bathtime. He is involved in everything. He disrupts everything. He has been waking up the whole house between 5 and 6 a.m. for about four months straight and powers through the whole day, so I never have any energy. I am desperately trying to salvage just about everything in our house. He has been pulling out the grout on our stairs, he has been digging a hole into the wall whenever he feels ignored (e.g. changing her diaper, feeding her, doing household chores...) using whatever pointy object he can find.... when it is really her that is not getting any attention at all besides meeting her basic needs. He does show love and understanding for her and he can be incredibly sweet with her. But then he hurls books and toys at her too, and he's bitten her several times. And there is no reasoning with him. I have explained and repeated and I've involved him and reprimanded him, I've done time outs and time ins. He fights getting dressed/undressed and diaper changes, but then is super into potty training and then suddenly not. Meal times are a whole thing, leaving the house is a huge ordeal, as is getting home.... there is just nothing that's easy with him right now. And it's been like this for 8 months now. And he is so. So. Strong. So yeah, what I actually wanted to say is that the first year has been the easiest for me so far. Let's see what our little one has in store for us after she turns one.... 😬😭😅

[@corabraun1964]

That sounds so intense! I don't know if it would be helpful for you, or if you've already heard of it, but the podcast Unruffled, by Janet Lansbury (and her whole website) has a lot of good info about communicating with toddlers and handling challenging behaviors. Glad you have such a sweet 2nd baby, but that does sound frustrating that you don't get to give her much one-on-one attention (or look away from your toddler for a moment without him destroying the house!). Janet talks a lot about the transition to having another baby.

[@sarahelizabeth1808]

Sooooo relatable! 😅❤

[@Caitybear2point0]

Hahaha If nursing doesn't fix it then I don't know, it's all I got. 😂😂 so true lmao this video is exactly me.

[@yanka1650]

Honestly i like love you! Im a lot like you when it comes to mothering. People think im nuts, but i dont care. 😬 Thanks for wonderful content! 😊 ♥️

[@pool8party]

I also love the toddler age. I think i didn't love the newborn stage because my kid didnt sleep through the night until 2

[@carinen8119]

The first year is so hard! Love my child, but definitely glad he's not a baby anymore

[@featuringEKE]

This was very comforting to hear! I have a 7 month old and I nurse her to sleep. She is going to daycare for 2,5 days in the week so I can go work and sleep is getting better there. she just needs to be rocked or moved around. But sometimes, like today after she wakes up at 4:00 am again, I can feel so overwhelmed and like it will never get better. I feel like we didn't have a break since the 4 month sleep regression and it has been something else after another. But just like you said, all the things we do (naps in the carrier, nurse to sleep, co-sleeping in a cosleeper crib for us), I would do again 😂 Being a mother is an emotional rollecoaster. I keep telling my friends (and I'm the first with a baby) that I have never been this happy and tired and broken at the same time lol.

[@Vickimer21]

Hahaha. Same here. Happy but exhausted.

[@nikkiemoore5070]

This is sooo my life right now 😂🙌❤️

[@GodisInYourJobSearch]

The Lord just answered my prayers and concerns with this video. I am struggling with having my 15 month old in day care (she seems to hate it and I dont feel she's ready so I'm about to pull her out and find a nanny to come to the house while I work from home) My gut has felt like its 3 years before we should be putting them in day care, and I've been praying on it and SO sad to need it and not be able to be there for her.... I have cribsheet and didnt read it LOL but your saying the 18 month thing brings me lots of peace that we can figure things out for a few months and then maybe she'll be more ready... Thank you!!

[@leza4453]

We started with 15 months and the transition was rough. With us, it got way easier after a couple of months and then after month 20, daycare was super loved. I wish you luck!

[@Vickimer21]

What do you mean about the baby being ready for the daycare? It is because they cry a lot? My baby is very attached to me. I'm afraid of the same situation.

[@Brianna7104]

People are definitely baby or toddler people! I’m just like you, but I have two friends who think the opposite- that toddlers and tantrums are way more challenging than the “angelic” baby time. I feel like those people either have babies who are good sleepers or are just super chill about baby sleep

[@ericabellew8809]

Omg my 0-4 was so not chill 😂. She got way more chill after 4 months! I hear you though, we nurse on demand and nurse to sleep and it’s a lot. Still wouldn’t do it any other way, but I’m exhausted lol

[@Rachel-fz8hb]

I am currently breastfeeding on demand going on 9 months your right no break. Lol

[@lillianchukwueze]

I felt this 😂

[@FC1JC7AH9]

Hi! I have found your videos to be very helpful. However, you should look into interviewing Suzanne Venker. She's absolutely amazing. She will make you see a different side of this whole idea that babies "need" to be social or that it's "better for them" to be social at such a young age (before or after 18m). The anxiety that moms get from just thinking about daycare says a lot💔

[@rnnelson]

I pumped enough to have an “emergency stash” of milk to last 2-3 days minimum. With my second child that emergency situation did happen where I had an accident and couldn’t breastfeed for two days. Until that happened I was like ugh, this is so unnecessary.

[@erikaplante-jean7745]

I had absolutly no anxiety about sleep and I was just going with the flow generally, but I still hated the first year of my daughter. It was SO boring and extremely demanding all the damn time. Like you can't do anything else then breastfeeding and nothing else. She is 3yo now and it's much more fun

[@kathrynduprey3744]

I would love to see you talk about how you night wean

[@heyshayla]

Search hey Shayla night wean and you’ll find it!

[@ReccaPatel]

@heyshayla I would LOVE to find a babysitter, but I have no idea where to find one. Any suggestions? I don’t know if you have a video on this or if you could make one. I’d really appreciate your advice😊

[@heyshayla]

I’ve had great luck with care.com or asking someone I know who works with high school or college kids

[@roar44879]

Do your toddlers destroy the place? Mine is so destructive and so physical. I definitely worry about his safety more now-- he has too much of the risk taking behavior for me sometimes.

[@olenagrynchuk1383]

Doing same thing as you do with 6mo and 3 yo, second time is much easier as you just chill! Omg that sleep thing and sleep in the crib thing got me ppd! I wanted a divorce, to cut my parent away and myself away from a child. Then the surprise second child came and I found myself just accepting the chaos. We cosleep well, so why to worry?)

[@maeiris]

This is me to a T. I love it sooo much but when I wish I could take a break I feel so trapped but then I feel guilty for feeling that way because at the end of the day I love it?? Ughhhh

[@heyshayla]

Hahahaha exactly

[@kaycevictoria9947]

Its just hilarious how familiar this all sounds.. we do all of those things.. and sometimes im just pooped. Im starting sleep training soon.. i just know that i have a hard time not sleeping with her. Super weird.. so yeah i do it to myself lol absolutely going crazy

[@shanpelser]

Can you share more about your experience with nursing strikes? What did you do? 😅

[@heyshayla]

It usually only lasted a couple of days so I don’t have too much advice

[@msbeautybubbles411]

My first could take a bottle because he started in the nicu and I will always have my babies take an occasional bottle. I'm a mom that needs a break sometimes.

[@AmandaJ__]

You’re a wise woman ❤

[@msbeautybubbles411]

@@AmandaJ__ no hate to the mom's that don't, but I have friends who are stuck with their babies for the whole first year and I really appreciated having 6 hours alone once in a while!

[@heyshayla]

100% I agree!! Pros and cons to it all and there’s defiantly some freedom with the bottle that is needed sometimes

[@FlamedWater]

I have not watched all of Sheyla's videos, so I am a bit confused about floor beds and co-sleeping. Is it that they only keep the baby in the floor bed until a certain age and start co-sleeping afterwards? Or is it a mix of both depending on the baby's mood? Or is the floor bed Shayla's bed where they co-sleep? No judgment here, just being curious.

[@heyshayla]

Floor bed for them for naps so it’s easier to nurse to sleep and bed sharing in my bed at night

[@weldonservicegroup6962]

We did sleep training at 5.5 months and it help soooooo much!! You don’t have to struggle until 1yo. When did you transition to floor beds? How did EC go for both of your babies? Ours was 2yr and 4mo when we started potty training. It’s been one month now and she is doing so well

[@heyshayla]

We did cosleeping and floor beds from the start. The older was better, I haven’t done as well this time around but she knows what to do she just doesn’t always do it

[@abigailloar956]

Yes! People think I'm a monster but we sleep trained at 6 months and at 3 he still sleeps through the night in his own room. I'm going to do the same with this next one. Being able to sleep and have time with the husband is important, I don't care what anyone says.

[@onefamilyataplaceandtime]

It is so hard to be consistent with elimination communication while travelling and moving frequently. My son is 8 months now. The first 5 months were the most consistent. We do the sounds but don't always make it to the sink/toilet. Any tips?

[@dawnforlife]

A portable potty perhaps? I did with my now 3 year old who started using her potty at 18 months. My suggestion is that even if you are inconsistent or even stopped for a while, it is worthwhile to restart because it pays off, in my opinion. It is definitely not as easy as just leaving them in diapers but then again, I didn't need to potty train, which is great. I stopped twice for a few weeks around the 4 month/5 month mark because of so much change and crying and growth that I got soooo exhausted thinking that it's toilet time but wasn't!

[@heyshayla]

I agree my advice is really just make sure they’re comfy on the potty so the learn what to do. I do it way less with my second and mostly just transition times but she’s not loving it

[@natashaf6886]

Great video! Breast pump it is!

[@sbabywhine]

Nope....call me selfish but I put my babies on a schedule, I focus on healthy habits that encourage sleep because I can do all the super intense things for bragging rights or they can be well rested and I can be well rested and sane. I'm sure my children won't send me an angry leter when I'm 50 because I had them on a loose schedule at 4 months.

[@heyshayla]

Not bragging rights, we just do what works until it doesn’t. I love that you do a schedule, I bet they’re great sleepers👏👏👏

[@sbabywhine]

@heyshayla But if it's "a problem" is it really working? Idono. Maybe I'm oversimplifying. There are probably more nuances in the satisfaction that these things bring that I'm completely overlooking.

[@jesscekristine]

I wish i could concieve 💔

[@MusicIsMyAeroplane09]

9 in, 9 on and 9 near... that last 9 is in years right? Right? .... hah future homeschool mom here

[@heyshayla]

Hahahaha yes 😂😂👏👏

[@ap3008]

I'm 7 months pregnant...AND learning all I can. Plan to room share (don't think I want to bed share) and breastfeed, but let's see how that goes. Breastfeeding is weird to me (I mean - my boobs to be a source of food?! lol) and it's seems difficult from outside...but I know it's good for the baby.

[@brookiejai]

My best advice is to just have a plan and then do what feels best. I thought we were going to do so many things but when the time came, I didn’t see a reason for it. You will know what’s best for you and your LO ❤

[@sarahroberts7374]

Love this soooo so much i resonate with so much of it!!! I ebf with my first, pumping didnt work for us so he was by my side virtually 24/7. He was in a next to me cot as a newborn and literally the second he turned 6 months he was in the bed with me and we've loved co-sleeping ever since! He's 2.5 now. I didnt even get him a toddler bed i went straight to a single bed with a bed guard so that i could cuddle him to sleep then slide out the bed. Took us AGES to break the boob to sleep connection - by the time i got him off his bedtime boob he was past 2 and i was pregnant with my 2nd who's due in 6 weeks! I went back to work part-time when he turned 1 so he would be with my Mum for the day but when i finished work and collected him he would literally be pulling my top up 😂! Only things i didnt do was cloth nappies (occasionally i use reusable but mainly disposable) and EC. I dont really get much help as his Dad doesnt live with us so i have to accept my limitations. First year deffo the hardest with such a poor sleeper and TEETHING! Hes an amazing little toddler now so cuddly and lovely and communicative! Just hope his new baby brother is going to be an easier baby 😂❤

[@beckyhankins7134]

My child was colic and reflux, and then high maintenance. 🥲 He’s so high strung, but it’s gotten so much better at 1; give me a toddler all day long! But it lowkey helps, cuz I know what to do if I get another baby like him much sooner. And if I get even a slightly more chiller baby next, then it’ll be a breeze in comparison, lmao! The most important thing I’ve found is figuring out what works for you and your family. ❤

[@Surprisebaby]

question about your night weaning. what ages? cuz im basically like you. co sleep, breastfeed to sleep, EC, cloth diapers, only one who can make baby chill out. but thing for me. i cannot sleep with baby in the bed anymore. shes att hat age where she is kicking and waking and ugh. but ive been super nervous about night weaning. everyone in my family did their 4-6months of breastfeeding and called it quits. ran right into formula's arms cuz it got hard. yeah breastfeeding is hard lol. anyway. i want to continue breastfeeding but i need some sleep

[@heyshayla]

We did it at 13 months with my first, and 17 with my second