The Game That's Nothing But Stairs

Patreon: / oneshorteye
Discord: / discord
Shop: oneshorteye-shop.fourthwall.com/
PLAY STAIR QUEST: decafjedi.itch.io/stair-quest
PLAY STAIR QUEST WINTER 2023 Edition: wilcoweb.itch.io/stair-quest-...
Big thanks to The Space Quest Historian, DecafJedi, and WilcoWeb
SQH: ‪@spacequesthistorian‬
DecafJedi: ‪@decafjedi‬
Twerk Narrator: Ron McAdams RonsCompVids.com
ADVENTURE GAME HOTSPOT NETWORK
adventuregamehotspot.com/
‪@AdventureGameHotspot‬
‪@AdventureGameGeek‬
‪@ConversationsWithCurtis‬
‪@Cressup‬
‪@danielalbu‬
‪@spacequesthistorian‬
www.cggpodcast.com/
‪@SaveYourGame‬
VIDEO
Robotspacer
• One Year Anniversary C...
STAIR QUEST | A love letter to 8-bit OSHA violations
Creative Commons
• STAIR QUEST | A love l...
T&W Games: Papers Please Part 1- Glory to Arstotska
Creative Commons
• T&W Games: Papers Plea...
MUSIC
Alchemy - Wasted Talent - alchemydk.bandcamp.com/track/...
Alchemy - Sunken - alchemydk.bandcamp.com/track/...
Error47 - Fill Can Tissue - error47.bandcamp.com/track/fi...
Grafikfejl - Rejsetidsgaranti - grafikfejl.bandcamp.com/track...
Grafikfejl - Iltmangel - grafikfejl.bandcamp.com/track...
moongazer 07 - rickroll 8bit improved version - • rickroll 8bit improved...
Grafikfejl - Midt I M​æ​ngden - grafikfejl.bandcamp.com/track...
jbh - Greensleeves - spacequesthistorian.bandcamp....
A. Edmark - Read a Book and Chill - spacequesthistorian.bandcamp....
EpicPotatoFiend & SQH - Lounge Willow - spacequesthistorian.bandcamp....
The Volume Remote - A Minor Concussion - thevolumeremote.bandcamp.com/...
Alchemy - Morning Light - alchemydk.bandcamp.com/track/...
Jon Paul Sapsford - Meeting With Alhazred - spacequesthistorian.bandcamp....
Space Quest Historian - Drivin' Time - spacequesthistorian.bandcamp....
Alchemy - Something To Hold On To - alchemydk.bandcamp.com/track/...

[@OneShortEye]

PLAY STAIR QUEST: decafjedi.itch.io/stair-quest PLAY STAIR QUEST WINTER 2023 Edition: wilcoweb.itch.io/stair-quest-winter-2023 SECRET PARSER COMMANDS any level: bribe stairs, bribe time, crawl stairs, eat self, enter stairs, kiss self, iddqd, idkfa, idfa, idmap, stare stairs, idspispopd, kickstart [anything], brexit, hut of brown now sit down, razzle dazzle root beer, toss bridle brown mountain: look ocean entrance or mauve level (when orb is present): instagram orb, roy orb llama level: calm llama cat level: look manannan, talk manannan, get manannan, dispel manannan, pet manannan tower: look squares sand level: ride the snake

[@FrederikOlsen]

"Look ocean" at the Brown Mountain, which is one of Jess', is one of my absolute favourites. I remember testing the game during development - without checking the parser responses in advance - and I happened to type in that completely innocuous command. I was chuckling for at least the remainder of the day.

[@Johnny_Nitro]

Does Sloose Box have a FB or YT channel? I want to patch something into QfG1 and I hope to ask him a question or two.

[@OneShortEye]

@@Johnny_Nitro He doesn't have a FB or YT, but he does have a personal website and blog. www.benshoof.org/blog/about You might also want to join the QFG speedrun discord. They're very knowledgeable in there: discord.gg/pqJgCj3

[@Johnny_Nitro]

@@OneShortEye thanks for the links and info

[@godofdefeat]

Just wanna say thank you for putting up proper subtitles. As a non native English speaker they still help a lot even after knowing English for more than 15+ years

[@OneShortEye]

Glad you like them! I use DaVinci Resolve's transcription feature to start with, then go through and fix things I notice. Sometimes errors slip through, so I apologize in advance. :)

[@DemBonez665]

@@OneShortEye To echo this, I grew up with deaf family and I have auditory processing issues so this is super-helpful for me as well. Thank you for your efforts!

[@rotisseriepossum]

@@OneShortEye>then go through errors I notice I always use subtitles when available and you’d be surprised how many KZbinrs don’t bother w this, much appreciated.

[@twixx1]

I use these too, much appreciated

[@SunroseStudios]

​@@rotisseriepossumyeah. the worst is when they bake the subtitles into the video on screen, and they have crucial errors in them

[@bellduke6417]

“If it exists people will speedrun it.” The Internet in the 2020’s

[@user-ig2qu4fx9x]

Is that one of the rules of the internet?

[@internetreferee8463]

Prove it. Steam Key: 9CTVH-AN6HX-XXAZF

[@denischen8196]

I was thinking if someone made a troll game called Collectors Anxiety that is about everything that could go wrong with collectibles. A collectible that is obtained in a very obscure way, a collectible hiding right before a gate that you didn't know was one-way, collectibles in autoscrollers, a puzzle that actually makes the collectible unreachable when solved, a collectible that is seemingly very hard to get but actually impossible until you beat the game, and more.

[@vinzo0913]

And of course the one-time random collectible that only appears in 1 cutscene halfway through and if you miss it you can't watch the cutscene again, and have to do a ridiculous side quest to get the cutscene back, which then plays at double speed

[@patientallison]

> a puzzle that actually makes the collectible unreachable when solved Flashbacks to the World 3 star in Braid

[@QuantemDeconstructor]

That unreachable when solved one reminds me of the Destruction Sphere reward in Macalania Temple back in FFX

[@asdbanz316]

​​@@vinzo0913 1 hour long cutscene which is collectable, but you need to rewatch it because first time you didn't knew. Me playing witness

[@Mythraen]

A collectible (or switch) where you have to click it pixel perfect... if you don't, you actually click on the ALSO clickable surface next to it, which is somewhere between annoying and game-ending, depending on your level of trolliness.

[@EilonwyWanderer]

The fact that nobody recognized "It's showtime, Synergy!" is... Truly outrageous. Truly, truly, *truly* outrageous!

[@OrgaNik_Music]

"Everyone should recognize the same niche things I do!"

[@MrDrCthulhu]

@@OrgaNik_Music They're quoting a line from the theme song.

[@Mythraen]

@@MrDrCthulhu I was wondering. It looked rather specific.

[@Bobo-ox7fj]

I'm certain I've heard that line, spoken in a deep male voice somewhere before

[@asterionarts7490]

My parents scoffed at me when I announced I have finally beaten the Space Quest II cyan plant maze. Back in the day, they did it on monitor that displayed only shades of green. Mad respect.

[@Mythraen]

Unless they can provide you with such a monitor, they have no grounds for scoffery!

[@MagusMarquillin]

Never in my humblest dreams did I think Stair Quest would ever get the documentary it richly deserved, but you've just made it. You're doing gods work my Eye!

[@razor1199]

Told you bout stairs bro.

[@jaromeltuzerad9267]

i told you dog

[@residentgiant]

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

[@ataraxianAscendant]

:Y

[@pinhead7422]

Am I the only one who thought the "short line, long line" sign joke was going to be a Loss reference?

[@spacequesthistorian]

Missed opportunity.

[@Jurarigo]

"I need a song that sounds like Moonlight Sonata, only better, and I need it in three days" Whew, no pressure here, such an easy task! For what it could be considered a shitposting game no less (but made with a lot of love and respect... except for Roberta).

[@decafjedi]

I'll confess to writing the Jem and the Holograms reference at <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="760">12:40</a>. I was a huge fan of the cartoon as a kid, even before Christy Marx was associated with Sierra. 😁

[@yawg691]

I got it! You have at least one appreciator :)

[@mecchamouse5535]

@@yawg691 There are dozens of us! 👩‍🎤💅

[@EilonwyWanderer]

A truly outrageous reference! Glad there are others out there who recognize Ms. Benton's brilliance 😁

[@rusinoe8364]

​@mecchamouse5535 DOZENS

[@walnut_raisin2621]

it was awesome to see! love that show

[@YacobBean]

Stairs! Stairs! Stairs! Stairs! Stairs! Stairs!

[@YukoValis]

*falls off*

[@hughmarshall3299]

@@YukoValis *that stupid owl shows up in your face again NO MORE FOR TODAY

[@MagusMarquillin]

🧎‍♀ Stairs! Stairs!🐉🤺 Stairs! 🤸‍♂ Stairs!🏃‍♂ Stairs! Stairs! 🧑‍🦽

[@NeonNijahn]

Some people just want to watch the world fall down a staircase

[@rusinoe8364]

piss yeti

[@dotcom137]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="482">8:02</a> "I need a song that sounds like Moonlight Sonata, only better, and I need it in three days" I was drinking coffee, man... 😂

[@FrederikOlsen]

Jess is a tough boss. Tough, but fair, and at least I did have two advantages over old Ludwig van: 1) I had a DAW. 2) I'm not deaf.

[@shinyagumon7015]

Of course Space Quest Historian wrote all the dirty jokes, that naughty boy.

[@Jurarigo]

Should rename himself to Swear Quest Historian :3

[@decafjedi]

SQH wrote all the naughty lines, Gareth wrote all the clever ones, and I wrote whatever was left. 😁

[@wilcoweb]

@@decafjedi I think Frede wrote most of the musical ones too :D

[@merrja]

Space Quest Historian's setup is so sparse that it looks like he's streaming from inside a prison cell.

[@Xylophytae]

Those are usually the best ones

[@spacequesthistorian]

My bedroom, my prison... same difference. 😆

[@Apeofd00m]

I had to go back and pause that list of commands, dear lord that’s amazing! “There are easier ways to get circumcised” 😂😂😂

[@Krankenstein105]

I would like to point out that Leisure Suit Larry II had a sequence where you would have walk a narrow path and it was IMPOSSIBLE to fall down. I think you actually got points for trying to fall.

[@polygon586]

You get points temporarily, but you lose them at the end of the sequence. The points are there just to bait people into falling on purpose, so they see the full range of increasingly silly survival animations 🙂

[@FelisImpurrator]

Chadwick looks more like the Duolingo owl than Cedric. Fitting, considering his clearly homicidal nature.

[@KuuImpact]

This is really cool! But they should have warned us about the stairs...

[@TenuousCatz]

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

[@GlutzahnLP]

this is such a loveletter to sierra, the 80s and dumb humor, I love it (even tho I was born outside of the 80s and redescovering these classics) I also love how the Dev Team discovers some stuff just in the interview with you bc some other dude put it in XD

[@spacequesthistorian]

We had a shared spreadsheet for parser commands which everyone on the team could edit. Through some sort of black magic, our programmer Patrick would export that spreadsheet and dump it into the game. But since it was a shared spreadsheet, everyone could just type in whatever they felt like, and Patrick would just dump everything into the game, no questions asked. The only rule we had was that we shouldn't edit or remove other people's contributions. So there is a TON of stuff in that parser that I didn't know was in there until OSE had me look through the spreadsheet for this video.

[@GlutzahnLP]

@@spacequesthistorian haha thats about what I thought happened. Great Work eitherway

[@rossmallo]

I love how you didn't even need to say out loud that SantaClaus holds the record for this game at this point. At this point it's a borderline formality.

[@VaporeonEnjoyer1]

I feel that if someone wanted to get Santa committed to an insane asylum, they'd just have to show this video, then the WR, and simply say "Your honor, this man is clearly sick." And he'd be carried off in a straitjacket on the spot. The evidence speaks for itself.

[@DoctorSwellman]

All I got from this video was: >stairs are cool >getting rick rolled by stairs is a real fear I have now Really cool vid!

[@ffffffffROTHY]

I see the developers named themselves after that audio glitch from King's Quest 5 where you play it in DOS with the CD version in the tray, and all the dialogue is messed up and in the wrong spots.

[@spacequesthistorian]

Yes we did! When we saw that video from Rev. Scarecrow, we could not stop laughing at it. It's still funny!

[@spacequesthistorian]

I actually did a video that explains how to go about getting that audio-glitched up version. A common misconception is that you have to play the DOS version with the Windows CD in the drive, but that's not true. There is no Windows CD version of KQ5. You have to play the original CD install with the re-released SierraOriginals CD in the drive. kzbin.info/www/bejne/gWfdhqdvm7RsldU

[@ffffffffROTHY]

@@spacequesthistorian Oh, interesting! Thinking on it now, the explanation RevScarecrow gave wouldn't make much sense, but now that I know it's due to re-release's improved audio files having different labels, then I can understand why it happens at all.

[@charlottecorday8494]

Sorry, the King's Quest 3 stairs are too triggering to watch this. I'm going to go call my therapist real quick

[@JenxRodwell]

See to me the thing that caught me completely off guard was...the cover. I did not expect to see Jon Hodgson's art on this project hah!

[@decafjedi]

He was very kind agreeing to let us use it free of charge (since it's a free game).

[@hitempguy]

Ok, that Rumpelstiltskin problem is complete BS lol

[@Mythraen]

Roberta Williams did a lot of very poor game design decisions. I think she also did some good things for Sierra, but I think she will most be remembered for the bad things.

[@Spiderplant1185]

@@MythraenI have got to disagree. It’s the frustrating puzzles that bond us together and keep us laughing 30+ years later (also why this fan game even exists) ! She’s recognized for more than just her moon logic.

[@CarletonTorpin]

Once the chiptune Rickroll occurred, that song looped in my head for the remainder of the video’s runtime.

[@mikeforte]

This has got me cracking up. I love that Stair Quest exists hahaha

[@YelenaSkunky]

This game is a masterpiece. And the fact that there's speedruns is just a cherry on top.

[@wymanrtaylor]

I vote for a long-form “Fate of Atlantis” vid in the same vein as the rest of your catalogue

[@WannabeMarysue]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="857">14:17</a> golden retriever cameo!!!🎉🐶💯🙏🐕‍🦺 <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="999">16:39</a> another one

[@NeonNijahn]

This is like chained together in a sierra adventure game.

[@username5155]

“The game that’s nothing but stairs” sounds like something a Game Journalist would say about Mario 64 after getting 50 stars and not reading the textbox for the Infinite Staircase.

[@lordmarshmal_0643]

Bold of you to assume they can even beat Dark World Bowser

[@TheDeadmanTT]

My life is stairs, and they all go down.

[@GrimmHooke]

The cat level SLAYED ME in concept alone. Thanks for covering this game!

[@dengamleidiot]

OneShortEye videos are just so well made, wholesome feeling, fun and above all: passionate about a nece genre. Love it

[@spacequesthistorian]

OSE is a treasure, and I'm not just saying that 'cos he keeps featuring me in videos. I was a massive fan of his before we ever spoke to each other.

[@acentaur010]

Stairs, my mortal enemy! This game looks sadistic, and I love it! Now I must go play it

[@Sock66]

Jump king but its on a 386 and hates you even more, and youre little brother turned off the turbo button

[@Tharronis]

I've never even played any of these old adventure games, and I still love your videos. Hilarious game and a great video!

[@ADarkandStormyNight]

Space Quest Historian!!! I love that guy!!!

[@AbNormalHumanBeingsStuff]

Amazing! I had hoped you would tackle this one in a video, I never had the nerves to play it through myself, but watching people play is lots of fun!

[@FelisImpurrator]

Alternate title: OneShortEye STAIRS at you for twenty minutes. Eh? Ehhhhh?

[@OneShortEye]

👀

[@FelisImpurrator]

​@@OneShortEyeoh no now there's two long eyes

[@p3t3mit]

Done! Took me 20 minutes. I died 14 times. I don't know what that says about me. Thanks for making this. There's a part of this that just was so fun and satisfying. I'm not sure how all that works.

[@timothymclean]

It says that you died 0.7 times per minute.

[@Cryabetes]

You can just tell how much love went into this game, I honestly had a smile on my face watching this

[@eddieking6723]

Always nice to see The Space Quest historian pop up!

[@SlowMoebius]

Dog getting a good ear scratch at <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="962">16:02</a>

[@JPH1138]

Oh, cool to hear Frede Olsen is still doing AG soundtracks when he can. He did good work on Vohaul Strikes Back.

[@jugomebu]

This is such a wonderfully done upload! I love the questions and how you formatted the interviews.

[@JSterling812]

i love seeing the back and forths you have with the people you interview, i just love seeing people be passionate about something ive been interested in casually for a long time now!!

[@warmachinesdrawn4310]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="815">13:35</a> I had to pause the video. LMAO!!!

[@spacequesthistorian]

😂

[@peopleperson3599]

I warned you about stairs bro!!!! I told you dog!

[@guybrushmonkey97]

Didn't know about this game, thanks for making this video!

[@TheRandomAustralian]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="739">12:19</a> he has a name! That's Spiny Norman.

[@spacequesthistorian]

I love that skit so much. What I didn't mention in this interview was that I had to INSIST it was included, even though no one else on the team got the reference.

[@Fiarlia]

Hell yeah! A new OneShortEye video! Always love your stuff, mate.

[@namemycactus]

Seeing things made from love, and limited time, is always great

[@Spiderplant1185]

I watched a play through for this game a few years ago and LOVED it! I thought it was so clever and definitely felt the programmer’s admiration for KQ. Thanks for the background info about it!

[@Oxxyjoe]

For a game that won't stop stairing at you

[@Zorothegallade-gg7zg]

"I warned you about the stairs bro!"

[@KoopaMedia64]

I sat here waiting for the inevitable description of the game's rooms and how speedrunners optimized the whole game, but then the video ended.

[@scrabblehandforaname]

So fun fact, I actually met the person that made this. He also runs a blog about soda machines in video games.

[@OneAngryDeacon]

Yo, why is this game not on Steam?

[@spacequesthistorian]

That costs money.

[@OneAngryDeacon]

@@spacequesthistorian I wish that I had globs and globs of money so that I could throw them at you

[@minisav16]

They always say the best parodies are done by people who love the source material and it seems to be very true once again here. Banger vid as always

[@YukoValis]

So basically the initial motivation was "how can we be as evil as sierra?"

[@while_coyote]

They should make a Space Quest spoof called "Death Quest" where you just die in hilarious ways every other step.

[@Mantis47]

Ok, but that's just Space Quest

[@spacequesthistorian]

Brandon Blume did an extended version of the Labion root monster sequence for our Space Quest Olympics. It was horrible.

[@kanadakid147]

Thanks for sharing this! I wouldn't have heard of it otherwise! Haha

[@VCRVoyage]

ROBOTSPACER! I got super confused when I saw his face in the autoplay preview, I hang out in his chat often. He just finished up a playthrough of one of the most obtuse adventure games of all time in Maupiti Island, he also did a speed run of it!

[@OneShortEye]

I hang out there a lot, too! Love his stream, and he was kind enough to give permission to use his playthrough for this video.

[@VCRVoyage]

​@@OneShortEyeHim and USC are both lovely people! I'm so excited to play Transfer Point soon.

[@lukastargazer3089]

I enjoy what you put out :)

[@CelticGuardian7]

I actually recently watched an old video on Space Quest Historian's channel about three games he helped make, and that included this one! So when I saw that and then this, I was like, "Is that what he was talking about?" Sure enough! Amazing that it's so well known by this point. =D

[@Nemo2342]

Can't wait for the eventual video about the history of the speedrun of this game 😆

[@k-berry8771]

Timmy Turner's parents must LOVE this game

[@SamuelStokesMusic]

Lovely tribute to the greatest spoof game of all time. ❤

[@lanthala]

I have so many traumatic memories of Sierra stairs that i was unaware of until the opening montage of this video, thanks. I do remember giving up as a kid and having my mother do the KQIV whale tongue section... Glad that didn't get a recreation here!

[@derivesrurale]

missed that one when it came out. great stuff .

[@dglynch222]

Nice to see all those Robotspacer clips.

[@r0bz0rly]

i did not expect this video to be as interesting as it was. shorty knocking it out of the park once again

[@xdcountry]

That was brilliant- fantastic story- through and through. I’ve found my people here.

[@yawg691]

Your vids consistently bring me joy, man.

[@teeonezee]

i love the idea behind the game. Genious

[@DudeWatIsThis]

This game is HILARIOUS, lmao. I remember playing KQ1. Those fucking stairs man. It was replaced by the labyrinths in later installments; (almost) just as infamous. Roberta is a sadist.

[@91Vault]

I was literally browsing speed running videos and look what pops up on my home page :D

[@BenBreard]

I loved everything about this! So funny.

[@saintkupo7164]

Of Course Santa Claus has the WR. .

[@thenonexistinghero]

This seems like the kind of game that's perfect to play with a bunch of friends while making bets.

[@xebatansis]

That is such a great idea.

[@insertfunnynamehere8984]

The cat screen killed me lol

[@nb_nb]

Looks cool! Wonder how hard it is to code a game like that. Maybe i should give it a try sometime.

[@three_seashells]

I love your content. Thank you.

[@OneShortEye]

Thank you so much! Glad you're enjoying it.

[@Bob-qd3bu]

What an absolute gem!

[@Officialencode]

10/10 game omfg. "It's showtime synergy." I love gem

[@MizunoKetsuban]

The other happy accident with the restart to the beginning every time you fall is the name of their group "No More For Today" basically outright demands that you step away from the game at least temporarily.

[@BoxSox82]

Woot new video!

[@Masterge77]

Me: "When do we get to the game?" The developers: "This IS the game!"

[@kingyachan]

Are yes, the Muse classic, Super Massive Hitbox

[@spacequesthistorian]

😂😂😂

[@maripuppquin6483]

you know its a good day when oneshorteye posts

[@ShattForte]

brings back so much nostalgia (and pain) from the sierra ms-dos days :')

[@DraconisLeonidas]

I was just watching like half attention, like with most videos, and then you started talking about the rickroll, and it cracked me up. That is such a good inclusion, I love that.

[@mcintoshpc]

These fellas are absolute *GENIUSES.*

[@neptuneplaneptune3367]

This was an absulute hilarious vidio. I lathed A LOT XD

[@GarrettPetersen]

I have a distinct memory of playing a game on a library computer in the 1990s and being disturbed when my character fell to his death. Watching this video brought it right back!