The Guy I'm Dating Is Taking My CONCERNS As Accusations r/Relationships

[@brookew2403]

If he mercilessly bullied a girl because he liked her. I would hate to see what what he would do to a girl he loved. Homie really thought this was a Wattpad novel 🤣.

[@vanzy01]

Yeah middle school kids are dumb😂

[@tiffinyhunter5901]

This comment deserves way more likes!

[@ciomaria6137]

“Being thirsty doesn’t mean I should drink poison” is the best quote I’ve heard in quite a while.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

That’s a keeper, alright.

[@ZombieMinion1992]

I also liked “show yourself love like a good parent would”

[@ronhall5395]

Absolutely perfect. I like this girl.

[@jbgra2566]

Definitely have to steal that phrase!

[@colleens1107]

If I was single that would be my mantra

[@Fluffy-Rose1993]

If he bullied her because he had a crush on her, I can only imagine the type of abuse he would put her through if she ever dated him.

[@Iflie]

Yeah I think bullies may develop a sort of fetish for their victims, that's not at all a healthy mindset. I do not think you would bully all your crushes.

[@BruinPhD2009]

I'm amazed at how many people still tell young kids "if they're mean to you, it's because they like you." With friends like that...

[@Iflie]

@@BruinPhD2009 That's only true in super little kids. Like my counsin used to bite his female cousin because he thought she was cute, that sort of little. When some guy in highschool says he has the hots for a girl he used to bully badly that's a sign he got turned on by victims of his.

[@jay2thaudy]

​@@BruinPhD2009exactly what i just commented! Its gross and need to stop. It reinforces abuse.

[@jay2thaudy]

​@@Ifliethats not normal or ok. Hope that child is in therapy

[@leviathan8215]

It’s so sad how deep the programming is for women to except abuse and not talk back, and then when they finally lose their tempers and stand up for themselves they’re labeled as the problem. Don’t put up with assholes like this in the first place and you won’t find yourself stuck in the people pleasing trap

[@rmhartman]

It's not just women. Most people are trained to "not make a scene".

[@lnaph]

@@rmhartman this is to some extent true, yet moreover moreover women by far. It is socially acceptable for men to show anger and be considered manly or assertive... but q woman would be called a B. woman are allowed to show sadness and cry whereas culturally men are less allowed to do that however...

[@lolly166541]

Is it? So far I've been hit more by women than I've been by men - women are by far a lot more emotionally abusive then men and those are on statistics/studies that you can find aaaaall over the Internet. @@lnaph Even if we ignore the amount of women who lay hands on their husband knowing that they can't be hit back and/or face no real world consequences. But sure, ofc it's the majority of women who get abused. Definitely. 100%.

[@mirandanils5114]

A lot of women are killed for just saying no. It’s understandable to hesitate to cause a scene although it sucks it has to be that way. Before any ignorant people say “bro no they don’t reeeeee” or whatever nonsense, google and the news is free

[@ineedhoez]

Ayo!!!

[@thekameru6058]

Story 2: Homeboy thought that he'd obliterated OP's self esteem previously, he thought she'd be begging for some validation, and would just be easier to get her into bed than a complete stranger. And he sure wasnt expecting her to call him on his bs regarding 'I mentally abused you because I liiiiiked yooooou'. Hence his surprise. He wasnt there for forgiveness. He was there to try to get some sex. If he actually felt bad about what he'd done he would have tried to make up way sooner.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

Seriously. It's obvious the dude didn't really change or turn into a better person. He kept bothering her when she made it clear she didn't wanna talk to him. He knew he bullied her any normal person would be extra cautious to not make someone they wronged feel uncomfortable. And the fact that he kept trying to ask her out when she said no is really telling.

[@kiwifreund]

Re: the last story: One of my bullies passed away in the last few weeks. His parents posted his obit and sang his praises about how he was such a great guy, and how he and his wife were travelers and did all of these wonderful things, and how he would give the shirt off his back, blah blah blah. Not one single person posted anything to back them up. No one said oh yeah, John was great. He was the best. He did anything for anyone. Not a peep. Crickets. John didn't change at all. He was a bully to the end, and no one was fooled.

[@WilliamBrowning]

No one added positive stories? Even a trash bag like me has friends that actually like me. Bullies are trash and they usually come from bully parents.

[@kiwifreund]

@@WilliamBrowning Still not one to this day.

[@crowdemon_archives]

​@@kiwifreund that is fucking impressive

[@embluvya]

Story 1: this is manipulative behavior. He's trying to make you feel guilty to get you in line. Going to sleep on the couch to punish you for calling him out is unacceptable and immature.

[@AdamaGeist]

'That's odd, because he's very progressive' Oh sweet child, no. No that's exactly in line with progressive behavior. Manipulative use of progressive language to cover for abuse is really not that fucking uncommon in progressive circles, because how much progressives have adopted therapy terms without even trying to understand them. It's just become the easy and narcissistic way to perform DARVO, while presenting yourself as harmless and without flaw.

[@lynnw7155]

Yeah, they are only 2 weeks in. It would make me uncomfortable to have a date talking like that, sexualizing women. Why is OP taking the blame? I'm old fashioned, but this is what happens when you sleep with someone before you know them.

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

⁠@@lynnw7155Imagine how much worse it would have gotten if the relationship had continued on. This type of manipulation could get so much worse and expand into actual abuse, whether that is mental, emotional, physical, sexual or a combination of any two or more of them….

[@sonialinsey8083]

@lynnw7155 It may be old fashioned but yeah I think it’s just good advice to know who you’re sharing an intimate experience with, lol. I’m not the kind of person who thinks you need to wait until marriage (unless you want to) but the gen z idea of meaningless serial $exual encounters seems legitimately dangerous and tiring.

[@koyelimukherjee.3115]

​@@lynnw7155i don't think you should wait till marriage to have sex but sleeping with anyone just meeting them in a bar for 2 hrs or something is stupid and dangerous. If you are going to be vulnerabe to someone, atleast know them better.

[@MarkNarrations]

Happy Spoopy month all!! 🎃🎃🎃

[@rayneingdown]

Happy Spoopy Month!

[@catsncrows]

You as well!🍁🎃👻

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I'm so excited

[@Soul_Slayer]

Happy Spoopy Month!!!

[@amberleeannalee1999]

🐈‍⬛🧙‍♀️

[@frankiefrankenstein17]

Story 2: Thomas sounds like he thought bullying a girl in HS was the best way to show that he had a crush on her Good on op for telling him off, he more than deserves it Edit: sadly, called it. That shit's so toxic.

[@lynnw7155]

Oh yeah. You like a girl so you call her hurtful names. I wonder if that strategy got him a lot of dates 🤣 She should have reminded him of the mean things he said to her; I'm sure they are all burned into her memory.

[@RequiemPoete]

I think it's more theybdont know how to manage their feelings and lash out.

[@HaleyJo1992]

Story 1: My grandpa said "Pay attention to how they treat other people" and "Pay attention to how they behave when they aren't getting what they want." My grandpa was a wise man.❤

[@elizabethrossi7604]

1: GET OUT while you can. You AREN'T in a "relationship" YET. You've only been together a few weeks. And if you find this behavior offensive now, it will be worse, later. His sophomoric observations of women WILL NOT CHANGE. He may not say it aloud, but he's thinking it. And you WORK together??? Honey, RUN. Glad to hear she did in the end. She was BRILLIANT!

[@ImperiousMax]

The audacity of that former bully to try and buddy buddy up and even ask OP out... my god.

[@hoppystar439]

Story 2 reminds me of this time I ran into my abusive ex at a mutual friend's birthday party. He pretended he didn't know me and reintroduced himself to me and acted all friendly. Now it HAD been a few years at that point since we had seen each other but I hadn't changed enough for him not to recognise me. I was repulsed by his behavior and left the party. I was so, so angry. He realised this and went to my mutual friend, confessed what he did and asked for my phone number. My friend said talking to me was a B A D idea and refused but he managed to find me on Facebook. He sent me this long message about how he was sorry and how what he had done to me in the past had been causing him to lose sleep. Basically how it had affected HIM. I heard him out but exploded on him and tore him a new butthole and blocked him.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

I'm sorry you went through that but glad you tore him a new one what a POS.

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 When my grandma told me “they bully you because they like you”, I basically told her “Well I don’t like them! They’re mean!”

[@SakuraMoonflower]

I'm so glad you stuck up for yourself.

[@jay2thaudy]

Story 2 is why people need to stop telling their daughters that boys hit them or tease them because they like them and boys will be boys when theyre being abusive to girls.

[@deadworld953]

Sounds like she immediately realize his behavior was gross? Also, while I have heard people tell this to girls before, it was always women doing it. The fathers usually see red when someone hurts their daughter / son. Been on the receiving end of deaths stares before when my nephews started crying in my presence (only once was actually my fault, and it was an accidental head-bump). I find it interesting how the stereotype is simultaneously that men are pigs for 'teaching their daughters to accept abuse' AND men are irritating for being 'overprotective of their daughters'. Like, wow! Can't seem to do anything right without having all the world's problems put on our shoulders, hm? Meanwhile I when a girl at school was assaulted on a date, the female teachers insisted that she must have led him on or lied outright, whereas the male teachers were angry and disappointed at the young man. But I guess that's the fault of men too, right?

[@jay2thaudy]

​@@deadworld953 Seek help

[@zookie3737]

you can tell that OP in story 1 has changed throughout those 3 years... in the first post, she was very unsure of herself, and really trying to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. 3 years later, she seems a lot more confident and outgoing, she knows that he wasn't good for her and she seems to be with someone who is lifting her up instead of bringing her down. good for her!!!

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story 2: Said before and I'll say it again: *Do. Not. Interrupt. Someone. In. The. Middle. Of. Their. Workout.* It's annoying and, most importantly, dangerous. Especially if weights are involved. ರ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ರ Also, the guy needs to stop. *Especially when he was a bully.* There's is no guarantee that the person you bullied in the past would be comfortable with you around. At this rate, he's just going to get kicked out for harassing another gym member. 🤦🏾‍♀️ After update: ...Kids need to be taught how to handle liking another peer in a healthy way *that doesn't involve **_bullying_** said student.* But, from what OP said, it doesn't seem the case. :/

[@ladyv5655]

I was bullied in middle school by some boys (and girls) in my class. The boys would say really gross things about my body. I told my mother about this and she was less than helpful. She assured me that boys do that when they like girls. So, HOORAY! Those boys liked me.🙄 I wasn't convinced but I think Mom just didn't want to have to deal with this, so she just repeated her assurance that they liked me and ended the conversation. Years later I repeated this experience to her again and she said, "If you told me, I would have done something about it." I was so mad. I reminded her that I DID tell and then just walked away. But could someone explain to me , why, if it's true that boys are really this nasty to girls they really like, why nobody can teach these boys that there are better ways to communicate their feelings? Also, why do girls have to put up with this $@!t just to be "liked"? I have never entirely forgiven either my mother or those boys. They don't deserve it.

[@prettyevil6662000]

After puberty, it's not how most boys show they like a girl (unless they are deeply troubled like the man in the story was). That's how young children do it, because they don't understand how to handle their unwanted emotions. Same reason they cry if they get too frustrated. They don't have emotional regulators fully developed in their brains yet. So a boy pulling a girl's pigtail in elementary school might in fact like her (but an adult still needs to talk with him about how to properly handle these feelings of liking her as that's how children learn to control their emotions better). A boy pulling a girl's hair in middle and high school though? No, they've developed the regulators enough to not do that anymore. At that age bullying has nothing to do with liking someone and everything to do with being cruel to the target and looking good to their in group who support the bullying. The only time it's because they 'like' you is when they're engaging in pick up artist tactics. It's called negging and the goal is to lower your self-esteem so that you'll be grateful anyone, even them, is showing you attention. It's not a compliment. It's not even really 'liking' you, it's just using your body and being manipulative and gross.

[@SakuraMoonflower]

I've heard the same thing and I would never encourage a young lady or any woman to accept that crap. I would tell them, "There is a possibility they're doing this because they have a crush and don't know what to do about it, but the toxic things a person does because of how they feel about you is not your fault, nor do you owe them anything in return. If they put their hands on you, beat they as*!" 😊❤😂🎉 Toxic Aunty got her nieces backs'! 😂❤🎉

[@ladyv5655]

@deadworld953 , I blame the boys at school for being gross pigs and their parents for not teaching them any better. I blame my mother for not doing anything to protect me when this was happening to me.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

"Being thirsty doesn't mean I should drink poison." Great line!

[@Alchera201]

OP in story 1 has a really good head on her shoulders. Registered the red flags early on, formulated and expressed her concerns clearly, didn't fall for any manipulative behavior and stood her ground. Good for her.

[@ladynoir8243]

Story 2 is like the time where when boys and girls will hit each other or be mean and their parents will say, "oh honey, if she hits you or if he hits you, he/she like you" . I truly believe domestic violence and bullying are taught to a lot of people from childhood.

[@Kayenne54]

The first (and last) boy who physically assaulted me to show his interest, got elbowed hard in the solar plexus. We were in the public swimming pool. He swam up behind me and grabbed at my private bits. I knocked the wind out of him. No one bothered me after that. Amazing, isn't it? How standing up for oneself can sort out these issues. I was 10. Decades ago before it was even a term, I apparently invented Zero Tolerance, ha ha.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

We have an ad campaign in Australia about DV and it challenges this notion head-on. Very refreshing to see.

[@deadworld953]

@@Kayenne54 read some of the comments on this video. Some of the women on here are 'seemingly' encouraging others TO *NOT* STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES AT ALL, claiming that they might be harmed or killed if they do, so it's safer to just acquiesce to what men tell them to do. I'm being very serious, and it's kind of giving me conniption and/ or a panic attack. WTF? I'm genuinely feeling sick to my stomach right now...

[@Kayenne54]

@@deadworld953 Women would be best served knowing how to at least, minimally, protect themselves. However, every situation needs to assessed calmly at the time. I've related my adventure at age 10, but surprise was on my side. (And also having access to the side of the pool to get out asap). There has been other incidents; and each one I've judged what kind of response would be best. Some unstable men (and women) are best to be conciliatory with, while figuring out a quick exit strategy; to appear non threatening. Others can be surprised into backing off (I've gone more "nutzo" than they are) but it's a calculated risk; and quite honestly, my intention is to permanently disable them if given no other choice (and that intent is very clear in my eyes); what is most sad is that every woman on the planet has to make these quick decisions so often in her life, and sometimes they don't end well. In general, if unable to flee, and in danger of being a victim of SA, experts agree going "limp" and enduring till an opportunity to escape is the best option. But since assault of that kind seems to require being bashed senseless (marks of choking or restraint) to stand up in court, I've never understood their initial reasoning...

[@yamairad1]

Story 1. OMG, I love this story. I've been in many abusive relationships because "I see there best in others". The one way I raised my standards is thinking "Do I want my son to be treated like this." That's when I saw how utterly repulsive my X is. Like a demon in a horror movie showing it's face after playing the frail little girl.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Good on ya

[@CatLoverX74]

Guy in first story is just a predator. Notice he went after an even younger girl after OP. Luckily both got away from him. He was manipulative af and just trying to find a girl that he can take advantage of. Story two I’m glad OP didn’t accept his “excuse” it was just a cop out like others said. The audacity to think he could bully her all those years and then OP would just forgive and forget. Even went so far to ask her out 🙄 I think her friends are right he would’ve said the same to them if he was at their schools. Nice shiny spine OP 😊

[@Brizlebird]

The bullying story reminded me of an experience with one of my bullies. I was assaulted and humiliated by a group of girls who were a year older than me from age 13 to 15. They significantly impacted my self confidence and ability to make female friends, not enough to be very successful in my chosen field however. I moved away from the UK, moving to Australia for 17 years, eventually returning to the UK as a Director for a large international company which had a small office in my hometown. One of the first take I had to undertake was determining the viability of this office. I visited and my old bully turned out to be one of the office admins. She recognised me and realised that I recognised her too. She tried to be all friendly, but didn’t offer an apology. I didn’t close the office down however I did ensure that admin support was significantly reduced - hers was the first job to go. Revenge… 25 years later.

[@cloverite]

You sound unbelievably unprofessional. It’s okay if the office was admin heavy and needed to be reduced, but if you effected the effectiveness by petty actions you are in the wrong job. Are you this unprofessional in all your decisions.

[@tgbedini]

@@cloverite Was the person good at the job? Were they contributing to the company's bottom line? If so, firing them for a 25 year old grudge is damaging your company for your personal vendetta, and as you say, that's unprofessional as heck.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

@@tgbedini Well if she was like that as a kid ? teenager it's probably safer to just kick her to the crub before she strats assoulting and harrasing people in her job.... That's the consequences of her actions, also notice how op mentioned that she didnt even tried to apologise. So she was all fine with it (even tho they both recognised each other). Maybe if she actually apologised the outcome would have been different

[@tgbedini]

@@Emi_TheWinged You seem to have missed the fact that this happened 25 years after the bullying. She's not a teenager anymore. And OP didn't do anything to find out if she was or wasn't a good admin NOW, you know, when she's working for the company, and either is an asset, or isn't. Maybe this person is a bad employee. Maybe they are the best the planet has to offer. You don't know, and OP doesn't either. I'm not defending bullying, but what OP did was unprofessional. If you can't accept that, then there's no reason to discuss it.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

@@tgbedini Professional or not I wonder how it would look like if the roles were reversed? If i had to guess the bully would gloat that she is succesfull and op is not. She didn't change, if she did she would have apologised. You are too naive.

[@l.g.2888]

My god. He's essentially just ensured she'll never feel okay with raising any concern again, will second guess herself every time she has an issue with anything, will gaslight herself out of her own boundaries and emotions. The way he acted was such a huge red flag. The guilting by sleeping on the couch in his own home. The treating of a valid concern as a massive attack on his entire character. The way he turned it back on her as if SHE did something wrong by even having a concern. This is an early red flag for emotional abuse.

[@AndyyWithAY]

He's upset because he wanted a silly little girl he could prey on. You showed that you had your own mind, so he had to try to manipulate you. Raw dog or no dog 🤮🤮🤮 Please please please do not be out here having unprotected sex with people you don't know. The risk is just too high. So many diseases. Some you can't get rid of among other things. This was NOT having a celebrity crush. I have plenty of those and wouldn't mind a partner having some either. This was him demoting women to objects and being inappropriately sexual. I'm so glad OP is done with him and has a nice BF.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Me too. I'm also glad that other girl got away from that creep too. This is a 304 who clearly has no respect for women. 🤢 And because of that, he needs to be left alone.

[@BruinPhD2009]

That "raw dog or no dog" comment was wrong on so many levels. An IUD may be effective against unwanted pregnancies, but the STD piece is no joke. Getting pregnant is probably the least worst thing that could happen, from that perspective.

[@pinkesthibiscus]

That intro was so enthusiastic!! I’m loving it. Feeling a bit tired, cold, maybe like I’m getting a cold, but I love spookiness and that just brightened me up. Happy Spooktober Mark, Poppy & waffle gang! 🎃🧇💗

[@aphelion4616]

Story 1: I have had a very similar situation, but mine turned out much differently. My partner and his brother do a podcast that talks about a lot of pop culture stuff. Comics, movies, books, TV shows, all that. I listen to all of them to show support and help promote their stuff. Which lead to the similar situation. They were talking about a movie called 'X' with the chick from 'Pitch Perfect' in it. Well, due to the premise of the horror flick, there were a lot of sex scenes in it and, in discussing it (a tad tipsy as they did, which didn't help) made the comment about the only good part of the movie was watching the chick get railed. Now, I have NEVER heard him talk like that when it came to anyone. Like, he has no issue finding someone attractive, but he's never been so crude about it and it just irked me. So, I brought it up and, unlike the douche canoe in the story immediately apologized for making me uncomfortable unintentionally and he's never said something like it again. You know, we resolved like adults LOL That dude was just... wow... OP was right to get the hell out!!

[@rasheedabasheer4046]

Srory1: Can we applaud finally having friends of an OP that give sound advice?!! 😊👏👏👏

[@oritreuben2184]

Story 1. It’s not up to OP to teach him. It’s hurtful because she likes him but she should walk away. The way she approached him with the issue shows a lot of emotional maturity

[@christinesinclair6938]

My dad said that my late aunt (his twin sister) had gone to one of their high school reunion and reported to him "the people who were jerks in school are bigger jerks as adults" So the idea of bullies not learning a thing makes sense.

[@thebookofgenises]

its nice that someone FINALLY actually took reddits advice the first time. too often ppl ask for help, then do the opposite, then it gets way worse.

[@kateemma22]

OP1 dishing up some great advice and some brilliant quotes in that update. Being thirsty doesn’t mean I should drink poison - genius!

[@dm9078]

This guy is smooth as the ice in Boston Garden. It’s three weeks OP. There are 3.5 billion in on this planet surely OP can find one doesn’t make sexual comments about every woman he sees.

[@impishrebel5969]

3.5 billion??? Maybe in the 80s. About 1,310,000,000 results (0.41 seconds) Earth/Population 7.888 billion (2021)

[@Bijecarli]

"Being thirsty doesn't mean you have to drink poison." 😌

[@beirirangu]

There's a perfect analogy for story #2: "The Axe forgets, the Tree remembers"

[@PuppyKatt]

I like that analogy; I have never heard it before. Thank you.

[@GeminiSolrock]

When I was in primary school, we had the largest graduating class on record for our school which was approximately 120 students. Every single one of my classmates in my year bullied me or were, at best, apathetic towards me. Out of all 120 people, only one has apologized to me post-primary school. I do believe some people change... and some even apologize... but I have learned that most of the people who tormented you in your past will never reach out to apologize and that is something you have to be strong and move on from.

[@wolfwhistlewoowoo6297]

It touched my ❤ that our own Mark could commiserate with the pain of being bullied. Mark, you are always so thoughtful, funny, and an absolute joy! I unfortunately had to deal with one specific bully for the entirety of my school life. It was a smaller suburb and he had a last name that fell alphabetically right behind my name so I had a locker and classes with him constantly. To be honest, the hurt and insecurity he caused me took forever to overcome and he is one of the few people that I would still tell off and hope that karmically, he has learned to treat people better.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 2: Why is it a common phrase with bullies is that ‘I really liked you for a long time’? If you like someone just not be an AH.

[@alg94]

story 2: something similar happened to me when I was young. I left a school because of extreme bullying coming from the boys (somehow in our grade there were only 7 or 8 girls and the rest were boys) and the next year when I'm having a nice time at a new school that had actually nice kids at it I get a message from one of the boys saying I should give him a chance now because we were older and "he changed". I told him that was nice and never spoke to him again. apparently being relentlessly cruel was how these boys showed girls they liked them. no thanks.

[@EmonyLP]

Yup, I had a grade-school bully ask me out in high school. I just made a face and flat out told him "no".

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

What a loser he is

[@foreversearching13]

I've had high school bullies reach out and only one was actually sorry and we've formed a friendship. The rest just wanted to shill their MLM. Then out of no where, an elementary/middle school bully reached out because she found a picture of us at a talent show (she was forced into my group by a teacher and took over) and she told me she had beautiful memories of our amazing friendship. Right up until I asked her if those memories of our amazing friendship included the guidance counselor and our parents being involved because I developed early and she pulled up my shirt attempting to proved I "stuffed" in front of the whole class. Guess who got blocked after that.

[@GBunnyG]

Story 2: I've never had a bully flat out own up to their behavior. BUT I once worked with a woman who had just started dating someone who was horrendous to me. When I realized, I flat out said - well, I can't say what I said because of obscenity filters. But I ended up getting a message from him on some social media platform at the time (Myspace? Maybe?) about how he "didn't realize I was still upset" and that it was "so long ago" and also that he was sorry and he'd found God, which was weird since we both went to Catholic school at the time. 🙄 I left him on read and told that coworker he was still a Richard. They didn't date very long, anyway.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Unless you're in primary school, "I was bullying you because I liked you!" is the worst excuse ever.

[@HeatherBooksandSass]

Bully story- I was moved to a new middle school and it a huge change for me. Change of custody, going from a rural school to a very urban richer school etc. I stood out for my academics but I also stood out for being poor and from the country. I was placed in at a table with a group of struggling students in hopes i would 'help' them. One boy took that to mean hold me down and steal my homework daily or pinch my arm during a test until i allowed him to copy it. Out of class he was even worse fueled on by the rest of the football team, oh yes he was the quarterback. Years went by and this behavior never stopped but i did get better at dodging. Flash to after high school when i started working out and went to boot camp. I came home for a quick vacation before i was shipped out. My BFF and i went out dancing. Up oozed my bully. He knew my BFF and did a fake double look at me. OHHH I don't think i know you sexy. ewwwww I snorted my drink, sadly missing him. drat. He then said something like smooth, you always were a dork. Then pranced off into the crowd. Karma is a queen though. He's on his 3rd divorce and the man i met in bootcamp is still married to me and we have a great family. :)

[@brew.3032]

I love the spoopy backdrop. Your videos always have the best backgrounds ❤

[@EclipseSeth]

If my bullies come to me and apologize, I would tell them. "Hey it's nice you have change and all, but I am still suffering and an apology won't heal me. Maybe you can pitch in for some therapy for me, since you know, you made me like this. If you don't then, fine. I won't forgive you. It's like breaking a vase and expecting it glues itself with just an apology. Miracles don't happen out of good wishes."

[@littlegreycat]

10:03 oh wow. She is just putting in way too much effort for someone not willing to put anything in, in return.

[@TheMrKristens]

Once. I had a bully reach out via email (we lived across the country at this point). He apologized and said he liked me. I replied that while it was a nice sentiment, I was not in a place to be open to any form of a relationship. I know who poisoned our friendship early on and it was awful. His older brother and I hung out on occasion as we had similar friend groups, but his younger brother (who was my age) was too shy to have a backbone and joined in with the mean kids. Thankfully, I had skin like a crocodile! I was tougher than I looked and held my own without giving my bullies much time in my brain. The other bully I had, didn't really apologize for anything, but thought he could still ask me out. A simple no and I walked away without a second thought. I simply gave them as much space as I had allowed them in my brain. I guess marching to the beat of your own drum and being driven from a younger age didn't leave much time for their consideration. I hope they are both doing well...but I don't regret not trying to be friends with them.

[@FeralShivan]

Story 2: I had the same thing happen to me with this girl in high school about a year or 2 older than me who bullied me constantly. We were in the same group of friends that all walked home together. About half way we would all go our separate ways. She name called me, hit me, threw stuff at me like pencils, stones, snow, took my backpack and dumped it out and wouldn't give stuff back. My friends would tell her off when she did some of these things and I did fight back but she still walked with us and continued to bully me. I hated her so much cause to me she was mean for no reason since I had never done anything to her. One day I didn't want to wait for everyone and just wanted to go home cause I had a bad day and she decided to walk with me, ALONE. It was so awkward for me. She wasn't being mean or anything and was just talking with me. At the half way mark instead of splitting up like we always do she followed/walked with me to my house. Now I was really freaked out, like WTF is she doing? When we got to my home she asked to come in. HELL NO! I made up some BS lie about house is dirty and almost ran inside. She stayed out front for like another 10 mins before she left. I was really creeped out. The next day when I told my friends about it her close friends said she did that because she likes me. I told them she is a bitch and I would never like her and for her stay the hell away from me. Just cause you like someone doesn't mean you can treat them like shit and be forgiven. I know this is a common way some kids/teens deal with their feelings but its not a good or healthy way to do it.

[@MangaGirl232]

Yay spoopy time! Love the music and themes! 😀💙 And I hope everyone has a great week!

[@MarkNarrations]

You have a wonderful week too :)

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hope you do too 💜💜🤗🤗

[@iPsychlops]

I love the quote "love yourself as fiercely as a good parent would."

[@two.lettuce5362]

Regarding the bullying: one of my high school bullies tried to connect with me during university. I told him not to bother, I was not interested in him or his apology. Then he sent letters to my parents address, asking me to come to his church with him. I did not answer that and did not go to church with him. To this day, I am not on talking terms with him (>20 years later) and I will keep it that way.

[@tracicolvis7382]

"None of my past women had a problem with it!" Yeah, and where are those women now?? Not by your side, dude, so definitely not the best argument to make. 😂

[@vampire9545]

Well that's how ex status works.

[@l.g.2888]

Second story: I was bullied viciously as a kid, and I actually did have several bullies apologize to me in middle school and high school. One of them went a step further: she apologized in fifth grade and then started defending me whenever other bullies would come at me. We never became friends or anything, but I acknowledge that she did more than just apologize. She walked the walk of making a real change and she did it when most of my bullies were still gleefully attacking me. Another who apologized actually did become a friend for a while in high school, she was genuinely very sweet to me and I think she was easy to forgive because she was rarely the ringleader, more of a silent bystander (which to be fair, described most people). The third one who apologized admitted he did it because he was struggling in school and it made him angry to see me get better grades so effortlessly, but that it was no excuse. We never became friends, but I appreciated the vulnerability and self-awareness in his apology. The ones who hurt me the worst though? They never apologized. If I saw them to this day I'd cross the street to avoid them. Pretty sure at least one of them is in prison.

[@shadowwolf2044]

I had the same exact experience with the bully confessing. It happened four years after the bullying occurred and was in the middle of school. I happened to cut myself while trying to grab paper towels from the dispenser and was bleeding. I had to stop him and ask him to grab some from the boys restroom for me. Instead of doing this, he takes the time to explain that his bullying was an excuse due to him liking me at the time. I would have sworn at him, but didn’t know any curse words and was still upset from the cut on my hand. Ran back to the classroom crying where the teacher pulled me to the side and comforted me while tending to my hand. Never spoke to him again and never will.

[@kimmywimmy7305]

Story 1, the guy was testing her to see what he could get away with. He sprinkled it in with “good behavior” so she would want to complain. Rest assured, the bad behavior would only get worse over time, with less redeeming good behavior.

[@KSull6736]

My bullies wouldn’t give me an apology bc I chewed their ass out so hard they cried and claimed I was the bully 💀 they can’t handle a taste of their own medicine.

[@Orinatl]

Story 1: Nah… as woman in his age group. Many ‘older’ men are just like that… Gen z shouldn’t have to deal with that shite. Glad she called him out.

[@ceeshnia]

Prior to the update for story one, if he is unable to have a conversation about it as an established adult who is nearly 30, when, at what age, would you be able to talk to him about anything he finds affronting? Also, 2 weeks is nothing. Usually, you start to see masks slip around 6 months, so for his to have enormous cracks in it at 2 weeks as to what to expect long term is a blessing that she should accept. Edit: Wow, he got so much worse, fucking hell. He doesn't even know how to use a mask (good!) and is just a straight-up predator. I wish him no well will. Glad she got out relatively easily.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

Haven’t gotten to the update yet, but yeah-I lol’ed at him being nearly 30 and being that defensive with OP.

[@crowdemon_archives]

Man has a mask made out of breakable resin to be so damn fragile lmao

[@MsTemptation]

S2: NTA. I got a chance to kick my bully’s arse at an all girls fight club. My cousin use to go and was raving about it. My bully liked me but I’m straight, so when I told her that I don’t bat for her team she was perturbed and she thought that I was going to rat on her. So she would taunt me by trying to convince other people that I was a lesbian and I would ignore her. It didn’t work and that pissed her off more. It was just a big coincidence when we saw each other at the fight club. I kicked her arse. That’s why I ignored her in school. I didn’t want to get into trouble for fighting. She didn’t know that I knew how to fight because I’m a pink loving girly girl. The first punch broke her nose. That’s when she realized that I knew how to fight. I had a few scrapes and cuts but I kicked her arse. She didn’t bother me again after that. My brothers taught me how to fight and my cousin knew that I could take care of myself.

[@gigga143]

S: Glad OP caught on to his behavior early on. He was a manipulating, gaslighter and I’m glad she didn’t stick around too long.

[@opal5138]

LOVE THE NEW MUSIC AND BACKGROUND happyyyyyy spooky music, have a wonderful day ❤

[@shellchenonceau6987]

Story 1: you probably found a narcissist. They can't take criticism. If you can't reason w him easily now, it will only get worse down the road. It is called "a red flag."

[@angadremehill8207]

I was a really shy and introverted kid (and abused but that just explains why introverted) one of my bullies started picking on me right after i went into a foster home in 9th. i think i mostly glared at her the whole time she would be saying mean things and stuff. One day in a free day in PE she and her friends started picking on me and i just stood there glaring at them as i dont fight back well at all. then she said i only pick on you because i know you hate me. I got really confused and said i dont hate you. she never picked on me again. Funny thing is i dont know why she would think i hated her, I had just moved to that school a week before she started picking on me, except for the glaring which i only did while she was picking on me.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The ex-boyfriend is constantly trolling for younger women likely because he feels they're easier to control. Good job getting away from him and warning off another woman to his game.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I hope that creep stays single for the rest of his life. And I hope he NEVER breeds and babytraps a woman.

[@user-blob]

Yes. He’s gross 🤢🤮

[@Swnsasy]

I think it's disrespectful to always talk about a woman in a sexual way in my opinion. The fact that he got so defensive about it bothers me as well.. The adult thing to do would be to talk it out not just go like it's just so hurtful to him. I would be so uncomfortable if it's done constantly. I would walk... He deflected, avoidance, manipulative, nah, I'd walk.. He's immature period.

[@davidnash8208]

It's also disrespectful to discuss this with their coworkers.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Well first of all that 8 year age gap at 21 is way too big. The stage of life is just too different. This response from him is manipulative. You're not "projecting" anything. He makes EVERYTHING sexual. Has he dated any other women? I doubt they were near his age bc at his age women see he's a creep and run. You did NOTHING wrong. You barely know this guy. This is way too much drama this early. He'll always devalue you. Run!!

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Especially when it’s a story that’s put here because there’s a problem. The ages are almost always relevant because of that

[@blakethememe3840]

holy shit i wasnt even paying attention to the ages- i heard 29m but not hers so i guessed 29f. YIKES.

[@deborahyoung1873]

When i called my bf out for talking crap about another coworker, she turned on me. She even made the older woman cry, and the woman had done nothing to her to deserve that treatment. I got onto her and told her to leave the woman alone and quit being so judgemental about people. She started telling lies about me at work trying to turn people against me, until i threatened to beat her down. Within the week she was fired for screwing a supervisor in our main building on the conference table. Lol

[@RequiemPoete]

For me: "While I appreciate and accept your apology, and I hope you've changed, I really don't want a friendship with you. I hope you have a good life and treat others the way they deserve. "

[@thehaveninthehand]

F32 here. My bullies bullied me for my height, weight, because I didn't wanna dance with them, and because of my hobbies and skill in class. I was always very introverted and mostly just wanted to be left alone, but they would follow me around school and yell slurs at me. Later on they would sicc their older siblings on me, and I would get home covered in bruises on countless occations. They would also destroy my art projects. One of them wrote to me on fb a decade or so back, and I never replied to her. I don't accept her apology and honestly it felt freeing to know she would never get a reply from me. Let her stew in the knowledge that she ruined a person's life, but that person got stronger and doesn't need apologies from any of them XD I mean, of course I was damaged in more than one way from what they did, but I honestly think it's made me more assertive in a way.

[@onurkneezb]

Story 2: ESH, she should have shut him down, at the very least, the first time he approached her in college. Otherwise, OP is fine to treat him as she did. As one of the commenters pointed out, he likely thinks the past is no longer a concern. It annoys me to no end when people think they can absolve years of bad behavior with an "Im sorry" and a few other polite words, paying next to no penance at all for what they did. OP should have just told him his presence is no welcome, and to stay away.

[@invisigoth510]

Story 2: I had a bully in HS who was relentless I don’t know what made me say it but after he thoroughly humiliated me in front of a group of his friends I just looked at him and said “we both know you want me” He blushed & looked like he wanted to disappear That’s when his friends started in on him “oh migod you like her?” None of them ever bothered me again

[@spikeoramathon]

One of the most poisonous techniques of gaslighting is to turn every minor concern someone brings up into a major one. The partner says they don't like that jacket, they turn it into "so you think I dress like a slob!". The goal is to make sure that the partner never feels comfortable bringing up any shortcoming, because however small it is or however gently they frame it, it will turn into a BIG argument. For those who have been raised to "not make trouble" or "keep the peace," this tactic can lead to years of going along with manipulative behavior or even abuse, because we're trained to be "nice." I seriously doubt that OP is the only person who's had problems with him. "You're the only one who has this problem with me" is another gaslighter favorite phrase. And a truly manipulative person will ALWAYS know how to appear charming, kind, and sweet - when it benefits them. "I did this for you, so now you must find me perfect" is a great gambit for emotional abuse 101.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

I love how you do something a little different every year! Can’t wait to see what you do for Christmas!

[@zambiis]

I was bullied by my sisters friends when I was in middle school. They would come to my house so there was no escape. At one point one of the guys I hadn’t seen in a year saw me and hugged me. I was so startled and asked “do you know who I am?” And he said of course I do. As if he had never been one of the worst people I’ve ever met. I don’t think these people really know the level they are hurting people if they can come up to you after like nothing happened.

[@joematthews3469]

I had some bullies from high school apologise to me. Tbh they had grown up quite a lot and we're extremely sincere. I accepted the apologies and moved on. Was quite therapeutic.

[@PaintSplashProductions]

Hey, Mark, since it's the spooky season, would you ever consider reading stories from r/nosleep or r/let's not meet? Or just some spooky stories from other subreddits?

[@impishrebel5969]

We've already got a bunch of readers who do a good job with those, let Mark have his niche.

[@grogu3789]

New subscriber here Didnt know you were on Spotify as well. Gotta say ive been binging your videos recently. Great voice man! Now i can listen while working out and doing chores thanks to your spotify podcast!!! Great work mate!

[@valicefenris325]

I had a bully pick on me for having a Naruto binder. After we graduated he approached me at my work place and brought up how he loved the show Naruto. I quickly retorted he bullied me for liking Naruto and he sheepishly apologized and said be only did so to fit in. Turned him down flat, don't bully someone then try to riz them up with the thing you bullied them over ffs

[@AngelaVEdwards]

I really love your backgrounds, Mark. They're always so awesome. 🥰

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

One of my bullies contacted me on Facebook. She admitted that she was jealous of me because I was so comfortable just being myself and "not following the crowd" which... honestly made me laugh out loud. I'm autistic and wasn't diagnosed at the time, so my school days were an absolute hell of desperately wanting to be liked and to fit in, and never doing so. But she was jealous of my apparent "not giving a shit" and "being comfortable in my own skin" because she wasn't - she figured out she was a lesbian and was too ashamed to admit it. So she took it out on me. Go figure.

[@lillithherondale1972]

Thankfully my bullying mostly stopped at the end of 8th grade. I shoved one of my bullies down and stomped on his stomach when i finally had enough of his crap. Caught people off guard cause i was a pretty quiet and reserved kid

[@maddy8328]

In love with the background changes and the red sign!

[@EMShelley]

As someone who's been on both sides of bullying growing up, I can say two things: children are assholes, but most will grow and change. As an adult, I've had past bullies approach me to apologize, and I've also apologized for my past bullying as well. I say, if it's sincere, accept it and forgive them, as staying bitter about the past does nothing but hurt you in the long run. But I also don't believe that you should forget. If anything, you can use your experience as something to teach your possible future children how not to act.

[@cj-scorpio7225]

STORY 2 BULLY: I hope you will let me tell you how a similar situation worked for me (and I never had regrets or had bad feeling about myself after). From about mid Jr high & the 1st few years of High Sch., I was overweight & too nice (perfect Bully’s target). A couple “jock offs” as usual chose that tack to take. At 18 I chose to fix all that & drop to a size 6;. My closest friend, then and now (38 years ago) absolutely ALWAYS told me I was beautiful (still tells me that). Keep in mind she was & is totally stunning (not to mention SMART) so even if I didn’t agree I respected her to much to say anything except Thank You. The next year she turned out to be the Queen of a particular Ball. She told me I HAD to go. It was FORMAL & I was too broke for that level of FORMAL. She & her sisters had a room full of beautiful used formals they wanted me to try. One worked perfectly so I agreed. The day before she tells me all attendees (YES-all my abusers present). The girls dolled me up & would have made Barbie herself envious. BFF told me she had heard over the past few months each of them commenting on my looks now (aka back then) & she wanted me to have the opportunity to shoot them down OR show them what they would have missed out on had they been better young men; I chose the latter. I agreed to dances, thanked them for the dances but when I was asked out explained (as kindly as possible) I wasn’t comfortable with that given our history. She was RIGHT, it felt good & I never once felt wrong about it & heard more than once each of them said if they hadn’t been such big jerks to me young……you get the idea. Good luck OP

[@Cassandra-i6j]

I LOVE this background! The pillows on the sofa are freakin cool (so... now I need some)

[@Tacomaisalsonachomama]

My husband was the bully to his buddy’s girlfriend, in good fun, he thought. The day before I married him, I met them (20 years later, now married to each other with kids) and the stories, OMG! 😳 We’re all great friends now, she struggled for a few months but since proving he is still himself just without the immaturity, she was able to welcome friendship with him. We’ve all been great friends since, almost 6 years now. We’re

[@kierstenr1993]

My childhood bully is now one of my closest friends. Some people do change. Still be careful if somebody apologizes to you. It’s best to wait to see the changes than take their word.

[@crowdemon_archives]

Well, yeah. Sincerity is a hell of an impression maker lol Edit: also a proof of character development

[@macylouwho1187]

I ran into one of my attempted bullies in a local store one day and she glared at me with such hatred in her eyes and her face looked like a can of worms. I wasn’t exactly a “sit down and take it” person in school but she was two years older than me and she and her friends liked to surround me and insult me. Two problems- a boy that she liked did not return the feeling, but he did like me. I did not reciprocate this feeling nor encourage it, and two-I have pretty parents and am at least reasonably attractive although not to their level in my opinion. My mother spent money that she didn’t have on expensive clothing and jewelry for both of us to “keep up appearances”. So I could literally be starving in what was, for our area, expensive clothing options. I was skinny from not eating enough, not because I was genetically blessed with a good figure 😂. I would have loved to eat school lunch like they all did. I couldn’t. Half the time I had headaches from hunger. I’d run the mile on the track in gym class and get dizzy from having nothing in my system. But anyway so it was basically two part jealousy on this bully’s part. Reasonably attractive but no super model/nice clothes. This got me surrounded by upper classmates of the b-tchy and jealous variety. Fine, I fought back and never backed down. I stood my ground and they got an even worse insult for whatever they said to me. The day that I saw her in the store and saw she was that same hater who was sneering at me I knew exactly what to do. I laughed in her face and shook my head humorously and said “same old high school b-tch” as I walked away laughing. I didn’t bother to look back but my husband was approaching and while still in range of her hearing I laughingly explained what had just transpired while she stomped off in the opposite direction 😂. Bonus is that I get real food now and I’m not as skinny as I was in high school 😂, so I’m not even sure why she’d still be hating on me!

[@ScooterBond1970]

She still hates you because you didn't kowtow to her nonsense. And good on you for that! 🖐🏻

[@Nikkimommyof4]

I ran across one of my old friends from elementary school on FB a few years back. It was really funny because all I remembered was that we used to be friends. She was someone I had fun with and used to talk to a lot when she lived in my neighborhood for a few years when we were kids. I connected with her and greeted her when she accepted my friend request. The first thing she did when I greeted her was to apologize for bullying me when we were little. I honestly had forgotten that ever happened. I was and am a pretty happy-go lucky person. I am slow to anger and let very few things get to me. So when she reminded me of that time when we didn't get along I honestly did not remember until she brought it up and even now those memories are vague at best. But I guess since she was a parent by that time, she felt it was really important to make me aware of how bad she felt about how she treated me back then and gave me a sincere apology for what happened. I of course forgave her and we moved on but it felt good to know that someone honestly thought about how they behaved growing up and felt the need to make amends for their bad choices even then. I think it makes sense since we all want to set a good example for our kids. I never held any ill will towards her anyway but the apology still felt good and I told her that.

[@chaosshiva4165]

Story 1: DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!!! Op you almost gave me a headache lol

[@madambutterfly1997]

You can't possibly like somebody that much if what he said is making you uncomfortable

[@jay2thaudy]

I can smell the tendies and monster energy from here

[@emanx222]

I've never seen such a naive comment in my entire life. Do you know what it means to like someone? Because by your logic you can't be made uncomfortable by someone you like...what utter nonsense. Like the OP said in the story, everyone has different thresholds for things, her uncomfortability isn't in any way an indication that she doesn't like him, heck the fact that she felt comfortable enough to voice this issue with him is literal proof she liked him enough to be honest wirh him. The guy didn't even attempt to see things from her view yet we have poor OP over here damn near questioning everything. Again i ask you, do you have any idea what it means to like someone? Because I'm sorry, if your definition of liking someone means you wouldn't voice if something made you uncomfortable you don't like that person 🤣.

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@emanx222 if they make me uncomfortable me "liking them" goes out the fucking window and they go back to being a normal person to me

[@Windxchild]

Storytime: My bully never actually apologised to me. I don’t think I would accept an apology from my him anyway. I don’t really care what his reasons were, he ruined my last two years of elementary school, and my self confidence. But what was cute is that, years later, I ran into an old classmate from the same class, who was being really apologetic because apparently he felt like he had bullied me as well. I do not remember this at all, I never really had any issues with this guy. So hearing that he thought he was out of line for something he did, that actually had no impact on me at all, made me feel kinda bad for him. I assured him that I never had an issue with him, and that visibly made him feel better. Also later, when I talked about it with my mum and with my childhood best friend, they both said that they never really saw him as a bully either

[@LovesGaming37]

My former bully tried to ask to hook up with me our freshman year of college. I just laughed at him and blocked his ass

[@brie1162]

21:34 Back when I used to have a Facebook, someone from my old high school reached out about a “ten year reunion”. I pointedly, but politely asked to be removed from the group as I was bullied for most of the time I was there until I found a good solid group of friends that were AMAZING. And I had no wish or desire to see my tormentors ever again. She apologized that I “had such a poor experience in high school and hope you can move past it.” Up to that comment I was going to just let it pass, but I could tell she had no idea who I was. I told her SHE was one of the ones who tormented me and this just further proves that she has not changed since she can’t remember anything past her “better than you” attitude. I blocked the group before she could reply and moved on. The friends I had in high school, I still have. The people I hated from high school, I don’t even know where they ended up in life and I don’t care.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Somehow, I missed this one yesterday. Rock on Mark!

[@Nstachow]

Loving the new intro!!

[@itrasheditgood]

How you feel is how you feel, one of my bullies from high school was dating my cousin, she was cordial enough, but I never got close because she betrayed me as a human being and she never apologized. I didn’t make a big deal of it and my cousin eventually moved on. Years later I heard she died in a snow mobile accident, I still have very little sympathy for her or the outcome. Sometimes your heart is closed because that is the consequence of another person’s actions, and nothing changes that, not even death.

[@yozarahirvi4750]

I think that most of the time when there's bullying from one gender toward the other, it's because of a crush