The Harsh Reality Of Being A Man In The Modern World

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Chris and Connor Beaton discuss the recent rise of the manosphere. What is causing popularity and interest into the manosphere according to Connor Beaton? Why does Connor Beaton think men search for manosphere advice? What do men need to get better at according to Connor Beaton?
#men #redpill #manosphere
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[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with Connor here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/hXewdoNofrWdn7ssi=rlQdroRu1xBQryH5

[@adamkane7513]

You still seem to be covering all of *Rollo Tomassi's* well worn topics years later. Isn't it time you talked to him, Chris?

[@rejectionistmanifesto8836]

​@@adamkane7513no one likes Rollo the little man pickup artist. Bring on Joker from BetterBachelor (he is the only one who truly talks about men's issues without the foolish idea that "hit the gym bro and society will change", he says to do it but still its okay to go your own way when society refuses to change and is getting worse every year and pointing out clear examples of men who did the "right thing" and so many cases being screwed.

[@Syncrotron9001]

I can answer the headline easily. IF YOU CAPITALIZE EVERY WORD IN A SENTENCE THEN YOU'VE CAPITALIZED NONE. You cant lift both side up at the same time, it just doesn't work.

[@ectopicgrain]

G2g

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

They tell men 'do what's right' they tell women 'do what's right for you girl' Massive lesson there.

[@joerapo]

Rich!!!!

[@_eknock]

So Rich coming from you

[@NotNykoh]

Learned this lesson one day on my own and never looked back! I’ll be sure to tell my sons this when the time comes

[@francescaerreia8859]

You know you can just choose to do what’s right for you, too, right? That’s what I do. I’m not anyone’s bitch.

[@mikey92362]

​@@francescaerreia8859 Read it again. He didn't say anything about what we can or can't do. He said these are the messages we're taught from birth.

[@ludwigvonsowell5347]

It’s a bully tactic. The kid that shoots spitballs at the back of your head all day. But when you decide to swing a book at his head suddenly you’re the problem, you’re the one who crossed a line, you blew it out of proportion. It’s 1000% a bully tactic.

[@jediknight38]

That's how I grew up. Sometimes, teachers will actually stand and watch a kid get beat up by another kid almost twice his intended victims size only to step in when the kid who is getting beaten begins to fight back. And guess who the teacher punishes while letting the other kid walk without so much as a scolding. Is it any wonder why school bullies always seem to walk down every school hallway like the own the place.

[@WarlordShogun]

@@jediknight38 Teachers are almost always part of the problem, that's why it's always a bad idea to tell a boy who is being bullied to solve his problems by going to the teacher. Even if the teacher does something it will not stop the bullying but only make it more covert. The only solution is for the boy to stand up for himself and teach the bully the true meaning of fear and pain. From birth, men are living under prison rules and the only way to not be someone's bitch is to make them yours.

[@CrimsonTide001]

Exactly.

[@jediknight38]

​@WarlordShogun Well said. And I couldn't agree with you more. It's being penalized for exercising your right to self-preservation that hurts. And all because those in authority seem to identify more with the other guy who assaulted you.

[@gorkyd7912]

Bullies. Otherwise known as life coaches, urging you forward from weakness into strength.

[@michaelrobinson9643]

I stood in an auditorium of women - the only man aside from the "White knight" presenting at a White Ribbon showcase on domestic violence Here in Australia (Organised by HR at my work who have a massive hard-on for taking down men). It was entirely about women as poor victims and men as aggressive destroyers. All backed in by the presenter using his own shameful story as the "norm" for men instead of admitting he was a weak alcho who beat his wife. I stood in question time and called out - "I work with many Veteran's and men who are victims of abuse, vulnerable and in need of support - or who have simply killed themselves. Suicides in my group are 5x the national rate; Please tell me the names of organisations men can go to". The presenter - a man ffs, had NOTHING. No woman had a reply other than some quiet disquiet over me intruding.

[@thatsunfortunate2771]

Why would a woman be a "white knight" and care about male DV?

[@comentaristametaforico9287]

I'm proud that you tried. These types of event seems fruitless. There's a narrative that abuse is gendered. It's not enough to recognize that men also suffers. They also need to bring solutions. Otherwise it's just virtue signaling, to recruit men.

[@educationalporpoises9592]

that reminds me of this one time that a LGBTQ/diversity initiative group (honestly it wasn't all bad, included disabled folk) presented about the initiatives for making their groups more comfortable in a corporate setting, and I asked "I have multiple friends who come from poverty and have told me that they find this to be a significant barrier to figuring out what and how they should navigate corporate engineering as the first non blue collar workers in their families. Are there plans for initiatives directed at employees who come from low income households?" They seemed a bit awkward about my question, but one gay guy talked about his experience being a poorer kid and gave credence to my question. It was appreciated.

[@TheRelen222]

Erin Pizzey had this figured out in the 1970s for crying out loud. Sixty percent of dv is caused by men, forty percent by women. That’s nearly half. Additionally, most dv is a two way street-with these same households being mutually abusive. She was silenced and ran out of her own country, even though she is the primary one in opening up the first dv shelters ever.

[@jokhard8137]

Unpopular opinion: Socializing blame only benefits abusers, men and women alike. That man's a POS for beating his wife and he's not one of us. From my POV, they're helping a confirmed abuser evade personal responsibility and I think that's fucking sick.

[@anuragpradhan7500]

As a man, a simple rule keeps me sane. Expect the least out of people. The less you expect of people, the less disappointed you will be. Don't go about expecting that you will be helped when in trouble, sure give it, but don't expect it back. Don't expect kindness in return for kindness. I try to be my best, but I am under no illusion that I will be rewarded for it, in any way whatsoever. Of course there will be exceptions to this - for me its my family members. Bottom line is, keep defending yourself and be safe.

[@gumbilicious1]

I agree, this attitude is the attitude I always taught younger guys. Your only as valuable as what you can do, always expect disappointment, don’t ever expect anyone to care about you. If you need help expect to pay for it I have realized fairly recently that this is necessary advice, but it is also advice that poisons your view of the world in a way you can’t get back. I can’t take anything as sincere anymore. If anyone is nice to me the only thing I can think is”what do they want”. It’s a hell of a price to pay, and it is the downside of this mindset

[@anuragpradhan7500]

@@gumbilicious1 Yes man. It is hard to see the good in others, but the price of naivete is not something I want to pay

[@mnky75]

I used to treat everyone the same way I expect to be treated. After years of being crapped on after constantly helping out, I've come round to this way of thinking.

[@derwoodhamburger]

Awesome!

[@lilrabbitcuz]

100 percent! I learned the same. I don’t put stock into having a deep male relationship anymore bc of this. I’m willing to go the distance but others aren’t. I would rather stop doing this so others aren’t held to my high standards and I’m not annoyed. So I just have surface relations now with dudes. My blood brother is who I vent to

[@jamesdoyle2769]

Society can't face male vulnerability because it rides on male labor and male utility, so it's is terrifying to acknowledge that vulnerability.

[@unapologeticanti-feminist3205]

Male disposability is also a big factor because if someone needs to die or do a dangerous thing, society wants a man to do it.

[@petervizzini4006]

​@@unapologeticanti-feminist3205yeah but usually society tries to motivate the man now it seems as if society is encouraging men to mgtow

[@GreatQoutes-123]

@@petervizzini4006Interesting isn’t it? I do know one thing, no man in his right man is going to fight and die for a society that hates him. This society were living in, it isn’t sustainable.

[@blacky_Ninja]

Personally i‘ve never encountered that problem of men not being allowed to be vulnerable. But maybe northern germany is just more progressive in that way.

[@smokingcrab2290]

It's not terrifying to acknowledge it though. Because it's been proven that if someone is loved in spite of their weaknesses, they improve. Men have let the female idea of shaming their weaknesses be the norm.

[@jamesa9004]

It's harder for boys to just " figure it out" when it's also popular to kick the male role model out of the house and turn him into a court ordered tax-free cash account, or face prison. We won't see it improve in our lifetime.

[@r.walker7986]

If the role model was doing what he was supposed to do he would not be kicked out, lets stop acting like people breaking up is some conspiracy against men. And simply being a man and a father does not automatically make you a good role model or anyone that needs to be modeling anything to other little boys...

[@msnewsenior]

The reality is most men are not being kicked out of the house. The majority are either leaving or opting to not be involved in their children’s lives at all.

[@whenpigsfly8178]

@@r.walker7986 Conversely, let's also stop acting like there isn't negative messaging about masculinity in media, a distorted social media dating market inflating women's egos & biased laws that punish men unfairly relative to women.

[@r.walker7986]

@@msnewsenior exactly. Then the ones who behave in ways intentionally to make women leave them so they dont have to be the bad guy...

[@whenpigsfly8178]

@@r.walker7986 Doesn't sound like a plausible motivation.

[@Ruckus45]

I've worked in mental health/substance abuse treatment for about a decade. Ive absolutely lost my job for advocating for improvements to make to male treatment. The "go-girl" female leaders see that as an attack on them and want to do anything to eradicate it. It's a shame, men are struggling but the leadership in the behavioral health industry is ignoring it

[@gorkyd7912]

The leadership in all health industries is failing. AAP is the last place to look for health advice for children, for example.

[@thesmartestmanintheworld2653]

Narcissists perceiving anything less than total subserviance as a personal attack? I'm shocked!

[@kokocaptainqc]

all part of the plan to destroy the west.....its crystal clear to me

[@xaviermagnus8310]

Empowering it. It's profitable to the system.

[@tedlogan4867]

Chris nailed it: zero sum ideology; Marxist ideology. That sits at the bottom of all these issues. Zero sum ideology drives the current feminism that sees men as the competitor for the same resources, rather than complimentary partners that can pursue endeavors which may generate or invent means and vehicles for successful society.

[@TheUnique69able]

The feminists are right though. Once men wake up and realize their value, the power dynamic between men and women will shift to men’s side.

[@torch_fire9218]

To feminists, this is a war, and there can only be one winner.

[@Doberman_6773]

If you had to distill classical Marxism down to a single statement, it might go something like this - "The power dynamics in liberal capitalist society necessarily means the bourgeois are the oppressors and the proletariat are the oppressed" Now, let's do the same for Feminism - "The power dynamics in patriarchal society necessarily means men are the oppressors and women are the oppressed" This explains why "The Patriarchy" is always mentioned by feminists; basically, it *HAS* to exist as a foundation upon which so much else rests. It also helps explain some of the reactions to discussion of men's issues; 'who cares about the problems of the oppressors?'

[@torch_fire9218]

@@Doberman_6773 It's not even a matter of "who cares cares about their problems", it's an active effort to ensure those problems ever come to light. Because heaven forbid the "oppressors" receive help and sympathy from the general public.

[@elcapitan6126]

ermm in the corporate world women ARE in direct zero sum competition with men. quotas. lack of accountability when things get tough. corporate feminism is a major driver of lower wages through increased labor supply to corporations.

[@joan3891]

I have 2 sons in their early 30s. Trust me, I have dialed into this plight through channels like yours and it has given me greater purpose shepherding young men whether they’re mine or at work. Men need strong peer groups for sure, and women who support healthy masculinity. Talk to the mums, we know exactly how important this is.

[@daishan1234]

Lots of mothers, specifically single mothers, are a large part of the problem, and refuse to face the fact that single motherhood almost never works out well for the children

[@LisaFenwick]

@@daishan1234 Why is it always "single mothers" and never "errant fathers"? It seems that accountability is kryptonite to men. Cynthia G, here on YT, has the solution to all of that.

[@user-og6hl6lv7p]

@@LisaFenwick Because women are overwhelmingly granted custody of children, while men are denied access. Why are men to blame when the law prevents them from raising their kids? Why are men to blame when divorces are overwhelmingly enacted by women?

[@ChickFenwick]

@@user-og6hl6lv7p False. Men usually don't ask for custody. When they do, they get it. Most custody cases are settled amicably out of court. Or the father just isn't around at all. Stop blaming women for men abandoning their children.

[@ms3inapod]

@joan3891 As a mother of three young men, ages 17 to 23, I whole heartedly, 100% agree with you.

[@Chiapanecogűero]

I got divorced after 10yrs and instead of crying I went to the gym and started bodybuilding. I lost 100ibs and feel good about myself. I've never felt better in my life till now.

[@MinifigNewsguy]

Great Mr. Roboto…what about your emotional perspective of women?

[@Chiapanecogűero]

@@MinifigNewsguy it's fine actually I can't hold a grudge against women at all. It is what it is. Life is too short to be pissed at the world.

[@r.walker7986]

That's called redirection. Redirection does not actually solve the issue. When you find yourself in another relationship them same old issues will be there, that's the plot hole/twist... Nothing wrong with working out but you still have to deal with what happened, you did not get divorced becasue you could not lift a car.

[@Chiapanecogűero]

@@r.walker7986 yeah you do have a point. That's why I admitted to my ex about my mistakes and faced my own issues. I'm not jumping into any relationship. Trust me I had a lot of alone time with my thoughts in the gym sweating it out. I can talk to someone about problems but if you don't actually do it then it means nothing.

[@r.walker7986]

@@Chiapanecogűero Men are human beings, traditional masculinity took a lot of that away from us and made us into caricatures instead of whole people. We have to reclaim our wholeness with real self love and total self care, that includes our minds and out emotions and demanding the right to have them. Working out is a form of meditation and therapy but we have to be careful not to stop there.

[@Anne_Onymous]

We need happy, healthy, masculine men for a functioning society. Those are our fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons. They should be supported and protected at all costs.

[@r.walker7986]

The problem is the tendency to write off toxic, maladapted, abusive, socially/mentally destructive behaviors and norms as "masculine"

[@sarahrobertson634]

At all costs? Like the cost of women and children's well being? When males win, women and children lose.

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@r.walker7986 Yess!!! Every time a man does something absolutely horrible, people just say boys will be boys, that's what masculinity is, excuses excuses.

[@Anne_Onymous]

@@sarahrobertson634 Damn some people will find anything to argue with I swear 😂

[@filthycasual9381]

@@sarahrobertson634 That statement is the perfect summation of zero/negative-sum, misandric ideology.

[@ethanwesthoff7444]

I used to be a vegan self-hating male liberal with a pink mullet. This New Year I began listening to the other side and heard only logical conclusions/solutions. The liberal view is that being born a male or white or even both means you don’t get to have any problems, you are the problem. I started hitting the gym, I got a normal haircut and hair color, I started eating steak again, and found a brotherhood. MEN NEED MALE FRIENDS. That is what almost every male that is struggling lacks. We need someone we can joke with without walking on eggshells, someone to push us to be better than we are, and someone we can open up to about things we don’t necessarily feel comfortable sharing.

[@mariahrossi3072]

I am so happy for you.

[@torch_fire9218]

Men having other male friends is indeed one of the best things we can do for eachother in the short term. It's so hard to find good avenues as the feminist movement has tried very hard to shut down all organized effort to create spaces for men. I think one great idea is we need to bring back the gentleman's club how it was originally envisioned, a place for men to gather and associate. They were often places of incredible class with books, lounges, cigar rooms, and tables for games of chess and cards readily available. With a few modern updates, such a place would be wonderful for modern men.

[@jbp122]

@@torch_fire9218that’s a good idea but there’s no legal way to keep such a space truly men only.

[@torch_fire9218]

@@jbp122 Somehow sororities exist still, and their right to have a women's only space is upheld.

[@zephyrr108]

Damn. Dude had the glow up!!!

[@thecontrarycontrarian4230]

The world needs a massive worldwide men's rights movement. Men need justice and protection from atrocities, abuse, and assault by women

[@Daniedott]

😂 understand that this inability to relate is how guys feel when women talk about their issues as well

[@mcmarkmarkson7115]

They don't even report male death in news. Only: X people have been killed, among them women, children and the elderly

[@imsometimesahaterlol]

@@Daniedottnot the place for that 😅

[@clv603]

@johnhammink2716 why waste time identifying individual narcissists after recognizing society promotes narcissistic behavior, unless you like playing the game of whack-a-mole lol

[@run_it_straight829]

Just walk away from women.

[@mtarlo215]

My grandfather had 11 children, he was a policeman, a teacher, a coach, a contractor and he fought in Korea. Like many men his age he didn’t open up about these things, he just did them. Starting maybe with my generation we seemed to believe that this was the cause of many of that generation’s imperfections. Only if they opened up, they could find comfort. I tried that, we have all been trying that for 30 years and its done nothing but ensure the necessity of a certain class of people. That masculinity is the ability in life to get on without needing anything from them. This is what they fear, people who don’t give a damn about their theories and who don’t need their help.

[@r.walker7986]

Those are the kinds of men they snap and murder their whole families, people should be afraid of them... Bottom line people are no longer just paring off and procreating like robots and cogs in a wheel, people want a deeper connection and meaning to their relationships, especially women who suffered back in the day and often died completely unfulfilled and alone. If you cannot have true intimacy that includes being able tom open and talk about why you feel the way you feel and connect with others on a deeper level, you will suffer becasue being the stoic authoritarian breadwinner, simple is not compatible with new age people who are in search of deeper connections.

[@CYellowan]

It was however also far more doable to earn a fair living off of those jobs back then. And it fed far more people than what it could do today. The difference is tragic.

[@-haclong2366]

I think that we shouldn't try to get a "one size fits all" solution, some men feel better by sharing their emotions, other men don't. But there are too many things against men and boys to solely blame emotional openness for things like male depression.

[@r.walker7986]

@@-haclong2366 you have to do what you have to do to get the results in life you want, whether it makes you feel better or not.

[@freedomandguns3231]

​@@BOSSDONMANbut it would be prudent not to treat his entire generation as if they all have PTSD because of that subset. Its also prudnt to drop this current day attitud of therapy can solve everything. Therapy is shit.

[@inelhuayocan_aci]

When victimhood is your currency, your mind filled with the doctrine of self-care, and your heart with avarice, giving care to the suffering of others feels like charity that's purely optional yet undesirable.

[@azraelfirstofhisname8695]

Well said

[@51L3NTF1R3]

yes . well said - needs to be a meme and get it viral

[@cqllel5186]

I'm keeping this quote

[@secretagent4610]

Damn, we gotta regular Shopenhauer over here. 👏

[@gumbilicious1]

When I was a child I was completely at the mercy of my mothers decisions, she had been married 6 times and I had to set aside my childhood by age 10 wherein I became a major care taker of two of my siblings. It took me years to realize in my adult life I associated the chaos and hell of my young life with women and I had no desire to be in a serious relationship with a woman because of the heavy control exerted over me in my young life and the utter lack of consideration received from my mother Basically I associate instability and apathy with women, I have no idea how a woman benefits my life because that is not a scenario I ever encountered. I only know to to be a appliance that’s purpose is to benefit a woman’s life, and that was so miserable I have no desire to engage in that again. I would quite literally need to be taught how women are supposed to enhance my life, and good forbid to ever ask a woman what they offer a relationship or bring to the table, the answer to such questions reinforces heavily why I don’t want a relationship

[@CaramelCali]

Wow

[@x-mess]

As a woman… i see stories like this and it breaks my heart.. I’m truly sorry that you didn’t “really” have a mom, that your childhood was stolen and you’ve never been seen and been nurtured by a woman. I see it all around me… how men have had to become calloused in order to function or become feminists to get some semblance of attention. I don’t blame you… as a woman I cannot find women friends bc they’re hot messes… I rather focus on my husband and family.

[@tanya.24]

I hurts me so deeply how you're childhood was basically taken away from you. Everyone will have a different path, you don't need a woman to complete your life. Everyone lives life according to their own experiences, and yours has lead you to this conclusion. Your life may be much more peaceful and happy without a woman or relationship

[@gumbilicious1]

I am surprised I was this candid, and rereading this OP it sounds far more dire than I normally feel (though the OP is a facet of my feelings). usually i hide this aspect of myself because it seems repulsive to most people. in fact, i credit this outlook to my lack of success in trying to engage with women romantically. i feel this is an intangible attribute that people pick up on but can't put their finger on what it is that is unattractive. i think most women want experienced men that don't have such baggage, which is understandable. no one should have to justify their existence, and I feel I may be requiring just that of potential romantic partners. i also feel compelled to say that I do not look at women as 'horrible' because of my experience. i have established many meaningful and deep relationships with other women in my family, but I would be lying if I were to say I didn't still have many learned mechanisms in place guarding me with such relationships. we are all people, subject to The Human Condition, for all the good and bad that comes with that. it just so happens that the good and bad manifests itself differently amongst different groups, and I have to admit I bristle a bit when the narrative is commonly: "men do horrible things to women", but what i see people doing horrible things to people. that is not going to change until we all recognize how we all justify our horrible behavior

[@wateriswet02]

Your comment echos my exact scenario growing up and how I feel about women now and relationships. I just want peace and stability now and to me women bring nothing but chaos and instability into relationships.

[@americanhealthcaresurvivor]

We don't need more vulnerability, we need more truth and justice

[@nekemli2622]

No, we need more vulnerability but only when it's about women. Women should cry about their problems, while men should solve them.

[@torch_fire9218]

Support is a threat when you see the person supported as your enemy. The feminist movement is operating a war against men, and in war, you don't see your opposition supported, their plight sympathized with, or their pain showcased. You seek their destruction. That's why you get such backlash whenever you see someone talk about men's issues.

[@jrd33]

That's the extreme case. Most women don't hate men. But there is an obvious competition between men and women for jobs/power/resources.

[@brent4073]

And when actual war breaks out, its men who will be drafted and be forced to pick up guns. Look at Ukraine, women voted for social policies, when war broke out, the women fled to other countries with children and started dating other men while the ukrainian men were corralled and forced to fight for land that doesnt even have their families on it...

[@torch_fire9218]

@@jrd33 It is not extreme to say that all feminists do hate men, and most women have been influenced in some way by the misandrist culture they have have fostered.

[@Tushar_Talwar_09]

​@@jrd33" most women don't hate men" Doubt. If that was the case then feminism would be Fringe and not mainstream.

[@comentaristametaforico9287]

​@@jrd33"Most women don't hat men" He's talking about feminists.

[@ashade2877]

The fact that woman feel threatened when men are supported only shows why it's a waste of time to listen to them. How women react is all i need to see.

[@cassiuslives4807]

9:12 - the point you miss is that women are the majority of voters, and their empathy trumps any fiscal or political responsibility that the franchise of voting necessitates. Combined with their higher in-group preference- that's the coordinating function. As long as privilege is disconnected from responsibility the rift will widen.

[@davidmoore2308]

And all the white Knight and simps

[@magicalfrijoles6766]

Men, no one cares how you feel. Your value is equal to what you can provide.

[@kevincarballo6303]

both sad and liberating

[@ashfordj81]

@@kevincarballo6303It's not really sad - it's sobering. It keeps your frame on you and what you can do, even if what you can do is ask friends for help. The world owes no one a thing.

[@Justmonika6969]

​@@ashfordj81 Which means I don't owe the world anything either.

[@P03ticJustice]

Same for women

[@computersurgeon_]

​@@P03ticJusticetrans women you mean

[@MyTruth1771]

Never listen to anyone about manhood except older MEN who live the manly life you'd like to manifest.

[@51L3NTF1R3]

it hurts to continue watching these discussions knowing they’ll continue for another 40yrs without change because there’s more money to be made in writing books and discussing it than to actually have economic risk to one’s self by discussing the true and obvious simple reasons and humans involved behind this massive shift -- as Chris Rock said.. the money isn’t in the cure .. it’s in the medicine -- the medicine is a placebo though -- im happy we have these discussions and it’s out in the open but clearly … it’s a business 😔

[@Xarkom89]

Because it’s going to be up to individual men (AGAIN) to just notice the patterns and work on themselves. Find close friends with like minded knowledge. Self improvement is where it all starts. If you cannot control the external, start with what you can - the self.

[@Xplora213]

The conversations create awareness and understanding for the listener. It is mostly navel gazing but it also pushes many to action. That action is free.

[@filthycasual9381]

This definitely feeds into the male sense of isolation. There are horrific male human rights abuses occurring en mass that even the manosphere rarely talks about, like male child circumcision. This lack of open acknowledgment of abuses and rights violations creates a feeling of hopelessness and behaviors of learned helplessness. And what little acknowledgment there is... again, just a business.

[@Stoneballs315]

The effect this issue has on the society cant wait 40 years to be fixed population collapse cant take 3 generations to find the answer unless thats the goal and desired outcome

[@swiftskilly]

They’ll continue if you let it. Unapologetically have the conversations. Take action. You make a bigger impact than you believe.

[@BigPatFenis_]

My biggest fear is going my entire life, growing old and having no one take any interest in my life or what I've gone through. I've never had any of my past girlfriends ask me about my trauma or my family. I've never had friends who really cared about my story or my background. I'm 27 and to this day, I still haven't had that conversation where I just let it all out and tell someone why I am the way I am or why I feel the way I do because it will just come across as complaining and whining. I just want someone to listen and not just nod their head and say "I understand why you feel that way" I want someone to actually talk to me about it. I don't want to do therapy because why should I have to pay someone money to feel heard and listened to? I fear that I'm just going to go through life with everything bottled up and never get to explain myself and then just die alone one day in my house or apartment having never talked about anything and dying with all that pent up sadness. Meanwhile, when my sister is feeling bad she gets to come home from college, wrap up in a blanket and cry to my dad and step mom about how she didn't get invited to a college party and she gets coddled like a baby. I don't want to be coddled, I just want to be heard and everyone acts like I want to have my cake and eat it too. I just can't stand it.

[@mushylog]

Talking about problems, opening up is a feminine approach to the problem. Masculine people (aka men, generally) need to feel useful to feel better. They need to find actual solutions to a problem, to act on them. Therapy has mostly been fitting for feminine people, to open up, etc. Men, on the other hand, cannot always find help with these approaches. Men and women are very different.

[@acridyd]

I'm male and tried therapy a few years ago, and had a miserable time with it. I agree with you completely; I wanted to be told how I could fix my life and be useful, but that's not the intention of therapy (or so I discovered).

[@proudatheist2042]

I was placed in therapy to find solutions to problems stemming from t dysfunctional family that I didn't know existed. Women need solutions, too. However, not all problems will be fixed by going to the gym or serving others. Talking to an experienced professional with different experiences can provide different insight that people don't always have. Being useful has a downside when it leads to constant self sacrifice without the ability to say "no" or maintain boundaries.

[@proudatheist2042]

​​​@@acridydsorry about your bad experiences in therapy. I, and others, have received invaluable insight from skilled therapists with what was wrong in our lives and how to fix it.

[@NicholasBrakespear]

I'm not even convinced it's helpful to women to be honest. Generally speaking, nobody is more antagonistic towards women than other women; nobody is more likely to sabotage a woman than another woman. So this whole notion that women "opening up" to other women is helpful? May actually be more of an evolutionary adaptation revolving around female competition - intelligence gathering. In general, when you see women given a lot of time to talk about their problems and dwell on them... you don't see a lot of healing. What you see is a growing, ongoing dependence on validation. The actual way, historically, that women deal with problems? Is closer to how men deal with problems. Which is to say, they get on with life, because historically women were pretty damn busy, and didn't actually have a lot of time to be so self-indulgent.

[@stagthechainsawbeserker3926]

I am in therapy right now, I was forced to have women as therapists then finally I was offered a man he has improved my life I have so many problems generally I don't have choice most of the time I'm just venting and its like having a hype man other than that it is hard to have no support my father is busy and brother has moved out plus we never talked anyways so have my therapist and my trainer has improved my mental health I am now going to the gym and being less negative. But I am a unique problem and lucky so it is fair to say it doesn't work but not everybody has a problem as simple as working out, eating better or getting a new job or even moving to a new state.

[@brent4073]

I got divorced simply because I tried to help my ex wife get pregnant by getting off anti-depressants as she suggested it. Women leave if men f up even in the slightest bit, i can see why the self deletion rate is so high.. o and women never tell you why they leave when they do

[@curious164]

Or maybe she was just in the cohort of women that had underlying psychological issues, and don't represent women in general.

[@jlspracher]

@@curious164 hashtag not all women, right?

[@Tushar_Talwar_09]

Women leave because they win free cash and prizes when they do so. We should remove these outdated infantalizing law that expects a man to maintain a woman even after she leaves him.

[@BatmanBeyondBelief]

@@jlspracher😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@wadimek116]

​@@Tushar_Talwar_09Honestly this would solve so many problems as woman would have to respect their husband then

[@NobodyXSomebody]

"Modern therapy basically treats men like defective women" exactly!

[@darbyohara]

And that’s why it doesn’t work. Therapists will argue up and down they can help but they cannot answer the real questions men have. It’s a joke

[@PlaidHiker]

Talking and therapy is good to the extent only up to when it comes time for action. Therapy can help identify the problem, but it is up to you to fix it. Therapy can’t/ will not help from there on after. We can only live with the unacceptable for so long. There is no coping, only prolonging the pain of living into a dull brutal ache that will eventually kill you. For fuck sakes! Get up and fight! Nothing will get better if you don’t.

[@SubcideWebzine]

The “men need to learn you be more vulnerable” trope is a trap. Avoid at all costs. Work on yourself and leave the rest behind.

[@gnarwhal7562]

There's a Patience Xina video I saw recently ("Caring About Men Is Bad For Women, Apparently") where she reacts to a British comedian going onto a talk show to speak about his book, poking fun at the weird idiosyncrasies of men. What should have been a lighthearted conversation quickly devolved into a debate about how men need to support women's issues. The funny part is that this was all spurred on when he accurately pointed out how talking about men's issues is always immediately shut down by feminists (which incited that very reaction from two of the female co-hosts). I think that moment is very indicative of why men are so reluctant to bring up their plights to other people. It's simultaneously tragic and funny to me

[@jakesdekker7503]

I would love to see a list of attorneys who specialize in men’s interests, for USA and Canada. It’s time to fight back the blue pill attitudes in courts.

[@wesing22]

Add to that the possibility that the State profits (Federal Funding) through the child support collection system. And the system has become corrupt, judges are rewarded for high collections and money is the highest value

[@nalianalianalia]

Look for it in Google. There are plenty, some really famous.

[@robroy6072]

There is. They have been Relentlessly attacked as misogynist for 20 years

[@RustCole01]

Tosh.0 actually had a female lawyer on his show that does exactly what you described. She has specifically been pushing back on women who file for divorce and then immediately claim abuse or SA, without having any prior documentation or complaint of such behavior. She was pretty funny too. But there are women in the legal system who are not cool with these trends.

[@JJ-yn4cj]

Karen Decrow did this during the 2nd wave - argued that men shouldn't have to pay child support as long as women had a choice in raising a child. Sadly, it got appealed after the fact. Otherwise, men could have had reproductive rights.

[@PetrolJunkie]

The problem isn't that men are not talking about the problems. The problem is that no one is doing anything about the problems. 🤷

[@jrd33]

Not sure how you are going to figure out what the problems are without talking about them. It's not as though we all "just know" and agree what all the problems are.

[@PetrolJunkie]

@@jrd33 My personal life experience says that when the water rises everyone should grab a shovel and start building burms. You, as an individual, do not need to know how tall or how wide, you don't have to be an engineer or an architect. You just need a shovel. Let's put that into practical terms. There are a lot of well-educated people that do know what the problems are. There are plenty of people who know what the solutions are. We just need people to listen to what they have to say, process it, and realize what it means. Build a plan of action and get people started. The great thing is that once someone picks up a shovel others will grab one and start doing the same thing. They will heal along with everyone else and they don't have to know the specifics. You don't have to have all the answers. You just need to find a purpose and start working towards a goal. That is what men do, that is how we heal.

[@PetrolJunkie]

@@jrd33 The entire equality movement is based on the ideas of a hand full of people that managed to make key changes that rippled through society. What we need right now are a few key changes. A nudge back in the right direction and let the wave wash over the rest of society.

[@jrd33]

@@PetrolJunkie "There are a lot of well-educated people that do know what the problems are. There are plenty of people who know what the solutions are." -- And the way these people communicate their solutions to others is by talking and persuading people that these are the best solutions. Because we don't all agree. Let's take a simple example. There is a widespread belief that male aggression (especially towards women) is a problem. Solutions might include: - Teach men to channel their aggression into productive endeavours - Police men's behaviour and punish them severely for their aggression to deter other men - Responsible men keep other men in check if they become too aggressive - Teach boys that aggression is bad and try and stop them becoming aggressive men - Segregate men and women so women don't suffer the effects of male aggression - Arm women or make them tougher so they are less vulnerable to men - Add chemicals to the water supply to suppress aggression in men - Any number of other ideas I haven't thought of.

[@BatmanBeyondBelief]

@@jrd33you dont have to agree because youre not the smart one. Youre the one who picks up a shovel. The point is your opinion doesnt matter. Most peoples opinions dont matter because they dont know anything just like you dont know anything about this.

[@billbadson7598]

The only benefit to “being vulnerable” is to the creature predating on you.

[@nekemli2622]

It also gets you more empathy, people hold you less accountable, you don't have to have as much responsibility, you get many privileges. All things that apply to women. Sounds pretty fair to me.

[@mtarlo215]

“In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.” -C.S. Lewis The Abolition of Men If you haven’t read this small book, Please do

[@gordonredwood3909]

Absolutely.

[@mtarlo215]

@@parrotshootist3004 Bax was well before Lewis. The Abolition of Man is from 1943.

[@51L3NTF1R3]

they won’t use these examples because they’re simple and make sense - they’ll use only quotes that while similar also refrain from direct confrontation so the business continues on and on instead of solidifying the talk into having to move in a direction of change and accountability at all angles -- in this wa* of elites and their minions against the supposed unwashed masses, nobody wants to pull the first trigg** because capitalism, profit and the comfortable yet chains like status quo

[@patnor7354]

Some men saw what was coming in this as with everything. But most men care about nothing beyond sportsball.

[@precisecalibre6986]

People claim they want a guy who is emotionally open, seemingly saying they want a guy who will cry when he's sad or express grief, what they actually want is a masculine cowboy that they can imagine shedding a single tear while out on the range, but definitely not in front of them, heavens no. Either that or they just want to gain access to your weakness so they can leverage it against you.

[@gorkyd7912]

There's some miscommunication going on. Women don't want men to be emotional. Being aware of and honest about your emotions is different than being actually emotional and it makes women feel empowered because the social construction realm is their strength.

[@courtneyharris1006]

We've conditioned disenfranchisement to be a core aspect of female identity and they feel an exclusivity towards it. Since they were young they were taught they are victims and men are the emotionless tanks who must align themselves with being tools to solve their problems then all would be right in the world. But if the tools are broken and in need of assistance/repair the fantasy dissolves and they don't know how to handle it.

[@morganisuzu3778]

Why are women the ones assigned to ‘handle it’? Are they licensed therapists?

[@courtneyharris1006]

@@morganisuzu3778You missunderstood what i meant by "handle it". The context was to cope or function with, not to "Solve". But even if i did mean it that way you dont have to be a therapist to empathize and lighten up on people. We already know how to do this with groups we are conditioned to extended compassion towards. Wouldn't take much.

[@yung829]

​@@morganisuzu3778lol you can't read 😂

[@yung829]

So True bro. Nobody talks about modern women's lack of empathy while wanting ALL OF IT.

[@courtneyharris1006]

@@yung829Compassion gap, Romance gap. Its crazy. Men get down on one knee willing to financially cripple themselves or risk their lives for women. Where do you see that same level of dutiful love/devotion from women? A mans love is "I will die for you" a womens love is "i will let you" its like the titanic. A man has no problem providing or being majority provider to a women for the rest of her life while a woman would grow resentful and leave shortly in that same position. Despite popular belief i think men are the true romantics and compassionates, gaslit to feel emotionally inept in comparison to women.

[@whisperienced]

It is so true. Any time I point out something like google not doing a doodle art for international men's day but doing one for boba tea my sister will respond with "good". As if celebrating men in any way is an attack on women.

[@gorkyd7912]

Failure of education. Or maybe, success of an education meant to encourage isolationist hatred.

[@oldrusty6527]

Ask her if she sees it that way.

[@TagusMan]

Women in Iceland just went on a one day strike because Iceland is so terrible to women, despite voting in a female PM. What if men did the same thing? Not just for a day, but for a whole week? That's a movie I'd like to see.

[@divisadero8859]

Wasnt it on false claim of wage gap again?

[@tachyon8317]

Was it noticeable? Like, did any aspects of life suffer? I'm asking because I imagine it didn't, unlike if us guys had a "day off"

[@tbobtbob330]

Men achieve status by bettering themselves in order to outcompete their rivals. Women achieve status by tearing down and destroying their rivals through emotional manipulation. Which do you think would be constructive for society, and which is destructive? How might this relate to the "weak men make hard times" saying?

[@sharonberry410]

Any self respecting women I don't do this. You are buying into MRA tropes.

[@johnnonamegibbon3580]

@@sharonberry410 Women and men definitely compete differently. Some women are more moral some women are less moral about it.

[@ladybug3380]

Matriarchal societies were not destructive.

[@manniking233]

​@@ladybug3380. They weren't constructive, either. They were highly stagnant, favouring safety and simplicity over progress and complexity, the type of complexity that gave us the pyramids. Thus, we'd still be living in huts and fighting off predator lions with spears if matriarchy had persisted. Harsh facts but that's just the truth.

[@johnnonamegibbon3580]

@@manniking233 Bruh, I don't even think true matriarchy can or has ever existed.

[@f687sNFM]

There is a saying that goes "when you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression"

[@Gray-time]

Exactly. Women have had a monopoly on gender equality and the issues that are talked about therein so when men start bringing their issues into the conversation, it feels like oppression to them!

[@Kiryu]

Men there are 7 golden rules in life, but for now follow theses.. 2. Go where you are appreciated don’t remain where you aren’t even tolerated. 3. Don’t fight in any war in which you have nothing to gain. 4. Acknowledge your success no matter how small and learn from every failure no matter how great.

[@sofamiller7133]

My brother checked out a long time ago. I was resistant, having really wanted kids my whole life. But then my libido dropped a couple years ago. I never realized what a huge motivator biological impulse is, and without it, I find it really hard to find any motivation to have a conversation with a woman when she almost certainly shares less of my interests than the vast majority of men, who I also have no motivation to strike up a conversation with.

[@evilemperorzurg9615]

What really grinds my gears about the “boy crisis” is just how preventable it was. Most men are quite resilient to adversity and we have a predisposition to take care of women even at our own expense. All we want is to be appropriately appreciated and respected for it. Imagine this, a man who has been married to his loving wife for 10 years and they have a couple kids watches a red pill video randomly suggested by the algorithm. The video talks about how women lie, cheat, and steal for their own advantage and that marriage is a bad deal for men. After watching this video the man goes to his son’s soccer game, they have a nice family family diner, and then when the kids are asleep he and his wife have some fun time. That man is not going down the red pill rabbit hole because his life experience is completely different from the video. Most young men don’t have that in their lives. Many are lonely and have never had a relationship before. Those who have suffer extreme consequences like being cheated on, brutally dumped, or divorced and forced to pay child support and alimony. I have no sympathy for women who “can’t find a good man”. Because they are not looking. They lack even basic self reflection to realize that no “good man” wants a a drug addicted, debt ridden, prostitute.

[@ghost_illmatic]

Redpill has been the best thing for my mental health. Long live kevin samuels

[@azraelfirstofhisname8695]

🔥😎🔥

[@ChickFenwick]

Kevin expired by himself, with nobody else around but an overweight sex worker. He had one extranged daughter. Never married the mother. His daughter didn't like him, and hadn't spoken to him in years. What a success.

[@RandomGuyyy]

@@ChickFenwick A man of principle, he couldn't live a lie. He stuck to his guns and compromised for no-one.

[@azraelfirstofhisname8695]

@@ChickFenwick That’s actually cap he was married to his daughters mother but whatever helps you sleep at night cope harder

[@msnewsenior]

@@azraelfirstofhisname8695He owed back child support and was a deadbeat dad

[@nw-by-n]

I made the mistake of working in the public sector. Women are inserted into every supervisory role, and they block my path to becoming a success and the kind of family leader I admired and aspired to as a kid in the 1980s.

[@sneezyfido]

There is another side to this. In a situation where women get promotions for existing but men need to fight hard to be recognized, the few male leaders dominate their weaker female "equals". Use this extra pressure as your crucible. Learn to excel and be more effective at their own trade. They temper us into being stronger.

[@untouchableghost6757]

I work in the chef game (head chef) and I love the fact women can’t do my job and if they do they aren’t very good at it!! 🤣 keeps me in a job and away from women

[@darnellfelix8114]

@@untouchableghost6757 theres plenty of female head chefs though, even world renown ones who are on par with the best male chefs.

[@darnellfelix8114]

@@sneezyfido Theres another side to this too where sometimes girls are denied promotions etc and have to fight hard to be recognized but men get this stuff because they are seen as inherently better etc. Eg. In japan there was a scandal at a university where they found that there was a conspiracy where women were being given low grades and not being allowed to pass on to further study medicine because the perpetrators were worried that they would leave the workforce if they got kids.

[@sneezyfido]

@@darnellfelix8114 obviously that's bad behaviour. Such a thing happening in Japan has no bearing on western sexism, though. As an argument that's a classic whataboutism.

[@primachpepe8597]

they all say, open up, talk about your problems. Have you ever done that, with a woman? 90% of the time, they see less of you. They will use it against you. Why would you bother, when it is met with hostility and denegration. YET when a woman does it, its stunning and brave. its easier to just be alone.

[@minnesotajude8447]

I took a female life coach’s narcissistic abuse recovery course, and it made my life worse. It was mostly divorced women complaining about men. I didn’t understand red pill at the time.

[@ST-Vidz]

I know what you are talking about. Its a toxic cess pit who call men toxic.

[@julianstone1192]

Showing men kindness and empathy is the best way to effect change, it was meeting good kind women who got me to be genuinely concerned more about women’s issues

[@Brookspirit]

Government won't do anything because society isn't willing to show it cares.

[@williambontrager2349]

Essentially it's bc society is currently "fixing women's oppression" and once that is done then we can address "the oppressors issues" bc doing both just waters down the real issue of women being oppressed. The issue is women view permanently pairing with men as the oppression. Women seem to want the elimination of consequences.

[@Justmonika6969]

That's such bullshit too because you totally can work on fixing oppression of multiple groups simultaneously.

[@KrimsonStorm]

So their world view is fucked up. Got it.

[@williambontrager2349]

@@KrimsonStorm kinda. More they don't want reality to be... reality. I get that. Reality sucks sometimes. But living in reality without knowing reality sucks alot more.

[@KrimsonStorm]

@@williambontrager2349 oh I get that. My ex kept asking me if life in school and college is the same as the real world (because she was getting a PhD while I just got a bachelor's) and she got so upset when I told her no, the real world is not ideal and not fully of fairytale lives.

[@BatmanBeyondBelief]

That’s why so many of them are on head meds. They can’t cope with the fall off from disney princess, to title ix, to discriminatory hiring practices, to the wall.

[@living.is_hard.]

This agenda hasn't been solved, not even close. I guess that's why "Fight Club" is still the classic.

[@LordHollow]

Many women feel anything that excludes them is a threat.

[@dnbjedi]

I checked out because my mom only showed negative emotional support my entire life. I don’t know who my ‘father’ is, she says she doesn’t know. She never hugged me. She never told me she believed in me. She never said she would always care about me. She said the opposite constantly. I began to resent her and resent most women for being so lacking in empathy. I developed panic disorder and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it…. Talking to a therapist is worthless once you leave their office. It’s just words. It’s not support. If men don’t get unconditional emotional support at a young age , or from their mom, they won’t Ever get it. No girl will ever love you like that, which means you develop resentment towards women in general because every relationship ends (or never begins) because you are looking for love and not just sex and companionship. Without your proper mom and dad you won’t be a healthy guy…. We just start like a lap behind. In this new age where masculinity isn’t ‘needed’ except to woo women, and pull yourself up, we’re beginning to basically resent masculinity.

[@krisangel7080]

My advice is to move to the country. Start slowly reading stories of the Bible. The best books are the banned ones. Book of Enoch. Stay away from women. Find some country boys. My mom still hates it when I smile or laugh. Now that I'm alone, I do it all the time. And housing is cheap in the woods. Make it work and watch your 6.

[@markus717]

Life's not fair & nobody should get the hand you were dealt. But it is what it is. Good News: there is a way forward: "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. Her childhood was totally fxxxed and she developed these techniques to rewrite our own programming. see hayhouse publishers for book and audiobook.

[@whiteknight5100]

I was raised primarily by a man and would love to show you, somehow, what I learned from him as an example. Now I do love women, but my mother for example was never fit to be a parent because of her toxic choices mostly revolving around trying to make and keep a family with an abusive man and actually PROTECTING him when the shit hit the fan. She basically showed me how apathetic, stupid, and unstable that women CAN BE. I got rid of her years ago from my life. However, I do still seek women for empathy, love, affection and general softness and when I do find women who have these qualities, I put forth every bit of masculinity toward loving and protecting them. When you observe what women CAN be, it's truly a beautiful thing. But never does your masculinity have to be suppressed or ignored to see that. In fact, when you lose touch with your masculine roots, I don't think it's possible to treat women with respect and love some of them the way they need and deserve.

[@BatmanBeyondBelief]

Yea my mom always said she never wanted kids and she wished she wasnt alive anymore. I can remember this when i was in grade school.

[@kaiserpuppydog7174]

I can relate. I remember as a little fella being in a happy state of mind and sitting down next to my mother. She started pointing out flaws, like I had one fingernail a little smaller than it should be, the little blemish on my arm, etc. It was done with such loathing for me that I believe it was the last time I tried to be close to her. Was confusing to hear that women were so much more caring and empathetic than men.

[@RPMentorTokyoChannel]

This has been referred to as "precarious masculinity" wherein masculinity is defined in a manner that benefits, or is perceived to benefit, another group (i.e., women). It may behoove men to become more pragmatic in ignoring this and doing what benefits themselves as women are doing. Of course, some men are already there (e.g., men going their own way).

[@billbadson7598]

Depends what you mean by “going their own way.” Checking out and succumbing to a slow genetic suicide is not a benefit to any man, in my view.

[@RPMentorTokyoChannel]

@@billbadson7598 This is the interesting part: Men, even when considering the power of the s*x drive, for a plethora of reasons (e.g., marriage laws, women's behavior, etc.) are electing to abstain from these dynamics. Of course, there will be those men who involuntarily end up in the same boat, but many men would love to pursue a long-term relationship; however, they're taking more of a self-preservation route, and so they are not looking to reproduction as a form of success given the conditions of contemporary society.

[@donventura2116]

​@@RPMentorTokyoChannelself-preservation at the cost of ending ancestral bloodlines and allowing a society and nation to further decline. Seems too selfish imo. If we want change we have to be the change. Find a good woman and start a family or at the very least adopt and raise another man or woman to be better than the generation that has made men feel the need to withdraw.

[@RPMentorTokyoChannel]

@@donventura2116 They don't care about this.

[@billbadson7598]

@@RPMentorTokyoChannel _"however, they're taking more of a self-preservation route, and so they are not looking to reproduction as a form of success"_ I do get that, but I just feel like, every single one of them will be dead and gone in less than a century, and what have they preserved? Not themselves, they'll be dead. We all will be, of course, but when looking further out into the future, only those who leave some kind of legacy will have preserved anything. And those who leave a non-genetic legacy will only have preserved something if there are others who leave a genetic legacy to experience it.

[@chadr4013]

Supporting men takes attention away from women, can’t have that in the “ look at me, look at me” female culture we currently live in.

[@davidbooher5559]

Was really hoping this would go longer than 12:43, because it was brilliant! Well done the both of you. Nailed it for sure! 🎯

[@mikeparrott8304]

​@@gregvanpaassen Listen to the full version then.

[@klimtkiller]

I like how chris said he hates it when people say "that's gynocentrism at work" then changes his mind and realises they're right lol.

[@THE_CROISSANT_EVERONE_WANTS]

the problem is that from a very young age we are taught that gender discrimination means discrimination against women, sexism means stereotypes against women. Gender inequality is always about men being more privileged and women being oppressed. And people find it hard to believe that all of these affect men as well

[@darnellfelix8114]

IDK where youre from but thats not whats taught where i live, its just that where i live cases against women are the most common examples. Eg. its not uncommon to hear a about women being killed because they rejected a man or broke up/divorced with them and Its common to hear and see husbands beating wives and demanding submission and that they be the ones in charge of the household.

[@xaviermagnus8310]

That was a US Supreme Court decision made way back with the 70s wave feminism. They decided men were a majority and businesses wouldn't discriminate against them (hint men were always the minority).

[@xaviermagnus8310]

​@darnellfelix8114 The system only makes money imprisoning men. Worse women are less likely to be convicted, will serve less time for the same crime making them less attractive to prosecutors who need those numbers.

[@darnellfelix8114]

@@xaviermagnus8310 not really. It makes money when anyone is incarcerated not specifically men. Men do end up in jail and serve longer sentences but similar to how the gender Pay gap is debunked when looking at what men and women do and chose. In this case, the crimes done etc are more severe eg. Men account for up to 75% of violent criminality in the US. another example, 56% of women are in federal prison for drug offenses and ended up there despite usually playing lesser roles in the crime than men because in drug cases involving multiple people, each defendant bears the full weight of the consequence for the drugs involved.

[@xaviermagnus8310]

@darnellfelix8114 It makes vastly more money off of men in every regard. And women use passive methods to achieve the same outcomes.

[@Retired-jr3qs]

The average woman in the USA is 5 feet 3 and 170 pounds. Fellas get in shape and don't settle for an average woman.

[@ChickFenwick]

“Almost 1 in 5 adults (18.8% of men and 19.3% of women) were obese.” Across the board, the bar has never been lower for men. If you’re a man who can’t be “above average” in today’s world, then wow you’re really failing.

[@AliBhai-sl8gc]

You think getting in shape is enough to get an attractive partner in the current dating market

[@ChickFenwick]

That was 1997. From 2018: “Among men, the prevalence of obesity was 40.3% among those aged 20-39, 46.4% among those aged 40-59, and 42.2% among those aged 60 and over. Among women, the prevalence of obesity was 39.7% among those aged 20-39, 43.3% among those aged 40-59, and 43.3% among those aged 60 and over. None of the differences by age were significant.” -CDC

[@fartloudYT]

@@AliBhai-sl8gc it is certainly better than getting out of shape. also it is not so much about 'getting in shape', but getting things done, being healthy make you feel better as well. then even if you are not finding a partner, you can enjoy life better. there are no guarantees either way, but being unable to move and just rotting at home makes your chances 0%.

[@AliBhai-sl8gc]

@cancermanxfiles OK I can respect that take on it...

[@mongrelthesnowchimp7676]

I don't understand the idea that men can't open up to other men... I was raised that when I have an issue to go to the older men and seek advice... and the men I know usually talk about their issues with other blokes.

[@seancollins8215]

I was in school in the UK in the 90s when grading formats were moved away from being examination based to course work based because girls were not performing well in exams. Now we see boys don't perform as well when results are course work based, and no one is talking about changing grading formats to better suite boys.

[@jhb1493]

New forms of technology and communications are waking more and more men up, earlier on in life. For most people, life comes prepackaged - do this, think this, act this way, have these goals. Marriage, kids, a mortgage, a stable job. That is going to fall apart because it's not enough for anyone - but by the time it does fall apart, the machine no longer cares. You did the job it cares about - producing the next generation. "You" don't matter to it - that's where mid-life crises tend to arise. So, under the old model, you never heard about how it all falls apart until it falls apart on YOU. Now young men are seeing how unfair the system can be, how it is rigged against men, and how toxic some women can be. There is example after example on social media where any 19 or 20 year old who sees them is going to think twice before he just jumps in and commits. The Feminist movement was largely the result of a new technology - the pill. Perhaps other new technology is creating a similar update for Men - and it's high time.

[@51L3NTF1R3]

it was designed this way as a cowards form of population control - elites may now take jiu jitsu and fire arms training while uparmoring their super suvs and hiring small paramilitary forces as “security”.. but they’re still too scared to just come out and say they think they’ve evolved beyond the rest of “us” (they call themselves “world citizens” now lmao) and they’re too scared to admit they don’t want to rule over billions anymore and they want that number to be horrifyingly far far far less .. and this is what they’ve come up with 😔🫠

[@phoenix5054]

I really have no loyalty to the concept of masculinity. It means it's my job to carry the weight of the world and serve the interests of women and society. Meh.

[@mattwisher6899]

Nah, that’s not masculinity. Men define masculinity. Men carry a world that is worthy of their work. If it isn’t worthy then that world decays, and its decay is righteous.

[@jennmello8829]

Thank you for saying that. I find your view rare. I’ve been saying for years I find it terribly disrespectful to equate a man solely to his wallet as though it’s his entire worth. I don’t care about a man’s money. I care if he’s responsible with his money, but that’s where it ends. What I care about is his heart, mind, soul, kindness, sense of humor…in other words HIM. That’s all a man ever needs to “be.” Himself.

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

Dude you just figured out what Mgtow has been preaching for years especially guys like barbarossa. The difference is that Masculinity is meant to just be a description of behavioral trait that defer from the female average. What we men deal with is precsriptive masculinity which is just about tying men's sense of male identity to their own exploitation by women, society, marriage, war etc. I'll end this with a paraphrase of Barbarossa's legendary quote "what do things like honor and chivalry even mean? These words have no fixed definition because they are meant to act as behavioral modifiers designed to reign in male self interest, so that men put up with the bullshit women never have to deal with." End quote please do check out his work best content on male identity I've ever seen.

[@Alexpbs1998]

@@wingsoffreedom3589most men find emotional fulfillment in those values and find it to be appalling,also good women cherish their men for doing things for them,and the concept of traditional masculinity is based on noble competence and sense of responsibility towards those who are precious to you;you guys are being miserably hopeless.

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

@@Alexpbs1998 and their need for that fullfillment drives their depression they have inherently gynocentric male Identities. It's just a more complex version of the macho guy that feels imasculated when a girl does something better than him. Which happens cause he ties his masculine identy and self worth to being a utility. He is a slave too it and therefore a slave to any agenda that society ties being a man too. The reason the white feather campaign worked in WW1 was precisely because those boys feared being seen as cowards more than they valued their lives and then went to die in the 10s of thousands. All rhetoric that starts with "a real man would X." Is a form of male exploitation and immoral. Society has always groomed men to be insecure in order to exploit that for whatever agenda is most pressing. I'm not creating depression I'm uprooting the source of it. Every man and boy must realize that Masculinity is meant to be a description not a prescription we are slaves to. Focus on being a good person and an independent adult let your gendered behaviour flow in a morally acceptable fashion and you will find "the real man" along the way.

[@federicopettinicchio]

It's simple really. The idea that men have problems is seen as a threat to the idea that men are the problem. The two ideas are largely like oil and water, they don't mix. The issue is that the group of people who thinks men are the problem is already vocal, socially supported and coordinated while the one that thinks men have problems is scattered, isolated and socially compromised. The issue is compounded by the fact that we value women intrinsically, so if they have problems that doesn't decrease their value which allows them to put them forth with equal status to women who don't. On the other hand men have value based on what they bring to the table, if you have problems that means you will clearly have less value than the guy who doesn't have those problems so when you put them forth you will do so as a lesser. Let me give you an example: You have a business woman and a female cashier. On the other hand you have a business man and a male cashier. Which ones are "losers"? If you thought the male cashier and that's about it, you are not in the minority. If you thought, none of the above or that's not how you measure the value of people you are simply failing to perform the imagination exercise. Imagine yourself at a party asking these 4 people what they do for a living, when the woman said she's a cashier you went (oh, okay), when the man said he's a cashier you've had a very specific unsettling feeling. That's it, you don't need more to create bias. You don't have to rationally think less of them, or actively think of them as loser. You just need to have two different feelings, and we do. It's that simple, I am a man very aware of men problems and even I am faced with this bias. I of course don't value them less as a person but let's be real I can feel the different status they have. This is further compounded by the fact that status for women doesn't impact their mating chances while it does impact the mating chances of males and anything that impacts your mating chances is instinctively viewed as a lack on your part, even if you can do nothing about it. It's not surprising to me that male issues aren't fancy though mainly due to the last point. Women need to see themselves as good, unlike men who are okay with vilification to an extent, women aren't and if they acknowledge men's problems as not their faults a subset of them then will no longer get to feel entitled to men who don't have them, it forces some of them into lowering their standards, I know it makes no goddamn sense because it doesn't but there's a link there and it's real. Some women feel it as a threat on their future partner quality, although that makes no sense whatsoever.

[@tommyotaku]

Straight up facts

[@SmarkAngel]

I regularly talk about men's issues with coworkers because I'm passionate about them. Women will often chime in about "okay but women have it THIS bad" and when I tell them that's fine but no one is talking about them right now, they seem absolutely stunned at the idea. Like the idea men can talk about how difficult being a man is without involving women is totally foreign to them. I'm not even saying women don't have a struggle, I just don't want to always have to talk about them!

[@CSAcrazy]

Every time I was vulnerable and opened up to a woman she dumped me and got with another guy. Do not be vulnerable as a man, be tough and strengthen yourself so much nothing from outside can hurt you

[@Michaah]

or they had an unhealthy view of what constitutes masculinity?

[@joress]

So that’s the conclusion you came across? Not “Well maybe she’s just selfish and doesn’t want to hear about anybody else’s problems other than hers. I dodged a bullet and I can do better”?

[@CSAcrazy]

@@joress this has happened with 4-5 women, my sister does it to all her boyfriends that act the same way. I’ve had multiple friends that the same thing has happened to. So you mean to tell me that 15-20 women that I know of all do this. But when you don’t show emotion and vulnerability the other women stay until you end it and I shouldn’t have come to that conclusion? You must be a woman

[@sharonberry410]

Concentrate on being the best human being you can be. And men need to build their own men's shelters and train male counselors. Don't expect women to do it for you.

[@Alexpbs1998]

The truth is even if you do it you’ll be labeled as an incel cult leader who promotes misogyny🤦🏻

[@AndrewSF8898]

@@Alexpbs1998 For reference, check people like Earl Silverman

[@AppleJacksCereal]

⁠@@Alexpbs1998lol and it’s about hurting masculinity not just males. There was a woman a while ago who tried to build a male DV Center and she was denigrated for it.

[@AppleJacksCereal]

The problem is funding. It’s not as if women built all their centers up and trained counselors by themselves. They were literally propped up by government to do so. Men don’t have that luxury and are expected to do the same things with the same lack of resources, time, and energy.

[@gorkyd7912]

Women need shelters and counselors. Men have different needs than women. Specifically, men need women that won't destroy their lives. Giving a man a shelter and a counselor isn't going to fix the fact that his life is destroyed.

[@garysuarez9614]

Basic bully narcissist trait: paint someone else as a caricature of vileness to distract from your obvious flaws or percieved shortcomings. I have undergone this personally for years. It is a miserable situation.

[@Adam-ui3yn]

Some of the reasons I believe women are so discontent with men are the following 1. Social media artificially inflating a women's worth. The amount of attention a half decent looking girl gets now on social media can easily surpass that of the hottest girl in your college 20 year ago. So the unrealistic standards for the opposite sex goes both ways, and the average man now feels below their standards. 2. Economic success of women is excellent for empowering women, at the cost of lowering men's sense of purpose and mating value. Men are still hardwired to want to provide and women still hardwired to want a man that can provide for her. This is why women typically date men who make more than them, and why marriages where men earn more last longer. When his financial capacities are superseded he feels disempowered and his dating pool shrinks. Imagine working at a plant and the new automation is able to do 50% of our job. 3. Economic hardship delays a mans ability to go out and become independent. It would be rare to meet a 20 year old man that would choose living at home being dependent on his parents and subject to their rules over having his own place, his own car and the freedom to make his own choices. 4. The shifting perspective on masculinity along with environmental factors are feminizing men. Maybe women really do believe they want a sensitive emotionally expressive man, but at the end of the day the same woman saying this will have an unexplainable attraction to the tall, muscular, dominating and kind of douchy football player. This friend I had suggested it's much better to be best friends with a woman before dating her which I strongly disagreed with. I asked her how many of all her 4 ex boyfriend was she friends with before dating, before she realized my point and admitted none of them. 5. There is a lack of understanding and a harsh judgements about the things that resonate with men as mentioned at 9:55. Your judging men based on female values, have you ever stopped to consider the utility in a man that can suppress his emotions to fight in a war, protect your family, or make it through times of suffering without breaking down and crying at the first step ? If a woman is a pregnant and going through hormonal changes, do you prefer to have a stable resilient man you can depend on when you're vulnerable, or do you want him to express how you hurt his feelings when your dealing with all the difficulties of pregnancy ? The emotional callous and "macho man" behaviors we demonize men for is an offering so you can be vulnerable and your femininity can flourish. That is the price to be paid if you desire a protector, a competent leader, and someone you can always lean on.

[@Dank69410]

As a young man I’m just happy I have to power of invisibility

[@ANTINATALIST_lewis]

Well same, more or less!

[@gerardo9052]

Give money to a man = he will form a family Give money to a woman = she deludes herself into believing she is a 10, waste all the money into vane garbage and will become a cat lady, alone, single and no kids

[@sharonberry410]

Pure projection. Men are terrified of dying alone. Not women and cats make much better companions than men.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

What's wrong with being single and no kids? You don't like cats?

[@gerardo9052]

@@wyleecoyotee4252 where does taxes come from? Theres the problem with childless cat women

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

@gerardo9052 What do taxes have to do with anything? Are you concerned there won't be a large enough tax base? Should people have kids they don't want and can't afford just to satisfy that alleged requirement?

[@gerardo9052]

@@wyleecoyotee4252 you dont understand what you are taking about If what you said was true, the poorest of the poorest would be the tax bracket with the least amount of children Yet is the other way around And also, women are the biggest group receiving government handouts and privileges payed by taxes, cause you know, government doesnt produce anything So, if the biggest collectors of tax benefits will not give anything in return the system will eventually collapse

[@fredmercury1314]

6:30 I'm ahead of the curve, I guess. 20 years ago I recognised that marriage was a losing situation for a man, and a decade ago I recognised that having kids was absolutely not worth it. Basically, I've abandoned the society that abandoned me. I don't want to be part of it, beyond enough to just survive and enjoy my free time. To hell with everything else.

[@ClayWeblogistics]

We need to be understood. All should universally avoid rage. Yet rage is where we are going. You do not want 3.5 Billion Raging males. Very disastrous. I watched a video clip where a male author was talking about male suicide in Britain. It was a 6+ minute long clip yet the man who wrote the book talked for about 30 seconds. The other 5 minutes and 30 seconds were taken up in women in the panel talking about men's failings. You really cannot make this 💩up!

[@daltonmann4916]

well rage is what they are going to get! because when it all goes south it will get violent really quick!

[@SandwichDoctorZ]

It's ironic because men opening up to some degree is what the redpill space is, where online there's some degree on anonymity, but feminists just use shaming language towards redpill, despite it being exactly what they ask for. Example: average man: "i'm feeling like a robot / wage slave, and disrespected by my wife who's supposed to love me. My mom seemed to be the only source of real love in my life, but she's gone, and i'm still a little depressed about it, and-" Feminist: "oh my gosh, women have it worse! Stop complaining, you sexist! Arent you supposed to provide? By the way, why don't you just be vulnerable?" Average man: "i... WAS being vulnerable...😔"

[@youtubeyoutube936]

Why is it that as soon as women enter a male sphere, men have to adapt to female sensibilities?

[@ChosenPlaysYT]

It’s not a coordinated thing, it’s as simple as the fact that we live in a capitalism society where women make the majority of household expenditure decisions and vastly outnumber men in the voting block. This means we’ll always see businesses and politicians pandering to women. Because you have to if you want to succeed. There isn’t really a “fix” to this.

[@patnor7354]

There is. Men are just to weak to turn to it. But at least the conquerors who inherit western civilization will have more balls.

[@ftlfrog8738]

Men could always get rid of democracy and capitalism. You seem to forget that women only have power because men let them have it.

[@Hassan-GnB]

I recently read a GQ article that discussed men’s group therapy, great topic. However, it was constantly framing their problems or lack from the view of their partners. Overall it said good things but it kept letting women define masculinity. Something I got from another youtuber, “Men define who men are”

[@swordsnorchids1997]

It's all of our fault as a society being dysfunctional especially because we've become so divided and seperated from one another... We need closeness and community but where can you really find that these days? Just wondering as a woman.

[@bolt-dbtfg]

On the radio yesterday they were playing "Sinitta - So Macho" because it's her 60th birthday. Came out in 1986. Celebrating masculinity. Listening to the lyrics, I was thinking how the world has changed. It would only be played now as a parody during drag queen story hour.

[@Hehedidntknow]

Same, all the support systems I used aim at you accepting your suffering rather than actually fixing the problem.

[@Srindal4657]

Back straight, head forward, chest up and out, but with a relaxed belly. Feet parallel to each other and hands behind back. Cleanliness next to godliness and exercise (doesnt matter what type of exercise just do something). And remember, its not about getting women, its about your own self image and your goals.

[@angelmarauder5647]

I disagree that men checking out is a concern. It's a solution. Hopefully it grows into a community of very assettive men willing to not put up with anything. If not, classic male aggression will pour through. I know I've been checked out and barely functional for a couple decades now and despite the suffering and depression, I have a core that is happy that I refuse to play the game that I know is wrong.

[@gnosis7188]

The apartment my parents bought 20 years ago was $130k, its now valued at over $625K. My parents are both blue collar working class people. I too am a blue collar worker, owning a home on my salary IS IMPOSSIBLE, even renting on my own in NYC making 58k annual is not feasible You need to earn at least 10k a month as a man if you want acess to women, and a decent apartment if you live in NYC. This is all being done by design. They are even talking about passing laws that will heavily tax you on inheritance, the World Economic Forums own motto is " You'll own nothing and be happy " Agenda 2030. The average american male has been priced out of the dating pool entirely. 100k is the new 50k. And 50k is poverty level nowadays.

[@azraelfirstofhisname8695]

According to the dating and men’s coach logic you should just make more money and alpha your way through it

[@gnosis7188]

@azraelfirstofhisname8695 im on the road to more money, im getting my work certificates in order for better opportunities. I dont want to earn more money for a womans validation, I am seeking financial stability and physical gains for the benefit of myself. Im no longer seeking out a partner. Why chase a butterfly when you can plant an abundant life garden, and once the roses bloom , have them come to you. That being said, I've known men personally who earn 10X what I do, and they still got cheated on. It's not all about money. It certainly won't keep them committed.

[@whenpigsfly8178]

Well, they want to eat the golden goose.

[@azraelfirstofhisname8695]

@@gnosis7188 I hear ya

[@ghost_illmatic]

@gnosis7188 salute keep up the good work bro. Fyi love the stillmatic avatar

[@gsmollin2]

About the zero-sum game angle: Women believe they have taken privileges and rights away from men, and in many ways they are not wrong. There are congress seats filled by women that used to be men. Women CEOs who used to be men. College scholarships that used to be merit based are now awarded to women. Any men’s-only place or organization is attacked because these are places where men historically conducted business and advanced men’s careers. While the world at large is not zero-sum, much of the power structure is, or is constrained as such. Women perceive this fact clearly, and see men as competition, not partners.

[@TK-en2hq]

The reason men can't be helped in the same way other demographics can be is because the help comes from them.

[@superdeluxesmell]

Well observed. Well put.

[@davidjuby7392]

because anything not focused on women is a threat to women

[@The_Scouts_Code]

I'm glad my parents stayed married and my dad raised my brother and me. He showed me how to be a man and now I'm not susceptible to the exogenously imposed deconstruction of what being a man means. I'll make sure to show my son the same!

[@dmitriyvasilyev6408]

Checking out is the best thing I ever have done for myself

[@martinwalker7202]

Only good men can raise good men. Good fathers need to be in the life of boys. Stay strong brothers!

[@SteveGoldberg-he5ur]

That's hard when you have a misandrist, feminist, or a wife that suddenly changes and decides "I'll divorce this man" and then you're left with no belongings, 35% *of your paycheck* or more to affording alimony, child support, etc. I'd recommend picking a woman from a different continent, preferably Asia. American women are mostly misandrists these days.

[@martinwalker7202]

@@SteveGoldberg-he5ur The fems don’t like that either. They want all ways! Stay strong brother. Best wishes always 👍

[@swordsimkid23]

It's unfortunate that as a young man I've found myself constantly wondering if and when I'll have to defend myself from a society that increasingly hates me. Im scared when dealing with others ensuring that I have something to back up what is say just to avoid being accused of something horrible that will ruin everything; my dreams, my hopes and aspirations, everything I've spent my life working towards even of life. I've had to deal with this from my family, especially my mother and sister and even beyond family I still have to deal with situations that never happened and with those there's nothing I can do. Aslong as it is my word against there's I'll always lose even when everything I do is recorded and presented it still isn't enough because there is a belief that things can happen beyond kept records. I'm not allowed a family of my own, I just have to hope that I can achieve something before I die. When that happens any legacy I leave will likely be trashed from undefended slander but atleast I can leave happy that I did what I could to ensure the happiness that I could never have is spread to as many people as possible. So long as my dreams are not destroyed before they can be reached..

[@MrWinstonSmithR101a]

Remember fellas. Don't get married. Don't have kids. It's not worth it. Globalmans case proved that.

[@seraph...4473]

That is assuming you cannot verify that a woman is worth permanently bonding with, or you are not capable of permanently bonding with a woman. If these things are achievable then it is certainly worth getting married and having kids. The question is how can you clear those prerequisites if you are a modern man? Because those are very difficult without a community support group (ie. a very large extended family, or a religous family).

[@IAmTheEggMan111]

@@seraph...4473dude 50% of marriages fail. I don’t care how good you are at screening your girl, those odds are impossible to overcome

[@BEYOND-EGO]

That’s the end goal

[@MrWinstonSmithR101a]

@@seraph...4473 Still not worth it.

[@ThatDudeDavid252]

Women wanna talk but they don’t want to listen

[@nunyabidness6820]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🚀 The rise of men's work and the manosphere online reflects a cultural shift in defining masculinity. 01:37 💬 Men face challenges in opening up due to societal expectations and lack of guidance on navigating vulnerability. 03:43 🔄 Empathy should not be a zero-sum game; recognizing men's challenges doesn't diminish understanding of women's issues. 05:50 🛠️ Society needs to address systemic issues impacting men instead of just expecting them to figure things out individually. 07:42 💔 Rethinking vulnerability and challenging traditional notions can benefit men and relationships, urging sincere conversations. 10:53 🔄 The conversation around men's problems often gets framed through a female-centric lens, neglecting the unique challenges men face. Made with HARPA AI

[@QoraxAudio]

To society, the only value of most men is to output work/production, like devices, that's why society doesn't accept men to be vulnerable. Devices don't have needs or emotions, they just do what they're supposed to do and if they don't they get discarded. This is where most of the problems come from.

[@martinvulu1848]

I was just thinking about this in another context. As a biracial person, I always grew up having to SEE both sides of the story & when I became a man, I had to accept that one side will only begrudgingly acknowledge the truths of the other. To continue to allow them sway in your philosophy on life when it comes at such a cost to your personal well being is stupid. The same is true of this dynamic. Men, MANY MANY men who did not have father figure in their childhood are now giving IMO women way too much sway in HIS defining of himself.

[@Captain_Insano_nomercy]

Well said my dude, it's of course easier said than done for men raised without a father, but surrogate fathers can be found, and it's crucial to being a man. It's something I only learned at around 27 but to let women define you will always lead to your ruin

[@magicmarcell]

This has been a big hiccup for me. Their conscious limitation that traps them in narcissism/solipsism/sociopathy is very unsettling. I dont know id ill ever be able to accept it despite my best efforts

[@martytracey6205]

Never open up to "the girl." Wife or otherwise. Any real or perceived vulnerability, can and will be used against you. Remember, women fight via reputation destruction.

[@LordZombieZanetta]

You make a great point, men need to be able to talk to other men. There needs to be a place where men can mentor other men, a way that us older men can connect with the younger men, that like I have no father and help to guide them into a better purpose. I for one would love to be a part of something where I could share my experiences and help other men.

[@williambreeze2659]

Good conversation guys!

[@josepenuelas4440]

Because feminism is about empowering women even more than not holding them accountable has already empowered them

[@amandawalton8044]

Let’s not ask a woman’s opinion on this, this a MANS channel