The Impact of Narcissistic Relationships on Autistic Individuals

The Impact of Narcissistic Relationships on Autistic Individuals #autistic #narcissistic #narcissist #autism #audhd

[@lauraashley8208]

💯 emotional regulator. Or emotional punching bag. Sooooo much abuse. Bc we're trusting and positive, and predators see that kindness and want to use and abuse us. No more, no way.

[@nanettie]

Yes, preach it sister

[@Kronoskustoms7]

As someone who found out late in life alot of your videos explain so much

[@nanettie]

Yes. 🙌🏼

[@nryane]

Taylor mentioning all these things helps me to make sense of 8 decades of life without a diagnosis. So many things made me feel “broken”. Now that I know I’m “neurodiverse”, the behaviors and sensory stuff of the past, now explained, help me to feel wholly myself.

[@nryane]

Thanks, Taylor. Yep. Emotionally stunted father, who raged. Emotionally stunted ex-partner, who raged. I learned from my father to give rather than receive, to placate and excuse people’s bad behaviors, and had poor boundaries, if any. EMDR trauma therapy before I left the ex-partner, and recently, have allowed me to see who I am and to seek a late diagnosis of autism. I can have empathy for individuals whose lives are challenging. However, I no longer attempt to heal them! Support vs. caretaking is now how I relate to others.

[@katyjean862]

Think of how many young women's vulnerable lives could be so much better protected if this information was more common knowledge. Being groomed to be someone's narcissistic supply is traumatizing

[@selmaave9145]

True. But young men too.

[@nanettie]

This is the story of my life. And my life gets better and better as I understand the patterns more. And identifying my own autism was a leap forward in dealing with narcissistic people who want to exploit me to enhance their own emotional stability and self-image.

[@badmonkeyking]

Feeling, have lived through. So hard , I needed professional therapy to even begin to understand what I had let myself live through.

[@etcwhatever]

What i can tell you from experience...is that you will find yourself and feel better eventually. Try to be patient with yourself, it takes times. I blamed myself so much for allowing a bad relationship...not anymore.

[@badmonkeyking]

@@etcwhatever thank you for your words and support

[@MarcoZamora]

I'm now 6 months into the ends of my second marriage, both to vulnerable narcissists. My focus now is on my therapy work and self care, hopefully making it harder to subject myself to more narcissists in the future. I have a weekly reminder on my phone with a Mayim Bialik quote from her podcast that says: "When you love yourself enough, meaning when you understand your needs enough and believe that they are worthy, you will no longer find attractive people who cannot fulfill those things for you." -- MBB with David Richo PhD

[@Fatgirlsfork]

I’m sick of being used and abused!

[@etcwhatever]

Me too. Not letting that happen again.

[@afoolinherfolly]

Is this from a longer video? Is there a way to see/be linked to the longer video?

[@nyecore]

I want someone to figure out why because I’m really about to give up on relationships. It’s not worth it and I enjoy being alone anyway

[@DaroTheDragon]

I really am scared of being hurt that I question if it’s worth it

[@nanettie]

Yep me too.

[@crowkraehenfrau2604]

Narcissists prey on empaths and we don't learn early on to protect our boundaries because we ignore them while masking.

[@etcwhatever]

I gave up. So i dont have the solution. But at least i have more peace.

[@nyecore]

@@crowkraehenfrau2604 that makes a lot of sense

[@morgainebrigid]

I remember feeling proud that *I* was the one able to stay calm in a crisis, and I saw my partner as weak and pathetic. I think this ego boost was the reason I tolerated their freakouts. I was also extremely stressed and overwhelmed all the time, and it led to me being constantly in pain in every part of my body

[@ChristChickAutistic]

Thanks for addressing this. It's been a very big deal in my life.

[@sayusayme7729]

Yes, I learned this far too late. But I’m still here as filled with love for myself and others, with ⚠️. Thank you

[@myhumansuit]

Exactly. Thank you so much for being able to calmly and intelligently explain this for a lot of us.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're welcome! Thanks for your comment

[@msjannd4]

I'm so glad you brought this up; thank you. 😌

[@leariis-jeppesen7048]

Thank you for the topic

[@EllieRose1997]

So true. Also am empath and am going through a lot now..Have been abused and neglected. Still trying to find the right place to live. When i unmask then i have been told that is “Childish.” Act like an adult. So then i just end up masking again.

[@H.Michele]

I’m glad you’re addressing this. I spent 15 years married to a covert narcissist, one of the several abusers in my life. I can easily see now how I attracted that, but I knew nothing about it at the time and met him after my first abusive marriage, which came after an abusive childhood. CPTSD also shares a lot in common with autism and I feel like a big mess of both. I don’t trust myself to discern safe people now so I avoid people completely besides my kids and it’s very lonely.

[@dawnhughes9942]

Preach it sister!

[@StarSeed1501]

You nailed this!!!!

[@jamesthompson222]

True, Thank you

[@rbaid161]

So after discovering you a few months ago and also seeing a neurologist for neurofeedback therapy, I have self diagnosed myself as a high functioning autistic woman. My neurologist even told me that my brain scans were showing the same as an autistic individual. Fast forward to this past week, and I have learned that my mom is a covert narcissist which has made three of my siblings narcissistic and 2 others as people pleasers. And in my therapy session yesterday with my therapist, she was explaining to me that my family pretty much used me for my whole life as an “object” to get their needs and wants met. This video helps to explain why the narcissists in my family would only allow me to listen to their emotions, but could care less when I would need the same from them. This whole past year has been a train wreck for me, and I don’t feel like it’s going to be getting any better soon….probably at least another 2-3 years before life will calm back down again. 😭

[@ritarevell7195]

Absolutely correct.

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Bingo !!! 💞💙👊👊

[@Hazelmaediaz1375]

Im in intensive therapy for something that sounds like this. Not sure how to describe it. I did find my voice just a little bit with this person and spoke up as to why I've done things the way I have over the years. I think they are finally realizing some of the trauma they caused.

[@KarenDUlrich]

This subject needs more airtime, especially for late diagnosed / self diagnosed autistics that get picked on, bullied, judged life long with no compass to point us north to alert us to predators. I have no filter to pick up ill intent until I have been crushed once again.

[@Unimaginative.Moniker]

Sadly, this makes too much sense to me. Ty for pointing this out. It helps so much to know that it isn't just me.

[@JonBrase]

Orion Kelly has a video on autism being mistaken for narcissism. I wonder how often narcicistic/autistic attraction is actually a case of autistic/autistic attraction with masking and self-hatred thrown into the mix. "I've worked so hard on this mask to maintain the bare minimum of social status and now you're embarrassing me by doing all the stuff I learned the hard way NOT to do???!!!"

[@H.Michele]

I see the logic, but I can’t imagine an autistic person being capable of doing the things true narcissists do. It’s pretty horrific. We have too much empathy. Narcissists experience very little to no empathy.

[@ShimmerSoulSong]

My Dad has leaned on me but I also get dysregulated. I struggle with moments of that and would like the experience of more co-regulation and tools to not have it happen.

[@crowkraehenfrau2604]

I have a narcissist thankfully at the outer edge of my life so I turned learning about that on youtube for a while. Channels like " navigating narcissism" or "med circle" Important to learn how to avoid narcissists or deal with them if we cannot completely avoid.

[@robinblossom5197]

What research is this from? It’s very interesting.

[@kirsikka3752]

In Finland we have an understanding that autistic women are six times higher in risk to experience sexual violence.

[@KatieBytes]

I end up seeking narcissists, hoping to fix them and end up mimicking and becoming them to cope... but then seek them again because if I could change them then there's hope for my mom and hope I can be different too😅

[@Type_null14]

I’m going thru some abuse and trauma today… and I can’t get out. Help. He hurts me but the worst part is that his family members only see his good side, and I can’t ask anyone for help. I am hopeless 😩

[@HannahLewisVocalist]

It's obvious the family will think best of him, they shouldn't have raised such a man that would be that way to you, even if you still love him you know it's not right. you've just got to put yourself first and take the steps necessary to leave, I get this may take time or none at all if you can find somewhere to go, but it'll be worth it. Please call or text a helpline ❤

[@Tilly850]

yes. I have very minimal contact with my family of origin now...for this reason.

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

Amen

[@kylapollard9275]

This makes so much sense! Thank you

[@zenith5844]

Ohhhhhh. That’s what I’m experiencing. I need to get out of this house

[@naomistoneify]

Whole family and all relationships thereafter. Trying really hard to stahp thaht! 😅😊🎉

[@iamb_4u908]

Yup. My ex-husband was hugely narcissistic.

[@AnnabethOwl]

The second story is bad apple. I have adhd but it wasn’t diagnosed until HS if a teacher had flashing rainbow lights I couldn’t focus either and would immediately become friends with the person that got her to turn off the light. And then the public shaming in front of the class shocked me. I had a teacher in elementary do something similar to me and it lead me to just not trusting any teachers and never asking for help. But also HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO THAT TO A PERSON AND THINK ITS OKAY ANS REASONABLE!

[@djs032]

I dated a girl who found out she was autistic I remember her asking me to help her with remembering things there were times when I would remind her of the things she asked me to and she would get upset at me for doing that even though it was something she asked me to do

[@robbiegibson4112]

Very interesting. My oldest son is a narcissist. He lives with me. He does pay his own bills but, it's very difficult. We have enough to deal with. I do not even know if I am autistic yet? Definitely very Neurodivergent .

[@craigcarter400]

There was definitely some of that in my former marriage. I don’t know the new guy (23m), but he could be the same way as me just 17 years younger. Hopefully they are happy together anyways since they have one daughter, and a boy and girl twins on the way.

[@Argeaux2]

This was me with my mother and sister. I no longer see my mother and sister. They were both harmful to me.

[@colepeterson9961]

Attachment styles play into this. Dismissive avoidant and anxious avoidant are extremely common attachment styles for autistic people. If you're dismissive avoidant you're more likely to attract people with BPD, if you're anxious avoidant you're more likely to attract people with NPD. If you're codependent you might attract either one. Obviously this isn't the only type of people you'll attract, but likely at the very least your partners attachment style is going to be reflective of your own.

[@hackaboom]

not sure if im on the spectrum or not(if not then im still very not "normal") but as a man I have realized (recently)my deep desire to help is often taken advantage of by the women that do date me. (im positive im pretty in the eyes of alot of women) either way I give up :/ thanks for talking about things you have learned its helped a bunch in understanding things. keep up the videos :)

[@Makkaru112]

Cut off at the end. Full version where???

[@gigi2091]

Other people than suck out your energy or transgress their boundaries and always want to have a say in our lives and even try to force their opinion on us or me

[@bryonyvaughn2427]

Oof. Yah. Ngl, seeing my abusive ex, even before the divorce was finalized pursuing an autistic woman 20 years younger than me made me realize I was preyed upon for my vulnerability to manipulation.

[@tcsa9961]

This is me

[@karolinaska6836]

Do you have any thoughts about narcissists pretending/claiming to be autistic?

[@MrDaydreamer1584]

"pathological empathy" (would that be a good term?)

[@tinawilstrup955]

Or maybe, because we always try to fit in and not gain attention on ourselves, we tend to accept the narcissistic behavior longer than neurotypical people 🤔 I know I've had my share of narcissists in my life, some of them as my boss which was absolutely horrible. This was all prior to learning about my autism.

[@xbemos]

I’m not sure we find ourselves in them so much as a narc parent or abuse as a child caused our asd. I’m convinced asd can directly stream from cptsd!

[@thattitus2life]

Where can I see the rest of what you were saying 😮😊

[@Nightwalker25-m3u]

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@stephencolligan]

Perhaps an NT’s higher social and emotional needs could be interpreted as narcissism to an autistic person ? Confusing ,when some ASD level 1 traits are narcissistic themselves ,despite not being intentional,for the neurodiverse couples,to say the least.

[@Earthismadeoflayers]

Narcissistic family for sure, and they still try to put me in the corner in my 40's!

[@lindsaydiscovers9842]

Do you think it's possible that narcissistic parents could in a way create neurodivergent children, or at least cause or increase some of the challenges neurodivergentpeople face? My sister is diagnosed with Autism, me with ADHD, but we think we're actually both AuDHD. We were raised in a narcissistic family system, and were very emotionally and psychologically abused by our narcissistic father.

[@TurtlesNTacos]

A word of caution… in the last decade the term narcissist gets thrown around casually… to paint a broad picture about the ASD community “attracting” narcissists would seem to be a generalization that may / may not be represented in research. It sounds like this was your personal situation (sorry to hear that.) It might be helpful to state this is your personal experience vs making general statements without referring to statistical / researched data.

[@SadieHartMusic]

THIS but we don't "attract" abusive ppl. We tolerate abusive ppl for a variety of reasons: conditioning, naivete, extreme empathy. But we don't ever attract it. It is never your fault my loves. Just a word choice thing that feels important to me ❤️‍🩹

[@hackaboom]

since we dont throw them out of our lives we get stuck with them? this makes sense to me.