The Jedi are taking over!

[@sealsaregood5146]

The quick text is in the description, time-stamped for your convenience. We're currently working on reaching our stretch goal of 37 patrons (we currently have 14/37) for our goal of Anakin's full thesis! www.patreon.com/SealsareGood As ever, please don't feel under any compulsion to join my Patreon. No matter what happens with the stretch goal, I plan on continuing to make comedic videos for the foreseeable future. If you have requests for videos, potential further stretch goals, or would like to share why you agree General Grievous is the best villain Star Wars has ever had, feel free to reply to this message!

[@MrDj232]

Giving Anakin an actual thesis was the best decision this channel ever made. I laughed nonstop for the entire video.

[@bobsyme3118]

Looking forward to hearing more of Anakins thesis

[@Iaotle]

Do patrons get access to the full 2.5 hr thesis with interesting side tangent?

[@Mikufanboy3]

General Grievous from Star wars 2003 was peak and nothing ever since could ever amount to it

[@Nukhebuk]

Can't wait to look like palpatine after hearing the full thing!

[@bobthespud9634]

to be fair, mace did say he could talk about his thesis as long as someone asked about it

[@krazykid4658]

True

[@Chronoflation]

His 1 fatal mistake

[@oldstump1628]

That is what it do yugi.

[@foxanard]

It was at that moment MS Windows knew - he fucked up

[@floricel_112]

And that is why he didn't interrupt Anakin. He just spared HIMSELF the experience

[@Vilgax00]

Mace saved his own ass. Now Palpy stuck with Anakin for rest of his life.

[@Vladisilav]

No wonder he somehow returned. The regret over having to deal with Anakin for the rest of your (first) life is a pathway to many abilities some would consider to be... unnatural.

[@dirdib69]

The next scene would have been Palpy trying to follow Mace out the window but Anakin holding him back.

[@jasonsmith6219]

@@Vladisilav Never watched the sequels but from the little I heard on the internet like to imagine in the ThesusVerse, Kylo's obsession with Darth Vadar stems from Anakin's thesis and he manages to get Rey hooked onto it as well. They explain to the reborn Palpatine how they had their wedding themed after the story of Darth Plagiueis and quote Anakin's thesis to one another every night. He then proceeds to jump off the building and to his death.

[@josehenriquefs888]

@@jasonsmith6219 I will henceforth consider this canon, as it is way more interesting than Episode IX

[@Umbra_Ursus]

He's gonna reach the point where he starts wondering: "Is it too late to make Grievous my apprentice? Yeah, he's got that bizarre kink for lightsabers, but at least he'll never bring up that accursed thesis..."

[@thenut4238]

I cant wait for Doctor Vader to explain his thesis to luke

[@nice3333333333]

And Luke just jumps off, bloody brilliant

[@DRDDR8]

​@@nice3333333333 And Luke fights him on the second death star to not hear his thesis, Palpatine also joins in by electrocuting Vader. Finally, luke takes off Vader's helmet to kill him, finally ridding the galaxy of Anakin's thesis

[@CMVBrielman]

Obi Wan never told you who wrote the thesis…

[@Jan_Koopman]

YES!

[@jpalmer999]

@@CMVBrielman He told me enough! He told me never to listen to it!

[@stonetimekeeper]

Anakin is the dumbest smart guy ever and I love it.

[@thetheory6159]

Padme tried flirting with him, then when it didn't work (because he's an oblivious dumbass), she just engaged with him on an intellectual level, which actually worked.

[@GAarcher]

*When one knows about zoroastrism, either you know it's a religion of ancient persia, or Anakin played Fate/Hollow Ataraxia...a fucking visual novel, absolute fatherless gameplay*

[@alexxx4434]

Socially dumb but philosophically wise

[@mguy5923]

Int build with Wis and Cha as dump stats.

[@LordOfGilneas]

@@GAarcher Honestly Given Anakin he probably researched it after playing fate/hollow ataraxia, decided it was worth incorporating into his thesis.

[@deasttttt]

The sadness and disappointment in his voice when he says "Are we not overthrowing the government?"

[@cjmarion6350]

i would also be upset in that situation, SPACE WIZARD THEOCRATIC DICTATORSHIP ALL THE WAYYYYYYY!!!! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!

[@r3dp9]

Now I want an AU where Anakin sides with Mace, but tries to take over and we wind up with a reborn Palpy, the Empire, and Vader in time for A New Hope.

[@VainerCactus0]

I think most people would be happy just starting with the federal reserve, the IRS, the ATF, the FBI and CIA.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Everybody would be sad if Overthrowing the Government wasn't on today's to do list.

[@cheesetomeetyou]

@@VainerCactus0especially the IRS

[@r.o.b8728]

Darth Thesis

[@Shrike_XV]

Have you ever heard the comedy of Darth Thesis' rise?

[@XFGHL78E]

Darth Dichotomy

[@ShiningLight]

Darthesis

[@momtchilboshniakov290]

​@XFGHL78E the dycotomy of darth thesis' rise 😊

[@LenoViburnum]

​@@XFGHL78E Darth Dichotomy sounds like a pretty good title-

[@Paladen_X]

“If someone is fucking stupid enough to ask about the topic of your thesis then…and only then, are you allowed to discuss it” - Mace Windu

[@maxisaev568]

You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to deconstruct the thesis, not recite it!

[@stooge389]

ironic... he had the power to stop Anakin from reciting his entire 2.5 hour thesis verbatim, but couldn't stop Palpytwine from asking about it in front of him...

[@alidaraie]

Hoisted by his own petard

[@royhe3154]

He finally started a conversation with "Hi Mace, how are you" 😢

[@lazrustosadow5880]

Progress

[@u.v.s.5583]

Doctor Skywanker should have waited until Master Window has finished his project.

[@bobsyme3118]

I dont know why but i really love this series of clips

[@DotepenecPL]

And this moment already, together with Master Windows's response, had me in stitches, not even ten seconds into the video. ;D

[@Rahhelthethird]

Why didn't I foresee Mace jumping voluntarily out of the window? That makes so much sense!

[@cyberninjazero5659]

You'd think the law establishing that Jedi Masters throw themselves out of windows was establishing plausible deniability ahead of time. BUT NO

[@MrTapkomet]

@@cyberninjazero5659 remind me, which video had the part about Jedi Masters and windows?

[@cyberninjazero5659]

@@MrTapkomet The one where they give Anakin his Jedi Masters after trying to deny him because of his thesis

[@MHurley21]

​@@cyberninjazero5659More specifically, a spot opened up on the Jedi council because one of the masters threw herself out of a window to escape Anakin's thesis.

[@r3dp9]

I expected that, but not Palpy aging.

[@arnatar2086]

Anakins most effective and disturbing weapon: Recite his thesis verbatim.

[@victormirandakoepke8352]

Don't forget his interesting side tangents

[@bubbles784]

@@victormirandakoepke8352 That is to showcase the mastery the user has over the thesis.

[@letoasterist419]

I do not fear a man who has mastered the dark side of the Force. I fear the man who memorised and recites their two and a half hour thesis, with the interesting side tangent, vebatim.

[@gama343]

And that maniac Palpatine agreed to publish it...

[@FrostSylph]

I can't wait for Luke to be the one to redeem him by being the one person willing to actually discuss his thesis with him.

[@gonotgentleman]

Secretly, Master Yoda is only three hundred years old. He’s just been cornered by Anakin multiple times and forced to listen to his working thesis while on a cocaine bender.

[@matthewbarabas3052]

yoda went through the whole thesis talk *six times*-

[@viniciushenrique6672]

​@@matthewbarabas3052 No wonder he uses so many drugs. He's trying to forget Anakin's thesis as much as possible.

[@jamesburton9559]

When the thesis you hear, look this good you will not.

[@purpleflaminggoatsnakes9864]

That's why he really threw Anakin into a wall, because he didn't wanna hear about dichotomy one more time

[@voidimperial1179]

Everyones talking about Yoda here but I wanna talk about how Anakin cornered a Yoda who was higher than the temple on booger sugar

[@DeusExDraconian]

The most tragic part of Mace's death is that the last thing he ever heard was Anakin's Thesis. I'm not even sure the scream of the rushing wind as he plummeted toward the floor miles below would have drowned it out.

[@jpalmer999]

Well he isn't necessarily dead. At least according to the game adaptation. Edit: Actually imagine a guitar hero style game but with Anakin's thesis instead.

[@toricon8070]

The most tragic part of Mace's death is that he didn't survive to hear the conclusion of Anakin's Thesis. It wraps the whole thing up beautifully and makes an already fulfilling experience even more enriching.

[@austinestep8461]

@@toricon8070it is said that that portion alone ages one by 20 years

[@mysticdragonwolf89]

I do believe he would’ve been screaming *_FUCK NO! LET THE SITH HAVE HIM!LET THE REPUBLIC FALL!_* with a little bit of mutherfuckers inserted throughout

[@lowganc1739]

That's a long way down. Plenty of time to mull over the finer points of Anakin's thesis.

[@planetbob6703]

"I need him! To validate my thesis as a primary source." D(a)r(th). Vader

[@datzee9315]

ath vader, a truly unique name

[@MakenaForest]

​​@datzee9315 dr. vader (PHD)

[@Yng_Roshi]

Bro I laughed really loud at the d(a)r(th). That was just genius 😂

[@austinjacques6913]

Maces Windus “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU” held such fear and anger in it

[@ArcCaravan]

The best part is I can't tell who he's actually saying that to.

[@MCSPARTAN501]

@@ArcCaravan Mainly to Palpatine I think. Mace considers listening to Anakin's thesis to be far worse than a quick death. Palpatine probably thought Mace had a point after listening to the entire thing.

[@ArcCaravan]

@@MCSPARTAN501 Fair, but I still think it's nice how the exact words could apply to either.

[@trentmorgan5600]

@@MCSPARTAN501 well Palpatine did age over a century just listening to his thesis, and he only had to endure it once, the entire jedi temple had to suffer through it enough times to where they banned him from ever talking about it

[@yoface2537]

And fear leads to angry, anger leads to hate, hatred leads to suffering

[@cackjooper]

the pauses between dialogue with only the sound of a humming lightsaber in the background is the funniest thing ever

[@patchwork5532]

Mace and Palps both just staring blankly at Anakin really made the video for me.

[@sanlorenzo7896]

@@patchwork5532He really was a slow learner with the Sith Code 😂

[@Ridgwaycer]

@@patchwork5532 How they manage to get emotion out of still images, I don't know.

[@deadmeme897]

I thought that the Zoroastrianism topic would end up leading to Anakin talking about dichotomy, but Palpatine just straight up asked for the thesis lmao.

[@warlordofbritannia]

Dualism is a gateway to dichotomy

[@davidwuhrer6704]

I think that the connection between Ahrimanes and the Dark Side is pretty obvious, at least from a Jedi perspective, but I have no doubt that Dr Vader will write his habilitation about it.

[@Saeronor]

@@davidwuhrer6704 Given sudden lack of anyone called Jedi, such habilitation might turn out very easy due to lack of competition for any tenure spot. Curiously, this lack of competition is long-term, includes even future primary schoolers.

[@arbknight12]

Palpatine: “I’m not going to sugarcoat this: Mistakes were made. I REALLY should have expanded the selection process.”

[@sanadamakie]

30+ yrs later: Palpatine says "You know what? I'll just make my own apprentices."

[@Maddinhpws]

I love that in this version, it wasn't Anakin betraying the Jedi by saving Palpatine, but instead Windu killing himself and Palpatine looking disfigured from having to listen to Anakins thesis.

[@Formalec]

Love how consistent "the Anakins Thesis is the worst imaginable torture" is in this fanverse.🤣

[@stooge389]

thank u for the plot summary

[@Maddinhpws]

@@stooge389 No problem, of course plot summaries are regarded as secondary sources, as they are simply a transformative work of one or more primary sources. In this case it would simply be writing out the core points of a specific subplot of a primary source for ease of access.

[@cyberninjazero5659]

Palpatine, making it law that Jedi Masters always throw themselves out of windows, seemed like setting up plausible deniability for himself, but it turned out it was actually a defense for Anikan the entire time. In both versions, it swings back to Anakin being responsible for Mace's demise. Fantastic

[@nice3333333333]

Could you explain that in the shape of a dichotomy?

[@idontwantachannelfuckyougo5164]

@@nice3333333333 Certainly! Though I may get get into an interesting side tangent during the process

[@worndown8280]

It explains the defenestration of Luke in Empire Strikes Back. Anakin was only carrying on tradition and being a loyal member of the Empire.

[@cyberninjazero5659]

@@worndown8280 I've said this before, but I can't wait till we get to the original trilogy, and Vader starts telling Luke his thesis, causing him to jump/tries to convince Luke to write his own thesis "Join me as teaching assistant and doctorate student"

[@reddytoplay9188]

Since he is his son Luke might join in, remember what he is supposed to do. Go to Palpatine and then Vader saves him because he was the only one interested in his Thesis. ​@@cyberninjazero5659

[@AbadonXXX]

Anakin’s thesis is capable of life steal, truly a sith power

[@chameon378]

So, logically speaking, this might actually be a Jedi Power. While there definitely is passion in the Thesis, and there's no mistaking that, it contains logic and consideration without an obsession with what emotions the material might invoke in their wielder. He did not avoid the material because it was controversial, he considered the actual nature of the material, found something that he considered to be relevant to an understanding of the Force as a whole, and sought to publish it after getting as much peer review as he could manage to confirm or deny the nature of his thesis, finding as many objections as he could. Or perhaps it's one of those weird 'grey' jedi powers that uses both dark and light wibbly-doos to do bizarro space magic.

[@AbadonXXX]

Imagine if he could realize his full potential and become a grey jedi plus a doctor in this universe

[@warlordofbritannia]

@@chameon378 You should expand this into a paper for the Jedi Philosophy Journal, I think you’re onto something

[@kylekillgannon]

The Thesis is a doorway to many gifts the Jedi may see as unnatural.

[@koc988]

​@@chameon378You should move to expand this into a full paper, I think you're touching on something with merit and vigor.

[@shaftoe195]

In this continuity, the Death Star is a giant broadcasting station with nearly unlimited range, set on spreading the message of Anakin's thesis to the masses (while jamming all other communications), whether they want it or not. The population of Alderaan, unwisely, chose to detonate their planet's Kyber crystal power plant to escape their fate. Little did they know, use of that power plant made them all latent force users, so they became force ghosts, and had to listen to the thesis - broadcasted on repeat - anyway. Palpatine believes this to be both the most evil act in history of the galaxy, and the ultimate tool for quelling rebellions. Though he himself - oddly (to Anakin) - chose to move to a heavily shielded and insulated bunker at an undisclosed location, far outside of the Galactic Core.

[@mbggrossman4131]

Truly a creation most vile, and if I remember correctly, the torture droid in the original trilogy somewhat resembled the Death Star, meaning that in this universe it could just be an audio recorder and player.

[@lisboah]

"He jumped out of the window" The funny thing is that, for once, Palpatine isn't lying when he said that.

[@stooge389]

You know, Russian oligarchs and spies and diplomats are always falling out of windows, and Mace Windu through himself out of a window. Maybe we were wrong, and all those Russian guys weren't actually being killed by being thrown out of windows by murderers who wanted to kill their target while having the plausible deniability of making it look like a suicide. Maybe Anakin is actually Russian, and he keeps reciting his thesis to all those guys, and so they just throw themselves out of windows.

[@anon1403]

Master Windu: “I can’t take it anymore! That thesis was the worst torture I’ve ever experienced! I welcome the sweet embrace of death for that reason alone!”

[@u.v.s.5583]

UNLIMITED LITERARY SCIENCE!

[@christoff124]

He became one with the force and safe from the thesis.

[@Iwhoremain]

​​@@christoff124 I don't think so. Anakin died as a jedi and If mace windu became force ghost he would heard Anakin talking about his thesis for eternity. It's hell for mace

[@austinestep8461]

@@u.v.s.5583 Dr. Vader, former Sith Lord

[@nooneinparticular1491]

@anon1403 - The courts have already determined that Anakin cannot be held responsible for Jedi Masters flinging themselves out of windows, since they're always doing that anyway!

[@arkbuble]

Don't worry Anakin, im sure there will be other Jedis that would love to hear your thesis. Few years later. Darth Vader: No, I AM YOUR FATHER. Oh and by the way, let me tell you about my thesis. Cut to Luke jumping down the hatch

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

He has Anakin's blood, he will jump down because Vader disproves his thesis/says he published his father's thesis.

[@michelveilleux123]

Vader: "Dammit! Why does no one want to hear about my thesis?!?!"

[@sobasicallyisuck7656]

I love that palpatine is constantly trying to follow the original script no matter how insane everything else is Edit: I currently have 666 likes. The next people to leave a like on this comment Will bear the punishment of hearing Anakin's thesis.

[@Lord_Geonossis]

Untill at the end of this video he finally embraces madness and uses it to fulfill his master plan

[@sobasicallyisuck7656]

@@Lord_Geonossis this is true but my guess is that since this is the one time he veers away from the script he bears the punishment of hearing Anakin's thesis making him fear ever breaking the script again

[@mysticdragonwolf89]

Well it is his plot after all. Something’s are best keeping to the script, with a little improve

[@stooge389]

THE JEDi are taking over...! THE JEDi are taking over...! ... ... ... THE JEDI ARE TAKING OVER!

[@lastfirst5863]

“Everything is proceeding exactly as I have forseen’t”

[@reverserio]

I love how this circles back to the legal precedent that Jedi throw themselves out of windows. The writing in these skits are gold.

[@almessasorrow4950]

I have a strange feeling that Vader is going to say his Theseus in the throne room causing palptine to throw himself down a reactor shaft

[@dalesabandal9113]

Palpatine: “Now Skywalker, you die.” *electrocutes luke* Luke: *Dying gasp* Father. Thesis. Now Vader: Oh *excited surprise* if my son demands, then *starts talking about his new thesis* *4 hours later* Vader: Glad you enjoyed it son, wait where’s the emperor? Luke (episode 8 appearance) he threw himself down the reactor shaft. Vader: Why do you look? Luke: Like ive aged 30 years? Its fine, that happens. Thanks for saving me and bringing balance to the force dad. Vader: Balance? Like a dichotomy? Oh that reminds me Luke: NOOOOOO

[@katakesh8566]

Petition to title the playlist of these videos; Anakin Shrugged

[@sealsaregood5146]

This is genius and it will be so

[@katakesh8566]

@@sealsaregood5146 thank corey's datapad, I'm but a humble messenger

[@floricel_112]

I don't get it

[@Isthatsimple]

​@@floricel_112 Atlas shrugged

[@floricel_112]

@@Isthatsimple I don't know what that is

[@gornrox7518]

Palpatine finally giving up on his whole script and using Anakin's love of his thesis to fufill his plans is the best thing I've seen yet

[@darthmeta6445]

I can only imagine that when Windu jumped out the window, Sidious felt betrayed by him. "No, wait!! You Jedi bastard!! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!"

[@u.v.s.5583]

No, Senator, you said you would follow the career of the young Anakin with great interest, now put your silly ass in front of the life work of this overgrown padawan and suffer!

[@bernardoayres1139]

Palpatine actually tried to jump with him, but in a last ditch effort, Mace force pushed him back into the apartment. Unfortunately, Anakin had already finished the intro and was well into the 1st chapter, which is said to cause the victim, I mean the listener, to simply lose any will to do anything, leaving them immobilized as, word after word, their faces melt...

[@darthmeta6445]

@@bernardoayres1139 XD I don't know if this was a horrible decision on Windu's part or a brilliant move in his last seconds of life. At the very least, it's a good thing he's dead, otherwise Sidious could have wrangled him in to be tried for torture or cruel and unusual punishment. I'm certain that Sidious is going to bring back capital punishment as a fitting sentence for any and all sharing of theses.

[@darthmeta6445]

@@bernardoayres1139 Hmm... perhaps there was a quicker, less violent manner of death that could have been dealt to the Jedi? Maybe hand-held blasters or tank cannons? Ah, but replacing all of those clones will be too costly. Perhaps a cheaper alternative could be found? There's an entire galaxy full of proud, dedicated humans who would stop at nothing to serve their Emperor out of their loyalty to him and his hatred of theses.

[@nicholaspeterman9111]

So it was treason then?

[@cazperzero]

Palps took that thesis right smack into the face

[@lemonlupinreuben5362]

He aged 100 years because of it, that's the power of the thesis

[@AngelBlade69]

Can we weaponize this thesis?

[@arnatar2086]

But it was quick thinking to demand the whole thesis to save himself from Mace. Even though it was very costly and Palps probably did not expect the 25 years the interesting side tangents caused.

[@skoaldipper125]

Anakin’s thesis is either really mind melting or absolutely nonsensical to the point someone is willing to jump out a window over. Either way I need to hear the entire thing for myself

[@RoronoaZoro-ur6hr]

I'd like Anakin narrating the entire Darth Plaguise the Wise Star Wars Legends novel.

[@Mglue3]

It could be incredibly boring. So boring he gets thrown into a wall. Talking bout a thesis? Fatherless behavior.

[@small.clover]

Well, we're gonna hear the whole thing for real if Seals hits 37 patrons

[@Banazir-uz9zt]

I mean it's not nonsensical, just really long and boring. From what we've seen, all of RotS could have been avoided if anyone just listened to him for one minute.

[@lock376]

From the brief bits of it it's actually kind of insightful in a college grad kind of way, it's also just dry and meandering

[@pleaserespond3984]

1:48 At this exact moment a flock of seagulls flew over laughing maniacally and for a second I thought there was a laugh track in the video, it fit so well.

[@ZhijingEu]

No way! Is this a deep cut reference to a 7 year old bad lip reading parody Star Wars song ?!?! kzbin.info/www/bejne/i2rXXqaigdFmZqcsi=n6NPzzurJJVh5eLL

[@kibatgrenbuku]

I don't think so ​@@ZhijingEu but I love how you referenced the song. 😂😂😂

[@CubemasterXD]

0:17 oh my god he is using the force to predict when and where he can talk about his thesis i cant xD

[@nathanielzarny1176]

66 likes, sorry I can't give you anymore

[@Yng_Roshi]

Lol Yoda saying "fatherless behavior" for Anakin disposing his needles is ironic 💀

[@idontwantachannelfuckyougo5164]

Cause without those needles Shmi wouldn't have become pregnant?

[@warlordofbritannia]

Isn’t the canon explanation that Yoda’s species just spontaneous generate?

[@Marines_Memelevolent]

@@warlordofbritanniaafaik the official explanation is that there isn’t one. Lucas wanted Yoda’s species to remain a total mystery, and iirc Disney has at the very least (for now) kept to that.

[@JLo-g4s]

​​@@Marines_Memelevolentkinda. They put it forward to suggest to the audience Yodas reproduce male and female, a single offspring and said offspring having a 50+ year infant stage. Without saying it directly but it is obviously intended as the only logical explanation for Grogu's existence Add also that it took Yoda 900 years b4 having said infant so there's a lot about the species Disney is taking the liberty on so I don't give them any sort of credit in that regard. The most I can say personally is what they've added isn't terrible as far as Yodas r concerned for now

[@rockstar11180]

Interesting. It was Mace who sparked Anakin’s interest in the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise and he met his end by the thesis Anakin wrote from that interest. This also echoes the curiously titled Sometimes We Do a Little Self Sabotage. Also Anakin’s passion for the tale and the dichotomy therein certainly allowed him to gain strength and power. The damage wrought by his thesis is truly tremendous.

[@Eva-uw6uo]

2:55 Palpatine prolly thought "I just have to survive this and I'm in the fucking clear!" only to have suffered a fate worse than death, no wonder he goes from secretive manipulator to full on bastard later

[@MartinToms]

"You always say through passion I gain strength" I'm imagining Palpatine just casually quoting the Sith code in the Senate 😆😆😆

[@nighthero7]

Tbf: It would be a pretty good motivational style speech. So it is kind of not too unusual to think a politician might say it.

[@waltvonkeisel5610]

His new title is henceforth, Dark Thesius the Learned.

[@motharchenemy8549]

If i replace anakins limbs will it still be the same anakin

[@waltvonkeisel5610]

@@motharchenemy8549 Well yes but no

[@asinineSkeptic]

Bravo, you both, bravo

[@voidimperial1179]

@@motharchenemy8549 Ask about Darth Plagueis and you'll see

[@sethcushman5454]

I love that at 3:20, they casually abbreviate The Tragedy Of Dark Plageus The Wise as TODPTW as if it's something everybody should know, like how BOTW is Zelda Breath of the Wild or something.

[@davidwuhrer6704]

It has come up a lot recently, despite Windu's best efforts to suppress it. But information wants to be free.

[@D461Sage]

In academic writing, after you use a full phrase once, you typically abbreviate it for subsequent uses. Although they usually do this: The Tradgedy of Darth Plaguis the Wise(TODPTW)

[@zacariasdelalcazar8873]

Naw BOTW is clearly Backstroke of the West

[@puphafishprime]

The hum of the lightsabre in the quiet moments made everything that extra bit funnier. Another great academic presentation

[@u.v.s.5583]

The quiet hum of the lightsabers always underlines the life-and-death character of a good tragedy.

[@DaLordIsBack1]

Indeed, a hard, but necessary conversation. I understand fully.

[@grimlockgreg3063]

The idea that mace would rather die and leave the Jedi order to whatever sidious is going to do instead of hearing Anikans thesis is probably the funniest part of this. 10/10 work, may we one day hear that thesis in full

[@NinjasticFlare]

That’s what Obi-Wan meant when he said “You’re only a master of evil, Darth”. Palpatine didn’t give him his sith name yet

[@NotYourRealMom]

vader's the name he took to spread his thesis over the holonet forums

[@AmandaFessler]

So I wasn't the only one who noticed the awkward pause in ROTS between "Darth" and "Vader". Glorious.

[@liborohanka5010]

I believe, it's explained. Something about how all Sith get their name. Master basically connect with dark side of force and let himself say name, that force choose for student. So pause is actually Palpatine listening what Anakin new name will be.

[@Chameleonred5]

@@liborohanka5010 The movies stand by themselves. If the explanation isn't in the movie, it's an awkward pause, not a force-vision.

[@davidwuhrer6704]

​@@Chameleonred5It works either way

[@JonSmith-hk1bq]

@@Chameleonred5 Eh, if it's not a Force vision, then it's just Palpatine taking a second to think up a name. Either way.

[@NotYourRealMom]

to be fair, he WAS pretty senile imo

[@Im_Absolute]

Your abridged series is a wonderful delight. Thank you for this creative reimagining of tha series

[@Sizdothyx]

"I aged about a century listening to your thesis." "Wow, what a century that must have been."

[@inductivegrunt94]

0:46 Anakin will always find some way to bring up his thesis, much to Mace's frustration 😂 2:56 Palpatine's ultimate tool to turn Anakin to his side, publishing Anakin's thesis 🤣

[@craytherlaygaming2852]

He won but at what cost?

[@marsfreelander5969]

Anikin: "where did mace go?" Palpy: "he jumped out the windu."

[@TimKessler-q3s]

The lightsaber sound during the silence is so powerful for the comedic aspect

[@pattersong6637]

The metatextual link between the dualism of Force worship between Jedi and Sith and the Zoroastrian dualist view of reality has been noted by many scholars. As the late Jedi Anakin Skywalker noted in his thesis, the Zoroastrians believed that reality was akin to a battlefield between a good deity, Ahura Mazda, and an evil one, Angra Manyu, popularly also known as Ahriman. Jedi Anakin pointed out that just as Zoroastrians believe both deities existed but only followed one, the Jedi and Sith both know that both the light side and dark side of the Force exist but only follow one. This practice is often called monolatrist (not to be confused with monotheist), as the Zoroastrian may believe two Gods exist but only follow and worship one of them. This dichotomy is reflected in the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise, as Darth Plagueis seeks to preserve life but rather than turn to the light side of the Force, typically associated with nurturing, sustaining, and protecting, he turned to the dark side, typically associated with death and destruction. Turning to the dark side is a natural instinct for a Dark Lord of the Sith, as the eponymous "Dark" in his title reflected an affinity to the dark side, yet it blinded Plagueis to the possibility that power to preserve life might be better sought in the light side. Plagueis further neglected the dark side's tendency to produce self-destructive outcomes for its users and failed to consider that though he had the power to preserve the lives of others, he could not sustain his own life. "Ironic," wrote Jedi Skywalker. The irony of this is in the form of dramatic irony, for Plagueis did not know what the audience of the story knew, that the dark side leads to the destruction of its users. Jedi Skywalker is assumed to have died in the Jedi Purge the night Darth Vader appeared and destroyed the Jedi Temple. However, his thesis was further explored in Vader's own thesis on the Zoroastrian influence on Jedi and Sith philosophy, which cited Skywalker's works heavily. Ironically, despite quite possibly killing Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader was clearly well read on Skywalker's works and in dialogue with Skywalker's themes.

[@davidwuhrer6704]

Very good, but what doesn't sit right with me is that if the Dark Side tends to destroy its worshippers in ironic ways, it would run out of worshippers pretty quickly. It has to have something to offer, but almost everything we hear about it is from those who choose not to follow it, which suggests confirmation bias. And also the saw that every accusation is an admission. "He does not look behind the door who hadn't stood there himself" and all that.

[@NotYourRealMom]

One can have enemies, but still respect their views. Perspective can be gained by studying the ways of those you do not agree with. After all, we all see things from a certain point of view, and not trying to understand leads to ignorance that can create rifts between the people.

[@cooldawg5575]

I’m just imagining that obiwan, as the master of defense and the one who taught anakin, will have a thesis far longer than his pupil could ever hope to match about the uses of the high ground in combat, with a particular lense on its risks, but also great rewards when utilized properly…

[@NotYourRealMom]

i mean, anakin's studious and thorough research wasn't developed in a vacuum. i'm sure obi-wan used the other half of his time not gaslighting his former padawan by teaching him proper diction and citation taking.

[@stooge389]

4 hour unabridged high ground thesis video release when mr seals are good

[@PSiOO2]

Anakin mentioed Padme was one who could criticise his works, meaning she could follow and understand them enough to see flaws. Obviously Anakin was enabled by his environment

[@valmid5069]

Anyone: is it possible to learn about this thesis Anakin: *….Not From A Jedi*

[@TheBigExclusive]

Normally the Dark Side gives the name. But even the Dark side doesn't know what to name Anakin after hearing his thesis. 😂

[@davidwuhrer6704]

Darth Obvious?

[@nighthero7]

Darth PhD (Peasant Hero Dark Lord)

[@cgprasetio4417]

Darth thesis

[@NotYourRealMom]

Darth Dichotomus

[@TorinR90]

Omg 🤣🤣 When Mace yells "What the fu$% is wrong with you?!" at Palps, it just really really got me I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard, the timing and intensity of the response was perfect! Incredible work Seals, love it 😂😂

[@silverloony1170]

2:35 "He does that to everyone. It isn't just a 'you' thing." 🤣🤣🤣

[@GZilla311]

Mace is surprisingly reasonable in this timeline.

[@blakeares3424]

I really appreciate you adding all the cut off dialogue as chapters, much more convenient than having to pause and rewind every time I miss one.

[@Yng_Roshi]

Unrelated but I believe Obi-Wan secretly loved Anakin's thesis, but doesn't want to bullied again by the council (especially yoda)

[@cooldawg5575]

That would be funny to learn with the dual of the fates version: Anakin attacks obi wan because he thinks he wants to delete his thesis from Holocron word, but in reality he saved it and recorded a 5 hour critique of the 2 and 1/2 hour essay to give to Anakin as a gift to help him publish it properly.

[@snes90]

I mean, we were all bracing ourselves for Obi-Wan to say "I have the [moral] high ground." This would be a great way to see that happen!

[@thegrandnope7143]

@@cooldawg5575 Honestly, yeah that sounds like an Obi-Wan thing to do, sit down, read Anakins Thesis, then read all of the books Anakin used as sources, then re-read the Thesis, find more books about Anakin's ideology, philosophy and ideals, sit down and read a great many books about the ideology he, Obi-Wan, subscribes too and then record a 5+ hour long critique of Anakins Thesis as well as create a 2 and a half hour essay about his own ideology and ship it off to Anakin for his Birthday along with a couple of books about his, Obi-Wans, ideology so he and Anakin can discuss each others Theses and critique each others work, without Masters Yoda and Mace Window calling them 'fatherless bitches'.

[@sanadamakie]

​@@thegrandnope7143 this really adds to the tragedy that Obi-wan really cared so much about Anakin but Anakin couldn't see it, leading to their Mustafar duel. 😢

[@mbggrossman4131]

@@sanadamakiewhat a heartbreaking DICHOTOMY

[@Kori0129]

We all know "Darth Dichotomy" is the only valid Sith name for him.

[@explosivtarknas1996]

"My...thesis?" You just know Palpatine's going to pull the whole "In your anger you killed it" card when Anakin finally becomes Vader, just to see if it works.

[@dyma1]

3:28 I didn't think that Anakin's thesis so terrible that it has ability to force drain other users💀

[@Kirk-36Moshpit]

This man really talked about his thesis for 3 hours straight, and had the audacity to ask how long the Force would take to give him a new name. Might be time for a new thesis on social etiquette.

[@Doctor4077]

Why do I feel like you’re actually writing out Anakin’s thesis behind the scenes and are going to one day drop a 2 1/2 hour video of him just staring at the viewer while he talks about it uninterrupted?

[@madma5855]

I would unironically listen to that and enjoy it to the fullest

[@Chronoflation]

And the most agonizing part for the viewers will be that the video will be full of single frame written lines that are essential addendums to clarify entire sections of the thesis, thus forcing avid listeners to pause repeatedly and scroll to the exact frame to read what he said

[@madma5855]

A small price for greatness

[@small.clover]

They are, they'll release it when they hit 37 patrons

[@TnlGC]

And add Mace jumping out at the 90th minute mark

[@Antroz0n]

(3:52) Darth Thesis

[@bigshortstop1931]

I like how both Mace and Palpatine are both just too flabbergasted at Anakin to continue fighting each other.

[@Gotenks7Kid]

It’s not Anakins fault- Jedi masters are ALWAYS throwing themselves out of windows, TAHTS legal president now.

[@abmmllll5825]

Darth Dichotomy

[@lewstherintelamon244]

In this timeline, Anakin married his thesis. Padmé was only his side chick.

[@nighthero7]

Padme: No Anie. You can't name your child Thesis. Anakin: But Theseus is historical domain name. It's just a modificati- Padme: No. Anakin: Then- Padme: No. No Dichotomy either. Anakin: My the jedi were right about attachments...

[@wanderlustwarrior]

To be honest the Jedi Council under Yoda sounds so toxic to each other that Mace and Anakin might have one of the healthiest connections. So long as a certain thesis isn't involved.

[@stretopovermind9680]

- your name will be Darth... - How long will it take? It will take around 28 years.

[@slenderminion2229]

I like to think that at the very end of Return of the Jedi Palpatine accidentally triggers Vader to recite his thesis yet again, which he since lengthened to 3 full hours due to newfound insights, prompting Palpatine to decide this entire thing just isn't worth it anymore and jump down the reactor shaft himself. Leaving Vader confused as to why this keeps happening to him.

[@alexxx4434]

1:36 That comedic pause with still expressions is gold

[@guest4320]

I like the quick "The Jedi are taking over!" from Palpatine, to try and steer it back. As they completely ignore him.

[@clockworkdeity]

I love this series so much.

[@dirdib69]

Anakin is so stupid you just have to love him. Until he starts talking about his thesis again, of course.

[@johnanthony4961]

Obi-wan: I saw a security hologram of him…..reading his unabridged thesis to younglings

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

You can't fix Yoga. He's too far gone. And calling me Vader had to be an insult.

[@zachryder3150]

1:53 Oh boy, do I love continuity in meme channels.

[@christophershirk6482]

There is a lot of strong competition among these, but I think this is the best one yet. I laughed so hard during the sith code segment. I had tears.

[@Chives1797]

Palpatine always trying to stick to the script is probably my favourite running joke

[@Just-Ice262]

I feel like palpatine is taking so long because if he calls him Darth thesis another century will go by in that room lmfao

[@bipolarbear7337]

"Henceforth, you shall be known as, Darth... Thesis!"

[@mslim8412]

I love the subtle hum of the light saber. It punctuates the awkward silence perfectly.

[@hendrikgreiner8449]

Having cocaine bricks in the council chambers to pacify Yoda while cleaning out his needles are so smart. Also, they can be used to throw a, well, bricks!

[@davidwuhrer6704]

Cocaine to calm someone seems … paradoxical.

[@hendrikgreiner8449]

@@davidwuhrer6704 Who knows how Yodas physiology works!

[@ethannot-apastafarian4123]

3:11 WE’RE GETTING IT, WE’RE FINALLY GETTING IT🎉🎉🎉

[@LoneWanderer101]

Palpatine: Time to execute order 66... (Palpatine then remotely plays a full recording of Anakin's Thesis on the Jedi Temple intercom)

[@based_mouse]

sometimes we do a little self-sabotage

[@mattiasolofsson9437]

Especially for those who read the Plageis novel and know who Hego Damask. 😉

[@thecommunard4539]

“but that’ll complicate it when people cite my works” made me burst out laughing omg 😭

[@blingblay]

The empty pauses where you can only hear the lightsabers humming is fucking gold

[@JammingNights]

3:01 EY HE ASKED ANAKIN ABOUT THE THESIS LOL

[@StevenZissimos]

Palpatine must be truly powerful to be able to hear Anakin's thesis in full. What a feat.

[@MM-xn6tn]

It's nice that Mace can put aside his own dislike of Anakin when the subject of Yoda's drug addiction comes up.

[@Historyfrek4ever]

I am surprised Palpatin didn’t follow Mace’s example.

[@NyxSakura]

Cause fear and pain makes you stronger into the dark side of the force. And holy Force, did Palpatine go through a lot of pain while hearing the thesis, he is now scarred for life. That's how he became so strong.

[@mattiasolofsson9437]

He will (in episode 6 😉).

[@CountDVB]

I love how when he says finally, you can hear the unspoken "fuckin' that comes right before it.

[@EST283]

Henceforth, you shall be known as DARTH THESIS

[@MegaKnight2012]

They're is something so darn funny about someone's group being accused of taking over and they're like, "Awesome, finally! It's what I wanted to do!"

[@taufanaugusta8884]

Darth... Thesius

[@Jaxymann]

Palpatine repeatedly saying “The Jedi are taking over!” like a video game NPC who gets interrupted saying dialogue is gold😂

[@monsterno.definablenever.3484]

Darth Thesis is going to be an ABSOLUTE MENACE to the rebellion. When his son truly begins to understand it, that's when he has his redemption.

[@articery]

this is quite possibly the best abridged series of any content ever