Anakin has a doctorate in Darth Plageius the Wise Studies

Palpatine discovers Anakin has not only heard the Tragedy of Darth Plageius the Wise, but is a well-renowned expert on the topic.
If you like the work I do, then why not strike me with dollars folded into throwing stars?: / membership
The voices are AI generated (with significant editing by me to make them sound the way I envision for the delivery.)
The images are screenshots taken from Revenge of the Sith, with captions added using Imgflip.
The script was written by me.
Also, fuck, just so KZbin will hopefully not flag this video as for children.

[@xkali8119]

But how can one have a doctorate, and not be a master? This is outrageous, this is unfair!

[@arduous222]

Take a seat, Dr. Skywalker.

[@L0L246]

In this universe, he is a master and they're there to celebrate instead of console. Many would agree that this shows a stark contrast to the original version of the story. Where as the original was a study of the unfairness of the system, the new version brings up the question of whether the system could be more fair and answers it. Of course, this is second to the real reason that the story is so great. The fact that you're still reading this and have infact wasted your time.

[@InvertedGigachad]

@@arduous222 I laughed way too much at this

[@aBlackVixen]

They don’t trust your research goals, Anakin…

[@adamdymke8004]

It depends on the academic system. In some of the Commonwealth nations you can substitute a Honours degree (First class) for the Masters requirement to enter a PhD.

[@jamie_youtube_]

"Ah apologies, that typically gets a laugh in the academic circles" is my new go to response whenever a joke doesn't land

[@u.v.s.5583]

Your wife and child are gonna die unless you join the dark side.

[@warlordofbritannia]

Jokes on you, I was already saying that! That typically goes over better in academic circles, sorry

[@garethmcguinness377]

Palpatine not recognizing French - "je ne sais quoi" - because it's not a galactic language is fantastic writing lmao

[@zorinus3340]

I cackled at that

[@ztigerclaw8882]

This was my favorite joke out of all of this video

[@treoui8739]

Je ne sais quoi

[@garethmcguinness377]

@@treoui8739 appreciate that thank you my guy

[@u.v.s.5583]

Voguish persons tend to understand the meaning of je ne sais quoi!

[@carlireland5049]

I love the idea that Mace Windu relentlessly mocks Darth Plageius’s apprentice to everyone who sets foot in the Jedi Temple.

[@Kakarot64.]

"I've had it with these mother fkin Siths on this mother fkin city planet" -Mace Windu

[@RibusPQR]

Darth Pelagius, enemy of Jedi Augustine of Hippo

[@namedrop721]

Midichlorians, can you use them, motherfucker?

[@mopanda81]

That’s why sheev threw him out the window

[@mopanda81]

⁠The arch nemesis of Darth Plageius the Wise was the revered Jedi Master Hygieia the Fool who famously died at the age of 27 when he fell asleep in front of a deep dish pizza and drowned to death.

[@lonecolamarine]

I like how Anakin gets louder every time he’s interrupted. Like, he’s still got that classic temper but now only uses it to correct people.

[@ano_nym]

We need one were Obi Wan is the opponent during his thesis presentation.

[@irondroid2894]

Reminds me of Neil deGrasse Tyson

[@pineapplequeen13]

​@@ano_nymI think Obi-Wan being his debate partner is what made him like this lol.

[@Theology.101]

he’s a real literature doctor

[@blueskieswaiting]

Now thats how how defend a thesis

[@San-nj8fj]

“That usually gets a laugh in the academic circles” I love how that line implies that Anakin constantly attends to university lectures and gatherings full of professors and doctors in sith literature, to the point that he’s forgotten how a regular person reacts to his observations about the Tragedy of Darth Plageius the Wise

[@BookishEmperor]

That's probably where he spends most of his time to avoid Yoda and Obi-Wan bullying him

[@claudius3359]

Canonically,there IS a faculty that studies the force.A former lecturer on the studies of the dark side was kicked out after the empire took over and then was recruited to the Crimson Dawn.

[@danielvarela6259]

Poor Padme

[@tomasmen830]

Ahsoka probably had to hear so many drafts, poor girl

[@chahehkouadio5166]

I like how Palpatine tries to continue his original lines but gets interrupted

[@Death2all546]

Personally, I prefer the side remarks. “How much did they spend for you to go to college? - I just checked, 100,00 credits - Per semester” “Wait a minute, how could he have told you this story before it happened?”

[@deutscherhanfverbandfan879]

​@Death2all546 "For a story about 100 words long. Money well spent, clearly." Been some time since I laughed this hard because of a KZbin video.

[@FerutElCampeador]

I crack hard when Anakin mentions the different schools of thought and Palpatine is not believing anything

[@drewzero1]

"This conversation should have been a minute long ... Maybe 2, tops!"

[@frandurrieu6477]

​@@deutscherhanfverbandfan879That and the timeline ones

[@drany6707]

Do one where Anakin is just trying to watch the opera theater and getting annoyed at Palpatine talking over it

[@alpyki2588]

"Did you ever hear about the tragedy of Darth Plagius the Wise?" "Right now I'm trying to hear about the tragedy of Darth MacBeth the easily led astray now leave me the f- alone."

[@RosaFriend]

​@@alpyki2588You can't say his name in a theater! You have to say the Kashyyyk play!

[@Razgar_Voxel]

DEW IT!

[@curtisleblanc5897]

YES PLS

[@Lucifronz]

Oh, that's good.

[@KahavaveCAPIPI]

Look, the Jedi finally realized that Anakin was never gonna learn proper meditation. But they did realize something about. As a child, living in a hole, he built an incredibly capable droid and pod racer out of a pile of scraps. The kid may not have been suited to meditation, but by the force was he an absolute irredeemable nerd. If they couldn't keep him from falling by pondering the light, they'd get him to spend literal years thinking on how absolutely stupid the Sith are.

[@Radiodragonofdoom]

Obi-Wan: Master Yoda, I worry that my Padawan is at risk of falling to the dark side. Yoda: Hmmm... Then instruct him, we shall, in an ancient art of the Jedi. Insufferable, he shall become, to any Sith Lord trying to tempt him. Obi-Wan: What is the name of this technique, master? Yoda: Literary Criticism.

[@aaronmarks9366]

​@@RadiodragonofdoomBrilliant

[@Oath_Of_The_Ancients]

autism

[@ziephel-6780]

​@@Radiodragonofdoom This actually could be something I can see the Jedi do. I mean Yoda did the same to Luke in Dagobah, he knows his shit XD

[@gorgit]

They totally should have focused on anakins nerd tendency. You cant join the dark side to save your wife, if you never had a wife in the first place.

[@danimation210]

“Welcome to your Jedi Training. Your first task is to listen to what a cataclysmic fuck-up this one guy’s apprentice was.”

[@FrostyGerardo-kr7xs]

Remember Younglings. there are evil sith. But as the next story tells You they are little bicshes

[@littlebigb5370]

This reads exactly like a Samuel L. Jackson line.

[@mr.voidroy6869]

A sith btw. Btw the jedi know Palpatine is force sensentive. It isnt a secret...

[@gazelle_diamond9768]

@@stupich5868 How did he explain it before it happened? The story of Darth Plageius happened a long time ago.

[@gazelle_diamond9768]

@@stupich5868 What makes you think he explained that?

[@theex-authoritarian3745]

"no..... that...seems far-fetched" he says as his plan contiues to backfire in his face.

[@chazo1367]

He was looking at literally a decade of planning going down the drain because Anakin is a huge nerd in this version lol

[@theex-authoritarian3745]

@@chazo1367 Right.🤣 Absolutely had me rolling the first time I watched it.

[@leaffinite2001]

Im surprised there arent more comments about that twist because its the funniest part imo

[@dr.veronica6155]

Palpatine saying "I'm considering inviting death myself" suggests that if Anakin had simply continued to overanalyze the Tragedy of Darth Plageius the Wise without giving the Chancellor an opportunity to leave, he could have saved the entire galaxy by just annoying Palpatine so much that he killed himself to escape Anakin trying to sound smart.

[@DabroodThompson]

Lets not be churlish now, Anakin wasn't trying to sound smart, he was just very passionate about his particular field of study.

[@sialraya]

But therein lies the paradox of the student of Darth plageius using the threat of death (of padme) to seduce Anakin to join him, only for him to be struck by his own sword (sabre) because of Anakin's obsession with the tale of palpatine's former master would end up causing him to want to kill himself This is of course, a surface exploration into the deeper themes of this narrative....

[@radioactiveassassin5218]

Thus fulfilling his destiny

[@thebaronlouis8619]

Ironic

[@masku3205]

Thx bro

[@coconoisette]

You captured so perfectly the spirit of an academic that will talk about his subject of choice and literally NOTHING else so well

[@Coffee-hj5di]

So true! Literally my thoughts were, “huh, this was literally just me when I was explaining to my family my analysis of Shin Godzilla”

[@bretginn1419]

@@Coffee-hj5di Oh God, I've done the same for Godzilla and Ultraman. And don't get me started on the Xeno series, Ghost in the Shell, Panzer Dragoon, Alan Wake and the Remedyverse, House of Leaves. Essays about something I like may as well be a hobby of mine.

[@cleverman383]

@@Coffee-hj5di what do you suppose was the effect of using Evangelion music in Shin Godzilla?

[@carlosdgutierrez6570]

As someone with a PhD in a STEM branch and working in research, yes, there are so many doctors who love the sound of their own voices and the smell of their own farts that just can't shut up about their "life's work". The older they get, the worse they become. I expend a lot of effort keeping my self awareness sharp to not fall in that horrendous custom.

[@dustinnabil798]

​@@carlosdgutierrez6570I thanks you for your effort

[@heckinmemes6430]

I know this was meant in jest but "By wishing for something to be over sooner, do we not wish death closer?" stands out.

[@Navak_]

Sounds very Shakespearean to me

[@cyberninjazero5659]

Unfortunately because he did his Jedi Thesis on a Sith Legend, he was denied his Jedi Masters. You see it's an open secret that the deciding factor of a thesis defense is whether or not you and your subject are liked by the advisor and poor Anakin had Obi-Wan in that position.

[@FishfaceTheDestroyer]

That's outrageous. It's unfair, how can you write a Jedi thesis and not get your Masters

[@dragondan244]

"Take your diploma young skywalker"

[@Knuckles2761]

He just did it better than Windu. That's why he was denied.

[@cyberninjazero5659]

@@Knuckles2761 Now I'm thinking of a skit in the Palpatine scene where Windu asks Palpatine why the Sith tell that Legend, and he just admits it's to get new apprentices pissing Windu off because that settles the Academic debate with Anakin being right

[@Kytseo]

To be honest, parody aside, if this was actually the case, he really should've gotten the Masters. Know your enemy, as they say, and he would've studied Darth Plagueis The Wise thoroughly.

[@SlayerOfTears]

You know what's funny? Even if this version of Anakin did join the Dark Side, he probably wouldn't succumb to it like in canon, and probably instead write a thesis on it. In turn, instead of attacking the Jedi Temple and killing everyone there, he'd probably bring his newfound thesis to the Jedi Council and have them debate him on it.

[@jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets]

Except for Yoda, who wouldn't be interested in this nerdy shit and would instead go snort space coke off Aayla Secura's stomach.

[@syndura]

​@@jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets to be honest...Even I would rather snort space coke off Aayla Secura's Stomach and I'm not even gay...but she is kinda hot...

[@lemax6865]

@@jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets A waste of my time, this shit is! Coke, I could be doing, Sith ass I could be whooping! Too much, the smell of your own farts you enjoy, young Skywalker.

[@dagoonite]

To be fair, you'd do the same as Yoda. @@jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets

[@TheJokerAkaCirque]

many of the Jedi may have favored betrayal and murder over having to listen to the thesis

[@haelww1]

"Such a lens, when applied to the story of Darth Plageius the Wise, is typically referred to as the paradoxical or tautological school of thought; wherein the themes are thought to be ouroboric in nature" is just top notch academical sentence. I strongly applaud.

[@GFXCXZ]

The irony of palp grilling anakin as over analyzing his story but in actuality uses it to crack the actual meaning of it and Palpatine's immediate intent and plan is great. Anakin comes off as he is legit really interested in the tale and not just being overly verbose for a gag alone.

[@TheBlackSeraph]

In many ways this makes more sense than how Palpatine corrupted Anakin in the movie.

[@tobybartels8426]

Yes, even the meta-narrative is underpinned with the continued use of dichotomy.

[@octoling6347]

@@TheBlackSeraph That'd be incredibly poetic, that Anakin, instead of being swindled into the dark side by the threat of losing some kitty, becomes genuinely seduced by the dark side itself. And in spite of being very much aware of the pretentious approach that Palpatine was making for him, his fall into darkness came from the allure of finding out more about the story that he has devoted his life's work to, and not to mention to learn the finer details from the very last surviving participant of it! Frankly, Anakin immediately agreeing to join the dark side in this bit is obviously done as a gag, but this is quite realisticaly what a passionate academic would do if offered such a proposition. Also, I think it'd be very interesting if the Big Bad Guy, who walks around in a loud-ass, eery-sounding breathing mask and is bigger than every other person he ever crosses, turned out to be, from the heart, a fucking bookworm.

[@shonen_x_trash2488]

Anakin also does a really good job at showing off how these pretentious ivory tower "intellectuals" waste their lives and minds sniffing their own farts. I died laughing when in the middle Palps is checking on the cost of college to the state in the middle of the breakdown.

[@zhop951]

@@shonen_x_trash2488 I... don't think that's the intended takeaway. That funding allowed Anakin to pursue a passion project, not every project has to directly benefit society, but this one *almost* did as it almost revealed Palpatine's plans. That being said, art is subjective (including memes), if your takeaway is college intellectuals are wasting their time, I can't easily change your opinion.

[@simonp.5964]

Palpatine five minutes later: "Master Yoda, have you ever heard of cocaine?" Yoda: "For real, you are??"

[@ShadSpark]

"Like asking Anakin if he's heard the tradegy of Darth Plagueis the Wise, that is."

[@FreedomIII]

"MmMMMmmm, like some, would you?"

[@Windfoxm]

"Know a guy, I do."

[@chrislanglois8275]

No wonder his dark side self looked so strung out, its also his addiction being contained with well enough to b somewhat secret. 😂😝

[@CaiusCosades44]

The original joke was ketamine, cocaine isn’t as funny.

[@Pseudoku_RL]

Is it possible to enjoy an opera in peace? "Not... With a Jedi"

[@VestinVestin]

Vader: _"Luke, come with me, and I will complete your training..."_ Luke: _"I'll never join you!"_ Vader: _"That's disappointingly close-minded of you. When I was your age, I... Oh, have you ever heard the Tragedy of Darth Plageius the Wise?"_

[@Raine749]

Luke:uh what?

[@VestinVestin]

​@@Raine749 Vader: _"I thought not. It would appear that education standards have dropped sharply since my days... Obi-Wan never told you..."_ Luke: _"He told me enough!"_ Vader: _"Well, I beg to differ..."_

[@ryanhodin5014]

Palpatine: "Oh no, not again...." Cut to ten minutes later, Luke and Vader are having a spirited debate about the role of the midichlorians in the Tale as they completely don't even notice the Emperor voluntarily leap off the railing beside them to his death

[@davidalejandrogomezfernand2730]

Like father, like son​@@ryanhodin5014

[@ZGlove.]

​@@ryanhodin5014*plays LEGO Emperor death sound*

[@GuyMaleMan]

You can really tell Anakin studied is a great scholar because it took him 5 minutes to explain something that could be summarized in three sentences

[@drchilapastrosodrlasmacas438]

Gender studies majors ❤😂

[@jrcspiderman2003]

Apparently I'm a great scholar of literally everything I enjoy then, from the Remedy-verse, to the convoluted-ass fnaf lore, because I do the exact same thing 😂

[@Anotherhumanbean12345]

prove it

[@alexthedemon2203]

@@drchilapastrosodrlasmacas438 Lmao

[@Jikkuryuu]

@@jrcspiderman2003 For a moment I was excited to learn about the greater universe of Princess Remedy. The games are just the right kind of weird for that to exist.

[@PixlPlayer]

My favorite part is that if you listen to what Anakin is saying it’s actually a good analysis of the overall story and it’s parallels to revenge of the sith

[@buddermonger2000]

I'm not good enough with literary analysis to understand that

[@DParkerNunya]

​@@buddermonger2000 You see, it's all about the dichotomy

[@Lasse3]

Yeah it all made sense, even if it was quite the dichotomy

[@keatongoering3599]

You nerd

[@iintocomedian]

​@buddermonger2000 Probably something about how Anakin in ROTS made every desicion to save Padme but in the end, it led to her death. Like Plaguies everything he did was to become immortal and gain power to escape death but it led to his apprentice killing him anyway Im something of an anakin myslef in analysing Star wars lore

[@somthinorother320]

I'm proud of Anakin for using his benefits from fighting in the Clone Wars to get a doctorate. Truly inspiring.

[@mopanda81]

the Jedi GI bill was one of the greatest achievements of the republic it would also be its greatest downfall…

[@vladpiranha]

"Hurry up and wait", as they say. Military service will give you lots of reading time, especially when constantly traveling to different systems.

[@warlordofbritannia]

@@mopanda81 In hindsight, the lobbying of the Kuat Drive Yards for that bill should have been taken as an ominous sign…

[@mopanda81]

@@warlordofbritannia Look it's hard to get any legislation passed in the galactic senate and sometimes you gotta throw a little pork the way of some core world senator's home district.

[@warlordofbritannia]

@@mopanda81 Oh, I’m not condemning the bill itself, more like the way it’s been put into practice for the past forty or so years. People like to blame Sheev, but the issues really started when Supreme Chancellor Reegen began dismantling the Ruusan Reforms and favoring the megacorps.

[@alexandrostheodorou8387]

The fear when palpatine says “you dont know who the aprentice is do you?” Is just the cherry on top.

[@jakandaxter1]

In my view, that was the moment he realized that Anakin actually had no idea who he was sitting next to. Though, admittedly, my theory remains on the outskirts of mainstream academic thought.

[@alexandrostheodorou8387]

@@jakandaxter1 This comment deserves a thousand likes! At least in my academic school of thought.

[@carlosemilio5180]

​@@jakandaxter1thank you jakandaxter1, a video game by the studio naughty dog, who would later make uncharted and a game about a little girl with a guitar

[@flygonkerel781]

it's even hilarious when you consider this line by anakin: "It's my personal opinion that the story isn't actually a mere fanciful tale nor even a sober recounting of historical events despite the scholarly consensus tending toward the former. I believe the tale is actually intended to be utilized by The Apprentice of the titular Darth Plagueis the Wise, now seeking his own Apprentice, utilizing the demise of his master."

[@flygonkerel781]

what's ironic is that anakin basically knows who the apprentice is, but hasnt realized it."I believe the tale is actually intended to be utilized by The Apprentice of the titular Darth Plagueis the Wise, now seeking his own Apprentice, utilizing the demise of his master."@@jakandaxter1

[@shyguypro9876]

The "Money well spent, clearly" nearly killed me. Holy shit.

[@drchilapastrosodrlasmacas438]

😂 100,000 credits, a term ❤

[@seekingabsolution1907]

In their defense. He was right on the cusp of uncovering that Palpatine was a sith lord because of that education, so yeah, not a bad education.

[@theconfessor2428]

At this point the separatists did nothing wrong.

[@KeeperOfTheSevenKeys.]

Same lmao.

[@SilverAlex92]

@@seekingabsolution1907 Yeah xD I lost it when Anakin said he thought the story was meant to be used by the apprentice. Palpatine almost shat himself there xD

[@magnawaves]

PLEASE, PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, do the scene where Vader is in his suit for the first time and Palpatine asks if he can hear him, do that as a continuation of this. I NEED to hear Vader spouting off platitudes about the narrative depth of Plagueis's life more than you know

[@anxiousearth680]

Seconded! Pretty please!

[@epsteindidntkillhimself69]

Thirded.

[@yigitorhan7654]

Fourthed With 4 likes at the time of edit

[@felixmakesart]

I just Fifthed all over this comment.

[@Heavy-TF2]

@@felixmakesartIt’s Sixin’ Time

[@JordanLewis82]

This is golden. Anakin sounds exactly like a philosophy undergrad who just read about critical theory for the first time.

[@drchilapastrosodrlasmacas438]

I had a UCLA major in philosophy with a Minor in gender studies watch Requiem for a dream with me, and this bafoon was literally doing what Anakin was doing in this sketch, but blaming capitalism and calling it the American dream, racism and gender roles 😂

[@wombatjack3995]

@@drchilapastrosodrlasmacas438 i hope to one day fuck up my life so badly i end up anywhere near the proximity of letting that scenario unfold

[@heek40]

More like an English Literature major.

[@JeanLucCaptain]

Money well spent 🤣

[@andrewwinslow9315]

​@@drchilapastrosodrlasmacas438Time for her to watch Trainspotting, starring our Boy Ewan McGregor. Similar plot to RFAD, but more gritty and Lower Class.

[@thefrogthatknows5251]

I love that when Palpatine tries to interrupt him to get him to back off, or actively asks him to stop, he just gets louder, as if he's been desperate to talk about this and is not going to take no for an answer.

[@nathanpierce7681]

that's so anakin of him tbh

[@RannXXV]

@@nathanpierce7681 I mean yeah it's so Anakin but it's also just your average literature major

[@theviniso]

I love that as well. It's so well written.

[@PhoenixT70]

@@nathanpierce7681Nah, that’s how academics are. I’m an academic, so I would know.

[@EliSkylander]

Typical college student.

[@toffee6701]

"A hundred thousand credits." "Per term." "Money well spent, clearly."

[@Echo_Online]

I love how the central theme of Anakin's jedi thesis match his black and white way of viewing the world

[@VestinVestin]

It's ironic how "dichotomy" might sound sophisticated to people, and yet is precisely the segregation into two distinct categories... Something overwhelmingly lacking nuance.

[@learner-long-life]

If only he knew that most of the truths we cling to depend on a certain point of view

[@Vaksharules1999]

​@@learner-long-lifeIndeed, point of view can determine how we see objective reality and tint it into other realities defined by our own biases. For example, saying a senator is evil, or the Jedi order is evil.

[@internetjerk2839]

That pause when Palpatine realizes Anakin studied his Master's death so thoroughly Anakin actually predicted his plan to tempt Anakin to the dark side

[@jollyrogerwilco]

Yes! And then Palp just bald-faces it at the end when he realizes that Anakin’s thinking was only academic and he wasn’t actually smart enough to avoid being manipulated through a simple lie.

[@xCorvus7x]

And in the end Anakin agrees to it readily. In spite of all his studying he learned nothing.

[@grimoirebuilder]

Ironic

[@deiansalazar140]

​@@xCorvus7xpoetic actually from a historian's point of view

[@friedchicken8440]

Even though Anakin dedicated his life to studying Plagueis' tragedy, he was unable to stop the same apprentice who betrayed his master from bringing about his own downfall. It's ironic, ouroboric even.

[@GalakStari]

“Wait, how did Master Windu tell you the story before it happened?” Oh my gosh, that’s right! Plagueis was still alive until near the end of Episode One, or at least in the original canon. The fact that Mace knew the story can only mean one thing. I think Master Windu is a Sith Lord.

[@cockatoo010]

A sith lawd?

[@GalakStari]

@@cockatoo010Yes. The one we’ve been looking for.

[@maharisha594]

on the contrary, it can mean only one thing: Invasion!

[@GalakStari]

⁠@@maharisha594Aha! Good one! 😂

[@ronaldgarner9057]

“The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.” is a thesis written by... oh, no! Mace Windu!

[@_Bread-_-]

I love how based on this, and the following videos in the series: Mace Windu was the one who inspired Anakin to write his thesis, which to this day Mace absolutely despises any mention of.

[@tainoman7905]

This is literally the smartest Anakin in a multiverse of Anakins. A great Academic, a great pilot, a great fighter, a great general, a great teacher, and a good friend.

[@neoterumi4772]

And he was a good friend.

[@sirjanska9575]

And a poor conversational partner

[@mopanda81]

The smartest Anakin got his degree in something actually useful like culinary science.

[@sirjanska9575]

@@mopanda81 The study of texts, stories and social phenomena contextualizes human culture and action. It may not create immediate financial profit, yet it advances knowledge and understanding and thus provides perspective on the meanings of the human condition. While not all social research is of great quality (the academia is a battleground of varied and competing opinions after all), the underlying curiosity and hunger for wisdom is what distinguishes us from beings such as machines and ants. Therefore downplaying the inherent value of humanistic and social research in my honest opinion is, for the sake of a narrow-minded, visionless and ambitionless utility thinking, equally downplaying the capabilities and potential which makes us distinctly human.

[@mopanda81]

@@sirjanska9575 Could I list you as a reference on my job application because this hiring director believes I'm unqualified.

[@azzy4781]

Anakin's thesis on the short tale that is "The tragedy of Darth Plageius the wise" is truly profound. To think that the Plageius was capable of influencing midichlorians through the use of other midichlorians provides an opportunity for study in the midichlorian-biological field.

[@diamondgirl7377]

well, that's the lynchpin of one of the mainstream schools of thought. But its not really meant to be take literally

[@buddermonger2000]

​@diamondgirl7377 Well no this is incredibly useful information. While possibly banned by Jedi scientists in future, this is a revelation that allows us to understand that the midi-chlorians are not all uniform in nature and that there may be conflicts between them. As students of the force classics, this opens a whole new field to study regarding them. Perhaps future force studies students can study them in greater depth and gain a greater understanding of the force. Communing with the current mystics in charge of the field to compare data.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

​​@@buddermonger2000 As I see it, most Midichlorians have something of a socially engineered false dichotomy that keeps them divided. The ideas of Midichlorian Karl Marx have lead to Midicommunism, while the ideas of, best as we can tell, an invisible hand, which is of particular note as the midichlorians are quite familiar with such manipulators, have lead to Midicapitalism. However, the Midicommunists and Midicapitalists both seem to have some sort of superweapon, that makes them hesitant to directly oppose eachother. Instead, these midichlorians control other midichlorians to battle in their stead in a midicold war; these very forces are theorized to be the source of Darth Plagueius the Wise's power.

[@k0valus585]

I myself am a midichlorian biologist. I've overseen some of the experiments studying the activity between midichlorians (sponsored by the Jedi Temple) and have discovered that, through careful manipulation of midichlorians, you can essentially bring vitality back to damaged tissues of various species throughout the galaxy. Of course, due to the First Law of Thermodynamics, matter cannot be created or destroyed. This means that in order to perform this advanced technique, one must transfer one's own matter to the recipient. There, the midichlorians within the receiver reconfigure this energy and matter, and use it to rebuild damaged structures at a heightened rate. Many have thought in the past that this was inherently used by Sith, but later study revealed that the interactions between midichlorians seen were balanced between the donor and the recipient, meaning that both the cost for one and the gain for the other cancelled. The Jedi Council is right now approving this technique for use among Jedi Masters, and I hope to receive a scientific grant in the near future.

[@meganofsherwood3665]

​@@k0valus585 *slow clap* As someone who studied cell bio in undergrad and may or may not have tried to come up with a comprehensive, biologically accurate midichlorian theory...this warms my heart

[@owenchafer1083]

Palpatine at the next budget meeting: Master Yoda, have you ever heard of cocaine? Yoda: For real, you are!? Like asking young Skywalker about Darth Plaguis, that is.

[@TFSMF2]

I can't explain how much this feels like a Monty python sketch

[@PlebNC]

Palpatine: "And now for something completely different." Cuts to footage of Alderaan exploding.

[@andrewpestotnik5495]

​@@PlebNCStrange Sith Lords promising eternal life is no basis for a form of thought

[@arduous222]

Like the constitutional peasants?

[@andrewpestotnik5495]

@@arduous222 I told you, we're an Anarcho-Syndinchalist Commune!

[@Biscotum]

It's the way they interrupt/talk over each other. Monty Python's delivery was all about that kind of thing.

[@thebugmonster38]

Sir I cannot tell you how reliably funny this is. Every single time I listen to it. I paused my game when this somehow, inexplicably showed up while KZbin was shuffling music and listened to this on repeat for 5 times nearly coming to almost pissing myself with laughter. This and every star wars related one you've done are outrageous in their scripting and I am so eager to see what else you put out. Each and every script has genuinely not only made me laugh, but made me cry laugh to the point where I was wheezing. Thank you so much

[@sealsaregood5146]

I'm really happy you enjoy them! :)

[@LTV746]

Completely agree

[@FieryHammer]

I actually really loved the detail of Palpatine pondering of how Windu told Anakin this story when it hadn't happened yet or how Anakin had time to study this extensively while he should have been at war.

[@cockatoo010]

I mean... War is boring as fuck. There's a lot of dead time

[@nullpoint3346]

@@cockatoo010 Yup. A lot of writings from the down time.

[@horsemumbler1]

Future-vision, obviously.

[@Gatman__92]

But it did right? Darth Plaguies was killed by Sidious the night before Palpatine was sworn into office as Chancellor which happened at the end of Ep 1, which is the start of Anakin's training in the Temple

[@ProtoKun7]

It happened before Anakin even became a Padawan, and the Clone Wars didn't begin for another decade.

[@Comkill117]

“Fortunately, he was spared the tragedy of listening to this.”

[@oolooo]

Since Plagueis was killed by Sidious , like , right after the latter was elected Chancellor and Anakin arrived at the Jedi Temple days before that , this implies that the story of this secret Sith's Life and Death is told by all Jedi AT LEAST a week before said Death .

[@emeraldpichu1]

Yoda’s habit of indulging in white powder, allows him to see the future. How else do they keep afoot on the Sith’s plan if they haven’t been seen in 1000 years after all.

[@TheBurningWarrior]

They are clairvoyant psychic warriors after all; who knows how long Mace had seen it coming.

[@ghosty918]

Right before his election actually. He killed Plagueis shortly before Episode 1 begins. Old Plaguey wouldnt have allowed his apprentice to become Chancellor Windu probably came straight from the funeral to tell Anakin all about it

[@Lernos1]

@@ghosty918 Umm, what? Palpatine killed Plagueis during the night of celebration *the day before* Palpatine became Chancellor, which was *what they were celebrating* and what Plagueis had actually been *nudging Palpatine to become.* This happens *well into Episode 1* and right after young Anakin and co. leave Coruscant for the final battle of Naboo.

[@potatoheadpokemario1931]

Maybe he meant after he was officially in the Jedi order, plaugus died by the end of the episode I believe

[@johnsayles8032]

I love the turn where Anakin perfectly academically sussed out palpatine's intent, and he is still just blown away by the amount of effort and study Anakin poured into this one story alone.

[@rohanshah7559]

The fact that anakin’s analysis mostly got it right is even funnier

[@thejoabear]

"I've been looking forward to this" No seriously, ever since that video where the top comment asked for a video where Anakin did his Jedi thesis on it, and you responded, I have in fact been looking forward to it.

[@Echo_1773]

same

[@stebbenwolfe]

I love how Palpatine called out the idea of Mace Windu talking about the tragedy day one of Jedi training when Palpatine hadn’t even killed Plagueis yet.

[@MastaDRD]

The Force works in mysterious ways...

[@krixtorei]

Anakin did have glimpses of the future with Padme so it's not entirelly impossible that Windu may have had some aswell.

[@turnerthekilledgamer6995]

@@krixtoreiI think Windu was actually good at sensing shatterpoints, moments in time of great importance to future events, where mildly different actions would result in wildly different futures.

[@theplaguedocta]

@@turnerthekilledgamer6995 Bro forgot to use it fighting Palpatine

[@zephyrerazortail5478]

​@@theplaguedoctaNo, he beat him. Just didn't had any focus on Anakin.

[@alexhodson6342]

😂 that part just past 4:00, the pause and the "No... that seems far-fetched" Oh my god, makes me laugh every time. That was the pay-off moment. And the bit keeps going. 👍

[@TheAussieBlue]

Okay, so, I want a vid where anakin knows EVERYTHING about the clones, order 66, the evil sith manipulation, and that palps was playing both sides through basic logic, asking follow up questions, and actually paying attention. And is actively trying to get recruited anyway cause he thinks palps can save padme. Im probably asking a lot.

[@Ni.61]

…fanfiction….

[@tylerian4648]

Anakin: You can skip the parable, I'm in. Palpatine: What? I haven't even offered you anything to get in on? Anakin: You know... Order 66, training me in the dark side, helping me save Padmé, turning the republic into our personal empire, purging the Jedi... even the younglings, dismantling your puppets calling themselves Separatists... Palpatine: Hold on! Even the what? Anakin: Not important. What's important is I want in. You were Darth Plaguous' apprentice, so you can teach me how to undo death. Palpatine: How... How do you know that? Anakin: ... Palpatine: ... Palpatine: Fine. You're in, but you have to tell me how in this galaxy you figured all that out.

[@Calvin_Coolage]

​@@tylerian4648I like the idea that randomly bringing up the younglings is something that makes Palpamemes go 'wait what?'

[@Name.she-her-hers]

@@Calvin_Coolage agreed

[@yoda3341]

​@@Calvin_Coolageeven Palpatine is concerned about Anakin being willing to murder children without a second thought

[@jlakes6544]

Should do a "Anakin just wants to watch the theatre" episode next lmao

[@perishsoftly6418]

Or even Anakin being the one to ask and tell the tale, while Palpatine is just stunned into silence.

[@itchweeed47]

Palpatine: Have you ever head the Tragedy of Darth Plaguise the Wise? Anakin: Bitch, I edit the Wiki.

[@requiem6465]

I love the sheer disbelief in Palpatines voice at 'scholary consensus'

[@athanaseruisseau7784]

Got me hard.

[@athanaseruisseau7784]

Got me hard.

[@ajoajoajoaj]

Fun fact: in the original novelization of Return of the Jedi (the original trilogy novelizations being adapted from earlier drafts of the film scripts), instead of saying "you no longer need those" to force-open Luke's shackles, Palpatine says _noblesse oblige_ ("nobility demands it"). This implies that not only did French exist in some translation equivalent relation to Basic/English in some form, but that Palpatine knew it in contrast to what this video suggests.

[@KARKATELCESARENVIADODESA-pv4yd]

This video really woke up that one obscure ass bit of Star Wars details in your mind

[@starkstruckus]

I could see Naboo's language basically being French and given that Palpatine is from there, he'd know it

[@KARKATELCESARENVIADODESA-pv4yd]

@@starkstruckus I wonder what Tatooine's native would be... (trollface)

[@livootherworld5756]

How about the Twilek they have a frech accent.​@@starkstruckus

[@starkstruckus]

@@KARKATELCESARENVIADODESA-pv4yd mfer really put (trollface) in 2024💀

[@dylanmathieson-dodd3404]

At this point, Palpatine realised that the Jedi had known who he was all along. They just didn't care enough to act on it.

[@00110000]

Concept: 9/10 Execution: 69,420/10 Bro you nailed it. Funniest thing I've seen in a while. My favorite is Anakin not getting the 4th wall Windu jabs. So fucking good lmao

[@mm39607]

I imagine the scholars in the Jedi council be like "That Anakin boy really knocked it out of the park with his thesis. Hopefully he learnt the consequences and the literal message of it, and from now on will be extremely devoted to the Jedi order. Yes. What a fine young man".

[@HSuper_Lee]

Ah, the true pitfall of education. When you have learned so well to see the horizon, you sometimes miss the fact there's a pit you're about to fall into.

[@mm39607]

@@HSuper_Lee very true

[@_tym3k]

4:08 That silence was loud

[@carlosdgutierrez6570]

I love how Palpatine stays silently shocked (at 4:07) for a few seconds after Anakin correctly predicts his real intentions at 3:55 and then denies such intentions a bit baffled of his completely accurate conclusion. One of the only two moments in the whole salad of academic buzzwords in which Palpatine takes a genuine interest and concern on Anakin's thesis. The other being at 1:22 when he asks concerned if Anakin knows the true identity of Plaeguis apprentice.

[@MorokLeviathan]

Palpatine also showed interest on 0:28: "The Jedi Temple know!? Why haven't I been arrested?" Though that was quite early on during Anakin's 'explanation' so perhaps it doesn't count. Also 3:37 when Palpatine realizes Windu knew of the story before he even killed Plagueis. (EU/Legends timeline wise anyway)

[@friskjidjidoglu7415]

I know Anakin’s thesis is meant to be a joke, but I think it turned out making some sense by accident. I actually enjoyed it.

[@jbellflower83]

I love how near the end he actually got Palpatine to engage for a sec with the midichlorian part. I gotta say, a learn-ed and deep thinking Anakin is something i didnt know i needed. 😂

[@cara-seyun]

and I bet bringing up the schools of thought of the Tragedy would get you tossed out of the council rooms because it would start so many arguments

[@elijahfordsidioticvarietys8770]

I love how Mace’s telling actively mocks Palpatine.

[@SovietReunionYT]

"on a surface pedestrian-level reading" always gets me every time I rewatch.

[@etcetera1995]

Frankly, Sheev, as an English major with a focus on literature and a love of mythology and tragedy, I would be *delighted* to hear Anakin infodump about his thesis!

[@swausgebouwen143]

No way Anakin would've taken palpatine seriously if he knew his name was "Sheev"

[@Specimin6]

Palpatine regretting killing Plagueis so much because now he has to listen to Anakin's view of dichotomy

[@TinySpiny]

I like how no matter Palpatine’s objections, Anakin keeps plowing on with his discussion.

[@emergcon]

It's called a Monolog

[@Banazir-uz9zt]

Anakin would call this "le mort de l'auteur"

[@atigerclaw]

It's not a discussion, it's a dissertation.

[@joelhaggis5054]

Imagine some guy giving you a lecture on the events of your own life.

[@davidwuhrer6704]

When you receive the data Facebook has on you

[@mikasattler2724]

Its worse because he couldn't even object to anything, just sit there and reflect.

[@jjrj8568]

It's not that deep That's not what the story is about

[@fanboy50]

Palpatine: "Normally at this point in the conversation I offer a promising young Jedi to become my apprentice, but honestly five minutes of you in my life is already more than enough."

[@Eltrio2]

3:14) Palpatine reviewing the Jedi's finances regarding Anakin's education is amazing. Really puts into context how entrenched the Jedi were in the Republic. Since they spent somewhere between 800,000 to 1.6 million credits on Anakin's education, I share Palpatine's shock that this hadn't been questioned until NOW. As for how Anakin knew of the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise, I can only deduce that the Plagueis Anakin is talking about is Plagueis the Twi'lek, born 500-ish years before the Mandalorian wars of Revan and not the much more recent Plagueis the Muun. History often repeats itself, and Sith names can't all be original.

[@427Arbok]

The bit where Anakin started guessing Palpy's intent for the legend absolutely had me rolling!

[@danielevensen5539]

I can see why Padmé Amidala liked him so much. I'm feeling a little giddy myself.

[@swausgebouwen143]

Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman were a killer couple, very convincing as lovers.

[@drchilapastrosodrlasmacas438]

He doesn't need to breath and runs his mouth on her bottom lips 😂

[@gabrielboorom2683]

"Oh, Anni, overanalyzing things gets me so wet!"

[@AAurum-yy7rv]

“duality…” 🫦

[@oklafornia3643]

I'm interested in hearing nore about the THRUST of his thesis.

[@Rosie2732]

0:49 "A near miss is as good as fucking up so badly […] writing the sequel trilogy" 😂

[@d.whillmar1740]

The best part of this, Anakin was canonnically intelligent enough to produce all this thinking. If only he had a chance to learn about Plageius around EP1 indeed.

[@danielawesome36]

Apparently, Plagueis died after Episode 1. I don't know the true source. So many people online have said it.

[@Revan-1466]

I think he died during Episode I, shortly after Palpatine became chancellor, from what I remember of the Darth Plagueis novel anyway

[@lemax6865]

Anakin's intellect is more practically-oriented than this, from what we can see of his character in the prequels. This is the "self-indugent intellectual masturbation" kind of intellectualism, Anakin is the "build space-age technology from reclaimed trash" kind.

[@chillinchum]

​@@lemax6865 Perhaps could be compared to a machinist, as opposed to an engineer on a computer designing a hollow sphere?

[@lemax6865]

@@chillinchum Even that engineer is trying to achieve a solution to a practical problem, even though he may be somewhat disconnected from the reality of actually making the parts he requests. This is more like an anthropologist studying the mindset of the engineer and writing a thesis on how the hollow sphere represents the engineer's inner mindset and his dissatisfaction with the results provided by the machinist.

[@Colddirector]

I don’t know what’s funnier about this, the way Anakin raised his voice whenever Palpatine tries to interrupt or how you can almost hear Palps sweating bullets when Anakin unwittingly describes his plot.

[@82dorrin]

2:58 Anakin: Ah, but that's just it, Chancellor! Darth Plagueis sought immortality, yet in so doing invited death! Palpatine: I'm considering inviting death myself... 🤣🤣🤣

[@drewzero1]

I'm in stitches over how Palpatine alternates between wishing he could end the conversation, and trying to continue telling his version of the story.

[@killadasher6158]

Thesis so powerful it could drives Jedi to kill themselves, even the "summarized" version alone tempted The sith lord to suicide

[@expressnumber]

0:10 I like that he drops back into completely being the Chancellor for a sec

[@makato_yuki1523]

I would like this comment but it's at 69 and I will not ruin it.

[@vuvuvu6291]

"Going full Achktually, you are. Never go full Achktually, you should." - Yoda

[@Mr_Fish10]

Tropic Thunder??

[@davidwuhrer6704]

The academy doesn't like it?

[@WarriorofSunlight]

Yoda would be too busy burying his nose in a mound of cocaine to even notice.

[@vuvuvu6291]

​@@Mr_Fish10Kirk 'Yoda' Lazarus

[@samifunges9747]

5:50 bro gave up and chose to be honest

[@theflev-matic4892]

And it worked

[@OzzyOscy]

**Camera cuts to everyone in arena stopping what they're doing and staring**

[@sploofmcsterra4786]

My god this is of incredible quality. Clearly a lot of effort was put into making Anakin's dialogue not just verbose, but as an actual plausible academic analysis of the tale. Having done a thesis and found themselves in Anakin's position, alongside the excellent comedic timing of palpatine, this video was hilarious. And on top of that I totally forgot that the voices were ai-generated. Subbed.

[@weebtrash1146]

The dichotomy of Mace Windu being the greatest hater of Anakin's thesis while also being the one responsible for it is fascinating

[@WillFredward7167]

“…or writing the sequel trilogy.” Icing on the cake, that line was.

[@SovietReunionYT]

Now I want these clips for the sequel trilogy, but it's just Windu retelling the events and roasting all the garbage writing.

[@thetruth45678]

Let's not forget, when Anakin first entered the Jedi Temple, he was 5. Windu is telling this to a toddker. No wonder Anakin became fixated on the story. Trauma like that runs deep.

[@secla_SC]

So Anakin was allowed to get his Doctorate but was denied the rank of Master? Those Jedi deserved their fate.

[@oriontaylor]

“Doctor Skywalker, there are too many of them, what do we do?”

[@davecullins1606]

He should be glad - a doctor is above the rank of master, far above it in fact

[@gabrielboorom2683]

"We allow you to attend Graduation but deny you your diploma, Doctor Anakin Skywalker."

[@Saltylemur]

I love how palpatines protests just get less and less advanced and more impatient.

[@kianvandenberg6364]

Fun fact: Windu knew the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise because has read the Darth Plagueis book!

[@JinKee]

3:37 THIS is why we cloud Master Windu's visions of the future, people! Maul! Keep clouding or he will tell the story of Darth Vader the Lonely.

[@SchoolVideosGoHere]

1:08 The way Palpatine says "What?" to learning what Anakin is devoting his life too. I had to watch this video twice

[@talgoren2246]

You know, the various moments where Palpatine points out how none of this makes any kind of canonical sense, make me think that Anakin was possessed by some kind of trickster being who made this whole lecture just to mess with Palpatine.

[@canpiv09]

That... seems far fetched.

[@ryanhodin5014]

Have you ever heard the comedy of Master Qui-Gon the Troll? It's not a story the Sith would tell you. It's a Jedi legend - Master Qui-Gon was a Jedi Master, so powerful and so uncontrolled that he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create pranks... He had such a knowledge of "The Funni" that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying to avoid his jokes. He taught his apprentice most of what he knew, then pulled his greatest prank by convincing him to "train the boy" as a psychological weapon against the Sith you know as Sheev Palpatine. Ironic - He made others live for his comedy, yet he died for the same.

[@talgoren2246]

@@canpiv09 Well, technically, this is a possession-sue fic that the video creator made for the specific purpose of messing with Palpatine for our amusement. so on a philosophical level, I am correct.

[@AvaiLeon]

@@ryanhodin5014 Is it possible to learn this prank?

[@ryanhodin5014]

@@AvaiLeon Not from a Sith Lord...

[@ToTheNines87368]

I like Anakin also enjoyed the Darth Plageius novel and it’s narrative subtext. 🍷

[@claymenefee6999]

".....What language was that?" Im dying😂

[@danielcesar664]

One from a galaxi far far away

[@seejoshrun1761]

Nah, this Anakin would put a holocron containing 95 theses on why only using one side of the force unnecessarily restricts its dichotomy by the door to the Jedi council chamber.

[@thegoldenfeather5654]

“Hayden, your line is ‘no’.”

[@82dorrin]

Palpatine trying desperately to get his lines in while Anakin shouts over him about irrelevant details is gold. 😂😂

[@mopanda81]

“Irrelevant details”? Clearly you haven’t read Anakin’s thesis if you think the rich metanarrative present in “The Tragedy of Darth Plageius the Wise” is irrelevant to understanding the tale and its meaning.

[@EliTheGleason]

"The use of dichotomy inherent within the tale" is the most wnglish degree thing I've ever read

[@YasugoLiehu]

4:33 Ah, Anakin studied Rylothian in college too.

[@YasugoLiehu]

Watching this again, it hits me that he said “I don't know what” instead of rennaissance, further implying that his time in college was mostly wasted.

[@svenneumann2816]

Anakin overanalysing it is exactly how my teachers wanted me to treat every text.

[@TheJadedJames]

Another element to the irony of Darth Plaguies’ death was that it came as a result of his desire to revoke the Rule of Two. The Rule of Two exists to account for the paradox of the Sith religion in which apprentices are expected to kill masters to ascend the ranks. When there are only two Sith weaker Sith cannot gang up in stronger Sith, weakening the religion as a whole. But also with only two members the religion is inherently weak. Plagueis sought to foster cooperation & trust with his apprentice which was in direct conflict with the ambition inherent in the Sith Code. Though in turn, Sidious became so overconfident that he defied the Rule of Two by attempting to turn Luke Skywalker to the Dark Side, resulting in his death when Vader killed Sidious while he was distracted with torturing Luke. Darth Bane would be furious to learn that this was how his version of the Sith came to an end.

[@seantay3279]

"Somehow, Palpatine Returned"

[@blueguygaming1330]

@@seantay3279lmao right. All of this undone with just one line in episode 9

[@sudanemamimikiki1527]

Sidious didn't defy the rule of two. He was trying to replace vader with luke since vader no longer could surpass him. Also for the folks complaining about vader coming back in disney canon...they literally took that from eu.

[@randomdude6446]

​@@sudanemamimikiki1527They actually bothered to explain how in the EU

[@juniorjunior5884]

Kreia would love to speak with this Anakin.

[@theodoreroosevelt2154]

Instead of becoming a Sith Lord, Anakin becomes an English Teacher. It’s like a Sith Lord but even more fucking insufferable.