The Mac & Cheese Conundrum

[@ShinyNickelBlades]

My mom didn't care, I had to eat what she made and I had to eat all of it. Now I'm an adult spending time with my dad, and he makes separate batches of spaghetti, one for him and I, the other for everyone else, because that's how his mom was. He even made me a separate batch of plain scrambled eggs when he found out I couldn't eat it with all the stuff in it. ❤

[@melissaskinner2199]

My mom knew I couldn't/wouldn't eat mac and cheese, so she would always make me something else on those nights. Didn't know as a kid that I was autistic, but I'm so grateful that my mom just intrinsically knew I needed that accommodation and never complained about doing it for me. ❤

[@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334]

That's a good mother.

[@EmotionalSupportChaosDemon]

So wholesome ♥ That's so cute, yeah a good mom right there!

[@carolinejames7257]

Wow, what a great mum! My parents forced us to eat things we loathed, while we were little at least, by using standover tactics and threatening us, not letting us leave the table until we did, etc. Or by lying about what was in food, or truing to conceal loathed foods in ones we liked. Which led, of course, to us loathing foods we used to like. As we got older and bigger and less easy to browbeat, we just toughed it out. But if we didn't eat what was provided, we got nothing to eat. Five undiagnosed autistic kids, we each reacted differently, but all our food issues became worse as a result of parental mishandling. I often went hungry. I preferred that to attempting to eat foods that looked, tasted, smelled, or felt loathsome, vile, repulsive, so I wanted to puke if they were in my mouth. My parents didn't seem to feel that way about any food. I think they believed we were just being difficult, choosing to behave badly. As far as they were concerned, whatever they felt was what everyone felt. Anyone who claimed otherwise was just making it up. So much for NT empathy, huh?

[@pansyflowerboy]

As a kid I had a horrible time being forced to eat dairy, eggs, and cooked tomatoes. As an adult I recently discovered I have several food intolerances including, you guessed it, cow dairy, eggs, and nightshades. I can't imagine a childhood where you are allowed to have needs around food. Your kids are lucky to have you.

[@mozie4258]

Whenever I catch myself thinking that maybe an accomodation for myself or a child is unreasonable I remember that I had night terrors as a child that would cause me to walk down the stairs in like a trance and just sit on the steps and *scream* and sob and there was nothing my mom could do to comfort me/make me stop until it was over. She told people about this and they said I was just being defiant and she should discipline me but she didn't think that was the case so she never did. I've always been grateful she DIDN'T try to "beat it out of me" and I try to remember that as an adult working with autistic kids and my autistic self.

[@joshberkesch680]

I never drink plain water, it's gotta be bubbly flavored water

[@breeknight6304]

Yes!! Let’s accommodate the needs of children, not blame them, and basically punish them, for having different needs!

[@inspectre27]

An excellent sentiment, but I imagine the bootstrappers will continue to force children to conform, however painful it is, because it's "good for them," or it "builds character," or they just need to "man up" and learn that the cruel world ain't fair.😢

[@misspat7555]

@@inspectre27Yes, this idea is everywhere. Apparently, it’s okay for us to suffer for being bad at pretending to be a clone in the clone army (which EVERYONE is pretending to be in because NO ONE is identical to anyone else; neurodivergent folks just can’t even pretend for any length of time). It’s quite disturbing the number of people clearly obsessed with finding excuses to severely punish people… perhaps, dare I say, as they were punished growing up… so that they can deceive themselves that those harsh “punishments” from their parents were justified and deserved… 😕

[@kensears5099]

GI issues, inflammation, spasms, etc., have been the bane of my life for decades. My autism discovery brought tremendous insight. A bit too late to undo decades of damage, but on time at least to apply some remedial measures from here on out. Yes, hydration is so vital.

[@inspectre27]

Thanks for your bottom line on this one. So much of the time, autistics are forced to accommodate to the convenience of neurotypicals, which is frequently actually suffering for us. Your implied assertion that "it's really not that hard, could you just accommodate us for once?" is something we should see more of (just make the damned Kraft dinner four different ways), warms my heart. As I can frequently be heard saying, or seen posting, "Which one of us is disabled here?"

[@EmotionalSupportChaosDemon]

I distinctly remember looking up ARFID and looking into it a year or two ago and being like: "I'm a picky eater, but I don't think I have that." And now looking into it more, my brain is just like: "No yeah, I probably have that." 😆

[@MyHumanSuit]

Thank you Taylor. I was just in inpatient voluntarily for mental reset after a breakdown. Navigating dietary needs were a nightmare that I believe needs to be taken into consideration with more urgancy within stabilization settings.

[@miarose4908]

When I was little I was allergic to cows milk. Food wise I eat the same foods every day, but on the weekends, I do try to eat a few different things, and trying something new once a week is how i deal with my food restrictions🎉😊 I only got my diagnosis last year at the age of 46 so these videos are so helpful for me. Thankyou so much l🎉❤😊

[@TessaCoker]

My mother peeled and seeded tomatoes AND GRAPES for me. In the fifties there were no seedless grapes. I still have problems with pips in citrus, melons and God forbid I get a BONE in fish (spit out whole mouthful and that is IT). I ate a lot of plain pasta and butter as a kid

[@vitordelima]

Yeah, there are some gooey things in meat that I don't eat but the only person who noticed and complained about it was an unstable crazy stalker, since I just don't eat them without any drama.

[@JonBrase]

I learned the bit about seeds in grapes maybe five or ten years ago, and it shocked me, because by the 90s, when I was growing up, there were basically no seeded grapes left. I've seen them maybe(?) once in my life and the memory is so fuzzy I'm not sure it's real. I don't have sensory issues with bones in fish, but I am phobic about swallowing one, so I don't like fish very well because it requires so much care in eating.

[@vitordelima]

@@JonBrase I have issues with bones but I don't mind sperging all over the food to remove them before I eat.

[@LydiaSimpson-sh8bk]

When I’m approaching burnout, my diet gets so much worse - which makes the burnout so much worse. Complex foods (like most healthy foods) make me gag, but “easy” foods upset my stomach. Eating is the worst!

[@carolinejames7257]

This is the first time I've heard someone mention the taste of water. Water has been shoved down my throat - metaphorically speaking - my whole life. When I say it tastes awful they look at me as if I'm an idiot, or a liar, or just being difficult. Water has no taste, they say. Yes, it does! Some water is ok, but most has underlying metallic, chemical, or other tastes. Different towns/areas have different tasting water. Chilling helps to disguise it, a little. At home, I filter and chill it, which mostly fixes the problem. If not pleasant to drink, it's at least no longer yuk. Still, I've never heard anyone talk about water in addition to food when it comes to taste and ASD. Thank you!

[@chelseafisher6881]

I find fizzing it makes water drink-able, my mum just drinks gin+tonic instead of water 😂

[@terrysbookandbiblereviews]

Plain water has always tasted like metal to me. But back in the 1980’s drinking from the hose on hot days tasted okay I could tolerate the taste better I don’t know why. I also prefer a few things that I like to eat. Sometimes I try different things most times I don’t like them but I have found a few things I like that I will sometimes eat. Great video!!!

[@LadyLenaki]

My grandma had an alternative meal for her kids if they didn't like what was being served. It was bread with butter, sugar, and you could put milk on it or just drink the milk. She did this because her mother did the same thing, and kids eating was more important than everyone eating the same thing.

[@allialias]

My Grandma called that "breadsop" and it was always available when feeling "sick" or needing a snack. Midwest Sensibilities 👍.

[@LadyLenaki]

@@allialias Yep, she was from the Midwest. Her kids called it poor man's pudding, but it's not actually poor man's pudding. Breadsop makes sense.

[@amethyst_cat9532]

My mom did the same thing; if she made something that one person didn't like, it was up to them to fix their own alternative meal (usually cereal or chicken fingers)

[@kikijewell2967]

A reminder that making yourself eat foods that you are more sensitive to than average is _mental load_ which contributes towards burnout.

[@cynthiabohli-nelson1824]

Definitely have food issues from the time I ate my 1st solids. My mom did not make accommodations for me, and because I had strong reactions, my family's reaction was to laugh & say "oh, you're so fussy!". It made me feel bad & anxious at meal times. But now my mom understands, and was so apologetic when I told her how I felt when I was a kid. Not quite as picky about food now, with some exceptions.

[@grooviechickie]

We were talking about my food odditites just this morning. My husband said that I always make the foods that I like and don't really take his desires into consideration, but it's not a bad thing at all. He totally understands and accepts my autistic food issues. ❤ I'm pretty much in control of the kitchen 😂

[@herchelleonwood7463]

he's lucky to have a cook.

[@JonBrase]

My parents were fairly stern about us eating what was set before us, but they learned quickly enough what foods we would consistently and vehemently refuse. I definitely had some sensory-related refusals, but in general I've always been a fairly experimental eater, and meltdowns aren't an issue for me, so all in all things went relatively smoothly.

[@FreyjaAnd]

We use True Lime packets for adding lime flavor to water. It's just lime, no sugar, and one big box lasts forever. It's VERY strong though so either split one packet between two smaller bottles/glasses or use one for a big (32oz+) bottle.

[@vitordelima]

I don't know why but sometimes I can't drink pure water and other times I don't mind it.

[@madhumh2416]

Love True Lime and True Lemon!

[@jillthetree9173]

it seems so small to some but this is a huge deal that really impacts everything. for me, pizza is my safe/comfort food. it's always thee for me :O)

[@inspectre27]

I don't know that I have one specific safe food, I grew more adventurous as I got older and now I guess I have several. But sometimes the brain, she gets bad, and I slowly stop being able to eat. In those times, I have a "last resort" food that I can force myself to eat no matter how bad it gets: Maple & Brown Sugar flavor Cream of Wheat. Make with milk instead of water for slight additional nutrients/calories.

[@tamarapower6553]

Not knowing I was autistic eating was always a problem. I was too picky. I was difficult. Especially when it came to peanut butter or bananas. Also have trouble with drinking water. And like u said. The huge ulcer that came from all this at 65 I'm still suffering. Thank you so much for this channel ❤️

[@robbiegibson4112]

I wish I you were teaching this, or, that I would've known these things when I was a single father for 9-10 years. Excellent content always.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

🌟 👉 Download my FREE Ultimate Guide to Understanding Autism here: momonthespectrum.life/guide 🥳

[@canadianlynx3068]

When I was young I started making my own food so that it would be just the way I like it and there were no surprises (or peas, could never eat them). Much happier when I know what's in my meal.

[@Mel-y4l]

I did NOT think about this... I'm in new environment where I have to be really cautious of what I do and how I act... And. It's like I've been extra frustrated or on alert and it's surfaced in a few ways. Also extreme bloating. Like. Way. Too. Much. Thought that it's eating habits alone. But nowwww I'm starting to think otherwise. I think that's only a small part of it. I'm definitely on high alert and inflamed...

[@vitordelima]

Same.

[@TheJangles77]

I'm curious if anyone else has this experience: there are certain foods -- mustard, raw tomatoes, olives... that trigger a response in me that's not just "I don't like this." it's like my whole body reacts with the message "This is not food, it is a poisonous chemical that the human body should never ingest."

[@erikd4690]

Yes! Raw tomatoes and onions and (oddly) some dark chocolates do this to me, and have done all my life. I'll vomit if I even touch a tomato and will get nauseous or even vomit if the smell of red onion is too strong. If I touch or taste a red onion, instant projectile vomit and throat closes with a sensation of gagging/strangling. I have zero "control" of these responses/reflexes - they all seem to be deeply physiologic in nature even though they're probably texture and taste aversion related.

[@vitordelima]

There is probably something doing this for some reason but I have no idea what it could be.

[@JaCaraKM]

Yes, but for me it is anything with a slimy texture the smell of egg (sulfur/fart smell) like mayonnaise or anything with a strong vinegar smell like Ketchup.

[@TheJangles77]

@@vitordelima well, i've concluded that some foods are migraine triggers for me. Hoppy beers give me that response, and I've concluded that hops are a migraine trigger. But, on the other hand, Tomatoes don't seem to be a migraine trigger, but cheese is, and I LOVE cheese. so... 🤷‍♂

[@jandl1jph766]

Absolutely - to me, it's a certain kind of "gritty" texture that sets me off. Fortunately, there aren't many foods that have this, mostly cheap protein bars and low-fat quark.

[@michelleyarrow2827]

Thanks Taylor, I have been doing this since my daughter was born. I look at this as her body knows what she needs nutritionally that I’m not going to argue with it

[@anonymousinc6330]

Interesting. I LOVE mac and cheese. Late diagnosis. Can't stand eggs or most veggies though.

[@evilbarbie2160]

Cucumber is a really refreshing infusion for water.

[@Warspite03]

Was very annoyed when Kraft changed the recipe for their delux Mac and cheese in Australia. They want from cheese in a can to a plastic sachet and it’s not the same and certainly not deluxe. Although I understand most people cringe at cheese in a can preserved well enough that it can outlast civilisation.

[@EmotionalSupportChaosDemon]

Yeah, I tried the kraft mac and cheese a couple years ago, and immediately noticed it didn't taste like it did when I was a kid. The Great Value (Walmart) brand tastes very similar to how Kraft did as a kid though, but it doesn't cook as soft.

[@aellalee4767]

Yes! My mom had no problem accommodating me, I have few things I dislike in any extreme and we both value having food we really enjoy (easy since we love veggies). I remember my high school BF's stepdad saying he'd make mac n cheese for dinner and I told him I could go home then because every time I've had it I got sick (it's the fake cheese) and he refused to make it differently. I was okay with going home early or making something myself, but instead he flipped out on me for not eating what he made. I didn't understand. I'm not getting physically ill and potentially missing school because he wanted me to eat something else. I told my mom and she just thought it was weird and asked why I didn't come home sooner 😂

[@Peter_S_]

Mac and cheese can make a great base to spice up and augment, especially the white cheese varieties. Garlic powder, onion powder, herbs, so many spice options. It's great with chicken nuggets, but even things like a little gated jerky can go a long way.

[@alexpeltier3330]

My mom had issues with the way her parents raised her around food, so I had to try every kind of food (at least a bite), and be polite about what was offered even if I didn’t like it. Then when I was a young teen, she cracked down hard on my weight a lot. So I’m relatively not picky for an autistic adult, because of both that early open approach to trying food and then legitimately being hungry enough to have to try new things later. I now like a lot of international food, and only won’t eat foods with a spongy or springy texture, like avocado, tofu, mushrooms, or ground meat sauces.

[@mango-ww3ih]

For me learning about cooking and doing more cooking helped. Of course this strategy won't apply to everyone or even most. If you're curious about it, I encourage you to try. 😊

[@plantstho6599]

Doing a parasite cleans and attempting to shift my microbiome has helped to a small degree. The more we can approach WFPB, the better outcome our microbiome will give us, psychologically speaking.

[@JulianCaresForREAL]

I know you already know this... but, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING BUDDY!!!

[@karens8633]

Yes! Stay Hydrated! For one example, kidney stones are very painful!

[@inspectre27]

No shtuff. I kept rating my kidney stone pain at 8 on the scale because Midwestern upbringing taught me to not make an undue fuss. My current doctor told me that passing stones was actually one of the most painful experiences someone in Western Civilization can have. She says it's OK to say 10 if it's true.

[@amygreen6017]

Yes! I seriously love mac n cheese, thats my top favorite. I can eat it everyday. My son though loves pbj the same way as my mac n cheese

[@arqana86]

If I force myself to eat something that triggers me, I have hiccups and the food kind of stops in my esophagus. It’s awful. I am trying to eat healthier to lose weight but thing with chicken and eggs are difficult for me.

[@robbiegibson4112]

I tried to download the guide last night. First, 2nd, 3rd attempt no luck. Hopefully, I will not be in burn out mode before I can today. It doesn't take to much. I haven't been walking and that has made it worse....I am going to try to some today but with a darn inguinal hernia ,,, I just do not feel good and it's painful.

[@B.D.TRX4]

I eat the same exact thing every morning before work.... I eat the same exact thing at resturants. Each restaurant has 1 meal i will only eat. Because its reliable. I have bad dehydration issues ...

[@vitordelima]

I don't seem to have too many issues with this, but my father does.

[@watermelonfancy8339]

Thank you for your content! Can you please tell me where you got your beautiful shirt? :)

[@BradleyNOliver]

Get a Brita filter. Life changing. Takes all the taste out of my water. And the water is bad here. Probably good if you want to flavor it yourself. I can't drink the water at my parent's house. Too chlorinated. If I drink it, it has to be very cold. I always go for bottled water there.

[@maiyapercy]

Drinking enough is not so easy for me. Sometimes I don’t like the taste of water, but it is not so easy to put something in as well. Lemon is a possibility, but sometimes my stomach reacts to that with cramping and I don’t know why it sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t work. Does anyone experience this too? Your kids are really lucky to have you. My mother used to force me to eat food I didn’t like. She would sit with me for an hour until the plate was empty. It was horrible.

[@resourceress7]

We really need to rename meltdowns. Because in common parlance that is a character flaw on immaturity or a self-centered, chosen behavior. A willful tantrum. Neurological overwhelm or something else that points to it being involuntary would be so much more helpful.

[@JulianCaresForREAL]

Your top is really really adorable ❤

[@Rezin_8]

To get to the store..... Find something to eat.... Take it home and cook it without spoiling😂😂😂 I've lost 80 pounds in the last year after the family told me to kick rocks.Living on my own's has been hard😂🎉

[@SkeletalSculptor]

Hi, Taylor...thank you for all of the work you put into getting content out there! Sincere question, why do you generally say, “as an autistic person” when you have a dual diagnosis (not just you, I plan on asking others the same thing🙃)? While I understand that means that you are diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD, it seems to me that people fall into the three distinct and separate categories of ASD, ADHD, and AuDHD. As an ASD person, I’m grateful that those individuals with dual diagnosis appear to be better able to regularly generate content (despite their struggles with overwhelm and burnout) than someone who is exclusively ASD, while also having more and better insight into the autistic experience than NTs; however, it is not the same and so, I find it confusing when so many AuDHD creators speak in terms of autism specifically. I know and appreciate that you always emphasize the fact that you speak from your own experience, and do not claim to speak for anyone else. Also, I’ve wondered if your children both have dual diagnosis, or if one or both is exclusively one form of neurodivergence and that gives you additional insights?

[@laurenlowery5799]

I am a vegetarian who has allergies to dairy, soy. I still eat dairy to a certain extent for protein. But I get exhausted trying to think of what foods to eat together for enough protein (I have hypoglycemia).. Many times I'll just have a sandwich or some nuts or an apple with cheese so I don't have to think about it. I wish I could eat meat, but I love animals too much. I've tried buying it but I can never cook it. Makes me sick to my stomach.

[@robbiegibson4112]

The Urologist is within the same medical group. That's why he dropped me. She reported me to cover her actions .I've never been a threat to or assaulted anyone in my life.

[@Infinitesimal-ho7it]

In a society that keeps people on high alert, and in some ways, tries to keep people on high alert, it makes total sense that individuals are going to develop different aversions.

[@badmonkeyking]

i have a bone desinty issue now at 44 when its something i should have or even test for till 65

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

❤❤❤❤

[@kayjay-kreations]

Support group wow i want one

[@robbunch2225]

Dislike Mac and cheese (texture), hate cilantro (flavour), garbanzo beans (texture). But I love spicy 🌶️

[@PlanckRelic]

Lots of people dislike cilantro, there's a thing where for some people it tastes like soap. MinuteFood has a video about it

[@christinapankey7360]

​@@PlanckRelicyeah, the cilantro thing is actually an identified gene.

[@RI0Tkitty]

People seem to equate accommodating one’s children with somehow not also teaching them…I don’t get it. Kids can be accommodated without being spoiled and if people don’t realize that then they’re probably not actually accommodating 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@erinbierly]

Ditto…Well said. ❤

[@WoohooliganComedy]

💖

[@JulianCaresForREAL]

Hawaiian punch flavor packets

[@andreagriffiths3512]

Wasn’t given a choice as a kid. You got what you got or you went hungry. Stems from baby boomer parents living on rations. I detested liver, kidney and curry as a child. Not diagnosed until 40. I hate the smell, taste and texture of the organ meat and curry was just overpowering in taste. Grew out of hating curry but not the other stuff.

[@robbiegibson4112]

Oh well. I figured I was still alone trying to figure this crud out. No one gives a care.

[@TinyCatSpoons]

Children grow up to be adults?! But that’s optional, right? I mean I’m 37 and technically an adult or whatever I feel like it’s optional

[@JulianCaresForREAL]

What kind of crazy world do we live in where YOU'RE NOT MARRIED??? Hi:)

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

Spoiler alert , children become adults lol😊

[@IaneHowe]

Why? Because she's agreat mom.