THE MIND OF A JEALOUS FAMILY: UNCOVERING TOXIC PATTERNS

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

To see yesterday's live chat on Human Cruelty, click here: kzbin.infoDHHy8SDgZ_w

[@user-lt7zh4lv3b]

When I bought my first house, my brother turned to me and said oh now you’re up, but in a few years I’ll be up and you’ll be down. He said it in front of of my mom, who said nothing. This is just one example. If I do something, they run to copy, regardless of whether they need it or not. They badmouth me behind my back and for years, I justified, shut down any negative thoughts and wondered why they hated me so much. I asked myself ‘why?’ all the time. I stopped trying to understand them. Someone once said to me; if you get stung by an insect, will you try to understand why the insect stung you? Ofcourse not! You care for yourself and avoid the insect. The same with my siblings, I accept I cannot comprehend their feelings and actions and protect myself by keeping my life and plans to myself, and avoiding much contact. They the throw comments trying to make me feel guilty for my distance, but I know I could never talk it out with them because they will gaslight me as usual and make me feel guilty for their own rubbish behaviour!

[@CheriAddison]

My husband has 5 children his 43 year old daughter is so jealous that I’m going to get her inheritance that she is keeping her name on his house deed as half owner ( she paid nothing her name was on for legal purposes. In case he died) he’s 65 in 60 and we have to sell the house to downsize. It’s a living nightmare!!!🥲

[@astrospirit]

@@user-lt7zh4lv3b this is my mother and brothers too smh 🤦‍♀️

[@valeriesmith9031]

@@user-lt7zh4lv3b Lord have mercy . I see so much of myself In this 🫂😢❤️🙋🏽‍♀️

[@natatattful]

@@CheriAddison You don't think its narcissistic to take the inheritance of your husband's child? Wow

[@miraclemiracle9289]

Yes. Sometimes no contact is the only way to stop the abuse of family @1:20:20.

[@tita8202]

@@miraclemiracle9289 , this is where I'm at now.,.

[@tinadavis2083]

@@miraclemiracle9289 Amen😔🙏🏽

[@tinadavis2083]

Yes🙏🏽😔

[@Fourwindsofsuccess]

Only the solid strong people who want to heal, grow and move on will do that. Some people got Stockholm syndrome badly they can’t walk away without no contact or “survivors guilt”. LIKE walk TF away and leave them to rotten. Stop worrying about who, what when where and why?

[@kandyjohns5847]

Unfortunately, yes. I had to put distance between my mother and I. The rest of the family, does whatever she does. They allow her behavior and the ones who SEE and KNOW that she is doing this, don't support me against her.🤷🤦 So, in essence, ALL of my immediate family and extended family are doing this

[@EmpressEmpress-53]

Resonates. I have jealous siblings and cousins. I went no contact permanently. 💪🙏💪🙏😇

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I don't blame you!

[@sunflowersoul821]

Same here. They'll set you up to see harm done to you and start a smear campaign with your name.💯✂️✌🏾

[@roxiet7016]

Very Unfortunately many so called family members are vile ~ mean spirited haters.. They don’t love you! Really wanna destroy you!. You’ll never please them.. they are too far gone.. and stuck in their atrocious trouble ~ making hating vibe!.. You have to leave them .. alone behind for your sanity! And keeping your beautiful spirit Thriving **growing *.loving. Unfortunately they prefer low vibing victimizing gossip and hatred!..😟😣😡 Bye ~ bye … demons ! See ya . Don’t wanna be ya!. Ashe’❤

[@astrospirit]

Same ❤

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

Is it better now?

[@frankly2812]

There has been a portion of jealousy within my family from my mother’s daughters-whom I don’t refer to as sisters any longer because it doesn’t register for me anymore. My mother’s daughters are those that don’t want you to succeed or they don’t want to see you with anything more than they’ve come by. It’s been that way for years and I tried to give Grace but I will not allow folk to treat me bad. Ever.

[@Alexander-ts9tf]

Same here. I am now accepting the fact I have to go no contact with my entire family. The slander is getting worse and I'm too old for the stress.

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

Best blessings for you. 💜

[@BAnn123-v2s]

🎯

[@PatriciaRamsey-er9xt]

Yes and some family members go to no end to see you down

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Sadly, yes, some do.

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

They forgot that they get bad karma by doing bad to you.

[@DivyaRajan-l3h]

Despicable but SO true!

[@dennisrobinson8008]

These dynamics are HORRIBLE and if you are an optimistic and "good" person can be quite unreal, but it is very real!

[@lorrainedevlin6409]

My brother was so envious of me that he slanders my name and has been doing it for years now round town.

[@eyereadeverything777]

Then you’ll have families that try to do things to insight jealousy within you because they are projecting their insecurities onto you. Or parading things in your face that they know you will never obtain like a mom or a dad. So evil.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Agree. This is evil behavior.

[@letsbefruitful5457]

Yesss🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾this is so true 😢

[@TrinaLight]

Have you heard about anything like a thing getting in the body on the mind take your life story off the brain and more ija

[@treasurejoy8539]

@@eyereadeverything777 facts

[@demimiller3756]

Yes and the sad part is I was only a child, and it was an older adult family member, for some reason it didn’t ever make me jealous, I didn’t even understand until I thought back about it when I got older, for some reason jealousy was a hard emotion to invoke in me, but I have such a huge heart, that I feel soooooo sadddd when I think of it and I can’t phantom how or why, someone would want to do that to a little child. 😢

[@morningsong9509]

This explains my mum's behaviour, never a good word to say about me but loads of praise for others. When I meet jealous people, I just distance myself and move on. Great video, very freeing!!

[@etaokha4164]

Whenever my narc mother visits the uk she never ever comes to my home but rather she goes and live with this relative of ours that isnt even her child or daughter and when i brought it up it was funny when she said ( am I angry because my mother lives with her? This people know what they're doing. Not only do they exclude me but their actions towards me and my children spoke louder than their words. Theyve always been envious of me since birth and they sat on their envy and jealousy and its now when they're older its all coming out. Ive been no contact ever since.

[@Scene68]

It feels like it's by design that empaths are spiritually linked to these types of jealous humans. At least from my experience, not with just some family members, even those who I've thought were my friends, that delusional jealousy rips through like a tidal wave. I agree; jealousy is the most lamest emotion humans could ever go through. Like my Grandma always would say, "What you have, they can have it, too. Even more so, they can do better than you, if they actually put in enough effort."

[@Lyrielonwind]

I think some people can be jealous of what you don't have. I had a neighbor who was always bugging me because I wasn't in any relationship with a man. One day, she slipped and told me that if she could be back in time, she wouldn't be married, had kids and not even her dog. That kind of people don't know you enough to realize that you had hardships in your life too. I got married and then divorce and I didn't feel like trying not even met anyone who could change my mind. Maybe she had other reasons but it seems she didn't like I had no one to control me and I could get in and out as I pleased... you never know. Some people are good at hiding their jealousy. They can even befriend you in order to cause you more damage.

[@ohanaohana8844]

@Scene68 I've thought about this too. Why was I born into a family that is so dark? I think God uses people to try and elevate others, but unfortunately, most resist it. They resent your "light" instead of admiring it. None of your good deeds are appreciated. Those people will be held accountable by God because they were given a chance to do better and be better people.

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

But it's not about getting better than someone else. It's about you to feel good with what you are and do. And to know that one is responsible for all feelings inside, to heal them instead of being rude, mean or nasty to others.

[@Sasha-ws6gv]

My brother is someone that I haven't had any contact with since my mom died in 2016. He is very brash and is very insulting. I have run into him at several family functions in passing, but this past week, he was visiting back home when I was their. This nut was loud, obnoxious, and insulting. I have learned to ignore people. Therefore, I removed myself from the room. I no longer want to put myself in his presence. He is very triggered by my existence. It's no longer my business to try to figure people out, I just exit stage left Respectfully

[@valeriesmith9031]

Jealousy is a spirit and it comes from insecurities of the person who is spewing that animosity out on you . Somebody in their childhood told them That they were not good enough

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

This is certainly the problem for some people. I agree.

[@johnson2joy]

I see this behaviour a great deal in the black community, I think it goes back to the hundreds of years of the enslavement of the African American and Caribbean and Latin Afro-American communities that has never been addressed and inherited behaviours are just passed on. The chain needs to be broken and a lot of work needs to be done! This is very deep because so many families are fragmented and traumas are "pushed" down. This is deep, very deep. We are too scared to look at our back story, but I guess it is too painful. However, it must be done so we can heal...... People forget that the identified so called African American story is rooted in that they have been "enslaved" longer than they have been "freed"....... We have to learn the power of reflection.

[@emilysnyder4857]

​@@johnson2joyInteresting theory about it being rooted in slavery. I'm not black but I have a lot of Irish in me and the specifics of my abuse were woven into things like housekeeping and had a spirit that is demeaning of women, disabled persons, orientation and racial identity etc. I have often wondered if some of my ancestors possibly came here in some bondservant existence when there was a potato famine or something. I wonder what we'd find out if we had our family tree searched out?

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

Told or showed them....

[@sonyascott-campbell5024]

I’m a witness and a survivor. Thank you for validating what I’ve experienced throughout my life. I found my tribe!

[@Hisdesire1st]

You’re telling my story completely. The stories I could tell. I’ve had to separate from my siblings it’s so bad.

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

True, it is Bad and sad and disapointing. I miss a family with that it is possible to talk about everything, to be happy and healthy together. Where all support each other. That should be normal.

[@JosephtheDreamer-h3r]

The only win that is possible against narcissists is not to play the game . No response. No reaction. No explanation. No contact . Remove yourself.

[@oldtimer7779]

Correct! Dont go D.E.E.P. Don't Defend Don't Engage Don't Explain Don't Personalize Dont give them anything

[@MahareyS]

❤

[@kandyjohns5847]

I feel less alone, seeing all of these comments. 🙏🥺😔 I feel like I am not alone, for once, in a very long time

[@firesidechat7191]

I have been very alone for 40 years and I just discovered why.

[@djmidas7]

Sad to be so jealous and envious. Dangerous ground to live

[@jodi2820]

Thank you so much for this topic, and teaching us about it, btw, my friend always said, "if they dislike you, your doing something right"

[@Michelle-hf5jk]

yeah this is crazy. it’s been getting worse and worse

[@evangelistdenisestephenson113]

The gossiping and the comparing and competition

[@Rebeccabecc]

Yes it's so immature 🙄 and I'm so over this dysfunctional so called family

[@ajira3310]

My God !! You have described me and my older sister dynamic, I finally cut her off and removed myself from the roller coaster ride . She’s deeply insecure and projects on me 😢…

[@oldtimer7779]

Sounds like my story too, No Contact is 1000% better

[@selinabrooks3629]

Currently dealing with this I have very Jealous cousins so evil so iv decided to permanently avoid them and have no contact with them.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes that's the only option until further options are found or until there is change.

[@redbaron8999]

Yes!! My mother and sisters always minimized me and my autistic sons achievements!! My dad too alienated us once I needed and use a wheelchair!! Their Sick Thinking OMG 😳

[@michelleloveday6929]

I agree jealousy is very immature

[@criticfortheuploader2035]

*Jealousy is something we can't fix, it's insecurities built within just waiting to be initiated by someone or a situation, smh!*

[@ilikeitlikethat7305]

My presence triggers jealousy in my parents and siblings. I’ve finally removed myself from all of them because why? They’re so weird.

[@Leoniedisnaelikeliars]

I want my little sister to have a good life , she deserves it .I won't see her much due to 'distance' . I want the rest of my family to leave me alone . I feel pretty much like that about about everyone I've met lately .

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

I understand you!

[@busichanel4934]

I know someone who is like this and I can cut the jealousy with a knife when we are in the same spaces. I can’t get with jealous or envious people. What is for anyone is for them appointed by a blessing or curse. I stay grounded in my spirituality and I’m able to discern body language and social cues

[@trevavaile]

I’ve been saying in the past how much time is wasted obsessing over someone else in jealousy. We should be focused on how amazing we are. To make a list about all the wonderful things about yourself that you possess. If you haven’t found much to list then work on that. Dig deeper. Work on becoming the kind of person you want to be. Each one of us is an original. ❤ I just work on me. It’s ridiculous to assume that I would have the power or even the desire to waste my precious time on attacking someone else thinking that I would become authentically “better” or more successful that way. I have experienced exactly a brother and sisters that are malicious in this way more than ever as adults.

[@sweetbe49]

Thank you for taking about this . Sad how these families behave almost everyone deals with this with a family member. I give silent to anyone with this behavior and with drawing from them. Delete them from my life.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes, absolutely! We need these topics more often on KZbin. It's often wise to put up boundaries or walk away from people who show dangerous signs of jealousy.

[@Cocomonkey2002]

Not my family, but family by marriage- my in-laws. This is spot on. And it is so true, you cannot Google this, I have tried till my wits end to look up and find additional help on this subject.

[@heidij70]

@@Cocomonkey2002 you are not alone.

[@BellaHoward-yp4sm]

Same here I wish it was better LORD HELP & HEAL us ALL 🙏

[@kimmathe6701]

I meant my survival skills caused damage to my autoimmune system. Also, coveting is one of the deadly sins.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Our coping skills help us for a while but later become a problem. Living in survival mode for too long is a guarantee for health problems. I don't know if you know Gabor Mate. He has a lot to say about it. It's on KZbin.

[@JBgoodiebag]

Damage to your immune system. Autoimmune disease is linked to childhood trauma. Autoimmune is when your immune system attacks itself

[@angiep8605]

Thank you for another good video. It's when parents say to you that your sister is jealous of you but they don't know why, so just ignore how she treats you because you know what she's like. This subjected me to over 40 years of covert envy & jealousy which she was so good at making it look like she was the good person but really she was digging into my life behind my back and trying to find dirt on my partners or get close to them to have an influence over them. So horrible to live through!!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome!! And thank you. Glad this was helpful. And I'm sure that was horrible. I'm sorry.😔 Join me live on Friday. I will be talking about the psychology of persuation in relationships. Sounds like this is exactly what she did.

[@angiep8605]

​@@TherapistTamaraHill She is so adept at persuasion it's scary. Can't wait until Friday. Your videos are so enlightening. Thank you

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome and thank you!!

[@danitajminer3279]

I'm here in the background, jumping pews and stomping snakes saying, "Amen, sister!" This episode's material is solid gold!❤

[@ConzueloFleming]

Hi, just found your channel, great as I love these topics. I have a gut feeling and know that there is jealousy in the family and against me. I needed to move away and sometimes keep my distance to keep away from these negative emotions and behaviour. The thing is that a one cannot broach the issue because you know they will always make it look like or turn it around that you are the one that is wrong…..I feel on the outside of the family on many accounts.

[@tarawilliams5204]

@@ConzueloFleming Your perspective is Very Much Validated same here you are NOT crazy!!!!

[@kandyjohns5847]

Tamara, it has been extremely hurtful being on the receiving end of my mother's jealousy. I didn't even realize what it was, until my therapist revealed that to me. I didn't want to accept it! You almost can't fathom the possibility. Also, the family dysfunction seeps into everything. We are Native American and the oppressive energy is passed from generation to generation.😢 My mother is the Matriarch of the family. I have done many things I am proud of - whenever someone speaks to me, with praise of any kind, she LITERALLY speaks over them, turns up the music, etc. It is noticeable, often. I know other people see this, yet no one will defend me. I stand alone and that has made me outcast for years now.

[@keairaaskew4534]

This is me

[@Pukeyray]

Another enlightening video. Along with explaining how hate is under this. I love how psychology can give new insights to the world. Thanks and your colleagues support in the channel is coming through. The splitting, projecting, and internalizing is so damaging especially when done by caregivers. Thanks and looking forward to what you all share!

[@safeeffective385]

Folks, just always keep in mind that how others feel is 100% their own personal problem to contend with... especially if they don't have the strength and integrity to talk to you about what exactly it is that's bothering them (ie if you're doing something "wrong" in their opinion). Never, ever lower or "reduce" yourself to appease such nasty, out of control feelings that another person is dealing with.

[@kimmathe6701]

Thank you . I will need to listen to the second half of the video. on Sunday. I'm not an Instagram fan either. I so appreciate you and all your content. I have just received 8!months of recovery from ACOA/ coedependency . I am slowly coming out of denial . I truly believed that as the scapegoat I was absolutely the problem. I'm middle aged, and just beginning to realize it's the whole damn family impacted by alcoholism and generational abuse. My I the oldest of 5:. My youngest sister totally damaged my relationship with other siblings. The envy and jealousy is very evil and dark. It's covert abuse. I've had to deal with it my entire life . Starting with my parents. Do you have any videos, on autoimmune disorders and past trauma. IMy immune system is shit from. The survival skills I had to use. This jealousy crap and on going abuse has made my body sick.

[@ElizzzaB]

You may find information by a Google search.

[@SiddityPrincess]

Whewwww this was good good. When I tell you as a child I experienced jealous parents my father and step mother and sibling - step sister who literally in their own ways attempted to sabotage me as a child. I remember feeling that my stepmother and step-sister constantly trying to sabotage me, make me feel less than and other little sinister things due to jealousy. Withholding of support and really essentially doing the bare minimum in an attmept to create a life of struggle for me. I really believe the jealously came from me prior to her and my step daughter coming along, having a sense of some security that maybe they sensed and wanted.

[@karenmcgovern5320]

It seems to me this should be a required part of PSY 101 curriculum -- -- Many thanks!

[@doriannemosich232]

Hi Tamera , just another loyal fan , thank you as my fragile sanity heals.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you!! And you're welcome 😊

[@doriannemosich232]

@@TherapistTamaraHill it's no coincidence we share the same birthday, beautiful souls.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

@@doriannemosich232 😀😇

[@stopwars8642]

Parents create the jealousy in their children by not relying or involving or making them feelless important. Then they get the other sibilings jealous favoring one sibiling they get along with more than the others due to their own conflicts with those sibilings. Then those siblings triad and it becomes one big mess. But of course the parent doesnt take any accountabiity for their behavior and the children are the cause .They feel they can do and live how ever they want not realizng the impacts on the kids . The parent is incapable of hav listening to how it got there in the first place. They blame the kids and the kids blame the parent lol .

[@OneofMany-yt5sl]

I got blamed for 55 years for the parent's mistakes, even though one of the parents has been dead those 55 years.

[@RoyalBlood23]

Nailed it🎉 parents f you up as the book quotes.

[@shelisenewbeign7625]

@@stopwars8642 Bingo

[@tishaturner8079]

@@stopwars8642 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@JKDVIPER]

See, because I know they do this stuff for different reasons. They go all the way up to and including sometimes murder and other harms when there’s negative energy, crooked activity, and general lack of care for the individuals.

[@JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc]

I have a different understanding of the distinctions between "jealousy" and "envy": MY understanding of " jealousy" is basically JUST a feeling of anger or depression (or even feelings of inadequacy) at NOT having what somebody else has that you MAY want. "Envy" on the other hand is far more malicious/psychopathic in that it goes BEYOND jealousy by producing a desire to HARM/DAMAGE/DESTROY the person you are jealous of, OR.... HARM/DESTROY the objects that create such jealousy. For example, say I'm envious of a "playboy" friend who is able to "score" with beautiful women who are "out of my league".... If I am ENVIOUS enough of that playboy, I may feel the desire to want to "rearrange his face" (If not actually DO such a thing to his face), whereas if I'm JUST "jealous", I might just feel bad that I'm not the "lady killer" that my "friend" is, but I will not necessarily be wanting to somehow MAKE him less desirable to women. Ditto if I'm jealous/envious of something like his car or home or other material object.... I will not necessarily want to flatten the tires of his brand new Mercedes if I'm JUST "jealous" of his car. Jealousy can also be more POSITIVE than envy because it could prompt one to TRY TO ACHIEVE OR OBTAIN for ONESELF what one might be JUST jealous of instead of trying to harm or damage or destroy the object or the person that HAS the object.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Cain and Abel

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Very good point. Also, David and Saul. So very sad.

[@alexishill3342]

I have a younger sister who used to always accuse me of being jealous of her until one day I got so enraged that I yelled that she had nothing I wanted and nothing to be jealous of. I recounted to her every time I'd seen her hiding out at my parents' house from her abusive husband and how little time she spent in the very regular house they bought. She came to me later and privately disclosed that the things I said had hurt her feelings, and I apologized because my intention was to help her see that we want different things in life. She wanted a 4 bedroom house and an abusive man, and I desire a man who is generous, kind, and wealthy and to live in a mansion. I couldn't be jealous or envious because I think on a different level than her while fully accepting/celebrating her for who she is. I think she just wanted to feel relevant and accomplished because her husband and his family of origin were, and always made fun of her for not being accomplished.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

This is an unfortunate and sad dynamic indeed. Seems like she had a lot to evaluate and it wasn't you.

[@oleeshanorris5343]

@@alexishill3342 my sister is so mean to me. I used to idolize when I was younger. She was always one of my favorite people. But she does mess with me. We don't hang I tried to call her on her birthday last year. She ignored me. I don't get it. I have tried and tried. Wish I had regular sister relationship like other ladies.

[@BlackSheep_216]

Its so hard to see where I am wrong and what I need to work on when I dont know what is real because of all the lies. There are so many things I know they did to sabotage my life. Its really sad to because my life has not been easy. I believe they are figuring out where I live and using community facebook groups to gangstalk me and make me look crazy. I hope I am wrong but I dont think so. There is a lot happening in the family as far as torches being passed and its made them 10X worse.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Maybe it would be a good idea quitting social media for a while or change your account, nickname, etc.

[@jacquelinehiggs6867]

I don’t trust no one every time I got close to anyone I got backstabbed.But when I see family winning I’m the first to congratulate or to encourage others to be better in life.But I definitely got issues.

[@DrSueRob]

They never support, never congratulate...but always want to know what you're doing and what you've acquired.

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

You tell all I know and have experienced. I had some envy friends and also jealous and envy family.. That was very disapointing. I am happy for everybody that's not like that. It's a blessing to me.

[@rashminair1301]

Love your videos! They're informative, empathetic, and foster a community of people with shared experiences, providing a space where we can all learn from one another.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

💖thank you so much!! I'm happy about that and grateful for you all!

[@brigittavanderputten3596]

My sister appears to be jealous of me. She is the one who appears to be all together, in that she was good in school, always had a good job, has practiced spirituality, etc. There is something in me that she is jealous of. I'm very artistic, attractive( she has a different kind of attractive), athletic, etc. It's very hurtful so I used to overcompensate when she used to make comments to me. I would feel bad about getting more attention or just being myself.

[@letsbefruitful5457]

Same here with my sister

[@AlisonKerr-q7k]

Same with mine ladies x

[@shinebabyshine.]

Omg this is me too

[@annitricewheatley6496]

My only sister has done the same thing to me.wow!! I've distanced myself. the only one I'm trying to please is Almighty GOD. Blessing to all😊

[@patriciareyes1356]

It’s not always about what you have. It’s who you are - that special something that makes you, you. Your spirit, your aura. It’s how others love you so much that irritates their spirit. It’s the attention you get for just being you naturally. It’s the beauty that radiates from within. It’s your natural abilities and talents. You avoid people that are jealous like the plague! They have major issues and insecurities that they need to work out in their own. They should seek therapy.

[@trevorgittens510]

I find that I have to be aware of what is necessary for me to consider, and how to approach it. I will not allow myself to be aware of the circumstance, and not seek to speak to it appropriately; the action I take will definitely be constructed according to the type of relationship. The one thing I will not do is ignore that which I need to pay attention to! I am not going to try to change what I cannot, but I will recognize it for what it is.

[@JStarPeaks]

My question to a family member who was trying to be controlling by belittling my life choices was, why do you want me to be like you? Especially when I'm free to be myself. The family member couldn't comprehend why I didn't react the same way they did to similar life expierences. It was very eye opening to me that they weren't exactly jealous they just could see how I came to a prospective they couldn't with out feeling less than. They tried though, tried calling me names and trying to tell me who I was when I knew atleast my heart was genuinely guided that way. In the end, there were alot of things my family member was right about but I learned that the fall out was inconsequential to myself. I'm comfortable with my choices and my mistakes. Even when it led to more heartbreak and isolation. Not letting go of my beliefs was worth letting go of those who wanted me to be a different version of myself.

[@CassandraJackson-pq6fi]

C.J. Here I’m so glad God lead me to your live. It has taken me decades to realize my Mom is truly jealous and envious of me and all of my accomplishments. I’ve I realized I have pity on her I pray for as well. I want Her to be delivered from issues… In her young childhood she was abandoned by her Mom.Its so sad I do not trust her at all… As so she sow seeds of discard amongst the other family members to disgrace my character… Its so clear to me now🙏🏼

[@theofficialmiraclethomasch4852]

New Subscriber! Sending love to everyone. ❤️

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Welcome!! Glad to have you.😊

[@violetsinspring5863]

Wow! Finally I’m understanding why my brother and his wife are so awful to me! It’s actually gotten much worse in the past 15 years. I’m 67 now, brother 66. I’ve decided recently to go as no contact as possible. Their lives are a mess while I have my life in order and am happy. Very happy. It’s also gotten worse since my mom died 3 years ago. The final straw for me was when my brother said to me on a phone call “you’re a weird f**k, ya know”! I just couldn’t understand why they make me feel uncomfortable around them and try to pick fights. Actually my sister in law has also resented me for 40 years they’ve been married. I think she has been very instrumental in destroying my real with my only sibling. I cannot tell you how much your channel appeared just when I need it the most. Thank you!❤

[@jennifermariejoyce]

Thanks for this. I really want to understand why my sister has the reactions she does toward me. She zeros in on me, trying to control my actions (nothing I do is right, even if I do what she wants), while being super sweet to others. She also uses gifts transactionally, to win favor with others, and to create an illusion of care toward me. I’ve had decades of therapy, and other than being an autonomous adult, I can’t figure out what causes this.

[@czhanell]

Hello, new to your page. I am so glad that my algorithm drop you in my feed. This is on time and well needed for me. More clarification and confirmation. Especially, since I’ve been in therapy for almost a year. You see people for who they are and what they need to deal with (inner work) simultaneously being self aware on so many levels of family and other relationships, etc

[@ohanaohana8844]

The mother is the root of the problem. She either encourages closeness or separation of her children.

[@Fourwindsofsuccess]

The mother is the cause even if she knows intentionally or unintentionally. The family dynamics play a role in why siblings are like that.

[@silethaking279]

💯💯

[@Chavabodhi]

Phenooooomenal job!!!❤🔥🙏

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🙌😊🙏Glad this was helpful. Thank you!

[@nansorayha1378]

I now feel less crazy ,And prideful . I use to think that I was self absorbed for thinking they are ganging up against me because of this but your videos have helped me immensely

[@JKDVIPER]

New one! Awesome! Although I haven’t heard much I wanted to touch base on a couple things I’ve noticed happening a lot lately. I’m seeing, I don’t know if you guys are, but there’s been an almost by hijacking in a sense, of our studies into narcissism, borderline, toxic and psychopath related content? Meaning, instead of saying someone is being made to feel like crap, when they deserve the minimum respect at a base. These people are finding, judging, deciding each other are toxic because of how they answered a question or because they simply disagree or see things differently. Remember, depending on a persons needs, if those needs can be met, by fooling others into believing the narrative, then they can elicit emotional support, and get people to please them with narcissistic supply, thus manipulating an otherwise NORMAL SITUATION? Has anyone else seen or felt this almost FORCED TRIGGERING? The best way I could describe it would be, “Do you or anyone you know, see people advocating for false concern? Or gas lit by somebody who’s really just a chronic complainer?

[@czhanell]

Sometimes, you have to shift or move out of the region that you’ve been in for so long or all of your life if it is stunting growth, stagnation and their is negative hovering over you bc of other people. Removing yourself from the atmosphere and dealing with folks from a distance is so peaceful and less stressful. You don’t have to deal with certain energies and spirits on your space.

[@truth4utoda]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤love you gurl!! This was helpful beyond words. You know my family.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Glad it was helpful! And yes, I thought about you tonight during the chat.

[@Self-helper415]

This is my 1st time listening to your channel. I enjoyed this video and I recognize a lot of these behaviors in past friends and family members towards me and towards other family members and it’s so sad to see and experience.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you! Welcome to the channel. I welcome you to join me live too! Fridays and Saturdays 6:30pm est

[@BellaHoward-yp4sm]

Wow same here I wished it could be better for us sending 💜☮️😀JOY💪🕯good HEALTH & ABUNDANCE of BLESSINGS to us ALL 💜🙌💜🙌💜🙌💜🙌💜🙌

[@laughinghawk8522]

Imagine being an identical twin dealing with being pitted against each other by your parents ALL your life.

[@trevorgittens510]

WoW! This is so refreshing, we definitely need to have these conversations without becoming offended. I also believe that when we recognize that behavior, how you respond is more important because it will reveal who you are. I am new to your channel, thank you for going beneath the surface!

[@Rebeccabecc]

Yes!!! 🎉❤

[@thejazzcove6475]

God knew I needed to see this ! Thank you so much young lady!!!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Amen!! Glad it was helpful! You're welcome 😊

[@annelinunes5532]

Thanks. You have so much common sense and understanding that I finally understand my sister's delusional behavior.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome and I'm sorry you are dealing with this. 😔 Join me Friday and Sat live, as I discuss this further.

[@emilysnyder4857]

Had one of these at my job once. The sad part is that they would have been liked if it wasn't for the energy/ behavior that went towards causing havoc.

[@illuminationgoddess3]

Wow, it’s 5pm listening now. Thank you for sharing.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome!!

[@finabond8926]

Very true parents, are the ones who should help and support, but no they support their fevered children, my parents never supported me, they knows very well I was a good person and hard worker.

[@AlisonKerr-q7k]

This is so true Tamara I wish I could talk to you on this matter 1-1 my barren sister was so jealous of my motherhood she literally stole my daughter for her own . And does not allow me to see her anymore . She blames me for everything that goes wrong. Scapegoats me . And has told the extended family I'm a child abuser / neglecter which i never was . Even blatantly ignores the court orders for contact . She has turned my life into living hell .

[@saterrah.6677]

That is so true what you are saying in this video!💯

[@jodi2820]

So I have found myself the receiver of envy and jealousy, so for years I have dumbed down, and ignored my needs, to hope that they wouldn't be jealous anymore, a serious problem I've created for myself, plus it doesn't work, but I've done it for years, and can't get myself out of this bad treatment I am treating myself with.

[@mllane3779]

This truly is clarity for me🙏🏾

[@stellasole3720]

This is awesome thankyou! And it's the first time I looked at the info box thankyou so much for putting in the literature to follow! 🙏

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're so welcome! Glad this is helpful!

[@angelacrapps2905]

These type of people do witchcraft too when they are jealous of you

[@tweetybird3781]

This is great information. I wish I could get a copy of the transcript for my sister. Thanks for explaining this...I never understood.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Glad it was helpful! You're welcome!

[@ElizabethOrtiz-o4v]

My Dad would tell me My Daughter is Jealous of me and those who she Associates with are also Jealous too. He forgot to mention my mother. It seems my Daughter has Deep Animosity. She has this Mood about her with me. She has a Mood with her kids too. My daughter can be mean. She says to me I'm not going to Sugar Coat it🤔🤷 It seems as though my Daughter is Miserable with her life. I can feel her hostility. It has me very upset.😢 I learned my Mother is Narcissist. That explains why she treated me less Important than my sister. My sister was the Golden Child. 😢

[@mandisimone7191]

I’m experiencing this right now! I removed myself from that entire side of the family! My peace is more important

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry. This is a complicated dynamic that most people would like to avoid. So sometimes, as you point out, going no-contact or limiting contact is helpful.

[@raqueltorres6380]

Hello from my community in Las Vegas, Nevada ❤❤

[@marvinasimswewinqueendom2543]

You explained this so eloquently. Thank you for sharing my life💕

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks so much!!

[@ConzueloFleming]

Hi Tamara, what is it called when you do what you can for family and others, but when you cannot and also you do not fulfil their expectations, this can also create animosity and anger which then fester and then they keep their distance. Some families just don’t talk and be open about things and get it all off their chest.

[@ElleSeven-l3q]

Jerry Wise - he's so good re systems thinking, etc. GREAT topic❤

[@butterflymac]

Thank you so much for this subject discussion. I have a older sister who I believe has this problem but I have always thought it was related to her having been responsible for me when we were growing up. She was the eldest and rescented the responsibility. Others say she jealous because of my accomplishments and that of my children.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome! Glad this was helpful. It is also difficult to navigate life with a jealous person.

[@butterflymac]

@@TherapistTamaraHill yasss...

[@Elizabeth-os9tn]

Thank You so much for this Enlightened Message. Much Love ‼️♥️

[@JGP246]

Thank you for freeing my mind, concerning my Family

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You are so welcome! So good to hear.

[@slimdusty6328]

I get a little bit envious sometimes of close families.Families that can work together towards a common goal (ie:goal of genuine close family), share and care genuinely. They don't even necessarily need to have a whole lot of money. Money isn't even ever their main focus The extreme capitalism in my view is quite likely to be due to the devils work, if in fact a devil exists.So many societies of first nation peoples lives have turned for the worst, family wise, ever since the extreme capitalist ways were forced upon them. And in my view, religion was used as a vehicle to help to make it happen systematically Thankfully i have more or less been adopted in recent years by one of these very close knit families who genuinely share and care. Within which the measure of wealth is measure through love between human .I feel blessed even although i'm an agnostic In my view, "measure of achievement" should really relate to the health of the family love and depth of the relationships what have been built up over a lifetime. Rather than to be measured by tallying up the level of material gain

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I very much agree with this true statement: "In my view, "measure of achievement" should really relate to the health of the family love and depth of the relationships what have been built up over a lifetime. Rather than to be measured by tallying up the level of material gain..." Good point!

[@slimdusty6328]

@@TherapistTamaraHill i suspect that perhaps the loss off family relationships, and lack of family closeness in relation to bonding , could directly relate to growing feeling of meaningless in life kzbin.info/www/bejne/nIvJaX6GiNiAqZI While the Pirahã people from Brazil don't maintain any form of religion at all, they do maintain extremely strong, close loving family bonds. They have very few mental health problems, and cannot even begin to fathom why anyone in the world would ever decide to suicide. Are known to be some of the most happiest people in the world. But option for material gain, is lowest on their list of desire When everyone dies, they'll all leave this earth with the exact same amount of money. Not even "one person" anywhere on this earth will leave with anymore money than what another person will. Not even would they be they King or Queen either. But meanwhile the Pirahã people "will all" leave this earth with a massive accumulated wealth of family memories If anyone of us were to suggest to the Pirahã that our lives are meaningless, they'd think that we must need to be absolutely crazy

[@ConzueloFleming]

James McDonald, your comment resonates with me…wow, still the same now as an adult.

[@reneeoldschoolrbgilliard7766]

So true ❤❤❤

[@Marina-be8tk]

Great video ! The issue of my whole life. My cousin, smiling, presented me with shoes with unstable heels as a gift. The meaning of this gift was understood only many years later. Passive aggressiveness and under the umbrella is envy. My aunt never congratulated me, she was always overly critical in the absence of her own achievements. She expressed unbridled anger for no reason just at the fact of my presence. So ugly. Reactive aggressiveness and under the umbrella again envy. Why are such topics not addressed in any way in schools or even universities? At least simplistically ? People spend half their lives or even whole lives trying to decipher their own relatives ! Defensive walls were built by me too late !

[@suzan698]

Yes jus cuz it fam doesnt mean they love u and has pure intentions

[@trevavaile]

What they have done has caused so much damage and pain,

[@jannettwhite9853]

😮Lady J.FIRST TIME..TEARS FOR ME AND FAM..Thank God..