The Most Confusing Movie I Have Ever Seen

[@alishaamado6799]

maybe he would be better at dancing if he faced the screen that displays the steps to take

[@WhutADrag]

He wasn't even stepping on any of the buttons. He didn't hit a single step, he completely failed at DDR lmao

[@redvinet6591]

If you told me that you watched a movie where Ryan from High School Musical beat up a property brother in the midst of his journey to be come dancing ninja I would assume it was a fever dream

[@isildlc2150]

And who was trained by the sports teacher in glee

[@sillysillygoosegoose7491]

Isild LC and David Hasselhoff if the villain

[@thisaccountsucks3225]

And he’s fucking dating Elisa Estrada

[@madann56]

And who’s to say it wasn’t?

[@PolyPocketPole]

I think it still is

[@almagundelach1256]

If I had a dime for every time Kurtis said “if I had a dime” then I would be rich enough to make my own super weird movie that doesn’t make sense

[@nepetah3130]

I bet Curtis could make a dime off of reviewing it.

[@almagundelach1256]

Nepeta H it would be a dream come true lol

[@richbrownsberger5452]

I mean this movie probably only cost 2 dimes

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

MrTinyCat wym it cost 1 dimes

[@irfanraza-lz3ye]

Actually It was a penny 🤯🤯🤯🤯

[@treedeerthethingy4812]

9:25 fun fact, it's bad to put your chopsticks standing up in a bowl of rice, because it resembles the incense they use at funerals. whatever researchers they hired were really bad at their jobs. also, that rice is clearly uncooked.

[@basilmahyoub3607]

perhaps it could be a foreshadowing that his sensei is gonna die in the dojo and the location of where the uncooked rice hit Ryan is where the bullet was fired.

[@treedeerthethingy4812]

@@basilmahyoub3607 Potentially, but I don't really feel I wanna give that much credit to the writers of this film.

[@blitzyblook3315]

how do you regularly leave it? i wanna know

[@treedeerthethingy4812]

@@blitzyblook3315 I think you either put them to the side or horizontally on top of the bowl.

[@camille1324]

Haha I doubt they bothered to hire any researchers

[@ghoulthefool4596]

ah, kurtis lake. my favorite place to visit in kurtistown

[@chupawup4517]

Ah to sit in kurtis park on a warm day and take a trip kurtis market just before going home to switch on kurtis news on kurtis tv.

[@theelectricant98]

you wouldnt understand. its a kurtsi thing

[@eid6584]

We need merch of a t shirt with a map of kurtistown with kurtis lake on it

[@yaelgarcia7018]

L _ ya know my favorite place in kurtistown is probably yee yee university

[@thanksman4897]

Kurtis lake was where I baptized my two children, Kurtis and Kurtis. They grow up so fast here in Kurtis town. They start YYU tomorrow *sheds a kurtis tear*

[@roria2219]

You know what Kurtis? It's very good to see *YOU* again.

[@Plsdontlook]

roria •ᴗ• fucking tell him !

[@pornesianparapio5145]

Jack Barnes // Yeah, now he has to suscribe to you roria

[@hussammustafa5267]

I'm getting Keanu Reeves vibes

[@cheshiregerena3060]

Next video we should mob the comments greeting him

[@tsukeyi]

@@cheshiregerena3060 yes

[@grilledcheese5000]

The fact that he is the ONLY person dressed like that is throwing me for a loop. Where tf did he get his inspiration for flannel, a rat tail, and those godawful socks if nobody he knows dresses like that??

[@starringakasha6966]

he's a trendsetter 😌

[@kpapi2454]

he went thrifting at goodwill

[@crazygirls9000]

white people genes apparently

[@aliaborders4146]

Lmao

[@notwerkinginthishouse8634]

@@crazygirls9000 "white people"

[@phoebe1025]

It’s like this movie couldn’t decide between being a disney flick, horny white boy movie, or a really racially-insensitive kung fu knock-off. Props to whatever ungodly trixter brought this idea to Earth

[@raimarulightning]

*trickster Trix are for kids, unlike this movie

[@IsabelPouw]

ofc its a white girl commenting on the racist bit, like obviously that shit is racist but let the minority groups being affected speak for themselves instead of all these white people with a mind boggling savior and godly complex come flooding to the comment section to point it out. just a thought. and idgaf that this comment is three years old, this is something that's bothered me for a while and i needed to get it off my chest.

[@ghostly_notion]

loki definitely was like “oh this will be fun”

[@GranolaBars11]

The fact that the movie is set "Somewhere in Asia," has Japanese characters, uses Japanese culture (ninja), but has a mix of Korean- and Chinese-style settings and uses a mixture of Korean and Japanese language for all of the writings tells me all that I need to know about it. The creators were too lazy to even pick research actual Japanese culture so they decided to throw in all the east Asian things lmao

[@errorfours]

welcome to east-asia town babey!!!

[@umbral_echo]

I scrolled down to the comments hoping to a comment like this lmao. I started laughing when I saw the ninja tryouts sign and saw it was in Korean. Also, the sign doesn't even have "ninja tryout" at all in the sign. The sign translates to "Recruitment of new members."

[@certainlynobody9287]

@@umbral_echo OH GOD I THOUGHT THE TWO YEARS IN WHICH I TOOK KOREAN WERE FOR NOTHING BC I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE IT SAID NINJA TRYOUT SO READING THIS COMMENT MADE ME SO RELIEVED

[@umbral_echo]

certainly nobody lmao it’s okay, just poor translation~

[@TuckyBlue]

It’s actually in nepal

[@daddy_warbux]

Corbin Bleu sang the words, “I don’t dance” while Ryan countered with the argument, “I say you can.” smh Kurtis

[@gracerogers9634]

daddy__warbuxx finally, somebody acknowledges the truth!!

[@necrofeline]

THANK YOU i was about to say the same. smh

[@josiesimon6161]

Im glad somebody said it

[@cordeliax8972]

i was on my way to comment that lmao

[@gargisharma1654]

tHANK YOU

[@PossiblyAlena]

“You can’t be a ninja if you’re a virgin.” -Kurtis Conner, 2019

[@izzymartino6319]

facts right there. facts.

[@leewhite4955]

I love taking out of context screenshots from Kurtis’s video. Some of my favourites are “oh drugging your boyfriend without his consent cool cool cool” and “blood type: puka”

[@redacted5078]

Oh noooo

[@Lol-frbiotch]

Still iconic almost 5 years later

[@josofina]

the stereotypical “oriental” music, japanese ninjas, korean writing, traditional chinese structures and clothing should tell you everything you need to know about this movie and it’s directors. jeez 😭

[@benjaminstevens4468]

Not to mention the kung fu

[@catherinedyaunka2640]

Also the sexualization of mostly asian women

[@sydniemartin8843]

kurtis you didnt say erectile dyspunchin and i am very sad about it

[@toyotapriuslvr69]

Erectile dysfightion would also work

[@sydniemartin8843]

@Anna Tomlinson thats genius

[@jennifernguyen8251]

also erectile dancefunction

[@youssef4170]

can some one explain???

[@youssef4170]

nvm

[@audrey6643]

Kurtis really does look dead inside every time he gives the extra greeting

[@cyanide_lollipop3264]

He secretly hates his subs.

[@rrtttln9884]

Just like he said, now he feels like he has to do it He's like forced to do it because otherwise the comment section would go wild in a negative way

[@theravenpirate4744]

Audrey wait? What extra greeting

[@cyanide_lollipop3264]

@@rrtttln9884 If the absence of his traditional greeting has a negative emotional effect on anyone, it's because they're morons. Lol

[@tei4724]

It's kinda like PhillyD with the throat punch thing.

[@leewhite4955]

- orphan found by man “somewhere in Asia” in random box - man somewhere in Asia owns restaurant of sorts - orphan ends up being a ninja Kung Fu Panda?

[@zmatics]

Hailey White holy fuck

[@bluebu2002]

- Villain who wants a scroll

[@leewhite4955]

Jesara Holt oh my god the hole keeps getting deeper

[@sashat3632]

Thats exactly what I was thinking

[@Cyphynte]

Villain was also trained by the guy who trains protagonist

[@eviehowlett2535]

as someone who used to practice circus arts, I know the hula hoop thing requires balance and strength to perfect. that said, it does look a little odd in a ninja movie.

[@oliviaf4411]

the LAST person i would have ever imagined you saying is "one of the property brothers" lmao what

[@skystygian]

I was fine up until one of the property brothers just showed up casually... my reality instantly broke and I am currently astral projecting as I type this from the shadow realm

[@ReservoirFibers]

That rat tail is literally a clip on. The color isn’t even right lol!

[@jedithekitten8891]

Reservoir Fibers Good.

[@ReservoirFibers]

It’s too funny lol!

[@ari1758]

Lmao! Ikr?!

[@kass_G59]

Well obviously 😂

[@ReservoirFibers]

Cuppa Tae I cant with it lol

[@MellSayzHi]

I don't know what shocked me more the Property Brother or the fact I was convinced Ryan was La Douche's son and there was gonna be this whole 'you may be my dad but you're not my father' y'know, an actual arc.

[@dollgrl]

*“somewhere in asia”* doesn’t this movie know they’re talking about a whole ass continent including completely different countries like india lmao

[@folieadont6870]

Plot twist, it was in Russia the entire time...

[@appalochian]

"somewhere in asia" > korean text everywhere

[@parkchimmin7913]

Lo Why are there ninjas in Korea lmao?

[@nana-qn1zc]

@@appalochian So is that place like a mixture of Korean and Japanese culture. MINDBLOWN lmao

[@whtenoize2847]

@@nana-qn1zc maybe its actually like chinatown in london or sumn

[@leahbobeaa]

Kurtis: I started saying that intro as a joke, and now I can never stop The citizens of Kurtistown: Except for that ONE time

[@shay2218]

I will always remember that moment where I thought... “Did he not do a second greeting?” And now it’s the stuff of legend.

[@Thaghettosprincess]

Me! When he didn’t say it that one time it hurt my heart ❤️ lol

[@thepeepeepoopooman5612]

What video was that?

[@leahbobeaa]

@@thepeepeepoopooman5612 I wish I could remember lol, I think it was before the pandemic tho. Just had to ask because of your name, do you watch CallMeKevin?

[@Rosia4309]

Except for those TWO times

[@seigeengine]

Did that guy just.... telekinetically throw a bowl of rice at someone via hip thrusts?

[@lukewarmlava2083]

Yes. Yes he did.

[@mrigaankamuch]

I havent seen the whole video but now I've seen this comment and now I MUST

[@Grace-px5ck]

I do that on Thursdays

[@voulajustme513]

PSYCHIC PELVIC THRUSTS!!!!

[@ToBe_Continued]

Norah Beattie Well of course the rice wasn't cooked. Have you tried getting cooked white rice out of clothing?

[@HerHollyness]

I feel like Lucas Grabeel did this to escape being stereotyped as ‘the gay one’ after Ryan. But like… this is not it, bro.

[@blokvader8283]

"I'm not gay, I swear, boobies are what give me energy, bro!"

[@hannahbrady6869]

Let’s be honest. I think my man just needed a paycheck 😂

[@tesseract5569]

He's not gay? Genuinely would have never guessed that

[@Graceeeejack]

This is just the plot of king fu Panda but with a high school musical twist.

[@unicornmagic8610]

anna barnes bro Ikr it’s the exact same plot hah

[@eloravanderwal7724]

Lmao that’s what I was thinking

[@fruittypun799]

Really? What part of it?

[@magster9338]

Lmao I was about to comment that 😂

[@moomiira]

idk which kung fu panda you watched but last time i checked, po didnt have to feel up some1's tiddies to be a ninja

[@alanephane1337]

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson? I prefer Kurtis 'The Lake' Conner.

[@ghy9rc754]

HAS NOBODY NOTICED THAT THIS IS EXACTLY KUNG FU PANDA BUT WITH HUMANS?!

[@camillecomtodooamor9751]

Wait. *The Rock and Dwayne Johnson are THE SAME PERSON?*

[@wolfandraven891]

@@ghy9rc754 Except with boobs

[@Orangesodawk]

Fantastic 16/10 Would totally read again

[@Heyitsjaybirdo]

Neil “The Grass” Tyson

[@dazedandconfused2557]

"If you're gonna have a main character of a movie, don't give him a rat tail dude" *sad Jedi noises*

[@dazedandconfused2557]

@Jenna W whoops, my bad

[@cosmicnic]

@Jenna W "you crumb" 💀

I was so raging man, I have a padawan braid man.

[@kiradozier5795]

smh anakin was different 😔

[@tri-angel]

This video is just rattail and sleeveless hoodie slander

[@harrystyles705]

"If you have a birthmark on your body that kind of looks like something, that's what you are, dude!" Kurtis re-discovers cutie marks

[@ariesmusic8584]

Kurtis the lake pony

[@VodkaMutini413]

That'd make me a lobster😂 I guess it's time to be livin like Larry🦞

[@Recyclablee]

“Why didn’t Elise Estrada dance with Kurtis in 7th grade” Top ten questions science still can’t answer

[@mirbear72]

*appears in Elise Estrada’s wired interview*

[@snailsoren]

so he's trying to be a ninja, but i see korean letters and a lot of chinese things in this movie .. what

[@marebear0323]

zimzalatte exactly. i tried to put it in google translate but it literally doesnt even make up anything. i also translated “ninja tryouts today” and it is no where near what it says lol 😂

[@hana_hayashi]

Crow but ninjas are japanese?

[@zamiraroza1975]

zimzalatte and ninjas and geishas are Japanese

[@cheyennepetersen3417]

that's because it's "somewhere in asia" because wildly diverse cultures are all the same right

[@Shmaples]

Yeah i assumed it was China and then I saw the Hangul everywhere and the guy was talking about ninjas and geisha and wtf.. I guess they weren't kidding when they said "somewhere in Asia" lmao.. He lives in an amalgamation of China, Korea and Japan apparently. Honestly it doesn't only come across as lazy but also really rude to treat it like every culture from Asia are all basically the same thing and can be interchanged randomly. sigh. I also don't understand why the main actor couldn't be an Asian person.. we so rarely see it in western media and the actor being white really has no baring on the story anyway... they didn't have to do it.

[@junkoenoshima7093]

*korean symbols* *japanese ninjas* *chinese flags and buildings* *very American man* Makes sOo much sense

[@aishwaryap.2230]

Mr. Worldwide

[@farting358]

nice pfp

[@junkoenoshima7093]

@@farting358 haha you too man.

[@azag2422]

exactly like wow so much research is put in this fking movie

[@destinysaye5217]

@@aishwaryap.2230 i screamed lmaoooo

[@Magna_Carta5]

He never, at any point, hit the correct DDR arrows. Even when they pretended he was a "good" dancer, still missed every single arrow. I would know, I used to do "End of the Century" on maniac, I'm something of a DDR expert. Lol

[@ZX3000GT1]

Even bigger issue - not only that's Pump it Up and not DDR, that machine looks stupid - 2 twin pads are mashed together

[@birdeynamnam]

it’s weird seeing a movie with the main plot being Ryan Is Straight, when he was definitely gay in the prequels

[@britneyspearstodrick1460]

because Ryan from HSM is gay NOT ick, a character in a completely different movie. also "Ryan" isn't always going to play characters that are gay, it's called being diverse and playing different types of characters

[@alexanderpumpkin3423]

Yeah Ryan is defiantly gay.

[@kaylabusley8870]

Samara Healey legit 😂

[@okibelieveyou7047]

@@britneyspearstodrick1460 she/he probably knows that they just find it strange seeing they're favorite actor play this type of character

[@guy.7875]

ok I believe you, use they/them pronouns because you don’t know if they identify with he/she pronouns

[@TheAmorable]

“If you’re gonna have a main character don’t give him a rat tail.” Anakin: **Sweating**

[@blokvader8283]

Ikr, that's every Padawan

[@ariellemarie6645]

That’s the only acceptable rat tail cause Anakin was hot.

[@gingergamer3270]

He really should stay away from lava then (because of the sweating). I'll see myself out, stop booing

[@ironmaster6496]

yet the moment he cut it off he bacame evil...HMMMMMM

[@SlimThief]

​@@gingergamer3270 I will not stop booing

[@maggiecarlson8244]

Kurtis I will stop at nothing to make sure you know about this gem called *food boy* the most cinematic and genius film ever created

[@maggiecarlson8244]

Ps it also has our lord Ryan from hsm

[@brbcallingsora]

@@maggiecarlson8244 mhm best movie ever

[@twenty-sevenblue7124]

Please kurtis watch that movie

[@malabambii]

OMG YES YES YES

[@certifiedspacebisexual]

i loved that movie when i was like 10

[@rolanslide8509]

"Ryan had a song called I Don't Dance in HSM2 so why is he dancing" how dare you misinterpret Ryan's profession of love for Chad in this way

[@jakub.kantner]

Scrolled to far for this comment

[@ellahoughton6812]

not a day goes by that I don’t think about “women ain’t property, brother” I’m crying just typing this

[@lillybarber8737]

this is my official request for sleeveless hoodie merch

[@jenna8923]

lilly barber it should have one of the property brothers on it

[@maddie5329]

THIS 🙌

[@awkwardathena434]

This movie was literally written buy a 14 year old boy; nothing else makes sense

[@joutatheegg]

Very true

[@loyalsdopeness8106]

No I will not buy a 14 year old boy

[@anaalina5964]

by* not "buy".

[@NellieCollier]

U right

[@hibao2414]

This comment was written by a 14 year old

[@Kookiiss]

"He has a rat tail" *future Kurtis laughing in mullet*

[@DocBree13]

💀

[@juliemishchuk2589]

"because he doesnt want his face to get renovated by one of the property brothers" 😂

[@lunadoodles8810]

"he doesn't want to get his face renovated by the property brothers" oh my god i'm crying

[@hissingfaunaa]

Hey tim, for launch party, the blue, green, and white rockets all go on a count of 1,2,3. Red still goes on a 1,2,3,4. In screwbot factory, if you don’t already have a perfect, for the grey bots, the pattern is 1(grab),2(hold),3(release),4(Wait) the white ones are 1(grab),2(release),3(Wait),4(Wait)

[@corah7392]

@@hissingfaunaa Wtf

[@heylol9166]

Dont cry 😔 be happy 😩

[@fuckcontinentals]

@@hissingfaunaa why you talking about rythm heaven

[@aurorajenkins444]

“women ain’t property, brother” subscribed.

[@lemoncholy3264]

Aurora Jenkins congrats :) you now get an extra greeting

[@nothinghappens9811]

That won me over as well.

[@HazeLmao]

Ikr finally a youtuber without slaves! i’m so tired of finding a new youtuber only to discover they have multiple women being kept as property!

[@blaseentertainment8863]

Haze IKR, this ALWAYS happens.

[@neafeels3116]

I read this as “women ain’t property,brother subscribed” and got really confused

[@RedOshawott23]

21:28 Missed opportunity to say “LaDouche is LaDead”. Stupid but would’ve been funny.

[@graciebrade3191]

kurtis PLEASE review the adventures of food boy, it also stars high school musical ryan and it is by far the worst movie ever made, it includes iconic scenes like the one where he cry’s alone in a bathroom after he shoots bread out of his hands. truly a cinematic masterpiece

[@christalcavanaugh]

Honestly that’s what I thought this was for some reason. I’ve only seen him in HSM and Switched at Birth

[@katherynlynne]

poor Ryan. Sharpay keeps stealing all the good roles in movies:(

[@soy3325]

I remember watching that movie when i was around 10 thinking it was the shit

[@sweettea3879]

Food Boy was a guilty pleasure tbh✨

[@jusdoriange7930]

Lmao I wanted to comment this as well, a WILD RIDE

[@crapbag7161]

drew from the property brothers playing the girls bf is the best icing on the cake i could ask for

[@paytonnderson]

SAME

[@northshorekatienorthshorek1709]

Wait, since he fights in his sleep, and fights when he sees girls... does that mean he was dreaming about girls every time he fought in his sleep?!

[@sharenquacker23]

Or maybe everytime he sees women he starts to sleep

[@nothinghappens9811]

Oh God, no. He's dreaming about beating up women.

[@matthewbartlett3442]

He’s obviously experiencing his first wet dream in that first scene

[@dealwitit6563]

oh my god that actually makes sense in this twisted universe

[@iguesslol6637]

Man what bad day to have eyes!!

[@neonflights5951]

You know, watching this video in 2022, after the Atlanta Spa shootings, I feel like this movie encapsulates/is rife with the unessacary sexualization of asian women+ the exploitation of asian women (his adoptive mother and his adoptive father making videos of her aren't played off as them even just having fun, but they're depicted as directly making and marketing softcore p0rn. And while there's nothing wrong with that in real life, the way its depicted in this movie is really, extremely problematic for a lot of its insinuations). Especially with the way that the white male protag "unlocks" his powers by groping/ogling asian women's bodies. It gets even worse with the two asian women actively FIGHTING for him. Not for anything actually related to the plot, they're just fighting each other because they thirst for him, for some fucking reason. Its toxic and represents everything wrong about the way that media has depicted asian women, the way their bodies are objectified and utilized as a means to an end for the benefit of men, and the cringe fantasies of asian women viewing each other as competition over a random ass boy.

[@maribethmorgan7886]

:/ This was a very insightful and heartbreaking comment. Movies depict actions that literally fall under assault and sexual coercion towards women all the time, and they paint it as light hearted fun. It’s very troubling to me that I have had to define what r*pe, SA, and sexual pressure is to some men who are genuinely good intentioned people but society normalized actions that are disgusting and evil. This movie is repulsive for not only that reason, but because it’s geared towards young men. It takes that perspective towards women and turns the lens on Asian women in a way that is uniquely dangerous. The constant sexualization, infantilization, submissiveness, and normalized and ENCOURAGED sexual assault is reflected in the way tv, movies, media, anime, and (mostly) white men treat Asian women. I really hope that one day there is a push to hold these types of depictions accountable for the assaults, attacks, and prejudice towards Asian women. This movie as a whole, and any movie that usually depicts a white hero in an Asian country usually is centered around just dog shitting on Asian culture…and I can’t even imagine being Asian and seeing that terrible depiction everywhere. I remember the terrible ways kids would tease Asian students, and I know most of it comes from these types of movies. Thank you for your comment, as much as I love kurtis, sometimes I wish he would give deeper takes when there’s so much disgusting shit involved in a movie or whatever it is he’s talking about.

[@AK-mo9pj]

The fact that these sort of movies are made for kids, maybe teens, just, dear lord, what even is the thought processes behind this? Writers for these sort of kid/ teen movies can tell any story, literally anything else, but they keep doing racist crap over and over? Who greenlights this sort of trash?

[@hayley6236]

I'm so tired of the hypersexualisation of women's bodies, I'm so tired

[@raimarulightning]

Wild that that's what made you realise this.

[@juliejackson557]

"hey property brother! women ain't property..... BROTHER" I frickin cackled

[@aspeno6576]

FOLKS!! *claps aggressively, causing an 8.5 magnitude earthquake*

[@999babydoll]

Aspen O i can hear this

[@tazzygirl44]

do u also clap along with him like i do? #citizenofkurtistown

[@van5122]

I love youuuu💜

[@999babydoll]

Dana Whittles absolutely

[@etheriusmoon1809]

@@tazzygirl44 yes indeed

[@eri5867]

I'm surprised they were even able to get asian actors for this offensive ass movie

[@elwiwi43]

Ikr

[@damaigyin1273]

money

[@karaleigh_eva]

I think it’s too shitty to be offensive

[@jasperrosa1369]

The fact that the setting is "somewhere in asia" proves that

[@slimyfarts5630]

a paycheck is a paycheck i guess

[@charliecaruso344]

I just can’t stop laughing at the sentence: “anime dad is being interrogated by le douche.” 😂😂😂

[@Random-sk6hm]

I actually peed a little reading this comment 😭

[@belasundead]

Your seventh grade picture looks like Jim from The Office.

[@ellathewolfgirl]

a clever name he still kind of looks like him honestly

[@andreacaininstinct]

Imagine reading that script and realizing what you'd signed up for

[@Machouseproductions]

This is like Kung Fu Panda except it's less culturally sensitive, less mature, but more horny for some reason.

[@sameerakhanna2602]

I was literally searching for a comment like this. Why isnt anybody talking about how it's so similar to Kung Fu Panda😂

[@ghostisnotaghost8873]

@@sameerakhanna2602 nobody wants to insult kung fu panda like that

[@Champion_Vapor]

its like kung fu panda but everything good about it is gone

[@shrub5770]

@@Champion_Vapor "Kung Fu Panda, but everything about it is bad."

[@NeutralGuyDoubleZero]

Was literally gonna comment how every parent buying these stupid kung and ninja parodies for their kids needs to just get kung fu panda. It's such an opposite to this in the best way possible lol

[@myloveisgod]

this whole movie sounds like a fever dream, but i lost my fucking mind when a property brother came out

[@mari150ful]

Imagine... being the poor Lucas Grabeel and having Dancing Ninja movie part of your legacy as an actor. That's worse than a rattail dude.

[@DrakeTheDrizz]

Isn't he also in a movie about being son of some mermaid lady that left him stranded when he was young? Or am I thinking of some other dude?

[@mari150ful]

@@DrakeTheDrizz really? Omg who the hell was his manager

[@glitterrspit]

DrakeTheDrizz are you talking about the movie The Thirteenth Year? Bc that was some other actor named Chez Starbuck

[@pris1145]

He's also part of Foodboy😂 At least he has HSM as a part of his legacy as an actor

[@styxzayyad3854]

What did both him and his manager think?

[@zolengeb.7629]

“Somewhere in Asia” okay cool, I’ll assume they’re in Uzbekistan

[@emiliew5553]

they're obviously in Dubai, nuh doy

[@000-i7j]

Yo wait that’s my home country this is the first time I’ve heard anyone even remotely know where that is lmao I think this is neat

[@bipo819]

Cool they are now in North Korea

[@mikaroni_and_cheez]

Wow they're in the majority of Kazakhstan

[@Daniel-gh4sq]

No they are in the heart of mother russia

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

6:49 kurtis doesn’t know his hsm lore. in that song, _ryan_ was encouraging one of the _jocks_ to dance, chad, who was convinced that _he_ couldn’t dance.

[@crappy-doodle3894]

I thought I was the only one who noticed!

[@lvbboi9]

S t a n

[@mf1672]

I say we cancel him again for this mistake

[@aidanbrace]

I’ve been scrolling the comments for like five minutes trying to see if anyone else saw that.

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

@@aidanbrace as a chyan connoisseur, of course i noticed. i have listened to that song… far too many times.

[@tacticalmisandrist]

Dude 🤦🏻‍♀️ even the rice bowl with the chopsticks sticking straight up is offensive, it’s like they went out of their way to use every problematic stereotype or misinterpretation of Japanese culture

[@onmyaveragejoesht507]

i really liked the soft boy edit of kurtis during the extra greeting.. *but he’s become the very thing he set out to destroy*

[@ramentaco9179]

i blinked and god left Kurtis is just an eBoy who puts more effort into his videos

[@brynnmccollister3568]

i am like a baby. i like repetition. consistency. his intros keep me entertained.

[@ninacael]

This comment gives me joy

[@draculuu]

Brynn McCollister Object Permanence on fleek 🔥🔥

[@tori_chiken]

I’m screaming the tryouts sign was in Korean but ninjas are Japanese and the gym has Chinese banners FFUCDKDKDJJF

[@deedeexYT]

Why does this always happen

[@seigeengine]

probably because nobody cared what language the signs actually were in, as it wasn't an important element of the story.

[@dottyContrarian]

@@seigeengine *woah there, a little aggressive*

[@seigeengine]

@@scr1be_iv because you totally had any kind of intelligent response to mine, and weren't just bitching. Fuck right off with that shit.

[@assballs731]

Patricia Cayton FUCKIDNG DEADASSISJHD

[@thefinkie6459]

Omg, I saw this movie playing in the children's section of a massive ferry while I was on a school trip. It was the most hilarious journey I've experienced. Whoever was in charge of the movies must have had a DVD player and a stack of DVDs in the control room, but they didn't have a remote control. So they'd put in a typical children's movie, like Ice Age, and fiddle around with the buttons on the machine, going up, down, left right for about 10 minutes without finding the play button, then they'd give up and move on to the next DVD. Dancing Ninja was the only one that finally worked, and by that time we were already almost dead from laughter from just watching the helpless struggle with the DVD machine. Then witnessing this weird-ass film that is most definitely NOT a children's film being broadcast on a public ferry was tbh the highlight of the school trip, and remains an iconic moment of my school history.

[@omon1128]

This is just a 30 year old weeb's fever dream

[@morcoroni]

Meme Machine underrated comment

[@Xvladin]

Not enough lolis

[@omon1128]

@Ari A. Or maybe it's the dude who posted the "beaten up by Chinese Chad" story's fever dream

[@Lucien_M]

This is just Naruto but if you only watched pervy sensei

[@heylol9166]

nahh this movie is like shot in Korea and they are chinese??? saying somewhere in japan. LMFAO

[@netti6010]

* raised somewhere in Asia since a baby by Asian parents * - *has American accent* - *dresses American* - *seems to not understand anything about Asian culture* makes sense.

[@katelivewire]

Me honestly HAHA

[@nickv.3573]

Wut

[@ezraf.7759]

and white as fuck

[@leewhite4955]

It makes perfect sence. I was born and raised in the United States by white parents and I don’t speak a single word of English.

[@alexjames4704]

I was raised in Vietnam by white parents but I am Vietnamese. My parents even tho they lived there for years don’t speak Vietnamese. I don’t know anything about Vietnamese culture. Where I live in Vietnam everyone dresses in jeans and t shirts “American” like. I have an American accent and don’t speak Vietnamese. It’s a bit confusing but it’s a way of life.

[@Pepperroni08]

"Somewhere in Asia" was it too hard to just pick one place, one city? Ninjas are Japanese, the whole setting is Chinese, except signs are apparently in Korean. I'm disgusted

[@w3ymouth526]

nah dude have you seen "Call Me by Your Name"? theyre just "somewhere in nothern italy" in the movie, no specific place

[@w3ymouth526]

thats what the book was called but im pretty sure they set place in a specific city in the movie

[@ke6279]

smolbeanharry italy is a generally small country. asia is a huge continent. big difference

[@squawkington9369]

smolbeanharry I think “Northern Italy”, a region of a country, is a little more specific than “Asia”, a huge fucking continent. 🤯

[@str4yk1dsw0rldd0minati0n]

Lara Maria And I’m pretty sure there’s some in Tai

[@sidthompson9538]

I think it’s hilarious that who you first saw “Ryan“ as in a movie severely changes how you see this movie. Because I saw him in food boy before HSM, so I will never see him as anything but food boy.

[@lane7254]

if you told me before watching this video that a *property brother* was in a shitty ninja movie i would NOT have believed you but here we are

[@rachelneeld]

Do SPF-18. It has ya favorite soft boi Noah Centineo and makes absolutely no sense.

[@marla0412]

dude it is such a pointless movie, i had to stop watching it because it was so dumb

[@cayden114]

centimeter*

[@dr.ebtessamfarooq7231]

*chameleon

[@elllied_]

it was weird but i enjoyed it lmfao

[@eleniwalter3921]

oh my god yes please do it

[@stabbingtacos7456]

Ryan: Has a wet Dream Ryan: Sleep fights

[@andrademarianna]

yo you might have done something here

[@Elori92]

The fact that 'ninja tryout' was written in Korean makes me laugh so much

[@Parker.-.]

Not once did Ryan ever hit one of those arrows. Even when he was supposed to be an amazing dancer.

[@SuperXXovieXX]

the property brother showing up made me laugh for a good five minutes

[@rachelh272]

Kara Brooks mttttt

[@AlexisBuhler]

DUDE SAME I WAS SENT

[@SuperXXovieXX]

alexis buhler LIKE WHAT IS HE DOING

[@butterflypaint4332]

Same

[@BrooklynnJBlyth]

ME TOO like wtf is he doing in this lmaoo

[@BlackCampariBlue]

Kurtis always says "I'm almost done, I promise" as if we're forced to watch these videos. We enjoy watching your videos dude!

[@afooz]

Lol I just figured it was about being close to the end of the sucky movie

[@miakpupgigi6489]

Wait so does this mean that all the female ninjas are bi or gay? You have to date a girl to be a ninja.....

[@DocBree13]

Not date, per se

[@vakarebaranauskaite6691]

Id be a great female ninja then lmao

[@avril6922]

So Kimi lost her powers when she fucked Ryan

[@yippee.skippyx3]

YAY I CAN BE A NINJA!!

[@JoshuaDuncan-o1u]

Lesbian ninjas :D

[@maddieh4882]

as someone who has only seen this dude as ryan in high school musical it’s bizarre to see him as anything but a Home of Sexual

[@homestuckkinnie3671]

he's just a very closeted homosexual in this movie

[@sadlittleratboy]

Isn't his actor also gay?

[@sherlock7898]

TheBaronOfNothing the actor himself is not gay. Although the director of High School Musical recently revealed that his character Ryan was gay all along. It feels a bit like JK Rowling to me though.

[@CassTeaElle]

@@sherlock7898 uh... I don't see how that's comparable to Rowling at all. Ryan was super effeminate. I would honestly be more surprised if they tried to say they didn't intend for him to be gay.

[@sherlock7898]

Author Cassie Beebe I think it’s not very brave to say it years after the fact but not to mention anything at the time to make sure you get those Disney bucks.

[@leahelizabeth7861]

ok i LOST IT when one of the actors was a property brother... like WHAT IS THIS MOVIE LMFAO

[@mayagarcia-hector2732]

WAIT when

[@ellabruer2327]

me too LMFAO i got second hand embarrassment

[@prettybaby_7]

was he having a midlife crisis or something?

[@normalguy246]

"he doesn't wanna get his face renovated" is honestly one of the funniest lines I've heard in a long time

[@theresivy]

17:03 missed opportunity to say “what the *puck* is this movie”

[@hhhh-pz9uj]

“women ain’t property, brother” how do i subscribe to someone twice?

[@username-mk4qv]

Simp jk I ain’t a fucking 8-year-old

[@excuseu2563]

Reanne Argh they had in the first half not gonna lie

[@Jasminekuwonu]

Make another account

[@skooter__]

@@username-mk4qv omg I was boutta go off

[@PolyPocketPole]

Join

[@eleanorhayden6910]

I can't stop crying laughing at "because he didn't want to get his face renovated"

[@jennanigon3761]

Eleanor Hayden same 😂

[@TheSleigherKing]

You can see him smiling near the end of that line. He can't hide the fact that he thought his own joke was funny.

[@rivermcd]

petition for Kurtis to make merch that says Kurtis town: proud home of the sixth great lake ⬇️

[@deademochicky]

Better yet his face as the lake

[@papaya3642]

ID LOVW THAT

[@sallyearnshaw3439]

id wear that

[@SmokenHash]

17:21 What do ya mean? Hasselhoff is well known for his cover of hooked on a feeling, they didn't need another reason to put it in the movie. It was just permanently embedded in early 2000s culture.

[@greeniiee9255]

I can’t believe one of the property brothers is in this movie like I LOST IT WHEN HE SHOWED UP HA

[@melaniecelaya546]

SAME HSJWKEK

[@reb2544]

movie is like a fever dream

[@greeniiee9255]

This movie shouldn’t exist but I’m glad it does

[@realcoolgirl8048]

its funny how there are ninjas (japanese) but it looks like its filmed in korea

[@defsouul3127]

I thought the same. That’s probably why they said they were Somewhere in Asia instead of Japan so they couldn’t get called out on it

[@realcoolgirl8048]

Jmo “somewhere in asia” almost sounds worse lmao

[@zambake5227]

was about to comment the same

[@choiwyd848]

Not to mention at 5:08 the sign is in Korean 🗿

[@porcirain9143]

@@defsouul3127 but that just makes it seem like they don't know the geography of Asia

[@luna732]

Kurtis: The Most Confusing Movie I Have Ever Seen Neil Breen Movies: *exist*

[@samlouwagie3899]

Don’t even say that name, my laptops are shaking

[@CyanFairyWren]

"Kurtis: The Most Confu-" Neil Breen: I did my best to confuse my admirers with quick scene changes after the climax of its story- AM I A JOKE TO YOU?

[@juliaparks121]

13:00 is what I sound like trying to describe a dream I had

[@tall_child3214]

Remember "Ryan's" name is is Icky

[@sh0tgunsh1pping]

His name is Icky because he has a rat tail and wears sleeveless hoodies

[@tall_child3214]

uh oh lol true

[@alyssenunemaker1125]

I wonder if they treated the property brothers like other twins in movies..? Like when one gets cranky they swap the other one in to do a scene while the first one takes a nap and gets probably a snack or something..?

[@emilytalerman3567]

I can’t that’s so funny

[@pandyrocks1]

hell yeaa super early, this is how you get a 4.0 GPA at Yee Yee University my dudes

[@PBthesquirrel]

20:33 "Figure it out, man." I've revently learned how Canadian this sentence is. Watch Letterkenny

[@translucentbear]

As a gay bloke, unable to harvest the power of perving on 2 dimensional female characters, I'll never achieve my dream of being a ninja.

[@ellagreene1742]

underrated comment 👏😂

[@fkhan2006]

Lmaoo

[@Anna-zz4mr]

i cry laughed at this

[@virginiacanfield2307]

as a lesbian, sucks to be u lol

[@ninaplaksin9089]

@@virginiacanfield2307 We hold all the power >:)

[@julialacerda8883]

I totally broke when property brother showed up, I just couldnt stop laughing

[@glugonmyslug8514]

Watch RODEO and JULIET (It's exactly what you think it is)

[@endeavor1664]

yee yee

[@parodethan6285]

ah shit, here we go again

[@thanksman4897]

That title...omg

[@urdeadgff]

AH THIS MOVIE WAS EWJDNHWEBCHWJEBX

[@illailla5813]

Wtf hahaha

[@elisa.alexander]

So my name is Elisa, but because of the way Kurtis says “Elise Estrada” instead of the just “Elise,” the beginning of Estrada makes it sound like an ‘a’ at the end and I feel so much secondhand flattery it’s actually great. Like thanks dude, I was born in Boston but sure I’ll be a Canadian Queen:3

[@cervantes6910]

David Hasselhoff, Drew Scott, Ryan from High School Musical and Ken Tanaka from Glee are such a dream cast

[@fatimagutierrez888]

Cervantes ikr

[@kylesunshine2731]

Segaaa

[@glitterrspit]

Cervantes a fever dream

[@iB-lm9kq]

in such a nightmare movie 😂

[@minaprudhomme1387]

Cervantes i was just waiting for someone to mention ken tanaka from glee

[@angrybunnies9664]

I have trouble suspending my disbelief that Ryan from High School Musical is attracted to women.

[@michaelhaydenbell]

Yeahhh...that just made everything 10x more off-putting.

[@victoriaodegaard1]

And the actor has a longtime girlfriend too

[@starzies]

there is no heterosexual explanation for this

[@miamiric6051]

Ginger Hernandez Why lol

[@Crabernacker]

@@miamiric6051 have you seen high school musical?

[@NinjaXchacha15]

Imagine cold-reading that script, and being like, "yeah."

[@Sevenigma777]

The best thing when you find a creator like Kurtis for the first time is that there is years worth of content to binge!