The Most Powerful Way to Protect Your Kids from Pathological Narcissism

The Most Powerful Way to Protect Your Kids from Pathological Narcissism
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book
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So many people write in with questions about how they can protect their children from parents or relatives with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or other personality disorders.
They're terrified, with good reason, that even if their ex or other relative isn't physically abusive, their self-involved behaviors, lying, and manipulation will hurt their children emotionally.The good news is that you have far more power to protect your children than you may realize.
We already know from research what drives pathological narcissism--and we know even more about what protects children emotionally from traumatic experiences we may not be able to prevent--and for many of us, that means mitigating the damage our children may suffer at the hands of a partner we ourselves left precisely because of their abusive or neglectful nature.
In this video I describe:
- the one approach guaranteed to protect your children emotionally no matter what adversity or emotional--and even physical- danger they face
--the type of parenting mostly likely to promote that approach
--the strategy you need to prevent yourself from becoming more narcissistic if you're the child of a narcissistic parent.
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[@xplxy]

This made me cry. It only takes one parent. It could be you. Yes it is me! I will do all I can to protect my 6 year old daughter.

[@stillwaters9456]

I cried also, for the obvious pain my 3 year old son is experiencing, his struggles as he now splits his time with his mother and I, but also out of relief that what I do makes a difference, my heart and soul has been crushed by thinking that I'm losing my influence on him and what all of this holds for his future but this video has given me strength and hope. Yesterday I showed my son a video I put together of his birth through his first year. He started crying, saying that he wants to go back to those times, I cried with him and held him tight and told him I do too, I told him I loved him, that he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and that I am here no matter what. Keep up the good work!

[@pamelapap]

Omg. I was literally about to cry just like you when I looked at comments n saw your comment. I feel your pain. My son is 6 too. I never feared anything in my life more than thinking my son could be like his father.

[@AngelaWoolsey]

❤️

[@annafink2245]

It's so frustrating having to carry all the weight of keeping your child sane and protecting them. This also made me tear up.

[@shineindarkness7273]

@@stillwaters9456 I started sobbing whilst reading and resonating with this, thank you... 🙏🏾

[@kevinhornbuckle]

Attend to the bonding needs of your children by understanding authoritative parenting and practicing it. But also, undertake projects and adventures which cause you to rely upon each other. My son's mother is a narcissist, and that put my son at risk. I taught him juggling and we juggled a lot together. Intense focus and cooperation is required to do that. Also we went camping and hiking a lot. And we played musical duets together. He's twenty now and away at university. He calls me when he's troubled or needs advice, or just to say hello and, "I love you, dad." Finally, honesty builds trust. Be honest with your kids and expect them to be honest with you. The narcissistic parent teaches them to lie in order to use them as a weapon against you. You have to resist this by holding your kids accountable.

[@CraigMalkin]

Excellent example of authoritative parenting and promoting attachment security. It's sounds like you did an amazing job!!

[@kevinhornbuckle]

+Dr. Craig Malkin Thank you. He's on full scholarship in Chicago studying jazz, and has a stable relationship and a job he enjoys. His accomplishments are all his own. I told him that if he becomes a dad, he'll thoroughly enjoy it and do a super job.

[@k.silberberg5137]

I feel you ...

[@roxannerodriguez7075]

❤❤❤❤❤ I came to hear the video, and it helps tremendously! I wasn't expecting anything out of reading through the comments as I typically do... But your comment does as well! I needed to read/hear just the piece of advice that you decided to share! Thank you!! I hope to remember your words often when worrying about my children. Find something that requires us to work together, be honest and expect honesty, and hold them (and myself) responsible! Hey! How would you approach multiple children? Would you find ways to require all of us to depend on each other and work together as a group? And 1:1 with each child as well? Or would you focus more on the 1:1 work with each child?

[@iamwomanhearmeroar7538]

My children age 5-10 are told by other parent to not tell me lie or keep this secret from mommy. Often one child spills the beans , so to speak, causing other child to get mad at sibling words used are dont say that, your not supposed to day that (my eldest), I'm telling dad said it's a secret (my yougest). I've researched fair amount , on how to respond. Can you reply speak to this? Would love your thoughts. Bottom line I cant change him, this will continue, right or wrong, but I can change me and respond best way I can based on your reply and my research

[@andreaguedes3186]

The only problem is when the narcissistic parent in my case ex husband is fully alienating children! No matter how much I try to focus on my relationship with my children, parental alienation hurts tremendously and it is more damaging!

[@rinelljames-ponceleon8309]

I am going through a rough time having left my narcissistic husband a year ago. I took 3 of our 4 children as my eldest has been badly affected by her dad, she was used to physically abuse me for the father could not do it himself. My eldest son age 12, who is with me is now, is displaying his father's narcissistic behaviour and I am learning how to correct it and guide him. Very difficult at the moment for we have been homeless for a year now, bouncing from place to place, the father is not helping financially as a matter of fact he has been running away from the courts. Thank you for the video and it just confirmed what I suspected, my son needs loving structure and a balanced mum, hard under the circumstances but achievable. Much love...

[@audreydupuy2628]

I agree, my mom was the only one to provide unconditional love and support. And I don't have narcissism, which my father had.

[@itallaboutme773]

Audrey Dupuy thank you that give strange now coz I’m the one doing everything for my poor 4 kids with 2 father not in their life, this ppl are really crazy like seriously after this all this to them they still acting like a boss like you own them something. Just fellow your mum path and ignore your narcissist father.

[@alexkuieh1565]

I often listen to this presentation before sleep, as a form of meditation and prayer for my daughters. I am starting to recover my former self after 13 years of emotional abuse and a very savage discard. Thank you, Dr. Malkin.

[@jasonsel773]

Better 13 years than the rest of yr life. Hope u feel better and continue til u feel gr8 again. Are u seeing someone for help?

[@dwachira]

Thank you! Very very reassuring. I've been worried sick for my children. Attachment security for my children is what I've been working on and I'm happy to know it is good protection for them. I've felt helpless for some time. Thank you!

[@CraigMalkin]

You're so welcome. Glad you found it helpful! I have a chapter on 8 Keys to Raising Happy Self-Confident Kids (modeling authoritative parenting)

[@dwachira]

Dr. Craig Malkin Dr. Craig Malkin I will look for the 8 keys and I can't thank you enough. God Bless You BIG and add you wisdom.

[@rachp5176]

The ex has rejected his own children so i no longer have to worry about this. I was very hurt and angry at first but now i see this as a blessing. Be blessed.

[@mazybell1343]

I would call that blessed beyond measure ...

[@daniellemelendez3544]

Those children have dodged a huge bullet.

[@alimowlana8375]

So blessed. My husband wudnt leave

[@deljeane2204]

How did you achieve this mine is using my children as pawns I pray for their release everyday

[@vanniplayz]

I pray for this everyday, I would think that therapy for abandonment would be much easier to overcome for my son, than therapy for emotional and psychological abuse plus manipulation....

[@R76LT]

Thank you for this. After 17 years of living together, I'm going through a divorce I hope to survive. Last couple of years in hell with severely depresed abusive wife I became a wreck myself. Have two kinds, it took me a year to decide to leave her as life became almost unbearable for me, can't keep any longer. I'm really concerned how to save my children from becoming damaged by her, abused, gaslighted, etc. I really hope you are right int the video and I'll try my best to be as close as possible to my kids for them to grow healthy individuals. Thank you. That gave me some hope that everything will be ok with them.

[@CraigMalkin]

For those of you wondering, though I corrected myself later, I misspoke the first time I cited Sue Johnson and said responsible* (although that's important of course) accessible and engaged. It's actually *responsive*. Easy to remember as accessible, responsive, and engaged: *ARE* --what Dr. Johnson calls "Are you there for me?" experiences.

[@state924]

I’m not worried about my child becoming a narcissist. This video pretty much showed me that I’m already in the authoritative parenting mindset. What I am worried about is my child being hurt by her father’s narcissistic abuse. Where can I go to learn about protecting her?

[@itallaboutme773]

state924 yeah I feel that too from my ex that why I don’t trust leaving them with him

[@elegantblue19]

Same my biggest fear for my daughter

[@iamwomanhearmeroar7538]

I too have the ARE secure attachment authoritative parenting down pat (I dont mean in a narc way..lol..I mean in a long journey research reading much counseling way). W all.my doubt I can say I am a good mom, perhaps even better despite and maybe even bc of other parents mental/personality disorder. Plse tho speak elaborate explain the markers of when the other parents npd is effecting your children (5-8yrs) despite secure attachment w main stable parent and or what can we do to proactively to help offset effect? Ie counseling for children, etc

[@Misanthropologie]

Document everything and give her a sense of safety around talking about it

[@monicacruz4407]

Shout this from the rooftops. Essential information for every parent, not just those affected by NPD

[@samn6918]

I needed this. I worry so much for my sons. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@ZuheySerrano]

Thank you so much. This has saved me from a lot of grief!!! I was praying for an answer since last night after hearing some news and this only confirmed what I was already doing but was afraid It would fail because of the manipulative strength the narc has. I will continue to practice this and keep trusting God for the best outcome.

[@jtner]

Wow!! This worked. I tried it 3 weeks ago and now it doesn’t matter what the narc does, whether I’m present or not, they can’t hurt my son. He still gets angry, but he has a way out now. What a relief. Thanks Dr. Malkin.

[@esthervanrijswijk629]

I cannot express the relief and joy I feel from watching this video. In 15 minutes you have removed a deeply held fear that I’ve had for over a decade. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us all; it’s life changing.

[@sarawinger6542]

This was so helpful. You've given me hope for my boys is my attachment and love for them!

[@kellygrasso1224]

Thank you for this. It gives me confidence in my parenting and helps me to be confident in spite of a very difficult divorce with a vulnerable narcissist. I'm not going to worry about the damage he's done, I'm going to move forward, continue to protect my family, and provide the support and love that I always have. Narcissists can make people doubt themselves.

[@sunofpeter2]

God be with you , it was good to see your response. I feel that way now, I have been siclk with worry but now I feel that I can be there for my baby boy no matter what his mother or life throws at him. I hope things are going well for you and your loved ones. God bless you

[@michellemeer5600]

Thank you for the insightful video. I am in a custody battle with my narcissistic husband (soon to be ex). I have been reluctantly preparing for a costly, vicious war to protect my children, but with this information I feel tremendous relief. They consistently receive emotional support and acceptance from me, and definitely a healthy secure attachment. This is wonderful news, thank you for sharing, it is life-changing!

[@CraigMalkin]

So glad you found it helpful and healing--and thanks for letting me know!

[@michellemeer5600]

@chuck wood By the grace of God, an extremely powerful lawyer, a well educated parent coordinator that became fully aware of his disorder... 2 1/2 years later I won! My daughter was old enough to choose to not have any visitation with him and my son has to see him every other weekend (16%). I consider it a miracle and an absolute victory. I had intense EMDR therapy the entire time and transformed into an entirely new person. When I read what I wrote, I do not recognize myself whatsoever. That is priceless! Thank you got asking.

[@jram8555]

A pathological narcissistic mother will emotional abuse their children, and justify that uncaring, unloving, and lack of empathy behavior, as discipline. When the kids begin to get older, they begin to stand up for themselves, and the “discipline” begins to intensify. As a father, still married to a undiagnosed Narc woman, being in the middle is very stressful. If you pacify the Narc mother, and support her, the child is being abused, and you realize that, or you side with the child, and the spouse becomes unhinged. Your either a bad spouse, or a bad parent. In some situations, you become both, with the child and the disordered spouse, both being angry with you. Crazy and very difficult dynamic in real life. Please DR. give us more on this subject. As fathers, if we divorce, the courts, most likely will give our children to these abusive mothers. A situation I refuse to let happen to my child. This subject is a very very good one. Haven’t seen much on it at all. Thank you so much for taking the time.

[@imyourfriend8582]

I grew up with a narcissistic mother and a caring father. You have described the dilemma well. My dad didn't handle it well all the time, but he did manage to raise 4 emotionally healthy children with her by loving us in a healthy, unselfish way. Keep it up and don't get discouraged. We could see how tough it was for him and we know he did the best he could. Most importantly, we knew he really loved us. 100% success rate. You'll get that, too.

[@selfcare.1004]

Watch Dr. Childress and conscious coparenting institute by Dorcy Pruter will help you.

[@AnielaT04]

@@selfcare.1004 no no no, Dr. Childress is a quack who spews information that is HURTFUL to protective parents. He protects abusers like NPD'S

[@selfcare.1004]

@@AnielaT04 I am curious to know why you think Dr. Childress protects the NPD.

[@katievictoriabrown]

I would say, start showing a lot more empathy to your wife in other areas (areas that are not related to your child), and it will help her to grow in empathy. Parts of the brain can still grow, even if they're lacking. Also, try to articulate your own feelings a bit more. You could say to your wife: "come on, I do think you are being a bit hard on our daughter," in a soft, gentle, understanding way. Never make out that you are taking sides. Just help your wife to understand more, being loving to them both, and help your wife's empathy to grow in her mind, by showing her more empathy. You learn behaviours from others in life. I really do hope you the best. I know that narcissists are some of the most challenging people we will ever have to deal with. My father, mother and ex boyfriend are all narcissists and a friend (who I'm keeping away from), because we can choose our friends. I can only deal with so many narcissists at a time in my life!

[@widodidoko1891]

Thank you so much! I knew intuitively that this was the only way. Now, with full conviction, I will continue to build a relationship of secure attachment. I know that this way, I will be able to save my child.

[@jans724]

Thankyou so much for this!!! This is so reassuring! I am so worried about my baby daughter whose mother is a covert narcissist. The mother's lack of empathy, or love, the super controlling, the constant simmering anger ... etc. and her smearing of me. And since I only have my daughter part of the time I am concerned about how to protect her. This talk was so helpful and reassuring!!

[@Andrew_animated]

I'm in the same boat. I hope that everything will be okay in the end.

[@jans724]

@@Andrew_animated Good luck friend! This presentation by Craig was so great to hear!! Let's protect our daughters!!

[@ambermarie8027]

I can't thank you enough for this. As a psychology major who also happens to be in this predicament (parenting with someone who shows the signs of this) unfortunately, I am better able to parent to prevent them from becoming a narcissist themselves by using the parenting style I've been researching.

[@CraigMalkin]

You're so welcome and keep up the great work!

[@suzannecharlebois4124]

Thank you so much for your book. You’ve helped me to calm my own anxieties on the subject. I have 2 kids and we’ve all struggled with major anxiety due to walking in egg shells and feelings of not being good enough. Your book has helped me to feel better about my own parenting.

[@DesiderataMama111]

So hard. This is why I research, learn, grow around him because he will never change. Disengage, disengage, disengage with the narcissist. Teach empathy and compassion and kindness to your children. ❤

[@rachelrivers2733]

This helped me so much. I can’t even begin to describe the relief this video brought me, and the hope that my kids can be kept safe.

[@Coral-gl7jx]

I am witness to narcissistic abuse of my Grandchildren by their Mother virtually every day. I see the terrible damage it causes, mentally, emotionally, and physically. This is someone who expects to control all those connected with her by using abuse and the threat of it. All of this is carefully hidden in public, and the children threatened with a date worse than death should they ever speak of it,they even provide alternative reasons for any signs of harm. It is pitiful to witness, and no matter how well they are observed, their Mum manages to harm them within seconds quite often, and is totally unwilling to try and alter her destructive behaviour. I believe only the thought of being discovered by those she seeks to impress, or by some authoritarian figure would be the only reason she might consider changing her ways.

[@julievotaw3289]

Could you get these kids in Bible Church and youth groups? I have often thought that Narcissists are filled with demons and they only way to stop them is through Yah (Psalm 68:4) and our Savior Yahshua, His Son. I pray for you! It is so very difficult to witness this...I have a situation where a narcissist caused the death of a child through gross malnutrition in the womb and another older child was headed that way and was sickly thin. I supported the family member that called child protection but when the dust settled, the entire family, even the one I had supported, turned on me to support the narcissist! They act like kings and queens and it angers me. I pray you and the kids can get some sort of prayer group going where the truth gets out and those kids can vent. I pray in Yahshua's Name that your daughter will soon be caught in her own sins, exposed, and forced to do right! I pray for strength and courage for you to be the assessable tower that these children can run to! Look to Alan Horvath videos about the Bible on line...he just past away to glory but he has a lot of good information and a sense of calm for your nerves. Much love for you!

[@huwtwamley3157]

Great reassurance and guidance. It is very empowering to know that you can still make a difference to your children's upbringing. Co-parenting with a narcissist can make you feel powerless. It is a bonus to discover that the best way is to be the parent we would all like to be.

[@monazimmerman885]

Thank you so much for this encouraging message. One of the hardest things about dealing with narcissim is wondering how to protect my child. This is something I have been struggling with recently and now I have hope that he can be ok. Thank.you

[@InHisService772]

Wow, I am so incredibly grateful that I found this video posted by a knowledgeable, trained professional. The plight of a parent who chooses a narc spouse is trauma filled. But when you add children to the relationship the magnitude and reality of your situation confronts you everyday. And suddenly there is no hiding or accepting rationalization for the narc’s behavior.. I am doing everything I can think of to protect my child. This video gives me hope and belief that my baby will be okay. THANK YOU!!

[@laurachevalier4756]

I was with my ex narcissist for almost 20years. The mental abuse was so horrible. I have also been battling cancer which intensified the abuse. He started directing the abuse towards my girls and I left him when he was at work 6months ago. Wow have I seen my daughters blossom. They weren’t able to express any negative emotion around him. He even at one point said if they don’t respect him he isn’t there dad! My 12 year missed so much. I am totally open with them love them want to give them the world. but still worry about my daughters emotionally. I feel my daughters have missed so much I really try not to say no to them. I feel guilty because of everything they couldn’t do with my ex. Every time we had to go somewhere it was a battle. They are extremely well rounded and good children and there activities reflect that. It’s hard being sick, taking care of them and making sure I try not to say no. I feel so much guilt. My ex would say he was tired a lot. I feel guilty when im tired, I usually push through to balance and give them everything or do what they want with friends, birthdays, private school events etc. I hope I have the right approach they are good kids and rarely need to many consequences.

[@bebebe1354]

Wishing many good years with your kids.

[@andynolan8071]

Dr Malkin, your video is informative and helpful on one hand. I am in the position of co parenting with a narcissistic ex. My natural parenting style is authoritative, while my ex is much more permissive. So I am doing the right things. However, parental alienation has all but broken my relationship with my children now. In the UK, once the children get to 11 years old and go to high school the children effectively dictate where they live regardless of child arrangement orders. The most permissive/indulgent parent is the narcissist, who certainly does not foster a relationship with the other parent. They denigrate the other parent at every opportunity. Ultimately children break off contact with the non-narcissist parent. This is a very common scenario. As a result the children are more likely to grow up to be narcissistic as you describe. The only way that this can be fixed is for the courts and social services to be able to identify narcissists and enforce child arrangements accordingly for the good of the children. Psychological professionals such as yourself need to help the courts to make the right choices and enforce them. There is a severe lack of competence in this area right now. Dr Childress has tried to raise the profile of this issue, but with limited success. Is there any way that you can add your weight to fixing this broken system?

[@reverendbowman4677]

Thank you so much. This has given me abundant hope for my daughters struggles and future!! It’s given me reassurance in how I treat my daughter as well as confidence that I can help fix at least some of the trauma she’s been forced to endure.

[@jennievanderneut6318]

Thanks Dr Malkin, this is encouraging to say the least and gives me renewed energy to stay on track with my kids, to know that my efforts alone, can swing the pendulum in the right direction.

[@jtar922]

Fantastic and fascinating information. I can think of no more important topic than that related to children and the impact of NPD upon them by a parent. Thank you!

[@CraigMalkin]

You're welcome --glad you found it helpful :-)

[@annafink2245]

That's one of the best and most succinct explanations of secure attachment I've heard. Hearing it only takes one parent makes me feel very hopeful.

[@crshia]

Thank you for this - it really gives me a lot of hope that there is good to be done and it isn't a small 'window of opportunity' that we have to be able to ground someone's life and help them become whole human beings.

[@rachelhartree38]

Thank you. Makes me feel better; empowered and less helpless. Despite my ex trying to undermine us in every way, I now know that what I'm doing is correct. You have validated my thoughts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@ElizabethEklekteka]

this issue has been one of my greatest concerns once I regained custody and continue to "co-parent" in my heinous situation. thank you for posting this!

[@LoneStar4Jesus]

Thank you so very much for this information. Five years of therapy to be an emotionally healthy parent and human and I still fear I can’t undo the effects of the other toxic parent. Your information gives me hope to keep on keeping on, even though I may not see results yet.

[@annajohnstone573]

I have 3 boys under 10. I set strict limits on screen times, they have a set bedtime routine and for discipline, we use the 1-2-3 magic, and they are rewarded for good behaviour. I also try to stay involved with what they are doing and not leave them unsupervised (this can be hard work as I'm a self employed editor and I work from home). My own upbringing was far different. My brother and I were pretty much left to our own devices and often played off against each other by my mum who has always denied this. My dad was away a lot for work and when he was away it always got worse.He died suddenly last year and my brother would call me, telling me off for not ringing mum enough. Neither my mother or my brother seemed to care how I was coping: I was devasted. My dad was awesome and just got me. In April I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety after stress at home (long boring story) got the better of me and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. I was put on Sertaline. I didn't even feel safe enough to tell her because 1)in my head she had enough to deal with and 2) whenever I have gone to her in the past when I've had issues (from bullying at school to an absuive ex), she has always either invalidated how I feel or made me feel like it's self-inflicted, or that I'm overreacting. This video has highlighted several things that I do that has made me realiise that it wasn't always in my head so thank you.

[@hellefreude5086]

Thankyou for the very uplifting encouragement about preventing harm to our child through the toxic parent, by focusing solely on our relationship with them and being the healthy and nurturing parent. I have never heard about research that says this will be enough to protect them. Therefore your words were very good News! It can be so overwhelming to constantly fear that somehow this pathological behaviour of the other parent will rub off on the child and cause extreme harm to them. I guess it is quite a bit about trusting that truth, authenticity, love and real caring will always win Out in the end, because herein is real power and life. Thanks :)

[@CraigMalkin]

Bettina Friesen Glad you found it helpful and healing. Yes -authentic love always wins out.

[@honeybee2363]

Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking your time (energy) on helping others. I saw this video just on time.😃

[@pamelapap]

Thank you so much for this. You don’t know how much I needed this hope. I cry worrying for my son and that he will be like his father. Thank you.

[@joannameehan4878]

This is a godsend of relief !!!

[@fionaaleksoska]

This has made me feel much better, i worry so much about my kids, thank you!

[@jvsmilfofficial3579]

Thank you, Dr. Malkin! This video is wonderfully reassuring. Before I watch it again I’ll get my pen and paper to jot some notes! I really appreciate you speaking on the research of how children will respond and develop when guided by “Authoritative” vs. “Authoritarian “ parenting. I hope to watch other videos soon! Have a great day!

[@jessadaggs5141]

I almost cried. Thank you for the insight. I feel empowered to empower my daughter.

[@ninagalluzzo6943]

Thank you so much! I needed to hear this today...really great content! ☆☆☆☆☆

[@thenylahandilashow1036]

Thank you so much I needed to hear this 🙏🏾🙌🏾

[@BetinaLundkaerJensenartist]

It makes so much sense....secure attachment....the way it gives you confidence in yourself and feeling secure...I just realize that this may be the cause of all my insecurity and angst I have been feeling through out my life...lack of secure attachment. I´m trying to be that person to my kids...Thank you for pointing this out. Thank you for being on KZbin.

[@beautifulminded8672]

Dr. Craig Malkin Thank you so much for posting your video. It's extremely helpful, and informative. I had tears of joy after viewing it, for it's given me a sense of peace.

[@carospereman3537]

So happy you did this video. I have been wondering what my son is exposed to when he is with his narc Dad and if he is going to turn into one. I realize now that attachment security is so important. I will love and support my son and will just concentrate on our time together. Thank you for clarifying this.

[@brookemurphy9304]

Thank you for providing insight into this dynamic. Your book is on its way to my house!

[@queenneferttiti6188]

It’ll have to be big sissy then.... I love my siblings with all my heart I refuse to let them be narcissistically brain washed I will be their advocate I’m happy that’s all they need!!🥰

[@gabbsb7101]

Oh God! You changed my life with what you just said! Back in my mind I always knew that I could do it on myself no matter how my sons father behave. This is just the best new ever!! I will always be thanful for this.

[@violacline3716]

I persoally knew I had to be 100% emotionally supportive with my kids after separating with their narcissistic father. This is like a confirmation of what I knew was the best thing to do for their emotional well being and stability. I am so glad that the research shows such positive outcomes for chuldren of narcissistic parents.

[@addiedn]

Hi If i can ask, i am in your shoes now where you were. I believe he is a covert narc or worse. My plan is to leave him next year. How do i go about doing this? He is more the self absorbed on his phone kind. Ignores me and kids often so, it is actually good for us in a way but outside pretends to be the caring doting father.

[@alisha96ag]

Thank you so much for this video. My mama heart needed to hear this tonight. I know that God loves my girls even more than I do and He is always with them even when I cannot protect them, but I have spent a great deal of time worrying about the long-term effects of them being in the possession of a narcissist (even if only for limited stints of visitation.)

[@theweirdkids790]

Thank you for this video; I needed this today. I have my kids back and always will.

[@HunterWillis]

This video was so comforting! It just takes one - that is so reassuring.

[@CraigMalkin]

So glad you found it helpful!

[@MakeWayForTheLion]

Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to here, and I have been desperate for answers on how to go about protecting my children from narcissistic abuse.

[@GeorginaHnatiuk]

That attachment security is really important. Great video. Sadly, in divorce situations, or family situations, the narcissist counter-parents and turns the child against the targeted parent. I’m going to buy your book.

[@CraigMalkin]

Hope you love it. My guess is #echoism might resonate most

[@lucysmith3389]

Excellent video as always! Thank you for making your work available to us! I am curious about your answer. My concern in this situation is not a fear that my children will become narcissists, but that they will become codependent pleasers, and suffer under the confusion, control and other side effects of being in relationship with a narcissist: not being heard, not allowed to say no to demands, or manipulated into doing things that they don't want to - having poor boundary development that effects their personal development and ability to create strong loving and safe relationships as adults. Would you ever recommend telling children the truth - about the personality disorder so they have knowledge and power?

[@karenmossbryan7932]

Maybe not. It took months of counseling for me to finally accept the horrifying fact that my husband, father of our son, is willing to inflict pain, destroy happiness, and gaslight truth. How can a 12 year old accept such villainy in the father they love? Instead, that may traumatize more.

[@joanfritz1189]

Lucy, I have this same concern. My oldest son is in love with a narcissist and I see him not having his own identity in the relationship. I want to say something to him before their relationship becomes a marriage. What should a parent do that went through a long marriage ending in an unexpected discard after 37 years? I was codependent for years not realizing how much emotional abuse I was tolerating. Any suggestions would be most helpful. Thank you.

[@DerrickSmithnotebroker]

I'm afraid my narrcisstic wife will harm my son physically when I divorce her.

[@hlfoch54]

This video is life changing, I'm so grateful I stumbled upon it, the timing is almost unbelievable. Thank you so much.

[@Baconmissfit]

Thank you for this. I allowed myself to adjust my parenting style a bit with my oldest child and it almost destroyed the relationship. I have a natural authoritative parenting style that has encouraged really healthy children (he LOVED this when we first got together, but HATES it now, because he says I'm not "consistent" and I let too much slide). I have 4 older ones as proof. I am encouraged by this video for my youngest, who is the child of my toxic husband. I have gone back to the balance of my style and allowing each child to have whatever my husband's actions pproduce in way of relationship with each of my kids. He's already alienated his oldest and my oldest. I know each child feels safe with me, and they (my biological children) are well adapted.

[@Blessedbears]

That’s such amazing news. My spouse doesn’t have this but people we are both related to people on both sides that have this big time. I have been parenting this way naturally without knowing. Praise God, I always worry about anyone,including myself, acting like those people that we know. It’s so traumatic dealing with them at times. I’m always checking my actions constantly because of those others! This is great info! Thanks

[@imyourfriend8582]

One of the most helpful videos I've watched on narcissism. Thank you.

[@mommaandthatbabybae6956]

This was super helpful! Remembering to practice attachment security and authoritative parenting is going to be the key in my parenting journey. Thank you again!

[@milaykerman9194]

Thank you Dr Graig. Very helpful!🙏🏻

[@amandasell5921]

What a relief!!! Thank you so much!

[@lisakang8150]

I am grateful to have found this site.

[@angelac3788]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! My son is 3...and he is already being manipulated by his Cluster B father.

[@Waitakeredame]

This has certainly been helpful and reassuring, many thanks Dr Craig..

[@ZuheySerrano]

Thank you! Cant be grateful enough for being so on point for me today 🙏🙌🙏

[@localimon]

Thank you, this was very nice to hear. I am not worried about my son becoming a Narcissist. I am, however, worried about his father giving him parental alienation syndrome and all the negative effects of his father’s neglect, verbal abuse, alcohol abuse etc.

[@meyricksainsbury5470]

Thanks again. I have watched this video three times fully in the last two months. It helps.

[@carmelitacarino3422]

Thank you Dr. Craig! This is a great help for me...

[@AgnieszkaJ]

❤️ my goodness thank you so much, I needed to hear this exactly today😄😄😄

[@k.silberberg5137]

That is good news indeed. I have been waiting for that information for a year at least. Thank you! Thank you, thank you! Why is it so difficult to find psychologists who make this an issue? Too difficult to deal with? That has been frightening me even more .... God bless you!!!

[@hellothere3097]

This makes me hopeful! Thank you.

[@aliceermlich1146]

Thanks so much. I am learning so many things from you. I like how you divide things into smaller subtypes. I am also sharing select programs with a friend sorting through his relationship with aging parents. Thanks.

[@whoatethechocolate]

How can we help inform our kids about narcissism so they don't choose a narcistic partner, without slamming their narcissist parent?

[@taurus25809]

I can not tell you how badly I needed to hear this message!!!!!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!

[@whitneytaylor2744]

Thank you for sharing this!

[@paulrudd1063]

Brilliant! Your lecture has made a profound impact on me. Thank you.

[@morebucks100]

Thank you for this! What to do to protect the children is rarely talked about. Everybody has the same advice about NPD's.... RUN, do not walk. But, oftentimes, the healthy parent must share custody of a child with a mentally disordered parent. So, the healthy parent remains a victim of abuse and the child becomes a victim. And more than half of the time, the disordered parent uses the child to continue the abuse of the healthy parent. I wish more people were talking about the kids.

[@KISTOVI]

Thank you. This is from great help.. .. One of my preschool children ( adopted) showed some described behaviour. And I started to worry and fealing not to have tools to support him . thank you!!!!!

[@CraigMalkin]

so glad you found it helpful and healing!

[@elenarukosueva5524]

thank you so much Mr. Malkin.

[@KB-vf5py]

Thank you very much for your words of reassurance. I am so very happy to know that I can provide my daughter with healthy future no matter her dad's words and toxic actions.

[@kawthersanad]

really really great news, many thanks

[@mrsejohnson0529]

Thank you soo much. This gives me so much hope!

[@staceythompson4359]

Thank you so much for this video!! This has been my biggest worry for my 3 boys.

[@mani-ksb]

One of the best helpful meaningful practical videos on this topic!

[@susiegiesbrecht4410]

Thank you so much! Needed to hear this Your video is amazing

[@TwoBeesOneWhy]

Just...thank you for the good news.

[@angelicahuanaco9618]

Exactly what I need to hear, thank you! 🙏🏼

[@madamepaulettes5337]

This was really interesting!

[@meyricksainsbury5470]

Thank You so much for these reassuring words. I am struggling with this very question..

[@annieb8521]

This helped tremendously thankyou!!!