The Most Terrifying Mental Health Experience

[@reezy88]

100% this. Letting things go well and be well and not problematizing my reality out of boredom or fear has been one of the most challenging aspects of recovery for me. Thank you, Mark!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

"Problematizing reality" is a great way to describe it! The old way of doing things was like I'd flip the entire dinner table because my soup spoon was set crooked. But maybe I can enjoy the soup, anyway.

[@caseybeal6884]

I feel it is literally part of my own mental health journey I feel it could greatly help for me to take some time to myself and read this series. As a young middle school kid. The books helped me pass my English class to do book reports on them.

[@bobtim1008]

I’m still getting “ intrusive thoughts” but I don’t really care about them no more what’s really scary is that everything that I’ve believed and done was built around fear I feel like I’m starting my life all over for the first time not being controlled by anxiety or thoughts. It’s like I’m born again and have to redo everything in my life and it’s scary but it’s ok scared is just an emotion and it’s ok

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Now you get to build life around the things you care about and what you want to grow!

[@bobtim1008]

@@everybodyhasabrain I appreciate your advice man God bless you you helped me a lot !

[@joucoco]

You said it. I was so anxious after I started to let go.This literally started this week. It felt like I was a bird nesting my eggs (control, problemsolving, jealousy etc) and suddenly they were gone and now I dont have a purpose or a direction to go. What scares me the most is love. That shit was so twisted in me, like I thought other person only loved me if they somehow played with my game of insecurities. And also loving other people was always motivated by fear. So weird and scary.

[@bobtim1008]

@@joucoco hey man it all works out right now we just got to find what we love and value in life and pursue it ! It’s exciting do new things try new hobbies travel experience life with no fear and it will work out!

[@joucoco]

@@bobtim1008 Amen brother!

[@rhinoboy6603]

Hi Mark. I found your channel years ago when I was in the depths of OCD. Very helpful videos. I just wanted to say thank you. I had crippling OCD that told me I was cursed and would harm other people if I didn’t do compulsions. Now I have recovered. I am a qualified mental health nurse and CBT therapist. Good work, keep it up 👍

[@everybodyhasabrain]

😁🙌 That's great to hear! I'm glad the videos were helpful and now you're sharing skills with others on their adventures. Enjoy that practice!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@29andhalf Have you learned about compulsions to check for reassurance? And why it's not helpful to check for reassurance if you want to work on recovery?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@29andhalf OCD forums are for having OCD, not for getting over it. So it makes sense that everybody there will see it as something to keep and manage. Going to an OCD forum for tips on mental health is like going to a drowning support group for tips on swimming. Chasing reassurance online about recovery is the same as chasing reassurance about any health anxiety. The more you check, the more you'll convince yourself of disasters. Leaving OCD behind is very doable, but it does involve making changes. Those changes will be about how you interact with experiences like uncertainty. You can practice the old coping, checking, and controlling compulsions, or you can learn new ways of having human experiences. But you won't be able to do both. You can't get certainty about drowning before learning how to swim. If you want to swim, you'll need to put on your Speedo, hop in the ocean of uncertainty, and start learning some new skills. You will get some mouthfuls of ocean. A shark may nibble your toes. It will be challenging! But you can learn how to swim where you want to go in life. Or not. There's no requirement to learn mental health and fitness skills. I'd look at it more like a sport. Nobody has to learn how to swim. Drowning is genetic, after all. It's one hell of a chemical imbalance that causes drowning. But if somebody told you that swimming isn't possible or recovery isn't possible because they haven't experienced that, it says more about the resources they have access to, than anything about the science. That's why I focus on trying to make recovery more easy to access.

[@rhinoboy6603]

@29andhalf I’ll keep this factual. I consider myself recovered because OCD doesn’t ruin my day to day life now. I use CBT everyday to challenge my anxiety, I don’t allow my anxiety to dictate my actions, and I get to live the life I want. Recovery is hard, and each persons journey is different but I’d recommend if you haven’t already getting a good CBT therapist to help you fight back. Take care

[@user-sp7iq7wj9l]

Something that has been helping me recently is imagining I’m driving a car and all the thoughts are speeding past my side windows, I see them in my peripheral vision but I don’t stop and turn to look at them, I look forward and keep stearing in the direction I want to go.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Enjoy driving where you want to go!

[@Anon-ti9gg]

Something you said around needing to fix problems to feel value really struck a chord with me. I had a nervous breakdown 3 months ago and was self harming. Trying to get well enough to return to work but haven’t figured out how to break old habits of filling every moment with purpose which I traditionally got with work but at the expense of my mental and physical health. I have just transposed work with redecorating my whole house - constantly needing to be busy

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Being is enough purpose.

[@fabioleiendecker5461]

I remember how I used to learn a certain amount of time during the day in order to not fail my exams. When I changed the mindset to "I am going to learn because I want to get to know new law knowledge to help other people in life" that was far less stressful and fulfilling and the results were the same. I am glad that I could finish my studies with this changed motivation and your videos were a great anchor during that progress. Thanks :)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's such a useful shift to make! Thanks for sharing about that so others can learn from your journey.

[@sollerclock]

Hey Mark, just wanted to say thank you for spreading your knowledge and giving your own advice on how to overcome OCD. You started making videos again right when I needed some reminders on how to deal with intrusive thoughts. You say a lot of things which click so well in my mind, most likely because you have first hand experience! It can be difficult sometimes, but I always try to remember that it's all the same. I feel uncomfortable, I do a compulsion, temporary reassurance, it comes back again. Being able to acknowledge things, sit with uncomfortable feelings, and move on and continue to do the things I want to do, is the gold standard. In the moment it can feel so real! But I guess that's the experience!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

😁🙌 have fun letting those feelings be there and not doing anything with them!

[@Whoeverwhateverwhenever]

I still don't get why "you are not your thoughts" and how to understand if my fears are rational or irrational 😢

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I wouldn't see it as useful to judge and categorize thoughts as rational or irrational. Especially if you believe compulsions are useful when you label a thought as "rational". The brain will just throw up lots of rational thoughts to get you doing the compulsions, then.

[@FriendLi_Visitor]

When you described this moment with the leaves and the silence. I remember a moment while riding my bike and I felt the happiest I have ever felt, it was sunny and nice. Serene. Then it went downhill with compulsions (and I in fact also went downhill on my bike hahaha). Thank you for this wonderful insight! And your amazing book!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you for reading and sharing!

[@Hummingbird1880]

I relate to this!! It also makes me think of the workplace - when I joined my new team from a toxic one, my brain was soo used to finding drama and controlling and engaging with the problems and it was so weird to let that slowly pass and not simmer in negativity all day.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Yes! That's a great example. This phenomenon happens a lot in organizations.

[@rudaki964]

Hey Mark, I know this is an old video but hopefully I would be able to reach out. I love your videos man! They truly helping me a lot. My main OCD theme is about uncertainty/doubt coupled with perfectionist in some areas. My biggest fear is settings, so laptop/monitor/pc/apps/even kitchen appliances like if microwave whatever has settings in them. And in that I want everything to be right as I want it, in my specific case I want everything to be on maximum, on maximum brightness/screen resolution etc. I don't think wanting something is inherently wrong but checking, controlling and constantly being worried that it's not or that I have missed something or while exited i unchecked or my screen resolution I accidentally didn't put it on maximum level so now I won't enjoy content to the fullest. I'm curious why I have never seen content regarding checking specifically this case because OCD is a lot of the times about doubts and settings is just a perfect environment for that. And there are really few videos/content online I can relate to. I understand that, me wanting the best experience is inherently ruined by the constant control itself, that I made what I feared the most. But perhaps you can tell me more a bit on that matter so that I would understand or perhaps some resources that can help me understand more. Because wanting it to be, for example 100% isn't bad in my opinion, it's the worries and rumination that oh what if it's 99% because I accidentally slide over the button and changed it and fearing the settings all together. I used and want to think that I still am a tech-savvy person, and I want to enjoy new gadgets again like I used to, without the fear of setting. Thanks!:) And again love your content, really helped me understand a lot of stuff!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

People will often say they haven't found anything online about their specific obsessions while missing the fact that checking online for reassurance like that IS one of the compulsions. It's the same compulsion to chase 100%. Trying to get settings "right" is no different than somebody trying to feel that they've washed their hands "right". There's tons of information about cutting out compulsions around chasing "right" feelings and judging things as not "right" enough. Judging the information online as not applicable is the same compulsion. And just like any compulsion, the more we chase the 100% whatever we're looking for, the more we'll feel it's wrong. That applies to looking for somebody with the exact same symptoms, too. The more we check, the more we'll come up with reasons why something about our compulsions/obsessions are different. If you want to make changes, that's totally doable. Just like somebody might sit with the fear that they didn't wash completely so they won't enjoy a social interaction, you can also sit with the fear that you didn't maximize a setting and won't enjoy watching some content. They're the same compulsions and the same types of exercises can be useful to explore.

[@rudaki964]

@@everybodyhasabrain Mark, thank you so much! I truly appreciate your help and insights. But how would I know what I want and what my "OCD" wants? I understand that I should accept everything-whether it’s a feeling, a thought, or uncertainty. "OCD" as a concept doesn’t exist; it’s what we make of it. But what is the norm then? What if I am making too big of a problem out of something that isn’t that scary? I’d like to think I am slowly recovering; technically, I was always healthy, and it's funny how my curiosity about my "OCD" is fueling it even more. I know that writing this is rumination and paradoxically an obsession, and reassurance-seeking. The hardest part for me is not remembering something or actually being unsure about something that won’t happen soon. Healthy people check when they’re not sure, so it feels more like a desire of mine. Yes, settings are a big part of my OCD, but usually I can practice accepting the uncertainty immediately. Let’s say I upload videos and check all the settings every time before I upload. One day, I remembered that I have this obsession, that settings all are saved when I upload every time, so there is no need to do it every time. I tell myself I don’t want to do it anymore, I want to cut it out, this obsession of going thought every setting option when uploading a video, but then I crave that one last check to ensure everything is right so I can forget about it and cut it out and live with that uncertainty and move forward. But I know I won’t upload any videos in the coming months. So now there’s a battle of decision: should I still check since I don't upload it that often and it's not that big of a deal, or should I cut it out completely for all future videos and be with this uncertainty, but then I will have to remember to do it when I get back to uploading a video, which won’t be anytime soon? It's like I have to make the decision now to stop it, either this or that, and stick to it. Because if there’s just a tiny bit of wobbling in my mind, I will be ruminating and battling. Thank you once again for your guidance!:)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@rudaki964 It's great you recognized that writing all of that out was just writing out rumination. So you see that the compulsions are broader than just the stuff about the settings? I find it useful to take a wider approach than just the specific symptom we might label as the problem. It's more like the peak of the mountain. It might get named because it's the peak, but it's on a big mound of stuff.

[@rudaki964]

@@everybodyhasabrain Thank you for your insights! I appreciate that you’re not reassuring my anxiety. However, I don’t quite see yet how the compulsions are broader than just the stuff about the settings and my constant worry about keeping everything in control. And about the mountain-do you mean that perhaps my values and my wants are also part of the problem? At the core, does that mean being attentive to details isn’t a healthy way of living life? I truly appreciate your reply and guidance. Thank you, Mark! I want to make sure I understand it correctly. :)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You had posted another comment on this thread that was very insightful! But now it seems to be deleted. In the rationalizing that went into deleting that, you might be able to see what I'm talking about with the compulsions being broader than just the settings.

[@jordanborba]

Mark, this video is AMAZING!!! This explains exactly where I’m at in my journey! I’m realizing I’ve spent my entire life worrying about something + I’m getting glimpses as to what that peace is like and it’s wonderful! I am enjoying expanding my practice + it is so wonderful to know that this can be our new normal! Thank you for all you do! 💛🤗

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Have fun easing into a new normal!

[@angelaaleman7787]

One thing that helped me in recovery was setting a goal to go on a cruise to Europe - I gave myself something positive to look forward to. I needed motivation to get unstuck. And the cruise was an amazing experience! I found that I could still do and enjoy something I valued, even with occasionally having thoughts I didn't like. Catastrophe did not strike 😆 Now just trying to apply that knowledge to my everyday life where I sometimes do get bored, and my mind wants to revert to the fixing and controlling pattern.

[@NaturallyHigh]

Love your content so much! Have you explored psychedelics at all?

[@Alllineedisonemic]

Such a chill neighborly ambience for such strength and experience thanks for this insight

[@kingalex2083]

Thanks mark. I lost my job and been looking for one. Super stressed! Brought back a thought which I checked. And I judged it. Then went to a compulsion. I’ve been commenting online more arguing. Been more in my head. Didn’t wanna watch this cause sometimes I’m just too lazy to work on my mental health. But I’m gonna read your book again. Refresher. Have a great Christmas

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I hope the job search goes well and easily! Doing less arguing in our heads and online can be a way to help make it a little bit easier, but we can also give compassion to why we want to control things when we're in a situation where something was out of our control.

[@ducky_moon]

Hii mark ..... I have been having intrusive images or thoughts like from last year I didnt knew what it was but once it came it didn't stick around but now from last month I started having some harm thoughts or you can say disturbing thought and have been puking like 4-5 times a week daily and like my whole month including Feb went distressing and crying all day.. dealing with crippling anxiety my exams are around too and I can't really focus but then 4 days ago your video popped up in my KZbin feed and your advices and way of explaining and everything has helped me alot ....like now no longer those ruminative thoughts would come and even if they would I can see my mind different than me now in the morning it did trouble me a little bit then I chose to not give it any attention it did go thanku you have helped me alot I can see the effect in just four days and for upcoming ocd thoughts ill do the same and hope of living and enjoying my life just like before thanku mark u are amazing...may god bless you and stay happy and healthy 💞 🙏🏻🌟

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's wonderful you're seeing how to apply these skills with the experiences our brains can throw up!

[@ducky_moon]

@@everybodyhasabrain yeahh 🌟 tysm

[@ducky_moon]

@@everybodyhasabrain yeahh 🌟 tysm

[@danielwalker6436]

Thanks mark, I was thinking this earlier, How to realise the path of being healthy and experiencing peace, and as i exoerienced it more so, i thought well why do i assume it was so diffucult? Well, aside from having mental illness for years, its a shock, and it must be easier at least until we do exprrience it more so and show the brain that its ok to be at peace in srlf compassion or whatever it means fof us,, it must be more of a challenge to get back to that, so not allowing the beliefs/ thoights from the judgemrnts become convincing again i suppose (or other).

[@angelaaleman7787]

Wow, you give such awesome, experienced advice. Thank you for this! I have definitely noticed this phenomenon in my recovery journey. Strange how accepting good things for yourself can be so hard. But I'm getting there 😁

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Have fun exploring that practice of accepting good things for yourself!

[@zentai4324]

I wanted to share that I watched this video a while back and I didn’t understand whats so scary about that experience, until very recently. I’m doing very well with mindful living and cutting out all compulsions, i’m at a point where my mind feels like its resting *most* of the time and not preoccupied with 100 different processes and judgements at once. I’m focused on things I value and seeing results good in them. I enjoyed the benefits of my new behaviors (also of feeling better), until I didn’t… it’s too quiet, it’s so boring being mindful, recovery is… boring? I even went back to “fixing” mode and surely enough i quickly judged some internal stuff and suddenly was back at square one for a day or two and was busy beyond belief again in a rabbit hole filled with anxiety. Then it hit me, i am that guy who jumps in the pool and hates getting wet, that scared the shit out of me!! I went back to this video, and it makes SO MUCH sense now, i guess i’m at that stage now 😂 oh wow, what a road

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It is a wild road but you're walking it! 😁🙌

[@maketheworldabetterplace5624]

I heard this story from ya and i was thinking about it the other day and i came to a conclusion that it means to not be attached to the good and the bad.

[@Freethemind11]

Hey Mark, hope all is well and hope you see this. For the past year I have been in a deep ocd spiral of addiction and compulsion and I can’t get out. I have been trying to quit my drug use for the last 10 years but my ocd has always had me chasing the perfect high or the perfect hit, was never able to quit. Then this past year my OCD went to an extreme and now I don’t have a day where I don’t see my theme or fear. Wether it’s in public, on social media, in music, I will hear a word or see something regarding my fear it’s like the universe is plotting against me to keep me in this cycle of destruction. I don’t know how to explain it Nomatter what I do, or how much I try to avoid, I see a trigger and have to wait till the next day to smoke again and try for a trigger free day In order to finally get sober. I’m in a dark place, would love to talk to you in person or over the phone but I know that’s not possible so what advice would you have for me? My mind is in such a dark place that I can’t quit this addiction and cycle of destruction without a trigger free day and I haven’t had one in over a year, it’s like I’m living in hell. Thankyou for all your great work, take care.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I shared a response on the other video where you posted this.

[@lovelifedrawing]

Great video Mark. This is a difficult skill but it’s so awesome when I can pull it off. Turns out life can be really fun 😂

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Life can be really fun! Enjoy that practice of peace, Kenzo :)

[@ibrahimcosar8783]

A thousand thanks 🙏 for this life changing take on something that I was suffering from.:)

[@Cecily1993]

Mark! Reading your book again 🙏🏻 what if OCD likes to tell me my values aren't my values?!!!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for reading! Are you saying that you're experiencing an uncertainty, and you want to check on how to get certainty?

[@Cecily1993]

@@everybodyhasabrain yes I guess that sums it up!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@Cecily1993 So just like any compulsion to chase certainty and put random brain indigestion in charge!

[@Cecily1993]

@@everybodyhasabrain 👏 👏 👏 👏

[@an4935]

What about for someone dealing with real event/false memory event? How do you deal with the feeling of guilt and the feeling of needing to confess to feel relief, since you aren't sure if the real event memory is actually true.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

But it sounds like you're doing compulsions around the brain stuff. Trying to get certainty about whether it's true or not, and especially if you like reassuring yourself when you know you can categorize something in the brain as true or not IS what's going to fuel these obsessions and anxieties. Chasing that certainty is only going to create more uncertainty and encourage the brain to throw up some questions about the past that you can't solve, so that you keep doing the compulsions. It'll be very useful to cut out the compulsions.

[@an4935]

​@@everybodyhasabrain Thank you.

[@alla-gd9sj]

Hey Mark, could you please do a video on ocd themes coming through into dreams? I’m struggling with this at the moment, thanks

[@hnnyy16]

Hey Mark, I'm so glad you have shared this. Recently I have been trying to find stories from people who are experiencing the unsettling/deeply unfamiliar feeling of positive change - many articles focus on the negative when we fall into ill health, but so often it's never about the reverse (when things go from bad to good). It's like I'm experiencing DPDR but nothing is wrong! My brain is in the habit of accessing still, so even everything being perfectly calm and ok feels unreal. I would love to hear more from you about stepping into this new normal and just allowing yourself to be, planning a future full of the values you talk about, rather than sculpting it around what anxiety and depression makes just about possible. I can especially relate to things feeling dull and boring when mental health improves, after so many years of constant adrenaline and fear. Thank you for all that you do!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's great you're exploring this practice! Something that helped me was setting it like there was a space I had created in my head. I threw out all of the problems that used to go in that space. But then my brain was desperate to fill it with anything. So I had to allow that to space to gradually shrink. Eventually, there isn't the need to fill it with problems. But that takes time at first, and it took me throwing up my hands and not touching whatever problem the brain wanted me to fix and control. And that feels super strange, just like any withdrawal from an addiction. So it helps to support ourselves with kindness as we let that happen.

[@hnnyy16]

You always have the best analogies! Thank you, I appreciate it.

[@binolidalal6406]

I don't like what my mind starts morning with. It judges me all the time. It will keep me feeling offended and upset from people around me. That person did this wrong that did this wrong. All the time it does only one thing. It doesn't let me connect to my self. I don't want to judge at all. I am not judgy but it is analysing and judging me, my feelings, intentions, thoughts, actions. It think too much of reactions.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's a very human brain! But I didn't understand what you meant that "it doesn't let me connect to myself". The brain is just an organ that's doing what brains do. It is not interfering with connecting to your self. That would be like saying that gurgling noises in the gut prevent you from connecting with your self. It is just an organ organning.

[@Andrea-ky9lh]

What a great video. Thank you so much Mark.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

😁🙌

[@daniellai127]

Hey Mark, I've been binge watching your videos for the last few days and they're been helpful. I am a bit confused though about your point of not labeling thoughts as irrational or rational. Are there not some thoughts that I should give mind to? I have ocd about logic checking and explaining concepts. Many times, I know that my rechecking is stupid and irrational, but other times, I believe there is a legitimate reason for doing it. What are your thoughts on this? How do I know what I do when compulsions and normal behaviors overlap?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

We can always think of rational-sounding reasons to practice compulsions. So I don't find that approach helpful. If we're checking and judging brain stuff, our perception of it will be so warped that we'll often default back to old habits (even though they're destructive and it's not particularly rational to choose the compulsions because of how much suffering they can cause us). So it helped me to recognize that building mental health skills will be UNREASONABLE. I have video on this from more than a decade ago: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqq5lWCHmrt9gqM

[@luna03100]

Hi Mark. I am going through the YANA exercises currently and being really deliberate with valued action. I am also in the process of launching a new business which = lots of uncertainty! I am waking up with so many physical anxiety sensations at the moment and my brain is constantly throwing out tasks I need to complete and get done/actions I want to do. Do you have any advice for navigate this in the context of starting a business please? Struggling to let it be easy..

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Many of the exercises in YANAR are adapted from the exercises I would do with companies setting strategy. So the same principles apply. And a big help will be following a structured design process for launching the business. Then you don't need to rely on the brain constantly throwing up things to react to. Do you have a set of values for the business and a clear action plan for turning them into action?

[@evanyoffe7339]

Hi Mark, the most recent trauma that caused my OCD to go wild was a tension headache I got from not being present and trying to be perfect. When suddenly I felt the urge to tense up to the point where I physically felt it. This new trauma has caused my OCD to go crazier than ever before - it was only after this that I realized this all happened because of my 32 years of suppressing OCD and dealing with it well for the most part but when I couldnt deal with it it took me out. I linked having thoughts to the tension headaches and tried to change my way of thinking. My question here after learning what I have and knowing what I know now - the tension and the squeezing of it is in fact a compulsion - or just the fact I got hyped up to that point shouldnt have happened and if it does I feel like I will have to do the squeezing if my body gets in that state again and this is making me fearful of being in social interactions and displaying my true intelligent self. Any insight here would be helpful.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I don't understand how any answer to the question would be useful. Instead, I'd look at what you'd rather be spending time and energy on instead of all of this stuff. Something I'd watch out for is what you said at the end about "displaying my true intelligent self"

[@evanyoffe7339]

@@everybodyhasabrain seems like you’re right - as long as I believe there’s something wrong or something bad will happen I’m continually feeding into the viscous cycle - the mind can be a tricky thing when you’ve unknowingly been doing compulsions your whole life to try and make yourself feel better. Thanks for your answer and I’ll try to be consistent with a new “normal”.

[@Wani_Daniel]

Hey Mark, Your videos have been really helpful over time. Thank you so Much. Do you mind making a video specifically on retroactive Jealousy type of OCD. Would be really grateful for that.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I'd see all of these videos as applying to retroactive jealousy. It's the same as any compulsion. It's really the classic contamination pattern: there's a contamination in somebody's past and the brain is pressuring you to get reassurance about it and clean it away. But the more you try to clean the contamination, the worse it becomes!

[@Wani_Daniel]

@@everybodyhasabrain Thank you Mark, your videos are quite insightful, deep, they've helped me alot, I'm much better than a a few weeks back.

[@Adam-l5b4l]

Mark, I have been trying erp for ocd, but I feel like I just can't do it, no matter how much I try I cant seem to make improvement. It makes me wonder about all the millions of people who have ocd, do they feel this type of pain aswell? Or have they found a way to manage it. If erp is simply to unbearably hard, do you think I should try find management techniques to do that are not as hard as erp, and if so, whereabouts should I try to go look for management techniques?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I notice that you don't explain what "trying erp" means here. And your description of "management techniques" is equally vague. So you're asking me, with absolutely no details about what the actual challenge is, and no information about you, to suggest an imaginary treatment method that will be more effective than something that's been extensively researched? If you've been approaching ERP in this way, I would suggest that the issue is not ERP, but that you are probably not doing ERP and haven't started with simple changes you can gradually build up from. It could be useful to connect with a skilled psychologist to discuss your specific challenges, how to effectively drop compulsions, and how to give that time and energy to more useful things in life.

[@vladgawron4855]

Hey, i want to ask, if you are not your thoughts, are you also not your compulsions to your thoughts?

[@mirnahijazi9105]

Omg same same same....i donno if someone can relate to this; but sometimes it just feels very selfish of me not to worry about family death health etc....like im feeling okay...why does it feel selfish to feel okay! I know why but its just a feeling....a brain "indigestion" i guess

[@taeya...5618]

Sameeeeee it feel selfish to think of ourselves

[@Adam-l5b4l]

Mark do you think ignoring ocd thoughts and ignoring your ocd is good? I've heard different opinions about ignoring ocd, what do you think?

[@Bray-sy4eu]

Hi mark hope youre good, I am trying to recovery by myself, but I am worried that I might be doing little compulsions without knowing. I am trying not to work things out, but I am worried if I am doing compulsions without knowing and If I am doing compulsions automatically. Thanks a lot

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Do you have a question you wanted to ask? Or did you just want to share about that ruminating?

[@Bray-sy4eu]

@everybodyhasabrain just wondering if I should work out if im doing little compulsions without knowing? Or should I just keep trying to get on with stuff and this is just another certainty I'm searching for

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@Bray-sy4eu Checking for reassurance like this and not doing it directly but just sharing a worry and expecting somebody to guess what you want is something I found useful to approach as a compulsion. I would see those as fundamental compulsive patterns, though, not "little compulsions". If you're not using a resource like a workbook to learn what compulsions are, to identify values to grow instead, etc, then it could help to get something like that.

[@onyllindoro1361]

Great video, thank you for the knowledge ❤

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks!

[@corinnemoreno3765]

Hey Mark, How do you get out of the habit of self-victimization? I hadn’t realized how non-conducive entertaining those types of thought were until more recent on my journey. It feels like it’s really easy to wonder “why me” and while I’ve gotten better… whenever experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety & OCD… sometimes it’s tempting.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It helped me to see that it was part of the controlling compulsions. The brain loves to get us wrapped up in shoulds and shouldn'ts, and one way of doing that is to judge ourselves as a problem or that something is unjustly contaminated. Just being aware of it helped me start to get ahead of it or just give it compassion, like noticing there's a younger version of myself there upset. I can give him kindness without getting caught up in the things he's complaining about. I know he just wants to control something and find certainty

[@Stesmith-xg4ry]

Hi mark, a lot of my thoughts are about people who have been mean and bullied me. To be honest, there are certain people even in family that i am scared of and hate. I am trying erp and feel i am making progress. If i get better with ocd, will i still fear these same people? Like i just hate some family members due to trauma and there actions. Will this fear go when i get better with ocd?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I'm sorry you had that experience. I would have a lot of questions first about why you're asking that question about getting rid of a fear. It sounds like there might be some more useful areas or questions to explore. If you're working with a therapist on ERP, maybe chat with them about ways of interacting with traumatic experiences.

[@nobody6851]

Any advice on how to get over the “perfect treatment” obsession. Currently i’ve been going crazy that I didn’t fear xyz fear, or another fear and that i haven’t done exposure for that thing, and so i’ll ever be cured if don’t face every fear. This thing is literally driving me crazy

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It makes sense that would create more struggling. It's the same approach as somebody washing their hands to get perfectly clean. Of course they'll only feel more and more contaminated so they can do more and more compulsions to clean away the bad thing and get it right. That's just classic mental illness practice. It's one of the big reasons why I find it much more useful to take a mental fitness approach: We do better when we're building and adding and growing. Instead of looking for a perfect soap as "treatment", we can instead approach mental health as building skills we want to keep in our lives, to do the things we want to do more of.

[@funkyshade]

Hi Mark, what do you think are some good ways to spread mental fitness as a more common concept? I ask because I think for a lot of people, techniques of overcoming mental struggles is difficult to wrap their head around, especially in a world where it's more "normal" to just do compulsions.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I look to the way that other things spread, like physical fitness: it's about people demonstrating it in their personal lives and sharing about that. For example, I don't know of anybody that got into crossfit because they had years of gym class in elementary school. But I know lots of people who saw others doing crossfit and wanted to know how they could do that, too. It would be great if more people were making videos and sharing about their personal experiences of applying mental fitness skills and the challenges they're continuing to work on.

[@funkyshade]

@@everybodyhasabrain Great point, sounds like a "teach by example" type of approach. I hope more people will be exposed to what is possible in mental health this way.

[@jordanmartin9723]

Thank you 🥹

[@everybodyhasabrain]

😁🙌

[@homeiswhereourheartis]

What's your thoughts on psilocybe therapy mark?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I know people that have done it, and there's a growing amount of research on it. Anecdotally and from the research, I don't see it as different than anything else somebody might want to take. The research results are mixed and I wouldn't say they're impressive or unusual. But I would say the same about SSRIs and they're used widely. It's not weird that taking some type of drug as an attempt to fix a mental health complaint typically does a few percentage points better than placebo in RCTs. But many people report benefits when taking a placebo, too. Either way, making changes will still require actual changes and doing things differently, inside and outside of our heads. Whatever supports people find useful for making changes, I think are great. But it's the changes that are still most important.

[@homeiswhereourheartis]

@@everybodyhasabrain thanks for the input. It's a difficult one because there's so much excitement and hype behind it. Of course the temptation to try to end our suffering is strong! I personally like to live like a monk by that I mean the most exciting thing I drink is herbal tea 🤣 I'm almost out of my OCD cycle once more, was well for like 5 years. But since my last mental health dilemma there's all this new groovy research 🤣 Personally the last thing in the world I'd actually want to do is take mind altering substances. But that temptation to "fix" the mind is always tempting. Life's one big confusing journey sometimes lol

[@everybodyhasabrain]

There's a lot of marketing by companies. And mental health communities always chase after the latest magic soap to clean away brain stuff. But that's very normal. There have been so many fads like this. I don't know any professionals who actually work with people on real mental health skills and recovery that are seeing anything different with psychedelics.

[@Alrokerthon]

@9:50 vibe

[@skadadtv1648]

How do you get rid of old values you don’t like. How do you balance cutting out and adding? Do I need to focus on cutting out at all or will that happen automatically when I practice opposite values?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I'd just start to make some simple changes. I often suggest to people that they take a month exploring something new they'd like to have in their lives. You've probably spent a long time practicing the old values. It'll take time to explore and practice new values through your actions.

[@Stesmith-xg4ry]

Hi there, the biggest thing I'm wondering is if I'm using acceptance as a compulsion and if I'm doing recovery right. I've been trying to do the recovery treatment properly, but it just gets a bit hard at time now. There's uncertainty over whether I am doing erp properly or not

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It makes sense there's uncertainty if you're trying to chase certainty about cleaning away something. So it can really help to set goals around the things we want to grow and keep in our lives.

[@jaishankarcp3571]

Hi Mark does being with the thoughts mean thinking about it without getting afaraid or just trying not to react to any of the stuff that my brain throws at me . If trying not reacting to thoughts that my brain send me i might miss the good stuff that my brain give me I'm confused please help me

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Oh, do you believe your brain gives you "good" stuff? I do not share that belief. I approach all of the brain stuff as the same, because if I believe my brain when it says stuff I like, how can I not believe it when it says stuff I hate?

[@Alllineedisonemic]

The ending was a golden nugget

[@Bray-sy4eu]

Hi Mark I am just doing erp now, and when the thoughts and urge to do compulsions come up, and I resist them, I get headaches and also kind of squeeze my muscles. I have told my doctor this and the muscle pain they can't find An answer for, so they just said i should take panadol and use heat cream. I think there's a chance I may be getting chronic pain due to ocd stress. I am trying erp hard, but i am wondering if this pain will go away as the ocd gets better. Did you experience this when you did treatment? And as your ocd got better did it get better a lot? Thanks a lot so much

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You already asked about squeezing your muscles and I already replied to the question, and explained about reassurance compulsions. But you're repeating the same compulsions to check here. These are very common compulsions so it does make me suspicious about what you could mean by "trying hard at ERP". So it could be very useful to look at what you believe to be "ERP" and very useful to work with a skilled professional, to learn the basics about cutting out compulsions and what to expect when you do.

[@Bray-sy4eu]

@@everybodyhasabrain so using your videos is not enough to help myself? I still have to see someone outside aswell?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@Bray-sy4eu You're definitely not doing ERP in a way I'm familiar with or describe, so I don't know what you mean by "using your videos". If you can access a person to work with, grabbing a good book to learn about the basics and what compulsions are and how to make changes and all of that fun stuff will be very helpful.

[@user-sp7iq7wj9l]

Do you think it’s possible to overcome intrusive thoughts without medication?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@user-sp7iq7wj9l It can really help to see that intrusive thoughts are compulsions. So regardless of whether somebody takes medication or not, dropping the compulsions to judge and control and avoid and attach meaning to brain stuff is about changing how they interact with experiences. They'll need to make those changes either way. I didn't take any medication to make those changes. But lots of people take a variety of medications and make those changes. If somebody expects any external support to make changes for them, I think that can create some struggle. We need to make changes and there might be many supports a person uses on that journey of making changes.

[@user-sp7iq7wj9l]

Thanks for your reply. I think that I might be obsessing about letting the thoughts be there 😅

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@user-sp7iq7wj9l That's a popular compulsion!

[@franchescomarcelie6716]

How long does it take to recover from ocd fully?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's up to you. It's such a vague question, though, and a classic reassurance checking compulsion, that it'll be useful to learn about compulsions and the mental health skills you want to practice instead. It's very doable to leave OCD behind but it does involve changes

[@franchescomarcelie6716]

@@everybodyhasabrain what’s the fastest you’ve seen someone recover fully?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@franchescomarcelie6716 That's the exact same reassurance compulsion you already asked. After you've cut out the compulsions, then we can chat about recovery.

[@ciao3926]

Hi Mark! Thank you for this video. A question tough, what should I support , listen to and care about thoughts such as ‘oh I’m hungry, let’s go grab a burger’ and not care about intrusive thoughts? I hope my question doesn’t sound stupid

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's great you've noticed those are the same! We don't need to react to those either. And if we are, then it's completely natural we experience anxiety when we try not to react to thoughts we find distressing. That logical disconnect is something I discuss often in my work. If we develop a practice of reacting to all of the brain stuff we like, then it's very challenging to cut out compulsions around the stuff we dislike. Nourishing ourselves is the perfect example: that's not something I want to leave reactively to my brain. I nourish myself proactively, based on what helps fuel the things I do in the world. If my brain throws up a thought about grabbing a burger, or a memory of something terrible in the past, or the urge to fly to Mars, or a fear that I've spread contamination all around the room... they're all the same brain stuff.

[@ciao3926]

Thank you for your answer. But the act of proactively nourishing myself with what fuels my body also comes from a thought no? So why should I listen to that thought (even if it’s a good one) if we don’t want to be reactive to thoughts?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@ciao3926 I don't know how you're using the term "thought" there. But I certainly wouldn't expect my brain to spontaneously come up with a solid nutrition plan. If your brain is skilled at throwing up useful thoughts, that's wonderful. But for people who don't find their brain so genius, using a set of values can be a useful compass to navigate internal and external experiences in a way that's beneficial to ourselves and our communities.

[@ciao3926]

So the important thing to do is not to let spontaneous thoughts dictate our life while listening to the ones that help us pursuing our values?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@ciao3926 I didn't say that. I'm not sure where that description comes from. And I don't know what you're trying to figure out here.

[@patricksmith7529]

Hi mark hope you are good. What should i do if i am turning recovery methods into compulsions? I have purchased something called the linden method. I have also researched erp and act. I just keep wondering which method i should do and i get tempted to do different methods and switch between methods. Like i will try one method for a bit, and then try a different method and then keep switching, as i get tempted to try a new method. What should i do from here? Like even using erp and act as a compulsion. Should i just stop working things out and not seeing which method to do? Thanks a lot

[@everybodyhasabrain]

We've been over this many many times. You can look at my previous response to the last question you asked. I've already explained that searching for the special solution to cutting out compulsions is not going to magically materialize. Whatever path you choose, you'll be the one that makes the changes. Or not. We get to choose. If you want to make changes, you can!

[@patricksmith7529]

Hi mark hope you're doing well, don't mean to invade your privacy, but do you want to have kids with your ocd diagnosis?,knowing that it can be genetic?. Also did your ocd affect your family a lot? Like did it affect your relationship with your family members at all? Thanks a lot

[@everybodyhasabrain]

But I don't struggle with OCD anymore. What you're asking is like asking if I don't want to have kids because I once didn't know how to swim. And drowning is genetic! Of course swimming skills and mental health skills don't magically fall from the sky (or your genes). We have to learn anything useful we want to learn in life. OCD is about practices and how we interact with experiences. And getting over it is about changing how we interact with experiences. You're fully capable of making those changes. That will involve cutting out these compulsions to ask for reassurance under my videos.

[@mariapp2050]

🔥🔥🔥

[@binolidalal6406]

This OCD is killing it. I am about to get married and the inner negative chaos is bloody loud. All the time mind has only negative stuff to tell me. I am trying to stay calm but it comes up with negative inner utterances for God.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Do you have a question you wanted to ask about that or did you just want to share that?

[@mi-ndio-ule-dem5458]

Are you in a relationship?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I think this is not an effective way to ask me out on a date.

[@mi-ndio-ule-dem5458]

@everybodyhasabrain Well, 🤭 you're probably right. IYO, what would look like an effective way to ask anyone out on a date?

[@eprkya]

@@everybodyhasabrain reading your book "the mind workout" right now. I love it, it is very helpful. Thank you!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for reading! Enjoy turning the exercises into action :)