The Narcissist Who Refuses To Let Go - What you need to know.

[@sophiawhite8944]

Yes. They don't respect ppl boundaries.

[@Cerez78]

True they don't have consideration for others physical emotional or energetic boundaries. They're self-serving at the detriment of others.

[@nrosa4051]

You are so correct !!!

[@MissFunnyBunnyKC]

You're so right about not engaging in arguments with them bc they see it as a form of control. If they have your attention they have you under their control.

[@marciloni12]

The more dramatic, tearful, the better for them.

[@Cerez78]

Yes and NEVER apologize to them. They will take it as an ego feed and it will go to their heads! Plus they see it as weakness.

[@psychoholiday-ju1cp]

That's the simple endgame. No contact cures all! (Let them SCREAM IT to the mountaintops that they "WON" something because we don't have to put up with them anymore and they can rewrite history all they want... Only their stupid subhuman sycophants will celebrate and you don't want anything to do with people like those as well of course)

[@Maria__57]

I AGREE..to not engage in arguments..but you have to answer or talk standing on what you believe in...when necessary...otherwise you do exactly what they want..letting the narc treat you & do as they want with you...THIS IS THE NARC DREAM..put people under their feet..

[@AristotleFullThrottle]

The moment I realized that I don’t have to put up with anything I don’t want to, was the moment I started to feel free of narcissistic abuse. I had a moment of clarity that I literally do not need to tolerate abuse - which seems obvious, but when you’ve been conditioned to deal with it for so long, you become blind to it. Thanks for your insight!

[@7RB373]

you keep leaving but then for some reason they get you back because you feel bad for them, it's our nature, but then you REGRET IT SO MUCH!!!! Good for you that it finally clicked and you stuck with it!!!

[@JaneQPublic]

It’s sad how we can make excuses for them but that lightbulb moment is very “dark to light”. Just trying to figure out how to get him to leave

[@EmpressEmpath44]

@@JaneQPublic =( me too especially when he's making threats

[@lianecornils8733]

Really? Who breaks my items in my home. An angel of God? Lol. Cons waiting on me .

[@lianecornils8733]

When your children become it and u love the baby.. u wont heal. You can talk about spouces. There only with u on choice. Your children were God given. Thats the result of q evil force that no man can reckon without Gods help. So. Good luck.

[@tonialbrecht1158]

They love and they feed on drama and chaos . because they are dead on the inside.

[@denisep2868]

Toni Albrecht true💯💯💯

[@ginadenson8828]

Omg this is TRUE....I've been putting up with this mess for years😞

[@brittanyberghuis8007]

Drama , chaos, never just a little argument, always explosive and traumatizing.

[@CatWoman6]

Toni Albrecht they are Evil people.

[@Proposeasolution]

Yes!!

[@chrisnapoli8386]

Mine never cursed at me but was extremely passive aggressive to the point I was questioning my own sanity.

[@heatherberry2886]

Been there

[@Jaded_Ink91]

Mine was too.

[@lindsaybriggie3277]

Sameeee

[@temposhop8739]

The passive aggressiveness is something i'll never forget, nor be able yo ignore in people i meet in the future.

[@santoparfano1910]

Yup. I know exactly what you are saying. It's like death by 1000 cuts. Small seemingly innocent but questionable looks, subtle insults, gestures, gaslighting, stonewalling, cutting comments. No need to yell if you kill us softly. I get it...

[@sirena9167]

Your wife is so blessed because she came from a narcissistic family but didn’t marry one. That’s truly a blessing. You tell her that she is blessed.

[@Maria__57]

TRUE..but she also has to stand up for her husband . Kevin..& kids..staying distant from them..otherwise her relatives will continue to treat Kevin bad.. so also she has to go no contact with them..that Is if she loves him..

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

You look great, ! ( by the way ) ❤️‼️ 5:44

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

You look great, ! ( by the way ) ❤️‼️ 5:44 5:55

[@carolloraine223]

Yes! No Contact...it's the ONLY way to feel good again. Be Happy and Healthy!

[@TheRoyalWe]

+Carol Loraine no contact is the only way to feel good you're absolutely right

[@stephenn77]

Even long after healing, they silently stalk. For some reason they can’t seem to move on. It’s always like you’re being watched.

[@HealingThroughInspiration]

How do you do it financial wise?

[@arijarij9571]

It s not easy at all !! No contact means you will face the pain and the feelings of attachment like drugs .. no contact is not easy but it s the beginning of healing .

[@lilliathmanigault9397]

@@stephenn77 right on. Try growing up in a cult the whole church was out to get me when I left my narcissist father. Where did your doormat go we wanted to boss her around and make her life hell.🤣

[@motowngirl5891]

They are very pushy, rude, and lazy most of the time

[@davidrose4942]

they like "low hanging fruit" to further support that they are LAZY. Your opininons DONT count because they really believe you are beneath them.

[@Ed-yu3cw]

Rocker Girl they dont care about no one but themselves its best to ignore them

[@kadianbrown4007]

Yes true

[@Dtella55]

Exactly...100 and do not pay bills and always in debt...

[@Breb1999]

Sounds like me

[@7mugwumps]

OMG this is the most perfect description of the situation I've ever heard. He treats me like he hates me but he won't let me go. I'm doing NO CONTACT and he's still trying every manipulative technique that he has used on me in the past to break me down and go back. It's the same routine over and over - but I'm not falling for it this time! I can't believe I wasted 6 years with someone like this. Why did I believe I was trapped? it was all manipulation. He still got inside my head even when I could see him for what he was. This is pure evil.

[@sophiachin1262]

Yep satan controls them becuz he really can't control u to be a heartless, brainless demonic imp. Contrary forces, manipulation, toxic abuse, waste... these are all distractive fiascos the enemy of progress creates to destroy your true blessed destiny. All these demons and lunatics must be canceled out of your life or entire existence. #RUN TO GOD... He is the mighty deliverer. AMEN

[@MacAndCheeseMasterOfficial]

It's been 2 years since you commented so I'm not sure if you'll see this, but if you do, how are you now? I pray your life has been changing for the better 🙏💛

[@christianpulisic7784]

7mugwumps,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌷🌹🌺, hope you are not with a narc 😈!

[@shannionferrell3248]

They are demons. Look up what demons do. That's all they are.

[@shannionferrell3248]

@@sophiachin1262 Amen. They are demons. 👹

[@kimmcleod]

Always take back your personal power. It is especially critical to do so when dealing with abusive individuals.

[@iniubongnkanga9390]

I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with a narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my partner's phone, all i did was to share his phone number with (geniustracker) without touching his phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact him to help he is a genius. You can text/call [phone] or reach him on WhatsApp [phone] and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701) thank me later...

[@projectmcsquare2149]

It’s been 4 years and he never stops... SICK OF IT

[@randomnumbers84269]

@Trey Lovely That will land you in jail thought.

[@elizabethrayven1184]

My Narc went to jail and I blocked all communication and I’m in the process of moving. I am sooooo happy he’s officially gone because he’d never leave me alone. I know he’s not getting out anytime soon so I can finally move forward!

[@apbxny216]

I had to move too. My ex-narc tricked people in my life by telling them that we are still together, and that we are working on our relationship. But the real truth was, that we were permanently broken up. He kept pretending like we were still together, and people would tell him what I do, where I go, and where I was. He tricked people into becoming informants for him. I had to cut EVERYBODY OFF...and start my life all over again from scratch to get rid of him. So whenever he played his game of we are still together with people...they truly couldn't give him any new Intel because I went (whitness protection 👻)on everybody.

[@kevinbrislawn5918]

was he a covert narc?

[@ritabrown7573]

I’m thinking about moving

[@Bo00si33]

Mine is going to jail soon. I'm testifying next week.

[@Rubycella]

You go girlll

[@janycebrown4071]

We all need to know our worth. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't deserve your greatness 🤗❣️

[@raven4090]

The stupidest thing about them is that they don't want you to abandon them, but they do everything they possibly can to make you want to. Then when you do, they whine and whimper to everyone that you left them.

[@tc2333]

You are cutting their ability to manipulate and control.

[@gc8024]

Very true.

[@Sarah.M98]

Not really, they end up manipulating other people you don't know to come in your life and manipulate you for them. These desperate demons are always planning new ways to get to you and they'll use other people as an extension of themselves to get to you, they don't give up. I'm speaking from my experience with the narc.

[@marciloni12]

And you have been giving it, so they're mad the source is no longer available.

[@CoachK10190]

It’s their whole identity so when you enforce a boundary, it feels like dying to them

[@k.a.wippel8790]

Thanks for mentioning the "forced relationship" and how it's their problem. I'm in the process of getting away from one.

[@marciloni12]

Even in the love bombing stage, I felt coerced to accept it and like it! He wanted to be with me always, after work, weekends with his family, friends, coworkers, I felt like an object he wanted to show off.

[@elezabeththomas2693]

Exactly! Kevin this simply hits the nail on the head. Narcs will continue to abuse over and over and over again because they are NOT ABLE to live a life of their own; always dragging you in whether you have a relationship or not. Pathetic.

[@earthundersand]

Their bullies ( mask) and dish out pain to others as a way to deal with the pain they felt in early development. Deep down their cowards , insecure, afraid, all those things they accuse you of and make you feel like. To make others feel their pain. They will always do this as a coping mechanism for not being able to self regulate, self calm, self soothe, learn, accept , grow etc. when they were younger when things didn't go with there wants and/or needs. Which every child has to experience in developmental stages. Basically they couldn't handle the pain. Most likely to intense, to painful , to uncertain (lack of control) is to scary. So they began pushing it outwardly so they see your pain as their pain inside that they can't feel and refuse to feel whether intentionally or not the result is the same. No contact is the best approach to take for these cowards. To get your power back and it's not In reacting , or engaging. The most tragic thing I've learned is there is no known cure for this learned behaviors. And while we can break free. They just move to new unsuspecting victims. So the abusive cycle just continues. Seeing that this is a outcome from the developmental stages when a child is 4-6 yrs old. What is happening to SO MANY the children not being raised in healthy emotional/physically/mentally that these are the results of? Let's be more mindful if there's no known cure they we should be working towards preventing this. For everyone's sake past/present/future.

[@speakyourtruth7872]

I don't have to allow anyone in MY LIFE.

[@mikaelj3760]

Spiritual Turquoise please help me, my neighbour wont leave me alone always waiting on me on his front porch we live wall to wall. and he always want to talk. he is such a negative man always slanders and blame others for his own crappy life. it has come to the point that i will not leave my apartment and totally freeze when his wife knocks on my door witch is an alcoholic. iam a very social guy and likes to talk to persons witch i did whit him when me and my family moved there and now he practicly demand me going out and talk everyday for 1.5 2 hours sometimes to 2 times a day. i feel very bad mentally because of this i fear coming home everyday from work driving up our street seeing him sitting there. i need help reclaiming my life and freedom at home

[@speakyourtruth7872]

Mikael Jansson hmmmm, let me think about this and I will get back to you hon. :)

[@mikaelj3760]

Spiritual Turquoise thank you for listening i growed up with this a classmate with adhd aspergers mbd you name it, so its not new to me he controlled my life from the age 8 to 16. i was desperate and afraid this morning but now i had some beers witch is not like me im just drinking with friends to have fun but now its just to handle the next time she knocks (his slave) so im going realease the devil inside me, he's ugly when it comes to my own pride just for the fun of it, im going to tell i own this house including the side he lives on and also tell i have no responsibility to talk to him. now to the pathetic im 34 years old and 6 feet tall and he is 71 years and 5.9 feet. im swedish by the way and he's norwegian, but i love nice people like you and im looking forward to your answer :)

[@speakyourtruth7872]

Mikael Jansson Hello, I talked this situation over with a friend of mine who study psychology and we came to an agreement that it's very hard to deal with neighbors of this kind, so what you ought to do is stop people pleasing and if you don't know what that is you can KZbin it. I was like that before, don't worry a lot of people are. I want you to get back into your power, The Creators spirit is in you, think about, what you accept and don't and don't let anyone bulldoze you for their spiritual, emotional,psychological, physical energy Etc vampirism, you are not a professional counselor (unless you are?) and it sounds to me like they need help. Therapy, Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, maybe even medication and that is okay there is nothing wrong with any of that for anyone. It's actually beneficial but set up boundaries for yourself, if you don't know what they are you can KZbin boundaries and dealing with toxic people. You will get some ideas and slowly but surely you will create your belief system and stand strong. Im not saying your not strong bc you are. You are not to let people mind f*** you into doing what they want when they want it. Honey it's your life we only have one, why even let people like that disrupt your peace of mind cut it off , you don't owe your neighbor anything and you can say something like "I suggest this and that" and if they don't want to listen to you, just say "I'm busy and I can't talk right now ". About her knocking on the door don't answer it ignore it, tell them you're busy and maybe even research and Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon for yourself so you know how to deal with these types of people. Tell them in a nice but firm way how you feel, Bc they don't know but don't go Devil on them whatever you do it creates trouble then the police are called and restraining orders and stalking , God, the list can go on and on. I hope this helps and I will suggest a simple prayer. God or whatever you want, as long as it makes sense to you: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I say this prayer too .Take care of yourself. :)

[@mikaelj3760]

Spiritual Turquoise thank you so much for your answer and hearing you going over it with a friend so totally honored cudos to you i really meant it no joke! the problem isnt that she is an alcoholic her husband doesnt drink and he is the problem she is just his narcsissist victim playing along for her survival i think. but she was out today screaming when my friend was over wondering why i was barbequing on the other side of the house saying what have we done wrong not talking to them anymore, im pretty upset since last couple of days of this mess. they blame my girlfriend for me taking a stand for my self. today i had a friend over for a couple of beers so i dont fall together mentally if they knocking on the door and i was screaming on the back of the house so they could hear "no one is telling me what to do" and a lot of other things so they hopefully come out but they didn't if they would i had screamed at them that didnt owned me and other things. but tomorrow its a new day and i will be afraid again i cant drink everyday that will make me an alcoholic aswell

[@k.a.wippel4436]

Exactly. I've always felt everything was forced. I never wanted this in the first place.

[@justjennlol-f2s]

Same

[@justjennlol-f2s]

They emotionally manipulate and force you to an extend that u dont even realise it.

[@Datb2]

Omg right! Jesus Christ

[@moondust1979]

Omg your first point is so true! They literally force themselves into your life thinking they are entitled over you. Its twisted. Great video thank you

[@murph.the.creator]

It's so crazy, the first thing you notice is that a narcissist always come from abusive Families. My ex-girlfriend was the same way. Her family was extraordinary abusive. They're always fighting. And they tried their hardest drag me into their bulshit

[@TheRoyalWe]

It is very crazy. Good for you getting out of that family.

[@shawingo8757]

Murph.tv Exactly. This is why now before even getting involved with a person, it is IMPERATIVE that I know how they were in their childhood, and their relationship with their family/parents. It usually starts at early age. Some people grow up with those negative traits into an adult.

[@Quoteunquot3]

I never knew much about narcissists, but this is so "spot on". It's scary, I started to get brainwashed too.

[@mandytiefen9913]

When I tried to leave they threatened to get me evicted, get me fired, take away my cat and put him in a kill shelter, etc. I am glad I left anyway and it was ALL empty threats... THANK GOD. I was SO scared.

[@sannajohanna5579]

I hope that you was able to keep your cat. I have 3 cats and I think that I have them only because they do not know that I have them.

[@michelleboutwell-goodman818]

RESTRAINING ORDER. My NARCs threats were not empty threats.

[@fredhubbard7210]

LOL... How can I tell that you are a woman? My narc uses restraining orders, an elaborate victim narrative, and groundless allegations. Even years after I signed an agreement to keep the peace--explicitly (in the judges words) to allow her to calm down, she kept saying I was in breach... even though the agreement expired years ago, and I continue to scrupulously maintain the terms of the initial agreement.

[@newjerseydevil6115]

Ava Goodman mine are not either. She breaks my things & steals from me. I've lost doctors. It's called coersive control. It's done more to more to women than men & it's very dangerous. They will sabatoge if you try to leave. Meanwhile they will hurt you any way they can.

[@msnickiepooh]

Ava Goodman Coersive control....can you give more details on this???

[@newjerseydevil6115]

Ava Goodman I have some articles on coersive control. You can give me your email address if you'd like.

[@recoveringsoul755]

Restraining orders only work on people who follow the law, not those who think they are above it, or who have friends in high places. Each target knows their abuser best. Sometimes an order will infuriate them and lead to more harm.

[@mrs8792]

I feel badly that my ex was abandon and treated so unlovingly as a child as to become a narc, however, I can do nothing right in his eyes and he lives to make my life a living hell.

[@warrenchambers4819]

t Klein "I feel bad" because he wants you to "victim, sob story, innocence betrayed etc. " is the part that sets the hook to bend your will to his and threaten abandonment and your heart. My advice "Feel bad" DON'T! When his sob story comes up in the next manipulation attack just tell him "I can see why that's gonna keep happening to you" then hang up and block everything possible way he could attempt to contact you. I even bought a big ass fan just to ensure I couldn't get smoke signals if she tried.

[@brittanyberghuis8007]

T Klein I was in the exact position. You feel bad for them you want to show them that they are worthy of love. I just got out of a 2 year marriage. I feel that now that I am seeking out information and audio videos on why he is the way he is, it’ll be a much smoother road. No more feeling bad no more feeling like shit bc of the terrible cold stuff he would say to me. None of those toxic cycles of fake emotions that mean nothing to him but are traumatizing to me.

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

His Life is NOT your Responsibility, however you are responsible for your own Happiness and which Treatment you allow or should NOT! Respect is Key. If someone makes you feel bad for being you, for being happy, makes you feel small, they do NOT deserve even a second of your time. Nuff said you get the picture.

[@inbeijo1144]

Don't feel bad for how they were treated as a child. My childhood was not great. But I made the choise to love others, and make their lives better. Instead of hating and destroying everyone that I encounter. The narc made the choice to hate. That's their own fault. And I will never try to help another that does not help themselves. 🤗

[@bananafish6030]

Did I write this in my sleep? I hear you Garden Bee…I’ve been separated from my narc over a year, but we still have one minor child to raise. Sometimes I feel bad for thinking this, honestly I just wish he would just drop dead already. Just a truly awful human being who lives to cut down other people.

[@insoromanoworries7923]

Omg Kevin it seems you are always speaking to me at the right time. You are truly God sent. God bless you brother

[@sabreena1khalick]

I've accepted that I have a very abusive family. Narcs won't leave me alone. My best defense is stronger boundaries, not going to their functions, standing up for myself. I have rights. Thanks for this reminder. I needed someone to remind me again. 👍👍👍

[@TheRoyalWe]

+StarlightnDust thank you so much for watching this video, and I'll make myself available to help you in any way I can. It can be very difficult with family

[@dayveda3736]

Relationships are a communication not a competition. Let that sink in.

[@bettyboo3075]

Totally agree once you interact with them even in the slightest way they pull you back in and you feed the beast

[@McFraneth]

Always have an outsider present. That really helps. The narc won't misbehave in company. Don't even go into the kitchen alone with the narc. I can practically HEAR the cogs in my mother's brain whirring as she thinks up something horrible to say. My partner cannot believe this crap. His technique is to talk and talk without stopping and not let her get a word in. He exhausts her! It's really funny and it works. She thinks he's nuts and everyone's happy.

[@TheRoyalWe]

+McFraneth thanks for sharing! I like that idea, keep talking! Lol.

[@yabe1496]

Lol, this is so good!

[@warrenchambers4819]

Hell I'd like to see that hahahaha

[@deedahl2866]

Exactly. I did this, because I knew narc adoptive Mom would "behave" in front of somebody that was my friend. I went over to pick up my Christmas decor in her garage. Later she held it against me that I didn't go inside the house and say hello to adoptive Dad. If I HAD, then she would have complained about me inviting a total stranger into her home. NOPE! I chose the option that fit me and instead of thanking me for giving her more room in her garage, she later accused me of "not saying hello to Dad for Christmas". FOR CHRISTMAS??? There was no Christmas celebration; it was ten minutes to pick up everything! See how twisted everything got? I wasn't even invited for Christmas (at another family member's house) - she held that against me too. Said I didn't get any Christmas money because I didn't come for "Christmas" to another house. I wasn't invited . . . and I told her so. She had no reply.

[@judithhetherington6029]

France Clémence Fradet u

[@alisonj9533]

Disgusting is right. I told a family member who is VERY dominant and (laughable at the same time) that she is a predator and though it felt awful, it is so true. They seek people out to abuse and intimidate just for pleasure.

[@psychoholiday-ju1cp]

You're talkin about my older sister, pretty much. As the scapegoat of my family I am thankfully no contact with three siblings. Live 2,300 miles away from my hometown anyways for decades. But that doesn't stop them. They semi openly cyber hack me just for kicks. That being said, I appreciate you using the word "predator" about them. (This is a good term from the anti-NPD community on KZbin... I used to think it was maybe overstated a little... Until I saw it was actually an understatement of sorts in my case.) I'm being harassed by people who are not even ex-lovers. It's absurd and tragic for them. (God's NOT GONNA let people like those get away with that stuff!) I like to use the term "stalker" about these weirdos. Anyway, I'm sorry you're going to the same thing I am too. There's got to be Karma or something. I just go NO CONTACT (or allow them to do that to me for not allowing them to try to interfere with my life even though they live in a different state of the United States and figuratively speaking as well, haha) and caller block thek--and I'm not putting any more effort into it than that. (Though I am on the verge of seeking out pro bono legal help so I could prosecute these people that are semi-openly cyber-hacking me).

[@JackieBlackSwan]

I ended my relationship and after four months , the Narc ex declares his love and that he finally realized I'm his soulmate. After so many on and off again ( 8 years! ) tries with me and my forgiving , he didn't see how much love I gave him. Ugh. It's like he wrote something that read to me that he hasn't grown it sounded like the words of a very first break up. But after all we been through I expected better words. But after so much info on Narc abuse n behavior I realize no contact was hard but when I saw ur video it strengthened my baby steps to full force no contact! Thank you for reminding me to say no and live myself and care for self first!!

[@TheRoyalWe]

Thank you, it is difficult and yes your right. Its like they never grow. Sounds like you are making the very best choice for you and your health.

[@er-rj8me]

Mine said the exact same thing And abused me more once I started seeing him again . He's blackmailing me to keep me hooked . I moved in with my dad but he won't leave me alone

[@JackieBlackSwan]

elizabeth rockett thank you Elizabeth and stay strong !

[@kimmcleod]

J GoHigh keep up the good work! It gets easier as time goes on and you'll be so much stronger as a result of going through this process.

[@nishamariamjamaluddin1266]

J GoHigh thanks for sharing . I experienced the same thing. Why is it in the email to tell how they are and don’t want to remember “us” in the ugliest moment. I feel it was just fake .

[@dafyddaprhys782]

Could you consider this: A Narcissist has difficulty in letting go, or suffers rejection so much is because a Narcissist has been brought up in a position of privilege. 'Golden Child' who sometimes is given the responsibility of disciplining and caring for a younger sibling. This responsibility should never be placed on a young child and puts that child as always right and backed by a Narcissistic parent. This early childhood programming becomes part of attitude and behaviour of what we realise as a Narc. The tantrum we witness when rejection triggers a Narcissistic wound is similar to a 6 year olds reaction. One of the things that Narcissists often project onto another is ... "you're so immature"... Listen to what they say for when they over react to something small or express themselves with 'word salad' or putting you down by telling you what you are thinking, and pointing out as your faults - They are projecting ... [and] this is what very young children do. Projecting is showing you what they are thinking... They are offloading or rejecting parts of themselves onto their target... my thoughts... Have immersed my self these past few years, 100s hours searching for answers. My search started asking 'Why' and didn't get me too far, but when I started searching for 'How' was it done all the answers began to flow. Love your illustration with the mix of fluids and how toxic people contaminate others on your other vid... brilliant. Regards D

[@joyismine555]

David Pryce ABSOLUTELY!

[@davidrose4942]

I heard on another video that one narcisssist went so far as to acually say that he considered people "things i plug into to get supply." no joke. This disorder is SERIOUS or it would not be in the DSM

[@patriciareinhardt3265]

David Pryce well said!! makes perfect sense, when I learned what my husband was, I realized that his dad is one also! I think you hit the nail on the head when you said 'golden child'. I get my brother now too! not all of them are traumatized, some are raised believing they are holier than thou

[@jmas1219]

Putting a child on a Golden Child pedestal is also abusive. The child is regarded as an object in that scenario and denied opportunity or reward for being himself. A false persona is projected onto him which he is too young to understand or fight against. When he is at the most absorbent and vulnerable stage of his life he is programmed, brainwashed even. The classic childhood of a pathological narcissist is one in which the father is abusive and the mother is overindulgent. There are myriad variations on this theme of course but the thread running through them all is a lack of genuine love or warmth towards the child. The child learns that to survive he must be what his parents want him to be. He must always wear a mask. This is too painful for him to deal with so he shuts down into an emotionally catatonic state. Of course many children have these sorts of parents and not all develop NPD. Many become only co-dependant instead.I say 'only' co-dependant because all narcissists are co-dependant. It is very much part of their disorder but not all co-dependants have NPD. There are some interesting studies using CT scans and MRIs of the way the NPD brain functions. There is a marked underdevelopment of one part of the brain in these patients and also a lack of connection between that part (can't remember how to spell it at the moment sorry - amygdala or thereabouts) and the Pre Frontal Cortex. This is leading neuroscientists to hypothesise that NPD may have hereditary elements. It is also possible however that emotional abuse in infancy led to these peculiarities in the NPD brain. In the same way that muscle tissue fails to develop without exercise so does the brain fail to develop in the absence of stimulus. Whatever the cause of the brain abnormality it explains why NPD is not curable. While muscle tissue can be grown at any stage in life the human brain not only stops developing at a certain age, it starts to shrink. Older people can still learn but they can only utilise those parts of the brain that were already developed and connected to each other when they were younger.

[@marlenaeva3813]

great explanation-you described my mother

[@blessed7927]

Name calling, infantilism, projections, NEGLECT, gaslighting, LYING, oh and “favors” vs “gifts”. There is only transactions. Never a “gift”. Always strings attached.

[@rosaguy9168]

This message" has helped me" so much"" it gave me strength" to keep that door closed"" from all these"" toxic"" family of mind" and a narcissistic relationship" that's 3yrs old" that keep trying to force himself" but this message here" helped me" AMEN🌅🌅 thank you Sir🌅🌅🌅

[@onelove269]

YOU'RE MINE!!! I hate when he said that about me...you're not going anywhere and neither am I!!!

[@themarro6695]

ONE LOVE I had “ Where do you think you are going? I have not finished with you yet. You are not just a roll in the hay. We will grow old together.” 😂🤔🤣

[@marthanjoroge6522]

😂😂😂😂😂 he told me that too and stalks me everyday now almost an year

[@marylnmonroe]

He would always say the same to me

[@bdavis8489]

@@themarro6695 Lets here "the other side of the story", his.

[@sanjanabhatia5156]

This is a great video. I have been stalked by an old high school classmate and went no contact when I realized she’s a narc. She threatened me by contacting my hubby on social media (he blocked her too). I felt spooked for a couple of weeks. But, as you say, these are empty threats. Amazing the low levels they stoop too. Thank you for sharing your insight. It really helped me.

[@annaburns2865]

Your wife is so lucky to have you. I really hoped my husband would help me too. But I knew he was a lot like my family. I didn’t know that meant that he was also narcissistic. It really hurts getting the narcissism from both sides. There’s no where for me to run.

[@treelover1050]

SOUNDS LIKE YOU MAY NEED TO LEAVE ALL OF THEM AND GO NO CONTACT.

[@septemberdawnluketz]

The narcs are relentless. It's very frusterating

[@iniubongnkanga9390]

I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with a narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my partner's phone, all i did was to share his phone number with (geniustracker) without touching his phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact him to help he is a genius. You can text/call [phone] or reach him on WhatsApp [phone] and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701) thank me later...

[@reshenewells6815]

Ain't that the truth

[@patriciarainey4497]

My husband scares the hell outta me when I tell him I dont want to go somewhere with him. He repeatedly asks me if I am going to go in a tone and with an intimidating stare that says I better say yes!!! I am terrified to leave. I dont know what to expect. All bad. Thank you for your videos. I can clearly understand your lessons.

[@dorothymcgonigle911]

You are scared, and you should be , I was held at knifepoint, locked in, torchered, get out quietly , start looking for a safe place long term, you will find you are stronger when you let go of all the excuses, like the fault you were made to feel, the false promises, think of the humiliation you cannot afford to endure, the strength will come, listen to TD Jakes and search out other support, it will prepare you to take matters for your survival into your hands and heart...

[@daniellemccarter5706]

Also buy a gun and take some self defense classes.

[@lisamichelle8413]

I've had such a horrendous time from my Narc family that I can't let anyone close to me ever again, I'm just broken and shattered 💔

[@TheRoyalWe]

+Lisa McClymont 🤗🤗🤗

[@furtherahead5867]

Hope your happier now.

[@masterofwit339]

I absolutely love this guy. Everything he says in this specific video is so spot on. It’s scary. Lived in trauma (voluntarily) for almost 6 years. Just left a month ago and it feels like I’ve been gone forever in one aspect yet in another- it feels as tho I just left 5 seconds ago bc of the impact the abuse and insanity has on me. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@iniubongnkanga9390]

I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with a narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my partner's phone, all i did was to share his phone number with (geniustracker) without touching his phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact him to help he is a genius. You can text/call [phone] or reach him on WhatsApp [phone] and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701) thank me later...

[@petitesophisticate6399]

I have a stalker going on 4 years. This guy just will not accept the fact that I don't want him. He's hacked my cell phones, my mom's phone and even my smart tv and router. I had to get new phones and I've ordered a new tv. All of his foolishness changes nothing. 😂I still don't want him. I've met someone new and I thank God he's been so understanding and patient with all of this. I wish you all love, peace and a Happy Valentine's Day.💝💝

[@whocares3869]

My ex narcs family told me I’m too good for him and that I did not deserve what he was doing to me. His own mother told me, he’s my son and I “have” to love him. She admitted she has a narc son and a narc daughter and that she’s caught in the middle. That’s so sad.

[@TashaBabi16]

This video is so on point! Thank you. I felt the brainwash happening. I am holding my ground. He has been coming around hoovering, smear campaigning, and turning his family against me by saying I’m keeping his son from them.

[@theviewer34virgo31]

I have this guy sitting on my bed right now. I asked him to move out, that was a month ago. So I think I'll have to start packing his things. Yes he's a bully he tried to isolate me from my older children and friends. Only his decisions are only logical. Always telling me what i can't accomplish. I'm sick of him. He became a filthy man. He doesn't clean behind himself. I have to ask him to bathe. It's sick!

[@TheRoyalWe]

+The viewer34virgo thank you so much for watching

[@carolenright7929]

The viewer34virgo .two yrs it took me and a court case before he moved ..no contact

[@kikib7310]

The viewer34virgo I totally can relate..10 yrs with a narcissist & 4 mos out now & he was a bully physically & verbally abusive but it was my home & was cheating lying & whole bunch of other crap! I caught him off guard one morning 4 mos ago woke him up, put him out, changed my phone # & don't open my door for the hoovers! U can get him out & I pray that u do!

[@suecollins3246]

Virgo, you don't pack his stuff, darling - you THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!

[@kikib7310]

@@suecollins3246 Yess Sue throw it out the window!!

[@arielklay23]

Kevin, thank you so much. I JUST went no contact and got an email from the person that confirmed what I suspected. It was a very painful letter to read, but at least I know for sure what kind of person I was dealing with. Thank God he lives across the country. This video reassured me that as much as it was an attack, it really wasn't personal. He he is simply terrified of being abandoned, but that isn't my problem. Thank you for reminding me that my responsibility is to take care of myself and examine why I attract narcs to begin with. Thanks again, Kevin!

[@TheMsmith77]

62 days no contact....My favorite song to them is : Ellie Goulding Hate Me..Perfect song to a narc/sociopath/psychopath/personality disorder/and so forth...I am smiling and laughing now. It feels sooo ggoooddd!!

[@TheRoyalWe]

👑🙌💯

[@roryrichards9340]

So it's going to take me 3 months to get better? I just found out that my Narc wife was/ is cheating on me. I'm devastated. We have 7 year old twins together. I want a divorce now but I still feel bonded to her emotionally. I'm torn. I know that if I don't end it, it will only continue to happen. My kids now are facing a paradigm shift in their near future. I'd hate to do it, but if I don't, my mind and body will take the hit and this will put my in the hospital and or quite possibly kill me. Id rather go through the pain and heal, then stay in it and perish. I need to be there for my kids. I worry how life will be for them when they have to be alone with her. I know what has to happen. However, I don't know what to do. I'm so heartbroken. I breakdown all the time now and I never cry.

[@alrightythen759]

But some narcissists kill though. My brother almost beat me to death.

[@gc8024]

My brother did this to me. Guess,what he got a new car too paid for by narc mom

[@butterflymustfly_1232]

G C Piece of shit.

[@gc8024]

@@butterflymustfly_1232 dont have nothing to do with him.

[@kennethrogers3687]

They lie, cheat, steal and kill. Watch the justice channel. Peace friend

[@myssilightful]

Mine did too.

[@attadudepc]

Of all the videos I've watched regarding narcissistic behaviour, yours is by far THE best. You tell it like it is and that is so refreshing. Thank you for your honest approach and for including snippets of your own experiences.

[@TheRoyalWe]

Thank you

[@yvonneross4404]

They also Hoover's, bullys gaslighters ,energy drainers,

[@reshenewells6815]

They stalk also and use flying monkeys

[@bettyboo3075]

I have deactivated my fb

[@deondraeporter8766]

Betty Boo same here. I Deleted her family 1st!

[@letlhogonolomoseki2336]

I had to delete my Facebook account

[@MahareyS]

Same!

[@prettylady7791]

Betty Boo me too. 4 months no Facebook

[@Keys7]

Me too. September made two years. One of the best things I ever did

[@lindabarton5063]

thanks. it's been 2 months. my mind is playing tricks on me and I needed to remember how bad it was. thank you.

[@RobD-jq7ry]

Still standing strong Linda?

[@tonykuli]

Oh my God, don’t do it!

[@kellarenna]

Absolutely spot on. I say this today after 36 missed calls from my narcissistic daughters father. He uses our daughter as an excuse to harrass me. Refuses to let me move on. Even threatens me if I try to. Harrasses anyone of the opposite sex who follows me on Instagram (he has secret accounts he spies on me with, hes blocked and all my accounts are set to private) shows up at my home constantly, shows up at the gym I go to every day, he truly believes in his mind I am his property forever and tells me things like "you owe me everything" and "I keep tabs on what's mine" "if I find out youre talking to someone, you're going to regret it" but If i ever try to schedule weekends with him for our kid, he refuses her to go out and drink. I feel like I am a prisoner.

[@TheRoyalWe]

💯

[@Healingmakescentz11]

You’re not !! I promise u this will pass . I promise God did it for me he will for u! And unfortunately I’ve had a bad pattern of Narcs 🤦🏾‍♀️ smh. But I’m healing and I’m taking a minimum of a year off of dating & focusing on myself n my healing …

[@jenniferraymond9766]

You need to get a lawyer if you don't already have one, who you can confide in about the abuse and the stalking. Document everything. When he shows up to harass you in public, or anywhere, whip out your phone and record it. Something you're doing/not doing is sending him the message that you will continue to put up with his lunacy. Make it clear that you won't. Take self defense classes and make that known on your social media accounts. Get a restraining order. Make sure your daughter is taught that what her "father" is doing is NOT ACCEPTABLE OR NORMAL. If you can, get a firearm, train with it, and get educated about your right to protect yourself and your daughter. If you can, get a concealed weapons permit. Be a good example of a strong woman and also take your daughter to self defense classes and range training.....if she's old enough to do this with you. Teach her how to avoid being a victim. There are no more excuses for women to behave like helpless victims anymore. The police will not save you, the court will not be there to stand in front of your attacker. Only you are your best advocate.

[@bbm8723]

Thank you for this video. Ex narc refuses to stop hoovering 3 months on. His constant contact is still triggering as I have major abandonment issues myself that I continue to work on healing with the help of my psychologist. I have been no contact for this time and will stick to it. Narcissists continually make you break up with them (going no contact) in this way creating their biggest fear 'no supply and annihilation' I feel his constant stalking and hoovering very violating.

[@TheRoyalWe]

This can be very difficult. I encourage you to stay away by all means necessary.

[@bbm8723]

Thanks Kevin ( I hope I've got your name correct) 5 months now and I'm still no contact. It's getting easier as the days go by. He continues to email and even sent a picture of himself. I don't read them instead forwarding them to my best friend in case he's coming to where I live so I can park my car elsewhere. I keep reminding myself of his nasty side and will stay no contact. Working to help myself. Appreciate your guidance and recommendation.

[@chellereaves]

so much I'd like to share with you but my abuser follows me on EVERY social media platform I utilize. mine feels entitled to my "destiny", my "calling", my life's "purpose" and justifies his abuse with biblical scriptures and principles. he justifies the oppression. it's been the most demonic experience of my life and I had so much rage when I engaged with him. now that I've gone no contact, I'm at peace and can actually breathe again. I look forward to listening to more of your video posts. thank you for sharing your story!!

[@TheRoyalWe]

Thank you for watching Chelle.

[@JennyB957]

They are jealous , I live and work with these kind of people. I'm to the point where like you said fb likes are just a door .

[@dafyddaprhys782]

Facebook is a problem... when one awakens and becomes aware it's also a time when personal protective radar is fine tuned and turned up possibly too high to identify any further threat. Sometimes this can also lead to misinterpretations. One needs to be careful not to react. Yes... disengage is to disengage and quietly let go. I see the difficulty you have when there is still a connection and communication that passes your way. I see your predicament clearly and open communication and mutual trust with the one's you love is so important in this situation. All the best... D

[@fredhubbard7210]

"Unfriend" it is way easier

[@SunsmileMaria]

Facebook is a mega source of narcissism!

[@funnyfelinemeow3089]

Thankfully i have never had facebook. I always thought it would be a problem for many things. Not just this situation.

[@apbxny216]

I love your channel! I am not alone with what I went through leaving my ex-narc partner. I feel validated now; making the decision to run far away (literally) feels hugely satisfying.

[@CatWoman6]

So true! They are so manipulative and cunning. Closing All Doors is 100% necessary. Block them in all forums.

[@elizabethd.2398]

I've been No Contact with my narc family for nearly 4 years now, and life has been sweet. Of course, I'm still healing from their years of abuse--but it gets easier to deal with as time goes by. But this video made me think of an episode that occurred with my narcissistic sister about six years ago (this was around the time that I realized I was being "scapegoated" by her). The truth is that I was actually being scapegoated by every member of my family--but particularly this one sister. I confided in my other narc sister and her friend that this sister was scapegoating me. A few weeks later, I was telling my narc mom that my sister was scapegoating me, and my sister overheard me. She came rushing into the kitchen where we were standing and told me straight up, "That's not gonna work -- this scapegoating thing -- that's not gonna work anymore." In other words, she was informing me that she knew I had her number but there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it -- and I HAD to accept her abuse. My heart sank and I was filled with intense fear and dread thinking, "Now what am I gonna do???!!!???" I honestly considered hiring a bodyguard to attend family functions but could not afford it financially. It also never occurred to me that I could go "No Contact" with the entire cult and take my power back. Well, I did just that a few years ago and have since been smiling smugly to myself and silently asking them, "NOW what are you gonna do???!!!???" It feels SO good to be back in the driver's seat. Thanks for your wonderful videos -- I've just recently discovered them.

[@TheRoyalWe]

Thank you for sharing your story. And welcome to The Royal We

[@kimmcleod]

Peace Joy bravo! 👏 👏 👏 for a job well done. Keep up the good work#

[@ShiaGirl18]

Peace Joy I so want this to be me! You go! All the best 😄👊

[@mikaelj3760]

The Royal We please help me, my neighbour wont leave me alone always waiting on me on his front porch we live wall to wall. and he always want to talk. he is such a negative man always slanders and blame others for his own crappy life. it has come to the point that i will not leave my apartment and totally freeze when his wife knocks on my door witch is an alcoholic. iam a very social guy and likes to talk to persons witch i did whit him when me and my family moved there and now he practicly demand me going out and talk everyday for 1.5 2 hours sometimes to 2 times a day. i feel very bad mentally because of this i fear coming home everyday from work driving up our street seeing him sitting there. i need help reclaiming my life and freedom at home

[@recoveringsoul755]

Mikael Jansson you already asked someone else this same question 3 months earlier and they gave you some good options. In this same video.

[@sonnyca]

I fear this because the abuse has been very persistent, they take me for granted and have even made direct threats about not leaving me alone.

[@matilda4406]

You are so right. I've had to learn this. Yes, it makes total sense. Cults also operate as narcissists.

[@TheRoyalWe]

+Matilda I've actually seen narcissists act with inside of a Colt, oftentimes family structures. Typical families that have the hierarchy structure act as a narcissistic cult. That is actually what I was up against, I call it Collective narcissism

[@matilda4406]

Wow! You don't know how comforting it is to hear that! That is my experience. And then there is the religious type, Jehovah's Witnesses are also a cult.

[@matilda4406]

Wow! I just read another comment about narcissists and enablers, so true, the enablers become so weak to do anything about the narc and so he/she rules. Do you have any insight into the enablers of narcs ?? I can't fathom why they continue to allow the narc, they become weak I guess.

[@robinsmith560]

Please do a video on protecting against a Hoover and staying strong on no contact over the long haul... Once we are out, the last thing we need is being brought back into any sort of contact at all. Thank you for the great videos and common sense approach, with heart. This is never fun, dealing with cluster B types, and chaos reigns until you get clear... and stay clear.

[@TheRoyalWe]

+Robin Smith you are absolutely right thank you so much for watching. And I will be working out a video soon

[@rositayoung8660]

Thank you so much! I'm going through it now. In the relationship for 13 years. Got out and did the ( no contact rule) for 2yrs. Then I saw him one day and he tried to tell me how great his relationship is now. I got away from him. Then he started sending messages by people we know,especially his mother. That was really getting on my nerves because I had to asked her to not come to my house. Got a restraining order. Things stop. Then he started showing up at my house! A few weeks ago, he tried to kicked in my door! Had him arrested. What can I do now? Live in fear? relocate I'm worried. You are so right, he said at my door, you owe me, let me in. What about my rights, do I have any? I'm tired of blaming myself for his behavior!

[@sophiachin1262]

He is tresspassing and encroaching on your private property. *** Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang*** 🔫🔫🔫 Please check your local and state laws about self-defense/excessive force and 'King of the Castle' laws. If that person keeps troubling your life and has to die for you to survive and move happily forward. So be it! It was their free will and choice to persue evil against you n they must reap what they sew. These types are demon possessed like Pharoahs and Goliaths.They are Jezebels even the Almighty God only had one resolution to free up His precious peoples lives from these imps. These characters and personalities must die out of your life forever. Write them out of the script of your life tear that page of them out of your book n burn it. Jesus casts out demons n we must do the same to live n walk in the Light and go into our best blessed destiny.

[@Phoenixdawn111]

Kevin, your platform is Godsend. Just what i needed. Its been a long and horrendous journey for me to break free. A friend asked me yesterday, what is it really gonna take for me to let go? Sickness, life changing injury, or death? This really shook me... From his observation the fights keep getting worse, and he's afraid of the end result- i now have to take responsibility for the chaos I have allowed in my life- no one can force me to stay in a relationship-I have to see it this way and stop being afraid of what he will do to me if i stand my ground and never let him come back in my life ever....

[@alfields7787]

Soooooooo true about seeing through them when they finally say something good! My exnarc abandoned me and his 3 month old daughter 17 years ago and had the audacity to like one of your Instagram pictures together. I couldn't even be mad ut was almost comical I could see his desperation to get a response from me! Sick!!!!!

[@TheRoyalWe]

Yes it is sick. Thank you for watching.

[@jeanmichelsarr6040]

« Even when they post good comments you see through it, and it’s disgusting » this is so true. They just desperately want to be part of your life without your consent.

[@rmcd823]

“The Royal We” you are fantastic. Thank you. Exactly. They force situations where they made VERY HARD for you to abandon them. The consequences are serious and threatening. I got out and took them by surprise. Still now and once in a while I have to convince myself that I am “safe” and that can’t do anything to me. I continue to work with my purification again - you talk about it in your other video, comparing two recipients: one with pure water and the dark liquid. I left my Facebook page with no inputs anymore and blocked all of them and their people. It’s all separate. It’s hard work also to clean our own anger, resentment and hurt. Being tough with them helps, as I see you can do it too. I intend to watch your other videos. Good work! (I got started in the Abraham Hicks audios/vídeos - they work joining us with our Source/Vortex. It feels you are purified again. But I still don’t have a formed personal opinion about them since their speech is channeled. I will know tho).

[@lorimiller4301]

rosely covali love or fear, it's always a choice. A choice we must make over and over, on many levels. Stop often to turn inward and check how you feel and were you are on the love/fear spectrum.

[@shirleyvanderheijden5934]

It was hell as a wife,then our son! I was conditioned to handle it instead of cutting them out of my life! Thank you for the insight and understanding,which has helped me let go and start my journey of healing! No contact is the best solution,no engaging at all!

[@michaeladalton9278]

Haha! "It's none of your business." I'm running for my life from the life wrecker 5000 miles away!

[@michaeladalton9278]

Goddamned whole family???? That's insane!

[@marygirardin5300]

I moved 1200 miles away and still got followed and stalked.

[@lonewolf-oc9vr]

I moved over sea to get away from them

[@whocares3869]

I moved to get away from a narc but definitely not far enough. I’m on the move again.

[@dianamuntyanu7267]

Thank you for sharing your personal story! It helps see we are not alone. I started watching your videos a while ago, they are amazing! The way you talk about it, the words you choose really help! I went No Contact long before I knew anything about it. It has been 4 years since I blocked all communication with narcs. What a great step in was. For so many years I had been told not to speak a word about abuse, so I started thinking it was ok. And look - how many people have to deal with it and fight for their life.

[@iniubongnkanga9390]

I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with a narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my partner's phone, all i did was to share his phone number with (geniustracker) without touching his phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact him to help he is a genius. You can text/call [phone] or reach him on WhatsApp [phone] and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701) thank me later...

[@mshenry9103]

Wow my ex narcissist and sister was just described. I just ignore the Facebook friend request from ex narc and his new supply.

[@irishdream78]

When you put your boundaries in place and put your foot down that is when they get even worse.

[@JackieBlackSwan]

Love your honesty and use of self !

[@Sophie-uc8vp]

Omg you've saved me. I can see now he's been using the dog we bought together as a way to make me still feel dependant on him - a dog ffs!!! He made me feel that I can't cope with the dog without him and that he is the put upon one! He first of all used my poor health to make me feel dependant on him, then I set my medication up so I didn't need him. Then he came around telling me details about his new supply to hurt me and re involve me. I didnt close the doors. So now he is using the dog to make me feel I need his help - and he's marketed it that he's the hard done by one but all he's doing is still manipulating me! Thank you for your perspective.

[@mandytiefen9913]

Mine used the cat we had and said he would give him away to the kill shelter if I left because he didn’t want me to have the cat.

[@Sophie-uc8vp]

@@mandytiefen9913 that is awful 😭💔

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

The narcissists in my life were praised continually and were allowed to manipulate and intimidate to get what they want. They are mean to feel superior. I blocked all family members from my facebook because they wanted to see what I was doing but didn't engage at all with me. They wanted information to gossip about.

[@TheRoyalWe]

+Gwendolyn Wehage you are sounding exactly like me. For me it is in-laws, and I've had to block them from my account also period at one time I thought it would be good to be connected to them. But as you say, they only want something to talk and gossip about period sad pathetic and mean they all are in order to feel any kind of superiority. They live in a constant competition with other people and it's so annoying. All I wanted was a relationship

[@Matt-ng4tj]

1:45 "They try to force themselves within a position of a relationship." Classic entrapment! If you don't go along, you're "difficult." But if you do, your called a so-called laughable "wimp" behind your back. In a lose-lose scenario, I'd rather lose MY way... Sing it out for me, Frank Sinatra or someone

[@stevenpatmon3502]

Thank you so much for doing this video. I have and am in such that hardwired-leech-narcissistic experience. You sharing your experience truly helps me to stay on my no-contact/get lost diet. 😂

[@TheRoyalWe]

+steven patmon right on thank you so much for watching I'm glad that these videos can help you stay no contact

[@mariapetrick4843]

oh yea just watch me

[@jensbasement3862]

1:56-2:12 I need to write this down so I can repeat it to myself when I'm feeling weird. Man, you have captured in essence, that feeling of entrapment that narcs do to their victims. Its so creepy, because they have a way of slithering through your family and making them flying monkeys, while they ignore you and only share their opinions and misogynist crap with the one family member who is a misogynist. They will sit there and deface women in this "all knowing" voice as if its "universally factual" that we are all just a bunch of drama queens.Thats if its a narc guy with a girlfriend. Narc men don't see women as individuals, and if a woman is being an individual, apart from their mold, they have to put her down...I noticed that they will have a special connection with like your father/mother or someone that has any connection with you, in order to enable the control even more. Its a hopeless feeling..

[@TheRoyalWe]

Absolutely correct.

[@loveylesley81]

jen holleran I couldn't have explained it better.....it's very creepy and it feels like the walls are closing in on you and you have no choice but to let go. I started pushing back and finally broke free.

[@brendakauffman2222]

What they do is hoover and hoover and hoover you to try to wear down your resistance. They refuse to accept that you are done because it threatens their control They go through the narc. handbook of what might reach someone to come back to them. The key is what can they do if you simply ignore them repeatedly? Just don't engage, just ignore them.

[@KatWoodland]

Exactly Brenda. My ex has sent me two letters in the mail. I wrote on both “Return to Sender” and put them back into the mailbox. He’s blocked in all other ways. It’s so great to have that toxic person out of my life. Ignoring a narcissist IS the only solution.

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you for a great video with very useful advice on how to deal with the narcisists and not to get triggered, not to defend, engage, explain and never personalise what they do.

[@davidrose4942]

It takes time Kevin and you are doing a great job!! Bravo for a great video! Got a birthday card from my narc this week. I laughed. it was SO passive-aggressive.

[@killerwhale5]

Did u throw it away?

[@davidrose4942]

@@killerwhale5 I DID indeed. Laughed as I knew all the tricks

[@Datb2]

Wow this video was so helpful!!!

[@biancavonmuhlendorf2608]

this is far more complicated with narcissistic parents-although I also went no contact. But the injury is so far more deep than with other narcissists. You totally need to find a whole nwe appraoch about life in all matters.

[@renebrown995]

Thank you so much for the heads up on dealing with the NARC. Close the door ,pull the shade. I'm not here go away. Leave ME ALONE. My new mantra.

[@mazybee9149]

Hi there, thank you so much for uploading this video. St Louis looks amazing in the background,so sunny. I am in the beginning stage of basically going no contact with both of my toxic parents. I learnt from deep reflection that I have been through horrific abuse, and I was diagnosed with complex PTSD after suffering multiple traumas since childhood- when my father is a malignant psychopath and my mother a narcissist. I have finally taken responsibility for myself now as an adult, I have really worked hard by doing things the right way in the help of my friends, registering for social housing, reporting it to police many incidences such as getting locked out of the house over the last two years, making escape plans silently etc . However, when I completed my first year of post grad with distinctions I was thrown out of home onto the streets, logging an assault as well to the police as the worst incident. Still ongoing, I feel like I'm isolated and alone because none of my friends or relatives understand toxic people the same way we do. I've discarded my situation the best I can, the abuse and violent abusers, left them to it after fleeing. I've managed to get my own place now to carry on healing and recovering,enjoying life, taking a year off,driving my life the way it should be. Lately my mother has been sending me numerous texts,calls, voicemail and she even turned up to my work place unannounced demanding to see me to my managers. I think something might happen to me because of the unpredictable behaviours ,I've also reported it but struggling to step outside my house without fear. Some days are good,some days are bad but I try to give myself a day or so to recover from nightmares. Any advice on staying strong would be appreciated...

[@queenmaat-rasekhmet9733]

Thank God for you! I have cut contact 2 times before and he has contacted family members and the last time he found out where I worked and came to my job and forced his way back in. It’s been a week since I cut contact again after 4 days he came in front of my house. I’m praying he doesn’t do anything else and I can be free🙏🏾

[@mabela.ybarra6197]

The narcissist in my life begs me to "leave him alone" go figure. Everytime I move on, he comes asking and begging for help.... Drug addict, sex addict, porn addict, easy money addict, lord I finally learn my lesson and he out of my life.

[@jeanetteoneil4562]

If you are still with your wife and kept her and your kids safe, you are my hero. I lost my child to the narcissists. They made her into one and turned her against me. I have been learning about all this the past two years eight months. I have had to forgive myself. I came from narcissists and married into them. I was the scapegoat and have fear of narcissism- seeing traits in myself and others I attract as friends into my life.

[@thothheartmaat2833]

my mom would always do nice things for me so later she could use it against me in a negative way.. wed get into an argument about something and shed say you dont appreciate anything i do for you.. because you wont tolerate my abuse right now that means you dont appreciate when we took you out to dinner last week.. she would always hang everything over my head like that.. i went to australia on a people to people trip which i guess she got the money out of my meager college savings and that trip was her excuse to do whatever rotten thing to me for the rest of my life so she could say anything to me and then say i sent you to australia and you dont appreciate it.. every fucking thing.. omg.. i learned to never accept gifts from anyone especially nice gifts.. or if they do give me something then i accept it for the love of gift giving and thats it.. no attachments.. if theres any attachment whatsoever then i shun that person.. i see what youre doing.. trying to gain leverage over me..

[@recoveringsoul755]

Oh no. My daughter was invited to Australia with them too. But it was super expensive. I never would have touched her college money, that's for college. So your mom stole YOUR college funds to send you on a trip, and used that like it was a gift? Stealing from you is not a gift. She got bragging rights about her smart child by using your money. She will take credit for your accomplishments. It's what they do.

[@marlenaeva3813]

exactly! that's so fucked up

[@candywilkins9599]

My Dad always would do nice things for me and then say "Well if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have blah,blah! He felt then I should be forever in his deat

[@MahareyS]

SAME!

[@MahareyS]

@@recoveringsoul755 my mom did thst with mine as well. I thought i was crazy!

[@yaelshmaryahu5314]

The very sickest thing about me even after all this incessant abuse and it's just getting worse after 20 years why do I still feel so sorry for him? It's the empathy it's keeping me hooked, as sick as that sounds.

[@rachelspohn]

How do you handle compassion towards these abusers? Especially when they are family members? This is the struggle I have. Even though I’m done and I don’t want anymore of the abuse in my life, I “feel bad“ for this person. Then to top it off I have the flying monkeys from the rest of the family using Christianity and forgiveness to try to make me forgive this person. It’s not about forgiveness - I have forgiven them. It’s about the fact that they never change and I don’t want this in me or my children’s lives. I love them - but I love me too. So, do you have a good response for this guilt? Thank you!

[@TheRoyalWe]

Excellent question and I will work on a video to address this

[@amarildopires2979]

Guilt is what they hook you with write it down and burn it and accept that Compassion is not a weakness. My own father is a narcissist it took a lot of effort but cut em off You gonna feel bad for a while but it's worse you have to chose who you give it too

[@charlyb7231]

I've been struggling with the exact same thing. The abuser is my mother and I just cannot take it anymore. 33 years of pain and struggle and suffering by her hands. But anyway, I think you have actually answered your question. And I think you're handling it well. We must forgive them, yes, but that doesn't mean we are excusing or accepting their behaviour. You can forgive someone but never want to see them again. Toxic people need to go. They are bad all round. And remember, they have done this to themselves. Don't feel bad for distancing yourself. It is their fault that you have had to come to this decision. And they have never felt bad for any of the pain and abuse that they have caused you. These people know exactly what they are doing. They are not oblivious. They are purposefully harrassing you and playing games with you, and they are actors. Them changing faces means they they're hiding from someone. They don't want that person to see the real them. For example, they are nasty at home with you but then all of a sudden they are so awesome towards others when they are in public. You see, they have changed their face. They are now acting. There's no such thing as they don't know what they are doing. You can feel bad and sad for them, but only because of what happened to them to make them become this way. Otherwise never feel bad for leaving or for putting your foot down. They don't care how you feel when they are abusing you.

[@kaasuphi7010]

Kevin, keep up your good good work. Aiding, helping, supporting all victims of narcersists from your own experiences. They are very damaged individuals, but they need to man up, woman up, take responsibility for their hate fuelled conduct and get help to heal themselves. God Bless and keep you and your beloveds always, protect all victims suffering at the hands of narcersissts. Amen.

[@OceanbornAngel]

Thank you so much for these videos. These help give me strength and confidence. I am fortunate knowing I'm not alone.

[@TheRoyalWe]

+MonsterHunterRoon thank you for watching

[@raychelwasserman-nix1508]

A NEVER LOVED MOTHER, THAT IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BREAK THE ABUSIVE NARSSISTIC WAYS SHE WAS RAISED....IS NO EXCUSE FOR TOXIC BEHAVIOR. I WENT NO CONTACT LAST THANKSGIVING & ALLLL HER NEGATIVITY LEFT ME WHEN I WALKED OUT HER DOOR. ~ I AM EXTREMELY BLESSED THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY SHAME OR GUILTY...JUST FREE FROM A LIFE OF " MOMMIE DEAREST, wannabe. " 🙄~ GREAT VIDEO, HOPE UR FEELING BETTER ABOUT LEAVING UR TOXIC PPL. BLESSINGS ALWAYS 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@alfields7787]

You are so right about the social media thing! I opened up an Instagram account and posted pics of myself and my beautiful 17 year old daughter going to see the new spiderman homecoming movie. She is the daughter of a malignant narcissist who abandoned her soon after birth. He left us for another woman who already had 2 teenage sons from someone else. So he goes to her trying to reinvent himself, that was in 2000. He has never called his daughter or come to see her or given me one penny towards raising her. I hadnt seen or heard from him since then. Totally forgot he existed! I tried to regain contact with him for her same because I believed every child should know where they came from! BIG mistake. He disowned and disrespected me and her all over again, even his parents rejected her, they made the excuse that we must have returned for money! Seriously? Dude drives a forklift at a supermarket! Anyway i digress. I blocked him on facebook and kept my phone number unlisted. I went complete no contact last December. Just recently he searches me out and finds my IG account and had the audacity to like our pic(me and his daughter!). I immediately knew from learning about how these creeps operate that he was trying to show me that he was not going anywhere and he was entitled to partake of our happiness. I ignored him. I did not hit the follow button which he was banking on me doing. I follow anyone else who likes my pics except him. He continued to like more pics. One day I typed a caption under our daughters picture and it said"I want to thank my loving husband and stepfather to my daughter for raising her and loving her like his own since 8 months old. Real men raise them fake ones only know how to make them! " he liked the post out of egotist retaliation! I ignored him again and he hasn't liked anything of ours since! Narc injury much!!! Love The Royal We with a passion! Keep up the great vids!

[@TheRoyalWe]

Al Fields thank you for sharing your powerful story with me.

[@LadyDeri]

Wow I’m taking notes!! 📝

[@olusinajoyce6379]

Al Fields .... You should be very grateful he abandoned you, especially your daughter, otherwise, you could be having an unhappy damaged or narcissistic daughter by now. It would have been a different and more traumatic for you to deal with.

[@BLACKALIEN2000]

Al Fields Block Block Block that fool

[@ZoomILike2flyAway]

Al Fields Ooh. I have a question for ya. why do you keep your social media site "open to the public" instead of keeping it private? oh and, do you just like the attention and leaving yourself open to his ways to tell about it in public forums?

[@akiwondo]

Sorry you had to put up with this. Really feel for you and I know what your are talking about. It takes a lot to elevate your mind and come out of a spiral, but one you do it’s like 1 million tonnes of your shoulders. Peace 🙌🏼

[@TheRoyalWe]

Yes

[@victorialsaint7157]

i dont know what to say, my side is soo worse, i go no contact 100%. he stalk my life for many years now. including 1000 of letters he sent, or put something in my letter box. gawd i feel soo scare and hate him at the same time. my plan to go to police and bring all those stuff with, lets see whts come after.

[@lennsoulessaint1206]

Exactly, you have spoken nothing but the truth! Many blessings to you and yours

[@TheRoyalWe]

+Lenn Soulessaint thank you so much for watching I appreciate it

[@lennsoulessaint1206]

Right on! Have a peaceful day