The NSFL Iceberg Explained ❤️ (PART 5)

[@imogenmangle]

Mayyyyyy, girly. Been watching you for years. It seems tragically inevitable that your work on this channel led to this iceberg, but I'm glad you're breaking free. We love your creativity and what we want as your audience is to see you flourish. Totally get that sometimes you (as in people in general) feel like you have to go to absolute depths, like it's required or important, that there will be some truth to glean from it or whatever - and you are truly insightful. But I - I've been saying we up til this point, but I, me, personally - don't want to see you get hurt from exposure to this kind of thing any longer. As I said, we really just believe in you. We like your art. We can't wait to see what you create next. Glad you're moving on.

[@alicethemad1613]

In light of your tweets and the shit the internet has been putting you through, I just wanna say you’re really pretty and I’ve loved your content from day one, but honestly I think it’s much better now that you’re being unabashedly YOU. There’s a unique perspective trans people have on dark or horror content especially if it involves real life shit that feels so much more respectful and realistic than those of people who haven’t had to go through the stuff we do. As another trans person, it’s just nice to see.

[@ChrisMeadows1992]

That child 911 call is harrowing, emotionally brutal and life-changing to listen to. I'd say avoid it, because it is triggering and traumatic to hear, but of all the things in these iceberg tiers, this is the one that made me a kinder and more compassionate person after experiencing it.

[@lenorebelladonna]

saw that one on accident a few years back. shit sticks with you

[@winglessfairy564]

That’s such an interesting take on grotesque things. Way better than being terrified of the entire world, like me

[@_M_a_r_t_i_n_M]

THIS. And without knowing what you're actually getting into prior to looking up as the title of it nor web posts at a cursory look can ever possibly help to warn someone of the true nature of the audio contents of the call. It is nothing short of haunting and good luck getting to sleep the night after hearing it and seeing the translation for the words screamed.. That voice.. That voice is the sound of true pain anguish and fear unbridled packaged into a few seconds. It WILL chance you within, no matter how scarred and callused you are. You would need to be a literal psycho/sociopath and therefore no feelings pathologically to not feeling like your chest had been squeezed. It's jus.. It's different than say 3 guys and a hammer blank holocaust come and see.

[@ChrisMeadows1992]

@@_M_a_r_t_i_n_M Being a parent also helps make it especially gutwrenching.

[@natpoolpewpew7112]

So I’m not going to to listen to the audio because I can only imagine how awful it, but I wanted to help put your mind at ease a bit. I looked into the story since I wanted to know if the child ends up ok, and it seems it might be a hoax. Found an article about it and a Reddit talking about the article. I really hope it is a hoax

[@piperfuriosa]

Despite how horrible it all is, your message at the end was really wonderful to hear. I'm a severely traumatized person & have fell hard into a Ligotti-level of nihilism & cosmic pessimism because of the pain. Hearing you talk about how we need to turn away from continuing the cycle of exploitation gave me a strange sort of feeling of hope. Like it's possible to not live in the sort of pain that turned me to this dark of media in the first place. I don't know if that makes sense, but thank you.

[@_M_a_r_t_i_n_M]

Makes sense to me. What you just said resonates with me in a way I can't quite put words to. But I found what I've been scrolling down through messages for. There is FAR more to this series May did than simply speak out a checkbox of items regarding media and a cursory description. No, May went full in and took it to a level beyond. And as a more direct thing as a reply; there is a reason people like me and you are still around to even be saying this and that we would be lying to ourselves to say life and the world is truly hopeless, or else we would have checked out back when that idea was entertainable. Nah, it's things like the underlying message in May's series here. Each day brings something new, and the next day always has something else to wake up for and get done. And every now and then something super fucking awesome comes around and yeah.

[@piperfuriosa]

@@_M_a_r_t_i_n_M Thank you so much for saying what you did. It means more than I can say.

[@callum6123]

Speaking of pipelines I think there’s a weird pipeline between lost media and nsfl iceberg. Like somehow as a teen I went from learning about lost Pre-Code horror movies to watching Faces of Death

[@SirChubbyBunny]

I can kind of see it since I was sort of the same way, though probably the inverse. So I learned about stuff like Faces of Death and Cannibal Holocaust at an early age, then I learned about the lost media community and it eventually spilled over into the NSFW/NSFL side of things.

[@Aaron-mj9ie]

There absolutely is. I think it's just a thing about mysteries being associated with "darkness". Lost media could just be all about finding an unreleased demo of your favorite video game franchise, but people make it into something far worse because we are archivists who want to see EFERYTHING.

[@callum6123]

I always think of Christine Chubbuck, a woman who shot herself on live tv in the 70s. The footage is lost and lots of people are seemingly desperate to find it and like…why?

[@morganalabeille5004]

The Lost Media Wiki has an entire NSFL category

[@Willowposting]

Majority of NSFL content is just completely unnecessary. There's some stuff that has genuine historical significance and while I don't think everyone should see it, it should be archived (9/11 footage being an example). But most of it just kinda disgusts me. People really want to find the footage of Owen Hart's death and it just baffles me as to why. Sure, morbid curiosity, but the family has stated multiple times that they wish to keep it locked away. That should be respected.

[@leeesbian]

hi may first of all i love you and your content (ive had a hard time finishing fluids partly because i dont want it to end and im afraid to see how it ends), and as much as this series has been eye opening, entertaining at times and terrifying at others, im really glad to see you taking care of your mental health and making the decision to work on projects that bring you joy and fulfillment without sacrificing your sanity

[@joeyj6808]

Funnily enough, I am in the same quandry with Fluids. It has sat on my bookshelf, 5/6 read. I fear to read the ending, because then it will be over! I will get to it soon as the temptation reaches an appropriate level.

[@cindycarter199457]

After I read fluids I started listening to the audiobook. Read in someone elses voice makes it feel kind of new.

[@spellb1nder]

Thank you for being so frank and open about this subject and the other subjects covered in these videos. Your honesty and openness is one of the main reasons I originally found and sought out your channel and it has been a joy to listen to your thoughts. Love and happiness to you, May, and keep making kickass music!

[@xalisonxcloudx]

I came for the content but stayed for your personality and honesty. Not enough creators are honest about what they want and I respect you immensely for what you said during the last of this video. About these type of videos as well as the content creation grind. I hope you can continue to do what your passionate about and will share it with us on your own terms. Thank you for everything!!!!

[@SammieLuvable]

This has been one of, oddly enough, my comfort series I put on in the background. I've always been fascinated by "disturbing" content and like any child of the internet age, have been exposed to a lot of graphic content. May, your delivery has really made this experience cathartic and comforting, and your viewpoint on these things and your positive nihilism is always charming. Having listened to your audiobook of Fluids, and being an avid watcher of your content for a while now, I truly hope you consider continuing to pursue content in this vein, albeit of course not consistently as heavy. Prioritize your mental health, and I truly hope you begin to approach a good, healthy place for your mind. Love you!

[@Ijioy]

this is really fucking disrespectful.

[@SammieLuvable]

@@Ijioynot really sure what you mean. Perhaps I wasn't clear. When I said, "content in this vein" I meant similar to her book, and other themes like those mentioned here. Which is what the book is about. I was not referring to more "iceberg" videos.

[@ringer1324]

If this iceberg truly was your final video of this kind I’d say you ended it on the highest note . While I’m sad this channel I’ve been following for so long may be over as I know it if this is truly gonna help you be happier in the future I support it. Your well-being is more important than videos about people dying online. I look forward to seeing your future music and writing and I hope that you will feel fulfilled in the art you create. Whatever you do next I will be there to support it. Thank you for everything May.

[@_illuminette]

I hope May knows that she shouldn't feel pressured to make videos abt disturbing stuff if she doesn't want to! Do whatever makes u happy & don't pay attention to what fans or the algorithm say, ur doing awesome 🖤

[@coffee69420]

may, as someone whos been a fan of yours for about 3 years, i really hope you take care of yourself. i love hearing you talk about the things youre passionate about and i find your insight into art and life in general to be extremely valuable. your life is MUCH more than just a machine for making content and making number go up, but you already know that. while i and many others would obviously be a little bummed if this was your last video, your mental health is MUCH more important than that. regardless of what youre doing, please just continue being yourself and stay safe

[@ThatMackieGirl]

As someone who's watched you since the That Weird B-Movie Show era, I'm a little sad to see you put the channel away but I'm so so happy that you're prioritizing life over your content. I can't wait to see what the next stage of your life holds! You've turned me onto some of the weirdest and spookiest stuff you can find, and I'm so grateful for that.

[@ktorgs]

I'm really sorry that these have messed with your mental health so much, I couldn't even imagine. 😓 I first subscribed because I can't lie, the icebergs fascinated me and I really appreciated your views and how respectful you are when it comes to speaking on them. I must say though, I stayed because you are genuinly so funny and talented!! I really enjoy all of your stuff and I'm planning on purchasing Fluids ASAP 🙊💕 I'm so glad you're going to just do what you LOVE! Can't wait 🤗

[@AwsmNix]

Just wanted to say you have drastically changed how I view content about NSFL in a valuable way that rehumanized it and what seems to have been your goal did work on me at least, and I’m sure many others. I’m sorry you felt pressure to complete this project despite its harm to you to create, but I hope you can see the impact you have had on us and I am so grateful for you insight and discussions on it all.

[@fluffyfishcool226]

I am sorry you have seen so many harrowing things during this series to put it mildly- but i am more than happy to hear you prioritizing your art and life over content. Whatever you do going forward I am very excited to see what it is! I adore your music and when you review things that make you passionate, and your book Take it easy May, live well🦔💚

[@itsmarthai]

I'm so glad that you're putting yourself first and that we're going to see more amazing stuff like Seraphim and Fluids from you

[@mybruisedarm]

I was a teenager in the early 2000s and watched hundreds of videos like these. It absolutely traumatized me for the rest of my life, and I deeply regret it.

[@clubbasher32]

How and when did you see the trauma manifesting? Did it come up all at once or overtime?

[@kayleighbrown459]

Early 2000s was the wild west of internet. Kids today are so well protected in a way we never were.

[@AleTitan]

​@@kayleighbrown459on one hand, yes, on the other, there are a lot more PeDos online now

[@shadesofruin805]

I support you prioritizing art that your heart is in and that you feel passionately about. You are one of my favorite artists and you have inspired me so much I've been a fan of your videos and your music since I was 16 and now I'm 22. I look forward to continue supporting your music and writing and if you ever do plan on returning to making videos I hope it will be something you love.

[@fursona_au_chocolat]

"the FBI had to look at it in shifts" made my skin crawl

[@Brattymoth]

I am so happy that you are putting your life before gaining subs, we need you to be around creating cool stuff not just obeying the whims of youtube. I watched these like I do all your content to support you and feed the numbers. I will be happy to not feel the need to injest this stuff to support you. Watching the later part of this video hits especially hard after waking up shouting and punching from nightmares today.

[@everenferno]

I love your historic geopolitical and empathetic approach to this whole iceberg, which not only eases the unbearable shock of it all but helps to get a lot of us who live in the dark to know how privileged and free we really are. Steering away from the climax of child and animal abuse was a refreshing way to end a series that intends to further disturb. I feel like plagued moth is a little obligated to talk about it since he made it (and making another tier) but there’s definitely a LEGAL risk even knowing about these final topics and he needs to tread lightly before throwing people into a path of trouble :( With that said, watching his series on this (up to where youtube removed it) wasn’t a regret, i just had to be careful not to get traumatized. He does give a lot context and details so i did like that about his videos. For that alone id watch an edited version of his series as well.

[@antonh2519]

It’s sooooo refreshing to see KZbinrs talk about this kind of stuff with the legitimacy and honesty you do. Any other KZbinr would have made this series some sort of exploitative event solely for views shock and money and I’ve been extremely impressed with the way you’ve handled it. Please let yourself rest and I hope you can have some more fun with your videos in the future 💙 if anybody deserves it it’s you

[@ManuSDP]

I’ve been subbed to this channel for about 2 1/2 years, I would like to thank you for all this time we indirectly spent in company through video. Whatever you do next, I’ll be happy regardless. Thank you May.

[@kemiandthemachine]

I remember finding out about you through your Nightmind collab a while ago. Loved your reviews and your energy and I became an instant subscriber. You're one of those creators whose content I really enjoy, especially as someone who's not good with horror and is pretty squeamish. Hearing your thoughts on horror and weird out-there media has always been a blast for me. Honestly, the only reason I even watched your NSFL Iceberg was because it was a video you made and I like hearing you talk about stuff, so yeah, please focus on stuff you love and are passionate about. If you decide you'd rather stop posting altogether, that's fine, your mental health and happiness are what matter the most. I'd rather have zero videos and know that you're living your best life than knowing you're making stuff that makes you feel awful for the sake of your audience.

[@AmelyaStaiano]

omg I didn't even know there would be a 5th part! I'm glad you took a break for yourself, you deserve it. thank you for always giving a very good take that puts in words how a lot of us feel about all this horrible shit. we love you may, take as much time as you need in the future to keep yourself safe!

[@meerlylemon]

i dont know if you'll see this, but know that some of the things you've said this series have HUGELY helped me figure out what i want to do with my life. when you said that you wanted to be a bloomer, not a doomer, that spoke to my soul. take care of yourself and continue to bloom, may, and thank you for making this video ♥

[@Ironorchids]

I don’t think all NSFL stuff is guaranteed to be exploitive. Sometimes it can be cathartic. When I was nine, I walked in on my father who had recently **** himself and had to be the one to call the authorities. If a recording of that call existed, I’d be really happy to hear it again myself and share it with anyone who was emotionally prepared and curious so that they could know what something like that sounds like. I also understand the opposition to that too and don’t think people should be forced to have that sort of thing about themselves released or profited from. Anyways, thanks for the video, I’m quickly becoming a huge fan of your channel, Nyx. I hope you don’t feel too bad after making this video and I respect your principles and values and look forward to your future content and opinions. Have a good day! Also I’m sorry but I did make a contribution to you channel because of this video before I got to the part where you asked people not to do so. I hope you don’t feel that was disrespectful given the context, I just wanted to demonstrate my support of you in general. Once again, thanks.

[@Aaron-mj9ie]

I'm glad that you stuck to it and finished this iceberg. You did an excellent job, and you should definitely spend as much time as you can focusing on... Anything else. I think it was very important for you to film this so that people know and understand that this stuff is out there. Not so they can seek it out, but because our naivety and comfort often let us forget that there are worse things than scary movies out there. There are real, awful atrocities that we shouldn't focus on, but that we should know exist, and we should be vigilant in trying to prevent them.

[@tabambi]

I appreciate the way you’ve covered these topics cautiously and respectfully. That’s really the only acceptable way to cover them. I’m looking forward to seeing videos about the things your passionate about!

[@hurricanerae]

If there is one positive thing you, May, can take from this series, I hope it's that you alone have been able to put a context to these sort of things that no one else could have. You have done some good. Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to getting your book in the mail soon and hopefully hearing you expound about things you are passionate about.

[@ZimMan2]

You are easily one of the realest, kindest, and most intelligent creators I've ever discovered on this site. Please, ignore the bullshit, do what you want, what satisfies and fulfills you. I more than trust it will be great and I'm legitimately excited to see where you're going.

[@ashton7282]

I love you may, I can’t wait to see more of you, whether it’s music, writing, or KZbin videos. I just love you. You’ve been such an inspiration to me for years, and I will continue to support you for years to come.

[@masterseal0418]

I've heard the child calls 911 audio via the fucked up mixtape Amber Alert. It made me sad and angry, almost like I want to help that kid and protect her as well as fight back. The memories when you mentioned it returned to me, with chills in my body altogether. The audio really made me a better person and to protect those who are in need of help, but my god isn't it so damn disturbing!

[@andreacervantes8905]

If anyone deserved a wholesome break and fun, it's you, May! This was a tough year (according to your Twitter) and it's OK to take of yourself. Love your book and the podcast!

[@carles2623]

THE QUEEN HAS RETURNED 😭😭😭 I missed youuuu When the video is over you and I are gonna do a big hug

[@unnamedgraves]

honestly I've been keeping up with this series because I love you're perspective on it. I've had times in the past where I've been mentally stuck looking at awful shit and seeking it out. I even know about the zoosadist/necrozoo stuff and it was NOT on darkweb it was in callout posts for active youtubers! evil shit can be so hypnotic and draw you into endlessly seeking out more and more of it. like you just keep digging- so its nice to watch something that feels like a sit-down conversation like "no, you don't have to keep looking at this stuff you can just walk away" also your music kicks ass

[@amandaparsons6650]

I would LOVE to see a cute animal iceberg! But I would rather see something you are passionate about. You have to take care of yourself. You do the projects that bring you joy. Your true fans will follow.

[@mollylong3571]

Especially because there's so much content from real zoos and stuff on the internet now, I want to see May do a tier list of the cinncinati zoo video regulars.

[@trailersparks]

A lot of people who engage with this content purposefully desensitize themselves, but you’ve always held onto your heart. Thanks May ❤

[@Taradoxxi]

may i'm so relieved you've finished this series bc i was legit concerned about the volume of harrowing shit you've had to subject yourself to for ~content~. i hope whatever you decide to do next is something that brings you joy and comfort and peace.

[@lucrezia5414]

hey May, sincerely I love to just to hear you talk about anything, and I’ll be looking forward to any kind of thing you put out in the world. you are such a interesting, strong and kind voice and I hope life will have just good things in store for you!

[@MayuCVA]

I had been thinking about something kinda similar lately. I've been obsessed w/ true crime ever since I was around the age of 15 (I am now 29) and I never realized that some people who are obsessing w/ it online... are really gross about it. What I've always loved was watching justice be delivered to horrible criminals. I loved watching how the investigations happen, how clues were found, and how people come together to catch a criminal and bring some kind of peace to victims and survivors of different crimes. I always had to sit down after, thinking in my head how happy I am some disgusting bastard of a criminal is now in jail, and how justice was brought for someone, even if it's so long after. I always wished I could help too, and my mind would go into "What if I become an investigator and help out myself?" or "I wonder if I can help in some kind of way some day." I had never realized that the people now a day are using true crime as a fun, entertaining form of gossip and shock value content? The disrespect they show the victims by bringing up everything like it's something fun to talk about over drinks, or the fact some people ADMIRE the criminals??? It's so goddamn disgusting. I've cried over some documentaries of true crime just thinking about the families, the victims, the impact they had and how the victims must have felt... And then I scroll down to see the comments being just jokes and people talking about it like it's a fictional show or drama?? This ISN'T okay. These are real people, real cases, and it's not something to be taken lightly as just entertainment. People are becoming too desensitized to these things, and it's worrying. I know I contribute to the creation of true crime content by consuming it, but this is why I've taken upon myself to start this conversation when I see it's needed, and I try to only consume the content that is respectful and takes the matter seriously... and just hope it helps in the long run that the people using it for fun receive less interactions and views and the ones who handle these things respectfully will become the new standard. sorry for the hella long comment, oof. .

[@Gingabread-bw6xj]

So I’m a few years older than you and while I never particularly cared for true crime, my mom had it on TV a lot so it was in the background. What you’re observing isn’t necessarily new. Most things on the ID channel, shows like Dateline etc always sensationalized these crimes. It just wasn’t as obvious because you had actual journalists involved interviewing families. It was still very exploitative. Also, half for like half of these shows the criminal didn’t get put away. People didn’t face justice and if anything these shows often highlighted how the justice system and courts can fail people and how they mislead the jury. I just think it’s funny that while my mom had the same reaction as you in regards to being happy for most of these outcomes, I found it rage inducing and couldn’t understand why others weren’t more upset. I will say, I’ve found that since the pandemic and because it’s so easy to make true crime content since it never ends, creators are doing such a poor job going over these cases. They tell stories in such convoluted ways to add mystery but it’s just hard to follow. They’re eating, or drinking and acting like they’re having a slumber party and sharing high school drama. It’s insane. There’s even been situations where the family of the victim reaches out and says “hey can you not do this story and be respectful?” And the creator refuses because it gets clicks and then people harass the family. I think the main difference from stuff like Dateline to what we see now is dateline was at least well done and tried to be respectful. I’ve only seen a handful of creators on here able to do the same.

[@Tzeentch1]

You're such a great and passionate speaker, my takeaway is that everyone beyond the most casual observer is able to see that beyond the disturbing content. Whatever you do beyond this, I'm here for it. It could be you talking about your favorite foods for an hour, just do what you feel and there will be many who will listen.

[@1358Paco]

This series is one of the most honest and interesting pieces of media about the relationship between media and exploitation. Not only is there this narrative about the iceberg itself, but a metanarrative about how interacting with this media has affected you negatively and our relationship as audience watching both the videos themselves and your reaction to them.

[@veronicadow1407]

I think the first 2 mins of this video is the best thing I’ve seen on KZbin this year

[@leilanicamacho4654]

May, you can make any content you want, I and the rest of us will still watch :) I enjoy your style of commentary and even when you talk about all these horrible things, they don’t even throw me in that cynical black hole because the way you talk makes it feel less morbid. Seeing you upload is such a treat and I can’t wait until your next video! 🖤

[@lilin_we]

hey may, its no problem that you took a break from this :) put yourself first, and if you want to stop doing these kinds of videos you should! im just glad to hear youve been ok in your absence

[@Crazymota]

You are a blooming Mayflower. I've been here since your first videos. Love horror and talking about horror media. There's a lot of bigger channels but you're an oldie for horror media on here and I enjoy your perspective and analysis. Watching you and other horror creators I felt like I was a part of this larger community, hearing everyone's ideas and thoughts. I never really had friends that liked scary movies so I would watch them alone and... Wouldn't really have anyone to talk to them about so I went to the internet. I love that you went to film school and that you share some of what you've learned when talking about various films.

[@vhsextra4042]

Gosh, your great. Love your music. I'll support your journey

[@ModestTater]

Super feisty, love it. Welcome back!

[@henatatorplays]

I have not googled anything and I just wanna say that I watched this series only because I watch everything you put out, and I want to keep doing that for the stuff you enjoy making. I mostly subscribed for horror movie recommendations and stuff anyway, so like it's good to hear you are moving past that. Not really in a financial position to support but i think I'll buy fluids for myself for Christmas now that I'm working and stuff. I like hearing you talk and say words that's all

[@khirnera]

May, I followed you just after your first iceberg video. It was a hook, for sure, but what got me to stay was the way you thoughtfully and poignantly analyzed horror movies in your other videos, in each one tearing down the nihilism society is beginning to feel more and more in regards to violence and death. I'm sure you'll keep going on enjoying horror movies, but I could tell these icebergs were taking an incredible toll on you through your presentation in videos and on words on twitter. I love you, your personality, the way you think and talk about things like this, and I have enjoyed receiving your insight on even the bullshit on this list and how the internet as a whole processes to and reacts to them. As much as I've enjoyed the ride however, I am in full support of you putting this kinda shit behind you. Hell, if you stopped making videos entirely, even if your online music presence vanished, I'd support your decision. Life should be spent in the pursuit of happiness, and if you decided your happiness came at the cost of Content, then I'm behind you on that. Thanks for doing your best to tough it out when really no one should have to

[@cryptidonstrike]

I’m sorry for contributing to this by watching. Know that it really did have a valuable impact on me- you made me realize the insidiousness and political motives behind a lot of things and I found comfort in the way you recontextualized despair. I’m sorry it came at such a cost and I’m sorry for my partial responsibility in it.

[@abstractmidnight]

May, your creativity and insight is so pertinent to this world

[@callie4808]

I am not going to lie, I found you because of these icebergs but I 100 percent would never have subed or continued watching would it have not been for your commentary and the way you spoke about the issues being brought up. I am new but I straight up would watch anything you want to make a video about because I like hearing you passionatpy talk about subjects. Do what makes you happy and I will be there may ❤️

[@theworsttm4873]

I’m not the best at wording this kind of thing, but thank you for this video and for bringing up these conversations about how social media can affect us 🖤 Burnout is so real, knowing your limits to make sure you can keep creating is never gonna be a bad thing. Thank you for choosing yourself (and showing us that we can do the same) I’m personally a big fan of ur music, and can’t wait to hear more!!

[@OoglyWooglies]

when i saw you talking about this video on twitter i was thinking to myself that you really dont need to continue this series, that youve already said everything an audience seeking this type of "content" needs to hear but im really glad you said what you said here. i want to tell you that i dont watch anything you make because its horrible and dark its because its nice to hear what you think about things because you are so incredibly smart and thoughtful and funny. (also i really want to buy your book but i have 0 dollars i really wish i could support you more) i hope the audience thats gathered here from this series falls in love with the stuff you really care about

[@aliceangel262]

A nyx makeup commercial came up before this, ur ads are on point my dear

[@SirChubbyBunny]

Oh, the timing couldn't be more perfect. Just cute fun stuff to watch in the waiting room of my doctor's office. Edit: Well, I'm back since I had to pause just as the photo of the iceberg came up, and oh boy, do I hate it. I saw Amber Alert and I'm filled with so many memories of the Mondo Gore sub getting into some heated discussions over it, and I'm pretty sure someone wanted to put a bounty out on the maker for it. Edit 2: Thank you for putting all of this together and the closing statements, May. As others said, we're always here to support you and your art because that's ultimately what we're here for. If you aren't having fun and it's actively harmful to you, leave it behind to burn. Your insight and perspective on all of this, especially the violence pipeline, has been more vital than I feel you believe and you're right that we don't have nearly enough discussions about them. But, nonetheless, I hope that whatever comes next brings you more fulfillment, warmth, and opens the doors to a lot of new opportunities. Stay safe out there, May. We love ya.

[@Hibernation-Library]

May being happy and silly in the intro added years onto my life. 💖

[@TriniGamerGirl7]

It took me 15 hours to get home from a trip, and a lot of patience to finally get to watch this video. I'm exhausted but happy to see May Leitz! 💙

[@lilithsenesca2535]

Not really sure how to form this comment because I'm a person who is usually very sensitive to topics such as this, I don't even watch horror movies anymore because I can't handle what is portrayed in them. The irony is not lost on me for ending up this comment section. Small side note that's why I appreciated your approach with this iceberg because it made it digestible without taking away the meaning of why you made the series. With that said I was intrigued enough by what your thoughts would be that I decided to watch the series. The dialogue that you had at the end was something that I was hoping to find out of something like this, it definitely impacted me once it was done. This iceberg shouldn't be perpetuated the way that it is. Instead it should be used to provide context as to why we need to be sensitive towards something like this because this stuff happens, it's real. It shows why we should feel something when we hear about the club shooting in Colorado or any other traumatic event. Again, it's not lost on me that by viewing this series it perpetuates the cycle but I can at least say that I was impacted by it and I was impacted for the better. Lastly, I do want to extend an apology to you, May/Nyx Fears for having to endure what you saw during this series. I can only imagine how traumatic it may have been at times. Coming from a genuine place of enjoyment for your channel such as your movie reviews or the video essays on House Of Leaves or Holy Mountain, your music as a whole, and your book Fluids. I'd much rather have you make content you're passionate about over doing nothing at all because I would miss you more than I would miss the content that caused you to feel the way you do. Especially as a trans person who has their own little unique interests your channel has felt like home. In conclusion to my novel of a comment, I hope all of that made sense and came across how I hope it will. Thank you for what you do, May. I look forward to the content that you're passionate about being released.

[@aivanlegal]

Hey, don't stop doing videos. I started watching your iceberg videos because I was bored - I usually hate these type of videos tbh, but I gave it a chance. I really liked the way you approached the topics, with empathy and critical thinking, I don't think I ever saw a youtuber that talks about disturbing subjects being this thorough. Do videos about topics you like, we will watch it! These type of content is not good for a person's mental health, doesn't matter how many views you get from talking about it. Stay safe ❤

[@jordand5555]

This 5th part was reccomended to me without having watched your channel prior. If anything youtube algo is the maniac.

[@candycane106]

My fav content from you has always been the movie critics, I like the way you think, that’s why I watch, can’t wait to see what comes next!!!

[@heart4brainzz]

i hope you know that when i discuss your with friends i dont say your the “gross iceburg content maker” i talk about how youve talked about trauma and self harm in a way that genuinely healed me and made me understand myself more. like, your work means so much to me, and im excited to see what you make in the future, even if its not what i initially came to your channel for.

[@wilderulz]

Legit, the only reason I wanted to watch this video is because I really enjoy you as an entertainer. You are 100% correct, this kind of shit is not worth your mental health I'd love to see more videos from you, but only if you enjoyed making them. You are fantastically creative and talented, whatever project you pour your love into will turn out amazing. Don't settle for less than that because of the pressure to produce content.

[@_M_a_r_t_i_n_M]

Seriously. May. I fuckin appreciate that you actually subjected yourself to the literal mental trauma of watching and reading up on all of this stuff for the sole purpose of compiling this series of videos for your audience alone. I myself was stupid enough in my 33 years on this planet to have seen far more of what is on this 'iceberg' than I will ever admit to in general conversation in my life. And yeah, some of it has created scars in my mind where those images will never go away. The detail that you put into your description is knowledge that can only be obtained by actually seeing or reading direct transcriptions of said media. And it is a serious level of fucked up. I really hope that you take some time for yourself and the mental reset that you deserve after this. Your show is awesome and I don't want you sacrificing your mental health and personality for it. And yeah, 9/11. I am a bit older than you and was a pre-teen and remember it even more vividly, can relate absolutely.

[@alchemyfarie]

i honestly didnt expect you to finish the list so i super respect you for not even trying to google the last tier. I've been subbed to you for several years and whats kept me around is your genuine thoughtfulness in the way you handle these topics, and your words about kindness and love have been a huge comfort and made me tear up on more than one occasion. you deserve all the success and more in your future endeavors

[@veeodinson3271]

If you make content, I want it to be the content you are passionate about. I love your takes on movies, and I've found a lot of my favorite films through watching your videos. Social media is a hellscape and I hardcore care about your well being. This is your life and the real ones will follow your light wherever you choose to share it. Please don't stop writing. Please don't stop making music. Please continue to make the art that makes your soul feel full.

[@Kraeraenyeh]

Appreciate your approach on this tier list. Would definitely be interested in more writing content!

[@spencerw4160]

I’ve been subbed for close to 10 years now, I and many other will miss you, but I hope you have an amazing life and best of wishes to your future projects

[@CreamyandCorny]

While it is certainly not easy, ultimately we can have the last say in what we're remembered for. I discovered you from your disturbing movie iceberg but I also love Fluids so much. You do what you want to do and we are gonna be here to enjoy it. Thank you, May ❤️

[@01011010110]

for what it's worth, i watched these uploads because you attempted to present it through an educational lens, providing context and whatnot. "consider the source" is such a valuable tip for any kind of information or material you are shown, especially online and especially on social media sites where misinformation is rampant.

[@exoticfoxholebrianna]

I feel like we’re probably all on the same page as far as compromising yourself for content. It’s too much, and the last thing any of us want is for you to get burnt out and to stop making stuff. Take your time to do whatever you want cause we’re all gonna be here, whatever you decide to make 💕

[@morganalabeille5004]

All but one of the girls in the Daisy's Destruction video have since been rescued and the people who made it are in prison. The Philippines briefly considered bringing back the death penalty for the ringleader, Peter Scully. And Filipino prisons are not pleasant. Idk I just think it's somewhat comforting to know this guy got caught and those girls are safe. Not much but a bit. I hope they're recovering well.

[@sillybilly5161]

Hey May, I truly appreciate the messages you put in your videos and honestly that's why I continued watching the series. Talking about important things like depression and thinking about the existence of this media critically is something I don't see often or at all on KZbin or other creator platforms. I'm sorry you went through the process of making this iceberg video, and I hope you continue to make things that make you happy like novels or music (which is fucking awesome btw I own some of your CDs). Please know that you can also make a meaningful impact by making things that make you happy and feel good about yourself (even if it doesn't make a big impact on others as long as it is meaningful to you). This human experience is worthy of existing by just existing ya know?

[@beaprz]

miss may…..i have been watching you for years and want to let you know how much I’ve appreciated your content just for *you* in all that time. your personality is very entertaining and charming, i watch your analyses on movies and other things over and over. I hope you know how much some of us genuinely appreciate the good messages you’ve worked into these recent videos. All in all, i hope you take some time to work through the burn out. I’m in the same spot lately. Care for yourself, come back to making (fun. not things that hurt your brain for our sake) content when your life and brain allow. Sending you many wishes of happiness and light. Keep livin life and riding that bike.

[@giaj7036]

may i need to say that whatever you choose pursue i will be a supporter. i’ve loved every video released by you. not because of the of the material you’re covering but because of how insightful you are. i truly could listen to you speaking for hours. from one writer and musician to another please keep creating.

[@thescenecat]

i wont ever remember may for her covering horrible content, but for the compassions, honesty, and optimism she met it with. im glad youre making content youre passionate about now, its so much better than this

[@Freyyyaa]

I hope that you're always able to know and choose things that will make you happy instead of feeling obligated or pressured to do something you don't want to do. I'll keep watching as long as you keep uploading. I've been actively trying to reduce my true crime consumption because of the same/similar reasons, it adds nothing to my life and only seems to make me feel worse about the world.

[@WarlockEmpire]

I love you and your content May, and I really look forward to anything you create in the future. Thank you for taking care of yourself and thank you for encouraging us to do the same. I've followed your growth and content for years, and I'll continue to follow along, so thank you for taking the turn to create content that you love.

[@KP-he6hp]

I wanted to say thank you for making this series, and I'm glad you're leaving this type of content. I found your channel after falling down some sort of weird awful gore media rabbit hole over the course of months. Having you come in and point out that all these videos really boil down to the same core points, and point out that watching this stuff is bad for us actually (even just watching stuff about this stuff, which is what I've done), it was the sort of wake up call I needed. I've been in the true crime muck for years and I'm not sure what I'll replace all that content with yet, but I think it's probably best that I leave it behind. It doesn't make sense to look at the worst humanity has to offer just because I can. I'm glad you're moving on to more enjoyable things, and thank you for giving me the wake-up call that I should, too.

[@yoyososo6267]

If it's worth anything, I do think you've accomplished your original goal for me, helping unpack and process these traumatizing videos. I watched a few of them when I was a tween (nothing like the bottom most part of this iceberg thank god) and your videos forced me to actually understand these videos as what they are: exploitative garbage that traumatizes people. Actually having someone say 'the things I've seen online have traumatized me' as opposed to having it be some coy 'ohoho don't google this ;-)' is really reaffirming. I'm glad you're moving past this shit onto greener pastures, but I think your work on this NSFL shit is really valuable to me.

[@wutheringheightsmedley]

may, ur content (including ur music which BANGS btw) has helped me through the years and it sucks seeing that content like this is hurting ur mental health. im glad that you are gonna be able to branch off from this stuff to do something more fun in the future. i wish u lots of luck with whatever path u choose to go down content wise after this since im probably gonna stick around regardless. even if u start making unboxing videos or roblox lets plays ill still be supporting u. luv u hope u have a great day without having to think about this iceberg again

[@getbogged]

I always looked forward to this series purely because of your thoughts, approach, and insight that you give towards the end. Your messages about people gotta do what they love and be passionate really resonates with me and that thinking being related to the fact that horrible things happen helps my crippling death anxiety. It affects how I approach everything ever even people, but being told that passion and love is what matters more than the horrible things helps. Idk how else to describe it, and it probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s helps, though. I love your work and your music, and I hope to get myself a copy of Fluids when I can. Excited to see what else you create :)

[@Flanclanman]

I'm glad you're breaking free from this

[@Flanclanman]

It's been a long time coming

[@nokomoar]

may this video series was genuinely very helpful to me, thank you for putting in the work to make these. strangely enough I feel healed and content

[@welcome_to_the_own_zone]

I binged basically all of your videos in the last few weeks. Was ready for you to come back :)

[@agnesvandal]

May!! Your content is amazingly informative. I feel like you're not trying to cover these topics for the sake of shocking people, but rather you're trying to address different systemic issues and try to figure out why people do the horrible things they do. That being said, please put your mental health first! This content can be very taxing emotionally. Do whatever is healthiest for you!

[@thisDreamOfFlesh999]

The only "analysis" I've ever watched of this particular iceberg is yours. It's easy to guess why, for me personally: you gave me the only valuable takeaway I saw about this kind of "media"(and mentality?)I've ever found online. This is not about true crime, this is not curated; not that there ever was respect in the concept of true crime anymore since we started viewing it as "entertainment ". This, for me, was always about trying to understand why humanity is what it is, but as you wonderfully put it, humanity is not this, not just this. Whatever you decide to do going forward, you're not gonna lose a follower, personally. I don't even like words such as "follower" or "fan", but you know what I mean.

[@Shoobadawoop]

14:50 I was addicted to spice for like a year. It. Was. Horrible. Could not eat or sleep or do anything without it. Had withdrawals without it. It gave me a horrible cough for a while and probably fucked up my body in ways I don’t even realize yet. The fact that it led someone to a state of desperation and delusion that intense does not surprise me sadly. No one should ever smoke spice. I can’t believe it was ever a thing you could just buy at smoke shops.

[@Gingabread-bw6xj]

The dude who wrote the Drug Users Bible talked about using cannabinoids and he said it was one of the most traumatic experiences he had. And he’s tried basically everything. It’s interesting in that he also goes into how spice was originally very close chemically to cannabis. Then as authorities started cracking down on certain chemicals, it turned into a game of cat and mouse where spice got further and further away from its original make up along with being more dangerous. Head shops most likely didn’t even know what they were selling.

[@CRASSMAN69]

i just finished Fluids. excellent, disturbing, touching - i loved it. i can't wait for your next book!

[@lelfah]

The end, you did it, well done May, now please go and knit something and be happy 😊 You've been my fave for years and I'm grateful for every video x Love love love ❤️

[@katrinajansson5503]

may we will all love and support you no matter what passion you decide to follow. stay healthy. stay happy. you helped a lot of people in ways not imaginable.

[@michikip45]

Honestly I listened to all these iceberg videos mostly for the comments on humanity and positivity than the actual awful acts. I don’t want to look at any of them lol, but something about hearing you talk about it and giving honest opinions was refreshing. Still need to read your book but I can’t wait to ❤

[@heart4brainzz]

yeaa this finally put words to my gross vibes abt true crime content… i recently decided to not allow myself to continue with my true crime and fucked up movie interest, and i couldnt rlly find a way to explain myself. cuz i wont force myself to endure evil movies anymore, but ill adore other fucked up horror movies all the time, even make my own gross horror fiction, and i couldnt figure why my line was my line. thank u for this series, its seriously put my curiosity to rest. i dont have to see the worst of the world to love horror, to be a true fan or whatever… i can just love what i love, yknow?? i dont have to consume this shit that hurts real life humans. idk why i felt the need to comment this, i just felt it so deeply, and i couldnt tell any of my friends, cuz i dont want them watching stuff that might bring them down this pipeline because of me. im sure i didnt articulate myself well at all. anyways, thank u for ur videos, i love them dearly. i hope you know well keep watching even when ur not killing urself for art.

[@heart4brainzz]

fuck i gotta read that bookkk

[@jonathanboram7858]

I'm really glad you are going back to things you are really passionate about! I love your film analysis videos, and I'm really glad I bought your book! I want you to do what makes you happy, and I'll look forward to your future passion projects.

[@BG_NC]

I love your book, and honestly I've been waiting for the NSFL iceberg to be over. I love hearing your take on these things, but it's not what I follow you for, and I'm excited to see more of what you actually want to do

[@aaronsause6573]

Soo, im pretty sure i got you algorithmed to me cuz i recently mentioned in a text i think my thoughts were affected by true crime stuffs...I am very glad i decided to start watching your stuffs, your way of humor is fukn great, and although i could really feel how difficult this was for you, your breakdown and analyzation of all of this, was quite enlightening, poignant, and thought provoking...i will be checking out your music for sure, and hopefully your books someday! Thank you for being real about this experience for you...