The Official Podcast #12: The Great Emu War

[@theemu380]

You aren't gonna be laughing as much when we come back, Jackson.

[@daddydiddles4680]

Why do you slab being aussie on everything? Your videos, you are acting so fuckin' Aussie now and I can guarantee that you are from NSW or some shit.

[@drakashrakenburgproduction5369]

Thevaultwanderer god you are cringe

[@Experiment53.]

Sweden can aid you with seagulls and reindeers

[@gameslayer404]

well Thevaultwanderer you might of have used nukes but we only lost too civilians and no more emus and when we went on the offensive we absolutely demolished your crappy country

[@etgha]

Wait, isn't Australia that country filled with British prisoners?

[@tooeasybrah]

another good Australian story. we once had a prime minister go swimming in the ocean. he disappeared and was never seen or heard from again

[@tai-bere3500]

Dave M Abducted by a Russian submarine.

[@PsychoPanda9000]

Dave M Australian Jaws, it's like the American Jaws but with lasers

[@TerryFromAccounts]

Dave M Didn't you name a swimming pool after him?

[@Chiefkid20]

So he escaped.

[@2ShOoTer7]

He'd rather take a chance at sea than staying and govern retards that have nothing better to do than declaring war on emus.

[@NovvaNeon]

fun fact: emu's, along with ostrich's, can kill lions in the wild. another fun fact: their legs are so strong they can kill a large dog with one kick

[@lmao.3661]

Meme Machine kzbin.info/www/bejne/i5epooujrNCAgKc Make a shitpost by playing this when playing emu simulator

[@clappincheeks5584]

Well that’s how they kill lions too. With a kick.

[@carolinacoreas7716]

If emus live in Australia, how are they going to kick lions from the African continent? I guess they assumed it since ostriches and emus are related to the extinct elephant bird.

[@sirguinea3513]

@@carolinacoreas7716 The coliseum happened lol

[@sla_pdick6968]

@@carolinacoreas7716emus are here too there aren’t just in Australia

[@arpanicautomation7586]

thanks for wasting all the budget on the intro, Jackson

[@gorillahackerman]

Kaya was a good substitute for Alex, really embraced the whole "I hate everything" motif. Still, wish Alex would come back, gotta keep the original cast together

[@kleptastic7637]

MORE LIKE BORED WALK BURGERS, CAUSE THE BURGERS AREN'T HAVING FUN!

[@kleptastic7637]

HAHAHAHA

[@rayztube]

TheInternet Cat hahaha

[@Hyper_1989]

THE OFFICIAL JOKE

[@OpalSilkMoth]

TheInternet Cat I'm cringing so hard

[@chaseb5376]

TheInternet Cat "man I remember when I first made that joke" "you mean last week" *snicker snicker*

[@socrates3065]

It says 5 men in the description because this podcast includes you, the viewer, in the podcast and is designed to make you a part of the family, officially.

[@Badgerbot12]

Socrates no it's IHE, his mic is broken but he's there

[@neonjuice4610]

He legit said It was Alex with a Brocken mic

[@alexknight4403]

"Jackson, you have so many fucking corners you've formed a circle" 10/10 Completely hilarious unappreciated zinger

[@chaseb5376]

"Five close man friends" copy and pasting the description again, Charlie? This wouldn't happen if IHE was still around.

[@BunbunCourier]

He's still here, his mic was just broken the whole podcast.

[@nissan3609]

Just a Drifter yeah ok

[@atb1175]

Just a Drifter the 5th guy is the agent watching Kaya

[@SlidewaysMotion]

Just a Drifter notice me senpai

[@thrice_cube]

Have you seen any of cr1t's descriptions? They're all the same

[@gurtshop]

cool where is alex the creator of the podcast?

[@SlidewaysMotion]

FUKE Incorporated Mic is broken but he's in the call

[@thrice_cube]

Slideways Motion i always felt dunkey was a more enthusiastic charlie

[@sugocybe]

Watching "Who killed captain Alex"

[@ijakerz93]

FUKE Records his mic is broken

[@WootmansayWOOT]

WhoKilled Captain Alex's Microphone?

[@Ash-gc3bb]

WootmansayWOOT nice profile pic

[@outspan87]

I hope Charlie gets to tell the Boardwalk Burgers joke to Brendan Fraser

[@Pat0p]

And then Brendan Fraser will use that joke to revive his acting career.

[@laughercake3156]

someguy I think this podcast will be complete the moment that happens.

[@CoolioMaister]

29:03 If you're having problems with Skype, use Discord. I wanna hear Kaya's true voice.

[@SpicyAvocado]

Only one minute in and I can see you guys have perfected the Podcast formula. Flawless intro + A list of Kaya's smugglers + the greatest joke that has not been overused at all = A quintessential Podcast

[@Aquwert]

Kaya- "why couldn't you just strangle them or something?" You would get your lungs kicked in

[@sashaschuele4487]

Remember the early days of the podcast when Jackson didn't want to get Kaya assassinated and actually bleeped things out

[@annastasciafiramari8384]

"The second largest bird in the world (next to the ostrich), they are greyish-brown and flightless with very tasty meat. They're not particularly aggressive unless you mess with their eggs or hatchlings, but they have been known to kill people who do mess with them with a single kick. They appear on the Australian 50 cent coin, alongside the kangaroo. They also eat rocks." Excerpt of Emus from Tv tropes. They are fucking dangerous, mate.

[@dorphlthewise1]

Mel Gibson needs to make a war movie about the Great Emu War.

[@hxllzcxrtxz7883]

David MacDonald Co starring Brendan frasher

[@OmerAliuddin]

*Brendan Fraser. GODDAMIT!

[@spagelsmegal]

David MacDonald as an Aussie myself it will be sadder than gailipoli

[@michaelt62077]

Black Troy McClure and Mexicans

[@lyricsfromsweden]

Real shit: Never got hooked on podcasts like everyone around me. However this is highly addictive.

[@xMDawg19x]

Just pledged to your Patreon. It really isn't a lot, but it's what I can afford right now. I feel it's well worth it for the way you guys make me really happy several times a month. I'm not a crazy happy (nor crazy sad) person but I feel fantastic when I watch these. Keep at it gents.

[@XiviCore]

I didn't realize that I would ever remember learning about the Emu War in one of my classes.

[@GreatKawaiiGod]

I think the best part of the Emu war is that Australia lost because the Emu hoard didn't fear being shot at and they kept having to retreat

[@guyler483]

Where's our host Alex?

[@SlidewaysMotion]

Random Name muted

[@extrememiner9627]

There needs to be a patron page to get Alex to unite his mic.

[@kiwijames3750]

He just was a little quiet this episode.

[@unheardr0b0t69]

Jackson is Alex.

[@tajuddinahmed1755]

Random Name ll

[@GroxXx777]

The Emu War story sounds much more real and plausible than Andrew's date.

[@PrimordialDonut]

I hope you guys can get Vinny from Vinesauce on the podcast.

[@AdamChadmon]

TheAnarchicBunny then the cycle will be complete

[@becketclark9942]

or joel

[@outspan87]

they should get Chuck Tingle

[@checkurs675]

TheAnarchicBunny BUMP

[@peperonypeperony7955]

Whoa, you took the words right out of my thoughts.

[@ZChuyoyo]

38:48 Kaya said Charlie is cute, totes OTP

[@crypticraps]

Best line of the podcast "he was having such a good time on the podcast, he didn't have enough time to be offended. Thank god all the heroes in the comments section took it upon themselves to get offended on his behalf." - Kaya Orsan 2017

[@JamesSmith-vg9gc]

Emus are fast. So that was a problem. And second, of all, there were like 3 or 4 men fighting the Emus. The Emus would split up in groups when attacked. The Attackers would have to focus on one of these groups reducing the Emu casualties. Most times one or two Emus would block all the Bullets for these groups. After seeing that Hunting Emus was ineffective the operation was canceled.

[@meloncholy428]

Year late but besides all that, they're pretty tough.

[@hendrikc.5984]

I'm beginning to suspect Jackson has no clue how to cut things out of the track....

[@ZealotOnYouTube]

If I just keep smiling, no one will notice

[@oakey03]

Charlie with a gut-buster right off the bat.

[@onailime68]

I love this podcast, gives me a tummy tickle everytime

[@RattledRib]

The Official Podcast just keeps getting better and better every time,I love it.

[@saltsman3673]

*says he genuinely likes a thing* *immediately shits on it*

[@Hanfgurkenhasser]

I just love Andrew's dating stories, they're always so weird and uncomfortable and just plain stupid. Perfect. :D

[@MaztRPwn]

Something about him makes him a fat chick magnet

[@pcenero]

"Her friend was taller than me" kaya: "ooh" "200-something pounds" kaya: "oh" that small response was so funny to me.

[@swizzdizzy2693]

anyone else here play Rimworld? The Emu thing sounds like a Rimworld event lol. "A pack of manhunting Emus entered your area."

[@soloft1754]

it really does

[@PanzerPlant]

Or a Dwarf Fortress thing. “Beware the Forgotten Beast Oy-Cunt Aussiefeather! Its talons drip with poison.”

[@TysonMoonie]

I'm waiting for the day that Andrew can actually tell a good date story.

[@christianpanacopoulos]

60,000 x 10 = 600,000. Not 6 million Andrew. Your right, America does have books but they only work if you read them.

[@mateusz73]

Kaya should take Alex's channel over, it'd be more genuine

[@bradatouille]

I'm a little confused, why is Alex not listed as a host? Do you guys have beef now or what?

[@vanessamarsen7911]

Bradley there trying to take over the podcast they muted his audio in post, and ignored him the whole time. Well claiming his mic was broken.

[@technoserf_digital]

Source?

[@Riab4ik]

Where's that funky jam at the very beginning? I'm disappointed in you, official podcast...

[@laughercake3156]

It's even lower than royalty free. It comes with Windows 7.

[@itjuststartedraining]

i wanna give kaya a goddamn hug

[@benschannel9065]

Emus are scary, the walk up to you and it looks like they are going to peck your head. And then they do their weird sound that sounds like a heartbeat in their necks

[@willhobbs02]

I clean the house every Friday while listening to the official podcast, favorite thing to watch every week, keep up the great work!

[@punishedbung4902]

the patreons are called turk smugglers. this is the greatest podcast of all time.

[@GaryPwner]

I watch the entire thing, then they reupload it, but its a bit longer, so i guess i have to rewatch it!

[@maniac9046]

Ross-Lyons Films I made 3 min then he removed it

[@GaryPwner]

lol I watched and enjoyed the full thing, then i check my sub feed 30 minutes after finishing it and i just see it was uploaded 4 mins ago

[@ryanklip24]

Ross-Lyons Films how is the edited version longer than the unedited one?

[@GaryPwner]

nvm i think its just cause of the intro

[@maniac9046]

Ryan Taffe it was the intro and missing the official Turk smuggler, it seemed in edited

[@badvibesforever711]

Just make IHE a full member of the podcast already!

[@someguyuknow214]

This is one of my favorite podcasts now! Please, never stop making this gold!

[@stararthurlee]

The podcast is actually less than 30 seconds because all we need to heard is the bored walk burgers jokle

[@xMDawg19x]

That intro was immaculate.

[@MaikoGabrielKinzelEngelke]

and I was already thinking we would get Sam O`Nella from Sam O`Nella Academy here by the title

[@falsemath]

to be honest, wasn't a huge fan of the podcast before but it's growing on me as you guys get the hang of it

[@dudeman1456]

I would listen to a whole podcast of Andrew talking about his bad dates. Consistently the most hilarious thing on this show.

[@dabqu]

thank you so much I was going to be so sad if I had to go to sleep without podcast! Saved me just in time. This is my favorite thing right now like on all media

[@yidjvrixen200]

5 close men gather around? hmmm?

[@SlidewaysMotion]

Yidj Vrixen there's 5 ppl, Alex forgot to set up his Mic and was muted

[@yidjvrixen200]

wasnt that a joke though? like they said when he was first on that he has always been there since day one just had his mic muted...

[@SlidewaysMotion]

Yidj Vrixen nah, he's in the call the whole time.

[@cci6017]

"Five close man friends gather around to hate everything." Reference to Alex and his broken mic.

[@triinkett3995]

that's not nearly enough for a bukkake

[@fearofthesky7]

Its my birthday today and I'm a little bit trashed so this is a solid way to end the night.

[@SnepSnep]

Pretty sure you guys were talking about Report Of The Week, the guy who reviews junk food in a suit. If you guys could get him on the show that would be great. But not for my pants.

[@BK557SC]

Here's a quote from the great emu war "If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds it would face any army in the world... They can face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks. They are like Zulus whom even dum-dum bullets could not stop."

[@pepman423]

I was really hoping Andrew would end up taking the cat home at the end.

[@179jfkla]

Oh man MeWithoutYou has a song on the elephant titled Elephant in the Dock. Friends were pretty surprised that it was based on a true story after we listened to it.

[@dominicscreativefilms]

I want Splash TV to do an in-depth documentary on the Great Emu War.

[@cripplemaster6949]

Dominic's Creative Films you should tell that to splash tv

[@HotshotTek]

The official podcast is the best podcast of all time.... Wait was that a Kids next door intro?!

[@dankmctwist6575]

fix the description charlie, it says 5 men

[@SlidewaysMotion]

Dank McTwist u forget Alex?

[@pierro13579]

Slideways Motion He meant 5 women

[@dankmctwist6575]

Slideways Motion when your comment gets more likes

[@SlidewaysMotion]

Dank McTwist sorry

[@SlidewaysMotion]

Dank McTwist I'm not black

[@1Yooter]

I taped a picture of myself in the center and pretend to be part of the group.

[@yungdoof6763]

What a fine group of boys.

[@edor867]

listened to all of the podcasts twice, some even more. This is great

[@sethr.c1065]

It was a war of emutrition. It was a tragic war of our dark history. Not Australian history, nay, this war transcends one nation. This tragedy is a gash in the history of our world.

[@AK-lg8fj]

As a southerner I can confirm that Publix is excellent. Unfortunately the town I live in now only has Kroger.

[@dingobiff]

Imagine a mod for Earth Defense Force 4.1 that replaces all of the enemies or atleast the ants with emus...

[@cymaratechoverdragon]

Fucking hell, a podcast that actually improves in quality with the inclusion of a Patreon, most are just a fan of taking the money and running.

[@cymaratechoverdragon]

Yeah I can see the difference already, props for actually putting the money into the right places. Finally a patreon worth investing in.

[@clamclam7632]

I lose my shit every time I hear that board walk burger joke

[@ILikeCheesesticks]

I've been waiting for this for so long

[@stillnousername9796]

If you ever feel suicidal, remember that you live in a universe where we had a genuine war with emus that we lost.

[@nathanhargis5430]

Elephant hanging was in Erwin, TN. I live right beside it. My band director loved to tell us about how he lives in the town where they hung an elephant... kinda cool hearing people from a different state talk about it

[@aragonhawke]

lol kaya is a fucking psychopath but I love it I was dying through that whole rant

[@belly_nelly]

I'm happy its just yall again

[@themibskie5194]

I dont think kaya knows the strength of an emu

[@austinbrutcher9528]

these podcasts are getting better everytime i just love it!

[@SewerMatt]

It says five close man friends because Alex will always be there in spirit

[@KingOfTeKnO]

I love the production increase

[@EDFslayer]

they laugh at the emu war, but only 6 men came back from the emu war. it was one of the bloodiest wars in history

[@akumasstorytime3910]

How many men were exactly deployed like 3 million.

[@sunshinem.7741]

Wow. I like that "Kaya SlapmyAss" name, very subtle. I wonder if Mark Hatfield knows any McCoys.

[@nicholas3687]

When they just used the same description from the I hate everything episode

[@UnseenGriffin]

The suit guy you're referring to is ReportoftheWeek, and please, for the love of god, get him on the show. That would be golden.

[@AverageNeighbor]

Actually find Andrew's dating stories hilarious

[@Raiden5058]

at 47:35 when charlie said preppy means its lit fam I literally almost fell off my chair and could hardly breathe

[@Exalious]

i work at publix! I wish I could see Charlie sometimes I live in Lutz, I bag groceries. love you all and its so cool to have a big you tuber live near me!

[@Exalious]

u go to high school or college?

[@Exalious]

yeah i go to steinbrenner high school the only high schools in lutz are like steinbrenner, sickles, and gaither

[@nopedone6331]

I can't wait for the next "Andrew's Fanfiction Corner".

[@freakoffer]

Really hope you guys get MaxMoeFoe on the podcast sometime... Him and Jackson and speak australian nonsense

[@thefaggerman2351]

I've been waiting for another one of these.

[@Yankee_Doodle_Dandy]

the Banana wars! They are real

[@mateusz73]

yeah but it is like real conflicts of US fucking over latin america

[@ShaaTheTemplar]

How about the Lobster War between Brazil and France?

[@akumasstorytime3910]

@@ShaaTheTemplar did the lobsters revolt in France and Brazil.

[@julescovers]

Shoutout to Publix, moved to California from Alabama and no one believes it's a real supermarket here

[@unheardr0b0t69]

How to earn over 50 likes: 1. A comment asks "Where is Alex"/"Why is there 5 close friends..." 2. Reply: "Alex has always been there just that his mic is muted" 3. Refresh this page to see your likes rolling in.

[@BlinkLed]

Another awesome quote about how many bullets the emus could take from one of the majors in the "war," "If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds it would face any army in the world... They can face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks."

[@chocolatebutter192]

Why do so many people hate Andrew?

[@ExileRavy]

they wish they were the ones dating him

[@dramatictext]

Taking to the field on 13 November 1932, the military found a degree of success over the first two days, with approximately 40 emus killed. The third day, 15 November, proved to be far less successful, but by 2 December the guns were accounting for approximately 100 emus per week. Meredith was recalled on 10 December, and in his report he claimed 986 kills with 9,860 rounds, at a rate of exactly 10 rounds per confirmed kill. In addition, Meredith claimed 2,500 wounded birds had died as a result of the injuries that they had sustained. ~Wikipedia

[@apocryphon1752]

if you put the intro in .25 speed its horrifying

[@stephens1585]

The $50,000 top patreon tier is comedy gold.

[@AksentNethariaFilm]

new intro made me the moistest man

[@lindholmaren]

hey everyone welcome to the official kaya finally flips and kills all the brand deals podcast we are your hosts