The paradox of choice | Barry Schwartz | TED

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TED

TED

17 жыл бұрын

www.ted.com Psychologist Barry Schwartz takes aim at a central tenet of western societies: freedom of choice. In Schwartz's estimation, choice has made us not freer but more paralyzed, not happier but more dissatisfied.
TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers are invited to give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes -- including speakers such as Jill Bolte Taylor, Sir Ken Robinson, Hans Rosling, Al Gore and Arthur Benjamin. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, politics and the arts. Watch the Top 10 TEDTalks on TED.com, at
www.ted.com/index.php/talks/top10

Пікірлер: 5 200
@karawethan
@karawethan 4 жыл бұрын
When someone shows up to a TED talk in faded t-shirt, cargo shorts, and sneakers....listen to them. This is a person who is thinking far beyond petty, worldly concerns.
@Noushaazar
@Noushaazar 4 жыл бұрын
Seriously, stop judging by the dress!
@stevew8873
@stevew8873 4 жыл бұрын
It's amazing how the sheeple think someone who wears a white lab coat or pin stripe suit is some how more reliable or intelligent over someone with casual wear and scruffy hair!
@massojupiter3436
@massojupiter3436 4 жыл бұрын
@@stevew8873 It's called association. Our brains are responsible for that. I wouldn't call someone a sheep for using something that is essential to our survival. I'm guessing you wouldn't be worried if you were to see a clean man wearing a nice suit and he clearly looks like he takes care of himself, compared to someone who sags their pants and has face tattoos. Sagging of pants is associated with people from the streets who most likely don't have good intentions and face tattoos are a sign of someone who doesn't care about themselves. The same happens with knowledge. You can talk about the same thing a professional psychologist talks about but since he looks and sounds like a professional and has a piece of paper that tells people he studied, everyone will think you don't know what you are talking about and will listen to him.
@cooltownforcoolmusictown7109
@cooltownforcoolmusictown7109 4 жыл бұрын
Its not even that he’s thinking beyond “petty worldly concerns” its just thats the way he likes to dress. He presents himself to the audience as himself. This can also be done in a tailored suit or a pink leotard. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing so long as you wear it authentically.
@clairemarieabao3371
@clairemarieabao3371 4 жыл бұрын
bec its his choice to wear those simple dressing. less choice the better
@HGalea
@HGalea 4 жыл бұрын
"I wrote a whole book to try to explain this to myself."
@mrrohitjadhav470
@mrrohitjadhav470 4 жыл бұрын
Wanna share ?
@WeAreOutOfWeed13
@WeAreOutOfWeed13 4 жыл бұрын
HAAHAHA you watched the video too? that was sooo funny XxDDD
@starpleb843
@starpleb843 4 жыл бұрын
@@WeAreOutOfWeed13 are you out of weed
@studyinginthedesert7690
@studyinginthedesert7690 4 жыл бұрын
Read the comment right at the same time the guy said it. Always weird.
@abcd12342695
@abcd12342695 3 жыл бұрын
This was the most beautiful moment of the whole talk
@parkjillaaa
@parkjillaaa 2 жыл бұрын
The fact that this talk was more than 15 years ago yet his topic is still relevant in today's generation, if not even more, really means that this guy is thinking way ahead of his time.
@lukasmerten7697
@lukasmerten7697 2 жыл бұрын
So when I talk about nutrition today, I'm thinking ahead of my time, cause I'm pretty sure it's going to be still relevant in 15 years
@chickens-go-moo5079
@chickens-go-moo5079 Жыл бұрын
@@lukasmerten7697 Bruh. Obviously choice has ballooned into a bigger thing now than it was then. The fact that this problem is at the forefront while people laughed shows how forward this guys was. The funny thing is your talk about nutrition today has a really good chance of being irrelevant in 15 years because that is something known to change.
@brokenrecord3523
@brokenrecord3523 Жыл бұрын
@@chickens-go-moo5079 Dude, the idea that today is harder than yesterday is what Trump campaigned on. It simply isn't true, but he was elected president because everyone "feels" it is.
@chickens-go-moo5079
@chickens-go-moo5079 Жыл бұрын
@@brokenrecord3523I’m saying there’s a lot more choice today than there was before. Streaming services, smart phones, and pretty much everything else. Choice has obviously become bigger now than then.
@jacobnehman
@jacobnehman Жыл бұрын
Of course it's still relevant. The lure of consumerism has only grown as the world of marketing, advertising and business have capitalized on the concept.
@FirezAper46
@FirezAper46 3 жыл бұрын
14 years later, the KZbin algorithm made the decision for me.
@mathematics2234
@mathematics2234 2 жыл бұрын
Heeya
@GeneralHeadshot
@GeneralHeadshot 2 жыл бұрын
yup
@Scott-got-caught
@Scott-got-caught 2 жыл бұрын
You clicked...they didnt click for you. You alone made that choice, sir. Stop trying to by funny. Youre not.
@zender1909
@zender1909 2 жыл бұрын
Looks like it’s trying to tell us something
@anapoda2kapela
@anapoda2kapela 2 жыл бұрын
SAME BROTHER.THIS ALGORITHM 😛
@Abaygates
@Abaygates 4 жыл бұрын
"Is it a bad news, or good news". "And the answer is yes". My man was ahead of time on the meme game 👌
@tejasdeepsingh456
@tejasdeepsingh456 3 жыл бұрын
One step Ahead of the game!
@scarmsaniiaggrey1646
@scarmsaniiaggrey1646 3 жыл бұрын
Right on! Haha
@bt1867
@bt1867 3 жыл бұрын
13 Years! 😮
@BeckaMaecie
@BeckaMaecie 3 жыл бұрын
When you realize this came out 13 years ago before memes 😂
@dianemoril7612
@dianemoril7612 3 жыл бұрын
the best answer of all times is always "yes!" the first time my husband asked me if I wanted strawberry iced-cream OR vanilla iced-cream, he understood that too... he never tried to push me into a choice after that... hahaha!
@MrDavidBFoster
@MrDavidBFoster 9 жыл бұрын
He's absolutely right.. _"The secret to happiness is low expectations"_... And everybody laughs. They must not have expected much from this talk.
@MrDavidBFoster
@MrDavidBFoster 9 жыл бұрын
***** No.
@maggiemarl69
@maggiemarl69 9 жыл бұрын
The key is to be happy from little things
@Doritos0012
@Doritos0012 9 жыл бұрын
I learned to lower my expectations a few years ago. I felt that if u expect to much u will be disappointed more often.
@GCortesMtz
@GCortesMtz 9 жыл бұрын
LOL "I did not expected much from the audience" . . . which reminds me of my childhood and a lesson my mom gave me when I was mad at someone, she said - "Never expect anything from anyone; this does not mean you don't trust them; but having low expectations for others will make your life happier" She was right, but what she did not mentioned is that sometimes is also not that good to have huge expectations on yourself, that also I have found can be quite stressful or unhealthy ;)
@MrDavidBFoster
@MrDavidBFoster 7 жыл бұрын
GCortesMtz There's another twist on that. I'm the guy who, for having maintained low expectations of others my entire life, ended up doing most of their work for them. There was a time when I actually _liked_ hearing _"You're doing a fine job!!"_. Not so much anymore.
@Shlooomth
@Shlooomth Жыл бұрын
“I wrote a whole book to try to explain this to myself.” And that’s why this is one of the best most important books and Ted talks ever written.
@lanskyotieno5593
@lanskyotieno5593 Жыл бұрын
😅 How do you explain it to yourself .😹😹😹
@Shlooomth
@Shlooomth Жыл бұрын
@@lanskyotieno5593 by writing a book, obviously
@shruthirajaram1993
@shruthirajaram1993 Жыл бұрын
Exactly
@AngelTacha87
@AngelTacha87 2 жыл бұрын
His simplicity is everything..it's so soothing and his talk just feels like your dad giving you priceless advice about life in the comfort of your living room. I didn't want it to end. I'm about to start searching for 14-year old TED talks 😅
@aaryanpanwar6405
@aaryanpanwar6405 Жыл бұрын
The older the better
@platinum11110
@platinum11110 Жыл бұрын
Same
@sadiqtola
@sadiqtola 6 ай бұрын
Yeah, it's like a Dad giving his child a piece of advice.
@skyylow
@skyylow 4 жыл бұрын
"If you choose not to decide, you have still made a choice" - Neal Peart
@user-qb4id8zn3h
@user-qb4id8zn3h 3 жыл бұрын
Similar to "no comment is a comment"
@paulmerritt8593
@paulmerritt8593 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely and this man is pushing hogwash. Totalitarian right to the core. He targets young people and wears a costume in Ted Talks. This man does not dress this way normally. Look at all the Ted Talks and see what they all wear. Don't be so easily fooled. he targets you because you are young and impressionable. He is a communist and has an agenda.
@letslike15
@letslike15 3 жыл бұрын
@@paulmerritt8593 "If someone points out a problem in the perfect and ultimate system of the US he must be a communist. Because capitalism has no flaws." Typical NA thinking. Btw. he actually said no choice is even worse than having some choice. I would argue that this was part of the reason why the UDSSR collapsed.
@joeburke2323
@joeburke2323 3 жыл бұрын
skyylow Shakespeare
@mukulsharma7213
@mukulsharma7213 3 жыл бұрын
It is Bhagwad Geeta shloka....not by neal pearts
@spacemanstrikesagain
@spacemanstrikesagain 4 жыл бұрын
This was brilliant! I spend so much time finding the best option, wasting valuable minutes, then end up with insufficient time to do other stuff, then procrastinate, then become miserable.
@eddiew2325
@eddiew2325 4 жыл бұрын
No offense but I would rather waste time with you than be productive by myself. I rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself
@miguelalonsomejiaoblitas7339
@miguelalonsomejiaoblitas7339 3 жыл бұрын
Same here
@Reeenald
@Reeenald 3 жыл бұрын
Story of my life.
@-ColorMehJewish-
@-ColorMehJewish- 2 жыл бұрын
His argument is "Some choices can have bad consequences so we should impede freedom". That's not solving a problem.. b/c he's focused on people having choice (not even mentioning that some choices can have medical/dietary needs for existing) And he's making repeated arguments w/ very basic logical fallacies.. Like his appeal to authority: Blindly trusting someone like a doctor b/c they went to school and repeated the correct info.. as being more knowledgeable than people who can potentially look into their own health. Some cases the doctor might know best, some cases the patient might. This guy generically stereotypes both parties, then ignores ANY complexity to issues... just to focus on pushing his views on choice. Same situation w/ his jeans example. Just b/c he sucks at shopping, he blames the jeans. Not his crappy ability/lack of proficiency. Credentials/authority does not measure proficiency, and Mr. Schwartz is completely blind to this fact. That's not very brilliant.
@mrgd7813
@mrgd7813 2 жыл бұрын
That's me too
@djs9931
@djs9931 3 жыл бұрын
When will Ted, himself, come out to talk?
@JamieSmith-fz2mz
@JamieSmith-fz2mz 3 жыл бұрын
Shyness is a real problem.
@mauve9266
@mauve9266 3 жыл бұрын
I heard he has stage fright
@yeshwant5875
@yeshwant5875 2 жыл бұрын
This is the comment I was looking for ever since I began watching Ted talks.
@WorldWideSk8boarding
@WorldWideSk8boarding 2 жыл бұрын
“TED” is an acronym
@djs9931
@djs9931 2 жыл бұрын
@@WorldWideSk8boarding I call bullocks
@philosopherlogic
@philosopherlogic 2 жыл бұрын
Why Choice Makes People Miserable: 1. Regret and anticipated regret. 2. Opportunity costs. 3. Escalation of expectations. 4. Self-blame.
@katyash8881
@katyash8881 2 жыл бұрын
Lmao thanks for this it’s helping me on my school assignment
@DH-og5yr
@DH-og5yr 2 жыл бұрын
TLDR. Old guy scared religion is waning
@yoursubconscious
@yoursubconscious 2 жыл бұрын
Can we add social media to the list?
@DoubleOhSilver
@DoubleOhSilver 2 жыл бұрын
@@DH-og5yr You need to get out of your echo chambers and stay away from all media for a month. You sound crazy to have gotten that idea from this video. Just like another comment on this video saying he was promoting less choice to let other "smarter" people think for you - totally missing half the message of the video. You're in so deep that you can't hear what's being said, you only hear what you want to believe.
@jacksanner2021
@jacksanner2021 5 жыл бұрын
The outfit makes me feel like I’m getting a lecture from my dad
@Skyletwings
@Skyletwings 4 жыл бұрын
I have the same impression. But for me, it is rather what he says than what he wears.
@eddiew2325
@eddiew2325 4 жыл бұрын
Skyletwings hehe can I kiss u
@tiktokcurated1549
@tiktokcurated1549 3 жыл бұрын
I wish I got such smart lectures from my dad... Plot twist, he's still deciding which percentage of milk to choose and hasn't come back in 15 years.
@supercomputer0448
@supercomputer0448 3 жыл бұрын
Hmm my dad's lectures are just about how masks are used by the democrats to controle people and all the ships in the ocean a making waves that splash on the ice caps causing them to melt. And the sheer amout of ships is making the ocean rise.
@tiktokcurated1549
@tiktokcurated1549 3 жыл бұрын
@@supercomputer0448 Hahahahah
@whitehorse1959
@whitehorse1959 5 жыл бұрын
"The secret to happiness is low expectations," - must be true, since my wife still appreciates any little thing I do for her.
@patrickmarr7076
@patrickmarr7076 3 жыл бұрын
somewhere between the low expectations that lead to mediocrity and the high expectations that lead to disappointment lies a sweet spot of realistic expectations that challenge us without overwhelming us.
@imanafdar
@imanafdar 3 жыл бұрын
@@patrickmarr7076 thank you for the wisdom kind sir
@saptamiram
@saptamiram 2 жыл бұрын
@@patrickmarr7076 blowing this up as a poster for my room. Thanks!
@jackiewika6694
@jackiewika6694 2 жыл бұрын
@@ambershah5741 Yes. Expectations are premeditated resentments.Still one must have standards.
@sheilakijawani2526
@sheilakijawani2526 2 жыл бұрын
@@ambershah5741 you'll have expectations as you're a human. Do you expect surprises?
@Schokelmei
@Schokelmei 2 ай бұрын
As someone with a diagnosed depression I greatly appreciate this video. I'm really struggling with choices from the simple to the complex ones and a constant feeling of regret.
@jwh0122
@jwh0122 3 жыл бұрын
2 negative effects of too many choices: 1 8:07 it produces paralysis rather than liberation 2 9:57 we are less satisfied Reasons for the 2nd effect: 10:13 you could have made a better choice 10:46 opportunity cost 12:27 escalation of expectations 15:39 self-blame
@MariusViken
@MariusViken 4 жыл бұрын
It's 2019 and my phone still don't have a creme brulée torch..
@chrimony
@chrimony 4 жыл бұрын
And I'm not complaining that mine does too much, either.
@CloudStrifeCosplay
@CloudStrifeCosplay 4 жыл бұрын
:(
@dougraddi908
@dougraddi908 4 жыл бұрын
What?!
@Traul1983
@Traul1983 3 жыл бұрын
Samsung tried to make one but it got misunderstood.
@abc25277
@abc25277 3 жыл бұрын
Traul1983 it burnt the crème
@kylesells8579
@kylesells8579 5 жыл бұрын
"everything was better, when everything was worse"
@jessedelossantos7787
@jessedelossantos7787 4 жыл бұрын
Its called paradox😊😁😁
@eddiew2325
@eddiew2325 4 жыл бұрын
jesse delos santos I’ve waited all my life
@gabbo365
@gabbo365 3 жыл бұрын
Se stava mejo quanno se stava peggio
@andrijaarapovic5654
@andrijaarapovic5654 3 жыл бұрын
"in the past even the future was better"
@markpromise375
@markpromise375 3 жыл бұрын
@@andrijaarapovic5654 🤔
@BecomeABetterMan
@BecomeABetterMan Жыл бұрын
"The way in which we value things depends on what we compare them to" - Barry Schwartz
@ichbineinephysikerin3540
@ichbineinephysikerin3540 7 ай бұрын
Kinda reminds me of the social comparison theory, where you can feel so good about your situation if you use downward Comparison, and you can also feel too bad, in the very same situation, just if you use upward comparison.
@karenkatd
@karenkatd 2 жыл бұрын
I've never felt more impacted by the paradox of choice until I went through the college application process. I decided to apply to many schools (having no expectations to be accepted to many, if any at all). But I got my results back and I ended up with WAY more good options than I thought. Instead of being happy about my acceptances, I just feel more overwhelmed and anxious about the the fact that it's in my hands to choose one and miss out on other good choices.
@zoeiiseda246
@zoeiiseda246 Жыл бұрын
Be glad you got accepted. I didn't.
@saifalbarwani9800
@saifalbarwani9800 Жыл бұрын
@@zoeiiseda246 good luck
@farrel_ra
@farrel_ra Жыл бұрын
Show off
@farrel_ra
@farrel_ra Жыл бұрын
@@zoeiiseda246 sad
@usagiminute
@usagiminute Жыл бұрын
Amazing example!!!
@crispappletart
@crispappletart 9 жыл бұрын
I know everyone laughs when he says, "The secret to happiness is low expectations," but I've definitely found that to be true. As an ex-perfectionist, I can't tell you the relief I feel now at just being good enough or doing something well enough. Don't get me wrong - I still try to perform well, to the best of my abilities, and to challenge myself a bit; but I don't expect everything to go perfectly all the time. Once I started adapting to living this way, I discovered just what he is talking about: those little delightful surprises when something exceeded my expectations or went better than I had hoped it would. Truly, when you demand or expect less (and are content with merely being), it's like a whole other world opens up. It's such a relief.
@Joylevinstein
@Joylevinstein 5 жыл бұрын
How is this going some years later, are yiu able to keep it up? I think I need to make a similar shift in my life and am looking at different angles and experiences.
@WhiteLightning38
@WhiteLightning38 5 жыл бұрын
Ex perfectionist with impeccable punctuation
@seanpalmer1145
@seanpalmer1145 5 жыл бұрын
@ whitelightning - you've managed to be both observant and amusing. TED draws a sophisticated audience. :)
@KrzysiuNet
@KrzysiuNet 5 жыл бұрын
IMO less expectations is a kind of white flag. Let it be, never mind and so on. What I prefer is to learn how to deal with failures. I could make a living, then eat, then sleep, but I except much more. So except jobs I have, I'm working as activist - because I except the world to be much better and I know I can help. Sometimes I fail, but nevermind, that doesn't make me feel bad in the long term - because if it would, I couldn't make another attempts of making my world (i.e. mostly my region) a better place. I excepted my fiance to be with me, same with my three best friends - they aren't here anymore and of course that fucking hurts. Even with this great failure of my expectations, I have to deal with it. What can I do? Say "oh, let's just don't expect that my family that is still alive will live next day, because all these death were sudden"? That would be recipe for constant fear. "Low expectations" are claptrap. And this is frustrating when politician breaks the law and I fail with suing that person, but then I remember all the things I've saved because my expectations and it's clear to me the frustration is a small thing. I walk the street and I see saved buildings, saved forests and clean places **because my expectations were high**. And that's so rewarding. High, low, expectation, wish, failure, success... These words means something else for each of us. So, Joy, don't listen to me. Think about your definitions and make decision. That's up to you, because low expectations can save your life, but they may destroy it.
@Bubblemation
@Bubblemation 5 жыл бұрын
@@KrzysiuNet I completely agree with your point here, and I find the original poster naive and ignorant in their statement. If you get to the point that suicide seems like a good option then low expectations are a laughable suggestion. I live on only with the hope that my life will somehow get better. That's pretty fucking high expectations given my life outlook so I have to do my best with that. I have to force myself to expect that life will be worth living for me, and low expectations would only certainly land me in the grave sooner.
@sunatray
@sunatray 5 жыл бұрын
Freedom of choice is what you got. Freedom from choice is what you want - Devo
@kathypiazza4567
@kathypiazza4567 4 жыл бұрын
Sundeep this explains why our government sucks- incumbents win all to often because they have the job so voters pick them so they don’t really have to choose.
@eddiew2325
@eddiew2325 4 жыл бұрын
Kathy Piazza no offense Kathy but I rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else I rather be beside you in a storm
@Tonisuperfly
@Tonisuperfly 4 жыл бұрын
Oh boom! I love that you referenced this.
@sunatray
@sunatray 3 жыл бұрын
@@Tonisuperfly Thank you. :) First thing that came to my mind while watching this video.
@tristanmoller9498
@tristanmoller9498 2 жыл бұрын
Back when TedTalks were done by people, who actually had something valuable to say.
@farrel_ra
@farrel_ra Жыл бұрын
this!
@the_traveller6994
@the_traveller6994 Жыл бұрын
Well said.
@VishnuNambiar1
@VishnuNambiar1 2 жыл бұрын
And 14 years later we have more choices than ever.
@benforrest8590
@benforrest8590 5 жыл бұрын
Dresses in the morning expecting to tidy the yard... ends up giving a TED talk.
@junpeiiori4720
@junpeiiori4720 5 жыл бұрын
* trophy unlocked *
@gringaexpatriada9805
@gringaexpatriada9805 5 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@nizammahamood4540
@nizammahamood4540 5 жыл бұрын
He preached what he practiced. Probably wore the first things he saw in his closet.
@ZedaZ80
@ZedaZ80 4 жыл бұрын
It is probably true here, too, but if you go to a math conference, mathematicians will assure you: the sloppiest dressed presenter is going to give the best talk.
@AndyMc1952
@AndyMc1952 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly what happens to me based on too many choices. I would have dressed the same way.
@justschwab
@justschwab 5 жыл бұрын
Ranks as one of the best speeches I’ve ever heard.
@xsuploader
@xsuploader 3 жыл бұрын
hes brilliant. He gives me a real Richard Feynman vibe.
@Mehwhatevr
@Mehwhatevr 3 жыл бұрын
This is my favorite TED Talk. He describes me precisely.
@KezDPianist
@KezDPianist 3 жыл бұрын
Any other great recommendations on ted speakers? Thanks
@Mehwhatevr
@Mehwhatevr 3 жыл бұрын
@@KezDPianist I like the ones by James Veech about spam email. I like the ones by a couple of math teachers. My favorite is the one by a math teacher (like me) who has decided that teaching middle school and high school math to every student is a waste of time. That instead of forcing everyone to learn algebra (for example) we should teach courses on logic and problem solving. Very few people will actually need to use math in their lives beyond basic fractions, but everyone needs to learn how (not what) to think and problem solve. These are the ones that immediately come to my mind.
@xsuploader
@xsuploader 3 жыл бұрын
@Myth Tree what points
@jeraldbaxter3532
@jeraldbaxter3532 Жыл бұрын
The earliest situation that many people first face the "curse of too much choice" is as a child, standing in a candy shop or a toy store, being overwhelmed with all the possible choices. Some are fortunate to have a very patient parent who helps them to handle the confusion of the situation, but many have parents who are so stressed and impatient (for a plethora of reasons) that what should be a rather simple situation becomes the basis for the child's lifetime behavior. A small thing, but very telling.
@mtarik00
@mtarik00 2 ай бұрын
I totally agree with you. That's why, in my opinion, we, as adults, should first focus on being patient with our inner child and nurture in a healthy way. Then, the transition to teach critical aspects of life to another human being would become much easier.
@crystallynnbyrne5511
@crystallynnbyrne5511 Жыл бұрын
I always live by this quote and I find it pertinent with this video.'It is simply this "Expect nothing and NEVER be disappointed"or "Never expect anything from anyone or any situation and you'll never be disappointed" "'To prevent disappointment never expect anything from anyone and everything"
@roguebuddha
@roguebuddha 4 жыл бұрын
It's called "Fear of missing out". I am happy I didn't miss this one.
@TNHODA
@TNHODA 4 жыл бұрын
No what is being discribed in this video is not FOMO. FOMO is something you can have with a single choice, like: should I go to a party? For it could be the best party you ever go to. Or when checking social media AGAIN, because maybe someone just posted something. I do think I get the link that you're seeing: many options with pro's and con's where you fear missing out on the pro's, but that (for me) is different from what the paradox of choice is.
@eddiew2325
@eddiew2325 4 жыл бұрын
TNHODA hehe can I kiss you or do you have some sorta vendetta against me
@7osb
@7osb 3 жыл бұрын
@@TNHODA Whether you should go to a party is two choices
@rosiesaikaly1178
@rosiesaikaly1178 3 жыл бұрын
people who go with the flow are the happiest. wherever life takes them, they try to enjoy it instead of stressing about what to do.
@buiuh1260
@buiuh1260 2 жыл бұрын
when that flow benefits them, of course. not granted to everyone
@citizenxxxxx
@citizenxxxxx Жыл бұрын
My first thought into his talk was how the “too many choices conundrum” definitely applies to online dating. It’s like a dinner menu that changes every night at a restaurant that serves seven course meals. A lot of people on dating sites always think they can do better. Even if the person they’re talking to/dating is a connection, and checks off most/all their boxes. I did that whole thing for years after my divorce. My friends have had the same experiences. All of us just got tired of it all, and decided that if we don’t meet our person organically, than we die alone. *oh, the horror!*
@isaiahayers1550
@isaiahayers1550 Жыл бұрын
I completely take your point and I think it's all well stated but...was that sarcasm at the end about dying alone? I do believe being alone for many years is quite bad. We humans certainly can appreciate answering only to ourselves and all and having things that we like and that we chose. But, we are also social creatures who deeply need someone to share our feelings and experiences with. Perhaps some people can find enough of that with friendship or family but I would expect that for the vast majority of people, they would really benefit from a good romantic relationship. As someone who is recently divorced myself though, I can attest that relationships are also very much not easy. I hope you find someone soon, if you haven't already, or that you can find peace, joy and contentment on your own.
@mariabrown5828
@mariabrown5828 Жыл бұрын
yes i agree with you %100 no one specially the males can make a choice to stick to one profile if they have formed a connection because they have to keep looking and searching and messaging whatever profile takes their fancy in the next five minutes, its an endless array of choices that they will never get to the end off. Unfortunately i too only in the last two weeks have deleted my online dating profiles as the disappointment and frustration of starting chat conversations with men only to have them disappear the next day was more trauma than i needed, so like you if it is meant to be for me to meet someone else in my later life it will have to be in the offline world, if not i guess i will have to except the inevitable.
@kallepikku4991
@kallepikku4991 2 жыл бұрын
Back when TED talks came without X, and the speakers where actual scientists.
@indrayudhroy9415
@indrayudhroy9415 2 жыл бұрын
Yes since then a mass of X's have overriden it all
@clarkpalace
@clarkpalace 2 жыл бұрын
The X’s mean more choice! Jeezus
@kallepikku4991
@kallepikku4991 2 жыл бұрын
@@clarkpalace X means more opinions, less science.
@nietzscheanmiddleman9832
@nietzscheanmiddleman9832 2 жыл бұрын
T.E.D. stands for Technology Entertainment Design
@luisalbinati
@luisalbinati 2 жыл бұрын
"everthing was better when it was worse"
@charlie5thumbs351
@charlie5thumbs351 6 жыл бұрын
He's so right. I remember several years ago when all I had was a DVD player, I'd go down to the local library and choose a few movies that caught my eye, and that was it. But when the woman I was married to at that time purchased Netflix, I was so overwhelmed by the choices that were at my fingertips, I noticed that my pleasure diminished significantly. This was because I was always thinking to myself, damn there are so many movies on here, I want to choose the one that's really gonna wow me. It has to be perfect because there are so many others that I could be watching right now! That's just one example. The choices that are available today for everything are truly mind boggling.
@robertedwards5184
@robertedwards5184 4 жыл бұрын
I agree.
@squidproquo2241
@squidproquo2241 4 жыл бұрын
@Charlie5thumbs v _ Choice is the product of wisdom and highest level of tamed ego. If, you don't have that wisdom and well tamed ego, what you perceive as choice is the desired driven ego satisfaction tools. It is like this; If you don't have food, and you are always hungry, you will not pick food and will not be able to hate any food due to overindulgence. If, you have variety of foods easily reachable, if you can not stop overindulging yourself, you will start losing your taste and more picky. Food is a necessity. In your case, why would you choose to watch a DVD, any DVD in the first place? Watching a DVD is not even a necessity !!!
@gilberttorres8
@gilberttorres8 4 жыл бұрын
You need to work on your decision making skills.
@shugyosha7924
@shugyosha7924 2 жыл бұрын
There's so much content in every medium now that it's impossible to stay caught up on practically anything. Back in the days watching telly, I'd be following 1 maybe 2 shows at a time max and they came out once a week.
@RestTarRr
@RestTarRr 2 жыл бұрын
He isn't right at all though... Time and time again I see the same sentiment posted and it's always older people saying it. How come the new generation doesn't have an issue with choosing what to watch on netflix or doesn't feel paralyzed by having to choose from 100 jeans instead of 1 kind? Is it really that hard to realize that it's not a problem of too many choices rather than the fact that the older generation weren't exposed to this and had to adapt with the times. Those who didn't adapt are stuck in your shoes. Those who adapted are thriving and living their best life because there's undeniable benefits of choice being given to us. You are bad at making decisions because you never had to make them until one point where you were bombarded by them. It's not entirely your fault because that's just how it was back in the day but it's important to acknowledge that it indeed isn't a problem of there being "too many options" but you putting unreal expectations and stress on something as trivial as watching a movie. It's a mentality/skill that can be learned. You aren't born with good/bad decision making. The benefits of multiple choices far outweigh the negatives of it and it seems that only people who refuse to adapt are stuck with the negatives.
@rahulanand7315
@rahulanand7315 3 жыл бұрын
I can relate to this totally, I always feel paralysed when it comes to career choices.
@kulina571
@kulina571 2 жыл бұрын
Aaand that's why you're still jobless !
@rahulanand7315
@rahulanand7315 2 жыл бұрын
@@kulina571 FYI, I'm data scientist for last 3 years.
@afonsosalbrecht
@afonsosalbrecht 2 жыл бұрын
@@rahulanand7315 puffff, data scientist... you can become a data science on udemy in less than a week, that's a joke profession!
@Scott-got-caught
@Scott-got-caught 2 жыл бұрын
@@rahulanand7315 I dont understand...are you bragging...or complaining 🤣
@joec9997
@joec9997 2 жыл бұрын
@@afonsosalbrecht no need to beat on a guy just trying to defend himself
@gn1
@gn1 Жыл бұрын
Felt like he explained what's going on in my head more eloquently than I ever could.
@m3iwa419
@m3iwa419 Жыл бұрын
This!!!!
@LegendOfLefty
@LegendOfLefty 2 жыл бұрын
I am in Japan. My opinion is the same, He's right. "The secret to happiness is low expectations". Happiness is not having, but being.
@bcptbcpt
@bcptbcpt 4 жыл бұрын
I've seen interesting TED talks, fascinating TED talks and inspiring TED talks. This one changed my life.
@shashankkothari8066
@shashankkothari8066 3 жыл бұрын
How?
@yanocavalcante9362
@yanocavalcante9362 3 жыл бұрын
That TED talk really blow up my mind eventhough it's 14 years old
@ala8649
@ala8649 3 жыл бұрын
Yea how bcptbcpt?
@sportsbd8743
@sportsbd8743 2 жыл бұрын
How?
@jordiimanuel2888
@jordiimanuel2888 2 жыл бұрын
So how are you lately
@Lantanana
@Lantanana 4 жыл бұрын
yes, humans were not designed to make 5000 quality decisions each day. Life is too stressful nowadays.
@paulmerritt8593
@paulmerritt8593 3 жыл бұрын
Your life does not need to be that stressful. Stress and fear and anxiety are all tools of oppression and not the way we are made to live. he wants you to think we should leave our thinking to smarter people who are knowledgeable and who we must trust. Do you think this man dresses like this everyday? No he is targeting a young and impressionable audience. Son't be his sheople. Stress and fear are perceptions oppressors have imposed on their societies for thousands of years.
@lorenasdiscoveries
@lorenasdiscoveries 3 жыл бұрын
@@paulmerritt8593 I totally agree with you. I think those symptoms are lack of PURPOSE OF LIFE.
@theoenomelphilosopher8687
@theoenomelphilosopher8687 3 жыл бұрын
@@paulmerritt8593 his point certainly wasn't to let all your important choices be left to be made by a person in power but more like limit your choices(when its excessive that any choice would be made at all)
@formula1340
@formula1340 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/iZbQeZtmo5ZsgqM here's another talk about choices. Having a lot of choices is good but they key is being content on what you've chosen not to regret about it being inferior to other options.
@andres550
@andres550 2 жыл бұрын
@@lorenasdiscoveries you nailed it!
@MrFunnybone93
@MrFunnybone93 3 жыл бұрын
Second time watching this some years later, and after having more experiences regarding too many choices this TED talk is truer than ever for me.
@jeremiasherskovits2947
@jeremiasherskovits2947 2 жыл бұрын
Incredible how this talk aged incredibly. Life-changing ted talk.
@alexcook96
@alexcook96 6 жыл бұрын
"Comparison is the thief of joy. " -TEDdy Roosevelt
@sosalish441
@sosalish441 4 жыл бұрын
When I only had 7 tv channels there was always something on.
@anniesue4456
@anniesue4456 3 жыл бұрын
Lol spend more time figuring out what to watch
@donaldduck8474
@donaldduck8474 3 жыл бұрын
I once had just 4... that was perfect.
@TraxisOnTheLines
@TraxisOnTheLines 2 жыл бұрын
I remember when we went from cable, where I used 3 for video games, 25, 50, and 51 for kids shows, and nothing else, to satellite. Suddenly we had over 900 channels, and then I found the 7 in a row that were the same shows I used to watch (551-557 if I remember), and 300 was the movie channel that my dad watched a lot. 625 was comedy, but I only knew that because of my dad as well. 900 channels and I found a way to only need 7 choices, with a couple extra bonuses once in a while. And even of those 7, 552, 554, and 557 almost always had the best stuff and I swapped between those 3 unless all of them had nothing.
@thespektrov
@thespektrov Жыл бұрын
The way this guy can walk across a stage in a tee and shorts while giving the most riveting presentation: confidence goals.
@patrickmarr7076
@patrickmarr7076 3 жыл бұрын
this talk reminded of a line in the Eagles song DESPERADO... "it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table... but you only want the ones you can't have". The Fear Of Missing Out clearly steals more happiness than the choices could possibly provide.
@rebekahdeal3494
@rebekahdeal3494 4 жыл бұрын
Amazing that this came out about the time the first iPhone was released. Crazy to see how much time and technology has changed and we wonder why mental health issues are on the rise.
@ajsharma8869
@ajsharma8869 3 жыл бұрын
Didn't even know TED was posting 13 years ago
@ChristianStout
@ChristianStout Жыл бұрын
I come back to watch this every couple of years. It has never lost its luster.
@sunsetguy37
@sunsetguy37 2 ай бұрын
Watched this twelve years later and my investigations confirm most all of what he says. I hang out in a country that offers me less options, but with more satisfaction in the choices I make.
@36trooper
@36trooper 10 жыл бұрын
This video was okay, but I expected it would have been better. I wish I made a different choice and picked the one with the cat playing the piano. I feel depressed now. :(
@shruggzdastr8-facedclown
@shruggzdastr8-facedclown 5 жыл бұрын
36trooper: So, it looks like your only option is to go to the garage, get in your car, start the engine and let the carbon monoxide fumes put you to sleep forever. ;^}
@TheNemocharlie
@TheNemocharlie 5 жыл бұрын
Sir/Madam, I salute your comic genius!
@souravdey7174
@souravdey7174 5 жыл бұрын
You got it... You can now watch the cat playing piano.. Or sleep or play video games.. or work...😂😂😂😂
@shiitakestick
@shiitakestick 5 жыл бұрын
.. but remember the cat isnt dead or alive until you open the keyboard.
@MRU2be
@MRU2be 5 жыл бұрын
Well, I expected worse. So now I'm happy because it exceeded my expectations, but kinda sad, because I was wrong. It's really hard to live indeed.
@josephang9927
@josephang9927 10 жыл бұрын
This explains the popularity of apple's products.
@LattiMonstaaa
@LattiMonstaaa 10 жыл бұрын
funnily enough, youre probably right
@1965ace
@1965ace 10 жыл бұрын
I was going to say that.
@lowestyet
@lowestyet 6 жыл бұрын
That's what I thought as well!
@brunoborma
@brunoborma 6 жыл бұрын
Yep. And I would add, mainly because they present their products not as some types of PC, but something else, a mac. And inside mac you have not too much options. THey make you believe there is nothing to expect beyond what they produce. And they are probably right hehe
@vojta6734
@vojta6734 6 жыл бұрын
my mind is completely blown right now. It explains so much omg
@katarinabengner770
@katarinabengner770 9 ай бұрын
I’ve seen this talk quite a few times, every time it strikes me how true it is, how much this applies to my experience of life. Comforting in a way but also frustrating - what do I do with this knowledge? How can I make other people realise the same? It affects everything- from being stressed on vacation from not doing enough or experiencing enough- to being the reason why it’s so difficult to find a partner. I do agree, times were better when the were worse.
@loying1542
@loying1542 2 жыл бұрын
I'm glad that I made the decision to watch this Ted talk, I learned so much! Thank you for sharing about this that I've been pondering so much
@jamesbarlow6423
@jamesbarlow6423 Жыл бұрын
😂
@bobvella7228
@bobvella7228 8 жыл бұрын
magic number of choices is 3! bulbasaur squirtle and charmander
@user-od9pj3vq8y
@user-od9pj3vq8y 8 жыл бұрын
bob vella This is also the hardest choice a person can ever experience.
@TimesNuRoman
@TimesNuRoman 7 жыл бұрын
Always choose the charmander choice in whatever decision.
@slapbot
@slapbot 6 жыл бұрын
Bulbasaur, squirtle and charmander well that's just 3 what about the other 3 ones? you said magic number of choices is 3! right?
@boris3866
@boris3866 6 жыл бұрын
Ujjwal Gupta That's 6
@bubs1533
@bubs1533 6 жыл бұрын
Pokemon as an analogy. Plaudits.
@lisbezz4100
@lisbezz4100 3 жыл бұрын
"The secret to happiness is...low expectations." Great blend of humor & intelligent info.
@abdallaaref3718
@abdallaaref3718 2 жыл бұрын
one of the best speeches ever, thank you for sharing these amazing information.
@avilialapin2663
@avilialapin2663 Жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh this concept needs to be applied to online dating! There are hundreds of faces you scroll through and you are always thinking there might be something better on the next swipe so no one actually does the dating part always looking for something better. fewer options would revolutionize online dating. Also online dating has killed the idea of dating.
@jimbeckert7946
@jimbeckert7946 4 жыл бұрын
It is absolutely true that the key to happiness is low expectations. However, it's also very true that freedom requires that people take responsibility for their choices. I've never felt paralyzed by too many choices. I have spent more time than I wanted on certain choices. It's important to know which choices are the most critical and focus on those.
@MONICAANICA
@MONICAANICA Жыл бұрын
How many people are you....a single individual probably..... The more people ate in the equation the choices are exponential
@tomusic8887
@tomusic8887 Жыл бұрын
Congratulations, still it makes life a barren land containing hours and hours of constant choice making, wonderful 👍👍👍👍👍
@Josh-jl3sd
@Josh-jl3sd Жыл бұрын
What are the most critical ones? Who gets to tell me what are the most critical choices oh right I decided that myself which ones do I decide on? How many different critical decisions must I make to get to the end of the rat maze?
@jerrycdc8421
@jerrycdc8421 4 жыл бұрын
This explain the lower satisfaction in modern world dating. The higher expectations and higher standards with too many choices from all those dating app...we are now the product and we all look at our self as such.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 6 ай бұрын
Barry is impressive. Hes not concerned with the external. Narcissistic ideals. Thats impressive. I admire this. This definately applies to online dating which marginalizes people and reduces them to commodities. Success is over valued. And good character is undervalued.
@videosofraghav
@videosofraghav Жыл бұрын
Watching this in 2022, and the points stated in his talk is way more relatable. The damage has gone to a whole new level.
@jimmorrison5520
@jimmorrison5520 7 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. Very true, the paradox of choice. Constantly dissatisfied. Constantly looking for something greater. Constantly having the feeling of anxiety due to all other options, choices. Barry Schwartz is the man. Don't think I've ever seen anyone at TED Talk having the balls to wear shorts. Awesome.
@Wooda-qu8wj
@Wooda-qu8wj 6 жыл бұрын
Jim Morrison I
@RoxyStellar
@RoxyStellar 6 жыл бұрын
his choice
@jw5471
@jw5471 6 жыл бұрын
People want choice. I have a friend who is a butcher. He says his profit will go down if he doesnt display several large amount of different types of preparation of meat. Instead of just plain meat. Even if it means he has to throw away 20% of his products. He still profits when he gives a large amount of choice and still throws away 20%. The people just wont come to his shop. So now tell me how people feel miserable and still go back. Ofcourse you are doing to make a wrong choice. But he is taking it way to far. Most of the time people are happy with the choices they made. Are you constantly depressed for making choices? Its stupidest thing i ever heard.
@MattHanr
@MattHanr 6 жыл бұрын
jos People think they want choice because the super market has a dozen types of meat. This is just one anecdotal instance, don’t get so excited
@jw5471
@jw5471 6 жыл бұрын
Yea ok but why do we want to think that? You are not adressing the issue herz
@romanarutyunyan8709
@romanarutyunyan8709 6 жыл бұрын
"Everything is amazing and nobody's happy"
@devraga9612
@devraga9612 2 жыл бұрын
I am a doctor, and he is spot on. I provide options to patients. 2021.
@farhanrafid8584
@farhanrafid8584 3 жыл бұрын
That last part pierced my heart
@lisbezz4100
@lisbezz4100 3 жыл бұрын
"One of the effects of too many choices, paradoxically, is that it produces paralysis instead of liberation."
@ihddurmas9871
@ihddurmas9871 3 жыл бұрын
It's paralysis only if you're not educated about the options you get.. Open market is what has driven for all the choices to exist- they'll without a doubt shrink if there are no real buyers present.
@michaelstone7514
@michaelstone7514 5 жыл бұрын
Brilliant lecture!! THE grass is always greener phenomenon! !
@ampyjimenez6320
@ampyjimenez6320 2 жыл бұрын
14 years later, and its still relevant
@beatcypher3128
@beatcypher3128 2 жыл бұрын
always will be.
@MONICAANICA
@MONICAANICA Жыл бұрын
This exceptional presentation It takes away my anxiety...Learning that all that is happening now is a well known & accepted failed experiment.... Thank you for bringing relief to the commoners💕
@desertstar7664
@desertstar7664 8 жыл бұрын
In a nutshell : Excess is the root of modern day misery.
@patsybarrett9780
@patsybarrett9780 8 жыл бұрын
Iqbal Dinho me too.
@BarrySlisk
@BarrySlisk 8 жыл бұрын
+Marisa Kirisame I'm sure that is why danes are considered some of the happiest people on Earth. Because there really is no need for us to be happy. A very mediocre country.
@mycount64
@mycount64 7 жыл бұрын
+Giacomo Drago the soft mattress from a rock to sleep on can make a difference to your quality of life. having the choice between 50 mattresses of varied softness does not change your life it is a false freedom.
@gregnathan7063
@gregnathan7063 6 жыл бұрын
You look jewish buddy
@YellowJelly13
@YellowJelly13 6 жыл бұрын
"In a nutshell : Excess is the root of modern day misery." Is this how much information fits in your nutshell (brain)?
@airbournepickle
@airbournepickle 9 жыл бұрын
I found this to be quite true. The times when I've had the least money in my life, have been the most memorable times... the most satisfying (all be it frustrating at the time)... when I look back now... it's those times that I remember more fondly for some reason. Less choice perhaps, greater struggle, "a feeling of satisfaction" to make it through.
@fig7047
@fig7047 3 жыл бұрын
I've picked up similar ideas from other places. The last part about the fish bowl reminded me of an old Twilight zone episode. When Barry talked about being disappointed with our choices, I was reminded of Dr. John Becker's somewhat pessimistic (but also pragmatic) outlook on life: that life is a series of disappointments ending in a really big one! At the end of the day, we have to adapt to a changing world. If we are given more choices in our life, we have to become better at making choices. That's easier said than done, of course, but I think understanding our predicament probably does help.
@TonyVee89
@TonyVee89 2 жыл бұрын
One of the best speech I've ever heard, timeless teaching
@cwalt4483
@cwalt4483 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for explaining to me why I like the simple life.
@orlandobrown8190
@orlandobrown8190 3 жыл бұрын
I've watch this video like a dozen times. I come back to it often. This is like a meditation that I use to reset myself.
@sportsbd8743
@sportsbd8743 2 жыл бұрын
What?
@kittyonyango348
@kittyonyango348 3 жыл бұрын
Yes! I spend so much time in my head considering all my choices and regretting the ones I've made. I'm designing my house and I can't decide on what I want my drive to look like and I'm so worried that I won't get it right.
@memoiroflife28
@memoiroflife28 3 ай бұрын
This is forever gold
@clkhealth
@clkhealth 4 жыл бұрын
TED seems to have been quite a laidback event back in the day
@johnson8017
@johnson8017 4 жыл бұрын
I think it is just about ''Material desire'', when you want too much, you will end up being unhappy. People just have to learn how to be satisfied with all they have now, and be thankful for everything!
@jackovoltraids5937
@jackovoltraids5937 3 ай бұрын
This sounds like it was written in full support of philosophical debate. I enjoyed listening to it.
@xelamakidza8971
@xelamakidza8971 3 жыл бұрын
14 years ago 😭 take me back!
@salonikothari3387
@salonikothari3387 6 жыл бұрын
even after 10 years of watching it . this is eternal , and now so more obvious!
@darrenwalker3986
@darrenwalker3986 4 жыл бұрын
*Yeah,* _I'm over it, too!_ Well spoken. As I had low expectations I now find myself pleasantly surprised; _intelligent life does exist on Earth._
@JohnKooz
@JohnKooz Жыл бұрын
This was a genuinely superb presentation. I was a true student of Barry Schwartz for a little over a quarter of an hour, and I feel I have been bestowed with the invaluable outlooks and insights for increasing well-being and happiness! Thanks, Barry!
@thelovishgoyal
@thelovishgoyal 4 ай бұрын
One of the most insightful talks I ever heard.
@manikantareddy3789
@manikantareddy3789 7 жыл бұрын
Nailed It!!! We feel the same way in every choice in our life.... I would have done better. I would have taken another choice. It always happen with phones when you buy a phone with good features, but when your friend bought a better phone with better specs with less cost. You feel dissatisfied with the choice you made even though yours is a good choice!!!!
@cwoza5
@cwoza5 5 жыл бұрын
So true. I've driven myself insane in regards to what phone I should get next, or what my wife should upgrade too, etc.
@e.rivera4251
@e.rivera4251 3 жыл бұрын
" Have higher expectations if you want improvement, and lower expectations if you want contentment. " Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. ... and that is why i treat my friends like dirt....i know for a fact they;re going to fail me any given time.......
@MrShem123ist
@MrShem123ist 2 жыл бұрын
One of the best TED Talks I have watched so far…
@nevermistreatarodent
@nevermistreatarodent Жыл бұрын
Barry is on the next level, even for a professor. Just brilliant.
@radiomerel
@radiomerel 10 жыл бұрын
There was a Time when I considered Barry Schwartz's analysis so profound that it charmed me into believing he was really on to something. But time has passed since and I found out that choice does not cause depression. A person can be trained to handle choice. You can be trained to make the right choice fast. One way is to know what you actually want. Find out what you want. The rest of the meaning is in your mind and if you don't like it, make a shift in your perception.
@jameseverett4976
@jameseverett4976 Жыл бұрын
Yes, I think it's sad that our society has come to the point of wanting to withdraw permanently from their many opportunities & choices, seeing it as a problem instead of an opportunity to not only learn more about themselves but learn to make better choices, instead of seeing it only as pressure and wanting that feeling to go away, when they haven't yet experienced the lack of choice they think they want. Once they're fully into that lack of choice, the pressure they'll feel will be multiplied in ways they can't imagine yet. The grass is always greener when you haven't learned to use what power you have now.
@BrianTCarter
@BrianTCarter Жыл бұрын
@@jameseverett4976 I love this outlook James. How would you suggest learning how to make quick decisions and feel good about them?
@jameseverett4976
@jameseverett4976 Жыл бұрын
​@@BrianTCarter Quick decisions are usually not feasible on really important choices. My approach is always to wait as long as possible to make a decision, not only because my perspective changes often and consistently, but it gives time for new information or other considerations to dawn on me. Now the really bad news: you won't be able to control how you feel about decisions after you make them, especially the more permanent they are. This is kind of a repeat of my comment above, but the best understanding you can have is that EVERY. THING. has 2 opposite sides to it - a good, or advantageous side, and a negative, or disadvantageous side. Don't fall for the "it's only good" or it's only bad" evaluation, which is what this video was - trying to make too many choices seem like only a negative, when that is only 1 very limited perspective. If you understand that as you're making the decision - that no matter what you choose, it will have a negative side, then you will weigh what that negative side is, or could be, and understand that you're always trading 1 thing for another, never gaining something good and losing something bad, which is how we like to convince ourselves when we favor 1 choice over the other. Look at it only as a change in your path that will lead to DIFFERENT ups & downs, not from downs to ups. For example, a marriage will bring [eventually] distrust, jealousy, boredom, irritation, betrayal, and a feeling of losing your privacy. Yet all those aspects can bring a positive side too: trust which equates to intimacy, belonging and loyalty, excitement, pleasure, support and relief from loneliness or alienation, and the increased meaning that relationship brings. Betrayal, for example, is not really the opposite of loyalty, but an aspect of it's foundation. Betrayal must always be a possibility in order to have devotion. Any person who can devote themselves to you can just as easily betray you, AND they must be able to SEE that possibility, AND be tempted by it, otherwise it's not really devotion, or has built up any power, potency or quality. That will help you evaluate whether your partner will be able to understand this "opposites" dilemma, and make the most of the upsides, and value them enough to keep the marriage, rather than fret over the downsides and grow apart. So...the secret is always being aware that nothing is only good or only bad, and that you will never gain a state of positivity free from negative potential and intrusion. Now let's move to another level completely: forget what I just said, and let's take a deeper approach. If you make a bad decision, rather than regret it, determine to ponder it's good, or advantageous side, until you overcome any resentment of the situation. The absence of resentment, if continued long enough will transform the situation in ways you didn't expect. It's the seed of opportunity, and the reason consistent gratitude can transform your experience, to where you are the natural effect of good fortune rather than trying to reach it by making better decisions. Making better decisions won't do much for your long term situation. You can try hard to make the best decisions, but somehow everything can go in a negative direction regardless. It's more a matter of your response to whatever presents itself in the moment, than your 'formal' decisions. If you can learn to respond right in the moment [without resentment ], decisions will take care of themselves, and you'll not only make the best decisions, but make the best of what they bring, good or bad. Because you can really only live in the moment, and in the moment you really don't know much and can't see the future, or access all the information you need to make the best decisions. There are always a ton of things you can't foresee, predict, or understand regarding any choices you make - realistically, you're always too blind to know what's coming down the pipe. So approaching from the end that addresses causation - as we usually see it - is ultimately ineffective. There is something more fundamental at the root causes of our experience, and we can only address it by BEING different. No intellectual strategy will work. I'm a "master" of intellectual strategy, and it is just too limited, even at it's best, to address the complete reality of our existence and experience. Once you're convinced of that, then all those trite-sounding fairy-tale sayings like "love is the key to the Universe" make more sense...even as hard to implement as they are. In this way, it comes down to the one decision of how to respond in every moment to what is happening to you NOW. We normally think of choices/decisions in the context of plans for acting in the future, or at least the near future - how we will go about the outer details of our life, not how we will think about, or respond internally to events as they unfold, especially unplanned events. Notice that no "decisions" as such ever take into account EVERYTHING that could possibly happen in the meantime, especially the unexpected. But the unexpected will always happen, or catch up with us. It's the unexpected that ruins our plans, invalidates our choices, or makes us regret decisions - is it not? Never the expected outcome of them? So the only way to navigate the whole of reality then, is to turn to the smallest, most immediate choices, the thoughts, the internal reactions of resentment or acceptance, the reactions to the unexpected and undesired, to everything we want to reject in the process of seeking a better life or experience. OK this has probably been way too long, so I'll end off here. That's about the best I can offer. You get a pat on the back if you made it this far :)
@cyrussalahshoor3799
@cyrussalahshoor3799 4 жыл бұрын
Opens your mind about your choices in life. Don't over think. We only live once, don't waste too much time thinking about the same things every minute of your day. Sometimes its okay to settle with things and just be alive in the moment. This is coming from a person who over thinks every single day.... its a struggle but this video helped open my perspective!
@anthonywalker6168
@anthonywalker6168 Жыл бұрын
The best way to eliminate choice in consumer purchases is to always buy the cheapest or second cheapest. Manufacturers/brand owners all say they are the “best” . It’s easy to be unique, it’s easy to be the “best” but it’s hard to be the cheapest. You will win 80% of the time while saving money in the process
@tru_710
@tru_710 3 жыл бұрын
"This is so deeply embedded in the water supply that it wouldnt occur to anyone to question it" Facts.
@browniekingmuffin3590
@browniekingmuffin3590 6 жыл бұрын
"Man is condemned to be free" - Jean-Paul Sartre
@TeaParty1776
@TeaParty1776 4 жыл бұрын
“I am freeing men from...the demands of a freedom and personal independence which only a very few can bear.” -Hitler
@jesslewis5271
@jesslewis5271 5 жыл бұрын
Great talk. Life is supposed to be simple. We've complicated our world beyond our comprehension. Maybe (just maybe) that's why everyone is sad.
@jameseverett4976
@jameseverett4976 Жыл бұрын
OR they just take it for granted, and/or make bad choices and want to blame someone/something else for it. And "everyone" is not sad, but it seems everyone who IS sad thinks everyone ELSE must be sad too, and for the same reasons.
@justybee
@justybee Жыл бұрын
@@jameseverett4976 you seem fun and not mad at all
@jameseverett4976
@jameseverett4976 Жыл бұрын
@@justybee what can I say? - I'm a fun guy, and can't help it.
@BostonMarathon255
@BostonMarathon255 2 жыл бұрын
Still one of the best ted talks I've ever listened to.
@goodbyemrchips4174
@goodbyemrchips4174 2 жыл бұрын
Where have you been? Superb lecture. I feel truly oxygenated. Thank you for an uplifting video.
@maixck
@maixck 4 жыл бұрын
This is great, from 2007 he's telling us empirically what we are starting to understand now. when you're stucked with something and cant change it you like that thing better. And that change is deep in the brain.
@jamesbarlow6423
@jamesbarlow6423 Жыл бұрын
😂learn spelling
@kerplunk9434
@kerplunk9434 4 жыл бұрын
Hes actually right. In spirituality one is told to have NO expectations in order to be happy. This opens you up to seeing everything as a blessing and a miracle.
@aghorhythm
@aghorhythm Жыл бұрын
Absolutely fantastic talk !
@mikoshino
@mikoshino 3 ай бұрын
What a legend. I highly recommend his book. Enjoyed this Talk very much! Thank you
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