The Real Reason You're Stuck In The Friendzone - Dr Robert Glover

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you savages. Get access to every episode 10 hours before KZbin by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Believe Your Needs Are Important 08:40 How to Make Your Needs a Priority 18:22 Rewriting Deeply-Set Patterns 26:05 Preventing a Critical Inner Voice 35:43 Believing the Story You Tell Yourself 45:13 Men Need to Step Outside of the Cycle 55:25 Having a Puritan View of Hard Work 1:03:10 The Cause of Nice Guy Syndrome 1:09:07 What it Really Means to Be an Alpha 1:21:29 Do Women Need to Be More Receptive? 1:36:41 How to Successfully Use Online Dating 1:47:55 Dating After Breaking Up or Divorcing 1:54:40 The Downsides of a Casual Sex Culture 1:58:17 Where to Find Dr Glover

[@rahatali365]

hiiiiiiiii

[@matthewvick3982]

The best😅

[@justinava1675]

😊😊4x10 44

[@peacepeople10]

As a man I've always attracted more women minding my own business. I don't even approach women anymore. Advice I have for younger guys. Don't watch porn or look at hot women on twitch/youtube. Life changing advice

[@wojiaobill]

Nobody should ever stop watching porn

[@darint9686]

@@wojiaobill why do you believe that?

[@chiquinho_do_progresso]

​@@wojiaobill who let bro cook?

[@syressx9098]

@@wojiaobill Get him out of the kitchen

[@mrbritisher9748]

Women don't approach men though in 90% of cases so if you don't do anything as a guy won't get anything pretty simple equation, don't care how attractive a guy is he still has to make the moves most women will do is smile & make themselves available rest is up to guys, & let's be honest any woman that's making herself super available for a guy isn't the most sought after women most guys want it's 5's 6's or worse.

[@Redranddd]

I get here because the thumbnail says "stop dating your mum" I stay because of a guy that looks like the villain of 'cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2'

[@hasanygarcia2562]

😂😂😂

[@YtSu-no7bt]

lmfao

[@oxydoxxo]

Villain guy was slangin them meatballs behind the scenes

[@zingking0132]

That "villain" is the goat of men

[@TheMightyMidget]

@@zingking0132bearded like a goat too

[@mw32232]

I was a classic nice guy. People would see things in me that I fundamentally did not believe. And recently I’ve been coming out of my nice guy behavior. STOP FOCUSING on how tired you are or depressed you are. You’re USING that as an excuse to isolate, blame, whatever it may be. When you’re in public, stop assuming “I’m so awkward” and think “everything is cool”. NOTICE and USE your body language as a TOOL. So.. walk slow. Walk even slower than you think slow is. Assume that YOU can fill OTHER PEOPLES cups. STOP expecting people to fill your cup. YOU can do it. And once you’ve EXPERIENCED some of these things, you’ll realize “Wow, I can actually build on that”. Then you’re on your way. One other thing: Treat your living space like a hotel. You sleep at a hotel and get ready. Other than that, you’re out and about. You need to be out there. I know that’s scary because you feel like people will be looking at you and through you, but trust me, YOU are making that up. And because you’re putting it on yourself, you’re making it true.

[@StartledNewt]

This comment deserves more upvotes.

[@kalmkoala9243]

As a former nice guy. You gotta be direct as possible. Do not beat around the bush. Be clear with what you desire. The more clear you are, the more likely you are to attract what you're looking for. Self-fulfilling prophecies can be both positive and negative. Edit: You have to tell people what you want. If they give it to you, great. If they don't, that's also great. You just have to move on. Be direct, if they don't respond how you'd like, be respectful, and move on. It's not a bad thing to move on from someone when they cannot give what you want.

[@DD-xw6uw]

I’ve found this to be true. It filters out the people who are not compatible with yourself. Essentially dating wise, if you’re upfront and say “I want this”

[@Savvynomad225]

I want freedom from work and bills and problems. Who can I tell that to and make it be?

[@papertiger9845]

Exactly. And if they say theyre one way and act another, just tell them and break it off and move on. As a man, theyll always respect that over being their doormat

[@janosd4nuke]

​@@Savvynomad225the guy in the mirror. Then you figure out better problems that offer more lasting solutions than the wageslave rat race. Then with your actionable steps you scale up and start looking for running mates, be it a romantic or a business partner. You can never escape problems, besides life would be boring and meaningless without challenges. But you can figure out how to pivot to have better problems.

[@Savvynomad225]

@@janosd4nuke are taxes part of the “better problems” list?

[@thesoulhash]

I have loved iyanla vanzant's quote for years. "My cup runneth over. What's in the cup is for me, and what runs over I have to give to everyone else."

[@SantiagoA.Wright]

This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed]

I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back.

[@SantiagoA.Wright]

Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?

[@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed]

Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being.

[@SantiagoA.Wright]

Thanks a lot. I just did. Impressive.

[@grannyannie2948]

You may not want advice from women. But I was in your place when I was 21. There was no internet then. I wrote down why I loved him. And what was wrong, why we didn't stay together. And I kid you not within a month I met the perfect man, and we have both been happy together (except when we were sad. Happy ever after is a joke. Friends and family still die) for nearly 40 years.

[@AreteTrading]

The quote is: "How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself and in no instance bypass the discriminations of reason? - Epictetus Great podcast.

[@TheNiceGuyShow]

This man has changed so many lives and is on point. If you get triggered, it highlights what you need to work on.

[@norbucso]

A father should have done this for each child. We wouldnt need men like him to teach us if it would work naturally.

[@the_lyrical_woodsman]

We are those fathers, whether we're fathers of our own children or not. This is the generation that gets to spread the wisdom ​@@norbucso

[@adelb7897]

100% train yourself to be good at reading social cues and then you'll know how to observe the signs that a woman is interested in you. Don't give attention to women who don't value you or people in general. Actually this shouldn't just be about dating, it's about life. Obviously this doesn't mean get upset at people who show you signs that they dislike you, it just helps you to know who values you and ultimately who you want in your life.

[@FalcaoXTZ]

One my favourite guests ever, his book changed my life

[@Lynx_Mercury]

You should check out integration Nation. It's a life changer

[@unconventional_health]

calming voice

[@Stilo95]

How did his book changed your life?

[@alexheise110]

he wrote a book?

[@roc-88]

No more mr nice guy. You can listen to it on KZbin

[@albertlevins9191]

Coming straight out with it. This episode is WAY better than I was expecting. Hugely information dense. Talking about how to think. This is the kind of content that I find useful. Will be rewatching this. Probably a lot of times.

[@dianesalisbury2]

In situations where I've dated men who openly tell me from the beginning that they just want "casual" Deep down I'm always telling myself or rather hoping... that although I heard him my brain say..."but once he gets to know me maybe that will change if we are great together" "He might fall in love with me if im amazing". My head and heart ALWAYS over rides the fact that he said... "I just want casual" With this last situationship that I kept saying yes to. It carried on and off for 3 and a half years. It's was a total waste of my time and heart and I've learned a HUGE leason from it. And I own big time that I kept saying "yes" to basically alot of sex with a small friendship and nothing deeper... it left me empty. I will, WILL NOT do that to me again.

[@kimdavis5403]

Decenter men and develop self. You will bring peace and contentment into your life.

[@grannyannie2948]

Long ago I knew a man like that. He was ten years older than I, and quite wealthy. He wined and dined me. He made me feel like a princess. And then he wouldn't phone for two days. He broke my heart. It was the 80s and we believed in listening to audio tapes. I bought one called Find Your Perfect Partner. It involved writing down what you wanted in a man and the type of relationship you wanted, I wanted marriage, a house and children. I kid you not within weeks I met my perfect man. And we've been married for nearly forty years. PS. This perfect partner stuff is so childish. No matter how wonderful your partner. Friends and family will die, economic times will change, children will fight with each other, etc etc

[@polysaturated]

It also seems sort of ass-backwards to have sex first and then attempt to connect on another level. Dating is really an odd artifice.

[@Cryboutet]

Females discovering traditional rules in modern times be like-

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

I was about done with the idea of love so I did something casual with a man. I felt like I got attached but I was actually going through alot. (Being moms caregiver, her slowly dying, trying to figure out what to do with a too big run down house) and he was a distraction. Anyway he lied to me a lot and now years later he's calling me wanting me to give something real a chance and I'm so thoroughly done with men I haven't let one touch me in 3 years. I say all that to say he will likely regret treating you like you were one of many. They play with good women and then they end up with a bad woman who plays the game better than they do and they get beaten and wanna crawl back to you. Never let them

[@shakespearemonologue]

Love this guest - he comes across as so authentic- a breath of fresh air.

[@AnnaLam-y8w]

Loved what he said about starting to give to yourself - the examples of buying something for himself once he bought for someone else was great because it's a conscious pattern he set up for himself. Love that.

[@aleksamrkela831]

This might be the best guest so far! Dr. Glover doesn't play ideological favorites, and he's a very genuinely based man. :D His two books are exceptionally valuable.

[@Kevlar_soul]

His book “no more mr nice guy” changed my life. Should be required reading for any man. That and “when I say no I feel guilty” although this one is harder to get through. I reread his book every few years and get something new out of it each time.

[@Mattheus217]

About habits change: I recall reading that rather than just 21 days, there is a range: more like 21 to 200 days. It makes sense if you think about it as they are discussing habits and comfort levels and homeostasis even if you take a new action to override the Old if you’ve had the old actions a long time it could take more time with the new action to fully overwrite it. I am reading Dr. Glover’s book a second time and joined a men’s group. Like him I had family and religious pressures and conditioning to just be nice, put others ahead of you, disregard your needs and wants, etc. I am digging out, learning and growing, rising towards my best self, but it takes time, intention, new actions, mindset change, and you need a good support system. Have an awesome day and week. Take new steps to rise to greatness. 💪

[@fishinforfun3359]

The mindsets glover presents have legit changed my life. Great insight and podcast

[@emczdt]

I put down a book I just started reading, opened KZbin and saw this pop up as a recommended watch, only to hear Robert recommend the book I just put down… never heard of the book either, just from the friend that recommended it and now hearing about it here

[@wojohowitz5432]

Wow. This conversation landed somewhere between a throat punch and a hug! Mr. Williamson you are rocking the podcast world. Mr. Glover you are pushing the limits of the human condition. Thank-you both.

[@v9b23j]

When we approach women without being focused on our goal of securing a particular outcome, it's easier to build a connection with them. Even if the outcome wasn't what we hoped for, we built a connection with them and that's the joy of life.

[@matthewnorris203]

Mr. Glover has helped me in soo many ways along with Coach Corey Wayne. I’m a stronger, clearer man because of their work. Thank you!

[@mapsdot9223]

They get the Biblical maxim wrong too. It's not put yourself last, its 'love your neighbor as yourself ' if you don't love yourself, it will manifest as using other people as a surrogate for loving yourself a la the woman at the well. This ends well for no one.

[@anomie1998]

Please expand on that, I just read the story with the woman at the well but, I can't see how she used other people as a surrogate for loving herself, it didn’t seem like she cared if Jesus was there or not

[@mapsdot9223]

@@anomie1998 The woman at the well is a narrative on two levels. It's about Samaria and the woman simultaneously. Remember the Samaritans were basically a remnant of the corrupt northern half of Israel that intermarried with gentiles. They were basically defiled Israelites who, through their promiscuity attempted to appear faithfully devoted by proximity to mere idols. In the same way the woman was defiled and attempted to keep the appearance of faithfully devoted by means of men. The true love of a Christian is supposed to be Christ. People who are full of that love can love people and use things. People who have a deficit of love use people and love things (idolatry). You could say in human terms the woman at the well is a codependent when our dependency should be on Christ. For only he is the only God that will die for you. Your idols won't. Even a good man makes a bad God.

[@ameliereinhart9482]

Chasing the hot woman = approval seeking., pounding on closed doors, making her the Alpha. In this case men exploit the beauty of that woman to signal to other men their „status“. Which is the status of a approval seeking guy. I think he is spot on with the mother analogy. Choose a woman who chooses you! Go through the open door. And learn to live alone before you enter a relationship. If you can’t stand hearing your own heartbeat you can’t be in a relationship.

[@ChapsShrugged]

25:16 - I've done the thing with working out in like, 23-28 days- BUT I absolutely understand this sentiment. I've also heard "28 days to 'start' a habit... 60 days to 'form' a habit... 90 days to 'solidify' a habit...". All the results I've experienced, read, and heard point to 90 days being a definite measurement for... 'something'. It is said "you can/will hide your true self for the 1st 90 days of a relationship...". But, ultimately, the 1-3 times I've had the "21 days" timeline work for me, I give the credit to my motivation for action versus/toward the goal of the actions. Or, my initial motivation was external, but once I internalized the progress as being for myself, then I continued the activity to further results. One of my favorite quote is "The only escape a man has from his own self is to see a new self reflected in some woman's eyes." This isn't locked down to just "romance" or "women", but seeing the vision of what you must become to achieve this goal reflected by the evidence that you MAY BE that version of you- That is often fuel that "I CAN do it!" And once you accept that, to redirect the love or desire for that thing toward yourself, is the ultimate self-stoking cycle against your self's entropy. I'm grateful to have a little fuel from happening upon Chris Williamson and his guest's discussions. I am repetitively consuming this input in the hopes I can Reshape myself to become who I want to be that is also the best me. Thank you!

[@thomashotton]

I love how Dc GLover put finally the real deal with hardwork and frame it for what really is not like all pseudos entrpreneurs.

[@valentynkhaman7688]

Yes, not just blindly work hard which sounds like bash your head of the wall

[@guapepenguin]

We needed another episode with him, thanks Chris!

[@JinglesPfeff]

My guy has been married like a half dozen times and he's here to give relationship advice. Got it. I'll tune in after I get back from my financial advising meeting with a guy who lives in a cardboard box.

[@JinglesPfeff]

Yes dude 100% you are right, this guy mangled his relationships until he was 50 and then married a gal he met at a resort spa. I'll listen to him if I want tips on how to completely fuck up my life until I become a seedy old man who gals dig because of their daddy complex.

[@revkallisto]

​@@thecordialistapparently not

[@15fear18]

he's much older than you are and sharing his own experiences. he didnt fuck up his life because at the end hes exactly where he's want to be. he realized his errors too late and youre young, if you listen to what he has to tell you after living a life of 50 years, you can easily avoid all the "fuck-ups" he went through.

[@bbeaup]

So only listen and consider points of views and lessons learned by perfect people. Got it. Perfect.

[@anomie1998]

​@@15fear18“One may almost doubt if the wisest man has learned anything of absolute value by living. Practically, the old have no very important advice to give the young, their own experience has been so partial, and their lives have been such miserable failures, for private reasons, as they must believe; and it may be that they have some faith left which belies that experience, and they are only less young than they were. I have lived some thirty years on this planet, and I have yet to hear the first syllable of valuable or even earnest advice from my seniors. They have told me nothing, and probably cannot tell me anything to the purpose. Here is life, an experiment to a great extent untried by me; but it does not avail me that they have tried it. If I have any experience which I think valuable, I am sure to reflect that this my Mentors said nothing about.” - Henry David Thoreau, “Economy,” Walden

[@rhythmsteve]

This guy said something g I resonate with a lot. Going back and ruminating on previous mistakes does you no good. That’s basically my opinion on 90% of psycho therapy…. Flat out, not good for you, makes the problems worse, and inhibits moving forward.

[@smith899]

So, who are the “brothers” having sex with? 🙄 Is everyone having sex with the same woman so that when you finally grow up and get married, YOU can get a virgin? Yes, the hook-up culture is awful, but is awful for both sides, NOT just the women. It damages both men and women.

[@billusher2265]

These comments are funny because they imply all these women would remain chaste if a guy didn’t sleep around and that women see, virgin partners rather than what they actually do, avoid them.

[@carolallison9685]

​@randalldraco3822 haha what? Oh sweetie no. Actually, according to anthropologists, both men and women should sleep around when young, then settle down when older. Perhistoric humans slept around so much that none of the men knew whose child was whose. This led to everyone caring for all of the children. Thats that village. Monogamy didnt come around until agriculture became widespread. Men no longer had the village, so they were now farming and only had their own resources. This meant he had to make damn sure those kids were his because if not, no one is coming to help him. The fact is we are primates, and now im only an ecologist, so what would i know, but last time i was studying other great ape species, i didnt notice any monogamy. Now maybe im just a crackpot scientist, but im pretty sure no species of prinate is monogamous.

[@albertlevins9191]

I didn't understand a single one of these comments. Honestly. What are you people saying? Is this some kind of code?

[@Zmt2021]

@@carolallison9685 please name these “anthropologists” who claim this.

[@aforabe1197]

They may be referring to a controversial book by the name “Sex at Dawn” which makes some claims similar to what they commented: Promiscuity was the norm among early humans; as a result of men not knowing which children were theirs everyone chipped in to parent; agriculture was the beginning of the end for free-sex communes, I mean, hunter-gatherer villages. Some professors used the book in class, legitimizing it, when the authors were wholly incompetent in their research and heavily biased in their findings. Google “Sex at Dusk”, it’s a critic of the first book that details how far off it is from the truth, and how it’s just pushing an agenda.

[@timr8456]

16:51 had to pause and reflect after that one 30:36 yuuuuup. 1:10:08-1:20:24 great segment

[@huntersmith8477]

One of the OG’s of the OG’s! I appreciate your work Dr Glover!

[@the_lyrical_woodsman]

Robert Glover looks like like Jacque Fresco in a younger generation, and they're both role models to me ❤ Thank you for your healthy perspective and impact 🙏

[@nackedgrils9302]

I'll admit that the ''walking through open doors'' approach does work better because I've never taken the risk to do a cold approach, the few girls I've dated had all given me a sign that they were interested beforehand and, looking back on it, I don't really feel good about it because it made me feel like a predator choosing the easiest prey, I'd get into her just because I knew that she was into me first. Also, the girls/women that will too easily give you strong signs of interest might not be the healthiest, I've learned that at my own expense, there has to be some elegance to it.

[@Rawmel84]

It’s all about enlightened self interest ! Doesn’t mean don’t help people but that I can better help others when I take care of myself first . When the airplane ✈️ loses cabin pressure you’re supposed to put on your oxygen mask on before your child .

[@JRBrandRules]

Being detached to the world’s any fathomable form makes you insurmountably powerful man.

[@svantenordstrom]

Reading Mr. Nice Guy Done some years ago was an epiphany...and it took me to some dark places. I wasn't who I thought I was.

[@XfilerD]

Chris: "I'm now back to the dating scene, which is scary and the whole new world for me". An athletic looking Brit with 2 million subscribers that has just moved to US is trying to sound humble :D

[@stevecooper7883]

Honestly if he fails then we know society is done for 😅

[@Gaspar40]

Having lots of options is paradoxically harder than having few. If you can be with anyone then how do you choose to be with any one person in particular. Look at the dumpster fire celebrity marriages. Cheating, divorce, bitter legal battles - it’s nowhere near as cool as people think.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

Different kind of hard. He's doing well for himself and has set a certain standard for his life. I can't imagine there are too many women who can come close to matching it and being a good complement for him. Plus he's gotta worry about gold diggers and groupies. Never fun.

[@bbeaup]

@@Gaspar40disagree completely. This is only true if you’re not self reflective nor have wisdom or value systems you’re grounded in. And no surprise most fleeting celebrities are shallow and usually lack wisdom and discernment.

[@hablabamosa]

Glover's book is one of the best books on the matter. He goes beyond the superficial RP talking points.

[@Walkerxy]

I feel like self loathing is a double edge sword. It ruins a lot but it’s also the only thing that’s ever made me improve parts of myself.

[@Walkerxy]

@@brianmeen2158 well yeah, there’s a right way and wrong way. Like I’ve done both, was stuck wallowing from 4-25 before I figured out to use it to create a better man. If all your self hate makes you crumble then it’s terrible; but if you learn to use it as a motivator then it’s not as bad.

[@MASKM333]

Smart work is working on what really matters , on improving yourself everyday , even if just by 1%. Kudos to you 👏.

[@Msal19]

One of my favourite episodes from this show. No More Mr Nice Guy is a really good book from Robert

[@sadiapsychology]

Robert is fantastic !

[@Shaggytheking]

You are fantastic

[@NederlandseGeschiedenis]

I have never met my father, my mother told me that my father passed her when she was very pregnant, when I was 20, that I was never wanted, she ruined my teenage years, I have an extra 3 to 5 years I've always had to behave like a gentleman, but that didn't do anything for me

[@Morjixxo]

This is a really mature take on dating life.

[@kimchimasala]

Thank you so much Chris for bringing him back in person. His book was very helpful to me at a challenging time of my life.

[@danielalbornoz2441]

this episode was SOO freacking helpful and digestable. thank you Chris for having the Dr. Glover

[@levalas91]

Another great episode with him, thank you Chris! I find the title awkward though. It is maybe just my impression but the title makes it seem as if there would be a surplus of high quality women that lack their high quality male counterpart. This idea or notion is apparent in a lot of content these days and it puts the blame on men. So if all men would just level up, the bidirectional supply would meet the demand. Looking at my social circle and the people I know/knew from uni and work, I feel like both genders are both equally changelled to be quality partners and I wouldn't say that either side is in a nicer position then the other. Everybody likes to point at the cavedweller with cheetodust on his chest who watches porn and plays games all day. Nobody seems to admit that a neurotic, avoidant and manipulative 30yo female lawyer who is emotionally immature, has her mother do the cleaning and laundry, who has an alcoholproblem and who is deep into astrology and tarot-cards is equally undateable. "Adult-Failure-ism" has a female archetype just aswell.

[@Kate-rv6kx]

I think because Chris and most of his guests are men, they tend to give advice to men, not women. I agree that women have just as many issues, and I'd like some advice too, but it seems like the whole genre of philosophy and self-improvement podcasts is by men for men. Or maybe it's just that women's podcasts seem so extreme to me.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

@@Kate-rv6kx There are some good podcasts marketed to women but they do terrible numbers which is probably why they don't hit your feed.

[@PaigeSabedra]

What a fun guest, i enjoyed all his stories and lessons.I could listen for hours. Again, Communication is key for any relationship.

[@Kate-rv6kx]

Your insights about women's experiences were spot on. Couldn't have loved this episode more, unless you gave specific examples of modern handkerchief dropping. Spell it out. What do I need to do?

[@raphaelantoine7331]

This is a really great interview, loved every minute of it ❤️

[@randomtimessomehow]

I read his book „no more Mr nice guy“ and it’s so good!

[@cheecheneg]

Chris is back on the dating scene? Watch out for that black pill!

[@antonioreed5974]

Hey Chris, long time listener of the podcast. I just finished listening to this episode on Apple Podcasts, and I thought I’d recommend some guests who I think you’d enjoy discussing ideas with. List of potential interviewees on the podcast: Sisyphus 55, FD Signifier, Gerbert Johnson (all KZbinrs)

[@Sam-bm7gs]

Dr Glover is the best. Glad you had him in again Chris, love this episode

[@b3hemoth448]

This is the kind of video I've been looking for, this actually makes my issues make sense

[@DTreatz]

_Unwin also stated "In the past, too, the greatest energy has been displayed only by those societies which have reduced their sexual opportunity to a minimum by the adoption of absolute monogamy (para. 168). _*_In every case the women and children were reduced to the level of legal nonentities, sometimes also to the level of chattels, always to the level of mere appendages of the male estate._*_ Eventually they were freed from their disadvantages, but at the same time the sexual opportunity of the society was extended. Sexual desires could then be satisfied in a direct or perverted manner... _*_So the energy of the society decreased, and then disappeared."_*_ He points out that "No society has yet to succeeded in regulating the relations between the sexes in such a Way as to enable sexual opportunity to remain at a minimum for an extended period." - _*_and thus all societies have collapsed._* - J. D. Unwin, _Sex and Culture_ circa 1930s 💊

[@amuroray9115]

What is your solution to the men who cheat on their wives?

[@matthewnorris203]

I agree with him.

[@matthewnorris203]

@@amuroray9115You can accept that men want sexual variety and that’s simple male nature or divorce them. Do you see another option from your point of view?

[@amuroray9115]

@@matthewnorris203 then they shouldn’t get married. That way, they’re free to sleep around. Divorces are common though, so it looks like that’s already taken care of.

[@bbeaup]

@@matthewnorris203then dont commit to marriage. Drop the andrew tate shit bro. If you dont wanna be with a woman don’t be with her. If you cheat and reduce that to “men want variety” you’re acting like a child not a man.

[@CryptoClownWorldTA77]

Think about pureblood men like myself who didn't take the jab and won't date someone who did. More women took it than men because they're more liberal. I cannot compromise on this in ANY way.

[@carolallison9685]

Now this is just my observation from my own time spent out in the real world, but most men look homeless these days. Guys, you need to take care of yourself first. Shower (and yes, normal people wash their butt holes), shave, wash your clothes and wear clothes that fit you. Keep your home clean. Cook healthy meals for yourself. Most women want to care for their mans needs (dont listen to the internet, its fake), but women also want their needs met too. You cant care for another persons needs if you cant even care for your own basic needs. What im getting at is if you can't even care for yourself, how are you supposed to care for a relationship? Relationships are not 50/50. They are 100/100, but you take out the trash. If you want her 100%, youre gonna need to put out 100% too. That starts with being in the right place before seeking a partner.

[@BetterLoveMovement]

AGREED‼️💯

[@grubbyarmadillo9863]

i agree with 100/100. We should muster responsibility for ourselves first and foremost before sharing your life with someone.

[@sticks7857]

The root of the problem is that men don't want her anymore. What's there to strive for in bettering yourself as a man? To be working towards your fourth divorce like the speaker of this video? Like it or not men looking unkempt is simply a symptom of a problem women have created, and telling men to do better is doing nothing to address that problem.

[@grubbyarmadillo9863]

@@sticks7857 but at the same time, men checking out is never the solution. It's understandable why men check out, but it's never the solution. And this also affects women who aren't part of the problem as well.

[@jasonleatiota1439]

That’s absolutely correct. You definitely need to be able to take care of your own life before you want to invite someone else to Jen a part of it. But I think men were better motivated to learn all those things in previous generations, whereas as they pointed out early on, it’s way easy to just accept the built in excuse with modern day society’s obsession with punishing and/or shaming men for being men, and doing everything possible to strip them of the roles that gave them purpose and fulfillment. It takes hard work to break bad habits and establish beneficial ones. Venturing out on your own going from boyhood to manhood is extremely difficult even in a supportive and encouraging environment, but in a climate where society is doing everything it can to convince you that 1) You’re responsible for all the evil in the world, 2) everything you have is undeserved; not the result of hard work, but the consequence of a corrupt system, and 3) you’re completely unnecessary and the world would be just fine, probably better off without you. Now, it’s up to each man whether or not he’ll accept the reality being thrust upon him or manifest his own, but I can tell you for certain that plenty of guys who are perpetually stuck in that state between boyhood and manhood would have put in the work and grown up fully in prior generations. But in a world that discourages them from being a man and offers convenient alternatives to the benefits that come with putting in the hard work at a fraction of the cost, it shouldn’t be surprising that so many guys never make that leap.

[@jaredmello]

Always good to see Dr. Robert Glover!

[@hendryxtracey2708]

This was full of little quotes that would make great possible episode titles. I really enjoyed this one 👌🏽

[@robyncohen8542]

Thank you Chris, its so wonderful to listen to your deep, interesting discussions.

[@Valiantiron]

As a woman whose exes felt that I should be the one doing all the cooking, cleaning, maintaining my body so it fits their image, and among other things, not a day went by that I didn't feel like I was like a mother to them. Thought it was just me because my female peers were doing the same- it's honestly validating to know that men are noticing this pattern

[@Pikawarps]

You picked the jerks and complain they were jerks. Find the balance of nice guy and jerk.

[@adriansanchez4875]

​@@tomcoop9750 😂😂yeah that one is different than the cooking and cleaning. getting fat is unacceptable. but then again, if you want your woman to stay fit, you should look for a gym rat, can't expect an average woman to stay in shape if they don't enjoy the lifestyle

[@stevecooper7883]

​@@adriansanchez4875Couples that lift together live longer together 😅

[@JustinKieferMarine]

Yesss another one Dr Glover!! Everybody should read his book! Changed my life

[@WATEOW]

Thank you Chris! As always amazing! I love Dr. Glover ❤

[@onyerbike4713]

The Benjamin Franklin effect: when someone does a favour for you, they may end up liking you more, as the act of doing the favour can lead them to justify their positive feelings towards you. This effect is named after Benjamin Franklin, who famously used this tactic to win over a rival by asking for a favour. Although he was American so he probably asked them for a favor (no "u" 😁)

[@Bluezuel]

Love this guy

[@Braddicusfinch]

Love all his perspectives on being outcome-agnostic, and just exercising healthy openness. I've seen this in a female friend of mine, she will talk to AAAAAAAANYONE, and I was always very envious of how she did that because, talkative as I am, I'm also awkward as fuck, but I eventually realised the only way to not be envious was to exercise this approach myself. It's been a mixed bag, and I certainly haven't been as consistent as I like, but hearing this makes me wanna give it that little bit more effort

[@orenm1454]

I really loved the book and all. I also appreciate all the content he’s given for free . On the other end the guy has a PHD ofcourse that will impress women . The guy is in a transactional relationship with a much younger woman which he allowed her to sleep around & he is basically paying for everything. Once he will stop paying for everything he won’t have a wife. Not much different from passport bros mentality. Not really practicing what he preaches. Just took the shortcut. Picking up a woman from the slums when you are a “billioner” in her book is basically renting a girlfriend.

[@debbiebartolo]

A good woman should respond to a man’s needs as well as the other way around. It’s called a relationship and especially in a marriage. Women with drama stay in drama. They probably meet physical needs but not emotional needs, and wear them down. I have been married twice, one for 17 years, and then my high school boyfriend later for 23 years. They cheated in both cases and I was there for their needs, physically and emotionally. I’m still friends with my first husband who remarried someone wonderful, and is the father of my daughter. I’m in a different age bracket that a lot doesn’t apply. I don’t really have hopes of meeting someone that has the characteristics that they are looking for, as well as myself, but that’s okay. BTW, at 64 I’m still fit and attractive, especially for my age.

[@debbiebartolo]

And I don’t think I’m perfect in any way. But I have always been respectful of my husband’s interests, and issues. I find that they were more interested in themselves, than me, but not as bad in my 1st marriage.

[@eduardoquiroga9666]

Great Podcast! Terrrible ending point. It was getting so gooood, why end it thereee brother!!?? hahahaha Legends anyway

[@Aquamentii]

Read his book last month. It gives you a lot to think about.

[@corybooker5332]

I hate glover’s delivery but his message is spot on.

[@TravelGlitch]

Advice to women if you're looking for a partner, take your damn earphones out in public! It's a red light in the heads of men if they're thinking about approaching. They may have to raise their voice or just get in your line of vision which is - quoting even further from the podcast - scary, or mostly awkward. 😂

[@Jhawk_2k]

They have their headphones in so they don't have to talk to guys (presumably) like you

[@thersten]

I've got a question for you guys. I met a woman who gave me affection, time, and sex. But it took me a while to let her in my heart. I was not well mentally or financially and was atressed bc i just didn't think i was good enough for her until i overcame those things. Low self esteem. Now I'm crazy about her and she's pulled away and just wants to be friends. We still talk all the time, we still go on dates and we kiss and still fool around. I want to have a casual relationship with her but my ego and low self esteem won't let me. What could i do to become more confident and not feel jealousy when i feel some distance between us? Basically i want to be a player but bc of the way i was raised I dont have it in me at the moment. I wish i didn't have her on such a pedestal and prioritized myself and my needs instead. I dont know how to do that.

[@AcidburnxVx195]

6:28 uhhh no.. maybe in the early 2000’s but the last few school shooters have have been mixed race and a trans person.. idk if this bodes well for the ep but inaccurate broad strokes doesn’t seem like the best thing to use when your trying to preach.

[@zimzob]

There’s been three trans-identifying school shooters in recent years, Aurora CO, Moscow ID , Nashville TN

[@senpai_dolph7873]

🙄

[@lukemacon1]

He was clearly speaking in general terms. Don’t nit pick like that it’s a friggin 2h pod cast

[@TheDanielLivingston]

@@lukemacon1Exactly. It's making a mountain out of a molehill

[@8milestreet]

Thank you Master Roshi

[@scproinc]

"I was able to get it better, therefore anyone can be as lucky as I am!!"

[@SG-dg6oi]

I'm not even in the friend zone!!!

[@PeterBarber]

One of my favorites ever -- awesome chat

[@ShaunleeSalyers]

I realize this episode is geared for men, but most of it is good "human" advice for men, women, and anyone in between ... interesting to watch as a single mom raising two young men and wanting them to grow up to be great partners as well as secure men who do a bit of good in the world.

[@Nobody-bu7nb]

Big love to Chris

[@Gary-mu1bu]

Doing a great job with your interviews thanks

[@peterkovic2241]

Chris interviewed him before, and it was a fantastic episode. Is this a new interview?

[@polyticks04]

Such a great episode - thank you both for taking the time to put this out.

[@brianl1341]

Just accept that for men dating is a waste of time. Take s@x out of the so called relationship would you continue to put up with the risk, nonsense and mental gymnastics? My male friends that are in relationships reach out to me to do things all the time, rather hang with men than women save one thing. Find your peace and what makes you happy and do it. The narrative of late is trying to bring men back to the plantation of servitude. To many have just come to take a hard pass after realizing the cost is too many times the benefit.

[@dhqbrandi]

For now but as they get more serious as in having a family and more responsibilities they will likely drop off little by little

[@brianl1341]

@brianmeen2158 Dude good points. However based on my experience and that of most of my friends in the past. Getting dates, intimacy and a relationship was pretty easy to a point I had a very high turnover when purely single. However over time watching women in the workplace, outside of it and watching the situations unfold it was eye opening if not shocking at times. It was women and thier behavior that redpilled many. Guys like me may take an offer on occasion but the calculations of risk become paramount. Freedom and peace is to be cherished and if someone or something has the ability to destroy that than its not worth it. Don't assume a number of guys can't get a date or more. Maybe just maybe it is a conscious decision to not expose oneself to the risk and turmoil.

[@Burton3375]

@@brianmeen2158I see you never tried online dating that’s why men gave up…..

[@seemlesslies]

@@brianmeen2158 The problem is that good women are already taken. If you had touched online dating you would know this. The only women that are really left are the dredges. Quality women are generally taken off the market almost instantly because the sheer amount of attention they get. A women of average level attraction likely gets hit on multiple times a week in public. If shes of average level attractiveness and she isn't insane she can find herself a decent man.

[@jep3305]

M. Scott Peck Genius.

[@DANJEDI]

Wise, Insightful!! Good Show 👍

[@urmanascrewed]

I didn't make it too far into the podcast before deciding this is a weaker guest. The big problem when criticizing men's loneliness is HOW are you supposed to surround yourself with people that care about you? Like if it was so simple this wouldn't be an issue in the first place. You can't just order great friends and family off of a menu.

[@MajorWookie2]

I hope you keep watching. It’s not simple to surround yourself with solid men. It will likely involve you learning a new skill that men typically congregate around like combat sports, physical sports like CrossFit or basketball sports, weapons, tactics and training, “dude stuff.” Go to work for what you want even if it’s better relationships

[@urmanascrewed]

@@MajorWookie2 I like this explannation, thank you! I have done some of these, but not all stick or are kind of expensive to do consistently. I like playing pick up basketball and soccer, but it is usually different people there each time.

[@MajorWookie2]

@@urmanascrewed yeah. I think I really believe it’s harder for men to make/find quality friend group. It’s a mix of doing things we like, being able to be vulnerable with each other, proximity, consistency and more. I do know that men like to do things and the best male friends I’ve made have come from doing things that are hard. For me Jiujitsu was my thing. All of my male friendships are through jiujitsu but I understand that’s not for everything. There also this thing called F3 that looks cool. I hope your find your pack brother

[@DelSunflower33]

59:20 yeah poor people do hard work however they have the richest souls and most wholeheartedly living that includes family and community too. Now at 38 I do have patterns I haven’t grown out of when it comes to money however the things I miss the most and I’m consciously creating for myself are the ones of lesser material things and more connections with others, bcuz when I was poor that is what made my life so FULL

[@LoneCat2137]

Someone I'm visiting: "Do you want some water or tea?" Me, every single time: "No, thank you"

[@adelb7897]

A woman can improve her receptiveness, try to show signs of wanting a man to ask for her number, treat a man as a mentally disabled golden retriever. OR... simply just as the men out or ask the men for their number, it's that simple. But nah 'female nature' and all that crap, I think it's at least partially socialized. We should encourage more women to ask men out more explicitly.

[@txdmsk]

And we should also encourage golden retrievers to do our taxes, alas, it is in their nature not to. Like the scorpion's that stung the kind frog.

[@adelb7897]

@@txdmsk Unfortunately, that is a very poor analogy. You are essentially saying that an impossible event is equivalent to an unlikely event. Not a single golden retriever in the history of the world has been able to successfully do taxes, versus in my life alone, there's been several women who asked me out or asked for my number. I also know of other guys who've also been asked out by girls. Sure it is unlikely (happens less than 50% of the time, probably closer to 10% of the time) but it happens actually way more often than you might think. Also, I don't think being so pessimistic and defeatist is good for one's mental health.

[@HarryJoiner]

20:05 - “We like the ghetto we know.” Love that.

[@AnnaLam-y8w]

Hmm. Listening to him a little more, I suddenly realised why this man has so many failed marriages behind him.

[@Johnny-Cage]

Please elaborate

[@pamcollins2178]

I’m 30 minutes in & hes a likable fella, but I don’t know if a fella who’s been divorced twice is a viable life coach. Both divorces could be the wives’ fault, I guess? Or I guess he might be a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ coach 🤔

[@ralphfraz]

As I've gotten older I realize that although some may have valuable insight, no one has all the answers or should be viewed as a guru. Even if someone found all THEIR answers, there's little chance they will all be perfectly applicable to you

[@jamin12342]

Of course, since you are the expert on failed marriages.

[@zelice3270]

Single ? You ? 😮 that is such a beautiful coincidence and now here is my handkerchief 🎉

[@mattanderson6672]

Thank you both

[@ezequieloliveira8095]

1:01:32 1:03:01

[@Will-fr9hg]

Hard for a man to not be needy when they’ve never had a girlfriend or ANY attention from the opposite sex ever. Not speaking for myself, I’m no stud but I’ve slept with a hand full.

[@svtk5104]

watched it all, refreshing if you are ruminating :D