The Rude Waiter - River ASMR

[@mysticblade35]

The twist: you're a reviewer from the Michelin guide and River has no clue

[@donnachatterton3217]

It is a testament to your acting ability that I just want to slap your face....in between laughing.

[@hauntedmushroomsasmr7716]

You are legitimately the only person who can pull this off. Others giggle and snicker, but your cool demeanor and snarky language is absolutely perfect. The best thing is your timing and tone. Masterpiece again, River.

[@david82633]

Freds voice is also great at this, his entire channel is basically "rude English gentleman"

[@leannesmith5818]

So funny , modern faulty towers

[@coffeelover8429]

Plot twist: We are the owners undercover🤫🤫🤫

[@botanicalbrewasmr]

Coffee Lover I was thinking “under cover millionaire”!

[@aarjen3x6]

Yes.. !!.. U.C.O ALLERT ..!!

[@PussPussASMR]

And I oop👀

[@FlorianEagox]

Double Plot Twist: We the owners finish our undercover investigation and conclude that he's performed exactly as we want him to!

[@HellHell71]

"frozen fresh" I swear I can hear Gordon Ramsay screaming in the distance xD

[@fockingreat1125]

I almost want to come back to the restaurant just to spite him.

[@fockingreat1125]

@@daniosugirl078 * Unrolls sleeping bag*

[@akin6664]

@@fockingreat1125 AYO WTF CALM DOWN WE ARENT CAMPING HERE *yet*

[@pmahalan]

😂

[@LaceJellyfish]

To be honest, this is the only “rude ASMR role play” that I’ve ever enjoyed. Splendid acting River! 😄

[@julioar008]

LMAOOOO. River you’re so amazingly funny. You articulate so beautifully and it’s such a wonder combination. I was dying with laughter the entire video, fantastic work!!!

[@rwspal]

"A sparkling wine that's flat" LOL!!! This got funnier as it went on. The usual twists in your presentations. "papier de toilet" for his hands. Ha ha! I do enjoy your channel.

[@jericm151]

Me: ain't that just water the eff?

[@zengarden3165]

I needed this comedic treat this evening! Thank you River.for your above and beyond content.

[@IgnisLunae]

I am relax and offended at the same time

[@NylaVox]

After a really sad event, I come here and you make me smile~ Thanks, River.... ✨💖✨

[@edgarchones6856]

What an actor! This happens to me all the time at Burger King.

[@beyondtherealmasmr8768]

Fantastic!!! You are truly the improv master.

[@jamiemason943]

Scoff it all down? Enjoy your feast as opposed to meal? Perhaps you can find some other “joint” as opposed to establishment? Good google mooga, I’m only 3 minutes in and am in full appreciation for the C’ishness, mannerisms, word choices, facial expressions, and of YOU! I adore your other channel and am so ecstatically happy to have found this one.

[@klynne8410]

He just gets progressively ruder and then he eats the food at the end 😂😂😂

[@kianamini3418]

I salute u river. Brilliantly presented. outstanding piece of work, script included. I am still laughing

[@ytamee5952]

I've had a really long and hard week, just seeing you upload role plays makes me smile

[@DAFC1885]

Unbelievably passively aggressive 😂😂so good

[@JeNn0mic0n]

He sounded so upset during the napkin bit 🤣 *”What’s that?!”*

[@kace9075]

This is gold.

[@caroltapia1343]

Solid.

[@Ftrooper360]

I had never felt so sleepy and offended at the same time before!!! hahaah i loved it!!

[@TheTenacousD]

As much as I love you normally, my god you play this character too well

[@emilyhancock3456]

"from Iceland" I'm DYING 😂

[@themattressbuyerguide]

“It’s not a sparkling wine in the traditional sense, because it’s flat”...😂

[@Hikenights]

I'd like a *Royal with Cheese* please

[@BullofCrete]

Honestly, I don't know why I'm surprised you're doing this video. We've been getting posh boy hours roleplay since Day 1, it's about time we see how it's like for the proles.

[@magalimarshall3322]

There was a certain quality to your voice in this video that went straight to the back of my head and neck. This is just what I needed to wind down after a job interview this morning. Thank you @x

[@pariah_carey]

Why do I love you talking down to me so much? Do more like this please

[@sarahhieronymustermansen5130]

I have asked for a role play like this, thank you river, you are truly amazing 😍😍

[@melapredan6208]

"... for YOUR kind of people" 😳 I really feel offended! 🥺 "you're dining alone... WHY?" killed my lady's manner. 🤬. Its soooo good, I am dieing on the persian carpet. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@acruxaf]

Absolutely loved the acting, make more videos like these.

[@finnyboi1437]

*if I can just stop you there*

[@attilathehung3875]

Truly the best type of rude English gentleman.

[@heyguysimsleepy3955]

We love a sassy queen💕👑

[@hellhander]

I smell a collab with Fred's Voice....

[@hellhander]

@@River-A-S-M-R *begins slow clap*

[@scorchtv8269]

River should do a collab with Fred's voice asmr that would be fun

[@HellHell71]

they should do a sass battle, as one goes to the other's restaurant/barbershop

[@sagiren]

Yeeeeesssss

[@skiddyhainz]

2 hours of fred and river insulting and fitting/dressing each other

[@melissarollins1788]

I’ve never heard anything so horrid spoken so eloquently! Hahaha. I absolutely adore River. His voice just melts me into Lala land. 💤 ❤️ u River

[@CristianoRonaldo92234]

I need to be transported to a burn center after all these 3rd degree burns.

[@lissanguinan]

The rude waiter is my social anxiety's dialogue with me when I have an eczema flare up ...

[@Zaraelin]

This comment both speaks and attacks me on a real level

[@Zaraelin]

This comment both speaks and attacks me on a real level

[@1977Postal]

Unbelievable performance!! He’s an excellent actor because I want to choke his ass half way though this video!! Well done!!

[@VikingsNeverDie]

I wish you could do a collaboration with Fred - two "extremely friendly" guys.

[@GhastlyApparition]

I could really use a full hour long River describing food dishes video

[@LDR01]

"I'll just pick it up. I'm very clean." 😂😂

[@deebee69]

It’s like you knew I only had 2 dollars in my bank account.

[@Ylbris]

I felt so sorry for the poor waiter having no idea how to deal with my plebeian self 🤣

[@Robertoni7]

I’m watching this while eating porc et haricots a la francs. Lovely white pulses swirled in a tomato sauce(from a can) with preserved sausage. Very common in this part the world for children to eat..I am full grown adult.

[@snookerjam]

Haha. Thanks for the laugh. Really loved it

[@Wishywashytoo]

River you are so funny and talented.

[@CottageOnTheWriteASMR]

All of this "fancy" food sounds delicious to me. xD

[@Jim-sn7zp]

OMG!!! Relaxed and angry at the same time I’m returning with my 5 scabby kids all in shell suits and gold trainers. Good acting river

[@periwinkleblue3416]

As a waiter I am enjoying myself so f*cking much right now. Hahaha. 😝

[@matthewculver5271]

River seems like a genuinely nice guy.

[@willman9567]

This is how I talk to people that come in after clean up has started.

[@crazymommadramalife3498]

You are the only asmrtist that I like the rude videos. You're so sassy!

[@hojofan]

" I guess we'll have to feed you if that's what you want". LOL !!!!

[@omfgSHORYUKEN]

this was so funny, I don't even experience asmr but I watched it all just to laugh

[@lexieh1930]

Oh snap, heck I ❤️❤️ love this - well done River, love you 😍

[@kallum96]

Amazing how the price of the food goes up when you recite it's name in French

[@chantalholley3105]

Sad I can't like this more!! Brilliant, showing off the food was funny

[@bearlyarts6153]

I don't always understand your videos, but I always enjoy them

[@matthewculver5271]

That long name for a damn burger LOL

[@jinkies2609]

plot twist she’s a karen

[@chuckwebb7564]

Your acting is superb

[@dianeb2349]

Rude waiter but still with so much grace. I love listening to your voice. Whether you’re insulting me or not 🤪

[@tonicox4005]

Oh my goodness. When we asked for ice, I died. 😂 Thanks for poking fun at us US Americans. Golden!! ❤️

[@bhav9229]

Baked beans on toast! P-i-e! Hilarious

[@katherinethompson4500]

Cannot stop laughing 😆 😂

[@alexwhite4053]

This video is class

[@caroltapia1343]

B R I L L I A N T.

[@Anonymoose0523]

We want cocktail river!! Dont make us wait!!

[@Anonymoose0523]

@@River-A-S-M-R I am straight lol I just want to see that asmr my guy! It would be super entertaining :)

[@Anonymoose0523]

@@River-A-S-M-R okay, in that case I'll take a rum and coke. ;)

[@internetgoat4831]

This is Fred Asmr's buddy.

[@fireit]

Wait, Baga Chipz has a regular gig at the pauper? When’s it reopening?

[@TheOnlyCariadCwtch]

I've never wanted to hang around and be insulted more in my life!

[@Kurokubu]

Love these rude ASMR roleplays!

[@Thebibi8]

This takes rudeness over the known limit! Please consider doing a sequel or, if you want to change, the pauper version! Love you river ❤️

[@JeNn0mic0n]

“Yes, well, we don’t really concern ourselves with your allergies because you don’t pay enough for the privilege.” *YIKES!* I’m in love lol!

[@sharynmitch8117]

I can’t stop laughing 😂 I swear if you had said “ Cheers 🥂 Big Ears !” When you poured the wine and drank it , I would have been on the floor Bravo 👏🏻

[@JimboSlice92]

Chaud d'pain d'haricot 🤣🤣 French is the only language that can make beans on toast sound upper-class

[@Dancemom-hw2jt]

Your kind goes to the “pauper” down in the basement!😂

[@Mikkirose1]

Excellent service, you just can't get better service. I've never been berated so thoroughly. Will done, I will not be back. XD

[@possumbuddy]

Holy Moly smack him in the mouth.

[@GetAwesome2042197]

That was amazing

[@rjoy6667]

The trade man’s entrance!?!? You can catch these hands!!!!

[@JeNn0mic0n]

Keep it down while you’re in the Pauper basement, *peasant* ! 🤵‍♀️

[@cjmythrandir]

Ridiculous 😂 how I love it

[@t.m.b83]

We fry our chips eight times that's why they're eight times expensive😆😂

[@lyuc8956]

Relaxing!!!!!! 💜❤💙💛

[@pattytada9117]

Hysterical

[@jclgaming94]

Why is the pub shut River??? What kind of establishment is this ? 😂

[@MartinYFFUB]

Haha love it within 20 seconds just that would be the reaction if I walked in the ritz haha

[@meryleerobinson7937]

River, you’re a scream!!! Love you xxx haha just got to the ball de melon hahaha xxx

[@jericm151]

I lost it when he said CAN OF FANTA

[@LilySaintSin]

and mountain dew!!!

[@k3kboi665]

This hurts just right. I can imagine in western europe there might actualy be something like this but here in the east our towns second and third wealthiest men both wear track pants and wool sweaters :) both have assets worth milions and employ several hundred people each.

[@starlightbright]

I love hearing you say French words

[@AmandaLordofDarknessCh]

Sparkling wine that’s flat😂

[@hsk4960]

Hahaha BRILLIANT!

[@lucreziamorganti1097]

Great!!👏👏

[@tastymedleys]

You said frozen fresh and I got Gordon Ramsay flashbacks. You get them fresh...and you freeze them?! Oh fuck me!

[@pilotintraining2391]

Came in here to this fine establishment after a long day of work and am high as tits and this waiter instantly starts ripping my appearance apart and tries rushing me put. You sir are getting a fine tip for that strong audacity 👍

[@pookoos]

"It's not sparkling in the traditional sense, because it's flat." 😆

[@blitzkrieg4689]

did this man just steam hams me

[@dianabay971]

Hahaha! River is spectacular :D Rude talk is actually so congruent and organic with River’s beautiful and sexy appearance. Interestingly, I’ve lived in Britain for 7 years and could never get used to a pretentious British accent and arrogant manners. But with River it’s a joy, and I get satisfied rather than irritated when watching him. Also, River would be an excellent judge on a talent show like a Simon Cowell type, lol!! 😁👍💋