The Secret Power Women Have in Relationships

[@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT]

KZbin is the best. Older men sharing life wisdom is something young men need desperately!!!!

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@joostvanwijk3842]

I was thinking the same thing! This is great

[@fearson7831]

So true I’ve learned a lot from these videos and experienced it myself

[@Jonathanjackobson]

Great video. These past few months has been an eye opener for me, the one I love, the one i cherish still Left me, I lost alot of friends because of her, she often said they were bad influence on me, and she still left me, i still love her and that is what hurts the most. Love sometimes is unexplainable and cruel

[@Maryangelo-r9n]

I feel your pain, Believe me I do, i was in a similar position, he left me, but i couldnt just let him go because i knew i was the cause of it, i chose my work over him and the kids, I didnt want to loose him, so i contacted a spiritual counsellor for advice on how to get him back and to my greatest surprise it worked out, she brought him back to me, and its been over a year and half, i have never been this happy

[@Jonathanjackobson]

Thank you for this, I know i wasnt alone on this i often sit and think what i will become without her because i have no one else, I think i might just give this a try,how did you get in touch with him/her, if you do not mind me asking.

[@Maryangelo-r9n]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@Jonathanjackobson]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@keyhimself3542]

If you gave up your friends for a romantic partner, you don't deserve respect.

[@dennisgriffin3069]

I’m almost 50 and was married for 15 years, and had 2 children. The ex tried to use sex as a manipulative instrument, but I never took the bait. She actually didn’t know what to do when it didn’t work in her favor. Long story short, it uncovered many issues that she had with herself, and as of today, I’ve been happily divorced for 10 years.

[@JLM_79]

@@dennisgriffin3069 awesome brother. Sometimes the best move is not to play the game.

[@AQUARIUMFREAK123]

@@JLM_79 They made 2 movies about that... WAR GAMES and JUMANJI.. where playing the game will be the big mistake.

[@breathedeepnow1]

#MGTOW

[@papadougpapadougsadventures]

Happily Unmarred for 8 years 😂

[@doyourbest7655]

Girlfriend tried to use the “unless you do this we won’t have sex” manipulation. There is a lot of negotiation in a relationship, but when sex is used as a player chip, it’s over. I said you are right we won’t have sex, good bye, and never talked to her again.

[@timizo691]

You are absolutely the best. Everything you say is completely 100% accurate. I was with my ex for 14 years. The first year sex was incredible. Multiple times a week. Sex dropped off considerably after marriage. It then spiked back up when she wanted to try for a baby. After our son was born, sex died. It was maybe once every two months. It was entirely obligation sex. No passion or intimacy and she just wanted it over. She trained me so well I eventually stopped asking. I was tired of the rejection. It also didn’t help that she put on a lot of weight and started putting purple streaks in her hair. The only thing she wore were leggings and a tank top. She also got that ugly nose ring that all modern women seem to put in their noses. Not attractive. Thank you so much for what you do. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone.

[@NashDr]

🤣

[@malcolmhayward4431]

Sounds good she’s now your ex

[@john-griffin]

You know, when it was happening to me I assumed it was me. I assumed that everyone else in the world was living a happy, sex filled, married life and there was something I was doing wrong. I hope this video and some of the others help guys realize that this happens all the time and its not them.

[@jeffdutcher3676]

The only way you can control the relationship is to not give a fk and be ready to exit stage at a moment notice.

[@garyfrancis6193]

That’s why bad boys sre so attractive to them.

[@joelhenry4643]

This is me and I have always maintained the upper hand in the relationship and have attracted good honest partners

[@melissasmess2773]

They won't respect you if you're a pushover, keep them guessing if you love them.😂

[@NoMoreRatRaceForMe]

Watching your videos even inspired my 290 pound self to start walking. Walked 4.5 miles yesterday in a wild life preserver in Texas- Thank you for all you do

[@kahvac]

Exercise... even a little makes you feel better !

[@john-griffin]

That is awesome! Great job

[@TheAccord77]

Good for you.

[@bodhixxx1]

well done glad to hear watch Fight Club for a reminder of this crooked society.

[@ceejay9663]

Even though I've never been married and have thus obviously never been divorced, there's definitely something therapeutic about your videos. Your sharing of the conclusions you've reached after an obviously extensive thought process is intriguing, to say the least. I find myself reflecting on experiences I've had with girlfriends that "match" the situations you discuss. I think you're doing a lot of people good via your channel, so keep up the good work!

[@john-griffin]

Thanks for that feedback. I think that my experiences are universal. I am just lucky to have the ability to talk about it on video and I have two great dogs and a beautiful, peaceful setting to have the conversation. I remember being a young man and walking through the woods with my best friend talking about this kind of stuff and how therapeutic it was for me. I think I am just recreating that experience and sharing it. Thanks again.

[@ryantucker2166]

@@john-griffin The switch only works on fat, balding men with money.

[@John-i1g]

@ceejay9663 I completely agree (and have been married, and divorced). John's demeanor, and the forest setting, his distilled thoughts, it is therapeutic. One thing I specifically really appreciate it is he hits the right note - I'm not an incel, I'm not a misogynist, I still love women and so much about them, but I have a level of realism from experience. John manages that note so well - whereas so many other channels turn me off because they have turned into something more ugly that I don't identify with. I think a lot of viewers are feeling the same thing and finding John's videos are really meeting where they are at.

[@keithnetzel4210]

When they withhold sex, withhold attention and affection. If you aren’t getting what you need physically and they are using sex as a weapon… get it somewhere else and leave the relationship.

[@garyfrancis6193]

At Walmart?

[@TGP109]

''Sex as a weapon''. Most women DON'T weaponize sex, considering that she probably had sex with you for YEARS before you felt it necessary to put a ring on it. Funny how that works.

[@doomguy9049]

@@garyfrancis6193 If need be, but you'd be surprised how open so many single women are to sleeping with someone else's husband when the opportunity presents itself. It's hardly ideal, but it beats having to take matters into your own hands because your wife turned out to be selfish and frigid.

[@KJ-pu8dw]

If your woman does not desire you for sex and intimacy then not only does she not love you, she does not respect you. In fact she despises you. Leave her.

[@TGP109]

Sex isn't about respect and women aren't men. They don't equate being screwed with ''love''.

[@bobanristic8721]

@@TGP109 -one night stand is not love, but women do that all the time.What do you know about love and life?

[@melissasmess2773]

Most women only like sex until they get children. Men are in love. Women are in business.

[@allie9462]

@@TGP1091000%

[@MichaelHawthorne-t9s]

This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6-year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here...

[@DenisedonHowes]

The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.

[@MichaelHawthorne-t9s]

Incredible! Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?

[@DenisedonHowes]

dr apala omofulma is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for his ability to reunite you with your former partner.

[@MichaelHawthorne-t9s]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive

[@plasmaarmelund]

The more you understand female nature, the less you are going to get burned. Don't let external factors define your happiness in life. It's only going to lead to misery.

[@tadghsmith1457]

Watching these videos really hammers home the old saying, “men who understand women don’t get married.”

[@elonever.2.071]

And the other saying, "You can either love women or understand them, you cannot do both."

[@Dee-s6s]

I learned young, never married, no kids. You are spot on.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks!

[@crapalator]

Same @ 58. Stay single.🏁

Right there with you John. Each video resonates with me. I’m two year behind you in my divorce of after a 30 year marriage. Yell “no sh&t! That happened to me too!” consistently. Having both you kids still in your life is a huge benefit.

[@maxhung69]

@@Dee-s6s no, it's natural to marry and have children. just find a good partner. not all women are evil

[@JediDarkForce]

No cohabitation as well

[@438019]

I'm a 58 year old woman who has always liked sex, the issue in my former relationship was that our sex drives were not compatible, he didn't want to have sex with me as often as I wanted, no matter how much I initiated it. So there is also that side of the equation to bear in mind. That being said, in this very female-centric space that seems to the cultural new norm, I am absolutely horrified how so many (younger) women treat men nowadays, so if some men are not wanting to have having sex with women, I can fully understand why.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks for your input! Your voice is welcome and appreciated.

[@ronaldtapp7299]

@@438019 I was surprised that a woman was watching John and you even commented. Thank you. Share all you want.

[@Scorned405]

Men and women are very different. It’s like mixing oil and water. It’s not worth the headache of having anything to do with them

[@Mdykstra769]

Every time I see a woman that looks interesting I think to myself. Does she look like somebody I would give 95% of my belongings and all of my money to... Again?

[@mrwillwgp]

Wish these kinds of videos existed when I was little. How naive and dumb I was. I couldn't turn that switch off, and my intentions were not fleeting. It's ok. Life is a learning process. We are animals.

[@elonever.2.071]

We were programmed to be that way. You, I and the other men who have gone through this have a duty and opportunity to warn the younger generations of men of the devas tation of marriage. We need to teach them to understand women not love them.

[@COSkywatch]

I was married 26 years and we always let Saturday be our day for lovemaking even tho there were times it was more than that but I think being fun with experimentation and also being in love helps. I miss her something awful.

[@breathedeepnow1]

What happened?

[@COSkywatch]

@@breathedeepnow1 Heart attack. Sucks

[@jorgealicea2088]

Well. This was a problem when i was under 25 years old. I developed discipline when it came to intimacy. I had to when i realized that my wife tried to weaponize intimacy. I wouldn't tolerate it. I told her straighten up or she will be responsible for her own consequences of manipulation attempt. When she refused, i adjusted and found a replacement because my health is important. I studied and realized that 95% of women are dysfunctional when it comes to intimacy. Sad but true and men need to accept it. Most Men are not the problem.

[@john-griffin]

Very true

[@kw7796]

Very true. I grew up w/ 5 sister and have always been able to easily meet women. Now that I have passed 50, I realized they really are all dysfunctional. I have a few female friends but otherwise...I don't make any effort to get into relationships. Too much work & drama.

[@garyfrancis6193]

@@kw7796No comedy?

[@Katarzyna-h2z]

95% men don't know nothing about women's body and real feelings, you prefer change body then learn.

[@michaeldeangelo5599]

“Pimp and the prostitute”…classic! Cracked me up 👍

[@john-griffin]

I just popped into my head in that moment. It cracked me up. I don’t know where it came from. Thanks.

[@jaimelopez3101]

We all pay for it. Some pay less, some more. Never free.

[@36handy]

Any normal man with normal levels of testosterone… for sure.

[@zodglubby]

Some get a discount

[@jabba0975]

T-rash don't pay. Saying "We all pay for it" is cope. If you don't want to pay, be T-rash.

[@TGP109]

It isn't ''free'' for women either.

[@jabba0975]

T-rash don't pay.

[@melissasmess2773]

Men never know women initially, they only meet their representative, they find out who they married after the divorce.

[@elonever.2.071]

I thought I knew mine but realized how wrong I was when she divorced me after 32 yrs of marriage. The statistics say that is a "successful" marriage by all standards. So it seems a successful marriage is only gaged by the ability of a woman to rear her children to adulthood. Other than provisioning a man has no part in it.

[@929cbr_rr]

"the pimp and the prostitute, all in one" !!!! Well said.

[@john-griffin]

That cracked me up too. Some of those things just hit me right in the moment and it’s just so funny. I don’t know where it comes from.

[@ttocselbag5054]

Way back when, as a young teenage buck, I don’t think I even had a switch or breaker brother John. Felt like I was direct-wired with 8 gauge cable, and even then, half the insulation was melted off!! 😆

[@john-griffin]

I know exactly what you're saying. I was the same. Not much discretion when making decision about who to do it with either. Thanks

[@mikejames9642]

A man can stay with a woman that he no longer is passionate about but he accepts his commitment. Once a woman loses her passion for you, she is totally turned off by you.

[@Late60sFan]

.. or you become permanently in the "friend" zone.

[@Sir_Viver]

And then she disavows any and all previous commitments that are not in her favor.

[@john-griffin]

Exactly

[@elonever.2.071]

A woman's only passions are resources and status.

[@MrBBaron]

As an old divorced boomer, i can state that marriage is a losing game for men . We have been put through the ringer. Young men don't get married. You may loose everything if she decides she's bored ,becomes unhinged, or is unhappy with you. I have experienced that, and it's horrible. You can have relationships but never get the state involved in your life as it will be a huge mistake .Stay free as a bird. Don't get locked in the marriage birdcage.

[@john-griffin]

I agree with you completely there

[@JediDarkForce]

@@MrBBaron "she can change her mind and change your world "

[@TGP109]

Women work nowadays too and 40% of American wives earn more than their husbands.

[@JediDarkForce]

@@TGP109 but their working hours drop significantly after the child birth etc is the husband must increase his hrs to compensate the decrease in the house' revenue

[@doomguy9049]

​@@TGP109 Assuming that's true it doesn't seem to have made women better as wives or mothers so it hardly matters in this context

[@SuperDurv]

😥 as a 49 year old, its a hard realization that I may not find anyone who actually loves me. Today I am also able to go about my day to day, but I do worry about as I get older...these days, without friends or family, no kids, nothing at all-working remotely. I make 200K but still do Uber deliveries on Saturdays on my bicycle to get out and have a human interaction... I just don't have it ibn me to go on a dating site or try to meet anyone.

[@Kimonha]

@@SuperDurv dang! Go to Asia. You’ll be a rock star.

[@WTHenry2023]

@SuperDurv the sad reality is that woe men don't love men. Put another way: "Men love idealistically and woe men love opportunistically.". If you lose the ability to provide, they lose their ability to "love" and quickly move on. If you are looking for female companionship, as @Kimonha said, consider the less developed Asian countries such as Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia and Malaysia.

[@john-griffin]

I think if you go to Asia, and you meet some nice girls, enjoy them in the moment. Don’t worry about falling in love with them. Like them, have fun with them, enjoy time with them and have lots and lots of sex with them.

[@Kimonha]

@@john-griffin or learn Spanish and date beautiful Argentine or Colombian women

[@WTHenry2023]

@@Kimonha Columbia has some of the most beautiful woe men in the world imo BUT woe men are woe men whether in the US or Columbia. In addition, Columbia has become dangerous recently for passport bros. Argentina is probably a safer bet.

[@getx1265]

73 and experienced all that you've talked about today. Married twice, second time to much younger hottie. Been single for over 12 years now. EVERYTHING I heard you say is truth. Honestly and unfortunately, I don't know if I could have heard, processed, and acted intelligently on your word as a younger guy who was too stupid to have much wisdom. I love your videos and hope someone younger can have enough sense to benefit from them!! Thanks John.

[@36handy]

Even at 73, we can still learn or at least remind ourselves of the potholes up ahead.

[@getx1265]

@@36handy Yup. That’s why I watch and listen! I’m a learner.

[@36handy]

@@getx1265 - 59 … still learning. Cheers. DD

[@jonb8633]

married for 20 yrs or so, 2 kids. Wife passed away, I am stuck at 52 with no partner in a big mess in the dating arena. I am learning the ropes of living alone now.

[@josephschuster1494]

Similar life situation here…My advice is to STAY SINGLE! Finish raising/educating your children, then begin your single life to enjoy the joys and freedom it has to offer…I did. 😊

[@jonb8633]

@@josephschuster1494 thanks!. It is hard sometimes but I love independence. I am just dating casually.

[@marcK599.]

Go to Thailand, you will thank me later

[@thomasauslander3757]

@@marcK599. ที่รัก

[@dbanks1277]

STAY SINGLE! Go for that curious sex! Married 25 years. I get some when she is in the mood. Couple times a month. If I'm in the mood tough cookie. Be nice to them in and out of bed. Doesn't matter. They're always busy making other plans.

[@BlakesPipes]

i believe the same thing that Aaron Clarey states, women just are not into men. its like a child, they love one food this month and in a day, they fall out of love with that food. and they do not return back to the food when they get bored. just me.

[@bobanristic8721]

make sense.If she is pretty ,she has many choices like a child in chocholate factory.

[@john-griffin]

That’s very insightful

[@chrisp14]

Just turned 50. Never married because of what I THOUGHT was going to happen, which you highlighted in this video. Excellent work!

[@john-griffin]

Good instincts. Thanks

[@stevekostakis2983]

John, this is an excellent piece of work. It’s so true…I went through a similar situation…well done. No sex..your relationship is done. I went for 4 years of no sex with my wife…in the end I just got so frustrated with her. Also she packed on the weight and made herself look very unattractive just to put the boot in.

[@john-griffin]

You know, I think that a lot of women suffer from mental illness and we just don’t have any idea. I think there’s a real problem throughout our entire society. Thanks for your comment.

[@Billy-the-Kid]

@@john-griffin Also, most of them women grow and grow and grow, gain weight beyond every limit. Obesity is also a big problem.

[@robert-zg8or]

The best advice I ever got regarding women from an old friend was " if it floats , fks or flys, rent it ". This advice has NEVER failed me.

[@M-iy4tf]

It’s like you’re paying for it😂 You are always paying for it

[@john-griffin]

Yes we are.

[@charliehargrave7458]

You can rent it or pay for it, Better to rent.

[@rrrobeltnest7295]

@@charliehargrave7458 had I done that I would still be a millionaire and had beautiful young women instead of an aging wife that would take me for everything in the end

[@M-iy4tf]

@@charliehargrave7458 if it flies, floats or fucks, usually cheaper to rent

[@TGP109]

Women pay too-in lost time, ageing when they could find someone else, being left with kids, being cheated on, etc.

[@stan1027]

The problem here is that men often allow their little heads to do all their thinking, and women know this and take advantage of it. There is a better way to do things, a way that will produce a better outcome, but it takes a long time to learn it.

[@garyfogel3214]

love your channel john, i love the way you are able to articulate the feelings that most of us men worth a salt have !! ❤

[@john-griffin]

I appreciate that! thanks!

[@jacksquat4140]

The partner who wants (or needs) sex more is in a subservient position to the partner who satisfies said urges. The one who satisfies sexual urges will be in the driver's seat and will govern the relationship, in the same way that the person who loves the least will always have more power over the one who loves the most. As long as someone needs something of value, the supplier of that valuable something can charge pretty much whatever they want, because they are calling the shots. Men need to practice self discipline, self control, and self restraint, otherwise they will be at the mercy of women and will continue to be dominated by them.

[@TGP109]

Men aren't dominated by women, they're dominated by their tragic sex drives. Stop blaming women for your biology.

[@sekaleditenyane4464]

Hi John. You explain what most men go through in a marriage very accurately. Unfortunately, this is how most marriage unfolds. These days, when i look at a couple getting married, i just wonder how long it will take until they get a divorce, like its inevitable.

[@garyfrancis6193]

I have heard marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

[@john-griffin]

I think that we need a new approach to relationships that is more in line with our culture, especially for men. I also think we need a new type of marriage agreement that doesn't put the financial responsibility squarely on the man's shoulders and the children automatically to the woman.

[@Dee-s6s]

They know, they're just master manipulators

[@john-griffin]

Yep!!

[@TGP109]

No, you're just unable to see things from their viewpoint.

[@Kimonha]

In Spanish, we call that setting up a date with Manuela. (The hand)

[@WTHenry2023]

Yes, and in English Manuela is Rosie. 😆 Of course, sometimes we say Manuela as well as a play on the word manual/hand.

[@ksood101]

Thank you for your videos . Very therapeutic. Watching you walking with your beautiful dogs and talking about relationships is wonderful.

[@john-griffin]

What's funny is I have been doing exactly this for the last decade or longer. Now, I just get to share it with the world. Thanks!

[@jawi499]

Truth. I hope this message spreads to all men.

[@jamesleblanc4066]

That's so true, it's almost like a bad movie that you can see the danger but the victim can't get away 😊

[@john-griffin]

so true!

[@vincewhite5087]

You were Love Bombed.

[@maxhung69]

"no more mr nice guy" dr glover recommends we go for women who go for us which means they're not the hottest. when a man goes beyond his market value, he'll eventually pay the price especially in today's world of social media.

[@john-griffin]

That may be some good advice, man thank you

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

I tried that with the last girl, got 3.5 mostly good years till she pulled the plug, I’m 42 now I’d be shocked if I can find one that actually will be good to me long term. Good book read it 5-6 years ago. Reality is I’m good enough to get a bit of female attention here and there and that’s it.

[@maxhung69]

@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 i am a traditional man (mid-50s) and am looking for a traditional woman to marry and have children (i don't have children currently). traditional means i provide the lifestyle and she is the homemaker. i know it's very difficult to find traditional young women in the West today. however, you attract what you are

[@maxhung69]

@john-griffin dr glover married a Mexican woman much younger than him but allows her to have sex with other men while he doesn't. but she treats him like a king. that's the practical trade-off he made to be happy. i don't think i could never do that but it works for him

[@knoxrunner]

My ex-wife's sex drive was off the charts, particularly during "week one' of her pill cycle. However, her attitude had become bitchy and I just didn't feel close to her. I can see how women who feel unaroused by someone that had not worked to heal past hurts. So I think it works both ways.

[@IAmTheEggMan111]

Your situation exists but it is much less common than the woman playing games with sex

[@philaman1972]

Currently, 45 out of 50 states report marriage/divorce statistics and from that was derived the current divorce rate of around 41%. If you factor in the 5 states that do not report these stats, you'll get close to 50%. With that said, why would one roll the dice to risk financial, emotional and mental ruin? It's just not worth it! 52 male never married and no kids.

[@john-griffin]

Great insights. I learned that the hard way.

[@JediDarkForce]

It's even higher as men follow the script it's cheaper to keep her

[@stephenm5662]

Ditto. 63 and recently divorced. So glad to be free of it.

[@carrocesta]

so true! that is the main reason why I am never getting married ever.

[@john-griffin]

Probably a wise decision

[@yodhayyodhay]

Great channel , we’ve all been F D over with this love game , it's all for the young and the foolish, we're we have all been , just hope we can enjoy life without to much mental scaring , learn to forgive and finally have some peace in our hearts

[@AlphaJ369]

I'm your age, been married twice and not going there again. I now let women know that sex IS the man/woman relationship. If your girl knows or feels you have options, they are much less likely to pull that crap.

[@mikejames9642]

My ex wife turned it OFF after our first child, but turned it back ON when she wanted #2. She got off birth control without telling me. She later bragged to my mother that both of our children were conceived without my consent. Some women you can NEVER trust. NEVER. Thanks for a Saturday morning laugh😂

[@john-griffin]

I'm glad you laughed! Have a great day. thanks

[@WTHenry2023]

She sounds like a real peach...

[@manabouttongue]

​@@WTHenry2023Yeah, a real peach if it.

[@Lynn-dx9gj]

Great to hear your perspective on this. I've watched a few of your videos and appreciate your honest, & respectful, views. I will add, as a woman (haven't been in the position of being married with children), that, as you yourself fully acknowledged, issues do arise for women - postpartum depression, or any number of things, really (could be physical, as well, as there are disorders that cause immense pain for women) - and in many cases (not all - there is of course manipulation), this lowered or missing sex drive in women is unwanted by them. But you are 100% justified (and, plainly, normal!) in expecting to maintain intimacy - that goes along with having sex! - and that without this, the relationship can be expected to die. Any woman - either doing this purposely (manipulating) or without purpose - NEEDS TO BE WILLING TO COMMUNICATE ANY ISSUES with her partner AND WORK THEM OUT. Period. If it's something she's missing (reasonably, I mean - not playing games, as that's narcissism or close enough to it), SAY IT. If she can't do that, then there's no way for a relationship to flourish. Even if a woman's sex drive works differently, that's okay - with proper communication, a willingness - a true willingness - to work on the relationship and maintain intimacy - in other words, if 2 people truly love one another and are willing to invest in that love, these are the people who will get through any problems. And yes, this may be rare. Unfortunately, from my personal experiene, there are issues the other way around as well, as I was in a long-term relationship where I tried my absolute best but realised there never WAS intimacy, because he wasn't capable (that's where I learned what "narcissism" was! NO JOKE!)...so the whole thing was a lie that I one day woke up to, and then everything made sense, looking back! So it's hard for us all, in this day and age. I do think love is rare (agape love). Again, love your videos - best to you :)

[@john-griffin]

Thank you so much for your input. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate hearing from a woman and understanding your perspective on some of these really important issues. Thank you again.

[@77magicbus]

Hahahaha. I am a 66 year old never married male, no children. Maybe I haven't missed much after all? At least half of my male friends seem to have encountered divorce, and child care costs, emotional turmoil etc.. Life just isn't as easy as we think it should or could be I guess. No matter what your choices are in life, there are consequences. We need to know that and think carefully before making long term commitments. Being single and alone just isn't an option for most of us.

[@john-griffin]

A lot of wisdom there, man thank you

[@JonathanLewis-gf1lu]

I know what you guys My ex did the same thing only I didn’t have kids and then after 8 years she cheated and then I left so I understand you bro

[@Paul-of3ut]

John your the man. You make me laugh so much you picked me out the gutter so many times with your videos and your 100% right.6 weeks ago my Mrs left me totally unexpected had no arguments turns out she cheated. Ripped my heart out and i didn't handle it well. Just want to say thanks and keep uploading. I know what you mean about when you get married the sex stops blimey i had to pay my ex alcoholic gambling ex wife for some sexy time. That's just wrong. No way that will happen again

[@john-griffin]

Good luck man. I know it’s really tough right now. It’s going to get so much better. It will be a day when you wake up and you will be so glad that you were the only person sleeping in your bed. It’s such a relief.

[@Paul-of3ut]

@john-griffin yeah i hope so i just miss the cuddles and sexy time. I'm 53 now and not so easy to find a woman now as i don't go to pubs and clubs so just don't know how to meet anyone.

[@jayhova603]

Thanks, John. I'm middle aged and resonate with everything you shared. I was married for 10 years and together for 14, with three young kids. Trying to coparent when she is the one who left and found someone else already within a year has been a nightmare that never ends.

[@WTHenry2023]

They plan their exit and have a replacement well before they leave.

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

They can get someone to have sex with them in 30 minutes…even if it’s just an average looking woman thanks to the internet.

[@Last_one_before_I_go]

@@WTHenry2023 - As what happened with me. She swore she didn't but when I think back and connect the dots, it's so clear she did. The problem I have is she's fooled our kids to think it wasn't the case. For me to try and reason with them is met with push back, so I've dropped the matter. But at some point the truths will become apparent.

[@derekfrost6949]

Thanks for the good content John. This channel is definitely for men but you still maintain a balanced perspective based on truth. You’re focused and not distracted by hating women. This kind of good attitude will help lots of men realize the truth and give them strength to move past their need for a woman in general. I am 37 and have stayed single for 3 years after my divorce for the most part. Had a relationship a few months ago with a very narcissistic woman and I could not give up my freedom again. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach for weeks at the end but I did leave. This is when I started to learn more about this topic. I had to bring witnesses to get my stuff out of her apartment. This lady was from China. I thought I could skip all the dating bull shit and have a transactional relationship where I get sex on a regular basis. I don’t recommend this at all, far worse than dealing with the dating game here. The good thing is that I am young and although I had a hiccup a few months ago with some more added to my financial debt, I can get out of this and Biuld the financial future that I want.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks I’m glad you enjoyed the content and you recognize. I’m trying to take a balance approach. I’m a big believer in maintaining my own piece of mind. I think that our minds are the only thing that distinguishes us from animals. If your mind is cluttered with anger, or even, the desire for a ill advised relationship, it’s tough to avoid making bigger and bigger mistakes. I certainly understand your desire with the woman from China. Unfortunately, for anything that’s really worth having, there really is no shortcut. And I think as men because we have the strong desire for sex. We want to find the shortest distance between two points. And often times that shortest distance causes us problems in the future. Sometimes it’s better to take the scenic route. Thanks for your comment.

[@lordjim3109]

I like the way you are, not pushing yourself onto the screen and into my face and into my mind. It`s more like a conversation with a friend. Keep it up. I enjoy watching your channel. And the forest as a background is excellent.

[@john-griffin]

I appreciate that!

[@maxhung69]

this video is too painful. you are talking about your relationship from your perspective. she didn't want to have sex with you for many years and told you many times. you should have divorced her then. plenty of women would have wanted to be with you. when you have to beg for sex, the relationship is over.

[@adamtedder1012]

Mine shut it off completely after our son. One day, she told me I don't care if we ever have sex again. She said sex is for making babies, and if we aren't making no more babies, she doesn't want to have sex. Eventually, when I was clearly gonna leave she started giving me some once every 3 to 6 mths. Then I told her I want a divorce after 20yrs and she wants to all of a sudden do it and everything else under the son. All of a sudden, she also wants to be a good wife too. 20yrs shit marriage. 3 mths so far not being that person. Lmfao. I'm hitting it and still gonna leave her. It's not about right now it's about the 20yrs preceding it.

[@john-griffin]

Get it while the getting good.

[@adamtedder1012]

@john-griffin well like you said, it's not the same for them as it is for us. Its a tool shes trying to use. I've seen this the last time when I actually left. Sucked me back in with this act and cost me 5 yrs. She got me back in, and before I realized it, things went right back the way it was when I left. The difference is this time my son is now almost grown, he wants to leave with me, and I'm not leaving my house. I told her we were selling the house. The deed and mortgage are in my name alone, and that gives me the right to sell. I just have to give her half. So she knows. She jumped in the shower with me one day, and I told her I'm not gay if your throwing it at me, I'm taking it, but it's not changing a thing. I haven't brought it up again. She throws it at me, I take it. She wants to believe something has changed that's on her. I think she knows, though, because she is putting money away and working for the first time in her life. Good for the next guy, but nothing changes the lost years she took.

[@john-griffin]

Although I tried to be as diplomatic and kind as I can to my ex-wife, seeing how her life has turned into a dumpster fire since she left me does help me feel a little better. I hope you get that same feeling of satisfaction someday.

[@adamtedder1012]

@john-griffin at this point, I've completely disconnected. Whatever she does, however, it ends up is what it is as long as she's out of my life.

[@McBillyBoy]

When you notice that physical intimacy is starting to decline, it's important to pay attention. If it feels like a consistent pattern, consider pulling back emotionally or even ending the relationship. Often, when intimacy fades, it doesn't improve, and in some cases, it might even be used as a tool for control or manipulation. Recognize the signs early and decide what's best for your well-being.

[@john-griffin]

That’s good advice, but it’s a lot harder than it seems. There’s always an excuse, I’m not feeling well, will do it next week, I’m having my period, I need to go to bed early tonight, I’m tired, it’s just one thing after the next. they’re really good at it actually

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

@@john-griffinwhat’s funny is years later after the fact I’ve told female friends and family (my own dam mother) what happened about the drop off in physical intimacy and almost all had an excuse about why that may have happened.

[@john-griffin]

I know, women are always apologist for one another. It seems like they don’t want to take responsibility for their own actions.

[@vanderpool2563]

Perhaps it is uncomfortable for women to have sex during menstruation. With all of the blood everywhere it gets kinda gross. Definitely smells like iron. ​@@john-griffin

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

The beginning of this video sounded exactly like me, my wife stopped sex the second she got pregnant with our first…no sex for 10 months. Things were never the same again although what stung most in this video was the “I never want to do that again with you line”. I never heard that but dang that’s tough but I did face hundreds of rejection. Marriage has become a sick thing. I really could have used this info 16 years ago when I was going through the initial rejection phase and was hurting so bad and confused.

[@Billy-the-Kid]

Man up! If she 'forgets' to put out, communicate. If she refuses, plan your exit.

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

@@Billy-the-Kid she died from cancer at 33 that was 9 years ago now…you move on but the mental sting of all the rejection I don’t know if it ever fully leaves our mind/body

[@Billy-the-Kid]

@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 I see it still keeps your mind busy after all these years. Some say withholding in a relation equals mental and physical abuse of the SO. Would you say that's true?

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

@@Billy-the-Kid it’s definitely emotional abuse as a means to control a person. Men fight physically women fight emotionally and they are masters of it because they learn to do it from an early age. Makeup, high heels pushup bras fake tears you will never really know a woman because she will never even really know herself.

[@callsteveleslie]

John, I Have Watched & Subscribed To Your Channel For Several Weeks Now & You Have A Way Of Stating The Truth!!! Your Perspective Is So Right On Point…I Was Laughing At This Video Because Of How True…I Mean 500% Correct Your Observations Are…Hindsight IS 20/20 !!! I Was Married 19 Years & This Video Describes To A Tee EXACTLY What Happened In My Marriage…Except There Were 4 Children!!! The Story Was Literally Verbatim…The Results Were Identical…It’s Like You Wrote The Script And I Was Cast To Play This Role…Almost Pathetic & Sad How Predictable Things Went…Right On Cue!!! I Am In A paid Mens Recovery Group…Better Beyond Divorce…& I Posted To The Group About Your Channel…This Video Specifically…& How Much I Enjoy Listening To Your Vantage Point Of View… Keep Up Your Great Work…Your Sense Of Humor, Insights & Advice…!!!! Take Care

[@john-griffin]

Thanks! I think a lot of guys have very similar experiences. The only guys I see arguing with me are the few that are really happily married and young guys who "think" they know what they're talking about. They are the real "experts". I love reading their comments! Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it!

[@DouglasBrown-pr2no]

If your neighbor has a boat and a wife, you don't need either.😂

[@john-griffin]

Thats great!!!

[@shaneshrimp6519]

I'm sure his second daughter will love hearing how she was conceived . lol

[@john-griffin]

I told her!

[@InterstateremovalsAuFurniture]

Mr. Shane Simp fit to throw mud? On a genuine, honest man doung his best keeping it real. No one cares about crap comments without substance from a bottom feeder.

[@shaneshrimp6519]

@@john-griffin I figured you did but still not a great way to find out how you came to be.

[@shaneshrimp6519]

@@InterstateremovalsAuFurniture Sounds like you have plenty of soy in your diet !

[@john-griffin]

She and I are great friends. We laugh about these things. But thanks for your concern.

[@howardbarrett1125]

Every word pure gold. I know that switch, initially being scrutinized, assessed, then…., postpartum off switch. Then the weaponized rationing of the one thing I wanted. Oh my god…. I have to add that I got that vasectomy promise as well……wtf

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

Mine was “if you buy me a rainbow Vacumn I’ll have sex with you whenever you want”……I bought the vacuum and surprise surprise I didn’t get sex whenever I wanted.

[@TGP109]

''The one thing I wanted''. No wonder it failed.

[@JackLopez-e9k]

Always have a side chick. They come in very handy when your " main one "develops an attitude. Works great.

[@Scorned405]

Yup. Absolutely and don’t feel too guilty about it because the woman probably has a side piece

[@NashDr]

He didn't maybe, cause he was more into her obviously

[@JackLopez-e9k]

@@Scorned405 You are 100% right. If she is NOT giving it to you. She is giving to someone else.

[@saxonsteve]

I cannot do this. It goes completely against what I believe is right and wrong.

[@Scorned405]

@@saxonsteve You must be blue pilled. Take the red pill

[@dmil843]

You can’t negotiate desire

[@albert2395]

Something else I'd like to say, is I have never been in a loving relationship with a woman, and even though I am six foot three, slim and healthy, I have always been rejected! I am not one of the beautiful people, but I think I am an average looking guy. I have never had confidence with women, because even from a teenager, they have always been dismissive and even down right offensive!!

[@john-griffin]

I know that hurts. Just know, that when you find the right one, none of that will matter. Just remember to make good decisions with the right head! Good luck.

[@albert2395]

@@john-griffin thanks John!

[@unskilledlabor1]

Am I the only one who finds sex wildly overrated? Don't get me wrong it's great and all but it's far from the greatest thing ever...

[@TheZrpilot]

same here.

[@DUNEATV]

Same, I agree…but…hot passionate sex is amazing. I’m 50 and very good at pleasing a woman but if it’s just blowing a nut without passion I’ll pass. I could “rub one out” and save a lot of time and money.

[@john-griffin]

I don't know. Maybe its a generational thing or something. Today, there is tons of porn and other sources to address that issue. When I was a young man, there was really only one way to get relief. So, we had a lot of sex.

[@TGP109]

@@john-griffin Wow, so women were ''relief'' for you. BLECH.

[@cd-sq8bi]

Man I love you honesty. And your authenticity. I think it's couragaeous to talk in front of a camera like this. I'm in my late fifties and you are kind of role model for me. Keep on rockin. Like your sense of humour too😊...

[@john-griffin]

I appreciate that!

[@johnheart6890]

I am curious if you have any opinions on Narcissistic wives? Perhaps this has something to do with it or perhaps not. Additionally, I am wondering what you think about affection and a sense of fun in a marriage. My guess is that when the sex dropped off so did the affection and so did “having fun“. Showing each other affection and caring really counts for a lot. Being able to have some laughs and really be yourself with a woman goes along way. My guess is that once the sex dropped off the affection dropped off and the fun dropped off. Am I correct? Is it possible that your wife was a narcissist? I’m not making any assumptions. I’m just very curious about what your answer would be. Very good video! Thanks.

[@john-griffin]

You know there’s such a thing as pathological narcissism and I don’t think she was that. Did she have some narcissistic tendency yes. You have to understand that she had been a Broadway dancer and she had performed all around the world with some of the biggest stars in the world before I met her. When you lived that life, you were treated like a queen. She’s actually giving people her autograph before. As far as the affection goes, we remain somewhat affectionate throughout the entire marriage. Like we would still hold hands and we certainly kissed in the morning and kissed in the evening and we kissed goodbye and things like that. From the outside, we would appear to be healthy relationship. In fact, friends and neighbors would tell us how much they beat us because it seemed like we were so close. In all honesty, we were actually relatively good friends. We just weren’t physically intimate anymore. The longer that lack of intimacy went, the more distant we became. Good questions, though, I appreciate it.

[@Billy-the-Kid]

@@john-griffin Would you say, or admit, that menopause is a big deal breaker along the way for couples? Seems menopause women turn the switch off most of the time.

[@Porkypies6m]

@@Billy-the-Kid its a common excuse but u cant blame the M when u have hands mouth ttitties etc to satisfy ur man

[@amamam420]

Hi John love the channel, subscribed. I don’t understand how you could put up with that situation for so long with no sex. You should have told your wife you will seek it elsewhere as its a physical need for you but that you still love her very much and its just a physical thing you are taking care of and that you wanted to do the right thing and give her “first dibs”. If she declines then you can have guilt free sex with anyone as long as its just sex without emotion as you have been straight up and honest with your wife. If sex in your relationship is not important to her that is fine she should be comfortable to outsource it. By trying to “appease” her by doing dishes is just going to make her even less attracted to you because no real man would accept that ridiculous situation of his wife not satisfying him. And if she leaves you because of this then its also a positive outcome because she was going to leave you anyway. The added bonus of doing this is that she might rekindle the flame when she sees the old John she fell in love with who had balls and was his own man and didn’t take shit from anyone. If you can be manipulated by her through sex how are you supposed to protect her from the world? I am not quite understanding why you have voluntarily put yourself in such an unmanly and unattractive position… I don’t mean to be offensive you are a really great guy and the world needs more great people like you but this is just too far mate…

[@NashDr]

He was more into her than she eventually, no wonder he did not respond. Women are called bitches if they had an urge or acted upon it in a relation, more than men. so it's complex

[@TGP109]

Since when is doing the dishes a recipe for sex? You should be taking care of the housework that needs doing, as should the wife.

[@amamam420]

@@TGP109 its a great way to make your wife lose what remaining attraction there was left by being a good little boy and doing everything she requests hoping for a treat

[@john-griffin]

My parents divorced when I was a kid. More than anything, I did not want a divorce. I wanted to find a way to work things out. Really, I think it was my belief that I could fix it and fix her if I just didn't give up. I was wrong. I almost think it was an ego thing. I didn't want to fail at marriage. I always believed that I was smart enough to make any relationship work. I was wrong again. So, I learned a lot about myself and my overconfident ego, which has taught me humility. Now, I don't try to fix people in my life. I accept that they travel their own path. I don't get attached to people. I enjoy them for now and let them go when the time is right. Most importantly, I don't get into any legally binding relationships. Thanks for your comments and questions.

[@amamam420]

@@john-griffin thanks John you are a great guy. I really appreciate listening to your wise thoughts on this channel. It’s good to fully know and accept only what you can control.

[@richarddavidson8266]

Love your honesty and camerawork. Brutally honest ❤

[@john-griffin]

Thanks! I really appreciate your feeback!

[@steven-k7j7v]

I really had to laugh with you at the end of this one. 😂, Good one. 👌

[@john-griffin]

Thanks!

[@ryandgarland]

You have nailed it! This is exactly the way marriage and sex goes. Best lesson is to move on and bang the next. Always be on your way to the next. They always try the most as you are leaving. So always be leaving!

[@john-griffin]

Excellent advice!!! Thanks

[@joshuakelly997]

Thank you

[@john-griffin]

You're welcome, I’m glad you enjoyed the video

[@teapotube1448]

Great content. Found you too late (after my divorce). I’m 32. It’s funny how women from all different parts of the world end up acting the same way after marriage. IMO leveraging sex / not providing to your man after marriage is crazy and ridiculous

[@TGP109]

Very few women ''leverage'' sex, it just feels that way because in the early, carefree days of your relationship, that's all you two had going on. Life intervenes-jobs, stress, illness, children.

[@cryptoroseaz]

It is really sad that marriage works out this way. Men are obligated to perform their role every day while women get to decide to turn off something that is so critical to the preservation of the relationship. They dont realize the damage they are doing.

[@TGP109]

What, work? Most married mothers work too.

[@charlesterrell2507]

You are the best you’re making me laugh you’re so right I’m 67. I’m still having trouble keeping my switch off but I’m learning. Good job Carry on

[@john-griffin]

I’m glad you thought it was funny, thanks

[@cherylhikes2234]

Ever wonder why the sex stops in a marriage?

[@transformationbyangie]

@@cherylhikes2234 exactly my thoughts

[@john-griffin]

I think we have all been living under the myth that men are the promiscuous ones and women are the loyal ones. However, I think women are as if not more promiscuous than men. It’s like we have all been fooled entire time.

[@sauter1]

As the old saw goes, if you put a penny in a jar for every time you have sex during the first year, then start taking OUT a penny for each time you have sex thereafter..you'll never empty the jar. And here's one a late uncle of mine used to say: "Listen, son... marriage is like a big jar full of SH*T, but with a thin layer of honey on top to lure you in." Lol..RIP uncle Frankie.

[@daviddaughenbaugh1080]

Yep!

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@dews3340]

True and thanks for sharing today.... From outside hiking trails in the Ozarks 😂

[@alexandervaldes7200]

Great videos, thank you. For those new here, Learn or perish.

[@john-griffin]

Glad you like them!

[@Katarzyna-h2z]

Sex discipline and emotional awareness will set you free from your weakness, no woman will have power over you.

[@Jay-xb6nc]

What a beautiful walk.

[@john-griffin]

Living near those woods and streams is a blessing. If you get a chance to get outside in a natural built-up area like that, it’s worth every bit of energy it takes to get there. Thanks for watching.

[@geraldbeard856]

to be honest though much of the time in relatioships 'the fire goes out' and that can happen to men as well as women

[@bailey309]

I’m 59 and in the same situation although I’m not divorced (yet). My daughter is a 21 year old university student and living at home. Three more semesters to go and then she graduates. I’m hanging on until then.

[@adamtedder1012]

Nah you should be starting your way out now. It's a long drawn out process. I'm going thru it now getting the house all fixed up to sell so we can be done with each other.

[@john-griffin]

I know how you feel. You hung in there this long, was another year and a half. I think I would start laying the groundwork for the separation and divorce. You may want to talk to a lawyer or even a divorce mediator.

[@sverre371]

Others might if she doesn't want to; if she knows that, it's all up to her.

[@freeandcriticalthinker4431]

Awesome video, so true. It’s me now

[@john-griffin]

Glad you liked it!

[@PinoSantilli-hp5qq]

Its great that you are sharing your story candidly! Wives should NOT withhold sex... c'mon man Biden would say!

[@theglobalvagabond3074]

When you get married you are automatically putting your life on the line the day after you tie the knot. The M word is more important and risky. Love has nothing to do with it. The "Love Emotion" can come and go, but the legal system stays the same. Marriage is government sponsored slavery for men. Period.

[@sunlbx]

i've heard that vasectomy is actually a turn off for women, no matter what words they say about it

[@IAmTheEggMan111]

Spot on

[@christopherrobin361]

I had to not tell them when we here going to be intimate. In my 20s a pretty older woman stopped dating me when I told her before we going to do bedroom activity. The irony is that she never got married and had children, but at that time she probably couldn't trap me with pregnancy. Her sister had done that to another guy; it appear she considered doing that, too.

[@WTHenry2023]

Don't tell them. Your body, your choice...... to reproduce or not.

[@Last_one_before_I_go]

When you tell them, it could very well eliminate a strategy they had in mind for developing the potential relationship. You in essence, take away a card in their hand to play.

[@john-griffin]

Just don't mention it. By the time they figure it out, you're done.

[@roberth7894]

I don't think that there was ever a time when the majority of people had harmony, balance and passion in their marriages. It's especially a problem in the U.S.A. Marriage, and long term cohabitation relationships rarely maintain passion- it's like vinegar and oil. Not saying that it doesn't happen in a small percentage of relationships, and I think that men just aren't telling themselves the truth and being realistic about their prospects for sexual satisfaction. It's a lot of work to be on the prowl all of the time trying to fulfill one's needs, so most find one person and hope for the best because the alternative is singlehood and a lot of guys can't handle being alone, or they want kids so they have to choose a partner.

[@TGP109]

You're right, marriage has never been harmonious, that's why parents chose spouses for their children and one just made the best of it. Too many men have the fantasy that sex will be spontaneous and regular now that birth control is on offer, but women don't crave sex that often, nor do they enjoy it as reliably as men do. There's no reason to wonder ''why'' when you actually know the extreme divide between the sexes in regards to risk and satisfaction in sex.

[@jazlynsaykwa5485]

I think your description of the usual pattern of sexual behavior in marriage is spot on, although there are many exceptions. Also, there are many reasons why a couple has less than less sex over time. Personally, as a single woman no it is not very satisfying because many men read the engineering sex manual…… This manual is only a couple sentences long and it goes something like this…… “In. Out. Repeat “……

[@john-griffin]

That's great! I love it. You cracked me up. Thanks

[@IAmTheEggMan111]

You have to teach them what you like

[@TGP109]

@@IAmTheEggMan111 It's rather obvious what women like-go read some books.

[@IAmTheEggMan111]

@@TGP109 every woman is different mate. Your famous move won’t work on all of them

[@LawlessGaming13]

Videos like this make me feel like the smartest man alive for never getting married. They're all the same more or less.

[@andre1987eph]

John, I am going to be your constant critic. I don't have anything against you. It's because despite everything you've been through you still don't get it. "It" is the spiritual discernment. BTW once you have it, you'll know that women don't have any "secret power". More to come later.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks, I really appreciate whatever contribution you can make. I love listening to all opinions and ideas on this topic. I am certainly open to learning new things.

[@gregorylatta8159]

Why don't you elaborate on your assertion???

[@WTHenry2023]

This is a perfect opportunity for you to start your own YT channel and share your enlightenment with the rest of us.

[@HawaiiSki]

Thank you for sharing. You’re pretty much describe my marriage to a T. We have a lot in common.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@plasmaarmelund]

Same here. It's remarkable how many men are sharing these experiences. I think most suffer in silence and never get to express their feelings and how they are affected by the chains of a disfunctional marriage.

[@kevinwelsh7490]

prenup: woman gets right of first refusal when man seeking to resolve his need for sex

[@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT]

Just don’t get married.