The Secret To Finding Love & The Perfect Partner - Jordan Peterson

[@korab.23]

The more you become that person, the better you're set up to find a worthy match.

[@Debunderwood]

I'm physically, mentally, financially and spiritually fit. 6 years later nothing.

[@ajbuffnerd]

@@Debunderwood You don’t have leverage at this point in your life which is sad but true. You probably won’t get your ideal man.

[@coleen2213]

@@ajbuffnerd No, it can still happen!

[@maya76_72]

@Doublem but Deb said she is spiritually fit, so what you describe is not the type of girls she belongs to.

[@artifundio1]

@@Debunderwood same problem for me.. I see boys, not men. Needy boys looking for a care taker. I want a man, not a boy. But men find me too uncontrollable... Why do they want to control anybody? A mistery to me, but after so many narcissists and codependency, I learned what I needed and made my inner work. I cannot let anybody control me again, but this seems to be a kind of threat to many men. I am sad and confused, but still hopeful about finding love.

[@kristofergonzalez871]

“If you want friends, be a friend”

[@YJ-7]

“If you want good friends first be a good person that others will want to become friends with”

[@theresahenderson3534]

I am a pretty good friend, yet people take advantage of me. When I needed a friend when they were available for me.

[@shirleykilbride4555]

A soul mate is also u best friend as well as you're lover

[@DoodleStar]

And get friendzoned. Great advice.

[@SyabongaNgubane-t9r]

Meaningful friend ship can lead to a beautiful marriage. Romance without a Freindship bond leads to divorce if not giving you a lift time roommate instead of a life partner. You all need to get your perspectives straight.!! Even if feelings go away and the looks and the body physics fade the Freindship and relashionship with God from the both of you must stay.!😊

[@OnichanDeez]

Clean, healthy and reasonably good physique, productive, generous, honest, willing to delay gratification. Let's go boys.

[@graveripper69]

No, let me rephrase that, let's go simps!

[@H20x3]

Nah let me rephrase - let’s go human beings with a basic sense of self worth!

[@hm5468]

@@graveripper69 I mean, bruh. You don’t have to be clean for women. Do you need an incentive to be clean? Same with eveerything else. These are all very basic human requirements for any person in society to think of you as a good, worthy human. Lol grow up. Did you hear anything surprising in this very short list of very attainable things? That’s why people like you are bums that will never evolve, if you find these things to be difficult. It’s preposterous.

[@5679791]

​@@graveripper69 Maybe you should define again the word simp. He is talking about most of women, maybe not you.

[@paradox11111111]

​@@graveripper69 cringe bro

[@cristinaegbert7183]

I just wanna hug this man like the dad ive never had! ❤

[@Mrg33446]

for real, i just tought that

[@siyabongamtetwa7888]

I feel you. I wanna do the same too.

[@yungyola5331]

Hey na....u look amazing

[@threewishes777]

Same here. He is one of my father figure.

[@Gretsch0997]

I want to man-hug him too. Hahhh I wish somebody told me this when I was 18. I’m 53 Now. 😳

[@nicoleslavens4934]

I like that Jordan talks about ACTUALLY becoming a better person to find a partner, not just manipulating people into believing that's who you are and then showing your true colors after the fact.

[@DonTruman]

Another angle: don't wait for someone who will fix your problems and weaknesses, go about fixing them yourself.

[@natibelfortunato6879]

THIS is the most important key. It all begins with you. you take the initiative and do the work now, to then be ready for the arrival of a worthy match.

[@MissChatterton]

100%

[@Rapunzel808]

If I had bought even a small home just to maintain the smoothgrounding of all the things listed here that would’ve been the answer for me .Even rent to own or cosign or get a grant on something so you are more grounded because otherwise these qualities can be undermined by narcissists in any rental situation. It happened to me and my dog was killed. owning a home is the protector for all the things you are creating that make you who you are.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

It's not about waiting for someone to FIX you. It's about not being with someone whose BROKEN.

[@haveaniceday2229]

I think this where female friends can help because sometimes you don't know what you may need to fix in order to attract the type of person you want. if you feel happy with yourself you may say to yourself, I'm good! and while that's healthy, a friend can help you see where improvements can be made to then attract. just my 2 cents

[@Lauren-7777]

Willing to delay gratification. Gold. Spot on !

[@samyakhp4353]

When he is lecturing men, you are all for it, but when he holds women accountable, you are against him

[@natibelfortunato6879]

yes! so incredibly important and necessary.

[@tprice1735]

Lol, are you willing to "delay gratification"? 😆

[@natibelfortunato6879]

@@tprice1735 i know you weren’t replying to me but i like that you asked that question because it’s important that one doesn’t expect or require something from someone that they do not already practice, provide, or live by. if i want respect, i need to first give it. (to myself before anyone else but you get the point.) you can insert anything there. it’s important to keep that in mind to avoid double standards or excuses, etc.

[@IHavent82Day]

@@samyakhp4353 you know her?

[@gawdzalien2811]

Everytime Jordan Peterson speaks I have a paradigm shift

[@revan552]

Cool your jets there, cowboy. He's a pretty solid self-help guru, but you Lobsters act like he's the f*cking messiah, and drool at every word he says, no matter how banal, or wrong. 🤣 "Be the type of person you'd want to marry" is entry level dating advice. It's good advice, yea, but it's not that profound and not remotely unique to Peterson.

[@tanyawieczorek6603]

@@revan552 what has he said that's wrong?

[@revan552]

@@tanyawieczorek6603 Just off the top of my head: 1: Every single word he has ever spoken about Climate Change isn't just wrong. It is ridiculous and absurd nonsense. 2: He loves to rant about "Post-Modernist Neo-Marxists" but has no idea what those actually are. For starters, anyone with a college Sophomore level of education in philosophy knows there's no such thing as "Post-Modernist Neo-Marxist." Those are contradictory philosophies. It's like saying "Capitalist Communists." 🤣 3: His entire Lobster shtick is hugely flawed. Hell, the one paper he references in Maps of Meaning, which he then builds on in 12 Rules for Life, isn't even about lobsters. It's about crayfish. 🤣 4: He appears to have a solid grasp if cultural myths; but the conclusions he draws from many if them are suspect at best; if not outright "ancient aliens" level stupid, such as the time he argued ancient cultures knew about DNA because the caduceus symbol, and a shroom trip he had. 5: One of his favorite talking points is the evils of "Ideology." He clearly doesn't't know what the word means, and apparently lacks the self awareness to realize that he is as "ideology ridden" as the strawmen he rants against so often. I'm sure Peterson was good at his job as a psychologist, and he has "some" merit as a self-help guru. Outside that, dude is full of shit more often than not, and IS exactly what he hates are argues against. There's a few examples, off the top of my head.

[@potatorekt7046]

@@revan552 Ok, now we know you are a narcissist, go seek attention somewhere else.

[@lanstylez]

@@revan552 I was genuinely interested to read your explanation, only to realize you didn’t make a single point worth reading. I’d like my 2 minutes back

[@litjellyfish]

Also usually the closer you are to those things the less you think about the need to find another person “to make you whole”

[@unfkwttble]

Yess !! And once you stop worrying about finding someone to make you whole your options start opening up and it becomes a lot easier to find potential partners, probably because when you’re more ‘put together’ you come off as more attractive

[@mywifesboyfriend5558]

In these times, most men will go their whole lives having never even kissed a woman. Sad thing is, it won't be their fault at all. Think on that.

[@privateprivate8366]

Sometimes. Because, sometimes, being all those great things, is the reason you can’t settle. Can get quite like lonely, while you’re trying to be your best self. Also, I’ve spoken online a bit to MGTOW men. Perhaps, I’m what some of them are looking for. Apparently, my qualities make them call me a unicorn.

[@pearshapedeve]

Exactly!!

[@wella12345]

This! And to be honorable and self disciplined as well, if I may add up to what he said.

[@sarahslovely08]

My husband is hardworking, in the sense that he shows up everyday to work and provides for his family. I knew it when we were teenagers that he was that type of man. Anytime our church needed something to be done. He’d get it done. He’s really good with kids. Funny and playful like a potential dad should be. He ticked all my boxes. I ticked his. Been married 11yrs and 4 kids. ❤

[@mikecarroll5853]

The horrible abyss is where the boy becomes a man. The more you offer other people what they need and want, the more they will line up to play. Be the friend you are looking for. 👌

[@andreasbyczkowski3435]

Wow! That’s SUPER advice!

[@mikecarroll5853]

@@andreasbyczkowski3435 Jordan's a good bet. 👍

[@ryanl775]

Yet in reality a lot of women avoid the “good” man & spend her youth dealing with bad boys

[@mikecarroll5853]

@@ryanl775 that's a study unto itself on the female side. Lol. Nobody jumps off a fast moving train . If your going places your going to attract who you are. So...that begs the question what are you. The best you you can be.

[@8Maduce50]

@@mikecarroll5853 fuck that to much work to attract a mate and keep them entertained enough to keep them off dating apps. Rather just work on myself for myself. Since that's what iv been doing all my life and no one cared or showed up.

[@hellybelle5]

I was always told to make a list of what I wanted in the person I'd want to marry, then try to do/be all those things myself ❤️

[@jirehlozano6257]

Yes 🙌🏼 ❤

[@Shortstacksandticktacks]

I disagree unless you're gay. The ideal man doesn't want a masculine woman. He wants a feminine, soft, caring woman.

[@hellybelle5]

@@Shortstacksandticktacks I don't mean the masculine stuff, but if you're going to say you want to marry someone who is fit and healthy, that's something you should work on. Or if you want to marry someone masculine, then work on being feminine, and vise versa, also for other things that you might want in a member of the opposite sex 😊

[@samyakhp4353]

That's a very wrong idea, promoted by women who don't know anything. Men value different things and females value different things.

[@chimayoshite]

you attract what you think, do, and are. and cant love and care for anyone else if you can't do it for yourself.

[@bludaizee24]

So true! I learned years ago that the harder I worked on being a great wife, my husband also put in the effort to be a great husband. We're going on 20 years now and we only love each other more with every passing year.

[@trudyseeker3550]

Amen to that xxx

[@VedantFalcon]

That's wonderful

[@rebekahfunches6876]

Communication is key too!!

[@Yolanda-p8h]

So is trust

[@jessicacruz2974]

I started asking myself this a few years ago and was determined to become the person I so badly wanted to marry one day. In my own way of course. I found myself really becoming the best version of myself and strive to continue to do that throughout the rest of my life. I then found myself really truly loving myself bc of the work I did to learn about me to know what changes I needed to make to grow as a human. I learned what works for me and what doesn’t and how to strive to be better while also being kind to myself and showing myself grace. Last year I found exactly that in a man and have never been so in love. This is the best advice someone can give about love and dating. If you seriously want a great relationship and partner

[@zeeinvest9473]

Hi Jess This was so beautiful to read ❤ I wanted to ask where you found your partner ?

[@suumit9]

Love the way he explains everything. This won't get you the girl you want, but this will get you the girl you actually need!

[@ricksmith7232]

He’s right, you get what you give. You can’t expect the perfect person if you’re selfish and lazy

[@hannahkinnear7701]

Thank you for adding that. It kills relationships when teamwork is absent.

[@cedrickdherlin6710]

Sometimes that is not true… women expect men to only consider that they are their best version at the moment and forget their past. If you are going to tell me that your past doesn’t define you, then go ahead and give an opportunity to the guy that used to have anger problems… “he is not an abuser anymore”.

[@kubasniak]

Everything is transactional. I'm selfish and skip on judgments and losing my precious time on flaky ppl. People are not worth the time investment. Strangers you have nothing common with.

[@cedrickdherlin6710]

I am coming to my comment to correct myself as I have written this out of pure resentment. I get what Jordan says on becoming the best version of yourself as he is not suggesting this doesn't come with a dragon to face but instead, he is explaining how this is a much better approach than being miserable. On regards of the past, I guess it comes down to the matter of "throw the first rock whoever among you that is free of sin". Yes, judgement comes from not being naive but again, becoming bitter, resenting and cynic is way worse than having a non-naive trust.

[@christinemalloy-brooks7540]

Jordan thank you for affirming that we need to stop looking outside. Become worth someone taking the risk.

[@hellybelle5]

Exactly, and really be them, not just faking it.

[@abbyxiong3931]

I love this. Thank you.

[@mariagusman6949]

I love JP. I always feel a need to protect him somehow… I feel like he’s so beautiful and fragile, despite his intelligence and high capability. He’s a good guy. A good quality Man.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

He has loving family and good friends that look out for him. He's had hard challenges, but is still blessed.

[@sarahwong5592]

You can and should. Pray.

[@tjentiji6022]

He's an egotistical religious zealot.

[@Muriuki_thickskin]

This man never fails to drop worthy nuggets of wisdom. Am really grateful to be in an era graced by his wisdom.

[@peachykeen7634]

What he says, is in the New Testament - Christians have had these nuggets of wisdom for thousands of years. Not all of us managed to communicate it well, but it is there in the Pauline letters.

[@lopave6]

​@@peachykeen7634 yea others had that wisdom even before Christianity came to existence.

[@tsn1218]

I just want to hug Jordan Peterson. He’s one of a kind.

[@FinShapedFin]

To have the perfect partner you must be their perfect partner

[@geertruivanbroekhoven7209]

Wrong. Many people use and abuse 'the perfect partner'. Being a good partner is only half of the path.

[@FinShapedFin]

@@geertruivanbroekhoven7209 you can’t keep them is what I mean, you can’t have a long term relationship if you’re manipulative

[@geertruivanbroekhoven7209]

@@FinShapedFin You'd be amazed how many manipulative people have a long term, even life long partner.

[@dianaford7635]

@@geertruivanbroekhoven7209 Not necessarily true. Those manipulative relationships, regardless of how long they last, are typically unhealthy, unhappy, and don’t stand up to the true test of time. That’s not what JP is suggesting. Abusive and/or unhealthy relationships are not to be tolerated by anyone but if a person refuses to leave such an emotionally destructive relationship, then they are not going to find true happiness with anyone until they are willing to set healthy boundaries. That’s what JP is saying.

[@geertruivanbroekhoven7209]

@@dianaford7635 you are a bit all over the place with all kinds of reasoning. But if you are sure to know what JP exactly is saying, then that is allright with le. It hasn't change my opinion though.

[@GrubKiller436]

Everyone is searching for the ideal, not just men. We simultaneously search for it, are afraid of it, and ultimately want to be embraced by it. But one thing everyone has to remember is that there is no perfect person. To have an ideal isn't a bad thing, but what you need to know is that the ideal isn't out there. It's something you strive for.

[@hannahkinnear7701]

These things are basic things...these things can be achieved by everyone - and these things are FREE

[@fredrickmiller6534]

Fantastic advice, as usual. This man is a better father to me than anyone I've ever had in my life.

[@Platypus2062]

Sadly this is true for millions. I hope millions are learning how to parent through his videos and books, and to heal themselves from their lack of good parenting from their own parents.

[@fredrickmiller6534]

@@Platypus2062 that's my plan. I'm 34 with no kids but I want a big family. Just getting my act together so I don't perpetuate a bad cycle.

[@loveyourself6986]

Do not think what do women want. Think what kind of person do I wanna be

[@TheNdh00]

Love is earned. Like everything else in life. Nothing is free.

[@MesmerEyes2]

Notice the list does not include superficial things, only ways of being. We cannot change anyone except ourselves. Like will attract like so the bottom line is do your inner work. So grateful for Jordan.

[@yvonaamariaa]

Once again Jordan has made something easy to do. This man has so much empathy toward his fellow human being. Many times he gets very emotional when he talks about people who are in NEED. People who are lost and they don't know how to get better. I saw a clip of Jordan on a stage with an interviewer who had asked a question of Jordan. In the audience you can hear a man yelling..."I need help!! I'm unwell, I need help." You could hear this man sobbing, I mean SOBBING, the camera is on the area where the man was but it went back to a shot of Jordan looking over at the scene in front of him. I will never forget the look on Jordans face. He looked like he was in physical pain, tears filled up his eyes and told the security to bring him to the back and they would arrange some help for this broken man. Jordan, most likely, saved this man's life that day. So, because of Jordan being so emphatic I listen to what he has to say. He genuinely wants the best for mankind, one person at a time. Take a look in the mirror, like Michael Jackson says in his song "Man in the mirror" start there and really work at your goal. It doesn't have to be Earth shattering, maybe start with picking up that candy wrapper on the sidewalk. Nod your head, as a greeting, to a person on the street instead of looking away. Be the person you want to hang out with. Be a friend to someone who is marginalized, and without someone to talk to. Anyway, I wasn't planning on saying all this, it just came out. I usually sign off with... As Always Light and Love ~ yvonne

[@shadowjuan2]

That made me tear up. Thank you for sharing.

[@lilacscoffee9360]

God bless you!

[@yvonaamariaa]

@@shadowjuan2 my pleasure.

[@yvonaamariaa]

@@lilacscoffee9360 Your name brings to mind that I LOVE both of these aromatic treasures!!! God Bless you as well, my friend.

[@bamafretwell964]

So glad u kept typing (:

[@cheesygal]

I came to that myself in my 30s. And met my equal. 30 years later, we still meet each other and encourage and challenge each other. We’re best friends and partners in life.

[@kathleenohara6152]

💪💕😁👍👍

[@_____1826]

Question...so you are not marrying that person?

[@cheesygal]

@@_____1826 lol! I married him 29 years ago and have two wonderful daughters who have amazing husbands.

[@colorin81colorado]

Same here. I was 29 years old when I got married and after 32 years together and three children later we still in love and working at it everyday.... I thank God for Mr Peterson's good advise!

[@lovearrows99]

❤❤exactly, 💯! .....but nowdays men are afraid to puting cart before the horse --""offering" to women.....get on a dating site kind attending a gussing riddle gathering.😡🤬😈💯🔥🍉🎈

[@LovingLife639]

This is so true. The moment I stopped looking and wanting... And started focusing on myself and being the best person that I can be for anyone was when I found myself in a situation where men were lining up & asking me out... it was a little overwhelming in the beginning. And I am not talking about internet dating either... talking about real life encounter! I have someone incredible rn... he came into my life unexpectedly ❤️

[@emorsen9063]

Love that 🌹 want this too!

[@theoriginal.buildyourstrength]

Jordan makes me crying so often. It's so clear, so easy and so emotional. Thanks for providing clarity and value to all of us. ♥️

[@Valerierose-vc8qd]

Hello dear you look attractive to me don't you mind having a chat with me❤

[@betricemainoya4176]

❤

[@mindinmybiscuits]

And DONT QUIT. Make this who you are, not a front.

[@emmashuffle6457]

This exact message is why I currently do not date. Would I like to be dating and having someone to share intimate parts of my life with? Yes. But I’m at a place in life where I can’t give what I would want, need and expect from a partner. Which tells me that I am not personally in a place to have a relationship with another person. It’s not fair to them and it stunts me from growing into a better person who can offer those things that I would want in a partner. Your setting up a relationship for failure if you don’t at least ask yourself what you can do to contribute to the other persons life. Meet your expectations of others.

[@loveyourself6986]

A woman

[@supereleonora7911]

I have always thought that looking good and being nice and happy - not mean, is enough. But recently I realized that is nice also to give/ receive affection, to see and feel the admiration and the love in the eyes of the other person. This is the real elevation, it lifts you up, just feels great :)

[@bleedulus]

YES. I recently learned this the hard way myself. Lost someone i love because I didn’t fulfill their needs. They weren’t perfect either but I will be better from this.

[@truthfulpatriot9129]

Perfect response from JP❤

[@heartstopped..]

Being so in love, you can barely even feel the warmth of your partner wrap around you. You never really realize how much a hug matters, until you get it from the person in life that you find so much joy, so much love through and you just can barely even feel yourself move. It feels like you’re floating mid air and you can’t come down, but to be honest, that’s one of the best feelings in life.❤

[@END69]

Be generous to the people who really need your generosity.

[@sylmarie6494]

That’s also great business advice!❤️

[@itsourlife]

Applies to literally every relationship, business, love, family and friendship.

[@lmc2375]

Love yourself first, know your self worth also, are main factors. It's critical if you want to attract the same frequency in another, or you will end up attracting those of a neg vibe - everything you won't want. The level of love you hold for yourself, is the same level you'll attract. Treat yourself like gold, not like dirt, nor a mat. So, as he somewhat says, 'Be the kind of person you want.' Truthful, honest, fair, integrity, loyalty, stability, emotionally available, reciprocal in nature and has staying power in addition to clean would be ideal for the best choice in a life partner.

[@HenryDube72]

Yup, the only message Jordan left out of this. You should have some backbone and boundaries on top of what Jordan suggested.

[@lmc2375]

@@HenryDube72 Yup! Set them high to keep the riff raff out.

[@onlyjazztoday]

Don’t tell people, ‘You’re okay the way that you are.’ That’s not the right story. The right story is, ‘You’re way less than you could be.' 🤓👍

[@bennyheadofthechairmen8808]

@@onlyjazztoday ya like jazz?

[@rickholland6695]

This is like when he says "clean your room". Get your life straight. Build yourself into the person you want to be but also what others would be attracted to. I was 16 in a high-school medical training program. My training mentor was Penny, she was 30. We eventually worked as Paramedic partners on the ambulance for many years. We a great team on and off duty. We built a successful life together, suffered and sacrificed together improving ourselves and our relationship. I knew her for 43 wonderful years. We lived together for 30 years, married 15 of them. Unfortunately she passed away 2020. But life goes on.

[@FrankleeAstar]

Rick, thank you so much for sharing your experience- of an "unconventional" love(the age difference can throw some people off, they don't understand how 2 people who are so many years apart in age can have a healthy relationship- but when your souls have known eachother for eternity you don't see the age difference or feel it, it's just a number that has no bearing on the quality of your love for eachother) I am so sorry for your loss, but please know Penny is standing right beside you in spirit, she has not left you and never will - I'm grateful for the time you had together here on Earth and the lessons you learned together and taught eachother- sending you so much love and light 🙏💜☀️

[@gretavains8707]

Wow😢

[@mauitherapper1653]

For myself, I've narrowed it down to time, effort, dedication, commitment, attention, communication, honesty, and patience

[@kate59416]

Love Jordan Peterson ‘s words of advice ....down to earth truth...reality check ....God bless him!

[@rosemaryallen2128]

Here's another angle: when I was 18, I stood in the school library and wished for a genius to whom I could devote myself. Exactly 20 years later, when I needed him, he turned up - on a date arranged by a concerned workmate. He fell for me that evening, much to my surprise. Our married life involved an inordinate amount of devotion, regretted by neither of us, because we were soulmates, and absolutely ready for each other. The best thing he ever said to me was, 'I married you for your mind'. I can only say, with Jordan, work and suffer for what you want to see reflected back, and you will attract it to you.

[@brendalg4]

I am 58. I do all those things. No one shows interest in me. Not even as a friend.

[@charlottebruce979]

You've been lucky for some reason, I know lots of lovely people who are single because they have not been in the right place at the right time with the right person (yet!) Any way it's not that flattering if someone says they married you for your mind, especially if you met when you were young and should be giving off sexy and alluring vibes!!

[@charlottebruce979]

@@brendalg4 I feel like that sometimes, we all do, I'm sure you are a lovely person and would make a great friend and partner

[@yanise1625]

​@@charlottebruce979 It's totally flattering because at the end of the day we all want someone to love us for who we are inside - the pieces and areas not everyone can see. Otherwise, you will end up with a man that marries you because you are a fine piece of ass, which will then leave you for a finer piece of ass. Real intelligent women are hard to please and they don't want a guy that will marry them because you are sexy or alluring. That's what airheads do.

[@rosemaryallen2128]

@@charlottebruce979 Firstly, I was two years off 40. Secondly, as I said, I married a genius, a creative inventor who saved the UK government millions. You won't feel any better for denigrating other people, you know.

[@Zm54321]

Did you catch the part when he said “delayed gratification”? That alone makes up about 80% of a man’s quality. That what makes him stop playing around and jumping from a girl to another as soon as she gives in to him.

[@natibelfortunato6879]

YES. this.

[@SA-ey6nt]

Discipline. Freedom without discipline is dangerous.

[@snoozyq9576]

Lol no we totally missed that thank goodness someone pointed it out 😏

[@lous6938]

I assure you he did not only mean physical intimacy.

[@trudyseeker3550]

Yes we waited till marriage this time we were in our 50 s xxx

[@vhayashi7369]

That is true but when we offer everything to the wrong person our whole life gets destroyed. Now it's about being careful who we invest in.

[@IamHueGraves]

There's still growing to do if you're picking the wrong people

[@dianaford7635]

The advice he’s giving is designed to help one eliminate the potentially suitable partners from the others that have no appreciation for the kind of healthy, Loving relationship which he is describing. Like he said so perfectly in the beginning: “That’s putting the cart ahead of the horse”. The question we should be asking is HOW DO I MAKE MYSELF THE PERFECT DATE? Then work on becoming that person and you’d be surprised at all the eligible potential candidates that your likely to find. There’s always gonna be the losers and creepers that try preying their way in to take you for granted or take advantage of someone but you’ll notice it right away by practicing what JP is saying. Plus they won’t want to stick around anyway because you’re not that kind of a person anymore. It’s time true advice and it works if you do it right.

[@dianaford7635]

@@IamHueGraves This sadly does happen and it’s unfortunate, however, the advice that JP is giving is essentially designed to weed out the wrong person by way of setting higher standards not just for the other person but for yourself as well. Sometimes you have to kiss a few toads 🐸 before you find your prince, or princess. But by utilizing his brilliant yet simple advice, your more likely to achieve this goal much easier and sooner as opposed to wasting time on the wrong ones. You’ll find out how quickly your not willing to waste your time on the toads and you’ll be able to spot them pretty quickly. It’s actually age old advice and it really does work. “Thank you JP as always for your life advice.”

[@LiveHappy76]

@@IamHueGraves There are many out there who think, act and profess themselves to be suitable to great partners but who are not -professed through lying and deceit, sometimes self-deceit (they, and others around them, are not aware of their own relationship-wrecking flaws). I've lived what I just wrote. The main "growth" I need to make is to learn not to be deceived by the very convincing fakes all around...or just plain get lucky to match with a truly good person and partner. The more honest and integrous a person is, the harder it can be to identify the fakes because I/we simply are not used to and don't operate with lying, faking, deceit and self-deceit. Someone who has lied and hurt other people a little more but is done with that crap is better going to identify the fakes and frauds. And fakes/frauds, especially the more narcissistic, will pour onto the genuinely good people, doubling their efforts to get.

[@IamHueGraves]

@@LiveHappy76 I'm not sure I agree with that since lying is the easy default you have to fight against to be truly integrous. It's hard to find someone too innocent to lie, they're usually more scared or repressed than honest

[@kotanamoon9212]

This man is a legend His wisdom Heals A very rear human being He is one of a kind A very rear empath. Every life matters. Much Love Mr J Paterson Its a pleasure to listen too

[@sydneys6024]

As a women I thought this exact thing when I met my man because I knew he was worthy of the best. How can I be the best parter or my person and I swear it has changed me. I stopped waiting for someone to come along and fix me and put in the work myself. I still have a long way to go but the progress does not go unnoticed.

[@ncmtnbarbie]

This is so true. Both my fiance and I have been doing this. BEING the person that we want the other to be. It saved us.

[@rubyred794]

Oh my, I love this answer.. CLEAN! Yes men please take this seriously. I love how he put that fact first..

[@wolflesschild]

I just recently learned 52% of men dont wash theyre ass, and i never needed affirmation on how hetero i am. 🤮

[@mywifesboyfriend5558]

Women more so.

[@Elizabeth-dx3cm]

Man of wisdom, thanks for sharing Love,Elizabeth

[@INFJ2]

A good heart. Loving. Supportive. Ethical. Empathic. God in his heart. Loyal. Honest. I have so much love to give and no one to give it to.

[@LornaYoung-b4u]

My job was working with psychitrists. This guy is so refreshing!!!!

[@aw8674]

Jordan's words are so incredible for our growth as a human.

[@onlyjazztoday]

Don’t tell people, ‘You’re okay the way that you are.’ That’s not the right story. The right story is, ‘You’re way less than you could be.'😎👍

[@kathleenohara6152]

😁👍👍

[@mywifesboyfriend5558]

Someone has to clean the toilets.

[@crazymodels]

Jordan peterson is that dad that everybody wants guiding their life

[@KomalSingh-cm8gc]

*the harder you work on offering other people what they need and want,the more people will line up to play with you *.damn right.

[@propixelpower]

This man is a one of a kind genius. Thank God that I found him and his wisdom sooner rather than later

[@project0332]

This man is a gem 💎 to this world

[@darklightmagus1222]

My advice is: 1) Stop actively looking. Searching will blind you from what is in front of you. You will eventually meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with simply by doing your hobbies. 2) Become desirable. Exactly what this short video says. Strive to be the perfect person for someone else. 3) There is no shame in finding that person late in life. The fact each of you has a few years left should make it so that you'd want to spend them as much as possible loving each other.

[@sudan_unhrc3037]

Although it is impractical if one just wants to find a partner, I think the true love of your life is the one who loves you as you are.

[@RyanCatunto]

while that may be true its wildly unrealistic in most cases

[@mjwells100]

Jordan Peterson’s answer was brilliant, and it radiates with truth. This man is truly a treasure, and we would be wise to listen to him.

[@Slippywenwet]

When I knew I had the one: Only needed a picture to fall in love. We would fall asleep late at night on the phone, but pick up the conversation when we woke up. Could tell her everything. She became by best friend. I paid more attention to her family over just her. Went completely traditional route, dated for 4 years, moved in together, asked her dad for her hand, had a child, bought a house, finished school, had another child, started our careers, and then had our son. 13 years later and still going. Men, build yourself to be the version of man that she needs and wants. Take your time, understand perspectives, don’t fight, don’t cheat…. You will land the one.

[@Jmam1509]

I didn't phrase this exactly the same way but adopted a very similar mindset and it's going well.

[@xun4314]

Such a simple thing that we humans forget to do or tend to overlook! ❤

[@WoutMusic]

Yeah, i did that, but still i feel attracted to women that Arent treating me how i wished to be treated. So currently thats my new goal. Feeling worthy of a good woman that meets my criteria :)

[@DrDomich]

You've become addicted to the emotion that made you feel worthless - that made you chase validation. It's good you've become worthy of someone good and it's good you're setting up a new emotional goal now. It's a natural process, and you seem to be on the right way.

[@Guardia.168]

What a holy man ! Thanks God for leading em to know him and learn so much wise words and his wide healing and psychological knowledge ❤🙏🙏🙏Thank You All for your efforts to spread his words to the world

[@savageking3907]

most important part is doing it for yourselves and not for the acceptance or praise of others. When your life for other people, you are at the mercy of their thoughts and opinions.

[@Siamesebutter]

the more you know yourself the easier it is to find the right person.

[@truthfulpatriot9129]

self Love first then you can Love someone Next…

[@gotama570]

How that works?

[@zeroch1ll150]

Not true, not one of the things he said mentioned self love.

[@annarodriguez9868]

@@zeroch1ll150 Self love means caring for yourself and becoming the best person you can be. Then at least you have something good to offer to the world in general. Why do we bathe and use deodorant? Remember the first time as a kid that you were aware that you had BO? You were afraid to let anyone get close. You wanted to be liked and not be shunned. That's self love in a nutshell.

[@Koheleth]

@@zeroch1ll150 ; Self love, is taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. The only thing he didn't mention, was Spiritually. Being healthy, productive, honest, generous, and delaying self gratification. Is ALL self love.

[@chimayoshite]

💯

[@Lee137able]

Amber Heard's ego disagrees.

[@Danvdberg]

What part do you disagree with ?

[@harambe855]

@@Danvdberg Amber Heard

[@shahidalikhan8619]

It's the story of majority of women. The system is against dating and marriage union.

[@amberwinterbottom7792]

🤣🤣🤣 internets winning comment

[@roza_rose2230]

@@Danvdberg you clearly read his comment the wrong way he is talking about amber Heard remember her? Johnny ex crazy wife?

[@phil9593]

I don't always agree with Mr Peterson, but I always find him interesting. This little clip is excellent.

[@webyankee6558]

Jordan's answer is so incredible that I am for lack of words to give a retort, just do what he said.

[@douglastaylorbud1356]

Thank you, Dr Peterson. You're a badass! Job well done keep up the good work. Carry on, soldier!

[@maiduhs9614]

"The harder you work on offering other people what they need and want the more people will line up to play with you" 🤔

[@KomalSingh-cm8gc]

exactly.predatory nature

[@aidabarreto9299]

Know yourself, what will bring you fulfillment in a relationship, be realistic thou, we are not perfect, there will be some drawbacks, but the traits, likes, you looking for are present in this other person.

[@CrownEducationalServicesIntl]

I’ve never seen him smile- it’s endearing

[@daithiocinnsealach1982]

Confident, assertive, well mannered,well spoken, intelligent, kind, good looking, healthy, young, wealthy. Basically the more boxes you can tick off the better your chances. You can make up for one deficit by enhancing or emphasizing a quality. But confidence is huge. He speaks about seratonin levels in another videos. Quiet confidence. So important.

[@wesleyem3]

I wish I had someone tell me this when I was younger. I didn't know what I wanted or who I even was. It led me down a cringy and awkward path, just assuming I'd find a girl who would fawn over me no matter what.

[@rachel14rod]

Don't beat yourself up over what you didn't know. Even us women didn't know any better. Self care is a game changer. It changes mindset and behaviour as well.

[@YasminMahnaz]

Were you hot? Good looking? Attractive? Did girls fawn over your generally is that why u thought that way or was it your mother that fussed over u..Making un think that girls would do the same ? Or were u awkward and ppl thought uwere strange ? Skinny long or pudgy or so so average looking? Context.. we need more info! Did u fugue it put?

[@SA-ey6nt]

We live and we learn, baby

[@wesleyem3]

@@rachel14rod thank you ma'am 🥹❤️

[@mikewaite4002]

Clean 💯

[@bilalu.9149]

The "funny" thing about this is that even if you have these characteristics, this doesn't guarantee you to get the partner you want or any partner. I know many people that are not clean, not honest, not in so physically good shape and still, they got more girls than the ones who are. You ask why? Well idk, but what I know is that the world is unfair.

[@Sunshine4]

This. Improve yourself because of you. You may or may not find love, nothing is guaranteed even if you follow the best advice to a “T”

[@AngelHowe-j8j]

I love this man he is just the greatest thing is sweet compassionate and it's helping me so much in life my love is honesty and how sincere he is his wife is one lucky lady

[@freshprince_7676]

I know everybody knows this, but this man is well articulated, the way he constructs his explanations is crazy🔥🔥🥵

[@jJust_NO_]

as a woman i asked that.. and my mind answered, even gave me the perfect script. it played out a cute woman persona with a kinky fetish lol

[@GrubKiller436]

What

[@tonioene2262]

I think that many men would agree. 😂🤣

[@itsourlife]

Nobody wants to work on themselves yet they expect a perfect partner. Really?

[@ashresearcher]

You can have ALL of that and if you’re not “confident” enough, they still don’t like you. Fuck life. So much pressure I feel as a man

[@fionam3735]

His advice is spot on. Too many of us want want want but don’t think about what we are giving

[@Jhonny217]

Me and my wife have passion.. Im into sports rolleblade skating sbowboard and i love videogame cooking and soo on... My wife loves to draw paint etc she an artist.. We both have passion and thats what make us strong... We love each others and we love ourself too... It is all important to find a balance within yourself and your partner.. And we both try to share our passion she started skaboarding at 36 lol just for the fun and hang with me and i try to sit down with her and do some drawing or coloring inside books!!!! Its been 3 years im with her and yo be honest its the best relationship ive been into shes the greatest stepmother the best friend i have.. And mostly time just fly by easily with her!!

[@elizabethfindlay5752]

Codependents!!Listen up, careful about doing everything for your partner cause you MAY attract a narcissist if you're not aware that the narcissist picks ppl who will give *And * not expect anything back. Learn your own boundaries!! Don't let others plow them down.

[@monicalillis3294]

Well he is gorgeous, intelligent, interesting, sensitive, moral 😍 🦄

[@SmokeSAS]

The best piece of advice i got was from my dad. "Son, I have a friend who lives in his car, works at IHOP for minimum wage, doesn't brush his teeth, and asks his mom for money every month. This man, this boy rather, has a smoking hot girlfriend who's very successful. If that dude can get a girlfriend, ill be damned if you didn't get one." Absolutely hilarious, boosted my confidence off the charts lol

[@rarebird_82]

Amazing how low womens standards can slip 🤭

[@sweswirl7455]

The amount of profoundly impactful advice that this man has offered the world on how to conduct oneself to lead a better life is simply astounding. I honestly don’t know where I’d be in my life without this man. I can’t begin to express how grateful I am for your intellectual generosity. Thank you, JP.

[@heartwisdomlove]

yeah, give people exactly what they want and then they take advantage of you for loving them completely I tried this experiment, five times ! same results I learned from my mother ! how to give your all to a man, and then it nearly kills you great advice!!!!!

[@ladymarycrawley6613]

Change begins with you!

[@mywifesboyfriend5558]

Not always.

[@samappleby1297]

Avoid narcissists. From experience after that it’s a bonus

[@samappleby1297]

It wasn’t. It was great until the end when she left and then it was like falling off a cliff.

[@Platypus2062]

He forgot kind. All of the criteria mean nothing if the partner is not kind.

[@cassandrareedy7369]

I totally agree! Kindness is a trait that is often overlooked and underappreciated. Without it disagreement becomes argument or even cruelty.

[@zackv3957]

"Be distinguished and present distinguished. Be interesting and present yourself strongly. Become whole and whether or not love is easy to find won't matter anymore."

[@penniroyal4398]

Become the person that will attract the person you want! So simple to say but not so simple to become.

[@robking6137]

The more I made myself that person, the more I was taken advantage of, used and heartbroken. I've lost literally everything several times in my life by devoting myself to women that I THOUGHT were good women.

[@sparrowhawk5673]

Tried getting them from a church before?

[@dvdddd1924]

Dont deviate to being an incel

[@robking6137]

@@sparrowhawk5673 yes. 1st wife was from church. Turned out to be certified

[@robking6137]

@@dvdddd1924 I'm still me regardless. Hearts been ripped out stomped on and broken but it still works.

[@cassandrareedy7369]

Being taken advantage of and used feels good when it's towards a mutual goal. In fact, if my partner DOESN'T take advantage of my love and use me to further our lives I feel useless and like my love is disadvantageous. This is a paradoxical because of the negative aspects of use and advantage as you experienced with greed and callousness. My advice: keep being that loving and devoted person you are! Then, even if single, you will be in the best of company. 🍀

[@SilverPonyKat]

Would You date someone like You right now? If the answer is No, then obviously you need to work on some things.

[@Robertmartines]

And again with the “you’ve asked the wrong question” YES…!! Ask better questions, G’damn-it!! And if you can’t figure out what questions to ask listen to JP for a while.

[@anitapetrou1925]

How beautifully articulated … he had me chuckling at the ‘abyss’ remark!

[@guzmaynard8768]

The qualities you want in your partner are the qualities you have to embody first, authentically, by yourself. When you are a vibrational match to what you want it will come to you, no chasing