The Single Lady Onscreen - Why singledom is in fashion

Are we finally moving into a new age where the single lady is aspirational? Being single has always carried a greater shame for women than for men, but the single lady onscreen today is defined by a newfound freedom and excitement. She’s single, promiscuous, and proud of it. While she may still have her challenges, the single lady has come a long way from being shunned, to being celebrated.
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We are The Take (formerly ScreenPrism).
00:00 What do single ladies look like today?
02:00 How societies view of single women has shifted
05:49 Being single can actually be empowering
08:49 Does staying single have to be a bad thing?
12:10 Today's single lady revolution

[@JJ-xs9me]

I have a single Aunt in her 50s. She's never lonely cause she's always doing new jobs, lives in the city, loves her family, has great friends and a chocolate poodle. Having her in my life as a kid made me feel like being single isn't a lonely existence when you focus on your happiness.

[@nation360bd]

Good for her

[@trinaq]

That's wonderful, she sounds like an inspirational lady, that's for sure.

[@raisyrosye7656]

Aww, I'm happy for her.

[@nilampandey4430]

Sounds like icon

[@Luciphell]

Sounds like bullshit. Wonder what the woman herself would say.

[@meganjeffrey6207]

Being single is only acceptable for a woman if you are still also actively dating. If you're just living your life and have no interest in dating, people still look sideways at you

[@ProductBae]

You can say that again smh

[@carloszapata847]

I am curious how many researches based on single and married women are complicated by the fact that both heterosexual and homosexual couples who are unmarried are still technically "single".

[@kattodoggo3868]

@@carloszapata847 if you're in a relationship of any kind then you're not single. I think women in a relationship were excluded from that study.i gave up. I think they lumped women in casual relationship with these being unmarried but considering that unmarried couples are less happy than married ones, women are probably even more miserable in casual relationship

[@leilamaach5229]

Yep you just said facts! This shows how we're still under the influence of the madonna/whore complex. If you're single because you prefer having casual sex partners you're promiscuous, but if you're single and not interested in being involved with anyone you're a prude or a man-hater.

[@laurawestenra]

It's heard for me to understand, especially when relationships with men mean a lot of extra housework, poor conversation, a lot of emotional stres, and having to be constantly be worried about how you look, having to pretend to be interested in sports or star wars for them to spend any time with you. It takes up so much much of your time and headspace without them giving much in return. Obviously, it depends on the man, I'm speaking generally.

[@leilamaach5229]

The fact that we're already categorising a teenager like Maeve Wiley as a "single lady" scares me. She' literally 16-17, there are plenty of people who never had a relationship or any sexual experience at that age.

[@Pistachios36]

Yeah I found that example odd. Like that's not why she was different! Most of those kids were single lol

[@mmps18]

Agreed!

[@natashafigueroa9198]

It is indeed scary, but I get it. When I was in high school, everyone was obsessed with pairing up, probably whether or not they cared to. Basic peer pressure. It's fucked up.

[@birdiewolf3497]

Right?? Them including characters that are literally teenagers in this was extremely odd to me. The single lady is literally a trope about women 30+. Why we would use the relationship statuses of teenagers to evaluate this trope is nonsensical. Kids being single or paired up means nothing.

[@vincentcerasoli5969]

Its all setup to be really confusing because those characters are played by actors and actresses in their mid to late 20s.

[@UnboxingAlyss]

Single 36 year old black woman here. I'm glad they are turning away from the "spinster" trope and seeing single women in a more positive light. That is important for those who want to remain single, as well as those who are trying to find someone. I do agree that finding peace within yourself is most important. I do wish so many single narratives didn't focus on promiscuity. Thera are quite a few of us who couldn't care less about sex.

[@patriciaa4451]

Ikr?

[@angelaholmes8888]

Yeah I hate that shows and movies depict single women as promiscuous when in real life some single women are not like that I'm definitely am not

[@LisaF777]

Why did you specify that you are black? I'm curious

[@grazielaalmeida8438]

I care about sex, but I hate hookup culture, it gives and incredible power to promiscuous men that try to coerse young women to have casual sex, take advantage of their bodies and after say that they don't want to a relationship with these women becouse they are easy.

[@Sweet_Dee]

I appreciate hearing that other single women are just chilling and living their lives! I'm only 24 but I'm the single friend to a lot of serious couples, and I'm about to be a bridesmaid 10,000 times lol. Sometimes I feel a little like the odd one out, wanting something different than the people around me. I'm just not super interested in dating and/or sex right now. Is that so crazy?

[@lisameeks4964]

It took me far too long to realize that I just don't like being part of a couple. I actually like being alone. I can go for an entire weekend without talking to a single person and not care. I spent most of my life fighting against what made me really happy in order to fit in and appear "normal". I finally just got tired of it all and gradually learned to accept myself. I love the life I'm living now. I may spend a lot of my life alone, but I'm never, ever lonely.

[@rightweaponry908]

Ugh i feel the same way and it's soo hard not to feel bullied into thinking you are sad or lonely or weird because other people cant comprehend enjoying solitude. I realized almost everything in society is geared towards extroverts and aggressively outgoing people. Once i realized that introverts are always having to pretend to be extroverts to appear "normal" i also realized how much it takes a toll on me.

[@RenatoKestener]

I totally understand that. What is funny is that being single actually makes me feel way less lonely than in quite a few relationships that I had.

[@lisameeks4964]

@@RenatoKestener Oh ! I know exactly what you mean. Maybe I expect too much from people. I don't know. I just got tired of feeling constantly not good enough. It's tiring and depressing. When I decided to stop dating, it's like a huge weight was lifted. I don't think I ever as happy as I've been the last few years.

[@michellearzu1265]

My nephew chose me as the person he admired the most when he was 17 for a high school project because his single aunt "plays video games, does martial arts, and travels around the world." I was also once at a show that served dinner first, and I could only see the silhouette of the couple in front of me while having dinner. He had his hand on the table, and she reached for it, and I thought, "well, it would be nice having a partner for that kind of mome--" the guy snatched his hand away and left hers all alone on the table, "or maybe not..."

[@riotgrrrl8807]

Relationships don't have to be that way, though.

[@theincredibleknuffibar4834]

You sound cool

[@rightweaponry908]

When you actually look at the statistics of intimate partner violence committed against women, not one woman alive should ever need to explain or justify being single to anyone anywhere ever. period.

[@wrendum286]

true

[@emilymatthews2990]

That is part of why I turned to Female Separatism. Why bother when I am likely to end up trapped and dead anyway?

[@eliza6971]

Let’s normalize “single” as *not* being the same as “available”

[@PokhrajRoy.]

I was always repulsed by the whole “Single ladies are sad people who adopt cats” bit in movies and TV. Do single people have no right to be fulfilled by themselves?

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Plus cats aren't so needy

[@louise-yo7kz]

That's just hateration. Being single, is fine as long as you're happy.

[@delusionalmilkshake]

I always seen that more of insult to men than women. Some woman out there thought and decided that cat is better company than a man.

[@JJ_Magnificent]

Cat > Man

[@nerdonthepayroll]

I have a friend who is married, but also a workaholic who has like a million cats 😂 Recently her husband decided to take up part time college course because he has a lot of spare time, as she’s usually working late and on weekends (even though she technically doesn’t really have to).

[@hellund2874]

I wish they would include more stories about friendships and truly (!) platonic relationships in the media. It feels like every deep meaningful relationship has to be romantically coded.

[@jaimicottrill2831]

Its slowly getting better! There are a few tv shows and movies where they are true friends-no romances. Brooklyn 99 has several examples, Elementary, Harry Potter, Bridge to Terabithia, Buffy, Firefly etc. There's not a huge amount yet, but we're getting there!

[@detectivedaffodil437]

i guess it makes it more entertaining

[@mikemorro140]

@@jaimicottrill2831 most of those examples are decades old

[@miastclaire]

Frances Ha is a good example!!

[@randomthoughtsofaunistudent]

I think the half of it shows a great platonic friendship between the main characters and criminal minds between Morgan and Garcia

[@GinervaWeasleyPotter]

I’ve been single all my life (26). Never felt the need for a hookup or to go dating or anything. I’ve had crushed on people and found people attractive, but I’ve never been bothered enough to go that extra step forward. I have way higher priorities in my life than being in and maintaining a romantic relationship. The main reason I’d ever consider a romantic relationship is because I want kids someday, but I want kids more than I want a partner, so I might just do it alone. It’s just personal preference.

[@sonchik6324]

>I want kids more than I want a partner That hits close to home! Main reason why I’m planning to adopt in the future

[@farihazultana]

I believed same as you but then all of a sudden someone came and pretended to liking me and impressing me fraudulently but he was all about cum, he had no feelings and he kept lying about he talked about me to his parents. I understood all these when he couldn’t talk over phone when he’s in home! Even he tried to take chance with one of my friends even before me, I gotta know later. Now I only regret why did I give him any chance but I tried to make him understand to keep it to just friendship but he was the one neglecting to understand instead he made me understand to give him a chance and now I see I was always correct about being single, on my own and relaxed by myself! Now Im back to previous cool life again😊

[@jpatrenz95]

Same, I'm 27 and I literally want kids someday but I don't see myself falling for someone to call a husband. I date but never went far enough to be boyfriends because I get bored. Like I get tired of the dudes I'm seeing. But I guess no one has swept me off my feet yet

[@bodhisattva2348]

@@ophelia.7 y can't u accept the fact that this person is happy

[@deba6468]

The last part speaks to me. I have always thought of having kids, but most of the time i didn't think of having a partner and when i thought of marrying someone and having kids with them it felt wrong in a way. I dont want to have a relationship, i dont know if i will want it in the future. Im 23 and have always been single. Since i dont want a relationship now i can only imagine adopting a child in the future. Everyone constantly tells you a relationship is a necessity but i dont see it. I have never needed to be with a partner and im happy with my life. We can fulfill our lives in so many other ways.

[@eugeniaagnesrombelayuk1789]

My sister is always surprised when I remind her that I neither want to marry nor having children. I only had a partner once who was a sweetheart but he added so much unnecessary drama into my already chaotic life. After I broke up with him, I have become much happier. And so, with me being perfectly content on my own, why would I ruin that with being with someone else?

[@jenniferbullett7254]

People in relationships or married have a hard time understanding single people and how we live. Maybe they're curious or envy of us. Who knows. Just enjoy your life as you please and never please anyone else. 🌺

[@patriciaa4451]

I'm a 30 year old asexual, biromantic, single, childfree, cat mum. It's freeing to be able to make my own major life decisions without consulting another person. If I want to go out to dinner to a specific restaurant or travel I can basically just walk out the door. I might 'settle down' in my 40s but it's not a goal. It can get boring sometimes but that's when bring out the cat toys and make my fluffy boy run around my two bedroom apartment (the second one is for the cat and my clothes). The biological clock is a lie. Don't fall for it.

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

Don't delude yourself. Find a man and get married. Leave the idiotic feminist/woke beliefs behind with all the other bad ideas of youth.

[@velikoslovog7526]

Statistically speaking it's far more likely you'll be unhappy if you're alone at age 40 but there are exceptions of course.

[@patriciaa4451]

@@velikoslovog7526 That is inaccurate. Studies show that single women are happier than married women. On the other hand, married men are found to be happier that single men. It sounds to me like they need us more than we need them.

[@patriciaa4451]

@@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017 Ok boomer

[@velikoslovog7526]

@@patriciaa4451 ahaaa, a feminist. Good luck in life, you're gonna need it.

[@dummy5719]

My grandma is in her 70s and she has been single ever since I've known her. . Her husband left her when my father was born. She tried to date a few times but she decided that she's happier without a man on her side. I love her, she is a very cool grandma^^ We see each other a lot and she often meets with friends. She is just enjoying life at its fullest!

[@jenniferbullett7254]

Way to go Grandma!!!! Kudos to her. 🌺

[@katherineheasley6196]

I'm single at 48 because I just never met the right person. I really struggled with it for many years, but now, I'm content. I've got a great job and a fulfilling life. I'm open to meeting someone, but he'd better be really great, because I won't give up my quiet evenings for just anyone.

[@kattodoggo3868]

Good for you. Make sure you have great friends around you.

[@detectivedaffodil437]

Yeah in a similar situation. Sometimes you're single simply because you didn't meet someone you vibe with.

[@Pretzelgal]

Hear, hear!👍

[@jenniferbullett7254]

It's better to be single than to be in a relationship miserable, wishing you were single. Enjoy your singlehood. 🌺

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

@Katherine Heasley -- I feel ya. Single because I got out of a longterm abusive relationship. Resisted a few offers that weren't right for me, despite the loneliness whispering in my ear. Taking care of my health and healing atm, and someday, I do want to be in a relationship again. But if it's not going to be something that *adds* to my life instead of subtracting from my very person, then wth is the point? My friends and therapist have been my sanity-savers in the meantime, before and especially after the Covid 'Time of Isolation' lockdown hit.

[@salamander8301]

having a drink with my boss, a successful single woman in her 40s and we could see this couple arguing. the woman looked exasperated and the man seemed drunk and beligerant. They went at it untill he walked off drunk and drove away. leaving his girlfriend alone and miserable. my boss turned to me and said, thank god I'm single....

[@gbear2253]

I’ve been in a couple of relationships! The anger those guys caused me, I’m glad I’m single now. I’ve never been abused nor a victim. The fights, though, were enough for me to call it a quits! Now I’m single, happy, free, and have peace of mind 😊! I’m not saying all relationships are bad, but it’s just much better for me to be single

[@greywolf7577]

I find it ironic how you describe the woman as "exasperated" and the man as "belligerent". It sounds like they were acting in the same way, but you just saw the man in more negative terms.

[@barefootedbougie]

@@greywolf7577 Or he was belligerent because he was DRUNK hence her exasperation?

[@salamander8301]

@@greywolf7577 yeah I just hate men so much that I have the audacity to perceive a man who was arguing with his girlfriend and drink driving 'berligerent' yes, must be that raging misandry.

[@Thrill_Hou]

The arguing couple probably smashed later that night.

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

I'm single, in my 30s, and love it! I never want to get married or have children. But people seem to think that if you can't get with marriage and children, you haven't "grown up" or you're "being selfish". I think to come to a very firm conclusion, and not to bring a child in the world when I don't want one, is actually a very responsible grown up decision and far more selfless.

[@aycaaltay9929]

I'm really done and kind of sick with career-driven, successful women or hypersexual larger-than-life women as the only alternatives for the happily married homemaker. Like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock or Ally McBeal or Samantha from Sex and the City. It gives the message of "You need to compensate the lack of a man in your life. You need something to show for it, you need an alternative to fill your life with". I want to see the inner charm of the mundane, just-average women, stuck and incapable, not thriving at anything else, tempted to try too hard, but still being valuable, deserving respect, being happy with themselves and not being the butt of the jokes. Kind of like Justine from Superstore.

[@GLADGC]

You may like Fleabag!, such a good character.

[@Arekushisukun]

THIS is the comment I was looking for. You just can be a simple person who is not interested in sex, partners, children or a super carreer and be completely happy.

[@mcgil8891]

This!!!!

[@MnMsandOreos]

Golden Girls was an awesome representation of being happy while single. They found each other and that relationship is more important than any of the men they dated

[@elinaihnatsiuk]

I am a little bit upset that the perspective of the video seems to be that being single equals to going on dates/hooking up just without an expectation or desire of settling down. I personally wouldn't call it being single. In my case single is not looking and being content by living alone and going through life alone without a multitude of sexual partners that you can talk to others about. In my opinion, the situation of casual dating and one night stands is extremely accepted right now. While not looking for a partner is still frowned upon. That's why although I see what the video was trying to say, there is a large opportunity that has been missed.

[@LoneLoboX88]

For somebody who's not seeking validation from another person, you aromatics really try for the limelight.

[@kattodoggo3868]

@@LoneLoboX88 she didn't say she's aromantic. Just not into hookup cloture

[@elinaihnatsiuk]

@@LoneLoboX88 I am not saying the video should only include my perspective, I am simply saying that this perspective also should have been mentioned.

[@thequickbrownfox7604]

You know, you can do that without putting down people who are single and DO like hookups.

[@wmurd]

@@thequickbrownfox7604 somehow I never saw hooking up as being single - a person is still involved in sexual and romantic relationships - it is relationships! just not the trad committed way - still relationships though

[@mariaschukariova3438]

I don't get, why singleness used to be described and portrayed as something horrible and the definite sign of woman's unhappiness, if the married women can be equally unhappy and unsatisfied with their lives. In Russia we say "Getting married is not a big deal, more important is not to regret afterwards"

[@swatisaini6447]

💯💯💯

[@natalyamartirosyan]

Absolutely. I grew up in post soviet area and hardly ever saw a happy marriage.

[@mariaschukariova3438]

@@natalyamartirosyan it's sad to hear that you didn't see happy marriages. Although love is not equal to the marriage

[@natalyamartirosyan]

@@mariaschukariova3438 I said that I hardly ever saw happy marriages. And I was backing your thought that marriage doesn’t equal happiness.

[@ropesanddragoneggs8494]

It’s based on an archaic idea that women could only live fulfilling lives if they married bc we didn’t have rights way back when. We’ve come so far since that time but the idea that being a woman over 30 and single is undesirable is still ingrained in our culture

[@caitedavis4671]

I’m almost 37 and have been single my entire adult life. I don’t have a biological clock and I don’t date. people always look at me like I have seven heads, always asking me ‘don’t you want to be happy?’ It’s usually asked by someone who is cheating on their significant other 😑

[@jenniferbullett7254]

Ugh, society thinks that having someone else in your life will eventually make a person happy. 😬😩😀🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ Enjoy your singlehood. 🌺

[@saintsaens21]

It's really not that unusual anymore. Half of my office is single and nobody cares.

[@trinaq]

I love that more works are portraying Single Ladies in a more positive light, and they're not doomed to be alone forever just because they're not currently seeing anyone. Some people are simply content with their own company, or have yet to meet the right person.

[@Dm34421]

Exactly the spinster trope is so outdated. I'm glad more shows are portraying the nuances of single life

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

Luxury beliefs of the ruling class. They only hurt the rest of us. Marriage is the surest way to a stable, happy life.

[@avalonsignoraalmas6150]

@@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017, umm…no, it’s not. Even for middle and lower class women, marrIage can be a trap, or a draining experience. A lot of times, rich women have money to leave or prospects after marriage. Other women often can’t say the same.

[@akamego]

“Doomed to be alone forever…” I mean, I understand what you’re trying to say but using phrases like that plays into the very trope they’re talking out. The point is, alone forever is perfectly fine.

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

@@Dm34421 There are no nuances of single life for most people. They end up online, wasting their lives on social media like we are doing right now instead of raising kids and having skin in the game for the next generation.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Samantha Jones in ‘Sex and the City’ is someone I take notes from: Confidence, Biting Humour, being honest and curious. She was always happy to learn new terms. She didn’t have the vocabulary for but she was omnisexual (attraction to all people with a certain group taking precedence).

[@anushkaparashar5600]

Yess!!!! Samantha rocks and I aspire to be her

[@angelaholmes8888]

I love samantha for being so confident in her life and not conform to what others want

[@KaylaNoelle1]

She was a really good friend too

[@natalianat9105]

My queen Samantha 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

I’m in a relationship but I have a lot of respect for single women who are living a happy and fulfilling life. For so long, society tried to shame single women especially older single women but now women have the choice to stay single. Not every woman wants to get married and have children and not all single women are miserable without a man.

[@lstarsabb]

Yes or plotting to take taken men. That one really irks me.

[@gbear2253]

Pretty Princess Thank You 🙏!! It’s very sweet for a woman that’s in a relationship not to criticize us single women. I love it when people are in happy relationships!! And I love it when couples have babies 👶!! But if a person is single and has no kids, I just don’t understand why society frowns on them!

[@lstarsabb]

@@gbear2253 Because it proves to this little men that we don't need them for our survival and this pick me's how stupid they are for dumbing themselves down to get a man. But I've like you if like it I love, but that's not the life for me.

[@JinxSanity]

I'll like to count the recent Disney female characters as also being single and being happy staying that way, aside from Elsa you got Raya, Moana, Merida, Mirabel, Dory, Judy Hops and Riley from Inside Out. All great examples of a single character that it's Not define by a tired clique romance story or a Romantic interest.

[@petraw9792]

Raya would be debatable since it's heavily implied that Namaari is a love interest. I agree with you in general, though, and maybe you'd like to pick Sisu for this list. ;)

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

Dory also debatable, since it's unclear if her and Marlin are romantic or platonic life partners at the end of Finding Nemo. She does go to live with / near them. . Elsa also debatable, since we don't know her entire life but we do know as a ruling monarch, she'd be expected to produce an heir. It's not clear if she's interested in finding a romantic partner now that she's not mired in trauma or if she intends to make her sister and the children she may have with Kristoff her heir(s).

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

@@petraw9792 It's implied by the audience and the voice actors because no one ever thinks to themselves "Hey, someone could be friends and NOT want a romantic relationship with someone".

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

@@iprobablyforgotsomething Elsa isn't debatable. She is not interested in romance. Her movies end with her not pursuing romance, love, or a partner. Why is it so hard to see single characters who are happy when they are literally just that? It doesn't matter where she goes in the future, anything can change with any character in the future. As of now, it isn't debatable that she's single, has shown no interest in romance, and seems content and happy to just focus on her sister's family and her kingdom.

[@bilge8656]

thank you so much for this video. I come from a culture where women are expected to aspire to marriage and no matter what they achieve in life, the accomplishments seem irrelevant as long the woman is single while it‘s perfectly fine for men to stay single

[@grazielaalmeida8438]

Actually, none of us are fullfield without family, this goes for men too, they build their carrers in order to find a wife, otherwise they gonna feel the sensation of unacomplished. I would like femminism to spread the message that women need men and men need women, we complient each other.

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I feel it is mainly because of our biological clock. We have a limited time to have a baby and that is it. But we have more things now. Donating sperm and eggs (but it is still a bog decision). Adoption, but that can be expensive too. If you want to have a kid, there are more options. For a guy, they never fully had to worry about how long they have for kids. Women have a shelf life because we are the ones carrying them.

[@user-ny1wo1vp9r]

@@grazielaalmeida8438 Wrong, no one 'needs' anyone in that sense. Some people find a sense of fulfillment in getting married and having a family, others don't, and find fulfillment on their own.

[@user-ny1wo1vp9r]

@@gabrielleduplessis7388 technically men have a biological clock too. Their fertility goes down in their forties and fifties, and the children of old fathers also have more serious risk of some disorders. However they never completely lose their ability to have kids unlike women.

[@grazielaalmeida8438]

@@user-ny1wo1vp9r I believe it, but most people only feel complety with a partner, others want to more than a partner they want to a family, very few people want to stay single, but they exist.

[@lisatejada9748]

Being single is a blessing. When you have the positive attitude about it and choose to live it out the best way possible. Being single has given me the liberty to seek my own validation and not others which is crucial to have a happy life.

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I am single almost by choice because a) the boys I like don’t like me and b) the boys that like me are the ones who may be either jerks, don’t understand boundaries, think they are dating me when we did not have that conversation, or the creepy men who are my father’s age trying to hit on me. Also, after all the horror stories that I heard about dating sites, it makes me scared to try it. While I do want to date, I am scared to. It is hard to find men (at least for me as an individual) who like me in a romantic way and/or respect my boundaries. I am also starting over with my new job so I am focusing on trying to financially support myself and move up before I date.

[@ladybug3380]

Being single is stress free, it’s that simple. Women are getting tired of being used in every way.

[@elizabethlovett4318]

I'm in my mid 30s and single. I love this video. I think society places too much value on a woman being in a relationship. I enjoy being single as much as being in a relationship. I think I enjoy being single more actually. I don't see anything wrong or weird about either. But I don't think society has progressed as much as it probably should have as far as our attachment to marriage. Divorce rates are still pretty high and many still marry too early or marry just to get marriage because of pressure or their fear of never marrying. I don't see anything wrong with marriage or weddings, but many women AND MEN are still unrealistic about both and focus on trivial things rather than the important things in a relationship. I personally don't intend to ever marry. I just want a meaningful, committed and monogamous relationship. I don't see marriage as necessary for that. I see more cons than pros really. But I very much want to be a mother though which again I don't marriage as a requirement for that. I kind of view it as an outdated, archaic transaction. IF I ever did marry, I would not take the man's name unless we both add the other's name to both of our names, and I'd prefer to just sign the papers than have a wedding. Our children would have both our names from birth or just mine because I'm the one who went through the labor.

[@susannairisastarte5192]

YES! 52 and I agree

[@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343]

They used to use the term spinster and old maid to define woman’s worth in the past if she wasn’t married. And now, a lot of us are done with that and are taking our power back.

[@LiiiiiiMa]

As an aromantic asexual, I feel like my community as a whole should take up more space in this discussion. There's a whole barage of aspec people out there who are sex-positive and single not by choice, but by nature.

[@everafter2611]

Single hood for black women is seen as 1. She is cursed to be unhappy, miserable and alone. 2. Her standards are too high 3. She's presented as unattractive. 4. She's rebellus 5. She loves herself too much. Why can't black women be single because she chooses to be, not because of these reasons? Believe it or not but there are black women who choose to be single despite being desiresble.

[@itsjustbrandy4290]

Alice from the live action movie had a great end too. She straight up told everyone she's better off single and focusing on her passions.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

I loved ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’ and yes, I recreate the ‘All By Myself’ Sequence at any given point but it did give us mixed messages on singledom.

[@saanasalonen8684]

it was like the only valid choice...

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

I am the same age as her in the movie and feel I entered my bad bitch era. Why she not a bad bitch?

[@PokhrajRoy.]

‘Grace and Frankie’ is one of the coolest shows out there. Thank you for the 7 Seasons! 👏🏽

[@jsoko7295]

I’m in a relationship but usually prefer being single. I adore my partner but I’d be equally happy alone. I’ve said this to a few friends and the response is always that I just haven’t found the right person yet and must not truly love my partner. No, I just love my freedom and alone time too! 😊

[@cristinarivera5707]

I don’t understand why single women are assumed unhappy. I grew up seeing women who were married and in long term relationships be absolutely miserable with their partners.

[@greywolf7577]

Were the husbands miserable with the wives too? Society focuses a lot on the stereotype of the unhappy wife, but doesn't really focus on the how the husband feels in these marriages.

[@cristinarivera5707]

@@greywolf7577 This video focuses on women and their relationship statuses. We’re not talking about men. Go search for a video about men in unhappy marriages. I’m sure there’s plenty of them.

[@salmabenhamida4570]

I'm 20 years old. I never dated in my life and I'm not about to start now. Because I am really not interested. Nothing about it attracts me tbh and never understood the appeal of it. If the right person comes sure why not, but until then no way.

[@marleneseibold8912]

I felt the same way, got peer pressured into a relationship, we broke up after 1 1/2 years. Wasn't a bad experience but I still don't see dating as something essential to my life... I'm still happier alone than in a relationship. What I mean to say: feel you, and don't feel pressured to be anything else than yourself :)

[@saanasalonen8684]

when i was younger i was chronically single and i never saw myself in a relationship. now ive been in a relationship for almost 9yrs BUT with my own rules. first get to know who you are on ur own terms and if you even want kids or marriage and get to know what that means to you. its not impossible to get married young and fast but you really have the odds against you then...

[@lucypreece7581]

I have a great aunt Irene who would be around 90 now I think and she has never married or had children and she always lived the fullest life. She kept working well after her retirement age and she would travel and have days with her friends and with family. My mum has always admired Irene for the life she lives and just for being who she was. It became a joke that Irene was always so busy doing this and that and travelling and all the billion things she does that you have to pin her down to see her. My mother has since moved to Spain but she and Irene exchange letters frequently. If in my life I end up in a position where a relationship with a significant other is not my life path I hope to live like my Auntie Irene.

[@gbear2253]

I LOVE being SINGLE!! I don’t want to deal with anyone’s in-laws, terrible choices of movies, music, wait on someone else to eat a meal, debts. I can’t do it! I love a bed all to myself to lay up, eat, and watch movies and all the junk tv I want! I work, make good money, i workout intensely. I love “me time” all the time so I don’t want a relationship ever. I’m so happy with how my life is and all I have 😄

[@crod9905]

I remember reading a book about dating and one of the passages that stuck with me is how society treats singleness like the white elephant gift. It's something we all try to actively avoid getting and when we do get it, we don't want it.

[@mulesalumina7220]

There are benefits and downsides to being single or being in a long-term relationship. That's life. I just wish women, in particular, weren't shamed (and at times, wouldn't shame each other for picking either). We live in an age now where we should be celebrating the fact that most women across the world have more freedom to opt out or in to marriage. Just mind your own business and live a life that works for you. And go to therapy to work through your issues!

[@kiandraplummer2095]

Yes, yes...the option is the whole point. Also, you have the right to change your mind. ;)

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

YES to both of you, 100%! Choice & the right to change your mind as you grow and your circumstances change.

[@magma4168]

I don't know if being single is the best state of all, but it's definitely better than being in a mediocre relationship.

[@graciousgrace7509]

Not the point at all

[@jenniferbullett7254]

Never let anyone hold the key to your happiness.

[@heyidaroo]

I never watched Frasier but I’m now realizing how much I identify with Roz from when I was single. I was always okay with my casual sex life, because I never did anything I deemed shameful (never cheated, never assaulted or abused anyone, I discussed and respected boundaries, and always used protection) (I never made marriage a goal, I just got purely lucky meeting my amazing fiancé)

[@chelsea7229]

Yeah I’m one of those gals who prefers to be single and has no intention of “settling down” with a partner. Not all of us want or need a man to be happy 🤷‍♀️

[@Pistachios36]

Loved this! I definitely needed this right now. Been freaking out a lot lately about still being single in my 30s

[@mulesalumina7220]

Glad to hear this video helped you feel better, Marie! Anything in particular that freaks you out about it? Do you feel everyone else's insecurities about your single status are rubbing off on you? I've found that hobbies, exploring your passions, regularly connecting with friends and family (I acknowledge it can't be in the same way as a lover) and doing deep introspection to understand yourself can help keep those feelings at bay and make you see finding love as a life experience rather than an end in itself. Gives it less power over you. Hope it gets better for you!!

[@hannahretel1073]

I was married for 18 years now happily single. In my observation men cheat and women hate their husbands, avoiding them as much as they can. Rare I see a partnership that I envy. I believe that there are far more couples that are made up of two lonely scared souls unwilling to go through life standing on their own two feet, keeping it safe in a compromised, lacklustre partnership

[@greywolf7577]

There are plenty of women who cheat and husbands who hate their wives, but likely you tend to focus on the opposite because you are a woman so you tend to sympathize more with other women even when they are the ones who caused the majority of the problems in the relationship.

[@saintsaens21]

Men cheat...with other women. Ergo, women cheat too.

[@sorafanchick]

Amatonormativity is what we are getting away from. This is living in a society that emphasizes romantic, monogamou, long-term relationship as the most valuable relationships. As an aromantic person myself with no interest in dating or marriage or children, I feel like there's this stigma surrounding the idea that a woman doesn't want those things. Yet, I still can enjoy sex without the need for a marriage. The worse part is when people think you SHOULD be paired with someone or that celebrities that are not dating somehow also should be dating someone in order to be "happy" (Even if they already are).

[@samlynx2016]

My favorite teacher was almost 60 when I graduated, she has never been married. She was engaged three times, over a decade between each time. Her first fiance was killed the week of their wedding, her second one cheated on her, and the last one, she broke up with because he wanted kids and she thought she was too old to have them. Over the course of a 30-odd year teaching career, she had over 200 kids. The whole time I was in highschool, she didn't date. She's one of the most amazing and inspirational women I know.

[@witchplease9695]

I’m a married 24 year old and whenever I hear of someone slightly younger than me getting married my immediate reaction is “What?? But they’re so young!!” And my husband gives me a funny look because we’re both in our mid 20s 😂 “My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude” is my favorite quote because the only reason I married was because I was lucky enough to meet someone sweeter than my solitude, who brings more peace and balance to my life, not disrupts it. My mother once said “only fall in love when you’re single and happy. When you’re sad, you’re desperate and will mistake anything different for happiness.” A (good) relationship is a luxury not a necessity, you don’t need a partner to be complete or have a fulfilled life, but if they happen to add more light to an already happy life, that’s a blessing to be embraced.

[@mirithilrose54]

Romantic relationships are often portrayed as the only ones that really matter, which is really sad.

[@Deroliebe]

I'm 33 and people are shocked that I'm not dating or at least having sex. I'm back in grad school, working for unpaid internships so that I can make a meaningful career after I graduate in two years. Then I have my hobbies (writing), exploring my city (museums, movies, parks, events) on top of trying to lose 50lbs (for my once, trim figure) - when would I even have time to devote to a person? I remember my last relationship... 10 years ago. I was with him from 18-23 and I remember that it was like having a part-time job on top of a full-time job. I had to forsake some hobbies in order to make time for him, work, the gym, and my friends. A relationship is at minimum, a 30-hour-a-week commitment and I just don't have that time. Even for casual encounters - you still need to meet them, make sure they're not a murderer or a freak that films you secretly when having sex. Basically, I have a lot on my plate and a lack of TIME. Sadly, I feel guilty or bad because people keep mentioning my biological clock (although I've never wanted kids) and saying things like "you're too old, no man wants a woman who hit the wall" - the last bit is an insulting term made by incel men to shame women for not sleeping with "nice guys." I know that and I'm still annoyed by it. Not to mention that I keep coming across videos that basically say marriage only benefits men (who cleans the house more? Women. Who does the laundry, cooking, child-rearing? Women.) And finally, I have yet to meet a man with my similar goals and ambitions that I'm attracted to and who I trust. So I stay single.

[@m.g.m.6408]

I just need to say that I follow this channel since it was called Screenprism and I love all of your videos. It’s the only channel that I’ve seen almost every video posted and I still can’t wait for the next one. Thanks to all of the team for doing such amazing content 🧡

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

I just realized The Take was the same as Screenprism! 😮

[@kerrajohnson3203]

Actor Tracee Ellis Ross is the exact opposite of her "Girlfriends" character Joan. Joan was always worried about finding the one but still ended the series single. But Tracee is single on purpose.

[@ana-nim]

I come from the family where all women are single. Grandmothers, aunts, everyone: they get a baby, leave the man and raise the baby in their own community. My mom is the only exception, she is still with my dad but she is absolutely independent: she has her own money, she rules the house, finances, she even build things for the house all by herself and my dad lives in our community and in mom's house, not the other way around. Needless to say that I was so shocked when people outside of my family started to tell me that i should do this and that in order to be an attractive mate for boys. This concept was so alien to me because I never saw that growing up. No matter how many times society or men would tell me that i should settle down and get married it always will be strange and unnatural to me.

[@Fournier46]

Once again so perfectly edited, written, and voice acted. Thanks for this

[@whycaninotfindagood]

Love this video! I got out of a really bad relationship three years ago. Instead of being single and growin, I got into anew relationship 3 months later. And it failed! And I’m so happy it did! Most people don’t understand that being single can be a choice and it’s sometimes necessary. I love being single and found myself because of it!!

[@Cherabreena]

Thank you so much for (finally) making a video about this. I love your channel! I, like others in the comments, hope to see more movies and shows depicting single women who are NOT focused on sexual conquest. As a demi-sexual introvert I love doing all sorts of things by myself. When I'm single, I have no interest in hooking up or chasing men. It's a shame most movies about being happily single, still evolves around male validation and chasing the D. Can we get more shows about single women loving their lives with their friends, hobbies and pets?! Hopefully one day. :D

[@noeldunsky]

Yet another amazingly professional video from this wonderful channel! 💛💛

[@insightful_fairy8743]

My mum is from the “spinster “ generation, and keeps asking when I’m going to settle down with a man (I’m 34) i always say I’m happy been by myself, but she always says “you might meet someone soon” which used to annoy me so much! But I’ve learnt to just ignore it now….

[@amberleysmith7158]

I'm looking forward to some fun comedy sitcomes that highlight asexual and aromantic people.

[@CourtneyCoulson]

I didn't realise how much I needed to hear this.

[@petraw9792]

While The Mindy Project started out as a rom-com and Mindy is dating for the majority of it's run and eventually ending up in a relationship, I still see her in this category. The show became really interesting when - spoiler - she started to build her clinic and her marriage started to fall apart. Even when the character was in a relationship, you always got the feeling she didn't need to be and was in fact happier on her own.

[@elenathorne]

As the legendary, single, sex positive and iconic Mae West (allegedly) said: “I’m single because that’s how I was born.” Basically, I’m saying that I love this message. It goes hand in hand with “the woman who doesn’t want kids character” or real life woman who doesn’t want kids- it’s important to hear that. I remember I never ever wanted kids, and watching How I Met Your Mother for the first time hearing Robin say she didn’t want kids was... all I needed to hear and I felt, seen, I guess. So, yes, lovethis.

[@malvavisco10]

Don’t misquote. The prompt from one of her films was “Why are you single?” Mae’s response, with her trademark salacious eye roll, was “I was born that way.”

[@elenathorne]

@@malvavisco10 as I have not seen that film (yet), I did not know this, hence the *allegedly* usage. I found this quote randomly and I loved it and felt it fit, so I shared. Thank you for correcting me.

[@malvavisco10]

@@elenathorne don’t trust those quotes pages, they are usually apocryphal/unsourced and badly paraphrased (removing every shred of with and pith).

[@elenathorne]

@@malvavisco10 I agree. I don’t trust them. Which is why I said “allegedly” because even if the quote is wrong, it’s still a damn fine saying.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

2:04 Ok, I love the visual of Miranda Hart as Miss Bates. I loved her in ‘Emma’ (2020). A criminally underrated comedic actor.

[@ievolcisum]

Dude, seriously! Miranda is so funny and had her own show for a bit

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@ievolcisum I remember that show and I love it.

[@petraw9792]

Real-life Miranda is a true role model in the spirit of this video since she promotes her single lifestyle on social media. (Don't know if she ever dated someone and I don't care. If she did, it wasn't publicly.)

[@CaregivingVlogs]

I have to admit being single is freedom, and me being single is by choice. I am 35 years old and I haven't settled down because I am just trying to find a healthy loving relationship, and if that doesn't happen, I can always choice to be a single mom one day, because I am ether going to be in a healthy loving relationship with a friend, or I can do it on my own. Ether way, relationships shouldn't define who we are. I was raised by a single mom, and she is so inspiring, to go out and never settle.

[@Sailor_Universe]

I would love to see a video that focuses on the childfree lifestyle. It's becoming more common, but there's still a lot of stigma towards women who don't want kids. As flawed as she can be, I look up to Carrie from SATC for being open and honest about being childfree and not being ashamed of it or afraid to celebrate herself.

[@samanthalake5011]

Weird how Carrie was never judged for being childless in SATC, but Samantha was.🤔

[@lucyt.8389]

You don't know how much I needed this video. Thank you.

[@creatinotionchannel2680]

Just a note - when you talk about Roz as a single mother you show a clip of Daphne and Niles with their baby instead

[@tobiaslawrence8928]

Single life is in more fashionable cause no one wants to be in a relationship with someone full of red flags, especially for what given the state of the misogyny of most (not all) but most men today are. Makes since you me I guess.

[@greywolf7577]

You are more likely to see sexism from women (for example, saying "men are dogs" or something along those lines) than you are to see sexism from men these days. That's because a man who is sexist is called out for it, but women who are sexist are rarely called out for it.

[@chamham6734]

@@greywolf7577 saying men are dogs vs not respecting the boundaries of women slowly until you abuse or even k!ll her. Yeah, I think the second one sounds worse.

[@grafinvonhohenembs]

Being single is the best! Though I don’t know why people would want to ruin it by dating and sleeping around; that sounds like a complete nightmare and defeats the purpose of being happy and single. (At least for me.)

[@danyramos8139]

I would have liked that you touched upon how singledom can be a part of the LGBTQ experience, especially with the aro/ace community who don't want to be in a relationship and are often pitied

[@theincredibleknuffibar4834]

True!

[@michellem9444]

I'm 50 and divorced for 9 years and I've never been happier! I think that our society puts too much value on romantic love. I spent wayyyyy to many years being miserable in relationships because I was supposed to find the love of my life, right? Unfortunately, I don't cope well in relationships. I choose the wrong person, I give up too much of myself, etc, etc. You know the old saying that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results"? I finally figured out that I'm happiest when I'm NOT in a relationship! And loneliness? Please! Who has time for loneliness when you have your child's activities, family, friends, coworkers, etc, etc? I look forward to rare moments alone for the peace and quiet. LOL The world has changed, and for the better. People who want romantic relationships can still pursue them, but I for one am happy that we have the options to NOT choose romance! :)

[@LC-in2ft]

I'm 27 and have been single all my life! I love it though and have never felt sad or lonely about it. I'm not permiscuous at all though. In fact I think I might even be asexual. People are shocked when they hear I'm not actively searching for a partner. It's crazy. I was even told by a man that I should hurry up and get a boyfriend before I turn 30. As if my time will be up soon. As if 30 is far too old to be attractive. Crazy! My fur and feather children are the only children I'll ever want so trying to hurry up and find a partner because of my biological clock running out doesn't apply to me.

[@Eric-gp3hi]

Nice video! It would be cool if you could do a video on the Goth Girl trope.

[@Apricot90]

People see me as a very soft and feminine person, and it is true, I am quite the romantic. But I NEED my space to thrive in life and stay sane and healthy! So, no. I am not miserable just because I am not in a relationship. I enjoy my solitude. I also enjoy playful flirting with different men. There is nothing wrong about it, I don't harm anyone. This is something many people can't grasp. The amount of ignorant and belitteling comments I have to hear every day is the only thing getting on my fucking nerves. I'm a 32 year old archaeologist and teacher and I know what I'm doing, but come and ask those boomers and narrow-minded traditional fools how I should live my life. What a joke!

[@niaselah3348]

Reading some comments I think portraying single ladies in a healthy way and destroying stigma and stereotypes is not easy. Example: at the end of the film they find someone On one hand it kinda sends the opposite message and seems to reinforce the " wedding happily forever after" On the other I think it tries to debunk the stereotype of forever alone and specially for women that the older you get nobody would be interested in you so you should settle as soon as possible even if you know you deserve a better relationship. Again this still promotes being single for women as something bad and not a real valid and healthy choice The reality being that we know for a fact that all the women we have lost to femicides definitely would have lived longer, healthier and fulfilling lives without misogynistic males. That's the real threat to women. Being single not so much. Love

[@angelaholmes8888]

I'm 32 years old and am happily single I don't have the need or want to ever marry or have children

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Glenn Close in ‘Fatal Attraction’ was the OG Demonisation of Single Women who work.

[@ollynolly4592]

My friends and I have this running joke about becoming rich African aunties that buy expensive gifts for our families. None of our mothers are happy about this but honestly it just inspires us to work harder to be self dependant and live comfortable lives. We are all in university now, graduating in a year (some of my friends in 2) but its really fun working towards a future together. Nobody supports me like my friends and I can't say that any of us have any real desire to be mothers and somebody's wife

[@caitlin329]

Honestly, I hate lifestyles becoming 'trends'. The same as body types.

[@c_lee_]

I've gotten out of over a 9 year relationship and have been single for little over a year now. While I have pangs of fear of being lonely sometimes, the few times I have met someone or gone on a date I've realized that I don't want to be in a relationship, at least not now or even in the near future. I'm relearning how to enjoy my time and being able to choose how I spend it and even who I choose to spend it with, especially in a not long-term manner. Even when in a relationship, I've never wanted to be married. I've been met with a barage of reactions from friends and family, from outright confusion to disapproval, sadly even moreso from those who are either couple off or married.

[@RoninRen]

just something to think about for a video essay idea, (although tbh it can be for a later time) the narratives about characters being thirsty as the go to for comedy, when compared to the reality of it,

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Wait, Chelsea Peretti is in ‘Spinster’? Ok, I need to watch it now.

[@pls-shanice]

The only thing is that being single is not necessarily the same as hooking up with whoever you want… like you don’t have to be having lots of sex, there’s a lot more to life!

[@mytruecrimelibrary]

I've been single for 5 years now and I LOVE IT. No arguments, no dealing with in laws, no compromises. I focuse all my love and energy on my daughter and my dogs and I've never been happier. It is true however that people don't always understand but at 40 years old I've learned to give zero f*cks about what others think I should do.

[@greywolf7577]

Do you get to have custody of your daughter the majority of the time? That is one advantage that women have in Family Court. There are a lot of men trapped in bad marriages because they know if they get divorced they will hardly ever get to see their children.

[@mytruecrimelibrary]

@@greywolf7577 my daughter is 21. But when she was a minor she decided where she wanted to be, we didn't go through courts.

[@RavenPH12]

I appreciate the celebration of these characters. But I can’t help to wonder if there is media representation to those who are single AND have no interest in sex? Most characters portrayed in media are allosexuals. Asexuals are rare, as far as I am aware.

[@gueneverepaysan19]

I wish you could make a character analysis with the TBBT characters the same way you did with the Friends characters. I love both shows, they make me feel elated during my woeful moments in life.

[@Zapporah85]

As an AroAce who thinks love would be nice, but isn't a necessity, I identify with a lot of the women who stay single.

[@missso2561]

Almost 50, been single for over 10 years, best decision I ever made. No worrying about fitting into someone else's life, schedule, needs, etc. Can just take care of myself.

[@emilymatthews2990]

Halfway through and I already love this. I got out of a disgusting relationship just recently and I am 22 and would rather the single the rest of my life, so I went my own way and started separating myself from Men unless I absolutely have to interact with them(at work or my volunteering), especially because to me dating isn’t safe in a post Roe V Wade world where a relationship with men is more likely to trap me and ruin my future due to abortions being inaccessible, it’s a lifestyle I wouldn’t mind loving the rest of my life too. I’m also Ace Homoromantic as well and with the unlikelihood of me finding a gf and that I am sex repulsed, I would rather prefer being eternally single than catering to someone who doesn’t care about my needs and tries to tear me down as that is what most relationships with men will also turn into down the line, especially after the kid pops out if you choose to have a family.

[@greyLeicester]

Ugh thanks for the Derry girl spoiler!!!

[@pencils7351]

I'm aroace (aromantic asexual) and I'll never have a romantic relationship by choice. But I still want a life partner so me and my aro-spec ace friend have made an agreement that if neither of us have partners by our mid twenties (there was a specific age but I can't remember it rn) we'll platonically marry each other. And I'm 100% planning on fulfilling the dream wedding and dream proposal that she told me about, after all you don't need romance for those dreams to come true

[@mffmoniz2948]

In my very religious catholic village, there was a saving grace for girls who didn't want to get married or didn't have the opportunity. They could become a Daugther of Mary, basically a nun that didn't need to go to a convent. Sisters would stay living together, supporting each other, and away from the suffering their married sisters endured. This loophole and tons of awful husbands/fathers around to serve as bad example, actually taught me early on that not marrying wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

[@nancykerrigan]

I think you forgot That Girl when you talk about the evolution of the single female character. I haven't seen the show but have heard how groundbreaking it was. I think there was controversy at the end because the character turned down a marriage proposal because the actress didn't want to do the happily-ever-after-marriage-approach as an ending? And I get Mike and Eleven getting together. The chemistry was there from the beginning.

[@robchuk4136]

You show Tehani from The Good Place a couple of times, and that seems like a weird example for a couple of reasons: 1) It’s the Afterlife 2) The premise is focused on soul mates, and she's even with Jason for a good part of it.

[@danyramos8139]

I wish you'd touched upon Princess Carolyn from BoJack Horseman. She did end with her happy ending, but after huge character arcs