The Story You Tell Yourself: Understanding Your Narrative Identity

The story you tell yourself about your life has immense power. This is your narrative identity - it shapes how you think, feel, and act. In this video, psychiatrist Dr. Tracey Marks helps you understand the key elements of your narrative:
• Your Foundation: Explore the early influences that shaped you.
• Key Life Events: How have experiences molded your identity?
• Future Outlook: What do you envision for the next chapter?
Ready to rewrite your story? For deeper exploration, check out Dr. Marks' "Unlock Your Story" workbook here: mentalwellnessspace.store/pro...
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Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

[@BigIndianBindi-jy1cz]

the narrative is much worse when you are ignored/neglected, and left to isolate in your room all the time, and no one showing interest or care that you're isolating. and when you do come out of the room, no one shows any interest. EDIT: I would include that breaking away from this and improving feels impossible because of a lack of social skills, and "proper social and facial posture". Basically learning how to present self in the world as a human, and not as what looks like a feral yet timid animal (appearing very awkward, and afraid people will reject you for looking weird)

[@JanetJenkins]

This is how I grew up until around age 14.

[@spadedust24]

Same here. Damn thought it was just me

[@Cowgirlkate]

Great feeling to know we aren’t alone

[@rambhattacharjee1850]

Very very true

[@aceshigh5157]

yes! exactly, and whenever i showed interest in anything i was discouraged. i always struggle to answer self reflective questions because there is nothing there - ie: i didn't have any interests or hobbies (and this is still a problem now), i didn't have favorite subjects in school (i still have difficulty understanding what "like" feels like), i didn't have any positive role models etc. i started doing inner child work and while i'm able to remember my childhood, it's mostly me being alone or being criticized and threatened - nothing else.

[@sherita_is_built_different]

I needed this. Just yesterday, my narrative was "I'm overweight. I will only be loved if I'm smaller. I can never lose weight, therefore I will never be loved." I also find myself giving and caring for others even before I care for myself. I grew up with the narrative that "God wants me to put others before myself" because for a long time I sacrificed my time to help take care of my sick mom and now I'm pouring myself into others if it means helping them. Today, I am currently fighting through depression. I'm 32, and I haven't experienced so many things in life because I was too busy sacrificing myself to be everyone's comfort. I'm slowly but surely realizing that putting myself first is important. Asking for help is important. Saying no (even though it's difficult) is important. Currently seeing a therapist so wish me well everyone.

[@Bigtittypatthicc]

I’m wishing you success ❤

[@jdrex5039]

Start eating plant based whole food 🌱

[@Henri96VO]

Good luck! I'm on the same journey and it's so tough. Just had to give up my last support because they gaslit me more about my past. We can always grow and experience things. 32 isn't too late.

[@PaperMario64]

I wish you extra well.

[@63artemisia63]

@@jdrex5039 It’s not that simple.

[@rachelsbehavior]

I hope you get to be on a talk show or something because you deserve recognition for the selfless service work you do running this channel and helping others develop skills to improve mental health. Until then, I give you all the appreciation and flowers. 💐 thank you for being you 🙏🏽

[@SevenUnwokenDreams]

I hate when my narrative is that I am a really cool artistic person, but other people's narrative of me is that I'm mentally ill. It makes me feel bad about myself. So I isolate. Then I get lonely. Then my narrative goes to the negative.

[@xaza8uhitra4]

i’ve been thinking about this a lot recently . a lot of the stories we tell ourselves are so deeply ingrained and it’s difficult to recreate and believe different stories . it’s really subtle and it feels like it’s almost below the level of consciousness

[@prabhakarbalakrishna8185]

Doctor, you are God sent to us.Thankyou.

[@stivendavid98]

Tbh, unfortunately I grew up in an environment where the people who raised me valued my worth based on educational success and by criticizing my daily behavior. Based on this they would reward or punish me. No in between. Thanks to my friends and partner in life I became self aware of my behaviors and perspectives on life❤

[@justinwilliams8157]

Thank you Dr Marks! At 72 and living alone, I am still working very hard on 'myself'. I'll now try to invent a good ending to : "What do I want my future to look like?" This will take a lot of imagination and optimism!

[@greenlogicinc.1478]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@72dee]

I have memory loss. Things I do remember are triggers of trauma and depression, anxiety and PTSD. Things are like a scrambled puzzle. I can't see myself as a child or teen. Meaning my brain is visually dead, black out. I can't see anything just darkness

[@thijsjong]

Find people who are positive to you. Who is worthy of yoiur trust. Built positive memmories for the future by seeking rewarding experiences. Start with baby steps to avoid triggers.

[@MaricaIvica]

Your brain does this to protect you...

[@angelc286]

That is heartbreaking to hear. Trauma leaves a deep impression even when you can recall good memories alongside the bad. Write down a short journal about something positive you experience each day, even something as minor as eating a food you like or going outside on a sunny day. Just let it be anything positive. Give yourself a straight line that leads out from the scramble instead of always Focusing on the what you can’t remember. Find ways to ground yourself, there’s always hope in healing. Wish you well moving forward.

[@6rosebuds]

Dissociation to protect the scary things. It's there you know your triggers. Therapy and tools ⚒️ to help in guiding your healing ❤️‍🩹 or keep walls barakaded. Dr marks is awesome.

[@Redrio]

Children of the new millennium. You have no idea how lucky you are to have to great knowledge available to you so clear, concise and free! This is stuff that people before you have had to work for decades to figure out. Take full advantage please

[@thefictionxwelive]

I’ve been working on my self-talk or “narrative identity” for about three years now in therapy. It is life changing. I went from my own worst enemy to my own best friend. It is possible. I still struggle with depression, but now the me on the inside takes my hand, gives me a hug, and whispers “you are strong”. Don’t lose hope. Keep trying, even if it feels fake. It will feel fake in the beginning. Self-talk is a habit, whether it is positive, negative, neutral. We do it one way for so long it feels ingrained in us as if it’s the genuine truth. But the trick is, we get to decide. One day at a time becomes months becomes years. How we think changes what we do, which changes who we are. ❤

[@funkyandbold]

This lady's awesome. She's been doing her thing for years. Y'all should listen to her!

[@Chereese97]

This is so helpful. Explains a lot about why I view myself the way I do. I appreciate that it’s not too late to rewrite our narratives for the better. Thank you Dr Marks.

[@meimojapela7209]

Since l began watching ur videos my life changed dramatically,l longer have stress or worries,l have bew perspective to the world 🌍 l love you so much Madam ,be blessed and know that we are really grateful for having you. I love you so much from South Africa 🇿🇦

[@oyandakona5994]

She is dope ❤️

[@nativeblunt489]

she is amazing

[@daliacezar]

Yes. The hardest challenges is to heal the inner child and start re-parenting is all linked with our triggers and behaviors.

[@oldladyjamz]

You are the best therapist I ever "had." Thank you. ☺️

[@ER-xl6cs]

I had some sad and difficult life experiences. I did not get praise. I struggled in school. worked hard to overcome some difficulties. I FORGAVE a lot of people. I see myself as a hard worker, someone who looks at life realistically but also as full of possibilities! A cup half full! I’m not special or especially talented. I’m still moving forward! I stay positive by looking for positive things.

[@firestar1215]

Dr. Marks, totally off topic: I just love your hair!💕✨💕

[@tamatoes6092]

The timing of this video is crazy. I just figured out the Past part on my own last night after having a fight with my spouse. I wasn't even mad or in a fighting mood, so I listened to him tell me, yet again, that I get mad, yell, and belittle him when he isn't at 100%. And I was thinking, yes, because it is his fault that he is sick/tired/inconveniencing me, so I should get to be mad... and then I finally realized that's how my parents treated me.

[@Pugetwitch]

I just started watching this and I'm already intrigued. Throughout my personal healing process (cPTSD, narcissistic abuse, late ASD dx)I have often reminded myself that I am not my story, it's just an experience that I went through but my story does not make me who I am as an individual. My character does not have to change because of the things that *I* have gone *through* in life, those are things that I have gone through - not vice versa -, and I still exist outside of those things, whether or not they occurred. I just need to bring myself back to that peaceful center where my identity lies that way I can be in tandem with God, aligned with my soul, and not being driven by ego via fear (of shame) or pride.

[@ladyknox]

i needed this, thank you

[@ronbarton7799]

Excellent perspective. Blessings on your life journey.

[@42BETWO]

Depth of self-reflection matters. Meditation on videos like this (…especially, w/ benefit of psychedelics) can guide self-psychotherapy deep with amazing clarity, self-understanding and love. Thank you.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

Very interesting... My second and third sections are hard for me, as I have never felt proud or self-satisfied or fulfilled. I never had any ambitions, aspirations or goals. My parents were always very proud of me whenever I'd do certain things, and were very proud when I graduated school, then university, got my first job, etc. They're proud of me just for being me, which is lovely, BUT I personally feel no pride in myself. I just did the bare minimum to get by and luckily I was fairly intelligent. Major under-achiever. I still did pretty well, but hardly did anything and was bored.

[@sserton2839]

Hey Sis - ❤️ this upload. I will exercise this video as my ‘to-do’ task this week. Soooo looking forward to it. Your hair is beautiful - reminds me of mine. I need to let my hair loose - always have it up.

[@mioafox]

Had been sitting on the couch in the middle of the night crying for over an hour before I came here. Thank you, for providing an outlook on how to try and rein in the loneliness, fear and self-hate and self-consciousness that have been racking me for months now.

[@rainbowconnected]

How are you faring now? I hope the day finds you feeling better about yourself and your life. Hopefully you've found more resources and connections that are supporting you in learning to love and appreciate yourself just as you are.

[@mioafox]

@@rainbowconnected much better, thank you :)

[@mattlaws8499]

This channel is changing my perspective on life

[@grahamfonteyne4792]

Dr. Marks, thank you for putting out such great, informative videos!

[@lunarribbon917]

Dr. Tracy, thanks so much for being who you are, for providing useful, life changing information in such a clear and concise way!! I'm learning so much from your videos and your straightforward approach to opening and ending your videos is refreshing, thanks again!

[@195516Z]

How coincidental that this is the very first video I looked at this morning. This mental torture is exactly what I experience every morning as I start to awaken from sleep. All of my fears and desires ( mostly fears ) parade before me. I have to propel myself out of bed and engage my mind in some sort of distraction or I feel madness will ensue if I continue to lie there!

[@FancyTruth1]

This would happen to me as a child every morning before school. Now, I have nightmares I have to redo high school. Blessings.

[@vluna8983]

Outstanding, and helpful! Thank you, Dr. Marks.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@TheFilmLocker]

Just in time!😊 I've been contemplating how my internal narrative may be hindering my healing/Re-parenting process. This was helpful!🙏🏾

[@nyarparablepsis872]

Lovely synchronicity. I bought a journal and started writing my story yesterday, to reframe the way I think about myself and others.

[@missyface5]

This is so helpful, Dr. Marks! I just started EMDR therapy and I'm working with my therapist on core beliefs. The way you present everything here is helpful for trying to navigate my narrative identity

[@Weezie007]

Wow!!! Dr. Tracy Marks I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!! I have been on a true self discovery while reflecting and visualizing my future since my ADHD late diagnosis. The prompts will really help me to gather my thoughts and get them written out. Thanks again!

[@martinweir4007]

I’m sending you a huge hug. Multiple times your video hits the mark. Thank you for the link. I look forward to making it a priority!

[@artemischo3500]

I love this so much! Perfect timing for me and my husband as well as a great resource I will HAVE to recommend to others! Thank you again for such amazing work!

[@irene_f.]

Thank you Dr. Tracey Marks. I'm starting to journal and this is so helpful. Thank you for all of your videos and your time.

[@humayramohua]

This video is golden!

[@marianabarbieri5416]

I love how objective and informational your content is! Helps me a lot ❤

[@Lladz171]

After listening to many of your videos I was at a lost for words simply because Mental Health as exspressed by the client, individual, patient is/maybe experienced different upon understanding the curcumstance and acceptance of the precieved. .It seems as if we gradually allow our selfs to be defined as such the more we seek according to. I can honestly say the video is important, informative, and educational. Thank you for the time spent. . .

[@cecih4702]

I just ordered your workbook. I haven't finished this video and I can already tell that my self narrative is not serving me well. Thank you!

[@youdontknowme5969]

I'm over 50 and still figuring out who I am . . .

[@Dana-op6ex]

I really appreciate your work, thank you. The concept that I can remold/mold my future to aspire to and become my best self now/anytime is well, a relief and hopeful, even as it is super challenging. I'd say all of the accomplishments I have earned have been challenging so I do have a track record for success. It's not clear how to see and talk to myself differently, but I've been visiting this dialogue already. Cool beans!

[@natashyas4149]

Thank you, DR Marks! This is a lot to take in but so grateful for it

[@annasiljama]

Great tips! It is very important to do the self-work to better understand yourself. Journaling has really helped me become more self-aware which has helped me gain control of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. Very empowering 🙂 I encourage everyone to do the journalling exercises suggested.

[@WeeWeeJumbo]

pretty confident i'm gonna make it to the post-credits scene

[@SirQuantization]

Loved this. Very helpful. Thanks Doc

[@exhortationswithdrjacobs]

Love this!

[@melaniewolf7244]

Thank you, Dr. Marks!!

[@lindamceachern5467]

I can't thank you enough for all you have taught me❤

[@johnnycomelately6341]

One of your best, Tracey!

[@mongoharry]

Tracey Marks rocks!

[@ronmcc100]

Wow! Thanks for sharing this! A lot to unpack here...

[@PaperMario64]

Thank you, doc. Gonna write this out when I get home.

[@nerdbamarich2063]

Thank you as always 💙🙏🏾

[@larajamokha2274]

Thank you Dr Tracey, I love your videos you're amazing.

[@ThatAutisticBlackMan]

Took me a while to watch this one and now im mad I didn't click when it first showed up. I needed this yesterday

[@aaronboyce6682]

I really appreciate the work you do!

[@aceshigh5157]

great timing! i've been working on bits and pieces of this for the last few years, and it's nice to see the big picture explained.

[@23rdFilmzEnt141]

Thank you again Dr.Marks,new information being updated,your speaking life into positive energy,thank you.

[@bianca4829]

This is so simple but sounds extremely impactful. Thank you ❤

[@sushibguts]

i needed this video sm

[@philippamediwake1235]

This is excellent information. Thank you Dr Tracy ❤

[@gagecarty4290]

All of that can be very important to someone who is struggling with their life experiences

[@NewDimension7]

Yup it's nice talks self . Create on myself Thanks for sharing

[@iwillitryican]

Thank you so much for this subject. I need to do this. I think it will give me some great insights.

[@valeriemckee-arnold5156]

This was very helpful even though it was short but sweet. Thank you

[@-handala-]

This is incredibly powerful, action oriented content.

[@eastcoastloveaffair]

Super constructive methods. Thank you!

[@pinkgarage]

excellent topic and great advice, thank you!

[@evdrivertk]

Thanks for the great video. One exercise that helps me find out about myself is to write down ten good things and ten bad things about each parent. I then see how both good and bad traits influence my own life.

[@BruceLeon83]

Loved this video. Very informative. It's well made.

[@kevinrandall7376]

Thanks Tracey, really appreciate your presentation it makes so much sense Will work on my story telling 😉

[@mikehab7453]

What if I don’t remember a large swath of my past? I feel like I spent a lot of my younger life disassociating

[@nuclearface1451]

Thank you for your content your voice is so reassuring and very calming to hear just subscribed!

[@stevestarr6395]

I was adopted into a dysfunctional family where no one cared and learned to care for myself and created a good identity and person who is recognized as so!

[@harolyne.s]

I have a journal businsss called Rewritten! And it’s based on Narrative Therapy! I love this ❤️

[@user-it8yh8tu7d]

Hi Dr. Marks, can you go over why we get bored and habituation?

[@ZionForman]

this is good stuff, thank you.

[@Frontline35]

This video is very helpful.

[@vidhoard]

Very interesting concept!

[@jessimow]

Ordered!

[@oscardaniel8087]

Thanks!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re very welcome. Thank YOU! 🙏🏽

[@Adir272]

I appreciate you so much, thank you for every video that you making. And i loved your book, do you think you'll write another one soon?

[@nancywysemen7196]

excellent.thank-you.

[@charles5272]

Very good thank you ❤

[@solomonsic]

This looks like a great product I will buy

[@michelepascoe6068]

Wow, this is excellent! Dr Marks, do you have any material for dealing with an identity crisis, like finding out that your father is not who you were told he was? And betrayal, that your whole family knew, except you. Thank you.

[@saltiestsiren]

The Future View really terrifies me. I don't want a future where I continue to suffer, but I don't feel safe or strong enough to write and pursue a possible narrative that doesn't include my mental illnesses. I feel very weak because of this. Who *doesn't* want to recover? I make no sense to myself.

[@annwilson3069]

i love all my children and grandchildren ❤❤❤

[@kasondaleigh]

She hits it straight in the head. 👍👍

[@goodenoughgirl8102]

The horrendous narrative of the narcissistic fam system. I’ve explored a LOT of numbers one and two, worked a lot on many things, but still having some trouble “envisioning” a forward view and the future tho…or just like the real shape of me or where I’m going and what it means to be “me.”And so on like that. But alas, narc parents. Notorious for making sure a kid has no self and just plays the role they said for you to play. Def can relate to being there for everyone else but not getting a lot of others being there for me. Esp when it comes to having anyone proud of me or “cheerleaders.” Esp around feeling like anyone is ever proud of me. Or the lonely of having some progress or happiness or achievement…and nobody to share it with (Bcuz nobody seems to care or nobody is even around). I could find a friend when I’m down a lot more than I can find anyone to “rejoice with me.” There seems to be a lot of folks with a lot of reasons to not be happy for you or impressed or to never say so if they are. Some just don’t even notice either. Prob doesn’t help that my mother seems like an envious frenemy also. All the time she is never really “proud” or happy for me. Seems like just the opposite. (Bcuz I’m her “competition” of course 🙄). And so much more like sabotage, raining on all of my parades, crapping on everything. And finally…oh snap! I’m near Atlanta also. How did I not know all this time? Lol.

[@edsonpires4199]

TKS ❤

[@InformalBaatien]

Can you please make video explaining rumination cause disconnect from reality and not feeling real, how to overcome and build trust back in reality

[@imaladywith3]

Very interesting

[@jamesmoore4023]

I learned a few years ago that I have aphantasia. I wonder how much this impacts my narrative identity. I'm working with a technology company on this soon and I can't wait to see the results.

[@J4sonkempson]

Adhd ?

[@jamesmoore4023]

@@J4sonkempson aphantasia

[@J4sonkempson]

@jamesmoore4023 im awaiting an assessment for adhd at the age of 52, i only recently realised I have it(aphantasia). I was just wondering if you have adhd as well. Sorry I'm just researching for myself you don't have to answer, I just heard it was sometimes comorbid. Cheers anyway

[@peacenpowder]

You too? The only thing i see in my head is the backside of my eyelids. No images at all. I do dream at night though...

[@J4sonkempson]

@peacenpowder dreaming thing is quite weird, I don't think I see things more like verbal stories and it's very rare, but when I do they do include sounds.

[@BABE_L]

Tracey, you're funny :) Trying to keep it together and you truly help! Took ketamine today to quit my self-abusive stimulant overuse And like kind of arte-roid-rage-Rap'-obsessive-compulsive-producing binges. btw, Will dye my hair black tomorrow :)

[@kevinrandall7376]

You can't really reach out to love others unless you Love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY we all make mistakes when moving forward, that's how to learn at times. Nobody's perfect all the time. No need to be overly perfection oriented until learn from within whom you really are. Takes work but make it fun and progress. That's what I intend to do😜

[@chriserony]

Hi, I’ve gotten older and reconnected with some people who were related to some major childhood trauma I went through as a kid. It really shook up my internal story to hear what was going on from another perspective. In fact, I feel like I have a loss of identity and I don’t even know what my Narrative Identity is right now. Even my likes and dislikes feel really unstable at the moment because the foundation of my identity is so shaken. I am not sure what to do and have been pretty mentally unstable for the past year. Is there anything you can suggest that would help?

[@weaponizedcuriousity]

Thank you Dr. Marks for reducing white lab coat symdrone!

[@greenlogicinc.1478]

My beginning was in a cult of my eldest sister HOLINESS/LIVING ABOVE SIN 🤦🏽 then when I got home (mom&dad did not attend) Parents would SCREAM FROM MORNING TILL NIGHT…I would go to my room and hide and could not wait for the moment to leave at 18…which I did but what now to do with this mess! I’m 58 no ow and diagnosed as Bipolar Schiizo Affective😊