The Swingers Story | Theo Von

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Excerpt from Heimlich Maneuver, Swingers, Pringles, Callers | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #46
Full Episode: • 10-16-17: Heimlich Ma...
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[@sungdvd]

He’s popping off. He’s sprouting out. He’s rooting down on some local wives!!! So poetic

[@c9hr0ni4c]

Dude... I literally came to the comments to write "local wives" and your comment is the first comment in the comment section lol. Theo, Theo, Theo 😂

[@josedirks3973]

@@brianaslopen6661 found the virus link

[@austin-kv5ue]

I lost it when he said that... this whole thing was comedy lol

[@mattstephens6137]

Drillin. Drillin. Drillin. 🤣🤣

[@skizzymars2067]

Bro this man is hell 😂😂😂

[@ChrisMulrooney92]

“He was that dark dagger. That Air Meat they were FedExing around the country.” Theo is the modern day Robert Frost

[@brodyharris7631]

😂😂😂😂

[@mgal6234]

Brings me to tears...😭😭😭

[@Marin3r101]

Really??? How you gonna say some shit like that when Theo isnt that deep at all. He just makes face value analogies.

[@oakenhowl524]

@@Marin3r101 Just because you have something really stupid to say, doesn't mean you should say it.

[@EikottXD]

That is an insult to Robert Frost. Theo is funny but he is no poet.

[@windyproductions6325]

the amount of incredibly poetic sentences he produces within a single 8 minute period is actually astonishing. you are a national treasure no doubt!

[@adamh4530]

“Smelled like somebody left Chinese food in their trunk overnight..” 😂 I lost it

[@loup9356]

He nailed that scent

[@chasenicholas8609]

He called him "DeWalt....Black and Dickher"

[@LittleMINFace]

comic genius.

[@mgal6234]

“That elevator...that elevator was a vertical fvck trolley,” 😂

[@austynlacombe8770]

When I tell you I died at that part😂😂😂

[@BestFightScenes1]

Lost it right there.

[@DennyBass]

Hell of an advertisement for wheat thins.

[@fishfire_2999]

Without a doubt gonna give a box a go lmao.

[@AgitpropPsyop]

“I wasn’t in to the swingers convention until I saw the wheat thins. I don’t know who did wheat thins and pringles, but they killed it.”

[@jasonltoombs]

The absolute best at story telling. His imagination is hilarious. When he called the elevator a "fuck trolley", I spit out my beer.

[@michaelrobson1627]

"vertical fuck trolley" haha was the best, I almost choked on my m&m's!

[@user-yf2lk5gi7q]

"I'm not takin a hairy back to a swingers event, I just do not have that kinda confidence." They'll love your man tuft Theo, don't be ashamed, gang.

[@GreySkullification]

"gang, gang" ....(bang)

[@TheRick8866]

Gang son

[@russ9766]

Tuft lol

[@McCluski]

...I probably have to do "some reverse leg curls in stuff before I go to a swingers thing".

[@woopteedeewoopteedye]

Give that black hammer something to grip onto, cowboy style. They'll rename the sport roTheo.

[@manilkasheran2934]

The only thing stopping theo from being a swinger is laziness to shave his back. lol gotta love this guys!

[@mr.anderson8211]

I really want to see someone take this story and do an animation along to his voice

[@hhhhippo]

Naw those are for dumb people

[@olliewashington9208]

Dumb people are the reason life is worth leaving.

[@hhhhippo]

@@olliewashington9208 Leaving?

[@olliewashington9208]

@@hhhhippo shit .. i meant living... Good lookin out.

[@maxsiehier]

I would definitely NOT want to see that twister game animated

[@Mike-tf7wb]

Spent years in "the lifestyle." It is a path to darkness, emptiness and depression. Just bc you CAN degrade into debauchery and dog-like behavior, doesn't mean you SHOULD. NONE of it was worth the hype.

[@jaishu123]

You're the first person to say this from the community lol

[@colaphoenix6849]

@@jaishu123 i have a feeling he no longer is in the community though; also sounds like someone that just left a cult.

[@the21program10]

Same . Lost my wife to it 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@Samsok013]

Agreed, i wasnt into swinging but same being a young gay guy. Just because you can have 1 or 2 dates a day doesnt mean you should

[@thesatisfiedcustomer4869]

@@the21program10 that’s brutal mate.

[@HAHA-wn1wc]

“I wasn’t into at all, until I saw, I’m not even joking, the wheat thins”

[@zodglubby]

I lost it at that!

[@timujin1000]

PMSL !!

[@salorostov576]

I just discovered Theo last night and I've been compulsively binging his videos

[@THEBACKROOMSEXPLORER7]

u not alone

[@jakecasebolt8612]

Crazy fact his father was 70 when he was born ...true story

[@ihave0followers389]

@@jakecasebolt8612 yep. he hated that shit too. thats why he talks about it often. he was bothered because his dad was dying while he was trying to grow up basically. he even said he didnt like the way his skin felt. but he stiill loved his dad. he just hated the age he was when theo was born. he cried about it actually. made me kinda tear up a little

[@sarahmcintyre6150]

Me too❤

[@jbabygotback15]

Same

[@mattnessB72]

"No longer playing the game accurately" knowing the subject matter here is such a fantastic description!

[@jwil4905]

I love that he couldn't think of "Twister."

[@bigmikec9]

Theo is the funniest guy out there. I just recently discovered him. I think I have watched 2 hours of clips per day. Good shit. B be

[@gudrapmusic1016]

I swear I’m doing the same thing lol

[@st-doubleO-p-i-d]

I live in the same place he grew up. Always followed him. He’s so funny. Watch some of his stand ups.

[@theohuioiesin6519]

Legit truly truly funny bones. Funniest mind best stories

[@marshallfox1786]

Yeah. Me too. He is hilarious and a awesome story teller.

[@frisc0strangler207]

Funniest gay* ?? 🤔

[@xxx017]

Vertical f*** trolley. 😂😂😂

[@einarhornraiser9019]

Wow.. I've never heard Rice Krispies, lube, and pool toys used back to back like that. I believe that's probably a brand new sentence never before said in the history of humanity. Congrats, Theo Von!

[@BroughtToYouByDDean]

Welcome to the magical unicorn we don't deserve. He is a God amongst men named Theo Von!

[@jessejames2546]

Reverse leg curls 🤣

[@johngilbanni6385]

TinFoil Hat hes fuckin stupid lol

[@jjarci5995]

This video is filled with so many punchlines I couldn’t stop laughing 😂

[@nestab2762]

"Sometimes if you smell honey you can't just sit on your hands" 😂😂😂

[@chrisaraujo4634]

“If you want to land your face in some of that local sweetener” move over Shakespeare

[@sethhirsch_]

“A lot of bad local gold” 😂

[@randypoffo5634]

Some say he's the wordsmith of his generation

[@toteispoe4]

He's the Thomas Edison of Expression, the Albert Einstein of Ad-lib, our Harriet Tubman in this how-dare-you-laugh-at-that time. Gang gang to the genius of gab.

[@claudebalz8576]

“Black and Dicker “ omfg 😎😂😂😂

[@DCfreerunner]

Two grand says he will get a couple of swinger invites from this video

[@vagabond8111]

Why two grand?

[@DCfreerunner]

@@vagabond8111 its more than one

[@80robertoandrew]

Man I love the way he tells a story 🤣 I laugh even before he makes any semblance of a punchline. He’s so naturally funny.

[@george4407]

What ever he says after “that err” you know it’s gonna be fire

[@Youve-Got-This]

This has got to be one of his funniest stories... perfect delivery 🤣🤣

[@zacklarson2918]

This has the cadence of a joke and the feeling of a sermon

[@ericpark8956]

“Go get em, black guy! Terrance forever!!”

[@Playhard31210]

Dude I'm all ears when you talk. You're stories are amazing.

[@TheNDex]

"Terrance forever" go get em lol

[@dextermcgrubbin]

Great material

[@guinnessharvey4476]

This guy’s use of language is just glorious:)

[@hotpiegravy382]

I will never look at Wheat Thins the same after this.

[@tomm_m_m6378]

Damn , Some seriously dark artistry

[@guitarsz]

lol

[@ZomBSnatcher4671]

Theo tells the best stories you have ever heard...I can just imagine how much fun it would be at a BBQ or get together. Just to sit back and let him rip...

[@haroldthommen3296]

Thank you for existing Theo

[@benisontenison8225]

I love the words he chooses and the order he puts them

[@SnowPiercer1975]

Lol, Theo just has that thing....that indescribable way of telling a story that puts you front and center. Dude needs to write a book if he hasn't already

[@noahs1510]

nice camaro

[@SnowPiercer1975]

@@noahs1510 it's actually a 67 Firebird...but thanks

[@Kennypowers51]

Nice Delorian

[@SnowPiercer1975]

@@Kennypowers51 88 MPH !

[@HiGlowie]

Nice Chevy Tahoe

[@joswangskrt3922]

“there was something vibratin down there and that couldve been the hammer. that couldve been the dark artist down there”

[@robroy5729]

this was pure gold. i laughed the whole time. thank you!!

[@jessklay8594]

Dude this is one of the most entertaining & hilarious stories I’ve ever heard lmao

[@reidmcm7334]

“ puffy adults “ best adjective ever. LOL🤣

[@racheller8753]

The finale!! 😂 Lol! " ... good evening, after noon and other times!" ❤️hilarious!!

[@ouiberawlinz1892]

Cracking Me Up Theo!

[@timetraveler6247]

Theo reminds me of Huckleberry Finn 👌

[@paulfroelich1024]

Very true. He's so offbeat he reminds me of Norm at times, which is appropriate since Norm loves Huck Finn.

[@Trantaloid]

I remember seeing Theo at the comedy store years ago, visiting LA by myself. I saw him hanging out after and gave him a compliment, funniest stand up ive ever seen. I was sitting alone, and as he was leaving he came up to me and told me goodbye by name. Huge fan ever since. Then the next day i googled him as i had lunch at some burger spot, found 'Crank Texts' and spent the rest of the meal looking insane as i maniacally laughed alone almost in tears from the stories. If you haven't checked out his crank texts they are a hidden gem. I can't believe how one individual is so funny.

[@reggieimages]

OMG - 9+ minutes of pure gold.......love it

[@thekromekitty]

Theo is always good for a smile 😊

[@biffboffo]

Theo’s delivery is getting really dialed in. So good.

[@WV_Mudpuppy]

I'm dying, my two favorite snacks are wheat thins and Pringles haha

[@RGTomoenage11]

I see honey ;)

[@angiemmorris1978]

thank you, i could listen to your voice all night

[@nicogreco6665]

😂😂😂. “There was a vibration in the middle of the twister party, had to be that black dagger, that midnight meat” Ahhh Theo, you’re too poetic and funny!! I’m dyin!!👍😂✨

[@nachyomoney3598]

"DeWalt"... "Black and Decker"

[@CallMiRizzla18]

That Dark Dagger I’m crying 😂🤣😅😂🤣

[@boxofpleasure]

Theo, you inspire me..you're a fucking treasure brother

[@joshuamay5696]

LOLing at this entire video. Theo Von you rock bro

[@user-rn9cs1kp3t]

Theo my good man, thank you for that. Needed a good laugh.

[@ramboeastwood1522]

"Terrence forever!" Lmao

[@HueyFreeman14]

Theo looks like the Kinda guy who would do all the adult activities at a swingers party

[@kawasakikillerj944]

You're hilarious. The way you put your words together is so creative and funny. You have to be the life of every party.

[@malkinmalone]

He’s a true original.

[@eliaspuebla9015]

Theo you are the truth

[@JoeyD_AU98]

You had me at Wheat Thins. 😂🤣😂

[@ba8501]

What a great storyteller!

[@terencesingerline135]

That story made my morning! I was laughing so hard …

[@zillthegoat1293]

I just found out about Theo Von a few days ago.. I would say since then I have watched like 10 hours of videos about him LMAOO Hes fuckin hilarious & the fact he talks about all this crazy shit like it's normal/ w a straight face is even funnier

[@brisonwolf7669]

You're like a Mitch headberg without the social anxiety. Hilariously creative but you're a wonderful story teller. As much as I laughed, I'm mad this doesn't have more views

[@donmeyers2631]

Thats actually a perfect comparison

[@Mastaace]

@@donmeyers2631 huh? Mitch did complete one liner-non sequitors. This guys complimenting Theo on storytelling, which is NOTHING like Hedburg. What part of that is a good comparison?? If he'd said like Mike Birbiglia, that would make sense.

[@kathleenchapman3890]

@@Mastaace I thought the same thing. His comedy is nothing close to Mitch. So bizarre...Theo is taking a page out of Uncle Joey's playbook and it's working! Love Theo

[@EliteWarrior13]

Theo actually has quite a bit of social anxiety and it causes him to act out

[@brisonwolf7669]

@@EliteWarrior13 perhaps I should have worded it "with less social anxiety." You're right James! I meant it more in the sense of his style of humor.

[@patrickquinn5939]

This guy has a great way of pontificating 😆

[@austincato6085]

Bro lake of the Ozarks he really ain't lying

[@isaaclaflam1321]

This story reminds me of “Boombox” by The Lonely Island 😂 “EVERYBODY STARTED HAVING SSEEEXXX! The music was way to powerful” 😂

[@tanktexas]

Take a shot everytime theo says "swingers"

[@bobloblaw9791]

tanktexas I don’t do heroin

[@tanktexas]

@@bobloblaw9791 hahahahaa

[@Yafunnyco]

Okayy

[@slowsti0535]

I love any story he tells.. real or not.. hilarious

[@peckerwood4770]

so good !!

[@peckerwood4770]

sometimes you got a be the baby bear you cant just sit on your hand lmfao..

[@gabrielsanchez7511]

Always funny stuff meng

[@christopherw2233]

You know things are about to get wild once Theo says one time.

[@JDPower-ej3rx]

Gotta stick that lil Theo in everythang, gang gang

[@jamesherrera7291]

I didn't even know how big of a laugh i was building as he described the smell. Then it was how he said "elevator" is what tipped me over the laughing edge. Incredible!

[@raidernation9920]

Damn Theo, the way you told that story made me feel like I could smell the day old Chinese food left in the trunk. Good shit

[@ogwhistlepig1061]

“The dark artist”, he is hilarious

[@NoelBuller]

Theo "Don't swing that way unless you got Triscuits" Von

[@tonycruz9026]

Swingers Club & Wheat Thins!! Great Combo!! 😂😂

[@ajmartin9093]

I died laughing in public when Von started talking about sitting on your hands 😂😂

[@moreofawave]

I bet growing up with Theo must have been a constant crack up session.

[@PochoNews]

Luv ya Theo! Not in the “I just had 5 shots of tequila and a celery stick and you’re the dip” kinda way but youuuuu knoooooow!!!

[@XRPXLM]

I’m crying right now literally

[@ovoseidel5720]

The leg curls is wild

[@gregmacdonald3559]

You have a gift brother, a poet without a doubt! 🇨🇦❤️

[@ROFO79]

I’m from the same town as Theo, Covington Louisiana. Years ago Captain of the Sheriffs office wanted to have a wedding. My brother had a big house at the time and asked to get married there. So a ton of cops had a wedding at my brother’s house. Turned out almost all the cops and their wives were swingers coming on to everyone at the wedding party. Made for a very strange night with a bunch of drunk cops who you have to assume carry.

[@thinkingagain5966]

That town must be full of degenerates

[@ROFO79]

Thinking Again 😂

[@nachyomoney3598]

Sounds like a degenerate cesspool... sorry for your night... I'd rather be stuck in a Steven King book than have to go through what you did...

[@DizzyRewind]

Against the law to carry while drinking

[@abegianaris4496]

GET IN THERE

[@cygnus1179]

Dude you are hilarious. A national treasure.

[@Buk99]

Theo, you are the king of the baby bears, baby! 😂 Gang(Bang)Gang

[@brennonolson7650]

I always laugh so hard when Theo throws the word local in

[@GiantChihuahuaBrand]

The best!

[@chancesakovich3511]

What a lovely story.

[@donpettyandthespacefakers1798]

This is a detailed story he’s fucking hilarious

[@roger.bhutan]

I’ll never buy or eat wheat thins without thinking of you Theo, wish you were their spokesman that would be incredible haha

[@genXcripple]

lmfao 😂 Describing that elevator I’m dying

[@morethan3756]

The Dewalt, the Stahl, the Black & Dicker😂😂😂