The Terrifying World Of LOOKSMAXXING - Incel Obsession Turned Tiktok Trend

[@syntaxerror396]

This video found me at the right time. I'm 17 and have never felt uglier, i've been stuck on the looksmaxxing side of tiktok and youtube and it truly is hurting me more than helping. I'm so tired, I do everything I can to take care of myself and it still isnt enough. My skin is horrible no matter what I do, and I feel like I need cosmetic surgery to even look somewhat normal... my entire teenage life all ive been focused on is looks. The second I turned 13, it all went downhill and I stopped living all because of looksmaxxing on social media. Please just try to love yourselves, its hard I know, but I'm trying too.

[@christhedoll]

I'm 54.. being a teenager/20's was the worst.. try not to let all these fake tiktokers and youtubers bring you down. If you can, focus on things not on the internet that make you happy.

[@ocmaria]

I am so sorry you are hurting. Offering you a virtual hug, please hang in there - I hope you can recognize the good parts and focus less on what you dislike about yourself. You are worthy!

[@protect_trans_lives]

This sounds stressfull a.f. I'm sorry that you're in this situation. Thank you for being open about this in your comment. I bet a lot of people will feel seen because of that. :) Try to be kind with yourself, if you can. + I hope you'll be in a better place soon.

[@honeybee347]

As someone who felt 'ugly' when I was a teen, I look back at photos at myself back then and regret how hard I was to myself. I promise you, it gets better. Stay at your own pace on making changes . Ignore the people that reinforce those insecurity best you can. You can do this.

[@itsonlyme4759]

@syntaxerror396 Many of us felt like we were ugly as teenagers but believe me as you get older it will matter less and less. You will reach a point where you actually don't give a 💩 what other people think. In the meantime concentrate on people and activities that make you feel good about yourself. Above all remember YOU are enough, YOU are worthy and YOU are loved 💜

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

It’s fascinating how the incel movement mirrors the feelings of inadequacy and rejection that women and girls have historically endured by their looks, but with a key difference: where women often internalize these struggles as self-loathing, this group externalizes them as anger and hatred toward the opposite gender. That shift in response speaks volumes about social dynamics and entitlement.

[@user-oz9lt1zv5k]

Agreed, unfortunately men are now catching up with the unrealistic beauty standards women are faced with, its just branded differently

[@gimmeurkidney]

yes its actually very interesting. theres such thing as "femcels" where again women tend to view themselves as the problem where as incels project their loneliness as anger for the opposite gender. super strange how it works

[@ambersmith2612]

It’s interesting as well the immediate harm most people (NOT JAMES) clock with little boys and looksmaxxing but don’t with girls and inappropriate skincare, cosmetic surgery and stuff ( they’re just called annoying or fast) like we WANT girls to hate themselves but with boys it’s unacceptable

[@emilyk5168]

Yes. This reminded me of girls doing exercises to make their boobs bigger or the pro-Ana communities of my youth. We are moving the wrong direction.

[@patty-pat-pat]

I think thats because men go through life thinking they are the star in their own movie and everyone around them needs to fit the script to that movie, or they are met with anger and violence. How dare you go off script? This is MY movie, my life! How dare you do this to me!

[@albertqhumperdinck]

Not me wondering if I might accidentally use my gua sha too frequently only to learn that teenage boys are HITTING THEMSELVES IN THE FACE WITH HAMMERS. 🤦‍♀

[@JamesWelsh]

😩😩😩😩😩

[@Call-me-Al]

I have seen multiple xrays of old timey cobbler's bones (edit: they used their legs to hammer the shoes against) and more, and face hammering doesn't sound like it would result in good looking faces...

[@isoldelujan]

❤

[@ishathakor]

frrr i was wondering if i was too harsh with my facial massage and then i find out people are trying to restructure their skulls...

[@newsystem420]

That's it i'm gonna buy the gua sha now. Sounds safe compared to that😅😂

[@itscjhey]

James, I know you know this, but I want to reiterate it: it is SO important for a male influencer like you to be talking about this. These boys and young men will just fall deeper and deeper down these rabbitholes without someone TALKING about it in an informative, and discouraging but empathetic way, and especially someone who can talk to these young men on their level. Thank you for this video, and gosh, I hope it reaches the people it needs to.

[@lexwithbub]

Not to mention that these videos are always well researched and referenced. I can't imagine how many hours goes into preparing for these "when beauty turns ugly" videos.

[@solarts2599]

All the jaw muscle training stuff makes me laugh a little bit. My dentist has suggested I get botox in my jaw to weaken the muscles because I grind my teeth so hard at night and it has not given me a beautiful chiseled jawline, it has given me slightly messed up teeth and dreams about chewing my bite guard to pieces.

[@Call-me-Al]

@@solarts2599 I wish my dentist suggested botox, I was just given a short list of jaw muscle relaxation exercises to do before bed. I did break my bite guard and had to get another one :(

[@OscarFrosty]

lol 😂

[@sebumpostmortem]

I' ve destroyed three guards, not to talk about some dental pieces 🤦🏻‍♀️ (while having evilish nightmares, btw). If you have been suggested botox, *DON' T HESITAAAATE!!!* . It will be 2025 changer. Plus, the bright side of botox is the Cinderella effect. Wishing it will work for you as good as it did for me. Happy Whatever Whenever You Celebrate🧛🏻‍♀️🖤!

[@mftarik1255]

You a real one for grinding in your sleep 😤😤💸💸

[@anadubar4819]

Same here. I have bitten through each grind gard, and my jaw looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger's. But I'm a woman, so ...

[@thatveganchick668]

I’ve heard a wise man say, “Perfection doesn’t exist!” 😉

[@lucyfer6g6]

What ?? I thought he says "makeup has a theory"?? Strange........

[@thatveganchick668]

@@lucyfer6g6 😂

[@quackitytheasker9977]

​That's Robert Welsh bestie? 😭 ​@@lucyfer6g6

[@mimz1173]

🤣

[@T_ootie_x_P_atootie]

Haha wonder who 😉

[@Kaeracter]

Seems like "soft maxxing" is a term to make the whole idea more approachable. It actually reminds me of some tactics cults and other high control groups use to gently, slowly attract new people to their ideology. I think if a parent finds their kid using the term soft maxxing to describe anything they are doing, they should intervene to change the mindset asap. The incel community would be such a horrible place for young people to stumble on.

[@JamesWelsh]

100%. It’s like….an excuse people use to get into it too. Like oh it’s just self care! Next thing they know they’re hammering their faces

[@protect_trans_lives]

I mostly agree depending on what you mean by intervening. I don't think you can "change" a kids mindset. Maybe just talking to them about it and assuring them that they aren't alone is a better approach here, but maybe thats what you meant anyway.

[@ishathakor]

@@protect_trans_lives tbh i think you can change a kid's mindset. obviously you aren't gonna convince them overnight but kids are very young and still usually quite open to seeing new perspectives. i have gotten my cousin who has been dealing with tween hygiene problems (around that age a lot of kids become really gross and start neglecting hygiene) to change her mind about washing her face by talking to her about it over a few months. she used to think it was stupid and now she thinks it's cute and fun. she still doesn't do it consistently but the entire way she approaches it mentally has changed.

[@thebabythesavage]

@@protect_trans_lives Intervention could mean therapy. What a difference it could make for someone who’s just developing body dysmorphia, instead of doing so when they’re visibly suffering years into it.

[@StafonSalon]

lol soft maxing is the same as: take care of your self, shower daily, brush your teeth daily, comb your hair daily, dress nice daily, clean your face, etc.

[@bmet102]

The thought of biting on a towel gives me a visceral reaction of disgust. The idea of that texture on my teeth 🤢

[@leannahelena]

Same I had a literal ick face when seeing that 🤢 it always gives me flash backs of those little cotton rolls the dentist shoves in your mouth 😭😭

[@CharlieHorse4363]

SAME

[@holliemichailidis2951]

I shivered thinking about it.

[@BeautyLoveHair]

Instant nausea

[@jameshopkins503]

It freaks me out that you’re gonna rip a tooth out or something crazy like that. Yuck!!! Made me very uncomfortable.

[@stinkusbinkus8758]

I used to think i was hideous until one day I realized I was comparing myself to people whose literal job it is to be conventionally attractive. I guarantee you, ESPECIALLY if you're young, you're normal looking lol. You're being force-fed content of people who fit the mold telling you how to shove yourself into it. I have a big nose and no bone structure whatsoever, yet here I am living happily and loving myself because my distinct nose and moon-face are what make me recognizably ME. Don't tear yourself apart trying to fit some impossible standard. Be a kind human being, and people will be drawn to you regardless of your jawline or your canthal tilt or whatever else. Goodness radiates from much deeper.

[@ARareAndDifferentTune_13]

Hey, the moon is one of the loveliest things to ever exist 😌😌

[@cupiedoll9759]

Well said!

[@sairenxo]

Beautiful message ❤

[@sharimeline3077]

For some reason I find big noses really attractive. Not everyone does, of course. But as my mom used to say, "There's a lid for every pot." Meaning there's a match for all of us.

[@jameshopkins503]

Amen!!! Preach!!!! You said nothing but truth and in a way that’s easily understandable to young people. And also I have a moon face, you’re gonna love it when you get older and have no wrinkles cause your face shape is perfect for looking younger longer. 💗

[@ImTrIgGeREdd]

It’s quite funny that they think it’s their looks that are the problem and not their generally terrible personality. They’re focusing on the wrong problem.

[@panthera50]

🎯

[@JayBobert-h1l]

acting like looks dont matter is just as stupid as they are. By the way personalities can't be changed on a whim either so that's just a dumb point all around

[@Dondraper87104]

Cope looks determine how your personality is percieved Talkative and unattractive is viewed as annoying the other way around you're viewed as outgoing just as an example

[@ImTrIgGeREdd]

@@JayBobert-h1l I never said they don’t matter, but at the same time, you can’t ignore that a lot of these guys are just plain ignorant. Saying the only problem is women don’t find them attractive is placing the blame on women, not the fact that they treat us poorly.

[@sjejsj7615]

For someone to figure out their personality is the problem, they need people interested in them in the first place. It’s not hard to believe that looks can be a factor , that’s just ignorant

[@piedpiper1201]

all these guys are using ai, filters and photoshop to change their photos too, its scamming

[@JamesWelsh]

Such a scam

[@anderson-gb8rp]

Really? And women don't do that? Also MAKEUP.. HELLOOOOO!!!! You're an id!ot!

[@blip-2024]

Like the unrealistic standards set for girls by heavily edited/photoshopped magazine covers over the past 50 years. Breaks my heart to see kids suffer. Growing up and puberty are hard enough without all the online stuff they are slammed with these days.

[@roxassora2706]

That also feels like catfishing.

[@SabSab-mg6qm]

I am so thankful social media wasn’t around when I was growing up.

[@cuervojones4889]

Amen!

[@osteophagus]

It's so sad because the vast majority of the guys I've seen in those communities look perfectly fine and any "weirdness" is normally just teenagers in their awkward phase that we all go through or are pre-pubescent and obviously aren't going to look like a grown man because they're like 14. They won't/can't admit that the reason they're forever single is either a) their personalities or b) bad luck. I have a friend who is lovely and just the sweetest girl but she still struggles to date. It just be like that sometimes, it doesn't automatically mean there's something wrong with you. And every man I've seen on those sites that I wouldn't consider attractive myself, I've known or seen multiple men irl who look very much like them who are happily coupled. They need to focus less on looks and focus more on basic hygiene, health, and being actual nice guys. Making a girl feel safe, respected, and happy is going to go a lot further than looking like a magazine model.

[@sjejsj7615]

Bad luck does not exist lol. That girl is probably just insufferable when near men or not attractive. Majority of the men in those sites are probably short. Go to the real world and its easy to see that height is important

[@serafia_]

This is just all the old pro-ED things just wrapped in a new glittery wrapping paper.

[@JayBobert-h1l]

Exactly it's the same ol body dysphoria with a magnifying glass on it due to the internet. Nothing new

[@kaden59]

Exactly what I was thinking

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

Probably more like blue, black, or grey paper because it’s For Boys trademark now

[@MrsCurioCheerio]

12:18 man... handsome squidward really did a number on this generation

[@desertunicorn1734]

😭😭😭

[@sydneyharbour-bridges8090]

They have to be taking the piss, right??

[@marycanary86]

the way its intrinsically linked to incel/alpha male culture makes it double toxic. the pipeline from mewing to andrew tate fandom isnt terribly long

[@hisayasae]

The two have no correlation. You’re part of the problem by trying to tie everything to chauvinism and pro male extremism. The idea of looks being the most important thing is apolitical.

[@n9315]

​If you can't see the way the two correlate, you're probably part of the brainwashed.

[@Dondraper87104]

andrew tate/redpill/alpha male culture has literally nothing to do with blackpill/looksmaxxing, one ideology believes money/status/game/acting masculine attracts women the other believes its mostly looks/height/bone structure etc... and blackpillers constantly criticize and hate on andrew tate and redpill content all the time, you're making a correlation between two ideologies that contradict and disagree with each other

[@tr4sh.doll_]

@hisayasae you misunderstood what they said, wanting to look better or perfect isn't "political" but just like it was said in the beginning of this videos looksmaxing in particular came from an incel community, both came from an incel mindset

[@hisayasae]

@ What is an incel mindset?

[@beachfairy]

The mewing version of 'looksmaxxing' has been online for ages & seemed harmless, but the way it's taken off lately is crazy & it's just gotten more & more extreme! The subreddits have so many people who genuinely believe in looksmaxxing & it's concerning when so many of them seem to be so young. Like you said, a lot of them notice the facial changes they want because they're literally going through puberty! This is just another pipeline to eating disorders & getting unnecessary surgeries due to dysmorphia & self-hatred IMO, as if enough people don't struggle with that already 🙄☹️

[@JamesWelsh]

Yeah when I started KZbin all those years ago, mewing was popular then too! Mewing can have some issues like TMJ(?). But it’s rare so I edited it out of the video lol

[@JamesWelsh]

And yesssss 100% agree that it’s just another pipeline to disordered eating! Honestly it’s like the 90’s all over again

[@albuszx]

It's just like this kind of toxic environment to take a medical theory about muscle force and bone development and turn it into something totally appearance focused... and yeah, it's been around for a long time, I remember the TV ads for that horrid "exercise ball" you'd bite on

[@Baranaiidaa]

I had the exact same thoughts! Its jus another way of "idealising" eating disorders and body dysmorphia. Another thing that hit me watching this video is that its a lot of teenagers/young adults "promoting" it. Mewing has been a thing for a while, but they forget to consider that a lot of men gain more structure and define facial shape as they grow older. Meaning that theyre potentially hurting themselves for no reason :/

[@sebumpostmortem]

FR. It was called "posture hygiene" (at least in my language in the past century) and it was not just this or that but a proper body alignment from head to toe (literally, toes included😅) wich happens to result in a more aesthetically pleasant presence but that was never the primary goal. It was health and avoidance of pain. 🧛🏻‍♀️🖤

[@wetookachonce6021]

As someone who is a teenager, looksmaxxing seems to be just a big meme. I see everyone in school joking about it, but no one really seems to take it seriously! Edit: I know there is a small percentage of people who would take it seriously, as there is with everything. Was just sharing my experience to give people hope! :) Are y’all even bothering to read my edit lol

[@lindyloohoo]

Tbh good to hear. Teens have it hard enough already

[@kirbybike]

Most people won't take it seriously, but the most vulnerable young people will and they are more likely to get too into it and hurt themselves. Then they'll get made fun of online for being so gullible that they took it seriously, when nobody gave them the education to avoid getting tricked in the first place.

[@teri2466]

Good to hear!

[@ducky19991]

I was thinking the same, im older gen z but my sister is younger and I mostly only hear it as a joke

[@Jess-737]

Most women don’t take plastic surgery seriously either (I don’t know a single one). But we all know there’s that small percentage who take it to the max. The TV show Botched exists because of them.

[@loveit7484]

Wow. I had no idea this was happening. As a female it pains me. To me, the most attractive quality of a man is their acceptence of themselves, their humor, confidence. Heres the thing looks may attrack you to someone but if there is nothing else, it gets old. Ultimately, the most attractive quility in any gender is people who are comfortable in their own skin. This is a sad trend. Thank you for sharing this information.

[@janedaniel7288]

As a Nanna to ten including a teenage boy, this literally scares me. Being a teenager is rough. I remember the bullying that continued after school. But I could go home, close the door and leave it until the morning. Thank goodness. Now it is continuous, twenty four hours a day. Hitting yourself with a hammer is not going to give you chilled cheekbones or jaw. It is going to give you a whole lot of pain and infection. It will get better. Try to improve your life by joining in real life groups that interest you. Be that music, gaming, acting or sports. You will meet more people, who appreciate you for you. Honestly it will get better. Put your phone down and, be brave and join the world where people care about you. Like you as you are. Sending hugs.

[@Lunapple1]

I wish you were my nanna. Your grandchildren are lucky to have you

[@MikuHatsune159]

to me, it's just the masculine side of creating self-image problems, just as much as the BBL or slim thicc or whatever looks we popularize or make trending. disturbing stuff but it's just sad that how far it can go will ruin lives.....

[@blaah9999]

Wait LooksMaxxing isn’t just buying all your makeup and skincare at TJMaxx?!

[@SteffiHenri1992]

😂

[@amanchoudhury8135]

😂😂

[@get_egg]

i wish omg

[@5und43]

😂😂😂

[@shakirashipslied9721]

😂😂😂😂

[@strohhut_tufi]

I'm realising that men's hard maxxing is just what women have been doing for at least the last decade. Just nobody called it looksmaxxing we just call it the beauty industry and normalized it as its socially acceptable for women to do whatever necessary to look as beautiful as possible...

[@sharky99]

Im so glad social media was BARELY a thing when i was 17-24. Its so hard being that age anyway but now with everything you see online... so rough.

[@wr3ns.d1ary]

i have two brothers (fraternal twins) and one of them did speech therapy age 3-10, part of that was “tongue on the spot” (basically mewing) whenever he would see sticky notes we had put up everywhere or while watching tv. he did it for a few hours a day, and of the two has the softest jawline (they have around the same body composition and do lots of sports). if it would of worked for anyone it would of been him since he started so young

[@LadyBelladonna5]

My daughter had tongue tied release surgery and tongue to spot is part of her myofunctional therapy. I've noticed too that her jaw is looking softer as her tension lessen. She also did speech therapy for years.

[@avalonzukowski7571]

Thankyou for sharing this video. As a mum of two boys, these trends can be worrying.

[@ladygravenly]

Agreed!

[@skyerainart]

I'm 30. I used to be so obsessed with my looks when I was a teen/younger 20s. I'm so happy I learned how to be happy with my unique features, my double chin, focusing instead on caring for my skin and inner peace. It is SO freeing to not care what you look like (comparing yourself to others) but instead how you feel

[@localonionseller8556]

ya got a wife?

[@kateg22]

Happy Holidays to you and yours James!! Thank you for all of the information, inspiration and entertainment.

[@JamesWelsh]

Thank you!! And to you!

[@Crispr00]

Can you do the same but for women. Someone in the comments said it best but it’s wild that when it’s men, it’s “omg poor them” but for women it’s “skincare” “self love”, even though they’re glamorizing plastic surgery, injectables, etc aka looksmaxxing but for women

[@liyah.]

True

[@sydneyharbour-bridges8090]

Seems way more vicious than skin care/self care angle

[@Crispr00]

@@sydneyharbour-bridges8090 which part ? The plastic surgery or the balloon fillers ?

[@Kmoonee]

Significant change can happen when you redirect your energy toward stepping away from social media. Much of what people see and compare themselves to online is not reality. It’s essential to have more conversations about how easily our brain chemistry can be influenced and how susceptible we are to distortion.

[@kvarner6886]

"Male grievances" may be my new favorite phrase. Thank you, James.

[@BeatriceCowley-x4p]

This is worrying because you're so vulnerable when you in your teenage years and as you travel through your early adult life (boys and girls and young men and young women) Anything that tells you or simply implies your not good enough is so dangerous. Few of us are lucky enough to be 100% happy with how we look. We don't need anyone making our insecurities worse. We are hard enough on ourselves. Some of this stuff sounds like torture

[@Pugetwitch]

0:27 can I just take the time to say I love your accent🔥 a lot of times, especially on KZbinrs channels, the narrators can come off as so contrived, but your voice in particular is that wonderful blend of syrup and sass that I need!🎉 I hope you have a wonderful holiday season And get all the best gifts that you've been needing!

[@kambitions]

He needs to read audio books or do those sleep podcasts! Can we start a petition here

[@kateg22]

One of the perks of binging James Welsh videos on a sunday -- Getting to see this post this early!!

[@JamesWelsh]

🥹🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@rootsm3]

The documentary on the Mew family is really wild if you haven’t seen it. “Open Wide”

[@JamesWelsh]

Omg nooooo I have to watch it!

[@mummysyummy1978]

@@JamesWelshi just saw it’s on prime, but not available in the uk😩🤦‍♀️ if you find it anywhere, can you let us know please? Xxx

[@ollieshark]

This moved so quickly into extreme body horror with the at home surgeries and HAMMERING.....

[@birdbrain1279]

The funny thing about Mewing in particular for me is, that its just how i hold my tongue anyways! Im not a teenage boy and very glad that the looksmaxxing comunity has no affect on me, but when i found out about mewing i was just shocked to see that these young people actually think that something like mewing will change their facial structure. Now the reason for my normal tongue holding position ist because im zhe german. Because (as it turns out), the language you grow up with hugely influences the way your mouth, jaw, and tongue are positioned when resting. While i, for example, keep everything closely pressed together, other languages would have the jaw more slacked, with the tongue not touching the roof of the mouth. Learning this is also of great help for me when learning the pronounciation of new languages and how dialects work. While American english is more at the back of fhe mouth, almost the throat, with a lot of room for air in the middle section of the mouth when speaking, german heavily uses the front and the teeth while speaking, which also results in the stereotypical sharp german accent, becaus we often dont have enough room for the vocals and over use our teeth for what would be softer sound like the popular "th".

[@TansyBlue]

That's really interesting thanks!

[@baileepond125]

I was confused when I first heard about this because this is how I naturally hold my tongue and mouth and I thought everyone did.

[@thebabythesavage]

This is actually proper tongue posture! I SCREAMED when I found out that’s what everyone was referring to with the term. I shared my horror with my dad and he was like, “Lmao are you looksmaxxing??” 🤣 Like weird, when your upper and lower jaws are aligned and supported properly, your face looks better? Who could have guessed? I bet you feel better, too! /s 🤣

[@sebumpostmortem]

Soooo true! I can speak usamerican without moving my lips and alles gut. Spanish or greek? Impossible. Or possible but sounding like if the dentist had given me too much anesthesia😅. Spanish speakers from América, for example, (especially Ecuador, Perú and Bolivia) place the tip of their tongue between the teeth visibly when they pronounce /n/. It is super brain glitching for us (spaniards) because our ears listen No no no! but our eyes see /θ/o, /θ/o, /θ/o! 🤯😵‍💫 I think you may find interesting the brilliant "mouth acting" of Mary Elizabeth Kelly. She can detect and recreate microscopical articulatory details. Such a delicatessen for phoNERDtics😉.

[@Pinchinstar]

Started with mewing, wound up with an interesting conversation about dialects and mouth posture. Cool!

[@talithamarko4291]

Thank you for sharing this, as a parent of a preteen I would have never known about this. And the way you explain it is very easy to understand. I have done my best to explain to mine that there is actually no such thing as perfect, oh except for the first element on the periodic table. And normal is a scary thing to be because most people I have seen "claiming" to be normal are actually miserable, unhappy, and on the brink of going crazy.

[@josephiaw]

this is so sad, kind of reminds me of what I (female) had to go through in the 90s/early noughties growing up. We all grew up with eating disorders, mental health issues and severe body dysmorphia... i thought we wouldve learnt by now.. its even more intense for these poor boys with scoial media

[@sherrygadberryturner9527]

😞 Humans may be at the top of the food chain but we are the STUPIDEST animal. 😭

[@emmal7227]

I love this video. I also grew up in 90s/2000s and I think it’s worse now because there’s no escape. You’ve always got access to the internet and bullying is way more common, which kills confidence and leads to searching out these fixes. Then the algorithms make them think this is normal. Even if they don’t think it’s right or normal they can’t escape it. I will say one big improvement is there’s way more people talking about body positivity. We were all trying to starve ourselves at school and there was no message of our bodies are perfect just as they are.

[@T_ootie_x_P_atootie]

I think bullying was pretty common and brutal back then too we just didn't see it in online form. I agree it is harder to escape and it pisses me off it just got LOT WORSE since millenials. Tiktok is cancer fr

[@lemurella]

It really helps to know that this is being talked about. This was what used to scare me about many young women when I was their age-and it's utterly terrifying to find it's spreading so much among boys, too. The angrier and more frustrated they get about being 'rejected', the more difficult it's going to be for all to stop being complete axxholes

[@MG-op5rl]

So much information! I’d heard about all this before but never had it presented so thoroughly. Thank you.

[@aimeecentaine]

This stuff scares the crap out of me - I have a nephew that turned 13 this year and is possibly exposed to stuff like this.

[@poshdelux]

I don't know about you but I'm more into book-maxing. Because once my looks start depleting, people will like me for my company.

[@hannahlee9989]

This I can absolutely get behind xxx

[@sebumpostmortem]

Book-maxxing deserves to be ™️! 😍💫

[@Rosiew86]

Thank you for covering this subject, as a mum to 2 boys I think it is so important to discuss this x

[@Jenni-bx1qu]

I never understand that thing. I have a great jawline and people say I'm good looking, but I still had a traumatic life. "Uglier" people had a better life then me. Not to cry about it, but looks aren't really everything. It's just how it is.

[@scuttleport549]

I'm what one might charitably call "charming" looks-wise. It was such a relief when I realized that well SOMEONE has to be the ugliest person around, why not me, I can usually handle it. Looking good has its perks but it's just a part of the mess that is life.

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

The face hammering thing totally started with somebody pulling somebody else’s leg on 4chan Like that sounds like something somebody there would joke about doing

[@FishnizyIzzy]

From a medical point of view, I am curious about permant damage to the tissue of the face with frequent hitting with a heavy object. I can imagine rupturing of the capillaries, lose of feeling and movement, even hairline fractures maybe? Damage to lymph drainage and glands..... insane.... I wonder what they will find in the future

[@stacia1525]

Thanks James. This was very interesting. I hadNO idea that these sites targeting males. Wow! That hammering footage was shocking…

[@coolmatrix15]

If only people do emotional intelligence maxing first. Looks catch people's attention, but a good personality and emotional maturity are what makes you unstoppable.

[@CreekSideLagotto]

My kid is 12 and he’s aware of what this is he doesn’t really care but he knows. And now thankfully I have a better understanding. Thanks James this was really important to know.

[@onceuponabrokenheart]

I’m so glad my boys ain’t anything like this and dgaf about peoples opinions. I’ve taught them that all they need to do is exfoliate and moisturise! They love who they are and don’t strive to meet anyones expectations when it comes to “how they should look”

[@thebabythesavage]

So many of these issues people have with their jaw alignment should be addressed by an orthodontist, not chomping on a towel. 😩 My whole face looks different post-orthodontics and it feels a lot better too.

[@inkasaraswati7625]

Dentist here... This is an example of "if x works, then it will be medicine". No orthodontists hammer their patients because that's not how bones work. Bone remodelling needs slight but constant pressure, hence permanent appliances or removable ones that you need to wear for 20+ hours per day. Posture do have an effect on bone growth (for example, mouth breathing) but the key here is growth, means it only works on certain cases and only on children.

[@aliyaf9869]

@@inkasaraswati7625if that works then can this technically get rid of bone spurs? I have a bone spur and it’s not doing me any harm but I still get concerned sometimes as it might grow bigger. I’m trying to be cautious because I don’t want it affecting my life

[@inkasaraswati7625]

@@aliyaf9869 Definitely not. Bone spurs are abnormal bony protusions, they are brittle. You'll break them off and that will cause other problems.

[@bullymaguiresdirtsupplier]

​@@inkasaraswati7625Only on children my ass lmao. Such fucking ignorance even as a so called professional is honestly laughable. Whenever someone shares about what changes their face went through after practicing these things it's always the 'oh you just went through puberty". Yeah puberty didn't do shit for 18 years of their life and then puberty started making a difference the day they started doing these things? Lmaoo and it's the same case for every one of these people?

[@bullymaguiresdirtsupplier]

The life of a genetically gifted or cursed human is something the average human can't even fathom because they'll never get to experience it themselves. So all this shit seems incoherent to them.

[@ruthx2614]

Thank you for this thorough explanation. Being a teenager in the era of TikTok and image based social media apps must be a nightmare.

[@larrytron1992]

This was a great video James! Merry Christmas and thank you for covering that deranged and harmful movement I have a grudge against the manosphere for what they've done over the years and somehow got away with it

[@gtg488w]

Omg biting a towel gave me straight chills of discomfort down my spine, it’s like nails on a chalkboard negative sensation.

[@lydia8779]

Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I’m raising a teenage boy. I need to watch out for stuff like this.

[@RuthDeane]

I’m so glad I grew up before social media was a thing, even before internet use was mainstream! I do feel sorry for teenagers who end up getting drawn into communities like these online and believing their only worth could come from looking a certain way. It’s really sad. A really interesting and thought provoking video James 💜💜💜

[@user-rq6tw4zp4w]

Looksmaxxing is so toxic, ugh😑

[@FrzxDrago]

Black pill is toxic, You all just didn't catch the beginning of the trend, just food diet, skincare and gym tips

[@LauraLudens]

Those forums remind me of the disguisting "pro ana" websites of back in the day..

[@jojomarch]

God this is terrifying

[@lcwagner94]

This was so thorough and well done!!

[@pinkangel444]

In my personal opinion when it comes to looks, this is just what girls/women have been going through for years and are still going through. It's interesting that boys/men would be going through this now though, they'll just have to fight through it like some girls/women did, but most will probably keep it up.

[@Snowdogification]

You are so great at giving primers on complex topics!

[@devilish_ashe]

4:02 i understand this is a serious topic but hearing james say “mewing” jump scared me 😭

[@Peets4peets]

The before and afters are literally just puberty we’re so cooked as a society

[@sheilahbuettner8452]

Oh my gosh...people are actually whacking themselves in the face with hammers? Tiktok is a scarier place than I thought.

[@joanbecenti8938]

We are headed toward an age where we might all look the same with transforming surgeries and techniques in the near future. Individuality has gone.

[@justkiddin84]

I really suspect that some of these young men are having surgery, then claiming they used a hammer. Or as James says, over dieting-resulting in possible EDs.🙁 It so sad that kids are so isolated from the world and each other.

[@HannahDWest]

Random thought here but James has such a calming voice, especially in this video. I feel like he’d be great at audiobooks :)

[@breannadelgado1546]

ahhhh never this early!!! I love your videos and content, you are so amazing. Happy holidays love💜

[@saraheubanks6393]

I am so thankful I exist in the same universe as The Welsh Twins ! You both are amazing people ❤

[@madikkenzeldafrost]

I've been unintentionally mewing for most of my life. It's left me with tension headaches and a possible dental surgery. Not worth it.

[@malaikaanjum2517]

yeah and there’s this one kid i saw on reddit who performed buccal fat removal on himself..

[@JamesWelsh]

Omg I was going to do a whole section on self surgery but it was a bit much especially as I didn’t want to post teenagers mutilating themselves 😭

[@cienciandre]

What!????

[@jenikat]

Oh no!!!!!

[@McTheOneAndOni]

Omg...

[@amanchoudhury8135]

Try finding a group of teenagers in reddit posting their picture of bone smashing looksmaxx.

[@phoenixgirl70]

The worst part is they take advantage of teenagers. We ALL including girls have years where we don’t look the way we want. We’re changing from a child to an adult so yes there might be times we don’t think we look great. They show photos of men in their 20’s to 14 year olds and no teen will look like a grown man. I remember guys in high looking like kids and then one year their body just starts to mature like crazy. You may think someone always looked perfect but you bet they never felt it. You see yourself differently. You’re growing so please don’t damage yourself. One day people will start giving you compliments or attention. Many great looking men looked goofy growing up, same with girls! We’re all changing. Just let it happen! And nobody loves you for your jawline. If they do they’re still immature AF. They need to grow up. Just let them go their way.

[@alfredmeneses5496]

IMO mindset is the big difference when it comes to defining the line between self-care and self-sabotage. It’s important to learn to love yourself and accept your perceived “imperfections” and realize that you are not alone in having qualities that make you unique and not like anyone else. Social media makes it so that the world is perfect, the person watching the media is not, and therefore the person needs to do something about it to “fix” their imperfections and until they do so, they can’t love themselves. In my experience, my relationship with the gym and food was so toxic when I did it for the purpose of bettering myself because I didn’t think I was “good enough”. But when I changed my mindset to working out and eating well because I already love and accept myself and feel I deserve to treat my body well and to elevate myself, then that made the biggest difference. It opened me up to skincare and soon after makeup. But I didn’t get into skincare and makeup to “anti-age” and hide my imperfection, but rather to embrace the process of aging and enhance and amplify what I believe makes me already beautiful and amazing.

[@DutchIsraeli]

This really gets to me. Poor kids. Girls were never safe from this, but now boys too..? What are we doing to them? 😢 from a 50 year old mum of 3 teenage boys.

[@jessicazaytsoff1494]

I was hoping as a society we were going to have a more equal culture but instead the dangerous beauty standards that Women/girls have to deal with got cloned, put in a blue wrapper, and remarketed.

[@donnakawana]

I'm captivated by your voice... And the stories you produce thank you

[@ladydbldbl]

I had a physiotherapist suggest this tongue placement to help my jaw with TMJ at 17 and it is a habit I haven’t changed. It helped with pain, but at 53, I can’t say it’s done anything for my features. How interesting to learn what this technique has become.

[@faebaby122]

I had no idea there was a communtiy in which being called a "Chad" was a desirable thing. I've only ever heard it used as a way to describe someone who is obnoxious, entitled, broey, audacious, etc. Thats wild

[@andreamiles9325]

Some of this women go through all the time. We're judged by our looks and is evidenced by the use of botox, fillers, brow tattooing etc

[@sjejsj7615]

Everyone is judged by their looks . Yes women are judged more but most of it is easier to change

[@LottieTrueman]

@@sjejsj7615 It is not easier to change...yes men go through it too but ours are not easy to change they require plastic surgery...thick body type but not on the thighs or stomach just on the boobs and bum (double ds)...thigh gap...big eyes..big lips...HOW IS THAT EASY TO CHANGE? Tiny dainty button nose..should I go on?

[@hydrocharis1]

Doesn't make this less bad though. Indirectly for women as well (through incel culture).

[@dianarose2683]

I remember when I used to troll incel forums back in high school and college (graduated hs in 2016). Looksmaxing was a thing for them back then. It’s been weird seeing people normalizing that and mewing, since those all were incel things back then. A lot of incel language has been integrated into the younger gen’s day to day lives and it’s absolutely wild. You’d see posts talking about mewing next to posts about how terrible women are on those forums back in 2015.

[@ladygravenly]

Male representation of beauty pressures is equally important. Thanks for this.

[@AmSuperBlessed]

Thank james for posting this video for our young men. Please keep posting these kinds of videos. It will hopefully save a lot of kids.

[@galaxieflora1078]

I used to think the rise of social media would actually cause more realistic and varied beauty standards because anyone can post whatever (not just a select view decided to be on magazines or TV/film etc), without the approval of men in suits or a need for photoshopping. This is the case in some circles, but overall, it feels like beauty standards have also gotten stricter and in some cases, even more bizarre and nitpicky.

[@gorgeousguerilla]

The same white men in suits (or rather men in stretched t-shirts) control all the algorithms. Also, social media are in reality just a space for advertising/propaganda and big money-making machines.

[@notsojharedtroll23]

The truth is that everyone converges to achieve the ideal of beauty because your facial beauty is a good indicator of your genetic quality, and the gist for men is that you realize that women are the ones that subconsiously choose the man and want the best of the best to mate with. The detail to be very conscious of is that most of the methods explained here are inherently genetic, and the only way for many to change their structure is surgery. And for many men, to be at least at the level for dating: money is not it, personality is not it; its looks. And for young men, their main way to improove their sexual life is by definition, to improve the way they look.

[@cuervojones4889]

All of this crazy "maxxing" stuff makes me glad I'm old and I just don't care anymore. That's just too much for young people. Social media is traumatizing our young people.

[@johanneshalberstadt3663]

Nothing about "Looksmaxxing" is about selfcare.

[@JayBobert-h1l]

Whats it about then

[@sjejsj7615]

Gym, showering, brushing teeth, haircuts etc are self care 😂

[@inkasaraswati7625]

​@@JayBobert-h1lselfcare is caring for yourself (revolutionary, I know), while looksmaxxing is about punishing yourself because you're not good enough to attain an impossible standard.

[@whollitrolli]

Tell that to your 10 step skincare routines so you'll stop aging

[@3li.mp339]

@@whollitrollino correlation

[@bjarkluis]

Thank you for this! I’m currently preparing for having to undergo double jaw surgery to save my jaw joints and teeth. I’ve been frequenting the jawsurgery subreddit to learn from others’ experiences and get tips for the recovery period. It’s an incredibly invasive procedure, recovery is lengthy and brutal, lasting nerve damage is almost a given. And yet, there’s been a worrying increase in young men posting on the sub, convinced they need this surgery for purely cosmetic reasons and willing to go into tens of thousand of dollars in debt for it. They wholeheartedly believe they will never be loved or happy if they don’t have that ideal jawline. Their desperation is both heartbreaking and frustrating.

[@coco63626]

This is so interesting. I've heard the term on passing content but god i didn't know it went this deep.

[@rarafarara]

The way my jaw dropped when I heard "subhuman"... That's a really, really cruel thing to say...

[@terminalius]

That's how women see men under 6 feet or ugly men

[@_Heisenberg_I]

Why the f do u care? Do you die when they don't see you as a partner does earth stop rotating?​@@terminalius

[@helenelittmann8875]

My observation has been that young men can continue to develop jaw line through their 20s, so that people i was in college with could look quite different at 30. Whereas by and large, women get their adult face by about 18. Also that teenagers can be miserable because they are a little bit slower in physical or social maturity than some of their peers. But honestly everyone kind of catches up and usually finds their people in young adulthood.

[@NettleAbsentmindedly]

For women it usually changes gradually until their mid 20s

[@sebumpostmortem]

As a female, my very last skull movement and buccal fat pad loss was at 23 and a half yo. I did the exact same make up every day in the exact same place. Overnight, I found myself trying to remove a greyish mess from my cheeks. It was a natural shadow🤦🏻‍♀️😆. Plus, I had 4 extra post-Christmas kgs. When I came back to my weight, I could not believe the chiseled hollows until somebody told me "This is your official adult face. Welcome to adulthood."😅

[@liyah.]

Both sexes actually go through multiple puberties but yes the jawline thing is correct

[@FinnySpam]

the fact that tiktok pushed tons of young teens vids' yr way once u liked 1 vid is concerning for predator reasons. thinking back to the "ana coach" days myself.

[@erinbailey4631]

As a dental professional the face hammering and towel chewing really concerns me….. the chipped and broken teeth… 😮

[@kristyp2585]

Thank god I grew up before ocial media. Its tough enough being a teenager with out all this other garbage to worry about.

[@TaylerBootz]

It feels like the world is getting worse and worse. This is so depressing.

[@alexisasheep6554]

I feel like we need to talk more about guys and body image/dysmorphia. We talk about it all the time with women, it's no different for anyone else. We're all just human. Also in general just don't trust this incel shit, if they don't see women as human then they don't see each other as human. Why else would they have that bizarre rating system? In what world does that make sense?

[@stephaniehuthmacher4214]

TikTok, and the internet, have really messed up people's minds as to looks and fashion. There is not one way to look, one body type, or one way to dress, that is better than another. Shower, wash your hair, wash your face, brush your teeth, and wear clean clothing. And be a good person. That's it!

[@DanielleGillespie]

Thanks for this deep dive! My 16yr old son keeps talking about looksmaxxing. Now I can look out for dangerous stuff! A few years ago he was going down the rabbit hole of red pilling with the likes of Andrew Tate! I was able to get thru to him! We had conversations about that of course improving yourself is something everyone should do! But not in the way that is negative towards women!

[@shortcake66]

I’m sorry- “At-home orthodontics”…?!?

[@maryeckel9682]

Yeah, that was a head turner!