The Truth About Losing Friends in Your 20's | Letting Go, Cutting People Off & Forgiving

[@HotHoneyAndSpice]

I nearly cried when you said we haven’t met everyone who is going to love us yet. Thank you for this. I’m in my 30s and have recently lost 2 friends that I’ve had for almost 20 years. It hasn’t been easy but I still cherish the time we spent together and look forward to making new friends and sharing that friendship love again. 💕✨

[@KA-cm5mb]

That's a very healthy mindset

[@rehnaanliker5931]

I’m loading my best friend I’ve had for ten years and this makes me feel a little less alone in that ❤

[@tv-21]

Hi seestas

[@perfectlynormal.]

Hey- this was 8 months ago now for you. Just wanted to remind you of this message you sent to see if your future self has made any new connections! Hope u have- I’m hoping I will soon too. And if not, we still have yet to meet all the people we will love :)

[@merin887]

I feel you

[@mitchelltynes1042]

My lesson: you can do all the right/supportive things, with the wrong person. If you put the effort in and see that it's not being reciprocated or approach them on their level and see its not working, you can't make them engage with you. Even if you are doing what you need to. No need to get upset or want them to value you, let them go.

[@Shanoxxa]

I lost a friend of 16 years this week because I have set boundaries. Honestly it was a long time coming and I’m not even sad about it. I wanted to do this for a long time now and this week she had shown me how selfish, childish and hypocritical she really is and I’m done.

[@viciousreasoning504]

Literally had the same situation a year ago! She was never really a good friend and there was no progression in her life. Im so happy she is gone

[@22Sarai22]

I literally went through this 2 days ago, I was shocked by how it barely affected me. That showed me that my heart already moved on..

[@rae6962]

I have a thing to really cut people off because I don't want people lingering around when they are not beneficial to me in any way

[@sunnni_]

I am 26 now and I am currently learning its okay to lose friend's as I grow in my personal journey in life. Not everyone is meant for our journey and we aren't meant for theirs. I believe I found two solid friends, but I am excited for this journey of life and the people I will meet.

[@random-zd1bs]

im 23 and i feel like my friends are all slipping through my fingers. i had such close friends at school and struggled to make friends at uni due to being introverted and shy. i thought at the time, it doenst matter, i have my home friends. they pretty much all moved on with uni friends and boyfriends, and i see one or two every couple of months. one of my closest friends from years started taking over a month to reply to me, over and over agian. i stopped texting, and she did too. we were extremely close friends for about six years, had been through lots together. i still think she's a wonderful person, and it makes me sad to think it ended like that, but a year has passed, and by now, we're miles apart. ive since put a lot of effort into making new friends, and have had some success. but without a strong foundation of years of freindship, i end up with a few weak friendships i maintain to pass the time, but that aren't especially fulfilling. it's a lonely time without a partner either

[@gabbymuwema9407]

omg i feel you!!!!!! literally in the same situation as you It's honestly so sad, and I'm just so worried that I'm going to end up alone for the rest of my life

[@SS-cu8se]

I lost a childhood friend last year due to (what I think) was different expectations of friendship. She felt offended that she didn’t know certain things about my life, and I didn’t feel like she was entitled to that information (if I want to keep something private to myself, I’m entitled to that). I just think we were at different maturity levels. I know that sounds condescending but I feel like she still viewed friendship like we were in our 20s and under - the years where you share everything. We are now in our 30s and I have a husband and child - I don’t feel like I need to share everything anymore and i guess I’m no longer interested in friendships where “closeness” is dependent on how much personal info you know. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company and not be too sensitive about petty stuff. That’s my new philosophy lol.

[@theohsospontaneous]

This is interesting. What would you then say determines ‘closeness’ in a friendship? To a degree, shouldn’t your friends know what is going on in your life- maybe not to a minute degree, but to a degree?

[@gagabuah]

Can we be friends? Dont mind this !lol

[@SS-cu8se]

@@theohsospontaneous yes i think there should def be sharing of information if one party wants to share etc but I feel like things get tricky when a friend feels entitled to certain information and therefore gets offended if you don’t tell them. To me, that’s when the relationship becomes codependent and a bit immature. If someone did not tell me something, there is a reason they chose not to, and I would never get mad at someone for not telling me something. If i felt some type of way, I would just re-examine our friendship and go from there. I wouldn’t cut the person off, I wouldn’t angrily say “why didn’t you tell me?” As if I’m entitled to know. That’s too messy. If we are grown women, we have our reasoning. I would accept that and still try to enjoy whatever good comes from the friendship. You don’t gotta throw a whole person away just because you don’t like one thing about them. That is why there is a loneliness problem. People are quick to cut and then be sad there’s no one around. You’re better off just lowering your expectations, re-examine the friendship and enjoy the good at whatever level you’re comfortable with. And not take friendships too seriously. Just enjoy the good and live your life.

[@publiccoffee3652]

seems like y’all are too different. she didn’t grow into that mentality, of being apart of a friends journey. she has a sisterhood type of thinking, and I won’t bash her for it. she just needs to find someone who would be as close as she was trying to be with you. idk

[@SS-cu8se]

@@publiccoffee3652 I def think you are right! I just wish she distanced herself instead of ending the friendship. I have a feeling in a few years she’ll realize she didn’t need to be so emotional and dramatic about it. But the damage has already been done. And to me, she’s burned a bridge. And I take that stuff very seriously. It’s just a shame all around. Guess that’s life though.

[@baepy]

them friendship breakups hurt so much 😢

[@nickeshajohnson3936]

It hurt most when you are the one who mess things up🥹

[@touche8020]

I had to unfollow a bunch of people I met at uni. Most of the people I followed were either acquaintances or “close” friends at the time. I’ve moved away after graduating and started focusing on my career, health, and investing. I started to notice most of them never really respected me back then and asked myself ‘Will I ever see these people again?’ and ‘Is there any point having them on my socials?’. At this point there isn’t. Once you gain self respect for yourself, you will want what’s best for you.

[@nonik3093]

I also, realised that the friends I had were from school and we drifted apart, I think that we accommodated each other because of the situation (school). And now, I find it hard to make new friends because of the failed friendships and opening to someone again and feeling disappointed when things don't work out 😞 it's disheartening. Thanks Courtney, I appreciate your content ❤.

[@samihakhondoker2456]

i miss her presence because she has a friendly face and i miss making her laugh but i realised that in order to truly get along i couldnt cuz our life styles are too different

[@SS-cu8se]

I LOVE your maturity in regards to friendships! I absolutely AGREE. I don’t believe in cutting people off or burning bridges, but I have noticed this type of advice being pushed online. At the end of the day, I would rather be atleast neutral with everyone, than cut ties with people and completely remove them from my life, so much so that I wouldn’t even feel comfortable saying hello to them in public. I think the latter is so dramatic, messy and unnecessary. As you said, sometimes life happens and people drift apart, but that doesn’t mean you need to exit people’s lives in dramatic ways. I honestly think people who do that are immature and will eventually regret their actions years down the line. At the end of the day, it’s always nice to see an old friend and catch up, but you can’t do that with someone you had a messy falling out with. I love your message and agree with everything. I just hope people are intentional about keeping the peace or adjusting expectations/closeness in friendships, rather than cutting people off. To me, the latter is unnecessary.

[@xoxosisihere]

I just turned 29 a week ago and I’m still struggling to find my friends.

[@Wahsoep]

I feel that. We need a community

[@tendizhou]

Ohw Courtney God sent you to upload this just for me because when i tell you i am currently heart broken as i accept the loss of a friendship of over a dacade or even more than half my life. And i was literally searching sermons inline with this because im so shattered and bitter and sad angry everything u name it lol

[@Danishaa777]

same here but we got this!

[@Danishaa777]

God will bring us our genuine group of friends .

[@tendizhou]

@@Danishaa777 we do Amen

[@CourtneyDaniella]

Awww man 🥺 I’m so sorry to hear this and I hope you find your people soon ❤️

[@justeb6612]

I want friends so bad but it seems really impossible when it comes down to it. Especially when I'm going the extra mile to try to make a good impression yet and still somehow get rejected seemingly. I'm not shy. I go out to places by myself regularly (I don't have friends,🙁) bars, lounges, concerts, and vacation. The people that I meet along the way admire the fact that I can go places and do things on my own but I feel so forgettable to others yet entertaining for the moment and the vibe that their friend group is looking for... I've tried looking inward as far as my personality is concerned to see if I give off any red flags, but so far nothing really. But for the most part, I think it's cool that you have beautiful people come and go in your life although not all of them were the best at the time it still taught you something.

[@MaddMelloo41]

I connect with this comment 100% Feeling entertaining for the moment but also forgettable and just not that ingredient that the group is looking for

[@cherry-qm8pf]

I relate to you so fucking hard with everything you’ve said. Going out alone and hoping to be approached and establishing more than just a compliment or small convo but hey :/ we’ll have our chance ❤️

[@justeb6612]

@@cherry-qm8pf thank you so much! I still don't have any friends to this day, which I'm kind of still bummed about, but I've learned that my experience is different from others and yet I'm able to go out to explore/ have a ball regardless! 🙂 I've created so many fun memories for me, myself and I ❤️

[@LuvKitKatt]

BRO IM THE SAME WAY

[@BetweenThePagesWithLouLou]

As a 40 something I really needed this video. I’ve had a friendship of 30+ years that is no longer functional for both of us. For the past few years we have been drifting apart and this video has helped me how to navigate the conversation we need to have in order to let go and just move forward in a different way, if at all. Thanks.

[@Maria-gd4vf]

you're so beautiful, I like your skin and your makeup is next level 😍

[@CourtneyDaniella]

Awww thank you so much ❤️

[@fatenshaaban2556]

My best friends of an about 10 years has randomly stopped talking to me for about 1 year now. It still makes me sad when I think about it as i truly don’t know what I did. She just ghosted me after I got married earlier last year.

[@rosamard1436]

I have literally the same situation, I got married early this year, and my best friend, who I know from almost 8 years, has stopped replying to my messages, I try to make contact with her, but she does not reply as often as before, to the point that I feel like I may be bothering her. She was a maid of honor in my wedding and now I feel like we are strangers, I even feel awkward to speak to her in person in parties and such (as we also had a lot of friends in common). I am having a hard time letting go of that relationship, I can't help but feel sad when I learn more about her life trough social media than in person.

[@jadeamah]

There should be a GC for Women who want new friends.

[@IshaSharma._]

I agree

[@dnicaw]

That would be good

[@margaret.c.phiri.]

Yes yes yes❤

[@margaret.c.phiri.]

How do we create one? Instagram or WhatsApp?

[@mercyjohn9734]

I also want in even if I live in Tanzania but a virtual friend will do

[@kemiquadri1708]

I'm in my 30s and this still applies to us also. Stay blessed sis x

[@onyinyechinwokoro8010]

The way i clicked on this when i saw it. Thank you for sharing this video. The topic is something i've been dealing with for a while now and the part you mentioned about "not having met everyone who will love you" has given me so much hope.

[@CourtneyDaniella]

❤️❤️❤️ I’m so glad it helped

[@tianipowell4254]

Thanks so much I needed to hear this message. I’m coming into my 24th year next week and am feeling my typical birthday blues because I’ve felt it’s reminder of how alone and lonely I am. Inner self work has been transformative but isolating at times and honestly I think this is the first time in my Life where I am genuinely excited to put myself out there to find community and true sisterhood. I’m so looking forward to pouring into others and finally allowing myself to be poured into. I’m trusting in god and in myself for the first time and I can’t wait to see what comes next for me! Thanks again for this video!❤

[@akeodafe532]

Thank you for sharing this video , I’m 21 and I’m navigating the friendship grounds . And I’ve learnt that it’s okay to decide who I want to be in my life and who I don’t , being scared to cut off with people that are clearly not meant for me or intentional about the friendship as I am . It’s okay to let them go . This video really did it for me , my older sister tells me a lot that I’m yet to meet all the people who would love me in life , and hearing a confirmation from you was the icing on the cake 🥂

[@Mara.Isabelle]

I trust you too & hope you were cleansed from that cry! sometimes we just need to cry it out, rest & watch our favourite childhood movie 🖤

[@jadeamah]

I think I’ve outgrown my Uni friend but i don’t know how to go about it because she’s been such a good friend to me lately. I just feel like we’re not compatible like before.

[@chiiix33]

Keep in contact with her, but see her less and less. It will naturally fade over time.

[@MINIMICKEY]

I think this season I’m in right now is teaching me that I desire deeper, meaningful, genuine friendships.. friends that are not only there when times are good but are there when times are really bad and will be there with you in the mud to pick you up when you’re down if you need it without you even having to ask for it. Just dependable, reliable friendships.

[@Wahsoep]

Where do i sign up

[@amberrose6946]

I had a cousin I was really close to as a child completely shut me out.. she started trying to shut me out 10 years prior, because she blocked me on every social media site except fb at the time.. I didn’t really care, I still sort of associated with her, but the ball really dropped when I chose to text her congratulations on her engagement instead of posting it on fb.. when I had no service for 1 and for 2 I wasn’t even on fb the day it was uploaded, so I didn’t see it until a week or so later.. well she got so offended that I wasn’t even invited to the wedding, I wasn’t wanted there. But the thing that gets me is she never congratulated me on my college, or even came to my graduation.. but Our grandma fell and that was the only in person contact we had prior to the wedding, and while I was standing there just us, she told her sister some people here won’t be invited to the wedding and they’ll be so mad.. it hurt me pretty bad, I just walked off and stayed to myself. There was no reason for that comment, even if I wasn’t wanted there. I just don’t understand why Facebook is soooo important, more important than a meaningful text. Especially when you’re in a place that had 0 internet service. I think personally, it was just an excuse to drift away, as like I said we were on rocks for about 10 years. It was just associating because we had family together. We don’t associate at all anymore, she doesn’t even come out to see the grandparents. It’s whatever though, I really appreciate this video. It made me feel better about my situation. I appreciate you.

[@cherry-qm8pf]

Thank you so much for this. I’m 19 turning 20 this year and I’ve always lost friends yearly but.. the ones that I have now hurt the most because I can feel us outgrowing each other. I was used to things being quick and cut short suddenly but things feel like a slow and painful realization now

[@knyarko1994]

Friendships is one of my favourite topics and Courtney I really enjoy the book 🤩. I love how you speak about it especially when you’re transparent about it because it’s such an interesting topic and conversation to have and I could talk about this for hours with my ‘certain’ people. Even when you speak about relationships I love it as well it’s just so interesting to me.

[@CourtneyDaniella]

Thank you so much for this my love, it’s always encouraging hearing your feedback ♥️♥️

[@TheWriterRonke]

Why do your videos always come at the right time of my life❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@CourtneyDaniella]

Awww thank you ❤️

[@sunflowerjoy333]

Courtney I love you! currently going through a phase of isolation and loneliness but God is in control I know that

[@brooklynnyc]

yes, i've been on a tangent on searching videos on navigating friendships. and this just really is true, past friendships can definitely mold us. I just hope to keep remolding myself into something better for those around me in the future, true change is what matters most. loved this✨

[@elizabethokoth2983]

This was helpful for me and I'm in my early thirties. Intentions is a very telling thing in how you show up for people and how they show up for you. I also purchased the book to read. Can't wait to dive in and learn some gems.🌻

[@SZAliaBanks]

You are very gifted. God bless you and thank you so much.

[@Hilary945]

I have no further interest in "seasonal people"

[@sydonie22A]

Yes 😭 but I’m praying to God for my sisters🥺❤️🙏🏽

[@elsiec.h9794]

This is one of the most timely videos I have come across so far. It really does help me center myself and understand that some friends/ people are just seasonal and the art of letting go and letting it be. Thank you Courtney.❤

[@beatrice4162]

Such a beautiful, insightful video!

[@alexandrasalas1198]

I love that lipstick so pretty!!

[@micchae1a]

This was so helpful, Ive just finished first year of uni

[@TomiwaRodia]

Needed this! Thank you ❤

[@jadeamah]

You look absolutely stunnning, your hair, makeup, SKINNN wow you’re glowing and looking beautiful ❤

[@nickeshajohnson3936]

How to deal with a friendship break up when you are wrong?😢

[@ItstheGodinme_]

I absolutely love the content that you produce. 💯 Keep up the good work

[@bubblegumhanna]

Wow! Honestly one of the best videos I’ve watched on friendships. Thank you for your wisdom! #subscribed 🤍🙏🏽💫

[@CiataJolie]

I’m subscribing cause of your makeup! Damn! It’s perfect, so subtle and blends in so well. Nice video too, I was thinking about this before I came across your video!!!

[@Simply_ybs_]

Perfect timing sis!🙏🏾🤍

[@CourtneyDaniella]

❤️❤️

[@alijahmwenyo2159]

Ive had a friendship break up half a year ago we kept on fighting and we had like an all girls group and we fought there then me and my other friend decided to make a group without her bc we were so mad, it was called 'All girls group without---bc she's annoying' Ik it was such a dumb thing to do and now I regret it and then we blocked eachother and then a few months later my other friend made a group and added her and we became friends again but then one day I fought with the creator of the group and she defended me and then the creator (My best friend) send her screen shots of the group I made with my other friend when we were mad and I tried explaining to her why I made it and she was not having it so then she blocked me and the girl that send the screen shots kept apologizing but idk if we should still be friends and the next day my friend told me that the girl i fought with is trying to encourage my other friends to not be friends with me so then I completely lost it,my friend added me to the group the girl I fought with and I said Alot of mean stuff (I deeply regret it) bc I was mad and her mom got involved and yeah and ever since the I can't stop thinking about her bc she was an amazing friend and I messed up badly

[@peacheyearth]

Such a helpful and lovely video! Thank you!

[@gabbyg.7054]

I really needed this today!! Thank You 😊

[@waliyahsadiku306]

This moved me. Thank you 😢

[@sheryldeerberg1737]

Had to watch this twice 🥹thank you for this video 💗

[@AbsoluteMdot]

My best friend of over 15 years has been acting distant towards me for a while. She acts like she does not want to be bothered. I did not do anything wrong to her. I just don't get it

[@taii_chii6782]

Try and reach out if you find it’s one sided let it go. You wouldn’t want someone who won’t contact and speak to you in your life

[@taylargrant3604]

Thank you so much for this ❤️

[@VampireLoveHunter]

What a beautiful video thank you!!!

[@ItsEverythingEuodia]

For everyone looking for friends tell one another which country you live in and which state/ province you live in. Then get one another's instagram handles and hopefully you can find a friend.

[@lxmtmxmt1057]

your words are healing❤

[@ashleyn2457]

Wow this video! So many gems indeed ❤️ I need to read your book!

[@CourtneyDaniella]

❤️ I hope you do and you enjoy it

[@ashleyn2457]

@@CourtneyDaniella thank you so much ❤️

[@margaret.c.phiri.]

I needed to hear this Thank you❤

[@sharonmburu9700]

I noticed your video quality is crisp and matte, do you record on ur iPhone? Also what setting powder do you use to achieve a matte look?

[@user-pd4bd5nm6v]

This was good God bless you !

[@Eunice.Dodiee]

Thank you for your video 🫶🏾🙏🏾

[@avanimin777]

I felt every single word 💔

[@nimahoni]

Heyyy Courtney! You're video and audio quality is really good. Can you tell me what camera and lens and microphone you use??

[@MarsEchelon27]

I’ve been watching since 2017 i loveeeeee your videos :))))

[@mikaylateresa]

Hi! Can you share how to make covers like this ? what camera do you use?

[@bkimorae]

I needed this so so bad

[@katelynvillegas9306]

I recently lost my only friend of 10 years last month I thought I would be sad because I did everything for her and found out she was talking bad about me to a guy then she barely knew 🤣 and at the end of everything he broke up with her then started making fun of her looks and calling her a snake …. Was it worth the 10 yr friendship with someone who genuinely loved you? 🤣

[@danijelacar_xo]

I miss my friends from high school…

[@mariakoma5203]

Wow ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@natashamwamba3468]

❤️❤️

[@MINIMICKEY]

Thanks for sharing your video and words of wisdom. I’m 27 and currently navigating through friendships, trying to figure out what I want out of friendships as well as be a better friend to the friends I have now. Letting people go and just loving from a distance isn’t easy but I know that the people that are for me will stick around. 🤗🤍 Love your video.

[@standinmyworld.]

🤍🤍🤍

[@samihakhondoker2456]

it feels scary ngl

[@jackiegranados6321]

as we get older, we're ALL gonna have different experiences in friendships/connections with people. my personal experiences in friendships is that people come into my life for a reason or a lifetime! I still have friends from elementary school, high school and college I feel like it just really all depends on the people you met. yes it may not be the same to hangout with them on a daily basis or even hangout with them in general but that's just part of life. doesn't mean y'all gotta stop being friends over that

[@fabbarnes]

Ugh, I relate to this so much - turning 27 soon and still struggle to find a handful that reciprocate and aren’t toxic. I’ve tried Bumble, in person chit chat, and it’s a struggle. I appreciate those that were there but now I’m surrounded by flaky ppl and it triggers me, causes me not to want to even bother smh. Pray for me, still looking. 🫶🏿

[@agnesnathalie]

I needed this so much! Thank you 🙏🏻

[@CourtneyDaniella]

You are more than welcome ❤️✨