The Truth About Singleness: Unanswered Prayers and Perfect Timing

In a topic very close to her heart, Rita delves into the unfiltered and painful truths that come from living in the tension of unanswered prayers in the realm of singleness. How do we deal with the disappointment of still being single, and grappling with the enigma of God's perfect timing?
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Chapter Markers
00:00 Loneliness and Isolation
00:58 Introduction to The Topic of Singleness
02:08 Understanding Singleness
03:00 Societal Norms & Expectations
05:00 How Rita Responds to Her Singleness
06:24 How we Journey Through Singleness
08:35 Acts of Faith in Hope
12:35 When God Doesn’t do What we Think He Should do
14:15 Hearing the Voice of God
16:20 Holy Spirit Vision in Therapy - Asking God for His “Perfect Timing”
18:44 The Reason for God’s Perfect Timing
20:00 “Perfect Timing is Laced With Peace”
22:00 Why Are There So Many Single Women?
23:00 Loneliness in The Bible And Desire For Companionship
26:50 Waiting on God’s Timing in The Season You're in
29:30 Processing Loss And Grief in Seasons of Our Lives
30:50 Zechariah and Elizabeth’s Story - Luke 1
33:00 The Humanity of Grief With Longsuffering of the Soul
34:30 God Understands The Condition of Your Spirit
36:12 We Can Choose Obedience
37:00 Remaining Steadfast
38:10 Praying For God to Raise up More Godly Men
39:30 Stop Questioning Why People Are Single
41:00 Rita’s Resolve
42:20 There’s a Better Way
44:20 Rita’s Encouragement to Singles
Music Sync ID: MB01UITICJB72ZN

[@RitaSpringer]

Have you been praying for something and had to wait longer than others?

[@magdalenamartinez6907]

Yes! It hurts that God hasn't answered it.

[@Beauty4Ashes8]

Yes! Not just for a marriage but many things! @magdalena, it truly does and breaks one down but here's where I find peace; I have presented my request or petition to Him, now it's up to Him even though I feel I need what I am requesting or petitioning for in my now!!!! He knows my needs more than I do, He's called for me to cast my cares, so I literally cast my cares and try to stay sane and absorbed in worship seeing other things He has done that I might have asked before or not!

[@SheridanAnne]

Yes and yes! God lead me into missions when all of my peers were settling down and starting families. I think comparison has been the biggest hurdle for me- not comparing my life to others. It's okay if my journey looks TOTALLY different than most of my peers, and vice versa

[@hayleytearall]

For healing from mental and physical health, and to meet someone and get married. I'm only 29 but it scares me seeing everyone else live their lives while I'm just waiting to be better / have someone to share it with. I love your use of the word 'companion' as that's exactly it!

[@888hereandnow]

Yes! I was thinking about how John & Elizabeth had waited so long....but look who they ended up being parents to!?!?❤💥🎉

[@LavishHim]

I am 72 years old and still single. God has never pointed out to me why, but one day in my early 50s I knew that it would never happen and accepted that. The freedom I have as a single Christian has given me hundreds of blessings in other ways. As a worship leader since 1988, I’ve had the freedom and blessing to lead others in worship, and write worship songs that have been successful, with nothing getting in the way of either of those desires or obligations. I’m sure when I get to heaven Jesus will tell me why, and for now I am content. I consider myself blessed to serve where God has sent me without hinderance. Amen!

[@paigehughes7557]

Powerful cause that takes so much out of one. Only God can truly answer to that. But when He separates us unto Himself there are benefits included. …💭

[@jameslinmd]

​@@paigehughes7557it's not always God who separate us unto him. Sometimes we missed it. Even if you've never been married, it's ok. Most people in marriage want out and vice versa. Just be happy and make the best of your life.

[@benchillwell7498]

YOU WOMEN MAKE EACH OTHER PROBLEMS WORSE ,I can't believe the advice im reading it's not too fxcking late for you ma'am lower your standards that's where the biggest problem is for you WOMEN looking for a Disney fairy tale in a the real world If this is you standards wise 6ft ,6figures ,6inches u might as well say its done for u .look outside your surroundings and count how many men meet any of the visible examples I just gave

[@TeixeiraFernanda88]

Thanks you for sharing this!

[@neicycarlasquire]

I Love this... Accept and Surrender to his plan even when wanted something different..

[@jmy7799]

I waited a long time, got frustrated, took matters into my own hands, got ahead of God - and ended up married to a literal sociopath. The marriage was a total nightmare. We had a child, and I am raising her alone. It is not easy. She has his brain and narcissistic tendencies. Life has been made so much more complicated because I didn’t continue to wait. Waiting was lonely. But the toxic marriage was MORE LONELY.

[@blusky7]

Thank you for sharing this with us here. May the Lord help you and give you peace and strength to walk this life🙏🏻

[@miressiebeauty5127]

My heart goes out to you. Being with a narcissist can be very challenging. I pray God will take care of you, as you navigate your life daily.

[@shahrazad8523]

Thanks for sharing this. May Allah compensate you

[@Shaara1]

🙏

[@CappieBG]

Pretty much the same happened to me and it was a Narcissist too which could only be described as a demon ( but somehow perfect at the beginning) and funily enough the moment she started ,,acting up'' the first time I had all sorts of attacks from all sides including ,,tarot readings'' popping up with 100% accuracy I mean the list was endless. People came into my life to tell me we are all God, christ conciousness and how special I am because of my ,,zodiac sign'' but until I cut her off ( with the Lord's help) I was in supernatural town. I thought I lost my mind at one point from the stuff I've seen. Satan really does appear as an angel of light.

[@SachelleCambria]

I’ve been single for almost 7 years because I refuse to live in sin. I’ve asked God to connect me with someone because I got tired of dating demons. I’d rather be single than marry the wrong person.

[@catherinesummers5057]

God bless you and keep you, cause His Face to shine upon you And grant you His peace❤❤❤❤

[@lauremabe4563]

Well done sis

[@Rebbyzdjkl]

Same

[@nirlainenicolas-paul5971]

Amen

[@gabbypage6929]

Same

[@kelliecordova4463]

I know exactly. I’m 46 never been married never been in a serious relationship. Always have desired to be a wife and mother. 🙏🏼♥️

[@lowellmiller6663]

May God grant you the desires of your heart. I'm 44 and have never been married or in a serious relationship. I've always wanted to be a husband and father.

[@angiemoret]

Right there with you, both. 46, have prayed for my future husband since I was 15, and then later added prayers for future children. Never married (and never imagined not being married at my age), but carrying the promise I have from the Lord regarding that. May each of us seeking marriage come to know contentment as the bride of Christ, comfort in our grief, and fulfillment of promises made by our faithful God regarding kingdom marriages (and parenting).

[@KMP1219]

I am 49. Never had a love relationship.

[@arseckler]

Me too, 46 , never married , no children & hoped deeply for it for years. Shocked it didn’t happen. I hope for a Christian husband now. I am truly enjoying building my relationship with the lord during this time now though & becoming a true Christian, Follower of Christ & reading the Word daily. I don’t feel this time is wasted now & that does feel good. Grateful for God’s love & taking loneliness away or much less. Thankful I came into comments & see so many also sharing. I don’t feel like it was only me. Thank you everyone. Excellent video. Very grateful for it. 🙏🏼🌈🩷✝️

[@rraquel2573]

@kelliecordova4463 You are gorgeous! I do wish you the best for your future. God bless you ❤

[@dontavoidthenoid]

When I was a teenager struggling with things in my life, I felt God say “worship me and you’ll be free.” My life has been nothing but struggle and disappointment ever since, but EVERY TIME I’m feeling like I’m at my wits end, I think back to those words. Once I calm myself and begin to praise Him, all the worries and cares of this world just melt away. Jesus is literally the only thing that matters in this world. He gave up everything so that I could be free from sin and be reconciled to God, I owe Him my very life and soul. So regardless of how much I have to suffer and struggle in this life, I will always worship Him because He alone is worthy

[@andrewandalisonchapman4124]

I got married at the age of 41 after what seemed like an arduously long wait. I had sort of given up. Suddenly the Lord caused our paths to cross. It was his timing…not mine…He bought me the best….and prepared me as best he could for this godly man….our lives don’t follow the usual patterns of the world….they are shaped uniquely by Him. We follow at a cost…

[@mariadominguez116]

I think that we either meet someone or we don't. God doesn't "bring" anyone.

[@McGyverFan]

​@@mariadominguez116 I am so sorry you feel that way.

[@_beatrijs]

@@mariadominguez116 ”and the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.“ ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭22‬ ‭KJV‬‬‬

[@ReLair88]

He doesn't do that for everyone.

[@vincentybarra979]

Im 58 latino male no family due to abandonment since birth ..being alone has really lead me to look to God for the love i need ..the lover of my soul 🕊

[@lauremabe4563]

Continue to hold on on him. He is love. He always near broken heart and heal dear wounds

[@angelaomondi913]

Yes he truly is the lover of our soul!

[@musicjunkieaddict6600]

Mi hermano gods timing is worth the wait I’m 57 and single aswell if our awesome god sends me someone then wonderful and if he doesn’t I’m ok with that too it’s his plan. Bendiciones 🙏

[@vincentybarra979]

@@musicjunkieaddict6600 amen 🙏 I'm a 100 % in agreement with you ..Chula 🕊

[@philominadangana5071]

It really becoming very difficult to connect with people that believe in God, it refreshing reading all this comments about trusting God, we can connect if you don’t mind

[@danielhouk7683]

I love this. I was a singles pastor for many years in a huge ministry and I’d tell the singles that we live in a broken world and being single and desiring marriage is healthy and biblical, just like wanting a good marriage is biblical. But in this broken world we don’t always see the ideal happen and God may be just as heartbroken over the single wanting marriage as he is over married people wanting divorce.

[@DT175Enduro]

Im a Christian man, age 61, and single. I can relate. It is not good for man to be alone. I have learned enough to know that the wrong women will cost you your life. And a wife is from the Lord! And ya better know the difference by being the difference. Anything before God's timing and His maturing is not good!

[@paigehughes7557]

May God lead you to His promises and open your eyes to Him

[@rhymhizsong4214]

true. 2 guys, both Jesus freaks both in full-time ministry. Took care of physical fitness, mostly good diet and no vices. One died within 3 years, the other it took 15 years after each married what friends told them was the wrong choice or hasty and brief dating to engagement times. One did not even go on a single "date". It wasn't long until they both wore the toll. I think ministers feel more pressure than others to marry so that they don't get into fornication. Seems like even they can't take it slow!

[@helenaduarte9546]

I'm single too

[@sunsetstormx]

Amen brother

[@sunsetstormx]

Amen brother

[@harajuka1barbz]

Sometimes we just need to accept God’s will for our respective lives. Some will marry and some will not. Some will have children and some will not. Some will be rich and some will be poor. My personal prayer to God is for Him to give me the strength to accept His will and accept the things that are beyond my control. I use to idolize marriage but I have made a deliberate decision to let it go. If marriage is in His plans for my life it will come to pass. If it is not then I accept. It is all in His hands and He knows best.

[@dj5180]

Amen!

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

This is the comment.

[@sharonchepkorir3571]

This should be pinned 💯

[@lilitalia777]

Well said

[@svlun8987]

Amen

[@janeylynn5934]

I'm 47, and still single. The hardest part for me is the discrimination among Christians and in the Church toward singles. Churches are for families, and even seem to favor folks who have been divorced over those of us who have never been married. (Dani Treweek has a new book on the topic, which I found very interesting.) Everyone needs Christian community of some kind, and the way the Church treats singles makes it really hard to find.

[@ntombelangandlovu1416]

It's very true it's like they are saying you failed so there's nothing as singles you can help us with,always the meetings at church is about the couples never been single meetings it's like we have nothing to offer it's like we can't hear from you singles,I have a sister who is married I cannt say anything to her when she's doing totally wrong to his spouse, when I try to show her , what you are doing is wrong she will say direct to my face,am not gonna hear from you, So I believe God opened my eyes to know that she says so because am not married,now I know my place i don't interfere...

[@janeylynn5934]

@@ntombelangandlovu1416 Exactly. I have a sister who is married, and who treats me in a similar way. The way the church has responded to single people is totally unbiblical.

[@Key-Key444]

Same. I’ve noticed this. Total isolation and shut out.?

[@elishamartin6042]

I was like this in my early 30s and got married at 35. It was so HARD being single but I had so much time to spend with God and doing his will and travel and do what I wanted. Got married and hardly have much time for any of that anymore. My relationship with God is less robust as it used to be as a single and the kids TAKE OVER your life to the point you feel like you have no life anymore and it's all about them. So I would say please enjoy being single and taking care of yourself. Marriage and kids is literally self sacrifice. The benefit is you aren't lonely but you desperately want to be alone sometimes. It's two different extremes. I wish it weren't so extreme.

[@nickiawalker645]

I’ll take what you described anyday 😅 of never being lonely and life so full I don’t have time for myself 😂

[@janice9230]

I completely understand this. I am single now after a long marriage and my relationship with the Lord is so much closer than when I was married. I'm loving this closeness with Jesus! I have never felt so close to Him! I am so happy with this time right now. Thank you for sharing your story. 😊❤️

[@shahar26]

Wow thank you for telling your testimony and opening your heart ❤ I wish every person in their 30's could read this comment ❤❤🙏 That's the reason I'm trying to enjoy this season. God has been revealing to me his will to young single people. He doesn't want us to feel lonely our unloved. He wants us to be grateful for this gift and use it for his kingdom. ❤❤❤

[@bestofmylovewhoahwhoah3239]

Thank you for this truth and reslity check. Though, I do believe and hope for marriage anf children, I do admit, I enjoy my alone time with the Lord and hadn't seriously absorbed the idea of losing that...or reducing that. Hmm

[@ked_thechosen4068]

Thank you for sharing 🎉🎊

[@ByHisGrace-]

Imagine being married but feeling the most lonely and rejected, even more so than when single. Marriage isnt the answer to all your needs. Create a wonderful single life for yourself! Maybe God has someone for you in the years ahead but if not, thank Him for all the saddness and despair in a possible marriage He's saved you from.

[@kimberlys347]

This right here!!!! Wise words! Amen!!!

[@melindaferreira9879]

Amen to that!!

[@flavia5410]

Indeed marriage isn’t the answer to all of our needs; however, may those who desire marriage have the opportunity to experience it and may it be a blessing to them. Nothing wrong with desiring marriage and not wanting to be single anymore. Hope people lonely in marriage find a way to cope with it or better, may God intervene in their marriage.

[@SachelleCambria]

@@flavia5410I agree completely.

[@yolandaholliday4964]

Amen!

[@erindyke7584]

Thank you for your raw honesty and talk about wrestling with God and getting to a place of peace. I am 48, never married and no children, so this honest conversation was a blessing. I am contending with God on His promise as He has promised me marriage. I also think someone in my mid 20’s might have been the one but his own fear and insecurity kept him single and he’s now in his 60’s. I just met a kind man a few weeks ago and he’s 54 and never married with no children. We’ve gone out twice and he’s asked to meet up again, so this might be the season where my 30+ years of praying comes to fruition. 💝

[@philominadangana5071]

I’m trusting God for this, this year

[@theharshtruthoutthere]

@@philominadangana5071 verse to those who think and see human life on earth as daily mating/dating: 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. Souls, remember: GHOSTS = DEMONS. you and your loved ones ain´t demons. You and your loved ones are ADAM = mankind, created in the image of GOD. you and your loved ones stay not around to "ghost", we return back to dust and back to GOD. Genesis 5:2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created. Ecclesiastes 12:7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.

[@remisiaheita2764]

I m turning 40 this year ,and I m always desiring to be a wonderful wife and any amazing mother. But my question is that is there a man who have never been married before like me and no children like me?😂😂😂

[@spartalane13]

Aww I wish you two the very best. Hope it goes well and your heart desires come to fruition this year

[@KimbsFabulousFitFastingLife]

Praying that it's your season in Jesus' name 🙏🏽

[@philominadangana5071]

I’m 46 , a Nigerian and lover of God, people make it seems like a disease not being married at this stage

[@ktermalkut8332]

satan the god of the worldly system has programmed society. We don't live in the worldly system and we walk in TOTAL BLESSINGS as we OBEY The LORD being led by HIS PEACE. The LORD wills that we be in a PERSONAL RelationshIp with Him where HE alone is Our Teacher and Father - Matthew 23:8-10, John 17. There ARE TWO things The LORD GOD spoke to me about - first, that I should NOT TOUCH anything roman catholic which is rooted in pagan sun god worship and is in ALL christianity. You should seek The LORD on how to be in total OBEDIENCE to Him. Second, HE told me that the RIGHT THING will happen at The RIGHT TIME. So I am never anxious.

[@MinnieM44]

So true!!!

[@lindaouma6396]

I know what you mean

[@shahar26]

Totally 😅😅😅

[@inkink6267]

Are you female or male? Preferences? Your spouse might be reading and want to connect. 😊

[@kimloveschrist]

My dad was a widower but met someone and remarried at 71, his wife is similar age. You never know what might happen. Thanks for this video, very well done.

[@darrellborland119]

@kimloveschrist...thank you. Same age group here. met my love 25 years ago, and we are as two peas in a pod. LOL.

[@lilarose6792]

It's not rare that people who believe in God and Jesus are single. Because we don't waste time in people we know are bad for us, or just simply don't understand us. The love a person can have when you find yourself, is not common and people are not used to be alone. That's why there's a lot of couples that really don't work well and people are toghether out of fear.

[@sunsetstormx]

Yes!

[@r.walker7986]

In think it has more to do with becoming judgemental and overly focused on ideas of perfection that don't exist or trying to find someone of the opposite sex that is as deeply convicted...

[@Jo_Cruz]

Very well observed.

[@lauremabe4563]

You can say that again

[@soldout3746]

I’m 57 and still single. This has been the loneliness year of my life.

[@sunsetstormx]

Hugs

[@trinkaslan2168]

Im a single woman too. Just be grateful with Whatever You have now. God knows the best.

[@karenreynolds349]

It's very difficult!!!!

[@gwenncoath8941]

I become lonely too, when I go places and see couples together or hear my coworkers talk about their spouses and kids. However, God had to deal with me about being content in this season. My longing and loneliness were making me miserable. He says “in everything, give thanks” (1 Thes 5:18)… not for the singleness but in the singleness, still praise Him. In the loneliness, still praise Him. In this season, still praise Him, because I believe one day this season will pass. Still praise God because He hasn’t given me a husband and kids yet, but He has still blessed me so tremendously!

[@prayedupsistah]

Same. I do a lot of work in the church...but outside of that- nada.. What do Christians do???? No one has the answer

[@rhemajoyyu]

i am single at 36 and this is blessing me. I want to live out the rest of my life content in Jesus alone

[@rahel4523]

I am married and Jesus Christ is my life and my everything. My husband accepts that I spend lots and lots of time alone with the Lord. I do not receive my life from my husband or from being married, but from the LORD alone.

[@prestontimbs74]

HI

[@nicolahirst5114]

Me too

[@greganderson2239]

💯

[@lilitalia777]

Amen! I would have no problem being single for the rest of my life. The closer I drew to Jesus after my last breakup two years ago, the more I lost that desire to date again. No more dating apps or proactively seeking a relationship. If God wants it to happen, he has to make it VERY clear and send that person into my life some old fashioned, outside social media, in church or while serving sort of way. Stay blessed! 🙏

[@RitaSpringer]

Thanks to all of you for listening and contending for the promise of a God design!

[@alexandra.mirka.]

Amen.

[@noelledayhoff4752]

THANK YOU for being here - this was totally a spirit led find. I've been praying for a true God loving, Spirit filled single woman who can speak to being single. I cried out to God as so many well-meaning friends have suggested books, reading, and podcasts from Christian authors regarding how to deal with my singleness. Every.Single.One is married.....I was like "GOD, ARE THERE NO SINGLE WOMEN CHRISTIAN LEADERS WHO CAN SPEAK TRUTH INTO MY SEASON!" This message was a direct answer to my prayer. Thank you for speaking truth into my season. 🙌❤🙏

[@misssterling3094]

Michelle McKinney Hammond is a single Christian woman who writes books about singleness. .

[@alittleoflolo]

God’s been pushing me to write a book about what I’ve learned in my singleness while I’m single and I feel like this comment just confirms why there’s a need for that. It’s so hard to receive encouragement about being single from someone who is married & often it’s written as a preparation guide for marriage.

[@noelledayhoff4752]

Exactly - I'll be praying over your words and that the Lord fill you with courage and speak to the hearts of many who are coming to peace with the calling of singleness. That God be enough and fill us with contentment and love for others. I will be watching for your book's release! @@alittleoflolo ❤🙏

[@heathercollins6464]

I needed this 😔 I’m 38 and still single. I can completely relate! Thank for you the encouragement.

[@scentcrazy]

This is probably one of the best videos I have seen on Christian singleness. Kudos for your transparency.

[@womanonamission7712]

This is too painful for me to even watch!!!! I can't give up! Don't give up everybody!!

[@FeloniousMyronius]

Wow.🙏🏾

[@Handlethiss]

It's scary and sad. Isn't

[@lisagrl89m.67]

I feel the same way! I'm 53 and still single, but I still remain hopeful.

[@womanonamission7712]

@@lisagrl89m.67 Do not give up, sister. Trust God to provide your heart's desire. God bless you.

[@alittleoflolo]

She isn’t saying to give up… she’s saying to be content in the waiting room- your hope is in God not in the promise.

[@kandice8036]

This was so helpful Rita. I’m a woman who follows God and lives for him, 57 now and have not dated in over 20 years. I realized by listening that I live with others judgement of there must be something wrong with me and have been carrying some baggage about my own singleness. I’ll bring Jesus into therapy with Holy Spirit and hash it out. ❤

[@alishaburton7444]

We share the exact same story!

[@morganhill5798]

There is nothing wrong with you! Sometimes singleness is the higher calling, which ever glorifies the lord the most. 💖

[@marthalepi813]

This was so helpful to me in my time of testing as still being single while all my peers are now having/raising great families. I didn't think of being single like have just heard from the video but if this is God's will for me then be it. I will still serve and glorify God in my singleness. I am a clay & God is the Potter. I am all the work of his hands to fulfill his purpose here on earth as it is in heaven. Glory to God.

[@r.walker7986]

If you are lonely and don't want to be single, the first step is ...dating. and no, Jesus is not on the apps. LOL. If you are cool, then its no biggie.

[@prayedupsistah]

We need to be friends 😁

[@jessicascott8780]

I was stepping into my 30's and went through what I call a mid-life crisis. All the expectations that I, culture and even the church put on me for marriage, having a family and other parts of life that "are suppose" to happen in your 20's all came together at once and I was flooded with disappointment. Thank you for mentioning grief. Mourning was such a vital part of walking through disappointment of something I hoped for and deeply desired.

[@alishaburton7444]

Well said

[@BiscuitTheDoodle]

Thank you for this, I’m reliving this pain again after a failed relationship at 35. I contended for it and it still failed. This has been the hardest loss.

[@hayleymargaret9331]

Yes, I turned 30 in 2020 in the midst of the pandemic and severe lockdowns. I would say I almost had a midlife crisis as well. Such a difficult time of my life. The grief of what you thought would happen by certain times of your life. Very painful to surrender the timing to the Lord.

[@jessasmrcd]

@@BiscuitTheDoodlehow did you deal with this? I am 34 and going through the same thing

[@7Karis]

Same, glad we can share how rough 30 was. God got me through it and now at 33 I keep telling myself, life is on earth ~120 years, and there is no marriage in heaven so either way, it’ll be good, i just got to trust Him ❤

[@feliciaciappetta342]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm 43, still single, and desired marriage since my childhood. I too was that little girl who would get the bridal magazines and cut out dresses and save them. In my late 30s, I had finally reached a point where I was content with my life, God, and whatever He had planned for me. Then last year two gentlemen came into my life, reignited that desire, yet each relationship ended in disappointment. It makes no sense to me why God allowed each situation to happen, particularly one, a reconnection with a man I dated in my late 20s that I loved VERY deeply. I didn't ask or go looking for either relationship and I see absolutely nothing fruitful from them either. I'm disappointed, bitter, and angry. I don't get it and I don't know that I ever will. I've cried and begged God for clarity NUMEROUS times. Yet, He's seemingly quiet. It's SO incredibly frustrating. And no one gets it, UNLESS they're too single and childless at middle age.

[@anitah2404]

I had been divorced over 10 years when someone I had dated at college contacted me. This time I really fell in love with him, just to have him dump me after a few months. I never understood why he came back into my life and why my feelings were so strong for him if he wasn’t the right person for me. A couple years later I married my 2nd husband but it ended pretty quickly. Now I’m so cautious I don’t even date anymore.

[@garyyoder8880]

To have one's hope reignited and disappointed is painful. You are not alone in feeling like you've invested time in a relationship and nothing fruitful comes out of it.. and sometimes I think that is just the case. Nothing fruitful. At least not in this lifetime. I don't know if this is helpful, but I've had to learn to be okay with that and trust God for the things I don't understand. It takes a fair bit of trust because often there aren't any answers forthcoming. It's not an easy thing to sit with... As to the future, I would encourage you with this..... I'm not being trite when I say 43 is still young. Starting a family? Maybe not so much. But, you never know what can happen. I have a cousin who was single until she married a widower in her 40s. She got a good man for a husband, as well as some amazing kids. They're human beings so it hasn't been perfect, but they have built a really good life and are a close knit and loving family, grandkids included. As hard as it is and as bleak as things can look at the moment, you just never know...

[@feliciaciappetta342]

@@garyyoder8880...Thank you for your kind words. They are comforting. God bless you.

[@01happykat]

I could have written this comment. After two very painful relationships with men, I am recovering from those situations. Both those men led me closer to God than I have ever been. I have learned more about myself and toxic patterns and am developing ways in which to never repeat them. That's the lesson from God for me -- it was his gift, even if it still hurts so horribly at times. I'm on the other side now, where the pain is much less and much less frequent, but the lessons and insight continue to grow. God has led me on a better path. My guess is he's trying to do the same in you. Best wishes, my friend!

[@karenreynolds349]

Oh I so get you Felicia!!

[@blazeworks]

I visited the Salvation Army to volunteer, I was in tears because I saw so many men, who nobody seem to noticed !!!

[@forgoogletotrack7181]

Sometimes there isn't perfect timing. It's simply just not going to happen, and it's best to just mourn, grieve and work through the pain to reach a place of contentment.

[@mini6595]

🌺

[@evaweber5267]

I’m single and 42. I feel that college and the world led me astray from my hopes of meeting a Godly man. I started working on my walk with God again in 2019 and now I am mourning a bit because Godly men seem to all be married already. I am so thankful God brought me back but it’s hard to see all of the couples at church. But I know I am there to grow closer to God and not to compare myself to others.

[@mantleofelijah]

I got married in my late 40s and pregnant years after my last period. Nothing is impossible with God! Truly! 🔥🙏 You are 100% right that the key was and still is intimate relationship with the Lord

[@evaweber5267]

Wow, it’s so good to hear everyone’s stories. I do wish I could just be in heaven now and not have to concern myself with any of this ☺️

[@mantleofelijah]

@@evaweber5267 it is worth the wait. I love my husband but God comes first and the decades of being on my own established that truth deeply in me. In what is to come we need that. These next few years are about to get tough for everyone. We need to be rooted on the rock 🔥 By the way I felt the same about all the good Christian men being married already. I met a man walking my dog (he was walking his dog) and I led him to the Lord through lots of chats. He’s now on fire for the Lord! So don’t give up. ❤️

[@jend6032]

Really appreciate this video! Just turned 45 and grew up in the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” era. I never learned how to date and thought it would just happen…because it hasn’t I sometimes wonder what’s wrong with me and did I miss my moment? Thank you for reminding me to listen to the Good Shepherd’s voice.

[@GodempowersMatt]

This. Omg this. same

[@sonjaanjos]

40 Same

[@SL-pe5fz]

I am a few years older and received the same teaching big time and disagreed with that approach. Like everything, we need to practice and learn from life experiences, but as Christians we can have better guidelines than what the world has to offer. Why is relationship any different? Even now I still counsel and encourage my Christian single friends to date and practice how to be in a relationship. They learned A LOT about the opposite sex and themselves, and they make good, mature, Christian choices. Not sure if that book was inspired and written to mislead and destroy...... you know what happened to the author of that book.

[@ntombelangandlovu1416]

It's true sometimes we missed the timing as for me I really suspect that I wasted my given time,then I wakeup when time was gone

[@michaelmontgomery2467]

Last Sunday my Pastor said that surrender is the portal to peace. I have come to the point that I have to accept the sovereignty of God. Let His Will be done. I pray to be content in what He decides.

[@JJ-fs8fu]

I was married at 38 and can relate to this journey. One thing I remember was hearing God say that He just wanted to be with me without anyone else. Marriage from God is a blessing but it does practically impact the amount of time you have to spend with God alone. I also believe that He does fulfill every promise, if not on this earth, then the new one.

[@melrose795]

59 and never married...It has been tough dealing with assumptions and questions from family and peers..

[@beyondtheletter9027]

Hugs

[@santasantinagatta]

I hear you, not easy comments from the peanut gallery. But what matters is quality of time- spent with the Lord and not doing ridiculous things that rob you of your salvation.

[@colettecurrier7276]

I have been struggling with singleness since my divorce. I am learning how to accept my current circumstance. The Lord has been sustaining me.

[@edjazz39]

God bless you sister Rita Springer. I'm 55 years old and a widower since March 2020. I miss my friend and my wife who parted from this world to the presences of the Lord due to covid. It has been very challenging but I can not deny the Lord has not left me through this journey. I appreciate you sharing this important of loneliness. I pray that God favors you with a Boaz. Thank you

[@danilaroche1156]

Are you going to find a wife? Your the man so you can initiate things.

[@jameslinmd]

Don't look at marriage as something you must accomplish in life. If it happens, great. If not, no sweat. For the most part, people who are in marriage want out and vice versa. Just be happy with your life and make the best of it.

[@_heyimbritt]

I think many people look at it as a desire and not necessarily a accomplishment. I think the if ot happens it happens attitude sounds great but as you read the comments many are heartbroken and seeking the Lord to ease their pain. And thank God we can bring Him those things. I always find it interesting that people don’t tell those that desire children these types of statements. ❤🙏🏾

[@jameslinmd]

@@_heyimbritt the issue is we can't force anything to happen if it hasn't happened. My experience and what I've seen tell me God does prepare marriages for his children early - usually in their twenties. If people are still waiting in their 40's, 50's, and even 60's, rather than raising their fists and getting angry at God, they should ask themselves have they missed it because they resisted the idea of marriage or anyone for any reason. My 40+ years of walking with Christ taught me God is never wrong. We're wrong. If we seek God, he will let us know.

[@65tjomo]

I am 66 and been waiting on God and celibate for 36 years. My hearts desire has always been to have a godly husband. I blame myself for being single altho I have no idea what I’ve done wrong.

[@somethinggood9267]

Get on a Christian dating website! Put yourself out there sister

[@andre1987eph]

1) overweight 2 masculine 3) attitude 4) tattoos 5) piercings

[@snowyowlz5992]

I won’t say yours was a easy path. I didn’t envision my wife’s parents trying to split us apart by any and all means using the tools of narcissism, as a pastor’s family, for their jollies from 1978 til the last one died in 2015, with her having extensive medical problems. If you’ve ever seen in the rodeo, an 8 second bull ride with the cowboy holding on for dear life, that is an idea of what we were put through. I knew there are bumps in the road of life, I just wasn’t expecting bomb craters and house sized boulders as the mainstay for a family of three in this journey of life. We were married 43 years until she went to be with Christ two years ago.

[@donitalester2600]

What you say resonates with me. At 57 years old God has made it alright. The longer I am single the easier it is to do. I find myself thinking I don't want to give up what God and I have. And let me be clear, it does not mean that I do not want companionship.

[@sunsetstormx]

Amen

[@akiram6609]

You can find companionship in other relationships that aren’t marriage. Do not discount friendships, familial relationships and faith relationships. There’s more to life than romantic relationships.

[@donitalester2600]

@@akiram6609 This is a great perspective! I had not looked at things through this lens. This is how we grow when in community with others. Thank you.:)

[@neilybugg]

You're a very youthful 57 year old.

[@wendellst2266]

I’m just a compassionate observer, I’m not single. I just wanted to respectfully poke my head in and say…I’ve counseled a lot of married people who wished they were single…. But, why doesn’t someone start an on line group for single Christians. If 10-15 of you were interested…I think it would be so meaningful. I sincerely hope you don’t let this opportunity slip by!

[@BluieBeth]

Thank you Lord!!! Finally someone who truly understands how I feel. I'm 46 and this is EXACTLY it. I don't understand and God and I argue/talk to Him a lot about this. I also know a lot of incredibly beautiful, strong, wonderful, funny Christian women and they too, are single. I don't get it either but you're not the only one. This is me too. And I have said ALLLLLLLLLL the very things you have! I'm with you. But I still hurt and am still confused. I finally had why I believed was a real word from God about a certain man. 6 years I obeyed God and I did what I thought was what He wanted me to do...and the man left and doesn't even miss me. Never loved me anyway. And all I can think is...I'm heartbroken....and God knew all along..I just don't understand. Tough stuff. thank you for this video 💜

[@harrybrown4815]

Not much older than you. But know your experience, and this is what i have learned. Gods has a really good sense of humour. He leads us in paths of righteousness and affords us time to just be in his presence. This would not be possible being in a marriage. So as much asvwe long for an earthly connection.....

[@santasantinagatta]

God is saying I want to be your Husband? Will He do?

[@lb4398]

53 here and never been married not even close....I have watched ALL of my friends and family get married including my nephews....so I get what youre saying...

[@krijadesten57]

As someone who just recently got married at 29, I’ve felt a lot this in my singleness and waiting for the man God had for me, and still have the aftertaste of it so to speak, and the journey to get here was definitely hard but also so beautiful. Thank you for speaking to this hardship that so many people (I agree, especially women) face in the body of Christ.

[@JDfaith2024]

Congrats on your marriage 😊 🙏🏻. This discussion speaks volumes to me cuz I relate so very much. 41 single never married no kids. It’s been a real struggle. I think we all came across her channel for a reason.

[@mandolinot]

first time i've heard someone say....'i have big faith for others, but not so much for myself' and on a sarcastic run to keep myself real....YES, YES, - same for me....that's exactly me. Thanks for saying it.

[@santasantinagatta]

When we get to heaven there is no marriage- so we are practicing heaven on earth.

[@themaccabee8469]

I was single as a new Christian and became desperate and made choices that lead to horrible sin against myself and trauma.. facing the fear of loneliness and fear of other issues, is hard but it’s better to be in his presence living your purpose than in the world outside the will of God. I was given multiple words of marriage and decided to trust the Lord and let it go and not be afraid… I’m 40 but my life is about to begin and I’m gonna walk with Jesus through this!

[@danielle234]

Thank you, this was great! But also, keep in mind that marriage is not that amazing. It's beautiful, but like nothing else in this world, it will not satisfy us, and it will not solve our problems. My married friends are pretty much lonely, stressed, and worried, the same as I am or as they were as singles. And the Bible says it's better to be single because we are spared of the anxieties of marriage - why is everyone ignoring this verse? I wonder if we make singleness unnecessarily more difficult just because we have marriage as an idol and we think it's so wonderful. And because we believe that being single is more lonely and it's a shame. But that does not come from the Bible. It might come from the people in the church, but it's not what God said. Singleness is actually wonderful and enjoyable, for many reasons, but mainly because we can give our undivided attention to the Lord.

[@ingelkringel]

Marriage is God's design and desire for most people. The verse from Paul is often misinterpreted to mean it is better to be single, but that was only Paul's own opinion in the context where the verse was said. It wasn't a general rule nor God's desire. It is also false that single people can give more undivided attention to the Lord - if these single people being frustrated and unfulfilled (sexually and relationally) are as they are, it may actually have the complete opposite effect. Now, marriage can be difficult and spouses can be stressed, etc, but like you said yourself, these things affect both the singles and the married. I like how someone I know says "Marriage is God's maturity plan for humankind". It is God himself who said it is not good for man(and woman) to be alone. Marriage is compared to our relationship with Christ for a reason.

[@rae-annhendershot508]

I spent 17 years alone raising my daughter-some of the BEST years of my life ❤

[@Jim-BobWalton]

This is by far the best talk on singleness as a Christian. There’s SO MUCH just plain poor “advice” I’m early 50s, and never been in a relationship, but I realise every time I try to get into dating that I’m needing more healing. I owe it to myself, my partner, and God , to be emotionally and relationally healthy. The big plus in this is that it’s resulting in a much more fulfilling and meaningful relationship with God, which is foundational to any human relationship

[@JDfaith2024]

I’m 41 never married and no children. Been struggling and fighting depression from the grief/loss of it and loneliness. Unless you’re in it or have prior experience you have no idea the impact and devastation. The way you explained how it wrestles within is exactly what I experience. It depletes me sometimes 😔. I notice now after turning 40 it happens at least twice a year. I’m working to get through the pain and hope God brings me out of it. I pray daily for his strength. I haven’t gotten to a place of peace and resolve with God yet but I’m not angry with him. I have realized more recently I probably will never understand the why until after I die. Thank you for this video ❤️

[@santasantinagatta]

God is your husband.

[@JDfaith2024]

@@santasantinagatta😊🙏🏻

[@RachelNichols-writer]

It will be worth it all in Heaven. That's what keeps me going. It's wrong to view life as nothing but God preparing us for human mates. God uses our entire lives (married or single) to prepare us for eternity with Himself. He can do that better by keeping some of us single, others in unhappy marriages.

[@JDfaith2024]

@@RachelNichols-writer thank you. God didn’t intend for humans to be alone. We are built (at least I believe) to have these things but for whatever reason it hasn’t happened for me and I’m trying my best to accept reality right now. 🙏🏻

[@Maria__57]

Until we make GOD our everything...adding marriage or anything else we want into our life..instead of making It and Idol..GOD WILL NOT GIVE IT TO US...whatever It Is that we want...The 1 commandment.. LOVE GOD ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE..❤

[@diva216]

I'm turning 47 this week. Single, never married, no kids. Not gonna lie, I have trouble trusting God in the area of relationships because if it hasn't happened by now it's hard to believe it ever will, even if it's a desire of my heart.

[@Agoraz123]

I went to a conference in Seattle Washington years ago and you were there. I was a young worship leader and loved the way the Lord spoke through you. You told a story about going out for a meal and ordering two cokes one for you and one for Jesus. I’ve been human alone for 30 years now and every once in a while I will feel lonely and at those times I always remember what you said and the Lord ministers to me there. 😊♥️

[@teabubbles4ever]

that's pretty cool :) what's your name btw? also hope you do have spiritual family that can come alongside you and hold space for these thoughts/topics!! but if not I can drop an email haha. i turn 25 if that helps

[@None-ro2ez]

Its hard. Tired. But Hanging on to the Lord. I tell God if singleness is for me then to take this desire from me to have a companion and a family of my own.

[@frostyneal4081]

This is so honest. Forgive me for so many comments to this podcasts but it is so encouraging. I lived in the gay lifestyle so many years and I asked to just fill this hole with a husband so it would be done and over. Then I began praying let me be completely satisfied in you God. Every area of my life. Nothing missing Nothing broken.

[@santasantinagatta]

God is your husband. I talk about the female side of God- In HER Image-exposing the female side of God. Amazon books by author Santa Santina Gatta- God showed me some things in this book that might be helpful to your spirit.

[@AmandavanWyngaard]

Hi Rita, thank you everything that you have shared. I'm in my mid 30s and have seen many Christian friends get married. I've struggled over the years to be genuinely happy for them to be honest... I'm a work in progress. I've been on the sarcastic self awareness program for a long time. I've been using "God's timing" as a crutch for many years as somehow it helps me to get back up and carry on with life. I too have never received a promise from God so I'm not sure what His plans are for me. I've become so independent and have seen relationships around me and it's set the bar so high, I've seen more of what I don't want than what I want that I will never settle for less. I have times where being with someone LOOKS pretty but when I think of my space, my independence my mind gets changed very quickly haha. I feel like I can't pray for something when I'm changing my tune every other day. I also feel guilty sometimes of saying "I don't need a man, I can do this on my own" so often that I think I've been reaping what I've sown :( this was a thought that came to mind recently. I have a 30th birthday party coming up - couples galore - and at first I didn't wanna go. Loneliness can be very isolating but I'm pushing myself to go. Meet new people and who knows. I definitely wanna try the therapy session and hear what Jesus has to say. I will say this this, I am happy hanging out with me and I have made peace with not getting married and having kids because I know God has some sort of plan for my life, I'm trusting in that. I've enjoyed living a pure life. Trying to live righteously has been an experience. You've given me some gold nuggets to do some self reflecting so thank you for being a woman of God who gets REAL. Xx

[@robertkendall1037]

I am single now at 69 years due to someone else's choice a year ago. I am grieving the loss still and asking God what He wants for me in this season ahead. My prayer is that I find Him to be enough for now. I love what you said about the Body earlier. I am lonely but as He said in the Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing....... And I am grateful

[@leanndey2294]

More of this, please. I have needed to hear others talking about this specifically. Not just the 20 or 30 year-olds upset about this, but people like me who have nieces and nephews nearing or in their 30s and starting to get married 🙏🏽❤️ Feels good to hear conversation about this led by someone who can relate and is honest about how it feels. Thank you so much. I would love it if you'd talk more about this, as the Lord leads 😌 Thank you!

[@misssterling3094]

Michelle McKinney Hammond is a single woman that had written many books about singleness. They are good too. She is probably in her 50s or 60s now.

[@leanndey2294]

@@misssterling3094 Oh, yes, I am familiar with MMH 😊 I meant that it would be nice to have more of this kind of conversational videos that allows viewers to share their thoughts so we know we are not alone or isolated in our experiences 😊❤️ But thanks so much for reminding of her 🙂

[@EricHillAuthor]

Rita, what a wonderful word of encouragement to singles! Sadly, the church often does not speak honestly about difficult topics. Keep speaking truth. Your vulnerability is healing to many. God bless you, dear sister.

[@VB-wg8fn]

Wow, this is profound! Never have I ever heard someone so accurately put into words the sentiment of my own heart. As a 48 year old never married woman life is so very isolating. You may not understand God’s perfect timing but I know for certain part of the reason is so you can share these words with other hurting, longing souls. Thank you for being so candid and vulnerable!

[@KMP1219]

I am 49 single.

[@tania5012]

I relate, 48 single

[@IramCoercere]

His perfect timing is never going to happen for many

[@tania5012]

@@IramCoercere what scripture is there about perfect timing?

[@magdalenamartinez6907]

I knew several men that were not save, they waited until they got married to have sex. Yes, they were handsome looking guys. They did it for several reasons. One for health reasons. I am honored to have known men that held this characteristic in their heart.

[@ashleycblackburn]

This conversation is so very needed in the church. Thank you for being that voice! ❤

[@silviasebastiamarhuenda1134]

Definitely...❤

[@zambarau2072]

I'm a single Christian woman in my 50's. I don't have an interest in marriage or relationships. I feel that marriage ideal was pushed on me as something that should happen. In hindsight, I can't say that I sincerely wanted a man in my life...ever. God bless others that have solid marriages or want to be married. But for women like myself that don't have marriage as a goal, God bless you too. Thank you for making this video and shared what you shared. It was eye opening and I look forward to more of your perspective.

[@queenchiomaofficial]

Amen to what you have said, the only thing I noticed is you have said ‘I’ a lot. My thought is….is this what God wants for you also? As we are not living to please ourselves, we are living to please Jesus. So it doesn’t matter what we desire, what marred is…what is his will for us, if the Lord desires for you to be married it’s important that you are in the centre of his will. If he doesn’t, then of course continue to enjoy your singleness.

[@zambarau2072]

​@@queenchiomaofficial "My thought is….is this what God wants for you also? " The only logical conclusion is yes, that's what God wants for me. I've been a Christian since 19. In that 30 years I've learned to trust God, If he wants me to be married, it would have or will happen (hypothetically speaking). I'm at peace with singleness and I believe that is what God wants for me. I think we all have to get over our shock that a woman can be totally content without marriage and/or children.

[@whooareu]

It sounds like you have the gift of singleness, which is awesome.

[@carolbent8970]

Dear sister. I totally relate to all the emotions you're experiencing but I want to give you hope. 7 years ago I finally got married at the tender age of 56 to a lovely guy!! Please hold on and trust father God to grant you your heart's desire. It's never too late🙏🏾🙏🏾❤

[@paisleyplaid4074]

My goodness Rita... this the first time I've listened to you share and I'm so moved by your honesty, authenticity and love for you have for the Lord

[@DanielleFerreira-kt7ix]

I was so happy when you said at the end of the video that you adopted a child! Sis, you did the right thing. If a man comes, fine. If not, go all the way to heaven as a mom and the bride of Christ. Wow!! You adopted a baby!!! That's it. That's all.

[@mvg5165]

Poor kid was raised without a dad

[@DanielleFerreira-kt7ix]

​@@mvg5165 Maybe he would be raised without a dad and a mom. Is the cup half- empty or half- full?

[@rgn3007]

@@mvg516525,000 children age out of foster care in the U.S. every year. This woman did a noble thing. If you’re so concerned about it why don’t you father a foster child.

[@nerishavangent2281]

Thank you so much for this! 34years old. Have never been in a relationship... still believing and trusting. And I so resonated with you in everything you said. I became a foster mom (having faith for adoption) at the age of 29 😊 He is 5 years old now and the biggest blessing in my life. I have gotten so many negative remarks about my relationship status. One person actually said - 'you better hope that he accepts your child.' But that is just a world view and not a God one. I believe with my whole heart that if God chose this path for me, He chose a husband for me that will instantly have a fatherly bond with my son and love him as his own. But I am also praying for peace that if I never meet him, that I will be content in Jesus. Thank you for being so raw and honest ❤

[@vasanthanarayanswami4608]

Had SO many prophetic words about marriage from my younger years so now I’m in my 60s and still single. It was tough. I decided to ask God to be my joy and fulfilment and let His will be mine! 🙏🌈💝

[@peggyjoyful407]

Thank you for this honest vulnerable program. I also grew up thinking I would be married. I married at the age of 35 to a man who was a young believer but with great grief, I now know he was a narcissist and sociopathic liar. After 10 years of hard marriage, I was forced into a traumatic divorce. By the grace of the Lord, I raised two sons into adulthood. I have now been single again for 29 years. My faith in the Lord is strong but as you honestly state, loneliness rears its head. The Lord is my comfort but I still occasionally cry and long for the love and tenderness of a husband. Usually Jesus is more than enough but I am aware that God said “ it is not good for man( woman) to be alone. Bless you for your courage to speak on singleness

[@4evermorejesus]

Thank you for this. I prayed immediately after this to ask speak into my disbelief, for so long I've believed for others but felt hesitant to belive for myself. My prayer in this season is to pray that my singleness will not feel like a burden, but a reflection of his protection and faithfulness. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@ireneginossar2371]

Thank you so much for this, Rita. Very profound. It’s to get to the place of peace and belonging. I my case, I got married at the age of 40. It was clearly God’s will and He gave us 2 children. Still, the marriage has been exceptionally challenging, I wanted out so many times in the early years. It’s still not easy (I do miss being single at times). YET the Lord had me see that I’m in His perfect plan, and I have peace. It’s being where He wants us 🫶🏻

[@lwortz]

Thanks for your open and honest message on singleness. I turned 60 last September and have never been married. I got a word back in my 20s but last year I really felt an awakening to find my “spirit” mate. Started dating a man last October, still waiting for God’s direction in our relationship. Maybe he’s the one or he’s helping me to be open when God brings my spirit mate. Like you I do not let singleness hold me back from living a full life.

[@remixedworship5662]

When you said some of us are bearing the consequences of other people’s wrong choices, that resonated with my spirit. Spot on!

[@allthingsnu4673]

I'm so glad this video showed up on my YT homepage. I have been blessed by Rita's music over the years but had no idea this channel existed. I am 58 and have never been married (but I had a broken engagement many years ago). Before I knew the Lord, I had a daughter out-of-wedlock who married her high school sweetheart and they have two boys. They are my family but, as I get older, I sometimes feel I would like to have a husband for companionship and to grow old with. My female friendships used to fill a lot of my time but those relationships have changed over the years and we don't meet up as much as we used to. I've always enjoyed my own company so I'll be content if I don't have a husband, but I would like to heal enough of past traumas to be able to be in a healthy marriage before I leave this earth.

[@heathergerhart8870]

I am a LMFT. I have shared this with several Christian clients. Thank you for your powerful message! I know several ppl, including myself who have benefited from your wisdom. Thank you!

[@pagocs]

I just loved this. I got married for the first time at 51. I went through the loneliness and tears and anger, but always in the back of my mind and heart (God’s grace!) was the knowledge and gratefulness I had a wonderful life despite my singleness. I am grateful for my marriage and it’s brought such depth to my life! However, like someone else posted, I would rather be single than in a bad marriage. Single loneliness is so tough, but loneliness in a marriage, in my opinion is even worse. I connected with so much of what you said! May the Lord continue to bless you with truth and wisdom!

[@christabelr1239]

“God understands the condition of the erosion of my spirit when he brings [his promise]” this really helped me in conjunction to Hebrews 11:13. Thank you

[@JDfaith2024]

Amen 🙏🏻

[@snowyowlz5992]

Being a widower is tough in church, men do not connect, my observation is widows have each other to connect with, etc. Being a long term caregiver didn’t help. I’ve accepted keeping on the outside, mostly introverted with low tolerance for large groups and noise, it drains me fast. At least I can now take time to piece my life back together without someone else’s drama setting me back.

[@rhitccdsccs3946]

Noise can be unsettling. Be blessed you are indeed loved. Take another ski trip, enjoy your family. Things will come together for you. I will be sure to pray for you daily.

[@rhitccdsccs3946]

Mathematically, what are the odds? I say it's a God thing. Be blessed.

[@svlun8987]

Widows here. I was thinking even made group of widows at my neighborhood, but it never happened. Unfortunately it’s not easy to make friend after 50 and nowadays. My suggestion to you - go work in school in part time find some job like facilitator and teach kids what’s right what’s wrong. I do it and my heart is crying for this kids . Their parents 80% divorced and kids just struggling without love.

[@latoniamcgahee1025]

This spoke my heart completely. Someone understand how I'm feeling. What I thought God would do for ME, by now...hasn't been done. 50+ years old and counting...thank you for your transparency.

[@angiemyhre.photography]

I don’t know why this isn’t spoke about in church. Thank you !!!🙌🙌

[@shayla9299]

I think bc usually the pastors were married before 25 and don’t understand 😐

[@REDRUBYRED]

I just got to that part. Stopped asking . And now learning to love the gift of singleness. Truly a gift.

[@themaccabee8469]

I hear you because I adopted my sister’s kids and always felt like it has hindered me for a relationship or marriage … but also it’s made me a better person and more mature. I know adopting was the right thing. I’m ok and I know that the Lord is with me single or not

[@BigLittlePrayers]

Oh Rita bless you. You are speaking words I have asked God year after year. I am 57. I am single but this has never been the vision for my life. I am grieving the life I hoped I would have. Thank you for speaking on this topic. love and God bless you.

[@greganderson2239]

I will probably be single for the rest of my life and I’m ok with that… my life belongs to Jesus 🙏

[@ElizabethDavisVlogs]

You are exactly the person I am striving to be, in every single way. I wish I could sit down and talk with you one on one. Wow. Thank you. ❤

[@JDfaith2024]

Feel exactly the same way. Everything she said I completely relate and I don’t think I have ever listened to someone who just gets it.

[@jenniferjenkins2736]

Wow. Thank you for sharing. You have no idea how many people feel and think this same way. I'm 47 years old, no kids and single. I pray daily, fast, pay tithes and journal and it's like GOD where are you? Why haven't my prayers been answered for a husband or to have children. I don't understand it. All of the people in the bible that received healing and miracles, got them instantly. There was no timing. People in the bible didn't have to wait weeks, months and years for their healing or their miracle. I'm still believing that GOD will answer my prayers.

[@MechMan2076]

Moses waited at least 40 years for his calling to be fulfilled... and yes waiting sucks... building character sucks... until it is complete...

[@josephkent3788]

Thank you for sharing this! Next month I'll be 60 and have lived up until now as single. I too once thought I'd be married to the woman God had for me... but it never happened. At this point, I'm comfortable with being single and not looking for a mate. As great as marriage is, there are blessings in singleness too. Honestly, for many years I don't even focus on or think of myself as single. It's just me and where the Lord has me. My focus has to be on my walk with the Lord and service to Him. Thanks for encouraging us with this message!

[@debr2475]

Maybe I found your video on purpose. I am 64 and still single. God told me in my 30’s that He has someone for me. I have prayed, decreed, rebuked, prayed off generational curses, dated adnauseam. I attend church faithfully (where I see many more women than men in the pews). I tithe faithfully. I pray for my future husband. I pray that God raises up an army of Godly Christian men. I eat healthy, exercise. And…. I wait.

[@alivingstone4Him]

The Holy Spirit is a He not a she. “Howbeit, when he, the Spirit of truth is come, He will guide you into all truth, for he shall not speak of himself but whatsoever he shall hear, that he shall speak and he shall show you things to come.” - Jesus Christ speaking about the Holy Spirit. Your vision is not from the God of the Bible. Let God be true and every man a liar. Every word of God is pure. Yes LORD! Every word.

[@thecolorfulchristian]

Rita, I am so grateful for you sister. I found your channel right as I needed it. I have felt a call to be a mother in my life, I am now 30 and single. I believe that God wants us to be content in whatever his will is for us. I have others in my life want to see me as a mother, although God has called me to be a spiritual mother I am not sure if he has called me to be a physical mother bearing my own children. He knows my hearts desire to have children/adopt children and potentially get married, I just have to trust that the desire that he has put in me to be a mother will flourish the Kingdom in whatever way he chooses to use that desire! Blessings! -Lauren

[@Beautyforashes555]

I’m almost 50 and have always been unwillingly single. I’m heartbroken from unrequited love and am unable to accept my life as it is. There is no fulfillment or peace. My life has been only failure , isolation and trauma. I’ve tried to hold on to faith but my circumstances are unbearable and have been barely hanging on for year after miserable year. No friends, no energy, nothing going for me. I’ve tried so hard but feel I don’t measure up mentally or physically. I’m in agony- there’s no growth happening. So exhausted 🖤

[@somethinggood9267]

You need to go to a church that loves the Holy Spirit and ask them to lay hands on you and pray for you to have those things broken off of you. I am someone very well acquainted with sorrow and and grief as well and I know how those things can hold you down. Jesus was also a man of sorrow and grief and he doesn't want you to live day after day being exhausted and downtrodden. Please consider talking to someone in your church about this and having them pray over you. And make sure you're putting on the full armor of God to fight against those attacks. Also, make sure you're having therapy with the Holy Spirit and hashing things out with God everyday about everything that hurts you and asking for his guidance. God Will never let you down.

[@codfishcathie1873]

@beautyforashes So sorry to hear what your going through. I’ve been there too. I agree you need a support group, counsellor, mentor or prayer partner. Don’t do life on your own, get help. Some of life’s seasons can be really tough, so don’t be afraid to ask for help. God calls us to share one another’s burdens. That’s why finding a good church is vital. You will come through this, wiser, stronger, more resilient, and able to help others in the same way you’ve been helped. God uses all our struggles. You are so loved by our Heavenly Father ❤

[@alistairmcnaughton1933]

You are heard

[@sylviemacfarland8503]

I prayed and prayed for my nephew to be delivered from heroin and come to the Lord. May 26th 2021, I found him, he had passed away from heroin toxicity. My heart broke and I've struggled to find joy. I used to pray for a husband - I'm still single in my 60s but the unanswered prayer about my nephew has been the most difficult thing for me.

[@user-uy8xj5eu1y]

My 32 year old son died of Fentanyl poisoning in July of 2022. I am so grieved to have lost him. I am very sorry for your loss. Your prayers helped and comforted your nephew while he was here. I find support with Griefshare and with Hope after Loss through Nar-Anon. I look forward to seeing my son in heaven someday. Drug Addiction is not a moral failure. What started as a choice, quickly turns into a terrible disease. God loves and forgives the addict. God bless you. 💝

[@sylviemacfarland8503]

@@user-uy8xj5eu1y Thank you.

[@ingelkringel]

Sweet sister, In Jesus name, let there be breakthrough! Let the light of God shine on your life, and restore all the years the locusts have eaten.

[@sylviemacfarland8503]

@@ingelkringel Thank you

[@sylviemacfarland8503]

@@user-uy8xj5eu1y Thank you

[@samanthawowk2806]

Gosh!! I absolutely love your vulnerable voice in this area (and the sarcasm!!). So grateful for women like you who have gone ahead and remained with the Lord in this journey and use it to strengthen others. It is definitely not an easy road and one where there is a continual laying down of the promises God has spoken to me. But the beauty has been when the moments of "I don't understand" come and tears are flowing, He is there and speaks a word to give me the encouragement to press on. A submission to His was, the result, I am kept by His power. And walking with a community of single ladies as well as married has provided opportunities to carry each other when a wave comes.

[@haleybrendle5141]

Yes. I think the grief of the scenery change is raw and real.

[@monicacuellar6665]

I am only in a 1/4 of the way and I want to scream YES YES YES...thank you for this!!!

[@TheLeh1964]

Your discussion of “laying it down” in your Holy Spirit session, was the Holy Spirit ministering to me today. I actually live in a “valley” and was tearfully contemplating stepping out of divine timing this afternoon. Giving up. The process you illustrated was vivid for me “going back to the valley and digging it out of the ditch!” I’d be coming right back here today. Thank you for perfect words, helping me see. Thank you Lord ❤️

[@kristyhuffman]

Don’t depart from the vision! Hold to the vision!!

[@emily3684]

Thank you for going where hardly anyone in ministry has gone before. I desperately needed to hear this from you, one who knows the depths of this place. ❤️‍🩹

[@KMP1219]

Exactly

[@joannacotsios9620]

Im 56 and single.I feel very lonely. And very down.I dont even look after myself anymore.

[@alexissashanicolle8675]

Your honesty was so refreshing - thank you! I've heard too many times the trope "Jesus is all you need, and if you are not content in Him you are not spiritual enough." While I think God should be 1st in our lives, it's true that He made us for relationships (of all kinds not just romantic), and the ache of longing is a very real part of our humanity. I appreciate the ways you've allowed yourself to be real about the pain and longing for something that has not come to pass. It's also so cool that you adopted, I think that's such a beautiful way to build a family. I'm in my late 30s and am indeed open to adoption too, but deep down, I feel it would be best (for me) to do that with a husband for numerous reasons. However, it's hard to find a man who is committed to his faith, and has similar values and interests as mine. I thought I heard God say "yes" when I asked Him years ago if He wanted me to be a wife and mother, and I'm still really perplexed as to why it hasn't happed. And I have also done my part to be available (open to set-ups, involved in things where I could meet someone, tried online, etc...) It's really hard.

[@saradwyer2451]

You are a very good person…I’m overweight myself….I was single from 38-48 I didn’t date anyone..then God told me to get ready cause he was bringing my husband…I needed to give him what I I know men love I lost 40 lbs I learned to become humble and submissive I’m married now one year and it’s a struggle because I have to make sure I am serving him every day and not to be selfish…just sharing my experience the Bible says the beauty of a woman is humility…

[@ayintovah3132]

Thank you for sharing