The Truth About Texas. Dry Bar Comedy

The truth about Texas according to the hilarious comedians of Dry Bar Comedy. The truth is, we love our friends in Texas, but the comedians of Dry Bar Comedy have created a compilation of Texas sized comedy that may or may not be at the lone star states expense. Whether you're someone who is from Texas, or you're someone who loves Texas this Dry Bar Comedy compilation all about Texas is sure to keep you laughing from start to finish.
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[@trkddy]

If you're more Texan than me . You're Mexican 🤣🤣🤣 it's funny because it's true

[@Ethan7s]

The natives would like to have a word.

[@FupaDoncic]

@@Ethan7s they all got forced to Oklahoma

[@trkddy]

@@Ethan7s A lot of Mexicans are native

[@FC-ku4ez]

My family has been here since before Texas was part of the U.S. so when people tell me to "go back where you came from" I just tell them "Done! What else you got."? Unfortunately they're never smart enough to get it.

[@Sara86A]

That sure was funny😂😂😂😂

[@evankane4993]

"If you're more Texan than me you're Mexican."😂😂 Im a Texas born and raised Mexican and I approve this message😂😂 this man too funny

[@saltrock9642]

This Louisiana boy really loves Texas. The best neighbors ever!

[@andrealmoseley6575]

I married a boy from Louisiana!!!

[@beatleme2]

If you didn't laugh at it …learn from it…an extra from a tornado film 😂

[@clrobinson1776]

I would be a vegetarian if it weren’t for bacon. Oh, wait. I live in the South where bacon is a vegetable.

[@nephicus339]

I mean, surely it rubbed up against or ate some vegetables before becoming bacon. That's how it works, right?

[@parisholden23]

This is all so true. I'm a tried and true TEXAN!!!! ❤️

[@AKHWJ3ST]

Especially the one about driving from Florida to California. I don't know if it's possible to drive from the Louisiana state line all the way to El Paso in one trip. I tried it once. I almost caused a wreck from road hypnosis so I stopped for the night.

[@withlol777]

I have great love and respect for Texas! 🇺🇸

[@emilymeyers6069]

I don’t 😭

[@Jaded4blue]

I MISS texas life... too hottt for me. Minnesota is just perfect for me.

[@majoroldladyakamom6948]

@@Jaded4blue Ahhh, the Land of 10,000 Lakes... Step-mom got her ARNP at the Mayo Clinic. First time that I was in -40° F. I was 16. Froze the hair in my nose unpacking our car. Ouch... 🙃 Ditto, but I prefer the Great NorthWET. Didn't know that there was NO S in that word, didja. Moved here when I was 6 weeks old. Have the webs between my toes and the moss behind my ears to prove it. Many blessings, from your eternal sister in Christ somewhere near Seattle. ⚘🙏❤🙏⚘

[@Sara86A]

Me too! I lived in TX for 13 years! My parents house is still in TX!!! Texas Panhandle!😊

[@Mr.Autodelete]

@@Jaded4blue everyone from Minnesota moved down here making Minnesota a Texas colony and you the governer

[@mimimonster]

As a Texan I approve of these comedians ❤️

[@testedtruths6978]

Not a Texan, but I am willing to learn..

[@1bestfriend2u18]

7:13 paul looks like a chef after work.

[@oliverklozhoff]

Stockyards Ft Worth kid here born n bred. I love the "texan stoopid" jokes. Very entertaining stuff!

[@Jaded4blue]

Haha..... I'm sure Minnesota jokes are even funnier. Miss Texas ❤ it's just toooooo HOTTT for me!!!

[@majoroldladyakamom6948]

Love the Stockyards. Have a pix of me, hand raised high, on a stationary bronco bull riding, w a bull ring audience backdrop... Also have an original watercolor of the Riverwalk, kinfolk in Carthage, DFW, Terrell and Del Rio. Nuttin' like flossing the sand out of your teeth/mouth for 3 daZe when you take a dune buggy ride up and down S Padre. That be some serious Crispy sand, lol. 😄

[@crystalcakesalvarado6156]

Fort Worth here too! ❤️

[@oliverklozhoff]

@@crystalcakesalvarado6156 you're pretty cute there crystal

[@willothewisps.7539]

The resonating truth of the Italian Mother comment, made me wheeze. Loved it.

[@XiAnais-bt9ke]

When he said he was more Texan I was like nah, I'm 7 Gen, and then he said "if you're mexican" and I was like, nope, that checks 😂😂

[@RazyrDiarmait]

Lol Bruce Lopez and Jackie Chavez

[@Wynter_Heat]

Not the oak cliff lady at the end 😄😂

[@sgtprestonoftheyukon2423]

I was born and raised in Texas. There's a great stage play called GREATER TUNA . Texans love it and none Texans just watch it and think ARE TEXANS REALLY LIKE THAT ??? . YES WE ARE !!!!! WE'RE JUST LIKE THAT !!!! .

[@oliverklozhoff]

Never heard of it. I'll have to check it out

[@sgtprestonoftheyukon2423]

@@oliverklozhoff it's incredible. Two actors play all the characters. From 9 year old boys to old ladies. And these guy's are some Amazing quick change artist. They walk behind a piece of scenery and come out as a different character. But the story line and the writing is what blew me away. It's worth checking out.

[@Nomadistar]

I am from Oak Cliff & it is hard to find anything fun or funny about it...at least we have Stevie! I admire you for taking a shot at it & hope you pull it off!

[@dannytarrant5110]

The zoo is cool in oak cliff. Other than that yes it sucks.

[@yyxy.oncesaid]

How about the great Cliff or the Oak tree/s

[@FupaDoncic]

The attempt at gentrification up north was pretty funny

[@oliverklozhoff]

Ah, u gotta take the good with the bad

[@justinvaughn8051]

Oak cliff?? I'm from mesquite. Used 2 get my weed in oak cliff. I Didn't stay there very long

[@LogicalDisaster]

As a Texan, I was thrilled to hear the vegan jokes because you really never would think that a born and raised TEXAN could be vegan.

[@Umma81]

Love the first guy!!! Hilarious 😂 and crowed didn’t catch jokes fast enough 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤣

[@effu9593]

I'm one of em, I thought Texans spoke slowly,ever see Rodney Carrington? He's funny

[@rodneearmour9715]

The first guy was absolutely hilarious!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@brett4264]

Shouldn't have ended with that last one. Really brought down the mood.

[@allmyheroeswearcostumes4347]

I agree she wasn't even funny.

[@DJMizzy]

First comedian: He’s handsome and funny! I’m here for it!

[@bobthompson4319]

The stork joke is the best anti vegetarian joke ever

[@52156drj]

Best One I've heard.

[@ravens6286]

"I don't eat anything w/a face on it. Neither do I, I take the face off". I choked on my spit trying to laugh. That was funny!! (@ least in my opinion).

[@gillifish]

As a vegetarian (not really by choice) it was hilarious 🤣

[@Kaniwani]

Yeah, that was really funny for me, too. Replayed that part multiple times.

[@FairyPhantasia]

Last lady. Keep working on that delivery. You'll get there. You have great jokes. I know people were dogging your last video on Dry Bar.

[@grizzlehatchet1]

She seemed drunk as hell lol... In a sober town.

[@robertmickelberg3720]

She has to learn to read the room and know when to move on to a different line of jokes. She was dying up there and it was hard to watch.

[@shoezomaku]

I thought she was really funny (of course I only saw this one clip)

[@yyxy.oncesaid]

@@grizzlehatchet1 A sobar town. Where?

[@mySeaPrince_]

I have shoes...

[@cherylcarlson3315]

Tx is the best place to be from after 1 day of being there.

[@carlaaustin6054]

I like his humor. Hadn't heard such humor about Texans. This is hilarious.

[@salemprompthous3820]

El Paso: Tomorrow New Mexico: Maybe 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@andrealmoseley6575]

I got the T.I. joke but it took a second because I've been gone for a few years🤣

[@BeStillandKnowwithAdam]

That last lady had me crying laughing! I don’t know what it was about her delivery. 🤣

[@Karlalovescandy18]

lol that she was wasted asf and this the DRY bar comedy lol

[@GreenVenus]

She was funny af to me, I dunno why the audience wasn't laughing more lol

[@Lonezewolflonewolf]

That last one, you could feel the slience in the room.

[@Lostenoch]

The next time i hear "i dont eat things with a face" im using that "neither do i, i cut the face off" 😂😂😂

[@anquinasraquel8897]

Don't mess with Texas

[@stephentroyer3831]

There is such a thing as jowl bacon, taken from the jaw of the pig, which means it's part of the face!

[@belindaspechtenhauser6621]

Stephen, I actually heard about that Totally makes sense Good Lord look where bacon comes from ! Is it good??? Seriously like to know! You can go to HEB in Elgin TX And purchase a Large bag of chicken feet, Amoung other parts. YIKES 😬

[@jasonh6919]

@@belindaspechtenhauser6621 Bacon is just smoked/cured pork belly

[@stephentroyer3831]

@@jasonh6919 it normally does come from pork belly, but jowl bacon is a little cheaper. The strips aren't as long and they're not straight.

[@belindaspechtenhauser6621]

@@jasonh6919 So jowel bacon 🥓 from the jowel I take it 🤔

[@ryuuhisakawa7160]

Okay but the Italian grandmother/Korean dictator joke was fantastic

[@carolkinney1327]

This Kansan respects Texas sooo much. But, ribs are king! ❤😊

[@lesterlaw8072]

God bless Texas

[@andrealmoseley6575]

Soon as I heard your voice I almost cried with homesickness

[@adrienneharvey9140]

Always have the funniest comedians at dry bar

[@yyxy.oncesaid]

I'm a kiwi so along way from the lone Star state but I do know that as a kid Texas is where all the best cowboy movies n shows were set . Probably was Hollywood but was Texas to me. Remember the Alamo..... Hell. Yeah

[@sgtprestonoftheyukon2423]

JOHN WAYNE: THE SEARCHERS it's a great western and a little to accurate for the PC crowd. It was supposed to be set in Texas , but it was actually filmed in MONUMENT VALLEY UTAH .which confused the crap out of me .

[@dovie2blue]

Not the "spaghetti westerns." Like The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Those were located in Italy and Spain.

[@cherieagan]

El Paso tomorrow 😂 exactly

[@ashtree336]

Stork joke was brilliant

[@robertschwartz4810]

Prisms don't turn light gay. Mirror balls do!

[@marcelogaea1064]

As a Texan, 😅😂🤣👍🏼

[@yahwehisdead]

1:50 "WOWWWW" - Alex Stein. Lol But that was epic

[@MrTekniqs]

That bacon tirade, Amazing.

[@andrealmoseley6575]

I so needed this today. So many fond memories!!! Still laughing at the Oregon state fair line because now I live in the NW!

[@res00xua]

Or Native American

[@k_h_nobody]

Very historically accurate. If you didn't laugh, you didn't get it.

[@johnrooney507]

Texas had some of the prettiest and least stuck on themselves women I’ve ever met. I liked the don’t mess with Texas signs and state pride. Did once have some inbred refuse to sell me a six pack of beer even after showing military ID so drove a quarter mile and purchased at another gas station. Guess I didn’t look country enough for the first guy.

[@majoroldladyakamom6948]

DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS... the anti-littering State slogan. They also think that it's their God-given right to drive down the freeway with loaded guns and a bottle of beer between their legs. Know that. My dad was born and raised in Houston, home of the 🎶 Mary, Did You Know song fame, Mark Lowry, and - yes, I do have an Ex from Texas. He lied to me when he proposed; thus, why he's an ex... 👍 True story. I'd rather be single than lied to.

[@mySeaPrince_]

Was your gun too well maintained... 🐱 ...

[@johnrooney507]

@@mySeaPrince_ No didn’t have conceal carry license, plus soldiers living in barracks were to keep even personal weapons in the armory.

[@nephicus339]

I think it's just because he didn't recognize you from the wedding.. i mean family gathering.

[@johnrooney507]

@@nephicus339 Was so strange, no racial factor involved.

[@noworriesmate5903]

The dude from Texas looks like sonny Bono.

[@Sara86A]

I lived in TX for 13 years! Miss my TX town! Red Raider Nation!!! Yes!!! He is funny for real...

[@alanmott-smith9358]

LMAO ! I miss real Mexican food. If you play country music backwards, you get all of your stuff back.

[@burlfaulkii6496]

Some solidly funny comics.. 😄

[@treyhudson73]

I don't wear no Stetson, but I'm willin' to bet son, that I'm as big a Texan as you are...

[@samkitty5894]

Drive through liquor stores...another TX thing. For when you're too drunk to walk.

[@brandongovreau9218]

Imagine if someone went to a comedy club and the person heckled the comedian felt insulted and then said I don't even know what a joke is how funny is that?

[@growthisfreedomunitedearth7584]

This was fkn brilliant.

[@estereism]

He's good 😂

[@__-pl3jg]

11:17 - To be fair, Texas interstates are 85mph speed limits for MOST of the distance East to West. When I drive through Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama the roads arent as smooth and the speed limits are lower. Texas is big but the roads are hella nice because we spend a large percentage of tax revenue on them.

[@dovie2blue]

Not in Houston.

[@__-pl3jg]

@@dovie2blue - Yea they're going to be slower inside city areas. Im talking about I-20 and some loops around cities like Austin for example where its 80 on the loop.

[@leylasiraj7296]

i love the last lady as a texan! that would’ve killed in dallas!

[@andrealmoseley6575]

I'm from Texas and hardly listen to country music...but my kids have been wrangled. Until I visited them in AL that is. YT started bringing on all the music about AL. I was converted for a few days. But it was eventually too depressing.

[@stevebramblet7192]

Siskel and Ebert back to back there 😅

[@walkerdavidson4465]

I am from Texas and he has lied bacon is not the king of all meats a good smoked brisket is the king

[@s133p3r0]

Texas is the best and worst place to live. They get some things right but completely miss the mark on others.

[@yyxy.oncesaid]

Umm,it can't be both

[@s133p3r0]

@@yyxy.oncesaid Somebody says your mom weighs a ton. "Actually a ton is 2,000 pounds and actually humans don't weigh that much actually". This is you.

[@yyxy.oncesaid]

@@s133p3r0 R,ok.Thanx for that information.We use metrics where I live so...... That Ain't me boy. No one ever has said my mum weights a ton either pal.

[@s133p3r0]

@@yyxy.oncesaid That's not the point. Stop taking everything so literal.

[@yyxy.oncesaid]

@@s133p3r0 R,why not? Is it wrong to read something and presume the person that wrote it actually means what they say.Otherwise how could you possibly know what the person is trying to convey.

[@h7opolo]

5:09 i guffawed

[@Aklifedesign]

thank you. can u do South Carolina next? 🥰

[@1bestfriend2u18]

2:30 😄😄😄 2:38 😄😄😄 3:00 😄😄😄 it was sick once and now it's bacon 🥓 🥓 3:43 🙅‍♀️

[@robinright825]

I'm originally from Maryland (Md/DC/Va area). Married my USAF husband and moved to TX the next day. After a few years he retired from the USAF. But..... (long story) we stayed in TX. Now been married nearly 30 yrs. Had I known marrying him meant a one-way ticket to Tx, I would have sent up smoke signals to everyone back home and maybe they'd have sent in a rescue team and gotten me out of here. I threaten my kids that if they scatter ANY of my ashes in Tx after I'm gone, I'm going to come back and haunt them!!!

[@majoroldladyakamom6948]

SALUTE AND PRAISE GOD for our Military!! Give him a huge hug for me, ok?? Four men in my family have taken the call to Serve and Protect, including my precious son (5th conceived, 1st live birth), who is currently on Active Duty. A resounding applaud and a thunderous THANK YOU, and to all of the millions who hold down the Home Front... in more ways than we can ever imagine... 🇺🇲 ⚘🙏❤🙏⚘ 🇺🇲

[@tylerd.5694]

Nah Texas is pretty alright. It's all about your state of mind.

[@effu9593]

Tell us how you really feel 🤣

[@anti1training]

Texas Yeah!!!

[@mr.agigittygigitty9916]

Uncle 6😂😂😂

[@tiffany_james]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jewel9443]

Made me lol.. except for the last one.

[@Gwenrissler1796]

As a vegetarian Texan I absolutely agree

[@Akavanmetre1]

Lmao.. I'm part of the Austin 300

[@angemon003]

As a Texan as well. Well done. Comedy gold.

[@p.l.g3190]

I am a Texan by choice, and after having lived among these wonderful people for a while now, I can say that (in my experience), these jokes are mainly old, tired stereotypes that aren't terribly funny. I did like the one about how the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre's" bad guy could never have terrorized our State Fair, because, well, Texans and guns. As they say, it's funny because it's true. I also kinda liked the one about the vegan lady telling her significant other that he had to respect her opinions, and he replied, "Get better opinions."

[@unchained81]

Texican 😆

[@kayables]

Haven't y'all had jawl bacon? Delicious so I guess I eat the face tooo...lol

[@1bestfriend2u18]

😄😄😄

[@Buck1954]

Texas used to be a friendly state till the Yankees came back in droves during the 80's.

[@CabinOnTheWater]

All my ex's live in Texas. True story.

[@FC-ku4ez]

Hold on there George Strait!

[@lindaward3156]

I totally forgot about the prism/gay thing! and I was in MA so.... it was very weird. I could've sworn that was a thing before this man was either alive or old enough to recall it. ☮️

[@cargojorts3038]

Hell yeah 🤘🏽

[@bobthompson4319]

there is jawl bacon that is from the jaw meat

[@Trijem]

Do you mean 'jowl'?

[@stefonrogers5980]

So apparently I’m a Texan 🥲😭

[@tommyocsd]

As a Californian, I'm offended for Texas.

[@skyjust828]

You think the drive from Florida to California is bad try from Boise to Chattanooga😮🤔😭

[@Mom-a-Dragon7622]

We drove from ks to ca

[@papabear9481]

That last lady seemed screwed up

[@Mehitabel18]

My grandkids are 7th generation

[@nononouh]

:38

[@danielsalazar5063]

Back in the day I had family that live in del Rio when it was part of Mexico then del Rio became part of Texas thank God because I would not want to be a Mexican citizen the cultural is wonderful but the government not so much thank God I'm a Texan

[@TGun7]

Bacon and Ham do not come from a pig. It was a funny joke, I laughed. But, most people really do believe bacon and ham are parts of a pig. The best bacon I've ever had was made from Beef Brisket and the best ham I've ever had was from a whitetail deer. Bacon and Ham are the results of a process, as are all sausages. You can pull a pound of hamburger out of your fridge and make great-tasting breakfast sausage in minutes, even better if you wait for the seasonings to blend for an hour or two. All you people who believe in the Bible and won't eat unclean animals do not have to go without ham, bacon or sausage. The reason they don't use beef to make any of them is that beef is too expensive and the flavor of the beef is much stronger. They use swine because it's flavorless and cheap. Pigs are like rats, they have litters and they get big fast. That's why they also use Turkey meat to make sausage. Swine and Turkey don't have a strong flavor and are cheap. It's expensive to make bacon from brisket - you might want to just eat the brisket and go with a different cut of beef.

[@HBProductions.]

Life long Texan, but not a cowboy or any other cliche you might think of. Oh wait, I'm Mexican. Lol. All these bits where ok, except for that last one... That lady was drowning in a sea of bad jokes. She shouldn't have been up there or in this video in all honesty.

[@shirokku3279]

Aw man Linda was way funnier than the crowd was giving her credit for. Like come on, do you go to a comedy show to not laugh? How high are people's standards?

[@georgina-a]

I was just thinking the same. Others in the compilation were nowhere near as funny but got far better reactions from the crowd. I wonder if it was because she was slurring some of her words, it's Dry Bar, and they made assumptions that she was drunk. Looked to me like she had a health issue rather than a drink problem, though, as she was remembering her lines well enough. I hope that judgemental crowd don't put her off - she was great.

[@RMBlake007]

ShiRokku3 - Yes, ppl DO go to a comedy show to laugh. But if you have to force a laugh....the comedian isn't funny, Do you want ppl to fake it?

[@RMBlake007]

@@georgina-a Judgmental crowd? You're trippin'. A comedian has to "know and read" their intended audience. She just didn't know what that crowd thought was funny. Not their fault.

[@georgina-a]

@@RMBlake007 My explanation is just as plausible as yours because humour is subjective, so wind your neck in with the digs. There is an emphasis on "no drinking" for this show (literally in the name... DryBar) & she was slurring, which the audience reacted badly to. I say this because the comments on her full special, from people claiming to have been there, are calling her drunk. So, yes, members of that audience *were* judgemental, for the reasons I originally stated. Yes, comedians should read a room, but they also have prepared material and can't just magic up a new set. So long as this is her normal humour (& a quick search says it is), matching a type of humour to a crowd is the job of the people who book the event. If her style wasn't suitable for their normal crowd, they shouldn't have booked her. There are likely multiple reasons why this set didn't go down well, but just as you and I disagree, people in the audience will have different reasons, too. There's no need to attack other people for picking up on things that you didn't.

[@MrTweesy420]

What's the first comedians name?

[@Trijem]

Jason Salmon.

[@MrTweesy420]

@@Trijem thank you

[@jonhdoe9623]

My 7x Great uncle fought in the Battle of the Alamo. Im mostly native American but yes ...I have some Mexican in me. I'm more Texan than you white man

[@BtpMikeJones214]

Good vegan jokes

[@bettyormand9282]

As a Texan I find this very offensive.

[@rogsolaris7411]

I had a girlfriend once who asked me if there were mountains in Florida. She was from upstate NY. She even went to school. Or something. Baffling