The Truth About The Chemistry of Anxious-Avoidant Relationships

[@sifublack192]

It's always important to look at the reality of a relationship rather than the fantasy. When you start to do this, you find more often than not the other person was not right for you to begin with. I'm avoidant leaning with a Secure base and recently ended a relationship with an anxious preoccupied. She was a kind soul and had a wonderful personality. However, she was also an alcoholic and prescription drug abuser who had a history of sniffing cocaine. She was also naturally addicted to drama and would pick fights about EVERYTHING simply because she had nothing better to do. Of course, I didn't realize all of this until after I was invested, but I had to look past the person and focus on the addictions.

[@Nika-je6zd]

Perfect, last 2 minutes!!!

[@christalhardy8771]

Great suggestion 👌🏾

[@7184610369]

This applies to both genders :) This video is underrated.

[@Portia620]

What if you have great chemistry and are super ok if they leave and never come back because you have already had a spouse leave and you have been thru the worst things in life over 10 traumas and don’t need anyone? Like we can have fun and enjoy chemistry but know it takes more than that and love to make a relationship! Further more If chemistry is fear than why did I have less cheater with someone in a safer situation?

[@ShimmerSoulSong]

Sometimes ppl don't have the accurate words to describe what they mean. Maybe chemistry aught be synergy? I once said expectations when the more accurate word is standards. Not everyone uses the words they need and then they get these other descriptions and sways in direction.

[@Liza-Loves-You]

For me chemistry is fine Adam Lane Smith is building an empire discribing the chemicals and hormones that play a role in these insecure dynamics Without the description of the situation where expectations in fact were standards I don't understand fully but I'd love to. 😅 Language is .... well .... confusing sometimes, I agree 😉🌞

[@ashton1952]

True there's chemistry and there's chemistry. Trauma bond vs true connection.

[@fruity_mango6539]

Please help! Pretty sure I’m anxious, and my husband is avoidant. He is a 30+ year pornography/sex addict. Over the years he abused so much. Now he’s kind of half ass acting remorseful. But still being dismissive when I come to him with my emotional needs. I think he has the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old. It’s like I’m talking to an endless abyss when I put the energy out there. This is the most frustrating thing ever!

[@christalhardy8771]

I'm sorry you are going through that in your marriage. Sending a,virtual hug 🫂