The Unluckiest Paladin In All Of DnD | Narrated D&D Story

[@evankauffman2139]

Last time I was this early Astoshan had yet to become a Necromancer.

[@Dakarai_Knight]

I just watched that video. Twas great

[@Lionheart40529]

Nobody gonna mention how the paladin was introduced twice in a row?

[@matthewshiers9038]

You're not the only one who noticed, and it's not the first time a mistake like this has happened before on this channel. I would love to know where in the production process this issue comes up and why it's not caught and dealt with properly before publication. The stories are good, which is why blatant errors like this sting so much more!

[@Lionheart40529]

@@matthewshiers9038 I agree, and I've heard errors before, but they've been a bit more subtle. This was a whole paragraph of a mess up.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Yeah, I think the narrator just didn't realize he had already read or something. Not the first time this has happened.

[@Hyde472]

Me: I swear I've had 2 beers, I'll check the comment section to figure out if I'm somehow sloshed *finally sees this comment* SAFE

[@FinallyAlone]

"it was so good I think I'll try it a second time"

[@hemiwarrior6226]

The first campaign I was in with my one set of hobby store dice, I rolled low on literally every roll. One session, I rolled SEVEN nat 1's in a row. Party wants to roll for stealth? Yeah that 2 from my unarmored sorcerer has blown it. We wanna convince a band of NPCs to fight with us? Too bad my nat 1 just insulted all their families. Oh yeah, and I was a sorcerer. Forget hitting attacks, I was a magic missile spam bot basically. Anything that required a roll to hit was an auto fail. Even with 20 charisma. One night we were at a huge milestone of the campaign where we were trying to broker a peace treaty between two nations that had been at war for centuries, we needed a good talker with high charisma to succeed on the roll, and that was me. I gave this incredible speech, and I don't mean a 2 minute "we shouldn't fight" speech, no, it was 10+ minutes long. I brought humanity to the soldiers of both sides, the DM asked if I planned on going into politics. Then he said the dreaded words "Alright, roll for it." Everyone at the table groaned hoping my RPing would be all they'd need, but nope. "Dont worry," said the DM, "he roleplayed that spectacularly so I'm giving him a +22." He looked at me "Literally a 2 would pass." Nat 1. The entire table starts screaming. After the DM finally got everyone quiet, he said "Goddamn it,, you know what, everyone hand me your d20s." All together we had 33 d20s. "Alright, I want you to roll every one of these. I think you might have a bad set of dice." I rolled every one them; out of 33 dice, 28 of them were 5 or below, 13 were nat 1s. The next session was on Christmas eve and this DM always gave us gifts both in game and out of game. He gave me mine first. "Your rolls are literally so bad, they have kept me from advancing the campaign. So here. Merry Christmas dude." He gave me a set of weighted dice. I thanked him and everyone didn't want their gift yet, they wanted to see me roll a weighted d20. So I opened the bag, pulled out the d20 and rolled. I rolled a nat 1.

[@averagejoe455]

If a 28 wasn't enough to pass a speech check, then your DM did something wrong. Nat 1s don't effect Skill checks.

[@silvergreylion]

Have you tried "inverting" your rolls? You would then subtract your roll from 21 (or d[x]+1). DM would have to agree to it, ofc. If you then started rolling high, you may be manifesting your rolls by thinking "please not Nat x", which does the exact opposite.

[@gorillaguerillaDK]

Try not to overthrow England, unless you’re Scandinavian or from Normandy, then it’s just old habit!

[@RyanReidSpeaks]

That moment when you’re just chilling in your English village, and the ocean starts speaking Danish.

[@lazulenoc6863]

Or Italian, German (Angles, Saxons, Jutes) or English. I mean, invading England is just too easy when you think about it.

[@gorillaguerillaDK]

@@lazulenoc6863 Yes, Angles, and Jutes were both from the area that would later become Denmark, (the peninsula of Jutland), and as I recall it the Saxons is from the German west coast just south of the peninsula of Jutland. Today the area of the Angles is divided between Denmark and Germany. But yes, the Romans invaded them as well. So it's basically been a returning event and most of the English of today has DNA from all sorts of groups, (which makes those English who's talking about their "race", as in ethnicity, sound like clownhorns)

[@CommissarMoody1]

Let's not forget the Dutch/German kings and French have held the crown a few times as well. And the Stuarts were a Scottish line of kings as well.

[@gorillaguerillaDK]

@@CommissarMoody1 Yes, indeed - it's almost like overthrowing England was what people in Europe did when they didn't have anything else to do - or wanted to escape boring chores at home...

[@thecharmingone3931]

Party of 8? Designated but accepted butt of jokes? Singing “Country Road” while traveling? That campaign sounds fun as hell!

[@Midnight3Wonder]

It is!

[@gilgameshdevourerofworldsg4101]

Dude the cast for this one is so wholesome. Honestly I'm so used to some scumbag in these who ruins it, like a that guy or a bad dm but everyone sounds like so much fun. No one was described as toxic or mean in the intro and it sounded like they had so much fun.

[@SapphireDragon357]

Well said, Greg!

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Yeah, I got really lucky with this group for my very first time playing. Everyone is so nice. In fact, during our session 0 and the DM was taken turns with each player to play out a bit of their backstory to get the main story rolling, we had some fun discussions as we got to know each other. We even ended up having a fun talk about our favorite Disney Princesses and such. Defiantly my kind of group! I just feel bad that, in our first few sessions, I was a bit of a problem player. I didn't actually do anything wrong. I was sick at the time, so I kept coughing a stuff. I kept apologizing for it, but everyone was understanding and didn't hold it against me. They're all very sweet.

[@zombiehunter501]

My best friend had a Paladin who for whatever reason could not use a sword without something bad happening to it. For context, the DM likes fumble tables. 1st sword was snapped into shards on his first strike ever. The 2nd was disarmed of him by an Orc and the party had to withdraw without getting it back, the 3rd one he threw out of a need to do any ranged damage, and it bounced off a shield and fell into the city water channel. He took up a Battleaxe after that and be it axe, spear, mace or whip. Only swords fell to his curse. The DM later admitted that this was one of the reasons he dropped using fumble tables, as my friend really wanted to be a sword and board Paladin at the time. We still have a chuckle at old Sir Ragnar "The bane of swords" to this day.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Oh, my gosh! I love that! That sounds hilarious!

[@DreamsInShades]

*listening to character after character after character be introduced* Is there... Is there a story or is the entire video just listing people in this person's D&D campaign? Am I in this person's D&D campaign? Are you in this person's D&D campaign? Are we all in this person's D&D campaign?

[@LegendStormcrow]

I attempt to throw you at the narrator. Roll for initiative and a contested athletics roll.

[@curethedarkness]

I know right! It is the part of these stories i always dislike regardless of which youtuber is reading it. I dont need to know the names races and classes of every character in your game, just refer to them as "human paladin" and "goblin tinkerer". Having their names doesnt add anything to these stories for me unless it is like the All Guardsman stories or the grey necromancer where there are multiple stories about them and those reccuring characters. This story just took the piss with how many characters were named, i was like "get on with the fucking story already!"

[@TransientWitch]

I'm not...I wasn't invited...T.T I'm never invited...

[@SapphireDragon357]

While I think you're all vastly overreacting (it was only 8 characters and the dm), it doesn't help that he read the entire paragraph for the paladin twice.

[@ShaneEdgewind]

@@TransientWitch Are you certain? Pretty sure your name was in there too, somewhere.

[@reapergrimm8]

I have an unlucky paladin of my own, though his misfortune is more meta in nature. Long story short, I have character concept for a tiefling paladin that I absolutely love. But I've tried three times to play this character in three separate campaigns. All of the campaigns have fallen apart, more or less. The most recent campaign is pretty much on hiatus, as the GM needs to wait until his next college semester to reduce his class load so he won't have as much schoolwork to do. Which will free up his time and allow him to do prep work for the campaign again.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Best of luck to your paladin

[@WDinATX]

I know that feel...

[@TheDannyschoofs]

Crossing my fingers for your Tiefling paladin, as they look very alike to Draenei &something about tieflings/draenei just appeals to me ;)

[@foxrunner6407]

Forget the paladin, I want to hear more stories about the construct doll.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Aw, thank you! I'm glad you like my character!

[@TheDannyschoofs]

Lol, me too, I'm hooked, although I also want to know, how it tuned out for Turi, having a Holy Draenei paladin myself, as a main ;)

[@Midnight3Wonder]

@@TheDannyschoofs Holy Draenei?

[@TheDannyschoofs]

@@Midnight3Wonder Lol, when I began playing in 2004 I wanted to be able to heal myself, so it felt only natural to to be a paladin & healing spec is Holy, so ;) Ofc draenei were only released with TBC, so my my very 1st main was a human holy paladin ;) For those concerned, I play WoW

[@Midnight3Wonder]

@@TheDannyschoofs Oh, I see. I'm sorry. I only began playing a few months ago, and am still learning.

[@darkwarriorprogram6546]

I nearly got myself killed one session from bad rolls. I was a Fallen Assimar Paladin (what is it with Paladins and bad luck?)/ Warlock who wielded a greatsword. This was awhile ago so the details might not be completely accurate. At the time we were level 8-ish I believe and I'd got some good rolls on health and already had close to 100HP (like 93 or something). Well we were facing some kind of huge creatures that were standing at the bottom of a cliff. So obviously I try to drive my sword into it by jumping off the cliff above it. Nat 1. Instead of hitting the creature I not only missed it, I also took the fall damage (I think it was like 22 damage or something, DM basically rolled max). The rest of the battle consisted of me trying to be useful only to be: -kicked into the side of the cliff (10 damage I think) -running headfirst into a tree (15 damage because I missed on my attack with my charger feat) -almost crushed by a tree (18 damage. Nat 1 Eldritch Blast. DM ruled I hit the tree trunk and took out a chunk of it causing it to fall and I failed the dex save to get completely out of the way) -and generally just failing everything I tried to do. By the time combat ended I had like 6 health left *and the enemies never even hit me*. Every single point of damage was from me Nat 1ing on trying to hit the enemies. To this day (we're level 13 now) I've still done more damage to myself than every enemy that's ever hit me combined.

[@MoonbornUwU]

I honestly adore the living doll as well ;-; her concept is so neat

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Thanks! I was actually inspired by the ballad Coppélia and the fairytale Pinocchio for her creation

[@dorkasdaydreams]

@@Midnight3Wonder Aha! I knew it! XD

[@Midnight3Wonder]

@@dorkasdaydreams You liked the inspiration for my character?

[@funnyblog100]

@@Midnight3Wonder I based a barbarian character off the woodsman from little red riding hood. Path of the beast barbarian managed to kill a werewolf but was bitten in the process. My dwarf learned to control it and channel it when he goes into a rage.

[@dorkasdaydreams]

@@Midnight3Wonder I was just saying I guessed the origins of the character accurately.

[@matthewshiers9038]

3:49 - 4:26 Whether it's a glitch in your editing software or an error on your part, you gotta stop letting these repeated segments bypass quality control before it gets to KZbin. You're doing your videos a disservice. This is not the first time this has happened either.

[@ShanePhoenix5558]

Right I thought I was the only one noticing these glitches the first time it happened I was like hmmm maybe I’m just crazy but then when it kept happening in other videos I was nope I’m not he is lol

[@LocalMaple]

That was actually rolling his intro at disadvantage.

[@thomash.5473]

But I bet that the paladin player only remembers the one time he saved the day not the 1002 screw ups. But the dice gods can be fickle mistresses. I'm glad to hear that Turi's player didn't quit. Good on ye Turi's player for sticking with it!

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Turi is actually still in the party and still living up to his role as the party screw up. He has missed quite a few sessions due to life getting in the way, but he's still part of the group. We're actually about to go through an arc meant for him and a new player. If his bad luck continues, he had best pray that the rest of the party can serve as great wingmen for him as it has been highly hinted that he might finally have a chance to woo the orc queen he's in love with.

[@StortebeckerSF]

Don't need to try and overthrow England, they've always done it themselves.

[@GreaterGrievobeast55]

YIRBEL LIVES! This tail curse, its familiar yet I can’t quite place a finger upon it…something to do with billy and mandy? 4:04 OOP! Just like general fail from godzilla HAH! Oh wait I haven’t explained that joke here…ahhh goblin fury is always fun to hear!

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Oh, my gosh! Thank you so much for sharing my story! I hope the rest of my party enjoys it as much as I did!

[@jesternario]

This is a good story. I would like to hear more from the person who wrote it. I have the distinction of being one of those folks who always roll bad. Specifically when my character is trying to hit something in combat. Almost every skill roll and saving throw I do okay at, but combat, that's when I screw up. So I can feel for the guy who kept messing up. When you can take something bad that happens and make it work for you, that's quality roleplaying.

[@SaraphDarklaw]

I think the author is responding to comments. Maybe you can ask her directly?

[@Midnight3Wonder]

I am planning to share a story about my character Coppélia soon. Her story recently ended and I'm looking forward to sharing it with everyone as so many people have expressed an interest in hearing her story.

[@prowler6435]

I've read a story about an extremely unlucky paladin. On the first roll during the first battle of the campaign, the sorcerer rolled on a wild magic table. The result was that the paladin was teleported - butt naked - into the nearest queen's bedroom.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Oh, gosh! That's a situation!

[@Lillyluri]

What a great group of characters, and what an interesting story, and presented well on top... I wish you could keep us updated about this one.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

I'll certainly try!

[@grayfire5080]

The paladin is me….there is no joke that’s just all of my characters

[@Midnight3Wonder]

LOL

[@FlyingDominion]

I appreciate you calling out that the titles are a novelty product. Thank you.

[@davidwebb4167]

yaaas more like this!

[@millysilly4329]

My gnomes have the fate of rolling below a 10 pretty consecutively making them effectively cursed. There was a streak of 5 sessions in which I only rolled above a 10 twice. I know a thing or two about bad luck.

[@jaycraw6978]

Coppelia? Be still my ballet heart! OP must be a fan of the classics!

[@Midnight3Wonder]

I do love fairytales and such! Yes, I'm the OP of this story! I actually originally intended my character to a warlock/bard, but misunderstood some things and got nervous about my roleplay so I went for a cleric instead, thinking that playing the healer would better suit me for my first time. Now I regret that decision. I wish I had kept her a warlock/bard. But she has developed quite a bit since then and she really does fit in well with the story. Now she's a protector of nature and life itself! I plan to post a story about her development since this story and share it with All Things DnD as a continuation story.

[@rosetteprism8640]

Failed rolls can be good character development and lead to funny things. One time, my entire party got into trouble with bad rolls after half the party did dumb decisions. We were in a town and we were trying to find a werewolf. After an attack a town priest preached that it was the wickedness of the village people that led to their gods smiting them and that they needed to repent. Our lawful neutral ranger disliked this, and clocked him in front of everyone. We had to run and given sanctuary in a church. Then, it turned out that one of the other priests in the church was the werewolf. After refusing to be persuaded to stop attacking the people in exchange for help with a cure, our war cleric (don't remember alignment) blasted him through the wall. My lawful good dwarf bard protested these actions, "don't fight in a church!" Everyone witnessed this and assembled in the town square. Only our goblin wizard managed to get away (he went to get reinforcements after running into some friendly NPCs). I failed my persuasion roll and so us three were tied up and about to be burned at the stake for attacking town priests. We also failed our strength checks (I guess they were some good ropes). The only reason we survived is that I thought of using prestigitation to snuff out the torches until I was gagged. By then, the sun was low and reinforcements arrived. Ever since then, my character reminded the others in the party about what happened in that town each time someone suggested an unnecessarily risky idea.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

That's a great story!

[@xavierreeder1189]

I'm the unlucky person of my party, I feel for the paladin

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Hope your luck turns around soon. If not, I at least hope that you can turn those bad rolls into something fun for you and the party.

[@LocalMaple]

I guess that star player intro was rolled with disadvantage.

[@christopherrhodes3228]

Oh cool, two paladins named Turi!

[@Midnight3Wonder]

No, just one.

[@Iceblade269]

Failure can be a brutal, but an empowering piece for character development. I once had a char not hit a single attack in her first session, so I wrote it out as how visions of the person she failed to protect would haunt her in combat.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Oh, that's so cool!

[@bsabruzzo]

Okay, I have a question about this age stuff. We always assume that if a Human lives 100 years and an Elf lives 1000, that an Elf matures at age 180. Now, does that apply if 18 years of education and experience remains the same or is this a physiological difference where the Elf's body and mind still age at 1 tenth the speed as Humans? Does an Elf look 10 years old at age 100? Or do they look like an adult, but think line a child (ew, had an image on how bad that could go). Or does an Elf with 100 years of experience and learning look like a 10 year old, but act more mature, like those poorly written children on some TV shows and in bad movies?

[@curethedarkness]

I normally rationalise it in games that elves typically are very slow in their day to day live when not interacting with other races and are weighed down by multiple time consuming traditions. Like they just meditate and reflect upon the majesty of nature for several hours a day whilst humans are rushing around getting stuff done. Also elves typically get a lot more things as default in a lot of games, like all elves can speak 2 languages, use bows and longswords. They also typically come with increased intellgence meaning they all have a higher standard of basic education as well. So combined together you tend to see elves just pass through time slower than humans and other races. But if they stsrt living with humans and living like humans then i say their lifespan shortens somewhat.

[@animeotaku307]

Not a player failure, but I was running Lost Mines and one of the goblins rolled a bat 1 to attack with a bow and I decided that the string snapped. So he was staring at the broken string with what I imagine is a WTF face while the rogue chucked a knife into his throat.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

LOL

[@nvfury13]

Opening with an ad for something proven a scam…

[@WDinATX]

I had a character who I jokingly pretend I remember him being just like Turi but I know he was more like a... less than competent Heron (if that's how it's spelled) despite my sheet practically *begging* for him to be absolutely incompetent looking back.

[@salthesalad5521]

Podcast is great

[@King_of_aces089]

DANG IT my first ever character has a dagger he talks to(it was his friend he is trying to set him free)

[@destinyhunter3154]

So I've recently started watching an anime called "The Saint's Power is Omnipotent" and correct me if I'm wrong but do you voice act in the episode titled "Appraisal"?

[@Zarkonem]

omg, how many characters are in this party? how many players is this?

[@Midnight3Wonder]

A lot of us. 8 party members and a DM.

[@lulospawn]

After the become a lord sponsor, I can see this going the Chael Sonnen route: ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!

[@viennasavage9110]

paladin was introduced twice XD

[@pipeline789]

Sure that those dice were balanced when he continuously failed nearly all his rolls?

[@TheRuneTail]

Wow looked into the "Established Titles" and looks like a lot of idiots are calling it out as fake and not real. No kidding. It's the same as having a star named after you.

[@fleshdadbot6852]

Hmm?

[@scottyj986]

It's because they keep advertising it as an official title when it's not. It's false advertising and this may come as a shock, but a lot of people are not well educated and have no idea how titles of nobility work could conceivably be mislead by the terminology used.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

I kinda felt off about the established titles thing too, but I thought the planting trees aspect of it was nice.

[@TheRuneTail]

@@DrawciaGleam02 yea

[@matthewboyd68]

I have worse luck with it I only get to play the game once a year for 15 minutes

[@Graham2777]

Sadly, you don't actually have the right to be a Lord, Laird, or Lady when you buy a souvenir plot of land in Scotland. It's a novelty gift with very little substance, apart from the tree in this case.

[@stuartwalker9597]

Next thing England tried to take over Scotland, not the other way around more rage

[@novadrake9232]

Did the palidin get introduced twice?

[@tysondennis1016]

The cursed paladin

[@dizaster2946]

I totaly lost track of the characters... 🤣

[@lordzero2379]

Do i need to be a Citizen of a specific country for this lordship thing?

[@errorcringyname4044]

Idk my paladin that didn't land a hit for 5 fights until it got killed by a random encoonter cr5 monster at level 1 disagrees

[@beriukay]

I'm a laird, and I don't disagree with his promo.

[@Epsilon9-Kerosene]

I own 5 square feet of Scotland from them already!!!

[@andrewjohnson6716]

So, like your characters, you command a five foot square?

[@Jebbtube]

Why did you read the paladin's intro twice?

[@stuartwalker9597]

Argh, Dunfermline is pronounced Dun-ferm-lin Rages in anger

[@whatsagoodusername823]

Jeden pre algoritmus

[@ThePeckishFox]

Hot damn I wish your intro wasn't so damned loud compared to your voice. I keep getting woken up. Please normalise your volumes. I love the videos just don't like being woken up by the intro!

[@graymann7762]

What's with the weirdos including their sexual fetishes?

[@Midnight3Wonder]

We're actually not including such content. Most of the party is of some level of LGBTQ+, but that doesn't mean we're into that stuff or anything like that. I myself am asexual, meaning that I'm REALLY not into sexual content. The others luckily understand this and are respectful of my orientation. The most sexual thing that's ever happened in our campaign was that one scene with the goblin and mushroom fairy, and it was never actually explicitly said if they actually did anything. Just hinted at. Other than that, it's mostly just been a little bit of flirting here and there. Nothing beyond the limits what one would usually expect from an RP heavy campaign. We've never even had a fade to black or anything.

[@docop8926]

After watchin these dnd videos for the past cple years I notice that alot of sjw's and feminists play this kinda stuff

[@slivermultigaming8999]

Good story, but the amount of repeating itself a few times made me take longer to even bother finish listening to it.

[@docop8926]

That story was kinda borin...... IMO

[@Michael-fd1gx]

This new animation is too distracting.

[@kingofwolves9536]

Wasn’t a big fan of this one. Not for Everyone I suppose

[@alheimianservant1499]

First

[@webhead4414]

Also a virgin

[@Jawsomest]

gg u got it! *victory noise*

[@tholgrimstonebeard5943]

This is such a boring story.