the weaponized incompetence epidemic

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[@nomoreillusions]

Best comment I ever saw on this topic: "If you want to act like a child, remember healthy adult women are not sexually attracted to children."

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂

[@josepheridu3322]

Sexual attraction may be the only thing that keeps those women around. That is why they complain and complain but still stay with those guys. No, they will not give the nerd a chance.

[@xylophone_888]

@@josepheridu3322 they "stay" with "those guys" because they will get k1lled if they even suggest leaving. women don't give you a chance not because you're a nerd, they don't give you a chance because your first thought when you see a woman stuck in an abusive relationship is "why is she staying with him instead of good little me" instead of "how can i help her (without expecting something for myself out of it)?"

[@dolphiee4644]

@@xylophone_888exactly

[@MovieSuperShadowMeatRider]

Most in today's society aren't healthy adults

[@youngstermcgee]

roderick rule number one never be good at something you don’t wanna do

[@WURLDSTAR]

oh my god i wish i added this to the video

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

Unless of course it's your job and you're being paid to do it! Then you can be at least a little good at it 😅 just good enough to not get fired!

[@lostgiirl]

@@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066omfg 😭😭 i work at a goddamn chick fil a and my coworkers' (plural) fav strategy is to claim they dont know how to do smth... simce its so busy they just shoo em and grab someone else... one of em told me "the less u know the better" 😭😭

[@user-ut7hh3zb2f]

I had to learn that, at work. In the last few years before retiring, I got sick of being the "go to" guy just because others didn't want to do something, so I learned to say "I don't know how". Or "I didn't get the training". People WILL take advantage. I had to learn to say "NO".

[@kreachur000]

@@user-ut7hh3zb2f yep! Same here. My work performance was so much higher than everyone else's because I couldn't say no and it got to the point I couldn't keep up with their expectations

[@kiyawilson3520]

I am African American and Indigenous, the first time i ever experienced weaponized incompetence was as a child. My siblings and I went to visit my father for the summer, and my dad had my brother do the dishes. Later that evening, my dad comes up to me, "Hey so turns out, your brother isn't that good at washing dishes, he has no common sense like you girls do. So from here on ya'll will be doing the dishes." And then he told us through laughter about how my brother didn't even think to wash the handles of silverware. My dad thought it was so funny, but i couldn't bring myself to laugh, because every time i didn't understand something, i was made to do it until i got it right. Failure was NOT an option. It confused me and i didn't understand why. In my early twenties I dated someone just like that, and it took me too long to understand, people make efforts towards whats important for them. Weaponized incompetence is real, and it starts so young.

[@khushijoshi9920]

I relate to this on a spiritual level ...unfortunately 😢

[@beepsie]

It was the same for me. My brother had exactly 2 chores, and when he refused to do them, my mother would do it for him. If I or my sisters had the audacity to refuse our parents would ground us, if it wasn't done right the first time my mother would mess it up so we'd have to start over from the beginning. Failure was only an option for the men in our house.

[@JennyNobody]

You really nailed it when you said "people make efforts towards what is important to them."

[@DeathnoteBB]

It’s always the men that think it’s so funny, too! Like it’s a cute little quirk, rather than deeply embarrassing

[@RebelNutts-gg1xf]

Cool story bro

[@fatcat1414]

As a man whose ADHD and depression makes him actually struggle with certain everyday tasks, it is insulting that it's normalized for men to intentionally act like toddlers and not even try. I sometimes forget to do a chore and need a gentle reminder from my partner so I can do it right away. In contrast, my dad would outright refuse to do several chores because he'd 'do them wrong,' or he'd purposefully make a fool of himself until my mom got pissed enough to take over. And at the end of the day it's my disorders that get lumped in with this asshole behavior because folks on both sides think mental illness is an excuse to be a jerk.

[@v_doll]

Hate to be defending a man, but I also have chores I outright refuse to do. When I was a kid my mother would make me and my sister help her make pierogi (dumplings) and I could never make them right - they were always to skinny, too big, I squeezed the edges too tight or I didn't squeeze them down enough. My sister was a huge bully and would always make fun of me in the process so I absolutely hated doing it and refuse to try again to this day. I also used to hate hanging the laundry up to dry because again, apparently I couldn't even hang a shirt properly and had to relearn it completely in order to understand I didn't actually mind doing the laundry, I just didn't like being micromanaged and screamed at lmao. There are definitely some chores you just don't get how to do properly, but there's always 100 other tasks you can do easily.

[@bluchismoon]

​@@v_dollyou should try doing the stuff when your annoying sister isn't around. Dont let her ruin things for you.

[@bearisbig3848]

I'm high-funcioning, 8:33 sucked emotionally. @bluchismoon that's actually some pretty helpful advice. I've been doing chores at night lately so instead of worrying about how I'm doing it wrong I just worry about being as quiet as possible.

[@fatcat1414]

@@v_doll I understand. My mother was extremely micromanaging and always on the verge of anger when it came to teaching me cleaning habits and it made even basic hygiene unmanageable for me because of associated trauma. I had to learn it was better to do things imperfectly than not at all. However my father already had outdated views when it came to the division of house labor going into his marriage, visible by how he refused to do any chores that weren't mowing or cooking anything more complicated than frozen pizza. That probably fed into my mother's constant frustration with me. It's more complicated than I initially made it out but sexism still very much played a role.

[@RothAnim]

100% agree. I've struggled with undiagnosed ADHD for most of my life, and housework has always been a tremendous challenge. I'd often forget to do the dishes, which upset my roommates. When one finally confronted me about it, she didn't want to come across as nagging. I had to explain that I needed the reminder, but It also came with the promise that I would actually perform the task assigned when reminded, and would never treat it as "nagging". It worked! She still had to remind me to do the dishes or clean up the kitchen after cooking, but I never once resented her reminders or shirked my responsibilities intentionally. I cannot willpower my way out of procrastination. Forgetting is not a sign of disrespect. I'm still trying to find medication that can help me do so on my own. If people try to attack my ability to remember and take initiative, it only feeds my self-hatred for the perpetual inability to overcome it. If we compromise with a little effort and good faith from both parties (theirs to remind me and recognize I am not shirking intentionally, and mine to appreciate the reminders and actually do the tasks asked of me), that disability becomes a minor bump in the relationship, rather than a hurdle.

[@meganvincent5381]

Listen, I'm autistic, I need exact instructions too. BUT I TELL PEOPLE THAT BEFOREHAND. Also when I screw up I try to do better instead of getting pissy at the person who I had a miscommunication with. Its all in the response and these men are shitty with their responses

[@wizardfucker8999]

SAME like these people omfg. i don't know if i could keep patient with them if they're intentionally acting stupid

[@TopAnimeLoverEver]

So, question. If my autistic roommate says that as well, and then I give specific instructions, and it still gets messed up, is that on me, them, or weaponized invompetence? I even asked if it was me not explaining well and they admitted it was them not understanding. Not understanding what? You're saying I explained it fine but you still don't... understand? What am I doing wrong? And they said that assuming I was doing something wrong in my instructions was hurtful to them. I suggested writing instructions like a business email to be more precise and they veto'ed that too. I'm auDHD and just don't understand what is being lost in translation so I just stopped asking for anything and do it myself now.

[@meganvincent5381]

@@TopAnimeLoverEver honestly this sounds less like something I, a humble youtube commenter, cant solve. Sounds like you need a third party with knowledge on autism to help you guys out

[@sma2608]

@@TopAnimeLoverEver I wasn't gonna reply to this until I saw you on multiple comments. You gotta figure out a path for yourself. There is absolutely no way strangers online can know if someone is truly struggling or manipulating you. If you have the energy and time to ponder and write all this you should be talking to him.

[@AramatiPaz]

​@@TopAnimeLoverEverautism don't define character, so it ca either be both.

[@AllanaRace]

I remember there being an old series I used to watch called "tutorials for my ex husband" and it was all real examples of things he had done this past with, of course done as cute little step by step tutorials. She was also abused, physically, and very open about that physical abuse outside of this funny series she made. Men in the comments would say things like "this is why he beat you, your a sarcastic bitch" She's a COMEDIAN wtf.

[@xylophone_888]

men ☕

[@AllanaRace]

@@xylophone_888 there are evil people out there

[@haruk2312]

Men 🍼

[@eeeEEEeeeEEEEEE-eeeeeee]

mem

[@BlueNOrange]

men 🍿

[@GaryMcSnail]

I asked my dad to move my desk to my new apartment back in December. When I was I the ktichen, he called out and said he couldn't move the desk because it's too heavy. I go to my room to find he's trying to lift my dresser FULL OF CLOTHES 🤦‍♀️

[@loremipsum2237]

That's not weaponized incompetence, that's hazardous buffoonery.

[@AD-dg3zz]

Does he not speak English or something?

[@plutonium09]

That’s not the same thing but it’s funny regardless

[@knight1706]

You Clownin on a guy just tryin to help ya, brutal.

[@plutonium09]

@@Cretaal he wasn’t supposed to be moving the dresser at all 💀

[@Mirai_the_weeb]

A coworker of mine was laughing about how it just takes one time of fucking up the laundry and you'll never have to do it again and I shut that down SO FAST, man you a lecture about how he's a fucking adult and he needs to learn how to clean his own clothes

[@Xyrvo]

I will never understand why people say laundry is hard. It can be as simple as throw clothes in washer with soap, take clothes out and then throw in dryer or hang up stuff you don’t want to shrink, then fold. Crazy.

[@RasheedahNizam]

These are the same ones who wonder why their spouse is no longer attracted to them. Or say that they feel betatized.

[@funlover163]

​@Xyrvo laundry isn't exactly hard. It's that it's a delayed process for me. By the time it's ready for the next stage I am distracted doing something else

[@susiex6669]

​@@funlover163Delayed process? The machine literally does 98% of the work. Like how lazy can a person be?

[@jeangentry6656]

@@susiex6669 I struggle to find time to do the laundry, because it literally takes up half my day once I do it. Given I have a demanding job and other responsibilities to take care of, laundry can and does become daunting. What you call "lazy" others call "crazy busy" and "bone tired".

[@Dork2099]

Weaponized incompetence: terrible in personal relationships, heroic in corporate America. 💪🏻

[@brigettelancome4063]

oh this is based asf 😭

[@QUEERVEEART]

yassss. respect human beings, eff capitalism

[@Prismatic9008]

So true smh

[@taylorh7993]

I get this to a point, but I have so many co-workers now who just stand around and don;t do shit and then it all falls on me and 3 other people. It's a lousy mentality to have. I've always held the belief that how you do anything is how you do everything. I see someone being lazy at work? I just assume they act that way in all aspects of their life. Don't overwork for businesses, it doesn't pay, but have some fucking pride in your work too is all I'm saying.

[@brigettelancome4063]

@@taylorh7993 i agreed until being laid off for nothing. i worked my way up and they never raised my pay only my responsibilities, i was a team lead at 19 had my own team under me and was training others still not raise, after a year i asked for a small raise for the extra work i had been doing, i got fired a week later. i was doing more than most managers… they don’t care about us. i’m just trying to get out here and make a living man.. they don’t care..came up from homeless in my car to my own apartment, i work hard but they don’t reward hard work like they should.

[@puppyhowler]

i read a story on reddit once about a woman who had a day out with her friends, so she left her husband in charge of the house. she was gone for six hours. and when she came back the house was a DISASTER. the dad didn't make the kids lunch so the older kid (who was 7) had to rummage around the pantry for something easy, they had a bag of chips for lunch. the SEVEN YEAR OLD even tried to feed the baby, also the baby's diaper was OVERFLOWING because it hadn't been changed in literally six hours, the baby also hadn't been fed, where was the dad??? in his room playing video games. she divorced his ass and is much happier now.

[@vikki8699]

Jesus! I am so glad she divorced that neglectful POS! I can garauntee he acted "blinsided" when she divorced him.

[@puppyhowler]

@@vikki8699 agreed, yeah no it's crazy how some men will neglect their family and then are GOBSMACKED when the wife asks for a divorce lol.

[@kikijp6411]

Damn near word for word of what happened to me except it was when I was working, he made sure I didn’t get to breathe much less have any friends. It was an absolute horror show.

[@RigB0n3]

the ice cream cake drama was so crazy to me because the husband is Matt Hardy 😭 im like bro did wrestling give u so many concussions that you dont know ICE CREAM GOES IN A FREEZER

[@GreenVikeenArt]

And let's not talk about the history of substance abuse...

[@MrEvldreamr]

Thats probably… why

[@fancybeingawesome]

And the wife defending him later😂

[@MerleBlumentopf]

I had an ex partner who tried this. At first I was stunned at his audacity but then I started to treat him like a toddler like making him redo the dishes twice, when he claimed that he just wasn’t as good at doing them like I was and finished it up with „good job honey! I’m so proud of you!“

[@Ellam4r1a]

How did he react? lol

[@MerleBlumentopf]

@@Ellam4r1a he was furious that I treated him like a child and I played dumb, telling him that I had only his best interest at heart. Still brings tears to my eyes XD

[@hellaradusername]

"If they make you do the dishes / and you drop one on the floor / maybe they won't make you / do the dishes any more" -- Shel Silverstein

[@hellomydude2558]

i luv shel. maybe my work was a fan because we have plastic and a dishwasher

[@Sh12pen]

My mother is recovering from cancer and my father works long hours. One time they went out shopping and he made her carry all the shopping bags, even complaining she was talking too loud and left her to fall over in the middle of the street because he was too "tired" My father knows how to cook but he refuses to wash dishes. When he does, there will literally be visible red stew stains and chunks of food that he ate that my mother is allergic to left on white plates, and he will put them in the cupboard so I have to take everything out when I come home from school. He then lectures me that I need to be doing the dishes more often myself and gain how to take care of myself, when he can barely do even that.

[@neonpanda20]

@@Sh12pen You and your mother could be much happier without your father around. He seems like a bully.

[@Sh12pen]

@@neonpanda20 he is. At one point out nowhere he decided to take offence to me not begging him for money, because he was talking so aggressively about me needing to buy a new laptop for university so I thought that he wasn't going to give me any, that he immediately ran to my mother to say I was saying random rude things to him and making fun of him for not knowing how to wash the dishes again and I had to calm my mother down before she punished me for nothing.

[@Sh12pen]

@@neonpanda20 he is. At one point out nowhere he decided to take offence to me not begging him for money, because he was talking so aggressively about me needing to buy a new laptop for university so I thought that he wasn't going to give me any, that he immediately ran to my mother to say I was saying random rude things to him and making fun of him for not knowing how to wash the dishes again and I had to calm my mother down before she punished me for nothing.

[@StonedHunter]

I'm lazy with putting away leftovers, but they're strictly my leftovers, and I live alone, so nobody gets affected, but my own self

[@ineedhoez]

Me too...

[@KelciaMarie1]

A guy offered to come over to my house to make dinner for me. He made a massive deal over the fact that I didnt have a rice cooker, and so he brought one. He made it seem like a big, heroic thing, that he was saving me from a meal without rice! I explained to him that I just made it on the stove, the way my mom always has. And this man says, "you cant make rice on the stove!" I tell him yes, you can. "Prove it!" I told him to figure it out himself or use his rice cooker, but I'm not cooking tonight. He was a little steamed about it lol.

[@spiralghosts]

what did the guy think people did before rice cookers existed?

[@kolaoshun6298]

“A little steamed about it” love the pun.

[@Dottiebonds]

The audacity 😂glad you didn’t fell for it

[@hairlessgrizzly559]

Like damn, is it really that hard? Im basically a fucking neet at 19 right now in a single parent household, but I still do tons of chores to make sure my mom doesn't have to do them all when she's at home

[@rats4poop]

me too! Even struggling with depression and anxiety, I still help my mom do chores and clean around the house because she works two jobs.

[@hairlessgrizzly559]

@@rats4poop glad to find someone who relates lol. Depression and anxiety fuckin sucks My mom always reminds me that things will get better, we just gotta keep going man

[@LIVEMETRIX187]

⁠@@hairlessgrizzly559yep! keep going! watch the prices of necessities go up and your wage stay the same or go down as job availability decreases lol. it’s toxic positivity to think that the future only brings good things. it may be true that a few good things will happen, but the suffering of others will continue on aslong as humans are alive. but “doing chores” won’t pay your bills nor give you money to stay alive, just reminding you. most people are working at 19 or have some income.

[@stuffwithsoph8264]

i also have depression & anxiety (w a few other funky traits) and i do almost all the household chores and maintienence

[@FinnFongus]

So spot on with the “you need to respect me, im the man of the house” well you need to respect who is the reason your HOUSE isn’t a hole of sadness and trash

[@tootiefrootiefrootloopz]

It was only a matter of time till you started a video with a bojack clip

[@vitaminwater9662]

​@@p-__ bots gotta try harder fr 🙄

[@Bleplebeian]

you. i keep seeing you. you are everywhere

[@sma2608]

"I can do the chore I just need a schedule/details/you to hold my hand at every single step" They refuse to take any level of looking around and figuring it out

[@liviwaslost]

Reminds me of my sister lol

[@TopAnimeLoverEver]

I'm genuinely confused if this comment right here is the actual case with my roommate actually, because he's autistic, or if he is using weaponized incompetence. He said he needs detailed instructions. I did that. He still messed up. I asked if I didn't explain right. He said no. WHAT THEN?! HOW DID YOU MESS UP? And I asked him to clean the bathroom 2 specific days a week. That was all. It will sit for weeks before I finally break down and just clean it. Because I refuse to have to fucking remind him every single week. I'm not your mother. I gave you a schedule. You're an adult. You should be able to follow it. I'm fuckin auDHD and can keep track of a schedule, like. Lord. Does my ADHD make me forget appointments sometimes? Yes. But does my autism make me do well with routine? Yes. Cleaning 2 times a week is a routine. It isn't hard to follow.

[@johntodd6413]

​@@TopAnimeLoverEver It's always difficult to analyze how competent another person is. I just started telling people if I clean it, I'm tossing your shit. And sometimes the issue is just too much stuff. It wasn't till I threw out 90% of our dishes did I discover how many extra dishes we had. That and I bought paper plates and plastic silverware during finals

[@celestialbunny]

ngl that's kind my mom 😭. she's always been like that. sorry mom

[@MatchaBerrii]

The comparison of these man babies to my older brother is like looking at two different species.I’m proud to say I have a competent brother who helps his partner with their kid and home.These men need to grow tf up and act like adults

[@k0mm4nd3r_k3n]

Good men like your brother know their worth. More power to him, and you too.

[@katiescollection6707]

The bar for men is in hell if you're proud that your brother 'helps' his partner with their kid and home. It's called parenting and contributing to the household. The fact that you're framing it as 'helping' implies that tasks like keeping house and child-raising is a default job for women, but an extra for men that gets them praise and gold stars, whereas women don't get accolades for doing those things because it's just expected. Food for thought.

[@MatchaBerrii]

@@katiescollection6707 no??? What I meant is that they help each other.i didn’t mean for the word ‘help’ to read into so much what other word should I have used? He loves his kid and gf they give equal respect to each other I’m just confused as to where you got this whole argument from.

[@gangstaberry2496]

​@@MatchaBerrii I agree that we are all so used to these words like "help" that we end up perpetuating these stereotypes... Still, your message was clear, and it's great to hear your brother has integrity!

[@AyoAce2]

@@katiescollection6707I see where you got this idea from but the fact of the matter is the video is mostly about men being man- babies and not acting like their 39 year old selves should be. They were just happy that their brother was not like this and ACTUALLY did help, it didn’t mean they were only happy with them helping? I think they just wanted to specify how glad they were he was not like that. Yes, it is the bare minimum but the video is about how the men aren’t even doing THAT so they were glad their older brother was actually loving to his gf, kids, and not some scumbag like the dudes in the video. They never said anything about them thinking men cleaning and being loving to their kids is special and they just think women should do it. This comment isn’t women focused because, proof by the comments, it’s mostly a man focused thing since this is a mostly man problem. (It can happen with anyone bcs I’ve seen women do this w my own eye) but I think you stretched a bit too far.

[@beaucarbary5619]

This makes me think of an ex boyfriend from many years ago. Some highlights: 1) When asked to throw out some old leftovers (spaghetti and meatballs), he flushed them down the toilet so he wouldn't have to take out the trash. The result was exactly what you'd expect. 2) When asked to "take care of" the sink full of dirty dishes, instead of washing them he threw them in the dumpster. 3) When asked to mow the lawn, he destroyed every single sprinkler head of the irrigation system and also mowed all of the flowers and decorative grass. 4) I asked him to clean the toilet because it was getting gross. After coming home from a 12-hour at the hospital, it was still gross. When I asked him about it, he said he'd cleaned it. Upon further questioning, "cleaning" in this case meant flushing it twice. 5) Ruined many loads of laundry by putting his cargo pants in the dryer with pens in them. At the time I thought he was just really fucking stupid, but that was before I knew weaponized incompetence was a thing. The man was 37 years old, there's no way he didn't know better.

[@Sofia-wh9jr]

I read your whole comment with my jaw on the floor

[@Timtamjammer]

One of my exes legit told me he didn’t know how to fucking make microwave ramen >:/ knew right then and there what typa relationship it was

[@peggedyourdad9560]

I'm honestly petty enough to give step-by-step instructions complete with a demonstration as I would for a young child. Would still leave tho cuz that's just wack.

[@noriii]

@@peggedyourdad9560there’s already step-by-step instructions on the packaging😭

[@eringraves8310]

Should have told him “I guess you’ll starve”

[@plutonium09]

My first reaction would probably think “did they get neglected as a child….?”

[@Timtamjammer]

@@plutonium09 he didn’t- his family overly pampered him to the point they did everything for him. He told me he’s never done his laundry because it would just- be done for him.

[@pranavghantasala6808]

As a man I just can't imagine these guys' mindset. I'd be ashamed to even _look_ that incompetent, let alone *actively pretend* to be. And yet it's the exact kind of low-effort, power-tripping, "I'll show you for expecting me to even slightly pull my weight in this relationship," behavior I've come to expect from a certain pathetic stratum of men.

[@jupitersnoot4915]

Exactly. I don't understand guys who are PROUD to say that they can't wash clothes, so dishes, change a daiper or do any basic domestic task. If that's true, it's embarrassing as hell. How can you be a man if you can't take care of yourself?

[@giacomobandini969]

But we take care of ourwelves. We do Jobs Who gives US Power, we do sport which gives us health and fun, we do hobbies which gives us relaxation, control and expand out horizions. That Is all that matter in the end. Power, Health, Fun, relax.and growth. And we do this kind of things. Things like Cleanliness and orderliness are Simply waste of our precious time on the earth

[@everegenx]

@@giacomobandini969facts

[@tamyahgalentine9734]

And those same men act like they are so smart 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Spamhard]

My old housemate was 'bad' at washing up. He claimed he just didn't know how to do it well and that I was so much better at it. I spent like 30mins one day demonstrating to him how much dish soap to add to the water, the best order to clean things (glasses first, dirtty pans last etc), and how to wipe them down. Strangely enough, after I showed him how to do all of this. He stopped using the excuse he was clueless. He just stopped doing the dishes altogether. Ever. Once he couldn't use incompetence as an excuse, he just stopped doiing the thing he didn't wanna do. No matter how often I reminded or asked him when it was his turn to do the dishes, he'd magically 'forget' witthin seconds. Living with him was hell :)

[@alixmedit]

thank GOD ppl are talking more about this. man-child behavior is so normalized it's crazy..

[@brigettelancome4063]

or when women count their husbands as one of their kids 😭 i understand that it’s a joke or how they feel but you’re just playing into his bs

[@chandranapier2259]

@@brigettelancome4063that’s called passive aggression. At that point the husband knows most likely he just doesn’t care. She will keep doing it because if she doesn’t do everything, what she fails to complete never gets done

[@brigettelancome4063]

@@chandranapier2259 and that’s, to me, when you should go. she’s doing it all on her own already, i had to leave a similar situation before it got here but the joke is when i know it’s gone tooo far, now it’s coping.

[@guguigugu]

there was a commercial for dishwasher tablets, in which a wife came home to find the dishes washed. she was surprised to see this until her husband showed her the new brand of tablets he bought. the punchline was that this brand makes cleaning so easy even THE HUSBAND can do it!! I was OFFENDED as a MAN at this sbsolute travesty. like the message is basically "men are idiots, bless them"

[@TheBobbyDuke.]

This one is almost sad, honestly. My dad was asked to bring down the laundry basket & put it in front of the washer. When my mom came downstairs he had indeed put them in front of the washer. ... The dishwasher 💀💀💀

[@TheBobbyDuke.]

And before you ask, no, they are no longer together 😶😶

[@jehdbrbjeirodofjdjebeebbsnaka]

you didn’t specify *which* washer 🙃

[@jaymese.950]

I used to do this before I realized I was disabled because normal tasks would tire the fuck out of me. I now have mobility aids and stuff to make it easier and now I can do stuff so yayyy

[@crobat1693]

Maybe I’m special and/or built different, but like, if there’s something you don’t like to do, why not communicate that??? Why manipulate your presumed loved one into doing it? Ideally you both split what you prefer to do, and in the worst case scenario where you both hate something, you can just schedule the task for both people on different occasions

[@catbiscuits4424]

The word presumed is the true champion of the people in your statement, it really strikes the heart of the matter. If someone's deliberately fucking up to drive someone to do stuff they would rather not just to make their personal life easier. They don't meaningfully love or trust that person.

[@Bella_Noire]

Because they don’t want to do anything! At all!

[@ShawnBloom]

Some people just rased usless ass kids and to me that is a failure on the parents part. I have a roommate that didn't understand why the skillet needed non-stick spray before cooking

[@RepubsWannaMarryKids]

How bad was this? What were you cooking? Like chicken and veg sorta thing, or like an egg or pancake that would just be a mess?

[@amandabushore7890]

Roommate refuses to use oil because of the calories, everything sticks and burns

[@zangyloveskawaii6003]

@@amandabushore7890that…is just… awful ;/

[@brigettelancome4063]

oooo weee don’t get me started in roomies, my roomate burned rice twice and then burnt the pot and said there was “nothing she could do” so i had to scrap burnt rice off of a pot i had just bought, she was going through a breakup and was talking about it daily and her life as ppl do (especially with breakups so i get it). i had a health emergency, i may have lupus and she told me that me talking about it is “too much” on her after months of helping her and her basically using me as an emotional punching bag. now i’d get it if i talked about it a lot or wasn’t getting help for it but i’m constantly making appointments and all and never asked her for help once. her excuse when i said it hurt me a little was “sorry maybe i just don’t know how to be a good friend, maybe we just shouldn’t talk about your health rn”…🙄

[@ShawnBloom]

@mandiblackwell4668 It was pancakes...and he was using a fork on my none stick

[@lv67890]

Thank you for not judging women who can’t leave these man babies. I was isolated for decades because so many people - who claimed they m were all about supporting women - would tell me to shut up if I wasn’t leaving him. How was I supposed to leave with a mommy job, kids who were in diapers, and no family? What magic human was going to bankroll us and watch my kids for free while I worked two plus jobs? Of course they expected me to be a character in a lifetime movie with all these magic resources.

[@shineonyoucrazydiamond8971]

the problem more so is that you allowed yourself to have a long term relationship and children with a man of low calibre. im pretty sure he didn’t flip a switch 5 years into the relationship to become incompetent, he was always like that, but you just put up with it THATS why people would tell you to “shut up”

[@Mimi-mq2wj]

They're right. If you arent leaving him why keep ranting to people? Thats stressful for all parties.

[@BunMan01]

Wurld got a SPONSORSHIP, okay WURLD I see you getting that sponsorship bread

[@BunMan01]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@p-__I don’t know how you could provide evidence for this claim but the delegation requires proof or else this is cap

[@Wolpertingernacht]

​@@BunMan01it's a bot 💀

[@sallysullivan1034]

My dad convinced everyone he's dumb and then would get mad when people acted like he was mad. It is was so annoying

[@ASSASSIN_BUG_77]

As a man, my blood BOILS when i see these videos. How are you going to be lucky enough to have a woman who loves you, and you treat them like trash?!?!?! You're living the dream, and intentionally TRYING to throw it away?!

[@pompodorkii624]

I lived with this guy my 2nd year of college and he put his whole plate UNCOVERED. ON MY SHELF. ON MY STUFF.

[@WURLDSTAR]

EUGH.

[@lemonmeat]

idk if this is the same thing but my dad does this thing a lot where he will purposely fall on the ground and call out for help monotonely (keep in mind - he is 6ft in his 50s and i am 4'11 teen) and when i ask him what he wants me to do (i am a weak string bean and . genuinely what does he want me to do ?? its always in spots i genuinely cannot reach to get him up) he DOES NOT answer me when hes fully capable of doing it, and after a minute he just scoffs and gets up perfectly fine going "Never mind." angrily and maybe even adds some guilt tripping /if im lucky (sarcasm)/ i have no idea if thats the same as "weaponized incompetence" but it's pretty similar to the definitions ive heard? so 🤷

[@Cyhcg5uhgb]

I dont think that is weaponized incompetence. I think that's just being attention seeker

[@childofgod759]

i think u8r dad should explain better to u lol

[@Mary-tx2eb]

The man needs LifeAlert. Offer that next time. He'd never fall again 🤣

[@amandabushore7890]

He's just crazy

[@mabintykoroma6614]

uh-uh thats weird asf 💀💀💀💀he a narcissist or sumn??

[@kaitmarie6505]

Whenever I see things like "if I don't feed him he literally does not eat," my first reaction is to call their bluff. Ok cool, have fun fasting all day on your boy's fishing trip. Partners of immature men: go ahead, try it! Only cook enough for yourself. See how many days he lasts before he figures out how to acquire food. "He literally won't eat" damn, I didn't realize people were out here dating Giant Pandas who will lose the interest and energy to eat or mate if stressed.

[@squibkanotty99]

Still live with my parents and my younger brother and HOLY SHIT he is the incompetence weaponizer of all time. Cant make himself food, cant do his laundry, cant make his bed, cant do shit. At his grown age hes almost 18 man

[@BeehiveBoy]

"it's embarrassing! ....not for me" cackling

[@Greatduck777]

The whole “Man of the house” thing where the man gets to sit back while the woman is supposed to do everything makes no sense. If you really are the man of the house, then you would take responsibility instead of forcing your wife to do everything for you and acting like you can’t do anything. If I ever had a family, I would personally want to help as much as I can, because as a man, I personally feel like I should help instead of just letting the woman do literally everything around the house, unless she wants to.

[@TheRealSparkplugTheFox]

I'd tell a man if he can't work a washing machine then he can't operate a one ton vehicle and take his keys and go on a cleaning strike. I don't have the patience to play these games. I'd expect the same of my boyfriend with me.

[@CB-dy1he]

Once, I asked my ex to get cheese and milk before he came home from hanging out with his dad. This guy decided it was perfectly ok to buy these dairy products BEFORE he went for drinks with his father instead of after and carry them around all day in a plastic bag in summer. He had no idea why I insisted that they had to be either be fully consumed right away or trashed. Dairy products and he had no clue. He even had the audacity to be annoyed at me about it.

[@lily-iv3rn]

This is so disgusting and there are no excuses! My dad works around the clock yet he cooks, cleans, does any chores that need to be done and takes care of the kids, and he never asks for praise or anything because this is just normal human behavior

[@nzephier]

I only do it at work cause they legit all have a habit now of wanting people to do WAY more than we are paid to do. At home I'll go above and beyond lol

[@Sp_ce_Duckiii3zzz]

My dad is kinda like this, he even admitted it. One day in the car he said that if we ever get married and our partner wants to clean, just pretend you have errands and go outside while doing fuck shit for the whole day.

[@dizzykitteh]

Its so crazy to me. Like how do you not feel guilty 24/7

[@intellectually_lazy]

batman has alfred, bc if you can't gender someone into that roll, you class them into it

[@reet7060]

Brooo that’s a crazy ass statement and I’m mad I never thought about that shit😂 Batman literally would die without Alfred

[@nixeradicatus]

The problem with "women's standards are just too high" in regards to weaponized incompetence is that if women's standards are too high for wanting the male partner to do his share of unpaid labor, then expecting her to do her part PLUS his is a doubly high standard.

[@CB-dy1he]

Alternate title idea: ‘Just leave him already, we’ve all been waiting’

[@TreeHairedGingerAle]

Not everyone can. A lot of these men trick, and then _trap,_ women into relationships with them: working hard only at making sure all avenues of exit and independence have been closed off, often via sabotage. Some of them will lie and pretend for _years,_ before taking the mask off. (Noting here that financial abuse isn't talked about nearly enough)

[@monoduck]

I used to use weaponized incompetence to get out of doing chores When I was a kid Grown adults shouldn't do that.

[@therani9600]

I genuinely dont understand sometimes what i need to do if i wasnt given all the steps. The genuine "but you didnt tell me to put it away, just to bring from the store" type shit, because i suppose i have autism lol. And even i can learn that yes, I AM SUPPOSED TO put away a hypothetical ice cream cake even if i wasnt told to, because it will melt, after one fuck up honestly. And if im not sure what yhe next atep is, ill probably just ask anyway, bacause even if i can be confused that i wasnt given an instruction to put it away, i CAN figure out that it will melt, and just, go and ask the person who gave me the task if they actually want it to be left on the counter, or get put in the fridge. Like, yes, i wiil have problems with figureing out what im supposed to do with no clear instructions, but man, its so wild to see those people just NOT TRY at all to get it right. I just dont understand how they sleep at night after treating their family like they are their servants who shouldn't get mad when their highness cant learn how to do the dishes no matter how many times you explain it to them

[@trashcan2748]

Yeah, I’m on the spectrum and have trouble with instructions sometimes. However, if I fucked up something I’d actually apologize and put in effort to do better the next time. It’s annoying when people do the fake incompetence thing, it pissed me off.

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

I'm on rhe spectrum and even I would know to put the ice cream cake IN. THE. FREEZER! Like i may have a bonehead thought for a split second that "should I leave the ice cream cake out the thaw?" But then upon reveiw i would go wait, that's ICE. CREAM. CAKE. You don't "thaw" ICE CREAM! And then promptly put the thing in the FREEZER where it's home is!

[@RhysezPieces]

I know I need to be given guidelines that make sense to me when I do things. Like it's not enough to be told "vacuum every two days" I need to be told why and my brain has to agree with it. "Because the cat hair will be visible on the floor if not" if the floor looks clean already why are we vacuuming? My brain will literally erase the task from my thoughts in exchange for doing a visible sink full of dishes because it deemed vacuuming unnecessary.

[@forest2727]

Sometimes, something might look clean but not be clean. You just can't see it. If you don't clean it, it can affect your hygiene and your health (cause infections/sickness). For example, pregnant women have to be extra careful of cats because a piece of their hair carries a substance that can harm the fetus or even kill it. All because of a strand of hair that seemed insignificant at first. So I imagine people who want you to vacuum every 2 days want to keep the house clean even when the dirt is still invisible to the human eye. It's their hygiene. Another reason could be that they have a schedule so that they don't have a big load when the need for cleaning becomes visible. Instead they have the same load everyday which is more manageable than having a small load for one day and the next day have that load doubled or tripled.

[@dinaboop]

Why do you need to be told? Don't you WANT to live in a clean house?

[@echoedmews9871]

I get this completely! Im exactly the same! I dont mind my chores but I dont see a point if I cannot SEE the issue, I do stuff when told or prompted to even if I dont particularly get why because it LOOKS fine,

[@lawnmower-pq8vk]

Yeah I need that to. My mom would tell me to put the silverware we had set out on the counter to dry into the drawer and I wouldn't do it because my logic was "it takes me less time to grab a clean fork if its on the counter than in the drawer, so why should I put it in there?". Eventually she explained why (we have a roach problem and don't want them running over our exposed silverware) and so I started remembering to do it. However, this video isn't talking about people like us, I don't think, what's described in the video reminds me actually more of my stepdad. He'd refuse to do basic shit like put his plates in the dishwasher (which even his little kids would do fun fact) and when we asked him to do it, he'd be like "I'll mess it up", so we showed him how to put the dishes in properly. He knows how to put a dish in the dishwasher btw, he lived alone for a long period in his life, but we showed him anyways, and we explained where everything goes. He still wouldn't do it and when we asked him about it again he just started yelling and cursing at us until we were both crying and dropped the subject, and after all that he has still never put his dishes in the dishwasher. So, I think that the people in this video are like him, people who don't need strict guidelines to do stuff but say that they do so that they won't have to do things, and somebody else'll have to do it instead. A lot of it falls into misogyny actually, I believe that for my stepdad part of the reason he does this is because he firmly believes in traditional gender roles, and so he probably subconsciously thinks that my mom and I, as the only girls of the household, should be the ones to put his dishes in the dishwasher for him. This is quite the essay but I just wanted to say that 1. I feel you lol and 2. The weaponized incompetence thing isn't people like you or I needing more help it's just selfish men finding an excuse to make their partners do all the chores

[@xylophone_888]

​​@@dinaboop BECAUSE THEY NEED A REASON TO, do you need two different explanations to understand anything whatsoever? just reread their comment they already explained and described everything

[@catbiscuits4424]

Just at a glance of the thumb nail, The "If I don't feed him he won't eat" bit. Just wait a while... It might be a short while, Might be a long while but either way the problem will solve itself.

[@Me-wk3ix]

On the ice cream cake one, I'd say "You're right babe, I'm being too picky. You did your best. Now do me a favor, go serve that cake".

[@str4wb3rrypup]

WURLD having a soul eater intro , so real for that WURLD, thank you

[@lorddialtones]

Random soul eater jumpscares always catch me off guard. Never complain though!

[@SirIsaac1313]

I'm 19 and I don't know how to make an egg, I can't crack them either. When I was 7 or 8 my mother tried to teach me, I accidentally cracked the egg against the sink too hard and it broke in the sink, she never let me touch an egg again. 10+ years later and she won't let me touch eggs and has instilled this fear in me that if I touch one, it'll fucking explode or something and she uses that against me :( I want to learn how to crack one properly but I don't know how to get around something she's enforced for so long

[@Mary-tx2eb]

The main problem is that you're 19 and refuse to take your own autonomy back when it comes to cooking, not that she isn't letting you learn. Crack the egg

[@SirIsaac1313]

@@Mary-tx2eb she literally locks them up, I can't physically get to an egg even if I wanted to and it makes me feel like shit lol. I probably should've clarified that but it's not *just* a mental block unfortunately, I'm getting an apartment soon and I'm hoping to crack my first egg there !

[@cakestealer5983]

I feel this sort of thing so much where I just never got taught to do stuff for some reason. You go crack that egg I believe in you!

[@SirIsaac1313]

@@cakestealer5983 thank you ! I haven't gotten to do a lot of things in life so im excited for some freedom :)

[@Mary-tx2eb]

@@SirIsaac1313 Oh sheesh, you gotta get out of there man. Being that controlling over an egg ain't right. I'm sorry I misread your situation. You'll crack the egg.

[@unknown_Dread]

I don't weapons my incompetence, I just actually need more steps, like "go get a water case out the car" I go and get only one case bc they said "a case" it's not me weaponizing it, I just need more guidance😭 like I'll do it right the second time but still

[@Panzystubbedtheirtoe]

Ur so real for this actually

[@afrofaeries]

YES because I have diagnosed Level 2 autism since 12 and the way neurotypical people communicate makes me SEETHE WITH ANGER “The sink looks a bit full today.” TELL ME TO DO THE DISHES DAMN

[@Jaesdaes]

@@afrofaeries SO REAL (i need to get diagnosed but my mom refuses to accept the idea even though she literally describes all the tism traits for me...)

[@Jadeddoxy]

Ye

[@SewardWriter]

Yup. NT's need to be specific.

[@CloudsAndDays]

Growing up, my parents were always arguing about cooking and shit. My mom worked night shifts, so she’d be asleep during the day and dad would be in charge of cooking. My dad would always claim that he cooked ingredients ‘exactly to the recipe’. So, say, a recipe is for cooking shrimp. But the recipe assumes that the shrimp you have has already had the shell removed. My dad would just leave the shell on cause the recipe never said to remove the shell from the shrimp! Go eat your shrimp soup, yum yum, nummy shell. And he wouldn’t even follow the recipe exactly? He hated stove tops, so he’d bake every kind of food, and go on about how it would taste the same regardless. You ever eat soup made in an oven? Ever have soup with a crispy top? If he oversalted a food, mom would complain that the food was too salty. So the next time; he just wouldn’t salt the food at all. If we ever said we enjoyed a food he’d make, he’d start making it every day, and then get annoyed when we were tired of it and didn’t like it anymore. After a while; he started to claim mom was pushing him out of the kitchen with all her expectations. That he was making ‘gourmet meals’ ‘exactly following the recipe.’ It just got even more frustrating after my dad got fired from his job and stopped working in general.

[@melody3741]

“ if I don’t feed him, he literally won’t eat.” That means guys, that he doesn’t fucking eat. If you’re not gonna leave them you absolutely cannot take over the responsibilities that they will not do.

[@GreenVikeenArt]

I've lived 3 years with someone like this, it claws at your very soul after a moment. You can't be angry about it because it makes you a crazy nagging bitch, but they get crazy angry for the silliest reason and you just have to take it 😢

[@TreeHairedGingerAle]

☝🏾✨💯

[@AceSt4rr]

Omg THE HAIRCLIPS AND THE HAIR LOOKS AMAZING I have those hair clips

[@RepubsWannaMarryKids]

And the matching necklace... ❤❤

[@qwinlyn]

14:33 pro tip from a former baker. It’s not in the wrist, it’s in the elbow. When you’re actually whipping something up with a whisk, you basically want to make a motion like you’re….. shaking a cocktail and move the whisk back and forth, not in a circle. You learn that one your first time hand whipping cream.

[@emma-]

throwback to those times my dad yelled at me for not wrapping HIS christmas presents (for other people) because he "can't wrap good enough." and how did I get good enough at wrapping for him to ask me to do it for him? he gave me a lot of opportunities for extra practice that he could have used himself!

[@sometimeslemons]

My mom loves to do this stuff all the time. She’ll never do anything to help out at home and when she does she does it wrong. Which I know is on purpose because she literally did this stuff when she raised us 💀

[@owloko1349]

As a man I can say that I see this a lot. From something simple like washing clothes to things like study and reading. And it is very weird to see, I don't know why, but it makes me sick to my core seeing this, such a manipulating bastard move

[@jjjosie_]

not all men….. but somehow always a man …………….

[@Kalitayy]

and somehow it’s always hetero relationships 😭

[@cristyrogers8461]

Need this on a tshirt

[@dizzykitteh]

need this on a mug like an urban dictionary post

[@forest2727]

It happens to roommates too

[@jimmyalfonda3536]

Nah I know a woman like this. It may mostly be men, but there's always an exception to a rule.

[@reagan13579]

My little brother (23) really is clueless - he finds making an omlette difficult. Our mother told him he cant do anything and didn't risk letting him fail, so now he has to asks me very basic questions and lives with me so he can actually finish growing up. My husband, on the other hand, tried to pull this sh!t on me after our son was born. It took almost two years to make it clear he either steps up or I'm leaving. I had to take my son to stay with friends and not have a plane ticket back to make him realize I was serious. Especially since I can work from anywhere and I actually got MORE work done while staying with friends because they were far more support than I got from my husband, despite the fact they had a 3 month old and they did not babysit him (my little one stayed by my side the whole time).

[@laialuvv]

literally just screamed "WURLD POSTEDDD"

[@Sp_ce_Duckiii3zzz]

THE STAR HAIRCLIP THINGYS ARE SO PRETTY OMGOMG

[@celestwaker7848]

Weaponized incompetence can and likely will ruin your relationship with your romantic partner. If they do it, and continue to do it when you point out you know they’re doing it, then it’s time to move on. Don’t be like me and waste three years of your life. Great video, really enjoyed it.

[@Dork2099]

4:48 As a man who has been 5’ 9 & 1/2” since sixth grade I agree: NO TALL MEN

[@mabintykoroma6614]

to me above 5'8" is tall

[@Dork2099]

@@mabintykoroma6614God bless

[@lnsflare1]

On the other hand, weaponized incompetence and malicious compliance against bad employers/customers can potentially be completely justifiable.

[@vomgurl]

THANK YOU for that masterpiece of a fnaf joke AND reminding me about my fav fnaf song u are literally an angel. also those hair clips are so fucking cute what the fuck

[@mikio_thepuppy]

As someone who lives with someone who GENUINELY donest grasp basic knowledge. It’s annoying. If I tell them to clean the kitchen after I cooked. Dish would be on the counter, dishwasher is loaded but not started. And the reasoning for this behavior is, “you didn’t say to put up the dishes”. My head hurts

[@mathiasbartl903]

Friendly reminder that an Japanese intelligence officer survived twenty years alone in the jungle and surrendered wearing an immaculate uniform.

[@hw7003]

Its not just men that do this, my sister does it whenever i visit her. Its absolutely intentional too, when she has her boyfriend or family or friends she suddenly cant do the things she doesn't want to do, but when we arent there or are "being slow" or "not doing it right" suddenly she can figure it all out herself! Magical! I dont necessarily think its malicious, shes always been sort of the baby of the family despite not being the youngest and i think its just ingrained. I do think its contrubuted to her having trouble with long term relationships bc in part the guy gets tired of it. Shes been maturing more recently so i have hope.

[@hoobins_seacolors]

I just started the vídeo, you popped in my reccomended feed but I just wanna say: Your hair is SO PRETTY I love the hairpins and the way you styled ♡

[@WURLDSTAR]

thank you so much! :D

[@raeofsunshine8377]

when i was 12, i ruined my leftover ice cream cake by putting it in the fridge and not the freezer. my family still laughs at me for it 10 years later. if i saw a man getting off scot-free for leaving ice cream cake out on the counter, i would actually lose it.

[@blakeoarmboy]

Sometimes, especially someone with ADHD or parental issues, they just don’t know what their doing and have been conditioned to figure it out themselves or they get yelled at. Growing up my mom would be pissed with me whenever I made mistakes and immediately take over only to bring it up around family. Needless to say I’m afraid to do anything now. My mom would sometimes say I was being manipulative when I cried or felt sad. She’d also get annoyed if I asked too many questions. Don’t be quick to judge people on these tiktoks I could easily see myself on there cause I messed up on one specific detail. If someone messes up don’t hound them if they start asking a bunch of questions next time. We’re not robots which is good cause if we were then you’d need to give a dissertation on how to wash the dishes in order for us to understand as opposed to a simple could you wash this.

[@reet7060]

Nah these mfs are purposefully not doing it. It’s the same thing that’d happen in school. Teacher asks a question and purposely no one answers it and tries to wait out the teacher in awkward silence til they give in and feed the answer to the class. Now sure there are times when you just don’t know, but you have to show effort. You’d be pissed if you asked someone to do a basic task and instead of them saying “hey idk wtf I’m doing”, they just ruin it, wait for you to return and let you do it alone😂

[@ZOMBIEBLONDIEX]

I a woman who sometimes accidentally falls into the incompetence side of the argument, I don’t understand doing it on purpose. Every time I’m very embarrassed and I was doing my best.

[@dippypete4911]

making noise for the hairclips because AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH???!!!!!!???!!! SO CUTE???!!!???!!!!!!!

[@Bunnyleadd]

I have issues with scheduling, and thats kinda hard to have when your dad expects you to do the dishes. He says stuff like "you cant schedule the dishes. Do them when they're dirty." When I have explicitly stated that I need a schedule or else I'll forget ADHD and autism hit like a brick. Apparently I'm incompetent in his eyes for that lmao??? Update!!! New chore, with an actual schedule!!!

[@RepubsWannaMarryKids]

My dad just gave me a chore schedule, including scheduling the dishes... I dunno why yur can't.

[@jr5557]

I guess I just feel like why can't you make your own schedule like you know what is expected of you. You know you need a schedule to me. The next logical step is to make my own schedule. And I feel like it's better to make your own schedule versus having someone else schedule something for you when they don't know what else you have going on. Like I'm asking why do you need your dad to say say do the dishes everyday?

[@BlackVulpes]

forget about the uninformed responses in your replies, scheduling doesn't work well for ADHD people because you have to remember and plan ahead to use the schedule. These are people who cannot understand the mental energy it takes to pull your focus away from or put it on something of your own volition. Yeah the dishes still need to be done, but its not your fault for having a different brain. People just get too used to their own default settings and spend no energy for empathy to try and figure out if anyone else has to live differently. "Oh its easy for me, so why isnt it easy for you?" The mantra of the neurotypical.

[@CJ-simeonxsick]

@@BlackVulpesit’s all “mental health matters!” Until the symptoms/traits include unconventional things like struggling with hygiene or chores. I’m diagnosed with ADHD as well and struggle with that, but it’s not that I want things to be dirty. I literally have a developmental disorder that makes it hard to do things consistently. It’s much easier to do things on my own time.

[@radiatorbacon5239]

I’m gonna give you some tough love here. I have severe ADHD. if you need a schedule to do your chores, you should be responsible for making that schedule. Especially because right now you’re saying “I can’t do it because I don’t have a schedule” if he sat down and made you a schedule, you’d say “oh that schedule isn’t right, it doesn’t work for me/I don’t find it logical therefore I won’t use it”. But it doesn’t matter whether you have that schedule in the end, because even if you made a schedule yourself and it was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to pay attention to it or follow it. That’s not because you’re incompetent or dumb or lazy, it’s because you have ADHD and you’re in denial and you’re looking for excuses in your head to justify to neurotypical people why you can’t do things they find simple, in a way that makes it look like you’re trying/willing to try, but that things aren’t your fault. This comment reads like a sick person saying, I can’t call my doctor today, I feel sick and I’m tired. Your excuse highlights something that took me a long time to realize, with mental health conditions, a big part of getting better is first and foremost medical treatment, but second most importantly, it’s to stop making excuses for yourself. Doing something you don’t want to when you have adhd is hard, and when you’re in the moment it feels impossible. But it’s not about washing a whole sink of dirty dishes for 30 min-1 hr every other day. Instead, start by washing your own plates after you use them, and then try to encorporate a repeated chunk of time into your daily routine that you’ve already established that you’re comfortable with that’s once again super small. If you drink soda, smoke, eat candy, or really do anything that in one way negatively affects you, but you still like it so it’s a habit, try pairing that with doing a few dishes too. If you want a soda, make yourself wash 5 dishes, enjoy your drink and force yourself to wash the cup. I swear to you, on my life from one ADHD person to another that this is probably the best method that exists to beat adhd funk. If you actually develop a schedule, truth is by the time you have to do the task it’s going to look overwhelming. That’s the nature of it, so get ahead of it.

[@xenbonzacura5897]

I'll never understand how people do this on purpose, like, I fuck up a lot, and just don't *do* things that I know need done, but that's because of a cocktail of mental disorders that make it hard for me to take care of myself. It's embarrassing and makes me feel like I need to grow the fuck up until I spiral and do it all again. People act that way intentionally?

[@deed18]

Yep, some people equate love with maternity. They were either smothered or lacked that care in their youth so the way they continue or compensate is to use people to fill that role. This type of behavior is especially common in borderlines who are typically female.

[@realsmosher53]

My boyfriend did this, i got so fed up i threatened to leave multiple times but we were on a lease together and i didnt want to leave him alone with the apartment and bills after 5 years of dating. but two months before our 6th year anniversary he moved all his things out of the house and left me even though i was the one doing everything around the house, he had a better job but thats because i quit working with him to pursue my career and go back to school + get a new job in line with career. Because i was making less money and he was broke every week, and because he was lazy and never went out he felt "trapped" in the house even tho i couldn't leave because i had to do all the chores and homework. I cant stop seeing him and i want him to take me back but he treated me poorly and never really thought about me. Snacks? I always got him a treat from the store but he would only get me one if i asked and he would get the wrong things or things he liked that he could "share" with me. I would ask him to go out with his friends but he never would text them and he let them blame me every time he missed an event as if i was forcing him to stay home?? He said ill clean the bathroom that will be my thing, never cleaned the bathroom and i got mold sickness and i still want to be with him i need professional help idk whats wrong with me

[@catbiscuits4424]

It makes sense to find someone who will put in as much effort into you as you do into them... I'm pushing 40… Have heard your story from a lot of people over the years and to be blunt about it, The things that I've seen make people stay in that situation are either kids, a shared mortgage or a low sense of self worth. Those are the three flavours. Here's to hoping you find the person who loves you back.

[@00samira00]

Go to therapy

[@realsmosher53]

@@00samira00 lmao 🤣

[@sumlem]

Go no contact, alowly reach our to friends and family to build a community of people who care about you, and focus on your journey. You get used to being treated a certain way and accept the conditions you're accustomed to, but it was not a normal or healthy situation

[@metalgrateeater]

the stars in your hair is so cool thats such a good idea

[@aydenscott3304]

im a man and my dad does this shit on a day to day basis and it infuriates me. never knew it had a name until now. thank you😂gonna call his ass OUT

[@FatherOak]

The egg example got me heated. I had a friend that always wanted me to fry eggs for her! She said "your eggs taste better." It's just a fried egg!?

[@cheesecake5663]

Soul eater in the intro 😭🙏🏾

[@jupitersnoot4915]

I feel like sometimes i do this, but not out of laziness. I do it because i am genuinely nervous about trying to do something i've never done before in case i fuck it up. My brain would rather not try than try and mess up. Luckily i have no partner so my apprensiveness only affects myself

[@NT-sx2bd]

I turned 18 semi recently, I'm glad my parents didn't give up in teaching me i needed to do my part. I struggle with motivation but I still do chores because one day I'll live out on my own and I'll have to anyways.

[@Howlflame]

6:43 I'll be honest. I can cook all sorts of things. Give me the recipe, and I can make it pretty well. But... _I consistently fail with grilled cheese sandwiches._

[@monkey_says_hi]

just got home from school to see wurld upload a vid yall the world is healing

[@omgmo1962]

My girlfriend used to just put uncovered plates of food in the fridge 😭 because she didnt want to dirty storage containers and she was just going to microwave it later. I think it was a habit she picked up from her ex boyfriend 🥴

[@radiatorbacon5239]

I’m gonna be honest this isn’t actually weird. Most Americans will do this if they live on their own and plan to eat the plate within the next few hours, and a lot of people these days don’t bother with plastic wrap anymore because it’s bad for the environment and it’s expensive and sucks. If it’s a single plate worth of food it is not worth dirtying a container that will most likely take up more room physically than a plate.

[@sekiro_the_one-armed_wolf]

Okay…? This is like the most nothing burger example of “weaponized incompetence” I’ve ever heard lmfao.

[@ameekasoar]

Just cling wrap the plate

[@saturnbee.]

11:32 WURLD KNOWS THE FNAF LORE?? 😭❤

[@WURLDSTAR]

i’ve been in the trenches of that fandom since the first game came out LMAO

[@nicoleotalora9101]

GIRRL This is the first video of you that I´ve seen and I already love your style, like, immediately subbed I love your humor, the way you add into what's already been said, and also... BOJACK REFERENCES?? I'm in love

[@unusualsheep]

Guess who has a new favorite commentary KZbinr XD (genuinely tho this girl has a great balance between comedy and information 10/10)

[@vision_walker]

My ex boyfriend didn't know how to cook (except things like toast and eggs), and I did all the cooking while we lived together. He lives alone now and I asked what he eats since he can't cook and he said, "a lot of frozen dinners". This mans has the full opportunity to learn how, especially living on his own, but just doesn't.

[@donnienottello]

13:25 I have been taking on the task of making dinner for me and my partner because I'm currently not working and he works full time. I was vegetarian all throughout middle school and high school, so I NEVER learned how to cook literally any kind of meat. he's been kind enough to teach me how to cook different kinds of meat so I can better make us dinner because when I was first learning how to cook, I wasn't preparing meat for myself. like I JUST learned how to cook a chicken breast YESTERDAY.

[@kovanova9409]

Like that one woman my mother showed me doing the same shit and I had to point out what she was doing to get her to understand it's not funny and rather annoying to know It merely exists.

[@oatjuice5921]

ive utilized this power to its full extent at work but never ever considered it in social life. but now i do remember a couple of times that friends fuck up a simple task so bad to the point of it being ridiculous.

[@LibraryofAcousticMagic3240]

i just realized I do that with cutting onions. Specifically with onions in a setting where there are multiple people in the kitchen. when I am cooking alone I cut them. It is because I got reprimandedfor cutting them not small enough too many times. Now I assume people will trash talk me for the way I cut my onions even though I see no problem. Maybe I should start cutting onions myself in a social cooking session.

[@brigettelancome4063]

not “GOONER? we barely KNOW HER!!” 💀