The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.
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[@queencyrys6309]

I thought he was joking about the horse to tree thing.

[@TheGreatTitanor]

NOPE! (Chuck Testa.)

[@mikeauditore881]

nope!

[@DeyaViews]

+TheyCallMeGunny To be fair, either way things'll get fucked. You don't see the Baron again after that, and his second in command just takes over Crow's Perch and is much worse towards the local populace.

[@PsychicWars]

Yeah but you can at least scare off the Baron's thugs when they try to hassle the townsfolk.

[@Daniel-cg8rn]

1 is Dirk Right to

[@ArcaneKeeperD20]

On the next boxed edition of the Witcher Three: 'Story is quite good. I guess.' -Yahtzee Crowshaw. Witcher Three becomes the best selling game ever.

[@Punishthefalse]

***** Witcher 3 Director's Cut will have that exact line on its box.

[@alidan]

***** i wish a game would do this, i fucking wish they would... put a fuck ton of "its ok if you like this shit" on the box, sell it, and it turns out to be the second coming of christ in videogame format.

[@aprofondir]

***** Seriously. If your game is even slightly liked by Yahtzee then you're basically God.

[@truefenriz]

aprofondir Then, Portal 1 is the living incarnation of God while Silent Hill 2 is the Son/Daughter of God.

[@reinhardtpienaar1316]

aprofondir This is very true! If I remember correctly the only games he ever said was good was Half Life 2 and Bioshock.

[@thefloatingflea]

"One particularly nuanced character died as a eventual consequence of the result of me turning a evil tree into a horse, WELL NOW IT SEEMS OBVIOUS" I fucking lost it

[@iamacat9400]

lmao after i played the game i got the joke can i now claim my "you got the joke" reward ?

[@mitchelldurward8863]

To be fair, I'd you kill the evil tree, all the kids get murdered.

[@_efault]

I found a dope way to save the kids, the Baron and Anna... you can google if you want the spoiler (it's spoiler enough that this possibility exists and I apologize). I like happy endings so I've never done anything else in a handful of playthroughs (i guess I should). Does he mean the Baron?

[@RevoltOfAges]

If you like happy endings, The Witcher is not the series for you. So many intentionally very bleak endings to quests.

[@_efault]

@@RevoltOfAges there are happy possibilities to the end of the main quests in all of the games

[@bukay5861]

Monty Python does Westeros sounds like gold

[@alexdawson5293]

Severus Snape "I am Joffrey of houses Baratheon and Lannister. First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm" "well I didn't vote for you!"

[@poisonouslead85]

Alex Dawson Watery Tarts Distributing Swords 2016

[@KeithFraser82]

Severus Snape "You have woken the dragon...know what I mean? Eh? Eh? Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!"

[@Guyver2391]

Philly Cheese Merely a flesh wound

[@KeithFraser82]

Spoiler alert: in the final chapter/episode of the series, Dany will defeat the Others/White Walkers by telling them The Funniest Joke In The World.

[@corgistaniel1150]

3:50 I JUST WANTED TO SAVE THE ORPHANS GODDAMNIT.

[@phetaduck]

Stan Claas Why?

[@jollysouwester56]

Stan Claas To lazy to free the tree, mm?

[@MultiDawidus]

Stan Claas You did well, I chose the same thing, Did i feel bad for the viligers NOT ONE FUCKING BIT, Bastards were sending their own kids as sacrifice to keep their little village out of trouble. I'd just wish i could watch as the horse kills them all.

[@IMmephiles]

Stan Claas This makes me more curious to play the game than any review ever will.

[@MatthewSchellGaming]

Stan Claas I let them die. It was sad, specially talking to the crones and seeing them flaunting their body parts.

[@MrBusterofwar]

I like how Yahtzee doesn't even hide how he doesn't understand and outright ignores some of the mechanics.

[@jeremyrotenberg8426]

Please define “role playing game” for me real quick

[@weeseet]

"I wonder if he'll shit on Witcher 3 like he did the first two..." *Looks at dislike bar* "Guess not."

[@LeonGun8]

Meow Pretty much, he basically said "it's fine but there's such a thing as "too much". Which is true.

[@axelkusanagi4139]

LeonGun8 But it doesn't justify forcing us to buy a clunky new console with no backwards compatibility.

[@LeonGun8]

Axel Kusanagi Why wouldyou even have to.In fact, I don't reallyget Yathzee'swholepoint at the start of the video,unless what he was reallygetting at is that his PC sucks and could not run Witcher 3.

[@axelkusanagi4139]

LeonGun8 I wouldn't touch that debate with a 40 foot sterilized pole being held by somebody else.

[@fatkidwithfudge]

LeonGun8 That pretty much sounded like what he was saying

[@boiledelephant]

I laughed my ass off at a friend for admitting that he played Gwent. Then I tried it to see what the fuss was about. Then I played 12 hours of Gwent, and lost all self-respect.

[@jmurray1110]

Though equating it to yugioh is very wrong

[@E-Man5805]

Fun fact: They used an algorithm to do most of the dialog scenes in quests and such. As in no one was painstakingly animating everyone's face and bodies. A program handled it. I hope like Christ that BioWare can use that tech.

[@Squadwin]

Mass effect 1 has a fantastic story and from mass effect 2 and onward the gameplay is great as well. Choices are fine, sometimes they do matter, sometimes its out of your control, sometimes the budget is thin and merge :(. Also the atmosphere is great, the art etc etc. The Citadel is still mindblowing to look at. Not to mention the great lore and world they built. It's like the first time I've seen human-alien relations in such a great way. Where else are you going to find stuff about politics/romance/jokes/fighting/conspiracies/intrigue with aliens in such a deep manner? I mean, almost every other sci fi has humans with long ears for aliens. Maybe sometimes a change of color.

[@Squadwin]

***** You sound like someone who is blowing everything out of proportion, impossible to have a decent discussion with.

[@Squadwin]

***** You sounded like someone who doesn't like it and can't figure out why. You didn't come off as hateful and ignorant in your first comment.

[@captainpronin5264]

Well, someone animated the faces and the code makes sure the right animations are played at the right time. Every developer does it that way, even bioware, the problem is just that when the animations are shit in the first place, playing them at the right time doesnt make them any less shitty. And the main problem with bioware isnt the quality of their animations, although they are embarrasingly bad at times, but their writing, which has been getting progressivly worse since dragon age 1.

[@Gswright81]

Bioware actually did use animation algorithms on swtor facial animations

[@Raveityourway]

Literally I've no fucking idea how you do it, Yahtzee, but you explain video games so well with the weirdest analogies. The high school reunion one was so true man.

[@Thraim.]

At least he has his memories back in this one. The weirdest thing for me was when he would meet someone in the first game he didn't remember and five minutes later everyone just acted perfectly chummy with each other.

[@nintendolegoboy]

AdalRoderick omg so true

[@GodWarsX]

Literally?!?!

[@Bankstercide]

...to which the Stallion replied, "Neigh".

[@marcus4046]

4 years and no comment........damn no one knows a good comment when they see one laughed for 5 mins thx man.

[@azzzanadra]

@@marcus4046 well its a pun

[@marcus4046]

@@azzzanadra doesn't mean you cant leave a good opinion of the comment or a bad one.

[@azzzanadra]

@@marcus4046 well to be honest, i also laughed, i just wanted to start a comment thread

[@tuna5305]

Furry?

[@MagoDSnowman]

After any of this videos my inner voice starts sounding like Yahtzee.

[@karljurdens627]

Same

[@bindair_dundat]

Starts? How did you make it stop in the first place? It's been years since I heard my own voice in my head. :D

[@exceedcharge1]

My internal thoughts have started to take on his speaking methods

[@Londronable]

Bindair Dundat I only discovered Yathzee about 3 months ago. I watched almost 400 episodes in like 2 days. I would write like Yahtzee speaks ffs.

[@minch333]

Mago The Snowman Is it as quick though?

[@krisstasko]

"witcher we sat me down and said: 'ALRIGHT _FUCKFACE_'" I die every time

[@thinkingoutloud3757]

I did find myself very over-leveled by the end of the game because I was exploring everywhere and trying to do everything. It didn't cease the addiction of the game but it was a bit of a bummer. Then you get the expansions and it all goes away. And the expansions are real, old-school-style expansions, like the first one is 10-12 hours, and the final one has around 50 hours - basically it's Witcher 4: Epilogue.

[@JoeMartinez18]

probably because it's pretty new, or people want to lvl to be OP

[@thinkingoutloud3757]

Aleksanteri Sumiloff Holy shit man, that changed everything. Sucks I'm well into Blood & Wine, 220+ hours of play time, before I finally get to experience a consistent challenge. WELP, guess I'll be doing New Game Plus

[@thinkingoutloud3757]

Joe A. Verage My edgelord detector is at 12

[@thinkingoutloud3757]

Joe A. Verage "you're" + you have been promoted to Grand Edgemaster

[@thinkingoutloud3757]

Joe A. Verage Desperately posturing as if we're in any sort of formal debate to save face, firmly stating ad hominems as the heart of your premise, then awkwardly backpedaling to "differing opinion" like a weak-willed little boy, "as we all know," as if using some non-existent friends for moral support -- +200,000XP --- you have been promoted to Arch Mage of Edge

[@lightingale]

Ladies and Gentlemen. GLORIOUS PC GAMING MASTER RACE... strikes again. That's all.

[@jordanj809]

Shit, man. Did u really have to rub it in. :(

[@hairyson94]

People still use that term unironically? That's pathetic.

[@Swordsman99k]

Harry Weir People also unironically only own a console. There's a lot of pathetic in the world.

[@ShadowWolfRising]

Aiden Pearce look forward to playing Persona 5 on PC- OH WAIT!

[@glitchsmasher]

ShadowWolfRising "Muh exclusives"

[@karmascamera5275]

I am shocked that those damn candles weren't even mentioned I'm calling a redux for this one

[@TheLeadZebra]

Karmas Camera They've been fixed now, so not really worth mentioning

[@thepianoist]

Karmas Camera Even before they were fixed the candles didn't bother me. Not sure what all the hullabaloo was about.

[@NirDafnai]

Karmas Camera It got patched :)

[@FirefoxisredExplorerisblueGoog]

Karmas Camera Those wax devils are the stuff of nightmares, you just can't get away from 'em... they're everywhere, EVERYWHERE. Joking aside, at first I thought it was a neat addition. Then I quickly found out that not every room is as spacious as Geralt's master bedroom in Kaer Morhen... The candles turn every loot binge in a mini-game of "avoid the candle". Especially with agonizing input delay on keyboard, looting is bad enough as it is. I wish I could just burn those wax candles to the ground, all of them. No more Geralt the Witcher, instead I'd be known as Geralt the Waxer throughout all of Velen.

[@hobbes296]

Niro Are you sure, I'm still having issues with them, or at least was just a couple days ago. Or maybe I'm just horribly bad at positioning myself. XD

[@horngeek9115]

"Badly dubbed Polish soap opera" ...given the origins of this game, this may be a fairly apt metaphor, actually.

[@pablodonner5213]

This is right on so many levels

[@chrisff1989]

Yes that was clearly the joke

[@Metaphix]

@@chrisff1989 lol

[@maggiem6209]

It wasn't until I got really into the entire world of the media and all the different adaptations that I realized how hilariously apropos this was.

[@swedneck]

To anyone feeling like oils do fuck all, by jove get the enhanced versions because they offer up to 50% extra damage. The enhanced versions also have more charges meaning they last longer.

[@activeoverlord]

having all superior oils is a given at a certain point and you can always reapply mid fight or get an auto-apply mod. their real strength comes from those sweet sweet oil perks in the alch tree: apply correct oil > become practically invincible with 100% crit chance and guaranteed poison plus the oil's naturally effect > realize DM is now too easy

[@swedneck]

RadicalWizard Aye that's what im saying, oils are great and anyone dissing them is missing out on some real good buffs.

[@cambur3]

Not to mention your sword won't degrade as fast when you're using less hits to kill the things.

[@cakeisamadeupdrug6134]

I modded weapon degradation out. It wasn't a fun mechanic.

[@samgoldstein1993]

One thing about the potions: Yes, most of the time the potions are unnecessary - but, decoctions are not! Decoctions are super useful and the best ones make life easier. Plus, they last for like 20 minutes by default, and you can bring that up to around 60, so its not like you're constantly using them before each fight. I found that actually going for an alchemy focused build that could use like 4 decoctions at once made me basically unkillable!

[@Morrigi192]

If the only real complaint from Yahtzee is "too much content", they've done something right.

[@RaylaEclipse]

He made other complains though. Boring combat, a lot of name dropping a newcomer to the game has to deal with, and general glitchiness to name a few.

[@maximtcaciuc2904]

@@RaylaEclipse I think they did a good job ironing out the bugs and glitches as the ones I've experienced on my recent playthrough was almost always Roach getting stuck in weird places, I'd put combat at almost the same level as Dark Souls, and with mods you can really make it very Dark Souls like.

[@RaylaEclipse]

@@maximtcaciuc2904 "at the same level as dark souls" In what world. Yes, they both have dodging, swords, and some form of parrying, but that's where the similarities end. Dark Souls combat is far less clunky than TW3's, and that's even taking into account that DS1 was kinda clunky itself. Souls games also have infinitely more variety in their combat opposed to 300 swords and like 4 shitty maces/axes. The movement in the Witcher is clunky all the time, with Geralt being a little wonky to control, and it definitely doesn't benefit the combat when he moves somewhere he shouldn't. Nothing feels impactful either, sure there are satisfying kill moves, but if that makes combat satisfying than every AC game would be praised for their combat.

[@executioner_ecgbert884]

Ive got to say, I greatly disagree. I've played both and I thought the controls were way clunkier on dark souls. In fact, the clunky ass controls is exactly why I quit playing dark souls. Not sure how Witcher 3 combat is clunky at all. Except for the crossbow

[@titus17]

@@RaylaEclipse "souls games have infinitely more variety in their combat" walk up to enemy 1. dodge, swing weapon 2. dodge, cast spell 3. dodge swing weapons and cast spells 4. use a shield and be useless unless you go for parry, parry then hit r1. phew the possibilities are endless. btw i like both tw3 and dark souls but stop it with the embellishment. both games have their flaws and shortcomings. also, calling everything "kind of clunky" is like saying "idk it just feels weird" and acting like it's a good enough explanation

[@truefenriz]

After much disapproval, the Witcher series finally gains the approval of Yahtzee. That should be noted on all GOTY versions of Witcher 3. Edit: I forgot this comment even existed here and I've removed all the prior edits to replace it with this one.

[@riquelme3764]

Isaac Loo "Now a yahtzee approved game!"

[@dragontrikic]

Isaac Loo its not he disapprove more like "to complex/complicated for him"

[@shittavert]

Guess your right he only put shit on his face about 2 time so that's a good sign lol

[@j97n75]

Inquisitor Trevelyan on the scale of how pretentious he is I'd give him a blood orange.

[@TheZarkoc]

***** The first had great storytelling and an open diverse world the second had good game-play and graphics and now it has both.

[@johnkiezulas7439]

My personal rating of the witcher games Witcher 1 - Ok, not bad, but needs alot of work Witcher 2: Assassin of kings - Pretty darn good, but you made some new problems Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Could continue main quest, but im too busy doing everything else in the game. in other words, near perfection.

[@ryansmith3448]

Witcher 1: Mastered atmosphere and story. Gamplay could use some work. Witcher 2: Too short. Story suffers compared to first. Combat better, but now oversimplified for some reason. Too many bright vibrant colors. Atmosphere ruined. Witcher 3: CPU not adequate. I've herd its good.

[@edkopik]

CD projekt red doing the 3 games: 1-so this is how you make a game! 2-so this is how you make a good game! 3-so this is how you go down in history!

[@johnkiezulas7439]

Pretty much. Also 3 DLC- so this is how you make expansions!

[@Frikgeek]

Actually no. CDPR kinda forgot what year it was and accidentally released a 10h DLC for 10$ and a 50h DLC with an entire new region for 20$. That might've been fine in 2001 but in 2016 it's just...weird. You're supposed to release some lazy texture mod for 5$ and a 2h side story for 20$.

[@TXFDA]

How are the DLCs anyway? Just bought the goty version with them for $25. Only just started the game so it'll be a while before I get to them.

[@LostInTheClouds]

I think one thing this game does better than any other AAA open world game to date is the level of detail in its map. To name one example that shocked me when I was first playing through the game: when you come to a location where two paths meet, they've actually gone through the trouble of creating wear on the intersection corners based on which direction people would be going. So people cutting the corner creates wear indicating a highly traveled route, or at least more highly traveled than the other corner. Because of this, if you follow the most worn corners you will always reach a town. A real world example of this would be, well all paths but let's go with driveways for simplicity's sake, if you only ever turned left out of your driveway then the left corner would be worn out but the right corner would remain in an almost square angle with the road. Though I guess that analogy doesn't work quite as well with asphalt driveways lol.

[@CSLucasEpic]

CSI Narnia.... okay, that works.

[@alwaysangry2232]

"Monty Phyton does Westeros", that's sounds pretty awesome actually

[@InstrucTube]

I would watch both Monty Python does Westeros, and CSI: Narnia. Please make this happen.

[@r3v4n21]

Geralts white hair and pale skin are also a side effect of his mutation. And in the Prolog, Vesemir says that he is almost 100 years old while looking like 35 and younger without his beard

[@r3v4n21]

***** It is. No other witcher has hair as white as he does

[@TheShoeCheese]

***** Geralt's white hair is a side effect of additional mutations he was chosen for, he was the only witcher to survive these. This is my first witcher game but it says it right on the witcher wiki.

[@budimx]

***** it is a rare side effect, on witcher 1 the other witchers said that they thought gerald would die when his hair turned white

[@r3v4n21]

***** Lol, you just edit your comment to random bullshit because you cant take the shame of being wrong ?

[@catmatt777]

***** If we're on the subject of age in relation to appearance, it's worth noting that Vesemir is at least a few centuries old.

[@FancyTophatDude]

yahtzee called it semi-good, which means it's one of the greatest games ever made

[@boiledelephant]

A line I always remember from his early reviews is "what I'm trying to squeeze out like a constipated shit is a recommendation. It's not perfect, but then what is, besides Columbo?" I love how much me hates admitting a game is good.

[@idiotsplayinggames4752]

@boiledelephant which review is that?

[@johnathanmartinez6346]

Gotta respect his ability to hold up the escapist all by himself

[@galaxy-wg1lf]

Well goddamn

[@TheMrMacintosh]

I do get the feeling Yahtzee played this on the normal difficulty, which honestly doesn't do the game any justice. I played it on hard and it was fucking insane and if I didn't do any sidequests I wouldn't even be the required level for the main quests.

[@linkno1]

Tim Van Aelst Normal difficulty is supposed to be the default difficulty a game is tuned to, with hard being the challenge and easy being for newbies. Though yea, with any game these days, hard should be the difficulty you play and judge considering 'normal' has become more like 'very fucking easy for lobotomized puppies'

[@TheMrMacintosh]

linkno1 Yeah "Normal" these days is "Normal for people who're used to playing CoD and getting everything they want by pressing 2 buttons".

[@sirtwiddleythebrave5497]

linkno1 That wasn't true for the Halo games, normal was default but it specifically said that the best experience was on heroic mode.

[@linkno1]

Edward Wright There are obvious exceptions to the rule (some games don't even have difficulty options) but really, normal should be the most 'balanced' mode of a game. Anything above it should be where I go to 'test myself'.

[@baklazan777]

Tim Van Aelst Really? I played it on hard and it was pretty difficult, for the first 10 levels or so. Afterwards I learned that killing human enemies is really easy as long as they're not the type that can parry and monsters have such obviously telegraphed attacks I mostly just spammed left mouse button with quen on all the time. The only challenge was taking enemies 3-4 lvls ahead of you but a challenge based on numbers(1 lvl more and you do 3 times the damage while taking 3 times less) is boring ; ( I still loved the game but I do agree with yathzee here.

[@zetazetaman]

As someone who also fell for the tree-horse, I can sympathize...

[@LHzeldaman]

I've met people who worked on the game and they legitimately loved thier jobs so it's no surprise to me the game was good

[@alexpridham6759]

"As the house wife said to the randy stallion, it's possible to put too much in." is my all time favorite quote now.

[@freXampl]

"witching license" Gerald of thingy.

[@totalal4601]

"Toss a coin to your Yahtzee, a friend of humanity!" Yahtzee: hmm...

[@thecasualgamer5578]

3:50 Haven't finished the game yet and am now waiting in terror to see which character dies because of my enhanced ability of making shit choices.... Fuck and I didn't even put that ability in my skill tree

[@geertwilders911]

blood baron

[@thecasualgamer5578]

+geertwilders911 yep finally finished the game a few weeks ago

[@DeyaViews]

First thing I did with abilities was put stuff into Axii just for the added dialogue options. It made life so much easier.

[@JoeMartinez18]

well "Dialogue options" It's more like being Ben Kenobi fucking up stormtroopers.

[@mustekkala]

After a while i only talked with my sword, worked pretty well.

[@CamTroid]

I wonder why Yahtzee still doesn't have a high-end gaming PC, considering how much he rants about the modern consoles being shit (which they totally are). You'd think the Escapist would pitch in, which I bet they have for most of his other platforms.

[@Zlx1]

***** After experienced a real gaming computer with a price tag equivalent of a busy whore after a months worth i now look back with dismay. Fuck Yahtzee is really starting to penetrate my inner mind... Case in point, it's simply a luxury to be able to play on max graphics.

[@DiscGolfLeagueMVP]

CamTroid He lives in Australia, I think. PC parts in the Southern Hemisphere are ridiculous.

[@AGrumpyPanda]

E1_KD Everything here costs way more. We call it the "Australia Tax"

[@DiscGolfLeagueMVP]

AGrumpyPanda Even here in South Africa, Casual $740 USD for a GTX 980 :D

[@dinoseen3226]

***** You answered your own question with the final words in it :P

[@jamesblake9442]

If Yahtzee thinks it's "pretty good I guess" it must be really dang good

[@raptorjesus3894]

One of my issues with this game is I cannot be as Canadian as I like. I cam across a guy who wanted me to find his son, turned out he was dead and while yeah, I found his son, pay up, that guys going to need a funeral, god knows there are enough wraiths. Also there was one guy that wanted me to kill a monster in a swamp, I accepted it for the cheapest fee the game would let me go (I am rolling in the money), I killed the thing and told the dude, only to have him go "sigh, I don't have that coin on me, I have kids and a wife to feed and the harvest season has been rough, I can pay you double in a week", this was annoying, Geralt's Witcher, not a loan shark, why am I allowed to get away with not accepting pay from a guy who had to take in an orphaned kid but not this guy? My other issue is how over leveled I was, I didn't do alot of side quests as I wanted to get through the game rather quickly but I still found myself doing a couple as they were very interesting but by the end of the game when it came time to fight the main baddie I was almost level 60 and he was level 30 and the first time he hit me I didn't even notice, then he hit me again but this time I noticed, my healthbar didn't consist of enough pixels to show how immensely little damage he did to me, hell I grew thirsty while fighting him and went to grab a drink and when I returned I realised I had forgotten to pause while he had continued to wail on me for the 2-3mins I was gone and my healthbar had still not visibly moved and all I could do was think "Was I supposed to fight less shit and do less side quests?" because the dogs and actual soldiers of the dude army did more damage to me and he had a sword that was like 8 foot long and powerful enough to create mini earthquakes while it was nothing more than an ant, an ant with no legs or mouth things.

[@Sellipsis]

You could just never go back to him and pretend as if you didn't want the money in the end. Still, the reason behind it could be that Geralt is his own person with his own quirks, virtues, and vices. My brief time playing Witcher 2 had me appreciate a character who actually wasn't running a charity adventure or took crap from people who weren't going to pay him to risk his life for their interests, something that other games try to make you feel dreadfully about when you ask them for money.

[@TheJupiteL]

He's a professional, lots of people already knew him, if he can't maintain his reputation as a monster slayer but rather as a soft hearted hero, nobody will respect him as a witcher anymore. Also you can always scale up the enemy levels in the gameplay option if you haven't notice, I also found it so late to the game.

[@carsonchiu6069]

if you read the books, all geralt does is fight things for money cause he's poor

[@TheJupiteL]

Carson Chiu also that. Damn peasants with their petty rewards.

[@mattbyers6560]

There is a setting that makes lower leveled enemies your level, at least on pc

[@TengouX]

3:12 That laugh always gets me, how does he make his voice crack so perfectly at the exact right time

[@surpomp100]

If you find the combat easy turn up the difficulity

[@Sleepy.Time.]

Fulufu not true, one thing that really breaks the combat is how quickly the enemies leash back to there starting point leaving you free to meditate back to full health and potions within 30 yards of them...this game is a great base but like Skyrim its screaming for mods to improve pretty much every aspect of it

[@tFaYue]

Sleepy .Time if u increase the difficulty at all past normal u can't meditate your health up. so.....

[@Sleepy.Time.]

Paolo Masakayan but it does not stop the enemies from only chasing you a few steps before they run back to their spawn point

[@erfanashkan5925]

Sleepy .Time depends on the ennemy you cant run away from a specter that tp's to your location, or a grifon flying over you

[@Sleepy.Time.]

erfan ashkan they will still leash after a while, ive agroed a number of higher level enemies just to get close enough to see what level they are and ive yet to die doing so because they only chase for a short distance

[@YumLemmingKebabs]

The Crones have got to be the most menacing villains I've seen in a video game in a while.

[@WeeabooASMR]

The Bitcher 3

[@baklazan777]

Bravo gentlemen

[@MrImperatorRoma]

***** I'd tip my fedora but the OP seems to have foresaw the need and done it already.

[@Eric-sy1xu]

***** Next Shadbase comic in the making right there

[@KeithFraser82]

MrImperatorRoma M'eme.

[@ouiVEVO]

Niceme.me

[@brendan4070]

Now I'm waiting for Joseph Anderson to do this but like way longer

[@Skillmen]

2:12 one of the best parts - havent laughed so hard in a long time - Thanks for being who you are keep up the great work

[@TheVen56]

Can't wait for him to do the stand-alone Gwent game.

[@BlazeBluetm35]

he won't, he didn't do hearthstone no reason to do gwent, if he didn't like it.

[@alwest4472]

@@BlazeBluetm35 yeah he's joking

[@qdllc]

If he thought Gwent was bad, he should have tried poker dice in the prior games. Gad, that sucked big time.

[@TheNightWatcher1385]

Has it really been 4 years since Witcher 3 came out? Feels like last year.

[@Muddyres]

The Night Watcher that’s how fun it is

[@FlickFlag]

This guy is purely brilliant. Every major and minor subject or influence the game was addressed in the most wonderful fashion.

[@Grapitura]

"Huffing compressed air" I see you are a man of culture as well

[@FELONIOUSBOLUSS]

Uhh...how can you complain about a game having too much high quality content?

[@atlerthedark3639]

Alpaca Man Well he has to complain about *something*

[@antonflax814]

Alpaca Man How can Someone Complain about Being Stuffed dead with pancakes that is Slowly killing you for Each Momment?

[@daxxkid101]

He may just mean too much content in general, high quality or not.

[@antonflax814]

***** Meh why not? all i want is pancakes not a River of Pancakes

[@antonflax814]

***** No i want a Level 10 Pancake Food item please

[@MrSafer]

" they stuck a hilt on an unusually long pringle" i am am dying over here, where have you been my whole life!?

[@deenanthekemoni9821]

Finding this channel just made my fucking day. Its actually pretty rare that I find content this genuinely comical.bravo! Subbed.

[@kram9863]

WOAH WOAH!!! Did he just say GWENT is BORING?!?!? BLASPHEMY i say!

[@zerrierslizer1]

1. let me see what you have 2. need any monsters killed? 3. GWENT!?

[@Entropy3ko]

Gwent is boring. I basically skipped it after the first fiew times I played it

[@Badenhawk]

@@Entropy3ko same. Card games just don't so it for me, especially when the reward is low. I had to force myself to like triple triad in FF8 since it's the best way to get the best stuff in the game, so much that it's weird that it's bith optional and a core game mechanic. Very high reward compared to the work put in.

[@SageOutsider]

Care for a round of Gwent?

[@sebastianlacroix5871]

what is the point of playing a static card game in a bigger game with monsters and tits?

[@TheRupertLitterbin]

All I want to know is does Charles Dance die on the shitter in The Witcher 3 too or is he too modest?

[@buffoonustroglodytus4688]

He shits in your fucking bed mate.

[@KeithFraser82]

TheRupertLitterbin Imagine if that became the thing he got typecast for. "We have a scene where a guy dies in the toilet! Call Charles Dance!"

[@eyegrinder94]

Keith Fraser He'd always be credited as "Dignant man who dies in bathroom".

[@DomClancy]

the high school reunion bit about the dialogues? holy shit so goddamn well written

[@Elbethium]

"by jove" - killed me

[@zedek_]

Got to play it on hard! It really feels like the "intended" difficulty setting.

[@Aeradom2000]

Zedek Yeah, my brother was all cocky because he killed a basilisk that was a skull to him at the time. I asked him what difficulty and he said normal and thus he did. Not five minutes later he's bitching about how much harder a group of bandits were then the dragon! I promptly replied, "Welcome to the Witcher 3" :)

[@alonglongway4443]

Zedek By hard do you mean blood and broken bones or death march. Because of blood and broken bones it felt too easy.

[@zedek_]

Alonglong Way Death March is the way to go, imo.

[@KeithFraser82]

Zedek Insert "hard" joke here.

[@trignite]

Zedek Death march just emphasizes on the games shitty combat and flaws. I killed the last bosses on death march and it was an absolute cake walk but it was boring as shit because they were damage sponges and their small moveset made it really repetitive and boring. Turning the difficulty up just made the fight take longer it didn't feel harder at all, at the begining of the game everything is pretty difficult and you have to manage all your food etc well because lack of supply. After like level 15-20 the game is cake walk for the most part but you will find weird inconsistencies like a level 26 cyclops being easly killed in one or 2 whirls without being hit and a level 15 pack of drowners being able to stunlock you. There are a LOT of enemies in this game which are easily abused on any difficulty death march just makes it take longer, trolls attacks can all be interrupted apart from 1 or 2 you can easily kill a level 35 one at level 20-25 without being hit. It's literally just wait for it to start attacking and hit him then repeat for 40minutes, yeah it's great fun... If i ever play this game again i'm going to start on normal so i can rush through the combat because there is hardly any depth to it and it makes some fights take a stupid amount of time which can make them boring.

[@9asyhd9sahgdsahd59]

"It's possible to put to much in". That's easily THE line to describe Witcher 3.

[@L3g0m4nn]

There is never too much mate

[@_sleepco]

If you're new to Yahtzee this is about as close to a positive review you can get. And it loosly translates to "this is the game of the year"

[@BelieveInUrself93]

I haven't watched a Zero Punctuation video in years I didn't know he was still keeping these up (admittedly I haven't been part of the gaming community for some time) but he's still as on the point and actually hilarious as ever.

[@caseytrelka0]

I did all the side quests, they were more engaging than most of the main story, fucking great game. Hearts of Stone had the best main quest. Master Mirror was fucking great

[@taylorfields9200]

Well the oils can make you 25% more efficient once you upgrade them, and with potions added to those you can get things done much faster if you prepare for a fight. That being said you aren't forced to prepare, which is both good, and bad. Good because I don't have to stop to drink my poisons every 10 minutes, bad because it takes away the whole "You will prepare for this fight or you will die enough that spending a hour questing for better gear and levels would've saved you time."

[@iriasu1667]

I'm using a 7750 which is a mid-range gpu from 2012. At lowest setting, 1024x768 I can get ~40fps (fraps also take resource though). So, I say W3 is pretty optimized. What surprise me the most was how short the loading time was even though I'm using ordinary HDD.

[@BadassRockets]

found the fanboy

[@JanneSala]

+Baja What?

[@Hush.Elementz]

+Baja Actually, I have the same setup. This dude isn't kidding

[@hazardousmaterial5492]

yes,that would be because the developers of the game,CD Projekt Red,actually put a lot of work in their games and make sure the are done properly

[@shelbylongbottom5865]

Let's hope the extra 2 months on No Man's Sky make it good. Then Hello Games can become the next CD Projekt Red.

[@contmike]

The oils and the whetstone upgrade help a lot on higher difficulty levels.

[@CoiledMTG]

the witcher games are basically fan fiction x3

[@OckhamAsylum]

+Coilean Kinda. I mean, if you replaced Geralt's face with the face of a fanfic author, and that's the only change you made, then it would hit literally all of the notes of self-insert fan fiction. "Look at my unique white hair, my striking golden eyes, my rippling muscles bursting with manhood, my cold loner personality, my ability to be better than everyone at everything, but everyone treats me like I'm a freak, and yet I get hoards of women so hot that they set fire to bushes as they walk past." You couldn't get a better Mary Sue template if you opened up the TVTropes page for Mary Sues and incorporated all of the qualities listed there into a Frankenstein-like abomination of Mary Sueness.

[@CoiledMTG]

OckhamAsylum what I meant. Geralt is dead in the books and the author said for good. so them bringing him back

[@OckhamAsylum]

Coilean Oh. I guess this is one of those deals where I should have read the books.

[@olseneudezet1]

+OckhamAsylum well, Geralt's character was created in the '80s, so he's a bit cliche, yeah.

[@Tech-Kaplan-Kali]

He was created in second half of 90's. And author never actually said if Geralt was trully dead, he wanted the ending to be more "open"

[@Pellaeon159]

Just play on Death March... you will understand the potions and oils... you will have to.

[@zomtron]

Or spin to win, or so I've heard

[@BIadelores]

Witcher 1: Diamond in rough. Brilliant concepts, ideas and strong atmosphere inspite of less-than ideal technology. Maybe a bit too finnicky. Fairly uninvolving combat. Technically and mechanically speaking it is the obvious worst in the series, but the music and atmosphere give it a special place in my heart. Witcher 2: The game that got me in the series. An awesome game in its own right, but along the extra polishing (lol), a bit of the heart was lost. Effort and care was very obviously put into it and technologically and mechanically speaking it is leaps and bounds ahead of TW1 to the point that it's hard to believe they're only 4 years apart, but the atmosphere isn't as strong and a bit of the charm was lost. Objectively better than TW1, but it's probably my least favorite in the series even if it's still one of the best RPGs of the decade. Witcher 3: *FUCKING FLAWLESS.* - The atmosphere is there, the story is there and more emotionally investing than ever, the gameplay is better than ever and the world is bigger than ever while still being one of the most beautiful looking games to exist. Pure fucking class, and the best RPG, or game, of the decade thus far.

[@AlexStarkiller1]

I've never seen anyone understand why he doesn't like something less than you, Joe.

[@AlexStarkiller1]

Joe A. Verage Oh yeah, I'm saying I'm a god. Good guess. Or I could be saying that you saying The Witcher 3 is "a shitty game for morons" with "gameplay ripped out of an N64 game" is so undeveloped and ignorant that you couldn't possibly be serious and also know why you dislike it. And you're clearly serious.

[@GonnaDieNever]

honestly I tried the witcher 3 and got about 10 minutes in before I got bored with it. Skyrim on the other hand I have played through fully about 12 times, and lord knows how many other characters. honestly speaking I didn't meet any characters I liked in that 10 minutes, so I quit.

[@AlexStarkiller1]

Tancread of Galilee The first 10 minutes of Skyrim are pretty infamous for being the most boring intro ever. What I'm saying is that maybe the Witcher 3 would also open up and appeal to you if you actually tried it.

[@GonnaDieNever]

Alexander Horta While I agree that I perhaps did not playt it long enough to give it a solid reveiw, opne of the charachters i liked the least was teh titulant witcher himself, so I doubt that I would be able to put up with more of his Batmanning throughouit the game.

[@JCDenton2012Modder]

At last, Witcher rolled a Yahtzee!! XD

[@berengerchristy6256]

In defense of the oils, a superior oil grants a 40% (or 50% I can't remember) damage bonus which is quite powerful. Especially if you are playing on death march difficulty. You are playing on death march, right everyone?

[@isaackopstein3367]

Can honestly say that i haven't had any trouble with the PS4 version.

[@Cauceboi]

Me neither, I've no idea why he took the first minute shitting all over a console

[@cyrus233able]

+Cameron Jacquot At the time of release it would often fall below 30 FPS. In october last year they released a patch that fixed it to be pretty much always 30 FPS., but obviously that was after this review.

[@Cavs191]

Cameron Jacquot The frame rate was bad it’s fixed now but I didn’t really see why every one loves the Witcher three so much. I thought it was a bit soulless and boring for me.

[@qdllc]

This why I usually wait for GOTY or complete editions. You let others find the bugs then see what gets patched. At least it’s not like the prior two where opening any door gave you a loading screen.

[@zerrierslizer1]

*LAUGHS IN UPSIDE DOWN HORSE-BACK RIDING*

[@jollysouwester56]

The pronunciation of Geralt is killing my ear drums!

[@Menroth.]

I'll never forget when it released and the crafting materials had weight.

[@MehmetOezil]

Gwent boring? There's something wrong with you mate

[@bioshockking998]

+supermysticsonic2 it alright i guess

[@TheKazu22]

I guess you can't play...

[@TheJupiteL]

I wish you can choose your starter pack. Northern Realm set is the worst of all.

[@applenrd]

I'm loving nilfgaard (or as I like to call it, milf guard)

[@RasoKye]

I thought it was too, until late I figured it out, now it's time to d d d d dddddddduel.

[@VeknesWaran]

was one of those guys who hated Gwent but then I learned the decks from the Northern Realm to Monsters and with efficient bluff strategy and a solid deck, no opponent is too tough to beat. Gwent is easy to learn hard to master and incredibly well made.

[@daniellipko710]

4:22 Dead Parrot sketch reference. IT HAS CEASED TO BE

[@grimmacemack76]

One of the best games ever made

[@1983Corolla]

As much as I love Witcher 3 I do agree with Yahtzee on his point about combat being too deep because yes the oil and bomb mechanics are cool but I literally never used them, just normally attacking things and using the Signs got me through the game just fine even on the second hardest difficulty.

[@FlintSparkedStudios]

+kabeltelevizio I really liked that there was a skill tree that increased the efficacy of the oils and even gave you a defensive boost against monsters. It was like a reward for just playing the game a little more thought out.

[@StupidButCunning]

I think the vast amount of story available is actually a good thing, because you can continue playing through certain quest chains and ignore others through every replay. That combined with the (relatively) drastic differences from different choices (sometimes) allow for a lot of variety and replayability.

[@QuantumRipple]

I love how the potions are often useless but if you play your cards right you become an unstoppable coked up berserker

[@Marksman3434]

“Why don’t they just call it Monster Hunter Th- oh wait.” 😂

[@Evanthestrange]

I feel like a lot of Yahtzee's problems with games would be solved if he just bumped up the difficulty.

[@iamdeath2u]

That horse thing really got me, because I thought I had considered all of the possible outcomes of that quest, but as soon as it happened, I realised how obvious it was.

[@jamielast1910]

The PC reading The Spectator at 0:30 is an underappreciated joke.

[@bruva207]

The larger point I can take from all this is that Yahtzee isn't big on RPG games. Not to criticize his work but if he didn't give usage to most of the features of the game either he didn't want to do them from lack of time or he just didn't like the game period (either way from what his saying I'm led to believe that he played this on easy). Considering I've mostly agreed with most of his reviews, I have my own views regardless of what he says. There's a tendency of following what people like Yahtzee say without experiencing what some products have to offer out of pure fandom. Either way I completely with Yahtzee on this particular game. So I say try it for yourselves.

[@yourfacemeetsmyfist]

+João Ribeiro 10/10

[@jafoste91]

+João Ribeiro concordo plenamente

[@Nick-mp1zh]

+João Ribeiro I play a fair amount of RPG's, and 30 hours into the Witcher 3 my battle strategy is still "Use Quen LIGHTATTACKLIGHTATTACKLIGHTATTACKLIGHTATTACK DODGE LIGHTATTACKLIGHTATTACKLIGHTATTACKLIGHTATTACK Oh I got hit. *Quen* LIGHTATTACK" etc

[@jafoste91]

Nickolas Marchuk to be honest,it can be kind of repetitive, but the thing that drew me in was the story. even though some fights can be challenging

[@Nick-mp1zh]

Sebastião do Nevoeiro I like the world in general, I'm actually ok with the slightly repetitive monster hunts since there's a new enemy each time and you sort of get to play monster detective and figure out what type of enemy it is. Plus hunting monsters is just badass in general

[@lilianahudler4378]

I absolutely fucking love The Witcher 3 and it is undeniably one of my favorite games of all time. That being said, I also absolutely love this review, and almost everything that he says is completely valid. It is possible to love something and still accept that that thing is imperfect and has flaws.

[@alexanderthorne635]

Crowshaw's best review for a long time. He didn't entirely rip the game apart and ended up giving a recommendation (if you listen carefully), but didn't shy away from highlighting some of the games major problems. Excellent!

[@stevennash5144]

Anyone question why all conversation in the witcher series can't help but mention that geralt is a witcher? Like the 2 swords and cat eyes weren't a dead give away

[@joereno955]

Gwent is actually pretty great!

[@angrymonkey3003]

especially when you get siegemaster foltest

[@StormZephyr]

How about a few rounds? Gwent, specifically.

[@lostrumham6107]

did this man call out bill cosby before the mainstream media by 3 years!

[@Im_Mr_Cole]

Remember when Escapist wasn't fall apart in every way? What a time.

[@PreparedDeath]

These may be the most accurate "reviews" I've ever listened too...

[@maksuree]

I don't think Geralt is really that much of a self-insert. he's ripped and gets laid and so on, yeah - but he's also not idolized. he's shown to be a merciless killer, cruel even, his enjoyment of life is consistently hampered by his suppressed emotions, he's a reject of society that's mercilessly victimized and accosted for who he is, what friends and loved ones he does have are constantly in danger, he can never have a child - i'm really not sure i'd ever want to be in his shoes, and I certainly wouldn't want to behave like he does.

[@Blue-gp3vn]

*singing* I WOULD!

[@Blue-gp3vn]

Not entirely tho

[@simple-commentator-not-rea7345]

I think that's exactly what makes him a deeper character than we thought; yes he does admittedly have a few traits that fanfiction writers put to their OC's, but unlike those mistakes of nature, Geralt actually DOES have a personality that doesn't always fit into his lifestyle. On VERY rare occassions in which fanfiction characters actually do have some seblence of personality, they always ultimately either contradict their own previously established traits, or ultimately make peace with what few friends they have. And let me tell you, in fanfiction when the main character isn't a Gary Stue, either his/her lover, friends or families are instead.

[@CruxisFire]

As much as I love the game and felt like it improved a lot from the last two titles, I really felt Yahtzee was going to rip this game a new one. Yet he didn't. Feels good man.

[@nerdy_bumblebee]

Something about saying a game sits you down and says "OALRITE *FUCKFACE*" cracks me up

[@FroggyCrimes]

I found that pumping up the difficulty settings took care of that "feeling too powerful" vibe

[@metalahhhhhhhhhhhh]

"Any questions?" "Yeah just one, why do you keep trying to get me to play magic the gathering?" lol hahaha

[@raenminecraft]

Gwent is actually good...

[@Punishthefalse]

Reignment Best minigame ever. But still will chase away anybody who hates TCG, because it IS a TCG.

[@Bourikii2992]

Reignment Eh it's a little horribly unbalanced. A good monster deck is pretty OP.

[@Punishthefalse]

Con Cahill You still haven't mentioned the Nilfgaard many-spies shenanigans. That's worse than Monster decks.

[@Bourikii2992]

Punishthefalse Meh I have more spies in my temerian deck than I've seen in Nilfgaard.

[@Punishthefalse]

Con Cahill The opponent's Nilfgaard deck, however, is full of spies AND decoys. A crappy combination. The gwent players in Novigrad are also pretty difficult opponents.

[@donaghb7307]

I find it interesting how yahtzee and i suffered from the exact opposite problem. when I played the game I always found myself 4-5 levels lower than any of the quests I was finding.

[@Timmytimmy123123]

2:00 That made me laugh harder than it should have.

[@kd9233]

"And now your regularly scheduled reminder that the new consoles are shit... The new consoles are shit" lmfao