the WORST landlord 💸 r/AITA

[@SLYKM]

Landlord one is making my blood boil. So the tenants get to pay less rent, and someone gets to live the storage room, but the landlord gets more money overall. For what? Typically if you pay more for something it's because it's of higher value. Landlord is lining their pockets, not doing anything to increase the value, and acting like they are doing all the tenants a favor, and probably convinced the new tenant to take the offer by saying they would get a bigger room. Landlord gets all the AH points, tenants get minor AH points for playing along.

[@JhericFury]

"landlord is lining their pockets, not doing anything to increase the value" Isn't that all landlords? (In case tone isn't clear, I agree with you, I'm just being facetious because I don't think being a landlord provides any value to society)

[@SLYKM]

@@JhericFury yea, yea lol. In this story, they were making changes that negatively impacted the tenants life to make their pockets bigger but sold it to them as a benefit. Yea I know landlords are generally legal scammers, it is just extra scam on top of the existing scam, lol.

[@TiffanyAllen1784]

Agreed, but the other roommates suck, too. Essentially none of them wanted the downstairs room because it was loud, so OP was the one who agreed to put up with it, but now they want OP the one to compromise again? Nope.

[@bethsmith3421]

I have a question. Did the new person see the room and agree to move in and then decide they needed a bigger room? Because that would make the new possible roommate an AH. If the room was too small to meet their needs, then they should have looked elsewhere. Landlord is absolutely the AH. OP is NTA. And why didn't the roommates get to meet new person? Is the room really a storage room or just a very small bedroom that they use for storage?

[@sonyamiller4853]

The room thing might actually be illegal. I know for where I live a room has to have a window a door and a closet to be considered a bedroom. Otherwise it's storage, closet or like a den maybe? Office space? Eh, not a bedroom anyway. And most places have laws about occupancy of a building so yeah... illegal shady landlording happening here.

[@unouni2548]

I've always thought that Reddit's idea of a step-parent/step-child relationship is a bit weird, isolating for the child even; but in this case I do agree, it's her mom's money, to give to the grandchild she recognized and had contact with. If that had been left in the testament, no one would be complaining.

[@Zapporah85]

I'll never have biological children of my own so I don't understand why you would treat any of them differently. Whether I adopted the kid or you brought them in from another relationship, they're now our kid. Otherwise, you shouldn't be doing it. What my parents did when I got a settlement from an accident when I was 3 was set up an identical account for my brother. They put their own money in to make sure it was equal. Obviously, that's not always possible, but it was definitely the best solution.

[@squidmom3162]

@@Zapporah85 it sounds like the kids never WANTED things to be treated the same way. She didn’t purposely other them, she just didn’t push for more than what they were comfortable with. and on top of that, they didn’t really have a relationship with the person who previously had the money, so she’s giving it to the only kid who DID have that relationship.

[@lauren6015]

@@Zapporah85 personally, I wouldn't want or expect my step dad to treat me or my sibling the same as his bio daughters. We already have a dad. I was 11 when my mum and step dad started seeing each other and 14 by the time they got married so I was a little bit old to think of anyone other than my bio father as my dad. My sibling who is 5 years younger and has a closer relationship with our step dad (and a poor relationship with our bio dad) would feel exactly the same. It really depends on the family to be honest. All blended families are different and everyone has their own way of doing things.

[@undefinederror40404]

Since those kids didn't have a relationship with that grandma, I don't see why anyone would think that they should get inheritance from her. They didn't bother to visit her, to send her cards, to be nice to her, to bond with her, but now that she has passed away they want her money? Sheesh, I could never. They're pretty much complete strangers to that grandma, in my opinion they're upset because they don't get inheritance from a complete stranger. Family bonds mean nothing if you don't ever do anything for each other.

[@olivialesbian1578]

Stepfamily relationships are SO individual, it's impossible to give one answer for what they should be like. I have a lot of stepfamily, and some I barely feel like the "step" is necessary (like the step-grandparents I've had as long as I can remember) but with others, it's very different, like the stepsiblings I've never shared a home with. I wouldn't expect my dad's girlfriend to give me any sort of inheritance from her family, and it sounds like a similar situation there. Stepfamily is complicated idk

[@seamstressdragon8707]

It's actually very traditional for an Italian ragu sauce or bolognese style sauce to use a mixture of beef and pork mince because beef is a lean meat so the pork adds fat and sweetier taste to the sauce. HOWEVER if I was hosting a dinner party and had invited my dear friends who are Muslim and Sikh and I am not religious at all, then I would just cook something with chicken, fish or even vegetarian/vegan that we can all have rather than having my friends bring something over. I think that is pretty assholey on the host's part.

[@mojojojo3212]

imo as a host i'd feel uncomfortable knowing one of my friends couldn't eat my food or something. like knowing they have to make more of an effort as my guest yk

[@salamanda11]

@@mojojojo3212 Totally. I can’t imagine inviting someone over knowing they wouldn’t eat the meal I planned to make. I would change the meal to make it inclusive.

[@nonexistingvoid]

I've cooked for many guests, even though I know I'm not a master chef at all. The worst dietary restriction I've had to deal with was someone with a tomato allergy. I thought of cooking him a separate meal, but it would feel wrong to exclude him, so I just made tomato free meals for everyone when he came over for dinner. I'd never want someone to feel they need to bring their own food, because they can't trust that the food I make is safe for them.

[@SheenaWilde]

Absolutely agree. I have a friend group where we regularly gather for dinner, and either cook or order. There's one vegetarian among us and it has never been an issue to make/order something for them. We also tend to make more of the vegetarian dishes because although everyone else loves meat, vegetarian dishes are also tasty. There are food we love that happens to be vegetarian, too, and perfect to make for them.

[@kittysunlover]

Personally, we're a low-sodium household so we tend to avoid pork for nutritional reasons, and I can say from experience, that a beef-only meat lasagna can still be incredibly delicious. But yes, I completely agree, even aside from that, it's totally not difficult to come up with a different menu to accommodate your halal (or veggie, or kosher, or whatever other food restrictions) friends. Especially if it's just that one accommodation to be made. To be fair, if the dinner hosts in the story maybe had good reasons to serve that particular lasagna - I can't imagine what would qualify, just that maybe in their own minds they had good reasons - then the solution of what actually happened, which was the guest bringing food they could eat, is the next best thing. Though the response from the hostess afterwards towards the OP really just makes it sound like she's coming from a very self-centered place about the whole thing.

[@Unchained_Alice]

I am disabled and need a bungalow. If I was looking for a room, I wouldn't force the existing tenants to accommodate me. I'd feel super uneasy about that. I'd discuss my needs and if it wasn't possible with everyone being ok with it, I'd look elsewhere. This is completely different to if the person became disabled while living there and needed to switch but they refused to. Now that would be a huge AH move

[@naemiaw]

Same, and what especially makes me pause is the fact that from what OP says, the future tenant VISITED the house and room. So it may be something like the landlord offered the exchange when the potential tenant said it was too small, but in this case they're even more of an asshole.

[@KierstenMB]

@@naemiaw that sounds really plausible. I'm disabled too and I couldn't imagine being shown a room that didn't meet my needs and then accepting it. So I think the landlord is the AH.

[@felixhenson9926]

I do think the person is an arsehole bc accessible housing is SO hard to get but the landlord is the bigger asshole.

[@bethwoodward9437]

Sounds like the landlord wants more money, which he’ll get if he has five tenants versus four. He sold it to the existing tenant by promising a (probably small) reduction in their rent. Potential tenant comes in and needs accommodation. Rather than saying, “I don’t have a space that will suit your needs in this house,” greedy landlord pits the existing roommates against each other, Hunger Games-style, because he doesn’t want to lose out on the money. Landlord is the AH here, not the poster (or even their roommates) who are just desperately trying to survive as broke students with a predatory landlord.

[@eline6731]

I agree with everything except the last part, because even if one became disabled while renting a room, the other roommates still shouldn't be forced to switch out of a room that they signed up for and wouldn't be assholes for saying no to that. Unless I misunderstood what you said.

[@sharonsomers5342]

Step-parent relationships are hard but it boils down to "are you a parent?". She said "no" and that follows. If she was an active parent, then I would say yes. But she's not. She's more like an aunt because she has a relationship with the dad, not them - much as a sibling would. And I would not expect my aunt to leave property to me when her son is alive.

[@ghjgme]

The first one speaks to me, as generally my family was pretty bad about my disliking pork, but once my husband developed a sudden food sensitivity to pork products, they're very good about it. Oddly, his family constantly forgets, and are very critical of him for it.

[@ennanitsua]

NOTE: A ROOM WITHOUT A SECONDARY EXIT IS NOT A LEGAL BEDROOM. About rooms potentially being a bedroom or not, the room needs to have egress. This means there needs to be a window to get out of the room if your exit is obstructed by fire or another emergency.

[@Elwene2fr]

For the last story: clearly NTA. Like you said, the money was given to her and she's decided to give it to their son. + she clearly explained that the 2 stepkids and their family are not that close to her (not in a family way). I understand why the father would like to give money to HIS 3 kids (like you said, he's the father of them 3) but this is not about him and when/if he receives inheritance from a family member he'll do whatever he'll want with it. Point being: Her grandmother gave her the money telling her to do what she wanted with it. That's what she did. Now if the son wants to then split it and give some of the money to his siblings, that's also a possible choice. But he has the right to keep it all for himself too.

[@cexilady3333]

Agreed. Her husband just doesn’t understand her perspective, and I understand his lack of understanding. Doesn’t make her the AH.

[@undefinederror40404]

Yeah, I don't understand why her husband got mad about it at all though. He knew that his kids had no bond with the person who passed away, so why does he think they should get something? That grandma was essentially a stranger to them. Family means nothing if there isn't a bond, if you don't see and/or help each other then it's all hot air. I understand that fights about inheritance often get very tense, even break up families sometimes. But this didn't seem that difficult, this just sounds like greed.

[@cexilady3333]

@@undefinederror40404 not necessarily greed. As a person who constantly strives for fairness and equality myself I can see how what he’s doing could be the same, but from a biased POV for his kids. It’s not greed if it’s not for you IMO.

[@Maguire708Julie]

Does the husband expect his ex to leave the son something? No. It’s not reasonable to expect an inheritance from an unrelated person (grandmother to stepmother.) When my stepdad’s parents died I didn’t expect anything despite calling her “grandma” for 20 years!

[@osheridan]

I agree in this scenario, + nobody owes anyone anything, but like being blood-related doesn't have to dictate that.

[@bunji_beans]

Always enjoy these! I'm going to disagree on the first one just because I don't think OP and their housemates should be considered AH's for trying to get lower rent since they are young and trying to survive under capitalism. The roommates are AH's however for expecting the OP to switch rooms when they don't seem willing to. The landlord is, as you said, the biggest AH here.

[@cexilady3333]

She did say she might be a bit biased from her previous life experiences. But also the disabled person is an AH because who signs for a room that’s too small when you know the other rooms are occupied and will have to force them to switch? Landlords are very rarely not AHs

[@bunji_beans]

@@cexilady3333 I'm holding off on giving the disabled roommate any AH status because I don't know what the landlord told them. Like if the landlord told them it'd be no problem or whatever.

[@kat3rpillar]

@@cexilady3333 tbh I’d say the landlord said they could have one of the bigger rooms while showing them the house, i doubt they would agree to kick someone out of their room

[@cexilady3333]

@@kat3rpillar very good point!

[@marnenotmarnie259]

yeah exactly. i am disabled in a few ways and i've been living in a tiny room that was converted from one of those little rooms under the stairs (the wall was taken out but you can see where it used to be, and it was combined with what must have been either a tiny office or maybe a dining room?? idk its super weird) into a tiny "bedroom" that's shaped super weird and has very little insulation (from cold/heat and from sound). it… sucks. but i pay a LOT less rent than my roommates and i honestly don't know if i could have afforded to move out of my parents' house if it wasn't for that reduced rent. i'm moving in a few months (mostly for unrelated reasons) and i'm pretty nervous about being able to afford it. so idk, it sucks but that's just kinda where we're at right now with how housing is

[@Silentgrace11]

Speaking as a step child myself, from both sides of the rope, I wouldn’t expect either my step dad or my step mom to include me in an inheritance from their parents unless I was explicitly mentioned. In fact, it didn’t even cross my mind when my stepmother’s mom passed away this past spring, or when my step dad’s mother passed away a few years ago. I was thrown into their lives at the age of 16, and while I love and care for them as I do my own grandmother, I know that relationship will never have the same closeness as they do with my little siblings. And that’s okay. So perhaps the husband in this situation needs to take a step back and see the bigger picture with this one.

[@oceanmythjormundgandr3891]

It totally makes sense that the redditor wants to give all or most of her money to her bio son who she has a 100% parent-child relationship with rather than split it between children who doesn´t have that connection. If the dynamic is significantly different it makes sense that the grandma money gets divided differently. If it had been the stepmother who died then I would have been more for it being divided equally since there was more contact there than with grandma, but as the redditor said: They didn´t have that connection with grandma.

[@salamanda11]

Yeah. If the step children had a significant relationship with the grandma, I think I’d feel differently. As it is, OP’s decision made total sense to me.

[@JennieFuchsia]

The landlord should’ve said “whoever is in the storage room pays (very discounted amount) and I have a potential 5th roommate, but the 2nd floor and/or storage room is a dealbreaker. Do you all want to shuffle or should I tell this person that room isn’t available” those dealbreakers are enough info without knowing they’re disabled.

[@s.a.4358]

Re. the inheritance, if I were the father /husband I would not expect the stepchildren to get any inheritance. It is not those children’s grandma and the poster doesn’t have a children-parent relationship with the stepchildren. It sounds like the poster is not really being treated equally like family, but rather only as the father’s partner, but now that it comes to money all of a sudden they should get family inheritance? I don’t even know if the stepchildren are expecting to inherit, but it sure sounds like the father is somehow trying to get something extra for his other kids although the whole time he also accepted the situation of there being friendly distance between his children from a previous marriage and his current partner.

[@RedTheAbnormal]

For the last one, if the step-kids had contact with the Grandmother and saw her as their grandmother too, I would say AH. But she wasn't. So NTA.

[@heather9130]

The first one: I have a Jewish friend, and even though he doesn't only eat Kosher foods I always make sure something at our hosted parties is Kosher. I noticed that he did prefer those foods, so that's what we do. A friend of mine went vegetarian for 4 years. Guess what? Vegetarian options at my parties. I'm not special, this is common courtesy for hosting. The moment that friend received a text about the OP providing their own halal food, that was the moment for the friend to say absolutely do not worry I've got it.

[@FoxxyFire-HellFrost]

I'm a pescetarian and whenever we go to someone's house, We speak to the host(s) and agree to bring my own food or eat beforehand. If my special food was what everyone else picked over the host's, that isn't my fault. I don't ever expect others to accommodate my dietary choices and if they do, it's wonderful. However, that shouldn't make me the bad guy in this scenario because I only brought food BECAUSE you wouldn't accommodate me. If you wanted everyone to be happy, you could have had a pot luck, asked the guests what they would have preferred, or catered in. You can't blame someone because their food was better than yours. Do better, folks.

[@erikken1039]

Different countries, same customs. The landlord story reminds me so much of the student housing conditions in Italy, especially those in the bigger towns. I can only emphasize that the greed of the apartment owners is immense. Sadly.

[@herothebard]

I will say that I the second story is a little weird for me because I have lived in and had friends live in spaces that should not be rented (ie. Unfinished basements/storage rooms) But that being said they never paid to live in those spaces and it was only in situations when it was living I that space or being homeless and I would much rather my friends live in my crappy basement then on the streets and I would much rather live in my mom's partly unfinished basement (no flooring but the walls are done) with the mice then live on the street. Edit: I would like to clarify that in the cases of my friend living in spaces that were technically not rooms they did not pay to live in that space and it was only for a few months so they could find a proper rental.

[@trinitybernhardt9944]

The inheritance OP is NTA. If the stepkids had been close to the grandma, it would be one thing, but they did not choose a relationship with her. I have farying relationships with my half brother's family members on their mom's side. Even their mom, who i am closest to I would never expect anything. I especially didn't feel entitled to their grandparent's things. I doubt they did for mine either. Money just brings out the greed.

[@itssteph263]

With the inheritance I would have voted a little differently if the step-children didn't have an extensive family, and their biological mom wasn't in the picture both financially and physically. Like if OP and her husband were the only parents/parental figures all three children have, then I would see it as a little bit unfair. Regardless it's OP's inheritance and as long as she keeps this same mentality if the step-children's mom were to do the same she's NTA.

[@salamanda11]

I’m guessing that if the step children didn’t have other family on their mom’s side they also might have known the grandma a bit better, and therefore it also would have made more sense for them to get some of the inheritance. For me it’s the fact that the step children didn’t have a relationship with the grandmother like OP’s biological son did.

[@tkrause1116]

Re: the last one. Yes, she should do what she wants with it. Those are my thoughts. When my grandmother passed away, I gave my 2 kids and my step daughter each an equal bit of my inheritance. However this was because A) my choice and B) her and my grandmother were very close and my grandmother considered my step daughter to be her first great grand daughter and never treated her differently from the ones that followed. A totally different situation from the OP's.

[@Susirajantakaa]

About the renting situation. It wasn't said that the room is actually a storage room, but it was USED as one. It can totally be a small bedroom etc. But apparently all the other rooms were bigger, so they rather used them instead. So if that was the case, it can surely be rented out as well. As long as the land lord is honest about the room, and not even suggesting the possible tenant that they could get something else. If the person looking for a room is willing to settle for a smaller room, then there shouldn't be a problem. But if the room is actual storage room, then it is just greedy business to try to rent it out to some desperate young.

[@barbaram5769]

I feel like the disabled tenant is also being an AH. Yeah, the landlord is obviously the worst in the scenario but they went to see the room and then decided to sign for it, knowing it doesn't meet their accommodations? they also did this (I assume but I know assumptions aren't the way to do this) knowing that the other rooms were occupied. Its reasonable to assume that they were only shown the 'room' being offered so it's really weird, to me, that they've asked for a bigger room when they likely know that other people already live there. It's understandable if there's a room shortage and the landlord is exploiting that by offering a non-room but I'm so confused why the extra tenant would agree to live somewhere that they know would not suit them, resulting in other people having to move around to accommodate them? I feel like more information is needed.

[@Psylaine64]

I didnt understand why they would sign for a room that is unsuitable either.... very strange!

[@unapologeticallylizzy]

Oh yeah, absolutely. I would not be signing for a place that isn't going to work for me.

[@s.a.4358]

Unless the landlord showed the bigger room implying that the person would be willing to move (or even that they were moving out) and that room would be available? Otherwise yeah, it’s very off to sign a lease for a room that is not suitable to one’s disability.

[@fluuufffffy1514]

Landlords be shady, tho. I've definitely been shown a room "similar to" the one they wanted to rent to me and found out that the actual room was different in some important way (in my case, it had carpeting, where the shown room didn't).

[@viewbuster1979]

I also suspect landlord shenanigans. It sounds like they told the landlord that the room wouldn't work for them, and the landlord told them it was not problem, that one of the others would trade rooms with them.

[@elliest55]

In the inheritance story, I think an important parameter is the relationship between the husband and wife and how they treat their individual/family money. Many couples have joint assets, joint bank accounts, without a "mine - yours" distinction. If this has been the case with this couple so far it might explain why the husband expects that this, being "our" (family) money, can be split equally among his 3 kids. He basically hadn't considered his wife's financial autonomy, either because of assumptions based on how they've done things so far or because he is not considerate enough of her apparent need to have some money which is hers alone. It is probably the first time they've inherited anything, so it's a new conversation for this family that needs sorting out. Now if I was her, I might have set aside like 10% of the total earnings after the house is sold and gift that to the other two kids, split evenly.I would hope it's clear to them that it's not money they were entitled to, but seeing as we're family and I care about them I'd like them to have this as a gift (a thoughtful gesture)

[@FB711_]

For the second case, absolutely everyone is the ah. The person who is supposedly moving in went to see the room that was available (the storage room) and decided to rent it. Why request for a different room after already having decided to live there?

[@Ziggi_onthe_RISE]

That housing crisis one annoyed me because especially in major cities, we keep hearing about the “housing crisis,” but the problem has never been a lack of housing. It is a lack of affordable housing when wealthy [Bad] landlords raise their rent to price out marginalized community members and “gentrify” the area by catering to wealthy [usually white or at least highly privileged] tenants. There is adequate housing, but the only things left available are instead ones like this that do not have the proper space, or are in other ways run down or substandard for living in.

[@Ziggi_onthe_RISE]

#thelandlordistheasshole

[@DanikaThing1]

The first one made me think of this. So in my friend group, on of my friend can’t eat gluten, and on holidays, my mom likes to make treats for me, my sister, and ours friends. And my mom always make a smaller batch gluten-free for her. Tomorrow on Valentine’s Day, me and my sister are going to bring goodie bags for them, and there’s one that’s gluten-free

[@lordylensington]

Referring to the last one, I have a very similar relationship w/ my mum's partner and I would never ever expect any inheritance from his family. I'm honored when I get offered his dad's old shirts! Of course every family is different, but it's weird to me that the husband thinks she's the AH

[@mikna5758]

For the stepmum inheritance: her stepkids already have two parents to look after their financial needs, they are not entitled to a third one. OP's biological son will split dad's money with his half siblings and get nothing from their mum. I don't see why his mum shouldn't look after just him. The dad is projecting his responsibilities onto his new partner. He needs to change his perspective.

[@s.9899]

I absolutely agree. Having stepkids myself, I know how tricky this topic can be. I have a good relationship with them (they live with us most of the time), but one does have to watch out to not get involved too much as the mum ist there as well and takes care and has responsibilities. I had to learn the hard way that doing a lot for other persons children makes some people think they are entitled to your help and time. This is why I will never want to be more than a very good friend to them - they already have parents who take care. I don't have any rights, only duties. Should my partner ever decide to break up (or me), I have no right whatsoever of seeing these children again (unless they're grown and decide this for themselves). So it is wise to protect yourself and your assets at least a little. In the end, no one will thank you for the sacrifices you made. My stepkids won't get anything from my parents either if they don't want it this way. I might, however, leave them some of my money one day, as I do understand them as part of my family (I have no kids of my own).

[@yarwl]

I would love a weekly 1h podcast version of this in Spotify haha

[@Sarah.H5]

There are loads of AITA pods on Spotify :)

[@pcatma]

@@Sarah.H5 But they're not Shaaba!

[@RiverWoods111]

No, the step kids don't treat her like a mom. They are not blended; she is just a trusted adult friend to them. If I had an inheritance and I was remarried, that money would only be set back for my kids and not the step kids! Not only that, but before that the money would be put back into a trust only for me that would eventually pass on to my kids. My new husband wouldn't get a dime of it. That would be my money and only my money. Financial advisors will actually sit down with couples and set it up, so the spouse is kept separate. I am divorced and my ex would is a total con artist and would have tried to steal that money from me in a heartbeat. So, what happens if dad and mom get divorced? Dad needs to have no access to that money and mom needs to make sure it is put back in only her name with a solid will to go to the son or she can help him buy a house with it. She shouldn't even distribute it yet. That husband will try to swindle her out of it in a heartbeat in a divorce court, just look at him trying to get it for his kids from another wife!

[@torib796]

I've said it once and I'll say it again: I love your perspective and reasoning, Shaaba ❤️

[@Coco-cf5qw]

Hi Shabaa ! Could you do an episode on friendship break up ? Love your work, have a lovely, shiny, tender day love~

[@bloodgutsandangelcake6079]

The disabled room story actually just makes me wonder... why would they even put a disabled tenant in a two-level place? Personally I would feel pretty uneasy about not being able to access half my living area but that's just me. Then that made me think about bathrooms. Is there a downstairs bathroom? And how wheelchair-accessible is that downstairs bathroom also? Honestly, I think switching rooms should be the LEAST of everyone's concerns for the minute.

[@20Unbelievable06]

as a person who would need the bigger bedroom on the ground floor due to physical disability, absolutely do NOT give up your room for the new potential tenant! it sucks to have more limited options, but that is NOT on you! absolutely NTA!

[@SartorialDragon]

12:30 the idea of fairness that i adhere to is fairness of outcome, not fairness of income. Fairness in this case is when all three children end up with a college fund. If the other two kids are likely to inherit enough from their mom's side, but your son won't, then the money is best saved for him. If they won't get a reasonable inheritance, then sharing it might be fairer. Neither of the kids deserves less than another. But that doesn't mean dividing it equally by three is the fair solution!

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

As the trusted adult but not parent of my partners child, I completely agree with the last NTA. I would never expect (and know for a fact ) that my child would not be included in his half brothers family/inheritance and I would not be including his brother in mine. Obviously we as the adults take care of their daily growing needs together financially and they will never be hurting for support. But neither of them has a relationship with their half siblings family and it would be weird to expect it. When my partner's parents go I'm sure that will be split evenly between all the grandkids but again that's their blood family.. I was pleasantly surprised that the overwhelming majority agreed that this is not the asshole move.

[@andrearenteria456]

People that need to reduce their cost of living in order to make ends meet are absolutely NTA. All the blame here goes to the landlord

[@undefinederror40404]

Since those kids didn't have a relationship with that grandma, I don't see why anyone would think that they should get inheritance from her. They didn't bother to visit her, to send her cards, to be nice to her, to bond with her, but now that she has passed away they want her money? Sheesh, I could never. They're pretty much complete strangers to that grandma, in my opinion they're upset because they don't get inheritance from a complete stranger. Family bonds mean nothing if you don't ever do anything for each other.

[@anonymoususer5853]

Leaving the comment to boost an underrated creator

[@grutarg2938]

For the roommate, simply say "No. My room is not available for rent, only the storage room is available." For the inheritance, it doesn't need to be an all or nothing solution. What if they use a nice chunk of the money to go on a family vacation with all the kids included, and then the rest goes into trust for the son? What if she leaves the majority of it to the son, but a proportion to the step kids? Anyway, I appreciate that stepmom and dad are talking it out between them and coming up with a solution.

[@hyunjinsanity]

These are literally my comfort videos

[@aimeemartino8859]

Your eyeliner is fantastic today!

[@jamestown8398]

On the inheritance story, my view is that fair isn't necessarily equal. This might just be because, on Reddit, I've seen a ton of stories where a parent tries to force their kids to have equal conditions and just end up needlessly screwing over one kid just so the other doesn't feel jealous. "I won't let you go to Oxford because your stepbrother couldn't get into college", "I told your Mom not to buy you expensive gifts anymore because I can't buy them for your stepbrother", "I'm making you share your late mother's jewelry with your stepsister", etc. No, sometimes fair means one kid gets more, and that's okay. If I had two kids, and only one had diabetes, only that kid would get insulin. I wouldn't say "Either you both get insulin or neither of you do!" because that would make me a bad parent.

[@NortherlyK]

Family and money is always complicated.

[@jaymeamonsen7728]

No one is entitled to an inheritance. Whoever gets it can make choices about how to use it. If family is family, they should be happy for each other.

[@echoktty]

for the inheritance one... bio son gets any inheritance from mom's family. Step kids get any inheritance from their mom's family. And all 3 kids split any inheritance from dad's family. Seems fair to me

[@silverghostcat1924]

On the last one; if the step kids had a close relationship with granny then they should get equal shares of the money. However, it looks like they didn't care to make any effort to spend quality time with granny so they shouldn't get any money. Especially if they aren't related by blood. This hinges on the relationship with granny, not the relationship with the parents.

[@DragonFae16]

The son in the third story won't be getting any inheritance from the maternal family of the step-kids, so why should they get a slice of the inheritance from the OP's grandmother? If my paternal cousins' maternal grandmother died, I wouldn't expect something because that isn't the grandparent I am related to, even if I had a really great relationship with that person. I didn't even receive anything from any of my grandparents when they died.

[@kellyl13]

As someone with a disability, I agree with ESH verdict, and actually, the verdict on Reddit being NTA kinda saddens me because it shows how little people think about the needs of disabled people. Yes, the biggest asshole is the landlord for putting everyone in this position because nobody deserves to live in a closet. However, depending on the disability, space is often an absolute necessity (for example, my wheelchair's fairly big, and I have an oxygen machine and other medical equipment I use at night), while it's a privilege for most nondisabled people, and you have no freaking idea how difficult it is to find accessible housing. I had a somewhat similar experience with my current condo; my unit is pretty accessible, but the parking garage is tiny and ill-designed, so the space I was assigned didn't work for me (it wasn't the 1 handicap space for some reason, and my van has a ramp that comes out of the side for my wheelchair). The nondisabled person who had the handicap spot refused to switch and even stated "I bet she's not really disabled". Thankfully, someone with a larger space was willing to switch. Now, I don't think the OP is as bad as the person in my story because they're not dismissing the disability, and switching rooms is a bigger sacrifice than switching parking spaces. I agree with you that 1. they shouldn't have agreed to rent out the room in the first place if none of them would be willing to live there themselves and 2. they should ask more about the disabled person's needs and not just assume that stairs are an issue.

[@Aimz360]

My ass of an uncle went on a 2 year vendetta over inheritence. No one got on with him. My granddads sister passed away and he inherited a good sum and initially said he would give his 3 kids XXX, then when he got the money and found he was a couple of grand short he decided to give his kids XX (they were understanding and happy), well my uncle wasn't happy. He never said anything to his dad but we got the brunt end of it till the point after my granddad died a yr later he demanded the extra money on top of the share of the sale of the house (which all 3 kids were in charge of but all 3 had to sign the final form but he held back for 6 months until his sibs agreed to the extra money). My other uncle gave him the extra money out of his share just to get him off his back.

[@BaeKun]

I haven’t seen your videos in awhile but lately I’ve been in a very dark depressive state and I’ve been watching so many of your videos and I must say you’re incredibly comforting and you’ve been helping me a lot I wish you were my mum haha tysm

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

1:54 Idk, here good meatballs have pork and even veal, so I imagine lasagna is similar

[@CMDRunematti]

OI. Yes it's a bigger room but it is MUCH MORE noisy. The others wanted to go upstairs. They've been there for a year already and everybody was fine with the arrangement. Size is not the only metric, they shouldn't move an inch for a stranger, don't care if disabled. They go from seeking a rental to seeking a rental. It's like telling the neighbor of a rental that I don't like it so they should let me in their house and they move into the rental, for the same price. You rent that room, bigger, noisier but you're renting it with a contract. You shouldn't give an inch

[@mackthompson616]

8:21 i am disabled and the whole situation with this sounds like a horrible rooming situation i wouldn’t want to be getting into, with or without my disability

[@SasskiF]

12:00 as a step-kid (no longer the kid part) myself. I do not expect anything from my stepmoms family as inheritance.

[@hannahk1306]

For the rental one, I think we need more information. First of all, how big is the "storage room" is it an actual cupboard or just a small but perfectly functional room that happened to be used for storage? Secondly, presumably the new tenant viewed the storage room to be able to say it was unsuitable, so they CAN get up the stairs and if they couldn't wouldn't they be solely viewing ground floor rooms. Thirdly, the bathroom is typically upstairs in these types of properties, so it sounds like only the dimensions of the room were an issue. Even so, why would they sign a contract for an unsuitable room? I think we need more details about their side of the story. Also, unless the rooms are practically identical, it's odd that all the tenants are paying the same price and their specific rooms are usually written into these types of contracts (as opposed to renting the whole house between them). Finally, the existing tenants and new tenant should be allowed to meet before anyone agrees anything (they'll have to live together after all). Overall, the landlord is definitely at fault and possibly not doing things by the book. They've clearly made a difficult situation for all the tenants, but I think we don't have enough information to fully decide about everyone else in this story.

[@babycarrots5622]

While I don't think it's particularly nice of the landlord to rent out a storage room as a bedroom, I think the responsibility here lies on politicians/law makers. If the rooms are being rented individually (they each have a contract and pay their own rent) then there should be laws surrounding the minimum size/conditions of a bedroom. I especially don't think the tenants are assholes for wanting reduced rent, and giving an additional person a place to live. Affordable living is extremely scarce where I live, and the stress of not having a place to live is unbearable. The rent should definitely be proportionate to the room sizes tho. Would be very assholey to ask someone to pay the same for a tiny scrub bedroom.

[@winchesterfamilyforever]

2: Not op fault, he only accepts a new tenant because of the other roomates. Op said they were fine with continue paying like that

[@lucialma]

When my mom passes someday, my stepbrothers will not inherit anything because all of the money my mom and stepdad have came from my dad and my grandparents (none of whom had a relationship with my stepbrothers). My stepdad fully supports this arrangement.

[@Charlotte-hv6ll]

Leaving a comment for the algorithm

[@Scatscar1985]

Rotis are WONDERFUL! Especially all-beef roti, love it on the rare occasions I get it!

[@Zapporah85]

I'm confused about the new tenant, they came in and saw the tiny room and they decided rather than look for another place, they're gonna ask someone else to give up their room? I mean it's fine to ask I suppose but only if they intend to pay more as well. Landlord is still the biggest asshole tho.

[@laticha402]

I'm almost sure the landlord was the one who offered to move the tenants to give this new one the big room and charge more.

[@Scorpioz77]

With the new roommate, it seems like the landlord rented the room out, giving the assumption to the new renter that they would get an acceptable room and not the small one. So that is def on the landlord, who advertised something, that does not exist.

[@cheriestolze]

Shaba. I appreciate you.

[@CraftyKarin]

The inheritance thing is a tricky one. I love what you said about not complaining, the person giving the inheritance is the one who decides. I've seen a situation from the other side, where the parents of an adult person who lost his SO want to leave him an equal(?) share but only if he leaves that money to his siblings, not his stepchildren (the SO's biological children). He told his parents that they can not decide on who he leaves the money to after they are gone and he does plan to leave everything to his stepchildren, because he considers them his children. If you reverse his parents logic of keeping things in the family, the stepchildren could claim their mothers inheritance and force him out of the house they owned together, which they would never do.

[@Meg-Meg-Meg]

“Just remember to be kind. We don’t want to be fishing for you too!” 🤣

[@EveryDayALittleDeath]

2:54 I think OP is a little bit the asshole. I also have dietary restrictions (mostly non-medical with a handful of moderate allergies) and when someone is making something I can't eat, I bring food for me, and just me. If someone is going to the trouble of cooking, it's rude to bring food for everyone else unless specifically asked, or at least I have always been told as much. It could possibly be a cultural thing though. I do think the friend is more the asshole for cooking pork when people she presumably knew were Muslim were coming.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

5:32 I mean….how is this on OP? This is all on the landlord

[@jmeik7016]

great insight, I always appreciate your perspective!!

[@leobeboop4944]

The idea of an inheritance is so weird to me especially when people just expect one (not in relation to the story but just in general)

[@mrsgendered]

As some with a disability I wouldn’t be looking at tiny rooms for rent, there’s no way I’m kicking someone out of the room they’re already contracted for into a much smaller crappier room??? 1100% NOT the asshole

[@gwenstacey8285]

The way you speak is just so gentle and healing I love your content Shaaba

[@SLYKM]

The last one, I think I agree with the husband partially, but ultimately she can do what she wants with the inheritance. I think a good compromise would be to give son most money bc he had most relationship with grandma, NOT because he's the full bio kid. But give partial of the money to the other kids because OP married a father of other children, and so she is partially responsible for their well being even if Grandma wasnt close to them, even if it's not a mother-kid relationship.

[@SLYKM]

And if that's how husband thinks, he should spilt any inheritance he gets for his bio kids with his wife's son too

[@Nortarachanges]

@@SLYKM they can choose what kind of family they want to be, but I agree. If they want to be a blended family, blend ^_^

[@kittysunlover]

Shaaba! Your nails are absolutely darling and not only is that shade of brown one of my absolute favorite colors but I think it looks absolutely smashing on you and coordinates with your pink hair just perfectly!

[@nonabgo]

Step kids are not kids. Under the law, they would not inherit unless they have been adopted by the step parent. So they have absolutely zero rights to inherit in this situation and should not be demanding a share of that inheritance which is not theirs to begin with. That sounds like entitlement.

[@nixhixx]

Big assumption that it's not a viable room. It might be, or might not. It might be just a tiny bedroom.

[@Nortarachanges]

If it was registered as storage, and the landlord is now charging more rent overall for the property without improving anything, the odds don’t sound great on it being viable

[@blackmoonroze9336]

I mean, people went to see the room, if they like it they accept if it's too small for them they do not. Why should you change your room?! NTA in my opinion, they're seeing the room, if it's too small they should keep looking to find another accommodation! ...It's difficult to find accommodation and they're afraid this person will walk away?! doesn't that mean there are a lot of other people looking if it's hard to find a space?! roommates are YTA!!!

[@ellahayes2924]

for the first one: i have many severe food allergies and i hate making people cater for me, especially since my anxiety is so bad that i probably wouldn't eat it anyways. bringing your own food is most often the better answer if you have food restrictions, the friend seems insecure about her cooking in my opinion. NTA

[@aliceinwonderland8314]

I think inheritance is complicated, but I'm of the general view all kids should be included, even if it's very split unevenly.

[@yotimusic]

An offering for the almighty enigmatic algorithm

[@foxboyuwu]

I definitely don’t think the step mom is an asshole, but I could see from the step kids perspectives’ this could feel like their step mom cares less about them? Even if they weren’t that close with that particular family member, they could’ve felt more connection to their step mom if she had shared it equally.

[@Nortarachanges]

Yeah if it was the house, absolutely agree. The son has memories in that house with that grandparent. But this is just money, and the grandparent doesn’t have a preference. I don’t think she’s an asshole, but I think this is an easy kindness to people you care for half the week

[@sarah345]

Blended families are nonsense. I was a child in a “blended” family and it was terrible. If you have kids (unless one partner is abusive or something) get couples therapy, not a divorce.

[@vhshorrormovies1978]

I strongly disagree. If you’re in an unhappy marriage, and cannot see a way of being happy with this person again, you get a divorce. If you want to try therapy first, that’s ur prerogative. If you’re not happy, you’re not going to be the best person or parent you can be.

[@sarah345]

@@vhshorrormovies1978 yeah, wanna know who’s not gonna be “the best parent they can be”? Your new girlfriend or boyfriend. Not everything is about your personal individual day to day happiness. That’s how your kids get emotionally abused or worse. “If you want to try couples therapy that’s your prerogative” no I think it’s the absolute least you can do for your children before you destroy their stability and introduce all kinds of extra adults who will resent them. And maybe you can control your new partner or are thinking “I’d never let someone abuse my kids”, but you cannot control your ex’s new partner or all the new “siblings” you bring into the mix. You got married, you had kids, no one forced you, be an adult and think of someone other than yourself.

[@edenpenwright1458]

love these videos! highlight of my week :)

[@joanfregapane8683]

Great video as always.

[@aliceinwonderland8314]

I think inheritance is complicated, but I'm of the general view all kids should be included, even if it's very split unevenly. And I think family members have the right to call out inheritance that they think is unfair, my mum had to do it to her parents when they asked her about them changing the will to give one of my second cousins nothing despite their sibling getting stuff, and give most of what they had previously set aside for me and my sibling to my cousin who they'd already helped buy a house for among other things.

[@bastloki]

...that first one got me craving curry for breakfast though

[@BrittanyArtPoetry]

For the last one I actually do feel a bit divided. I don’t think it’s fair to say ‘oh you will inherit from the other family’ because I vehemently disagree with the idea of taking an inheritance for granted and planning based around that since it’s basically wishing death upon your loved ones. The conflict for me is that yes it’s your inheritance and you have every right to decide how it is spent, I also firmly believe this. However, if it wasn’t based on an inheritance, and just based on money, and the step mom was purposefully only creating a college fund for their bio kid I would call the step mom an A-hole. That’s blatant favouritism and I understand why they would be upset. Since the Grandma literally said she didn’t care how she spent the money this situation is leaning towards creating a trust fund for only the favoured kid. I think this might be a situation where you absolutely have the right to do what you want with the money but you are still an A-hole for choosing this.

[@PersonTP]

I have a little disagreement about the room story. I understand what you’re saying about it, however it is also a responsibility of the tenant to figure if it’s a good room or not, put aside the fact they’re disabled, what if an able bodied person really needed a cheap place to stay and there’s quite literally no other place to go than this cheap room? People shouldn’t have opportunities to rent a shitty room for cheap? I understand what you say about the bad living conditions but it’s not like this person is forced to stay inside that room 24/7 and it’s a great opportunity to save money if you’re in a situation like that.

[@sallynewey9675]

Room issue, they should take this to the student union at their university. Does this little room have a lock, fire doors etc?

[@dovestone_]

My student rooms in manchester were all equally split regardless of room size

[@christinakyleloves]

Love you Shaaba!!🍑🍑🩷🩷Looking gorgeous as always!!😍😍🥹🥹

[@avilynsandmann5512]

lolol literally eating Curry and Roti rn, its true! So yummy!

[@kiwi319]

For the landlord one... yes I think the landlord is a major A-hole for renting out a room that is a cupboard. However... if the new tenant has actually taken a look at the room, signed for THAT room while AWARE of its size, location, etc. , I honestly think it's also majorly asshole-y of THEM to then ask the older tenants to switch rooms. Even if they're disabled. If you don't want the room you signed for, you should not have signed for it in the first place.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

12:14 except they don’t have a relationship with this grandparent, so equality can’t work here. Also, they never established that OP was a parent and that doesn’t sound like that had anything to do with OP. Kinda seems like an easy NTA to me.

[@JhericFury]

This is going beyond the scope of this AITA and I'm possibly wrongly assuming Britain's issues translate to wherever this is, but it's insane that in a world with l housing and buildings left intentionally empty so rich people can hide money, that students tenants are having to feel guilty over not wanting to live in a storage room so a disabled person can have acceptable living conditions. Yes, the landlord is the asshole, but this situation shouldn't be happening, you shouldn't have to be fighting over scraps

[@Arosukir6]

It sounds like despite the good mix of meats, the first story's host's lasagna just didn't taste very good. My family makes a bangin' lasagna with just turkey meat. We use a lot of awesome spices and sauce so it always tastes really good. Our recipe could've solved both of the hosts problems: cooking something halal and making food people would actually enjoy eating. 🤣

[@qwitchyy]

It’s wild that the people on the inheritance thread seem to think that’s a universal experience? Neither side of my family was wealthy. Neither my parents nor my sibling and I have ever received any inheritance. When you don’t come from generational wealth, it’s just not a thing. That also led me to think about the stepsons’ mom’s side of the family and if they’d ever be able to help their sons in any way close to how much OP helped her son. It’s not that I necessarily think OP should be obligated to contribute to her stepsons’ futures, but it all just sounded a bit…out of touch? Naïve?