The Trouble With Influencers Oversharing

Today, we're discussing the online controversy surrounding the family vlogger couple Matt and Abby. Recently, Matt has released music where he depicts his life as depressing and "not enough," while simultaneously posting happy videos with his family.
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[@meleebrawler6462]

We need to make it okay not to share everything online again.

[@LizardBrick]

We really do!

[@jaughnekow]

bring back shaming

[@K_Riss1]

Agreed. But this is how they make their living. People who aren't known and sharing everything online need a irl friend to tell then to stop.

[@SwizzleSwiftie13]

@@jaughnekowright🙄

[@marianemashkalo4182]

it is already ok. Not just ok, it's normal. Sharing everything online is insane. Who's forcing you exactly.

[@Marie-Fey40]

I think the main problem is they film everything. Some things are too intimate to be online

[@taraellis8279]

Right! Thats why I don’t really post my husband on social media. (Mainly because he doesnt really like social media) i comment about him on some shorts i relate to in regards to him. Like snoring and i show him the reel we laugh. Like pictures of our dates, our time with each other. I just can’t see the point. He is MY husband no one elses so why should i post him ya know. Especially if he doesnt like social media. And i dislike when people air out their dirty laundry on social media. Its like a cry for attention. Instead of being grown adults they air it out. I just dont see the appeal. Sorry for the tangent but you brought up a really good point. :)

[@taram9409]

I agree. They are sharing way too much. No man should be talking to others, especially publicly, about his wife's nether regions. That's so tacky.

[@skyttyl]

100% agreed. Many of these conversations should be private, and now with the reactions, we can see why. Too many people online playing like "mother in laws," trying to direct the marriage.

[@Marie-Fey40]

@@skyttyl yes exactly. I remember I saw the video of them finding out the wife was pregnant again. She had taken the pregnancy test and she didn't know the results. I remember thinking about how they set up their camera to film it, even though they weren't sure of the results, then editing it and putting it online. It really surprised me

[@lisastahl6603]

Amen!!!

[@milleniumfalcon754]

This is 100% depression. One thing that is not talked enough about is how depression negatively affects your judgement/decision making skills. I know from experience during an episode I shared far more with friends/aquaintences than I normally would/do. People sometimes overshare when they are depressed, because their mind is literally out of loop and not operating at baseline. They are grasping at straws. Anything. Everything, trying to stay afloat. Oversharing is sometimes a desperate (unconscious) cry for help that they don't know how to otherwise express.

[@miyeipark4032]

Yes. So true. Unf know this from personal experience.

[@AviFUNDITA]

So true 😢

[@ChristIsLord7]

Literally “out of loop” and not operating at “baseline”.??? Where are you getting these non sense claims that have no medical relevance whatsoever? Those are made up terms not backed by science. I can’t read so much into people over sharing there can be millions of reasons why someone shares a lot.

[@Thebeardedboar]

100% correct

[@ControversyCupcake]

And I thought I was self aware

[@Claraimal]

Depression does feel like nothing is enough, even when you know everything is perfect.

[@declanrhodes538]

I actually went to college with these two a few years ago! We were in the same Theatre Program and they are both very nice and compassionate people. Let me say this: for as long as I’ve known Matt he always gives off extreme golden retriever/himbo energy at times! I assure you, he means no malice and he loves and cares for his wife so so much.

[@mysteryheart53]

Nice to see something from someone who met them irl!!

[@literally_nobody11]

i honestly think he seems to be a great guy and i don’t find anything really wrong with them. they might over share a bit, but i dont think there really is anything wrong. matt seems great honestly

[@Stepharchives]

we dont care

[@NotTodaySatan1]

Yeah, he may look like that when he wants to, but he is pretty clear in what he's saying to her, tearing her down, disrespecting her, it's disgusting

[@jenbingham0914]

​@@NotTodaySatan1have you ever really watched them? Its clear by your ignorant comment that you haven't been watching them. He is always hyping her up!

[@theRCflyier]

We always complain that Vloggers only post the positive and over exaggerated highs of their life, we comment that it is fake. Then we criticise those who show the difficulties, hardships, the real struggles, and then ask them to keep that part of their lives private. 🤨

[@maddielopez8625]

It’s all for a paycheck. Just keep it all private.

[@esthermills4275]

This 🙌

[@authorjoannawhite]

Yes!

[@emilysagert9199]

Yes but I don’t think anyone is questioning that he’s showing hard parts of his life, it’s the way that he’s doing it. Specific lyric choices, pranking Abby in ways that upset her, going into personal information on their podcast etc…

[@FayeIL]

It’s almost - hear me out- like family vlogging is terrible in general, and that your family life shouldn’t be a TV show for entertainment.

[@bethanyfegley-caceres3605]

Pretty transparent. He says what a lot of people feel. Marriage, kids, house, job….nothing in this life satisfies. There is something deeper that the human soul needs more than air.

[@JoceyD7876]

He needs Jesus

[@JoceyD7876]

Nothing can fulfill your heart except the one who made it

[@traceydumase]

That part!🙌🏾​@@JoceyD7876

[@taram9409]

Yep, he needs Jesus Christ! I'm sincerely hoping and praying this family turns to Him! This is why money, material things, fame, etc. will NEVER make you truly happy. Only a relationship with our Lord will.

[@talithanicholas1803]

@@taram9409 I actually think they are a low key Christian couple! They waited till marriage, hold many biblical values, but are rocking that book of Esther lifestyle. But even when we know Jesus we still have times of darkness and disconnect. I love how abbey is so for him even through his struggles😌

[@michellehernandez8442]

I have dealed with mental health issues my whole life and what he says is true. Sometimes you can logically see that you have so much and are still sad and don't understand why...

[@bunnycamo8607]

Even when you get married, and this is coming from a married woman, you’re still yourself. The song about feeling empty might not have anything to do with his wife or kids, it has to do with an internal struggle that he’s dealing with, and was trying to express himself.

[@allisonarends1116]

100% agree. My husband feels this way. I know it's not because our children or i aren't enough for him.

[@LeeHawkinsPhoto]

Or he has gut issues…which is easy since the US food system wrecks your gut…and that causes depression. Depression makes you feel sad, but you can’t think of a reason why you feel sad…and if you do, you obsess over that thing because you think it’s causing it…but it’s really not in a lot of cases. You’re just not getting the nutrition you’re supposed to get and your brain is filling in the blanks, but you’re only physically sick.

[@nowistime8070]

I agree with that

[@allisonarends1116]

I agree with the gut issues as well. Nothing is confirmed but something we are working on with more from scratch cooking and cutting out more and more of his go to pre made freezer meals

[@jesclifford88]

@@LeeHawkinsPhotogreat info! The gut is linked to the brain but most people don’t relate the two 😢

[@rebecavc2071]

As long as I'm concerned, the only thing they're doing wrong is oversharing and putting their family online without really considering or being prepared for the consequences of allowing their family to be vulnerable to the internet and all the hateful people online. Edit to add: Yes, they are both immature. So much of what they post and do is extremely unwise. My parents have one of the healthiest marriages I know, and that is because (not inspite of) all the lessons they learned from their errors over the years. Errors which they used to grow together. Difference? IT'S NOT ALL POSTED ONLINE FOR MILLIONS TO VIEW FOR ALL ETERNITY.

[@susanpumphrey354]

THIS. So much this.

[@ButterflyElsy]

They don’t share their kiddos. (: so, they’re on a good path there!

[@KevinKnox-g6f]

Totally agree

[@rebecavc2071]

@@ButterflyElsy agreed. it's good they stopped showing the kid's faces. I can only hope that as the kids grow and develop, they don't share stories and overshare about their kids. Even not physically showing the kid, exposing them can also take the shape of oversharing through stories. But they're not there yet, so that's a concern for the future.

[@JamieJohnson-on2jz]

And they probably didn't host a podcast that gives other young newlyweds advice on marriage while they were making and learning from mistakes

[@jenro643]

I took the song as a way of him being able to share with his wife that he is feeling depressed, while also expressing that his depression has nothing to do with their relationship or the kids. He even says has EVERYTHING he has ever wanted and knows that should be enough, but the brain chemistry isn't matching. Very similar thing in mothers with postpartum. They have a beautiful new baby, yet they still feel off. It's distressing and guilt inducing when you don't feel you have an excuse to be depressed, but you don't necessarily need one. Not all depression is situational, some is just purely chemical.

[@Sjfyy_]

exactly, which is why it's funny they keep saying he should take care of her because of her PPD, but they don't provide the same energy back to him.

[@GreaseThunderBird]

Thanks for saying exactly what I was thinking! That's kinda what happens when you're depressed.

[@my_slifestyle_2667]

Thats what I got from hearing it too I hate that people are so harsh on men they are human too and can get depressed this literally gives insight on why so many men have mental health issues and dont speak up.

[@piecky1361]

yeah but why tf would he need to embarrass his wife like that infront of millions of people? why not show her the song in private and talk it out? why is he tryna capitalize of off this too

[@my_slifestyle_2667]

@piecky1361 because women post their feelings all the time he made a song an maybe he thought it could relate to other men and be helpful since it's not really talked about

[@strangeturtle5947]

That's depression. I had everything I could ever wanted and I felt like I had no right to feel sad... but the depression drowned me deeper.

[@TigersandBearsOhMy]

If a woman had written and posted "Still Not Enough," people would be FLOODING her with support. The dude is obviously actually depressed, and it's sad. They all need therapy, individually and as a family. That being said, damn, I really felt those lyrics. I could cry if I let myself.

[@piecky1361]

don’t even try to pull the ‘if a woman’ card? he has depression for sure but he doesn’t address it once. he talks about feeling ‘sad’ but not once does he use the word, depression. depression doesn’t occur without reason, a person who has depression is sick and they should get treatment. to put ur wife on blast and think that it’s okay to embarrass her proves more so on how he needs to get on that lexapro dosage asap.

[@gb469x]

@@piecky1361 their point still stands. We see women putting their husbands on blast all the time to swooning audiences. It’s different when men do it.

[@virginiafromvirginia3390]

No girlie. It’s not the song. It’s everything else. She loves him more. It’ll never be a good marriage. They give Christian marriages a whole rep. Telling her on camera that she feels differently is disgusting. I’m a SAHM who does most of childcare and cleaning. But my husband has a real job. He cleans and takes care of kids also. This guy is an influencer. It’s joke of a job. She works too.

[@genesisansbro4936]

Right, relationships aren’t easy and they keep trying so hard to deal with it on social media. They are being very true to themselves but people are too quick to judge. They love eachother and communicate but they don’t know how to deal with what’s going on.

[@aaronrodriguez6084]

​@piecky1361 it's true tho

[@cheyenne6213]

My husband and I had two kids back to back and he fell into a deep and dark depression. Lowest moments of his life. Post partum depression in men is common and overlooked. Testosterone drops, regular exercise pauses, sleep deprivation sets in, sun exposure is minimal. Men have bodies and feelings too and they don’t take away from her feelings or yours.

[@jasono2139]

You forgot to mention the lack of "couple exercising", as the mother starts to become completely absorbed in the child's needs. Then the feeling of being little more than an ATM and free repairman service sets in... Kids bring a lot of happiness, but sometimes it seems to be at the expense of the couple's relationship.

[@Rebecca-lw7xu]

Yeah but this couple are mega rich, her parents live with them, they holiday without their children....

[@Smt_.x]

Men don’t get postpartum depression. They can get depression after a baby is born, but that’s not the same as ppd

[@lisaroper421]

My husband is a total heater-- just always hot. After our first was born you could tell his hormones were going wack too-- he was very cold!

[@jasono2139]

@@lisaroper421 it's well known that men's testosterone drops after having kids... thus the "dad bod" many guys end up with (in combination with the added stress and moody wife).

[@kallistacalderon2581]

So we can talk about how moms can have a good marriage, kids, house, carrer but still feel depressed and not enough, like she isn't mom enough or wife enough. But when a man goes through it, it's a red flag. The sex life was too much to share but sharing that he's depressed might be enough to have a wife or gf ask their guy if their ok

[@ohifonlyx33]

Thank goodness I'm not the only one catching that double standard.

[@jenny4935]

I don’t think it’s being looked at as a red flag, if it is I don’t think it should be either. The point I’m seeing is that it seems to be a subtle way of him saying he’s struggling or maybe a cry for help to her which is better than bottling it.. but I don’t think social media is the place to be exploring this in their marriage and his own mental health. The nasty comments and conclusions are proof it’s just not the place to be sharing this struggle. I think the better approach would be to deal with this in private and through therapy and other resources outside of the public and when things get better and more stable, be open about it after. Not in the midst of it all. Social media can be very overwhelming and toxic in general and I really don’t believe this is a healthy outlet during a battle of depression and uncertainty.

[@BrodyStag]

We’ve all sinned. Trust in Jesus alone for salvation everybody. Our works can’t save us but Jesus can! Much love.

[@leahbranford6238]

I think when he says "still not enough" he means even though his life is so beautiful and wonderful, it's not enough to cure him of his anxiety and depression. It's definitely about his mental health.

[@leahbranford6238]

Like I agree he probably should have worded it differently but I don't think he was trying to say she and the kids weren't enough.

[@samhill6454]

Honestly I feel like everyone roasting him for opening up about depression is just furthering the stigma against men who suffer with mental health and suicide.

[@haven27-vl4uj]

exactly

[@twiztedlettesl]

It's a sad situation if his mental health is not good but people aren't "roasting" him for opening up about depression people are roasting him because it sounds like he's blaming his wife and kids for his struggles....

[@dimexx]

So?

[@AimeeFleck]

@@twiztedletteslhow do you get that? He states he has everything he’s ever wanted but it’s still not enough. That’s depression, not a dig against his wife.

[@twiztedlettesl]

@@AimeeFleck please read my comment again. I didn't say I thought he was blaming his wife I said people thought it sounded that way.... I was explaining that people aren't mad at him for opening up about depression I was explaining why people were mad. His wife has postpartum and him saying her and the kids aren't enough seemed wrong to some people...

[@ChaseWhite-lv5bi]

“You made us for yourself and our hearts find no peace until they find rest in you” -Augustine

[@eringodfrey1196]

Came here to say something similar. His wife and kids can’t be enough - only Jesus Christ is enough!

[@serenaortengren9728]

AMEN

[@kymarie20]

This was what my mind went to (not the exact quote but the reason). The reason he doesn’t feel it is enough is because THEY ARENT! Christ is the One whom we should live for. In Him, one finds contentment.

[@mikrahzin]

Maybe being an influencer is what's making him depressed. It's no secret that social media depresses people. All the negative comments, all the comparisons. It's hard

[@elizabethmoore2462]

That song is actually very honest - so many people suffer in silence out of guilt (especially men), he actually did something to encourage people not to suffer in silence but got a lot of bullying as a result.

[@EowynG191]

He's not saying "My wife and kids aren't enough to be me happy." He's saying "I have a perfect life and yet still feel bad about MYSELF."

[@abi4422]

Exactly. Like is it that hard for people to comprehend?! Tf!!

[@coraldover8525]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@mrsgoemans-leith]

Which is basically the definition of depression right? 😂 "On paper, everything in my life looks good. But I feel sad for no apparent reason"

[@555Elsje]

That’s a great way to put it

[@imwithyou38]

@@mrsgoemans-leith close enough. depression is something that is miosunderstood by so many people.....there are people who said i had depression and there are so many people who think you can get rid of depression because they were depressed for a short part of their life and it went away or have friends who say they got rid of it. they were depressed and didnt have depression.....if u have a form of clinical depression it is something u have to live through your entire life(there are many different types of depression technically. im a 36 year old with bi polar 1, GAD, nightmare disorder and autoimmune disorder that gives me hypothyroidism which formed in my mid 20's and undiagosised for 3-4 years which where life was literally a living hell. studied psych since i was 14 due to my family and i figured this would be my life of some sort as my familys genetics which killed off the whole family. im the last person from my genetic tree and the youngest and only person who could have a kid to extend it. the 1 person who i was going to marry died who also lived the life i did(never was going to have a kid and unless adoption. sry for the added stuff about me but i think its important that some people are in a very rare situation.....hes in one also because most guys with serious mentla health problems never get married and a lot of the time if they do its to another person with mental illness. hes a lucky guy but no matter how lucky or unlucky a person knew life will always be empty no matter what

[@starlinreese9206]

No, no, no. "It's still not enough" is exactly right. He has what he thinks he wants, but his mind is telling him what he has, and what he does, is still not enough. God bless them both.

[@proud2batj87]

There's literally a whole book of the Bible written about this feeling

[@jj.wahlberg]

@@proud2batj87which one are you talking about? A few stories come to mind for me but I’m curious what the specific book is.

[@miraculouslyscatterbrained]

@@jj.wahlbergEcclesiasties

[@gunsgalore7571]

4:16 - The idea that a couple would just casually have that conversation ON AIR FOR ALL TO SEE is crazy to me. And I'm not some kind of old person ranting, I'm eighteen.

[@yanise1625]

Exactly, these are normal conversations people have, the problem is they are putting it out for the world to see and that's what's causing the problems. It's like people want you to be tip toeing around everything now even with the person you should be the most open with.

[@Jesuslovesmethisiknow635]

Im 14 and same breh

[@preciliabuya5456]

Exactly, bloody weirdo they are!

[@fibanocci314]

Exactly. I didn't have a problem with him saying that to her because she ASKED, but putting it online was a bit much for me. That ain't nobody's business.

[@gabrielarodrigues5289]

you are right

[@mollyshort2390]

Praying 🙏 for Matt and his little family ❤

[@carolreaume6518]

He is definitely depressed. They need to disconnect from all social media for 5 years. Constantly having to meet the demands and address the anger of complete strangers is what is exhausting them.

[@gingerydelights3554]

He's clearly a closeted gay man.

[@Papaya0000]

Yess 100% agree

[@wanjawandia1786]

Haha 100% of their income comes from social media and the degrees they have barely give enough income to provide for them let alone their two children now

[@1TangyT]

I think the 2kids are exhausting them. We all know how fertile you are just after you've had a baby. Everything they have now is something they once wanted. Sometimes it isnt like how we imagine, & its an anti climax in reality, they dont need him to film his wifes reaction to that news to 'normalise' that. They should disconnect though, their whole family would be healthier, they're becoming like watching other professional messy life over sharers for clicks. It's cheap & exploiting their kids too.

[@gingerydelights3554]

He is the one who wants this life. He's literally doing it to himself. You can't claim to have the morals they do but then post everything possible online. The fact they monetized & posted the birth video is proof they care more about $ then anything else. They are a great example of everything you shouldn't do.

[@oursweethomearizona]

People can twist everything so EASILY. From my perspective, He was stating that he has everything he ever wanted, but he isn’t feeling good enough within himself.. like he doesn’t feel like the best father, husband, human and the depresses him. He is saying, “Why am I not happy with myself yet, when I have the best life, why am I not enough.”

[@thepkism]

EXACTLY

[@ilenavanhouwelingen9673]

Yes! He's not saying they're not enough, he's saying that all these external factors are not enough to prevent the dark thoughts...

[@mfarisap]

Well said.

[@Idiotwriter711]

i agree

[@JeffDexterIII]

I agree that people twist things. At the same time, I do appreciate when writers take the time to say precisely what they mean. Even when using metaphors or symbols, there's an art to specificity. In my opinion, that's one of the factors that differentiates decent songwriters from excellent ones. And I actually think "why am I not enough" as you wrote, is a better line.

[@lhallora1]

🤦‍♀️ As a 40 something woman I can relate to this. I have a wonderful husband and child but sometimes, not often, I feel sad. It's part of the human condition. Best cure for sadness is to get out there and do something. Go to the gym, play with your kids, do some craft, run an errand, sit in the sun. Simple things which take you out of the "me, me, me" headspace are good.

[@mixedmediaartgirl300]

That's why I stopped searching for happiness, and found contentment. Contentment and gratitude sticks with me through thick and thin, but happiness and sadness comes and goes

[@brusso456]

simple depression cure, just look up. (with eyes only) as long as you look up, you can not get depressed. smiling also works too.

[@mixedmediaartgirl300]

@@brusso456 glad that works for you, but no

[@Island_Bag]

thats wild you said that @marcusholbert2525

[@blazerprophet]

I have followed them for a few years and they have a great vlog. Seem like really genuine people.

[@emmathompson4391]

It really sucks that people online aren’t even trying to be compassionate to the couple. Imagine how much worse his or her depression could get when they are being ripped into and being portrayed as a bad person online. I really hope everyone who needs healing gets it.

[@thegamingkitchen8429]

Why should they ?

[@Monatguest]

If you watched th for a while you'll see why ppl don't like him in particular. I've followed them before they had their first child and when they had the baby you can start to see how a lot of things change in the family. She's under a lot of pressure to be online which she has said she doesn't want to be. Its his thing not hers. It also seems like she's under a lot of pressure for him to stay very fit. You the point she did a very intense race a couple weeks after a c section that she her self said was extremely hard on her. He's always going on about her looks and has said he misses how she was before they had kids saying s*x is just ok after her having 2 kids and many other incredibly insensitive things he had said about her. On top of that joking how he's single for a day/week when he was away recording a song. That was the breaking point for a lot of the ppl who still tolerated him. She seems like she just wants a quiet life and enjoy being a mom while he keeps holding on the the past and putting the pressure on her to play thus odd role of her teen self.

[@waltermh111]

@Monatguest You know, women love to say they want this or that. But they sure do love the hot boys and the bad boys. And this guy is a combination of both. Somehow the woman's always able to come out. Looking innocent while making the stupidest decisions ever. the most self destructive decisions But I'm just making this comment to say. They will never learn if you don't hold a woman accountable also. The guy is not going to change because he keeps getting the women. He's not even lying to them like his red flat are flashing. But if people don't hold the woman accountable for her choices , she will just go after the next hot boy because she was told she did no wrong. Basically neither of these two are good people. The only way she can become a good person is if she is made to learn her lesson and is not done by placating her.

[@nicoledickerson9516]

@@Monatguest get a life of your own and stop watching and investing so much thought into others lives that they put online. Viewers are part of the problem. You’ve watched way too much of their lives, and feel entitled to their life because of it. The viewers contribute to the problem, and act all innocent as many try to talk this young mother out of her marriage with her husband. I’ve seen a few of their videos and the comments are anti male and aggressive towards their family. They’ve got two children, and people are looking to destroy this family if this young mom listens to the talking strangers online that weirdly think they know them because of online videos.

[@ang5798]

Problem is, they are portraying themselves. The solution is to get offline.

[@FumbleFairyGaming]

When it comes to depression, you can have everything you've ever dreamed about and yet still feel like something is missing. He was not putting his wife down at all. It was a cry for help with depression.

[@ZachClarkFilms]

At least somebody got it!😂

[@Adam-sd2ow]

"men need to talk about their feelings" same people "shut up whining"

[@NathanM4A1]

Exactly. These same people, Brett probably included, would critique that for centuries men have been expected to bottle things up which has led to high suicide rates and many other issues. But when a man actually expresses his depression, he gets criticized. And funnily enough most of those criticizing are women. And yet they say men are the problem! How he described it is 100% how depression works. You can have the perfect life with everything you want and need, but because depression is an illness, you still feel empty and unfulfilled. Just like how the happiest people are often the ones most suicidal and depressed. But don't worry, its men who are forcing other men to keep things bottled up.

[@ZachClarkFilms]

@@NathanM4A1 was the last sentence sarcasm or not

[@louisenaude4467]

I couldn't agree more

[@markic6224]

Why can't people see that he isn't happy with himself, not with his wife and kids. He is asking for help for him, not them.

[@babytriin]

exactly

[@HatSports]

have you ever even seen the channel?

[@trillizi]

Thank you, jeez

[@hannaholive6370]

I totally agree, when I heard the song it actually resonated with me quite a bit and even the line “it’s still not enough”. I’ll just say right off the bat, I’m a Christian so when I really break down these emotions/feelings of something not being enough it’s because it’s really not. I’m trying to fill a void that can only be filled by something (or someone, as I believe) much larger than anything life on this earth has to offer. All I wanted in life was to be a wife and mom. And I am both of those things! And yes, it makes me so happy. But there are days when the enemy attacks and plants seeds of doubt or I have a bad day and I ask “I’m living my dream, why isn’t that enough?” But often it’s because I’m trying to get spiritual satisfaction from earthly things, not from my Savior. I’m often not actively pursuing Him when I feel this way… even though I believe He’s there, I know He’s there, often times it’s my heart that isn’t in the right place. And that’s very real. I don’t know who these people are, I’ve seen a video or two with them. I don’t think they (or anyone for that matter) should share half as much of their life as they are sharing… but I truly hope that he gets the help that he needs, and my prayer would be that he and his wife find the hope that can only be found in Christ! Anyway, I’m sure there will be some who read this conmen and think I’m crazy and that’s okay. But I just had to say that his feelings are real as far as having everything you’ve ever wanted but not understanding why it doesnt feel like it's enough. And my belief is that as long as we put all our stock into our life here on earth and achieving all our dreams but dont invest in a relationship with Jesus, then we will never find true satisfaction.

[@angeler105]

​@hannaholive6370 thanks for taking the time to write all of that out. It's truth! And a great reminder!

[@DreamOfSomedayy]

When I heard Matt singing about feeling 'empty' even though he had 'everything', my immediate thought was, "He needs Jesus!" Because that's the truth! In this life, you can have everything you ever dreamed of but it WILL be empty if you aren't fulfilled first and foremost by Jesus. Faith in Jesus Christ is eternal. Things on Earth are temporary. The raw fact is, kids, a wife, a job, a house, etc. IS NOT ENOUGH and never will be. There will always be a piece of someone that is missing if they aren't following God. He's the one who gives us our identity and our strength even when our thoughts are pulling us apart inside. I'm surprised that nobody else brought this up. From a Christian worldview, it's my first thought.

[@bonniepaora8664]

He is Christian

[@angellopes1416]

This is the first thing popped into my head too! I just commented exactly the same and started to scroll to see how people will encourage men not leading as God intended.

[@lois20243]

Exactly!!

[@jayg1316]

Im pretty sure theyre super religious

[@andersonfamilystory]

YES!!! HE WILL ONLY FIND SATISFACTION IN THE LORD 👏👏👏👏👏

[@maddiemania_]

He said “my sadness has nothing to do with them,” that’s exactly the point. I have depression, and it’s not because of anyone else. I have a gf and a family that love and support me, but that doesn’t take depression away. It doesn’t mean they’re not enough. Depression is a chemical imbalance. While people can help you feel good in the moment, you can still be depressed. People are missing the point

[@gittykellerman7936]

My point exactly!! Everyone is missing the point.

[@ZovaBe]

Well said. I'm 30 now and have been depressed for as long as I can remember and I've only ever confided in two people about it. They both told me I have no reason to be depressed because I have a home to live in and food to eat. I was a child both times i confessed so I believed them when they told me I was being ungrateful. The two people were my mom and my brother. Now that I'm older my mom understands depression better, my brother still believes there's children starving in Africa so I have no reason to be depressed so I've asked my mom to stop updating and bothering him about my depression

[@hannahtedeschi673]

The chemical imbalance theory really isn’t substantiated. It’s the reverse in fact 😖 you’re sad for a reason. There’s a root cause that isn’t purely physical.

[@wowitsasia]

Exactly, I’ve dealt with depression for the longest time. It never has anything to do with anyone else. I love my husband and my daughter. Just because I’m not okay mentally doesn’t mean it has anything to do with them. It’s all about me.

[@Psychiatricnerd]

It’s multifaceted. Depression is a chemical imbalance that can be caused by circumstances or physiological processes.

[@jtbfitness]

It’s amazing how quickly social media and the “need” for constant attention is destroying our society.

[@ahhbee8298]

My cousin experienced depression a few years ago. He worked hard all his life, uni good job, bought a house, has wife and kids. On paper his life was perfect but something was missing. I love his wife because she could if left but she never did even when he wanted too. She stood by him and they worked through it. Now he still has his job but on side he does something he always wanted to do, which was write. He now has a children's books based on his kids, which loves. Male depression is so real hence middle life crisis.

[@MarieNeco]

Hope everything okay now 💓

[@marycelalopez]

I’m reading this with tears in my eyes. My husband is currently going through a very rough season where he just comes home from work and is unmotivated. We have two beautiful little children and he’s an incredible dad but he just isn’t happy. And this just started about a few months ago. I am just praying to God to heal him and give me patience because I love him and want the best for him. Something very excited recently fell on his lap about coaching a high school soccer team at our kids school and he’s excited about it. He loves the sport knows it left and right and I know he will do so good. I pray this what will help him come out of this hole. I’m so glad your cousin is doing a lot better.

[@JudithIbeme]

Ur the only person that have said something reasonable. You are filled with Wisdom. May God bless you

[@pint_pipe_cross]

Marriage is meant to be exclusive. I relate to the mental struggles that come along with the immediate postpartum period and having two under two, but that was a struggle I shared with my husband. Not the internet. Marriage deserves privacy and respect; the trouble starts as soon as you put your struggles in the public eye.

[@sarahwheeler4353]

Exactly

[@mike02454]

... largely because few understand the nuances and make broad judgements while being uninformed.

[@KaitlyntheGardener]

💯

[@TheKnellBelle]

I agree.

[@pint_pipe_cross]

@@mike02454 Exactly this. I think most husbands and wives will agree that they've had bad moments as spouses. But you apologize, forgive, move on, and grow stronger because of it. Imagine all those worst moments being put online. You can't leave those mistakes in the past anymore... the internet never forgets!

[@ethankinnunen4839]

Matt's depression song feels genuine, as someone that's battled depression he paints almost exactly how I feel, with different life circumstances. The it's still not enough line is actually very relatable to me, I always think when this happens/when I get this/when I accomplish that/etc. that my depression will magically disappear, but it doesn't. Some of my biggest depression hits happen on my best days.

[@chloecarlson6035]

My Dad tried to end his life because of silent/hidden depression and chaos in his inner life. Please don't discourage these people. I'm so glad my Dad is still here.

[@zomacchy16]

I’m glad hes still here with you, May Gods and Goddesses Bless your family ❤❤❤

[@MerryJayneslastdance]

That has nothing to do with this video

[@Sayithowitis15]

​@@MerryJayneslastdanceDid you watch the whole video? It definitely has something to do with it.

[@throwergirl966]

​@@MerryJayneslastdance 12:54, literally discussing the topic

[@throwergirl966]

I am happy he is still here. I hope he continues to get better

[@amydelevingne3826]

be thankful in every single thing you have is the key of true happiness

[@ThatOneLadyOverHere]

What's ironic is that people keep saying that they want men to talk about their feelings more, but then when they do they get shamed. I am so glad his wife is open to hearing what he has to say and is supportive. They are absolutely too open on the internet, but they clearly talk things through and have good communication strategies which is key to making a relationship work. I do hope they are also getting professional help for things like his depression and not just saying "oh, he wrote a song, he's fine now!" I'm glad he has coping mechanisms, but professionals do help a lot.

[@tommythecat4961]

yeah but the point is not the feelings, it's that making a tiktok about your feelings is not the same as talking openly about serious issues. Especially if you have an audience, and the subject is important to you, putting it in a tacky song gives the impression that you're not taking it seriously.

[@justhavingfun9798]

People are more upset about the timing of when he shared his song with his wife. To a lot of people it was just distasteful.

[@mocooper1049]

The line “is still not enough” taken with emotional intelligence, and in the correct context, is really powerful, because he is reaching other men who feel like no matter what they do they cannot do enough or be enough and this is who he’s talking to. And we need to tell the men in our life they’re doing a great job. We appreciate what they do. It’s not just women that need to hear that.

[@CeCe1066]

Hmm if he thought HE wasn’t enough, wouldn’t the lyrics be “I’M still not enough”? That’s a pretty easy change for any native english speaker, and that would completely change the message to make it less insulting and offensive to his wife and kids. As it is though, the line “it’s still not enough” conveys some pretty negative feelings towards his life around him and not directly himself. Very odd choice of words for an english speaker

[@BayleeAtkins]

This is the point people are missing. The issue is not him discussing mental health, it’s that use of “it’s” in his lyrics - which points the finger at his family. Just seems like an odd choice of wording.

[@stephaniedunham4104]

Amen. The suggestion I’m seeing elsewhere that he change the lyric to “him” is not a good one because depression isn’t just about how you feel about yourself, it’s about how you feel about your circumstances sometimes too. He acknowledges that there is no reason to feel this way, so the statement that follows is actually illogical, which makes it a pretty good reflection of some people’s experience with depression. The song is not about his family and people seem to miss that. People forget that 1-10 men struggle with postpartum depression. Not saying that’s what he has but it is something to keep in mind.

[@84mobstar]

​@@BayleeAtkinsno it doesn't.. anyone that knows anything about depression it's that if your brain isn't right no matter how good life seems from the outside or on paper it's still not enough to make him happy in his brain.. nothing will, it's not like he could get a new family and be happy all of a sudden.. it's like post partum depression in woman .. they will have a new baby and still be so sad and kill themselves... I knew a girl had 5 children 5 and under .. when the baby turned 6 months old she shot herself .. people ask why she had a husband, 5 children, a house and family that lived her. But it doesn't matter with chemical imbalance in the brain

[@sdust251977]

​@@CeCe1066an yet you have not written your own song, you know what they say every a is a critic.

[@aniccaadams]

It’s about depression, which does affect people who “have it all” when a celebrity overdoses or kills themselves over depression no one is like so all of that fame and family and friends and money and fans etc wasn’t enough for you??? People need to realize that depression is not circumstantial sometimes.

[@danhalen0120]

I feel like most people should be able to recognize this and read between the lines. Being human is so complicated and hard. His song is too good not to share because it is relatable! Keep going A & M

[@kckc11]

I actually met these two in real life a couple years ago. We live in the same area and I ran into them at a coffee shop one day. I originally started watching them because they were a relatable, young family, and our 1st children are literally a couple weeks apart in age. They seem like really nice, genuine people. That being said, some of the things have put online recently have made me cringe a bit. However, I have to give them grace because who knows how people would judge my family if it was all on display. All that to say, I think everyone needs to be more aware of what they’re sharing. Unfortunately, sharing everything (good or bad) is how Matt and Abby make a living. All press is good press! I’m proud they protect their children’s identities, and I hope they find happiness.

[@therockbottom5256]

Same, I never met them but they seem as genuine as someone could be. I genuinely really like them, and I’m member of the “commentary & hate” side of KZbin. And sharing everything IS how they make their income, so I see their over sharing as “the sacrifices you make for work”

[@emilyandersen7407]

Yes I met them too and they are so sweet! Ofc they’re a little cringey and over share, but they’re theatre kids what can we expect😂

[@ZoeNordek]

Who wouldn’t be depressed if you share your life with everybody and people criticising you, making negative assumptions, accusing you of some s***. Instead going offline he chose ti sing about it.

[@adrienne80s]

It’s because as influence they get it in their head that sharing will help other people who maybe can relate to what they’re going through and they won’t feel so alone.

[@ZoeNordek]

@@adrienne80s exactly! But as it is online you could get this: - as suggested to bring awareness and compassion to others experiencing and can be praised - could be acting all together for clicks and profit (easy assumption when you dont have full context) - could be some sort of abusive act on his side and her is actually captive … as many people that many views and no way to prove either…. I of course choose to believe the first.

[@richardvancleave2139]

It doesnt matter she really hates you your a man everything she is not and she hates you for it

[@Sagethealpha06]

As far as family vloggers go, these two are not the worst it could be. They’re actually doing a really good job in my opinion. They bring light to a lot of issues that aren’t really talked about that should be, make great music and content all while doing their best to protect their kids from the dangers of the internet. They don’t show their kids faces and they try to keep their content based mostly on them and what they’re doing rather than exploiting the kids and using them for views like so many other family channels. They’re saying the quiet parts out loud and I’m 100% here for it. @MattandAbby Keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing amazing things ❤

[@zoe_24]

Agreed

[@spidersNsquirrels]

Yes have always loved them as KZbinrs and I agree i think they are doing great , I just felt for her a few times but with his age that stuff comes with the territory

[@grahamlifejourney]

Yes 🙌

[@furbyfurbs]

Yes, I really enjoy their content and even learn new things from them. I truly believe they are genuine people.

[@TheRandomchica]

Fr they are doing the best things for their family and they don’t even show there kids faces anymore so that’s good.

[@rourou6338]

‏‪9:24‬‏ This is depression. You may have everything others want, but you are still not satisfied with yourself You may achieve your dreams, be surrounded by people you love, but you are still unhappy, which is why we do not find many people talking about their feelings simply. This is the expected response (how can you be unhappy when you have everything?)

[@scottcrabface5662]

Bunch of immature kids acting like this guy is a monster for feeling what most people do at some point in life. Life is hard and complicated. He loves his and wife and kids but something isn't clicking. Life isn't a party and you'll feel unfulfilled and unhappy at times regardless of how great you know you have it.

[@Serenov.a]

It's wild how bent people are getting. I have a wonderful husband, an amazing baby. There are financial things holding us back and I'm sure that contributes. I'm so unhappy. I don't feel right or like me. That doesn't mean for a single second that I blame my family or think THEY aren't enough. But for reasons I can't explain, things don't feel like enough. Even though my family is everything I've ever wanted.

[@wiggiag]

This just shows you how miserable the people online really are

[@mm-ln9sw]

i’ve struggled with depression most of my life, i get where he is coming from. i hope he is able to work through it and get to a better place. depression makes you numb. you know you love the people and things in your life, but you can’t feel anything. so it just feels empty.

[@_shayner_]

It’s like people think we should never feel opposite feelings.

[@DramaQueenIsQueen]

I can feel for him deeply. I got married a little over a year ago. I am happier than I’ve ever been, but that does not fix everything. I am still deeply depressed. On the outside, I am getting my masters and I am happily married. On the inside, I am hurting for reasons I cannot explain. Of course I’ve discussed this with my husband and he knows that I am not happy, but he also knows it’s not because of him. I can understand why people are questioning his phrasing, but you can want more out of life and still love your family. There can be something missing even if you are in a loving relationship with children.

[@angelajason-ik4vd]

As someone dealing with depression, I have 2 beautiful daughters but I just don’t feel happy. It’s not that they are not enough, on the contrary they are a reason for me to get up and keep going, but I recognize the feeling of “it” not being enough. But it has nothing to do with my girls. So I presume that all the people taking it the wrong way don’t have a clue what depression is really about. And yes, there are times I feel really happy and yes 6 months later you can feel the opposite. Why is this strange?

[@jules5420]

Being a human is hard. And you dont need to be perfect or feel perfect. It's okay to feel that way as long as you are trying to be your best in that situation. And "best" doesn't mean perfect.

[@rachell910]

Magnesium and vitamin D vitamins

[@InDirectDiana]

I have dealt with depression for much of my marriage and especially postpartum from both of my pregnancies. I totally understand. But what makes this uncomfortable for me is the digs he's made at his wife and posting it online. That just seems way off. I never humiliated my husband or kids in the process. That's the thing I don't like about those posts. If he was talking openly about the depression without subtle insults, etc, that would be totally different.

[@justhavingfun9798]

@@InDirectDiana exactly

[@isaisa967]

The way he said that about her down there. Oh my god. You couldn’t torture that information out of me. I would cry so hard

[@ferretlord3990]

I expected HER to answer 😅 Him saying “no” threw me way off guard

[@Iyawo2B]

omg i remember. he fudged that one up.

[@FlorHuang]

Literally ew Just ew, depression or not that was a dick move and shouldn't be online I wanted to hug this woman seriously

[@Olinet-gc5vn]

I believe that this raw content helps to normalize struggles. So I feel thankful to them for sharing not only their highs but lows as well

[@essyg9119]

Same here!

[@peculiarfish0]

Unfortunately, the reaction to the depression song is exactly why guys don't talk about it, and can't open up to loved ones, because (from experience) it's often taken in a negative way, and then you're made to feel guilty and even worse about it. If anything the reactions online will just prove to people that opening up or talking about it is not acceptable to most people..

[@TheFergo911]

hey as a fellow man, I agee it isn't good to show that you are on shaky ground especially when you are in a relationship or married. It is frowed upon because the responsibility of a man is supposed to be that you are sure in who you are and what you are. So this isn't going to work, I highly recommend that men get into counselling to figure these issues out and not go to your spouce about these things apart from talking about it on a surface level. But this isn't a one size fits all solution, some wifes want to hear it all and are okay with it while some believe that you are not doing what you are supposed to do and they will hear but they hear with resentment. So it is a tight rope, which is why finding a counsellor is important and going to then occasionally to just talk about these issues is important.

[@obajuluwaoluwatomisin3883]

​@@TheFergo911sensible comment 👌

[@QuacklifeK]

@@TheFergo911 You’re wife should never frown upon you having emotions as long as you’re expressing them appropriately (not screaming in people’s faces etc., man OR woman). Just because you’re human and you don’t always feel 100% sure, confident, or stable about something doesn’t take away from your leadership skills or anything else your momentary feelings pertain to. If she can’t be there for you/support you, she’s not even worth your time.

[@veatamendonsa5677]

idt the problem is about him being depressed it's about them putting it out online like this fishing for views...

[@peculiarfish0]

​@@veatamendonsa5677 That's not what the comments people had show though is it..

[@Doplayors]

My husband feels this way, so I get it. It’s fun to hear but that feeling is there to remind us we need something more than the world can offer. More like a Someone. I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety at the age of 9 and was contemplating ending my life at 15. Praise the Lord I was given rides to a weekly Bible study where I learned about Jesus Christ. Nine months after attendance I cried out to Him in tears before bed, “I hear of Your love and I hear of Your promises, but I want to experience it for myself!” When I was waking up the next day I heard the audible voice of God (although I didn’t put that together at the time) say, “I will never leave you.” I was instantly healed of my deep sadness and depression ever since!

[@wayklm9471]

Bless be the Lord Jesus. He is everything we need. I love Him so much ❤

[@ferretlord3990]

That’s funny I was gonna kill myself because of that awful religion. Things got better for little 8 year old me after I left that crazy mindset behind and put all my energy into learning math. Life was absolute hell up until that point, no child should feel such a strong desire to kill themselves.

[@openhearts5000]

I thank Our Lord Jesus Christ for you. ❤❤❤❤ Let His name be praised

[@randommermaid308]

The post brith discussion…..WHY!? Why do people think they need to share literally EVERYTHING! I can’t think of a more PRIVATE conversation 🙈

[@MrsMysteryWoman]

All of your transitions are so smooth, clever and oftentimes hilarious, but that transition to the Birch Gold blurb was especially flawless.

[@caric7949]

At 45, I personally knew 3 men that committed suicide -2 of 3 were family men with children. He's right though, he doesn't have enough, he needs help and a personal relationship with God.

[@agonsfitness7308]

Let me tell you a story. While I was studying for my degree in theology, deeply involved in youth and missionary work and telling people God was the answer; I always had this gigantic hole in me screaming it's still not enough. The most accurate lines I've found to describe this come from a U2 song. "I believe in the kingdom come Then all the colors will bleed into one Bleed into one But yes I'm still running You broke the bonds And you loosed the chains Carried the cross Of my shame Oh my shame You know I believe it But I still haven't found what I'm looking for" Just cause it works for you doesn't mean it works for everyone.

[@chickens3156]

I was hoping someone would bring up God

[@ACL7211]

He does have a relationship with God though! They talk about Christianity on their channel and how they waited for marriage before having sex. I know this is shocking to you, but religion doesn't solve everything. And life can be good without it.

[@chickens3156]

@@ACL7211 First of all, I didn’t know he was Christian. Second of all, I don’t think non-Christians realize how dependent they are on the Christian worldview. You have to borrow from our worldview just to live. How do you know what is good or bad without God? You don’t know, you can only know what you like or don’t like. How do you even know that your own eyes are reliable? How do you know that anything is true? Thirdly, I don’t know who ever told you that life was perfect as a Christian. Because it’s very clear in the Bible that there will be suffering, but the difference is we know it is not in vain. We don’t suffer as people without hope. Life may not be perfect but we have a purpose and reason to live that non-Christians don’t have if they are consistent with their worldview. I’m not here to get into an argument but that’s just something to think about.

[@lindsayschlegel9601]

@@ACL7211You’re right. “religion” in itself doesn’t solve anything at all. That’s a fact. What does solve it is being in right relationship with Jesus. Walking with him daily. Not looking back at the past, not worried and wondering about the future. Living each day, intentionally with Jesus. And that IS the one and true answer to it all. I pray everyone will come to know Jesus and this reality. It’s sad to see so many seemingly having it all, but they’re still just so miserable on the inside.

[@Destinyirus278]

As a women myself I’ve noticed this major trend on social media where it’s a different response when men or women share their mental health struggles. (Ex: almost every single female influencer that’s a mom or a wife will post about their mental health struggles & the comments are very nice, compassionate, supportive etc.. (how it should be) but when men post the same videos the comments are just full of women & men making fun of them. I saw several videos on tik tok a while ago, 1 girl was sharing how her husband unalived himself & everyone was extremely kind & respectful in the comments, I saw a video yesterday of a guy sharing how his wife unalived himself & the comments weee like “what did u do to her?” “Obviously you cheated, or u hurt her in some way” some comments were legit saying “u should ☠️ urself” (cruel af comments mostly from other women but also men, making fun of this dude, & some comments saying just “man up & move on” idk it’s just sad af.. I remember friends being like “idk why men don’t open up about their mental health issues” & legit just from what I’ve seen on social media made me start to understand why men don’t. it’s just sad the lack of empathy

[@Csea655]

Well said!

[@chrisreynoldsartwork]

This is a society of hypocrites, always has been, always will be...

[@celian.6577]

Well, to be fair, this man, by his own admission, believes in traditional gender roles. Why would he expect his feelings to be treated with the same understanding and compassion as women's feelings get? Something doesn't add up. You want to "be the man"? Then get treated like a man. You can't claim wanting to follow strict gender roles when it's convenient, and then ask for more equality of treatment on other matters.

[@Martyna456]

@@celian.6577 He's a human, not a robot. Feelings and emotions are the same for everyone. Mental health issues can happen to everyone and they can be just as deadly for everyone. Being a man or a woman shoudn't matter.

[@celian.6577]

@@Martyna456 I agree with you. But people who truly believe in strict traditional gender roles don't think that being a man or a woman shouldn't matter. To them, men are men, and women are women. They can't possibly be treated the same way, because they are not the same. Either you agree with that lifestyle, or you don't. If you agree with it, though, you can't come crying when people treat you harshly and expect you to endure silently because you are a man, or suffocate you by dictating your life and expecting you to submit because you are a woman. Those are what traditional gender roles are about.

[@Homemadesweetiepie]

I have had depression my whole life. Now I have a husband and I’m living out my dream, and I completely understand what he was talking about. Just because you have everything you’ve ever wanted, doesn’t mean that depressive thoughts and anxieties just go away. I wish people would get their heads out of their butts honestly. And that lyric about it not being enough isn’t about his wife and kids not being enough for him. It’s a thought that a lot of people have when you get something you want, but you still feel that sadness. It feels like nothing will ever be enough to to get you out of that hole you’re trapped in.

[@elliewillow4556]

Exactly

[@Knap4501]

That’s exactly the point I took away from that music. I am planning my wedding right now with the man of my dreams, but that doesn’t make my depression or anxiety or chronic illness go away. You are always told you’re gonna be better when your life is exactly what you hope for, and it’s just not true. Part of what makes my fiancé so wonderful is the fact that he will hold me when I’m hurting and be there for me, but even he understands that some days it’s harder for me to be at 100% or to feel good about myself.

[@Cantloss4]

exactly, especially when you do have everything you want in life but you still struggle with depression, which can make the depression worse because you feel like you don't understand why you still feel sad when you have everything you could have ever wanted.

[@TheMissgoodbody]

We need to be taught others aren’t responsible for our happiness, however I think we all intuit how life circumstances affect depression and make assumptions

[@GeekNewz]

this song makes sense in my opinion. sometimes you know you got exactly what you want, but you feel like something's missing.

[@LocoLynx]

Being a man being called worthless or made to feel worthless sticks with you harder and longer than being told you're loved and needed/wanted. It's a hard feeling to shake even when you seemingly have it all and you're still not happy.

[@jablonowskibrandon]

Facts

[@pokemaster6573]

I feel like it’s been watered down at this point cause it happens so much o. The internet LOL

[@daniellesve5595]

I would say this goes for women too..

[@UmiNoOto]

This is why I would never record my relationship. People are going to criticize everything you do. Some things need to be kept private

[@Bella.Martin]

Literally just watched a criminal minds episode about over sharing on social media. These families need to be stopped 😭

[@dailywire_memes]

These guys have infiltrated my KZbin shorts and now are on The Comments Section, I can’t escape them 😂

[@marycelalopez]

Seriouslyyyyyy!!!!!!

[@QTpatootie95]

Fr 😭😭

[@jwyluvs]

I literally don't even know them. 😭

[@rosed7060]

Oh man the song about depression hit deep with me. People who never had it don’t understand how it feels. It’s like eating and eating and never being full. I can imagine that it’s worse when you have a family who need you

[@Ella_Vande]

I think a lot of people underestimate the emotional toll postpartum and having very young children take on a marriage. My husband and I also got married very young and had our oldest children less than a year apart. It’s a lot. All the hormones, all the changes in routine, the lack of sleep, and not knowing how exactly to support each other, my husband also worked nights, so I was the sole caregiver for the kids 24/7. I struggled with postpartum depression, and my husband felt like he was missing out on so much because he only saw us for an hour or so a day. I feel like they are just struggling a bit to find balance in this new season, like all new parents. They just have the added pressure of needing content to provide for their kids so we’re watching them find their way in real time, but instead of offering them grace in this really challenging season, people are tearing them down.

[@gingerlee726]

Don't your kids sleep at night? I worked nights and he worked days so I was up until 3am at work then my day with the kids started at 7. He got to sleep all night. I did everything.

[@Ella_Vande]

@@gingerlee726 they were both less than a year old, so no. They didn’t really sleep well at night. He had a weird 12 hour schedule and worked from 5pm to 5am. I ended up finding out that a delayed schedule worked out best for us. Kids woke up around 9:30-10, we ate a big lunch around 2:30 since that was the only meal we all ate together, had a lunch style dinner around 8 and the kids went down for the night around 11. I’d then stay up until around 2 doing dishes, laundry, cleaning the house, take a shower, etc. I’d go to bed after feeding the youngest baby her first nighttime feed, my oldest would wake up and want cuddles or to night nurse around 4. The youngest would wake up again around 6 for another feeding, and I’d get up at 8. They also shared a room, so sometimes one would wake the other up. Good sleep didn’t happen until my second child was 18 months old. That was almost 9 years ago and my husband has since moved back to day shift, but it was really difficult there for a while until we hit our stride.

[@obajuluwaoluwatomisin3883]

On the contrary, i believe its overstated hust to create awareness. Due to the awareness many people that wouldn't have felt it now have it/claim to have it. We are living in times when "attention grabbing" and victim mentality is desirable. Check how many African women experience postpartum. Western women have better lives and comfort yet childbirth is more traumatic for them. Doesn't make sense. Btw some african women still use nappies instead of diapers.

[@dyanthe-8973]

They have her parents live with them to help take care of the kids + they are travelling multiple times a month without kids 😅

[@Ella_Vande]

@@obajuluwaoluwatomisin3883 I would say it’s because we have such comparatively easy lives that more women are experiencing it. Coupled with the reality that we don’t really have the tight knit community and support systems needed to make sure we’re okay. Motherhood is lonely without that immediate access to others who love you and want to help you succeed. In many third world cultures older women in the community essentially take over for a period of time so the new mother can just focus on recovering from birth and taking care of the new baby. Chinese confinement is a good example of this. This is not the case for most women in American society. The immediate access to support and the expectation of just going on with daily life immediately after birth is a dangerous combination.

[@chancyross9126]

Thank you Brett!!! I feel the same way. People are judging them way too harshly!!!

[@kikiursalone]

"The day that you were born is the day that God decided the world could not exist without you" is such a powerful quote to remember when you feel low, worthless or worse! Please know that your negative feelings will come and go but that you are cherished by your Creator! Thank you to the originator of the quote and God bless everyone! ❤

[@Dude-dx5ns]

As a Christian, that's biblically inaccurate and narcissistic. Better thing to say is God created you cause He loves you and has a purpose for you, one you'd only learn IF you form a relationship with Him

[@kikiursalone]

@@Dude-dx5ns Fair enough, I meant what you said

[@WeLoveEarth44]

This is a famous quote from Rabbi Nachman of Breslov who is a well-known Jewish rabbi from about 200 years ago. As a jew, this quote absloutly lifts me up every time i struggle.

[@lilosnow1759]

Yet babies are being killed every day

[@tt8807]

Men did this with poetry literally for thousands of years. We read it to this day and call it art. Good for them they are happy in THEIR marriage.

[@jillturley6442]

I've seen a good amount of their content in the last year or so and I've got the impression they're a good young couple, emphasis on the young, figuring their marriage and parenting out. And the thing is, that's totally normal and they should be allowed to do that, but they're doing it in front of a crowd. So missteps that they're inevitably gonna make and grow from are magnified to the masses and blown out of proportion. As much as the internet loves getting involved and knowing all the gossip, we'd all do ourselves a favor by sharing less than we think we should

[@yanise1625]

I think if you want your marriage to last, you should not be influencers. It's a horrible way to live inviting all these people into your space.

[@MomDeskClub]

I think it's also helpful to remember that if you are creating content, you should be doing it for the people 5-10 years behind you ... their message is PERFECT for young people who think having a marriage and family is old school ... it's NOT great content for people like me who have been married almost a decade, am pregnant with my 5th child, and have been juggling marriage, family and business for a while ... it tends to make me cringe, because I'm watching as someone who is through those years and I know that they still have a lot to learn and juggle and balance ... doesn't take away their value or what they bring to the table! But it's hard to be in an influencer position when you are still in the "wisdom gathering" mode of life ... 🤷🏼‍♀. They still need all of the love, wisdom, and wise people surrounding them as possible - they are only at the beginning of their life!

[@Leabuna]

That’s why is so hard to judge people you don’t know personally,just best to not. Everybody focusing on their on lives seems like the key.

[@DirtyD07]

35 YO father of 2 here. I've watched Matt and Abby a bit to understand the dynamic, but also can relate to the song lyrics because sometimes that's how I feel. Matt is feeling that HE is not enough for his own satisfaction. It's not Abby or the boys, it's his own mental state that is causing him to feel the lack of joy and success he KNOWS that he should be feeling with his life. He's trying to find where his joy for his self has gone. That's nothing but only he can find and relight.

[@Kathakathan11]

He needs a real job only for this reason.

[@MontannaIrenie]

I have been watching them for a couple of years. They have such an amazing relationship and they have their own type of humor. Abby has talked so many times about how much he loves her and makes her feel beautiful and loved. They are middle school sweethearts so their marriage is a lot more mature than the internet is used to. He was being honest with her in his music. They are lyrics that are written in the moment not how he feels all the time. Depression kills men a lot more than women and I am proud of him for making this song💛

[@majesticmicrobes60]

As a mom who went through some really tough mental struggles.. everything was about me and the baby. No one even thought to ask my husband how he was doing. Men are sidelined in our society. It’s really hard to deal with someone who has mental health struggles.. let alone fathers, who have this huge weight on them. They have to be strong for their wives and children. I think men (and everyone) should have more therapy. It’s so helpful to talk to someone who isn’t reliant on you, who isn’t pressured by what you’re feeling, who isn’t affiliated with the people who you have to live with. It helped me so much!

[@May04bwu]

This is a horrible take on life. You both should be able to afford to be vulnerable. You both share the burden, you both carry the weight and work on it together. If you fall, he catches you. If he falls, you catch him. Doesn't matter if it's mental or physical health, finanancial issues... or whatever. At the same time, both of you should be mature enough to know where the boundries are and to seek out proffessional help once that boundry is overstepped, from whichever side. Your significant other isn't a therapist. Yes, we all struggle, that's why there is therapy and we can all benefit from it, I agree with that. But I very much disagree with men being sidelined by society or carrying any kind of responsibility for others on their own. That's not how healthy relationships and families work. Fathers in healthy environment feel safe enough to seek help and take care of their own needs, because it's essential for the family to function properly.

[@tradfluteman]

​@@May04bwu You can't always burden people with your anxiety and pain, especially when it hinders a larger project you are both invested in. The traditional male role is to shelter the vulnerable and to provide a sense of stability, and that's not compatible with being vulnerable yourself, a large amount of the time. It helps that men are naturally less anxious and less prone to negative thoughts; it makes us better able to perform this role. All we need is some occasional vulnerability and empathy. Too much and we feel weird. It's a problem that many therapists don't understand this and give men the same therapy they give women. It drives men away from therapy. So what OP is saying is actually very wise, and most men appreciate it.

[@ailia1213]

It'll be really helpful to find a good therapist to talk to if need be. Some of them get you nowhere. 😲

[@BlueDauntless]

@@May04bwuYou must live in a utopia.

[@Zathren]

You had me till you said "everyone should have more therapy." No. The husband and wife should be able to rely on each other. It's why you married one another. To support each other.

[@raechelpalmer6482]

I am appreciative of their openness. I can relate to so much of what they shared because I have experienced so much of what they are talking about but I don't talk about it with anyone. Its nice to hear I'm not alone. Everyone else just pretends or ignores the hard truths of life and relationships.

[@lauriepierce4068]

My husband dealt with intense depression that got worse at such a wonderful time of our lives.. we had our home, income and the precious babies!! He felt so guilty that he felt so sad and detached.

[@ineedmilked]

Okay.. I'm on his side here.. he is dealing with depression and he's explaining how it feels to her the best way he can. When my husband was alive I used to say "I even love your stinky socks" meaning I love everything about you.. including your worst things. My husband used to be very traditionally male and he would have been very proud of himself if he filled the dishwasher as a gift for me. People need to see that she loves him and shut up. 😒 them speaking about postpartum s e x is important.. showing that is a normal conversation is healthy. I agree that showing the world everything you do and say is silly but it is the world they chose and I hope they keep doing what they are doing.

[@and.me_7390]

That‘s not it. Lmao. If your way of dealing with depression is to post an online video like this…you are an ass. Depressed or not. No woman wants to be filmed while her husband tells her that she and the kids are not enough and he is not happy. That is something for a private conversation. „she loves him“ cool. And? You can love somebody and that person can still be awful to you. Some women even love their husband who beats them every day in front of the kids. And if they are so public about their relationship, people will have an opinion

[@BreMue]

Agree its so good to know these are real issues and topics and it's normal but opening the window for others to see and use in their lives is Ultimately at their own detriment :/ noone else has to be this vulnerable with the whole internet

[@alfredlauber3629]

Sorry for your loss🕊

[@questionsfromthebeyond]

The problem is he has an extensive history of oversharing and putting Abby down before this drama even came about; then hid behind that excuse to (again) excuse his behavior.

[@ineedmilked]

@danieller7077 she brought up the conversation! She asked him.. did you feel he should lie? They had already spoken of this beforehand so I can almost guarantee she knew not only the answer but also how deep it would go. He isn't putting her down, people are dramatizing the fact that he doesnt have million dollar writers writing his scripts.. she seems happy with him or she wouldn't still be with him.

[@SaraSmilesandCreates]

“You’re not enough and that’s okay”.. great book. As someone who’s been married almost 17 years, three kids, multiple moves and family in ministry… men struggle.

[@rebeccalavanture9741]

Dear Brett, Thank you for this video for one reason and that is discovering that beautiful song… “give me your worst.” What a lovely song… I needed to hear this as a young newly wed who thought my new husband was only there for the good times and only loved me and would listen to me as long as I “behaved.” I can look back and see this type of love described through this song is exactly what I needed then. Thank you because I don’t watch this couple and I don’t think I would have discovered the song without you.

[@alizackrone2995]

My fiance and i agreed to keep our future kids as offline as possible. I’m very thankful I didn’t have social media until high school, I’d like to give my kids that same gift if I can.

[@caitlineckert353]

The song is not stating my kids and wife are not enough, is is saying that he has everything he could ever dream, yet he cannot be happy which is circling around to the begging of the song saying he thinks he’s depressed

[@Kimberley_Black_White_TV]

I appreciate you making your video without any unnecessary noises, memes, or other distractions. How energizing, and difficult to locate on KZbin these days!

[@TrulyMar23]

Let’s take a moment to appreciate her smooth transitions into promos from EVERY VID! Literally I Never see it coming

[@paigekirk48]

I’ve battled depression my entire life. It’s hard when everything is going your way, and you still aren’t happy. You know you should be, and that you have everything you’ve always wanted, but I think he put it perfectly as it feels like it’s not enough. And even that you aren’t enough, as you know how you should he feeling, but can’t manage to feel that way. I related perfectly to throat song, but understand how those who don’t relate would find the lyrics troublesome. It’s a feeling that is very hard to explain, as you seem ungrateful because you can’t be happy with what you have, even though you want to.

[@obscuraxxxx]

And this is once again proving that the general public has absolutely no idea what depression is outside of dirty bedrooms. Sometimes it looks like a high functioning, successful person who still feels like something is totally off. I've had times that I sat here thinking everyone hated me, that my own mother hated me... if I told her that, she would be so heartbroken because she loves me so much. Depression isn't just people laying around unable to care for themselves, it can be mismatched emotions like this.

[@letsdomath1750]

Sure, it's a spectrum, but it's still important for someone, especially one who is a high-functioning depressed individual as they have more to lose than someone who is already catatonic, to maintain enough awareness to either get help or treatment or to stay in discernment and use discretion with how they express themselves to others. Some people can be extremely understanding, but if you're constantly taking jabs at them while you're depressed rather than finding a tactful way to communicate your needs and emotions, then eventually, you will receive massive backlash.

[@alexsimone804]

My husband says things like this and it is very very heartbreaking. It's impossible to not take it personally. I can't imagine writing a SONG and showing your wife on the INTERNET

[@biggoofybastard]

His depression has nothing to do with her, or the kids.

[@amandahammock5142]

My husband used to say things like this as well. He was very unhappy at work and it caused him to become depressed. I didn’t realize, so I took it personally.

[@cminor4423]

I have a husband who has gone through a deep depression which led to a long battle with alcoholism - and I have gone through similar depression - so I can tell you 100% this man does not think his wife and kids are not enough - he just can’t define his depression. It is so hard to define and wrap your mind around and deal with… women please please especially wives - if your man is willing and able to say these things to you, don’t jump on him right away, listen! Men are not good at dealing with this and need so much support to get through this. It’s such a battle and men have not been previously allowed to be honest about their feelings, they have to be tough and strong all the time.

[@rossbrown1273]

I’m reminded of the Peterson/Walsh conversation recently. “The over concern with the self is indistinguishable from misery.” Influencers are in the business of focusing and promoting themselves. On top of this he is trying to dig deep to write music now which is surely making it worse. It doesn’t even have to mean he is a selfish person, he is just engaging in a life that makes him less grateful and more depressed that he could otherwise be.

[@brendabeans4986]

Totally. No one is 100% happy, 100% of the time. It's about being grateful and thinking about more than just yourself, not trying to analyze every single feeling you have. I once heard a mom say, "I used to struggle with depression, but then I had kids. I don't have time to be depressed haha."

[@taram9409]

Well said 👏

[@aintgotnotltc]

Where can I find this video?

[@oliviaquimby536]

I feel like the internet's reaction to his song about "everything not being enough" points to a larger societal issue where people don't understand that all the milestones in life (graduation, career, marriage, kids) mean NOTHING when we are lacking a certain satisfaction spiritually. I don't know what their relationship with God looks like, but I've found personally that even when my whole life is perfect on the outside, when I am lacking spiritual connection and soulfulness, all the "perfectness" actually makes you feel worse since everyone is telling you that you should just be happy... It's sad that so many people will feel lost throughout their life from this lack of understanding.

[@karenbowen4760]

THIS

[@damilolafavour2282]

👏

[@icurn34]

YES!!! That’s truth.

[@michelleblanz7100]

Yes. True fulfillment can only come from God.

[@jackiegrant5]

❤❤

[@whitneybradshaw1243]

I think they are just an immature, young couple. And postpartum is extremely difficult. I hope they grow in their relationship and also themselves and dont give up. The best thing is looking back over the last 15 years with your spouse and seeing the growth and the beautiful life it has produced!

[@ErBeary]

This makes me so happy that 1.) I had a c-section and 2.), my husband and I have no social media presence. As to his second song you mentioned, I think it's perfectly OK to not feel OK, even if you have everything that you want. I have everything that I ever wanted. The man of my dreams, the daughter I always wanted, I get to stay home with her, etc. etc. Sometimes I still feel down because of my mental health issues. I am an abuse survivor and have some bad days. That's normal. I have to remind myself that life is still good. My husband, while I know loves me more than life, also has down days. That is normal! We are not all perfect 100% of the time.

[@CeraniW09]

Honestly, as someone who has an incredible family and an amazing life but has also dealt with severe depression, I totally understand what he's saying. Your life can be completely perfect and still struggle with severe depression and feel really sad for no reason at all. It's usually a hormone imbalance and it really really sucks because you don't want your family to feel like they aren't enough to make you happy but at the same time, you just don't feel happy. Thankfully, I have overcome that particular trial and feel incredibly happy these days.

[@plantmom3699]

The degrading of his wife, I think, is a reflection of his own insecurities and a symptom of his depression. Getting off social media and finding a new career that's more fulfilling would help so much!

[@adrienne80s]

When was he degrading her?

[@alexisvictoria8282]

@@adrienne80sall the time

[@amandamartin7020]

He will never get offline. He loves it, she doesnt

[@jonmarx7882]

This reminds me of the Black Mirror episode "Nosedive", where people maintain cringeworthy ultra-perfect online personas to maximise their social media popularity and scores.

[@MidwestArtMan]

That sounds like a documantary of the last 10 years of social media.

[@Miaspear31]

I remember when Abby said vlogging was not her passion but being a mother was. Matt then gaslit her and told her it was her pregnancy hormones speaking. It’s pretty sad. At least they stopped showing their child’s face.

[@mica4977]

I used to not think much of online content with/by children but lately with the increase of AI tech & how horrible/dangerous people can be I agree it's best not to share one's kids online if at least until they're old enough to concent to being posted online but even then leave it to them. Dangers aside, who knows how embarrassing it may end up being for them as we don't know what future kids will tease each other over.

[@kianna270]

Yeah I get the feel she wants to just have her family life and he has all these big dreams and expresses a lot of feelings of “missing out” bc they had kids young. Doesn’t give me a good impression

[@dayday3331]

He didn’t gaslit her women are just too sensitive to what he say

[@jamessantichen1928]

​@dayday3331 Nope that's absolutely gaslighting and it's wrong.

[@monimoo88]

It’s not gaslighting when you’re so young and don’t understand your partners emotions. The internet needs to stop accusing strangers of of being narcissistic or gaslighters or toxic when thy don’t know the person. Anyone who has actually spent time watching them knows Matt has devoted his life to being the best father and husband he possibly can and Abby constantly talk about how lucky she is and how grateful her and the babies are to have such a wonderful man take care and love her and the kids.