Why Dating Apps Don't Work For 80% Of Men… | Richard Reeves

[@TheDiaryOfACEOClips]

📺 Watch the full episode here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/lXuUnXmQeqekaLs

[@SimonFreston]

What I would like to know is if the criteria for the 5% who get all the attention is the same as it was in previous generations. I imagine the top 5% in the past were either the strongest physically, the wealthiest or the smartest depending on which period of time. Now it seems to be the prettiest?

[@masterchinese28]

"Behind all of the men who are acting out, there's a lot more men who are checking out." True and sad.

[@rejectionistmanifesto8836]

Soon they will complain about all the men who are sick of it and joining the MGTOW-Movement. But there will always be simpletons tricked into raising other men's kids or being TRAPPED using their own baby to then drain them of everything they have then discarded like trash in DIVORCE. Some men never learn till they get the pain the hard way.

[@rejectionistmanifesto8836]

MG TOW movements continues to rise

[@rejectionistmanifesto8836]

This ReeseTOOL and other propaganda against the movement only helps to strengthen it by exposing new people to what it is. Let him continue with his girly hateful comments.

[@stevendavidson8733]

If you’re a dude in your 20s, looking for a gal in her 20s, but you’re not in a very narrow band of what 20-something chicks consider physically attractive then do not waste a second of your time in the dating apps. Just work on yourself. Earn a skill. Develop an interesting hobby. Build a life you enjoy. You’ll meet a quality woman along the way. On the apps you’ll be invisible.

[@B3N0T4FR4ID]

Even then it’s pointless. It’s just all outer validation and even then if you guys go on dates it’s guaranteed you or them will further delve into the abundance of people at your fingertips wondering if you’re missing out on something better. It’s like fast food. Convenient, brain tingling, insidiously unhealthy and manufactured to keep you coming back. Learn how to cook.

[@jacobwitt2070]

It's all about marketing man. I'm 5'7", fairly fit, and American living in Europe. I'm basically the same height if not slightly shorter than a lot of women here in the country I'm working in right now. It's all about how you market yourself. Dating apps are basically ad space. I found that once I viewed it that way and changed things up accordingly I experienced far more success.

[@giffgaffnettwork5626]

If you're not attracting the opposite sex in your 20s, your chances later in life will be 1%. Dating skills are learnt and honed during that decade. The so called experts are ignorant as he'll. Bartlet knew more than this dude, who has no idea at all how dating works. 😢

[@yashtapase3821]

I'm running 19 I don't have any idea of or I need to get a gal so now I'm learning a skill which future she wife will enjoy seeing doing that plus I'm developing having hobbies connecting towards nature and animals

[@karimtabrizi376]

Im 48 now i met my wife in real life through travel. These apps feel how the world is so confused and always were

[@ajayblack9642]

I have just returned to the online dating world and am already regretting it. Richard Reeves is right - most women are looking for perfection and most men are getting rejected which is a horrible feeling. When you think about how expensive these apps are, I am just wasting my money getting nowhere.

[@Sunburst75]

I created a fake woman's profile on Plenty of Fish. The woman was reasonable looking, nothing special. 1000 views and 300 likes in 24 hours. Men outnumber women on there hugely, that's the real problem.

[@karimtabrizi376]

@@Sunburst75 yes its like a unicorn vs 1000 mules

[@Sunburst75]

@@ajayblack9642 In my experience. most are sh*t, especially the ones that are free. From the paid ones, only Match is worth trying.The rest are a rip off.

[@ADanZLife]

I tested these hookup apps several years ago. I created two fake profiles. One was a normal guy with a normal job, like construction. The other was a stud who traveled a lot and made a lot of money. I would send the exact same message to women on both accounts. The normal guy who get rejected, called a creep, and blocked. The stud would get phone #s and addresses to go smash that very night. Women on these hookup apps are just looking to get pounded by a stud, so unless that's you, stay away.

[@nevergiveupbaby1720]

Reality check hurts huh

[@JewTube001]

After a few months on POF I got zero matches, today I messaged someone, they swore at me then blocked me. It always feels like most of the women on these apps are toxic or just aren't interesting in the bottom 90% of men. I'm not even fat, ugly or poor but these women treat me like a leaper.

[@chamberlain323]

*leper, but point taken.

[@Skelstoolbox]

@@Sunburst75 maybe it's your age group? I'm 40 and tried POF this Spring and couldnt keep up with all the messages! I banged the hottest 3-4 women in the area and got a girlfriend from it. Yes, they were all single moms, as is my girlfriend, but it was hella easy and she is younger and hot still. I deleted the app after a month, but if you take care of yourself as you get older and look semi decent, you can get all the hotties you grew up with once they have a kid or two.. I specialize in the older Gen Z or young millenial single moms. They are really easy to make come as well, something about vaginal childbirth makes sex easier for them to get off I think.

[@SimonFreston]

@@Sunburst75 Dating apps are a total waste of time, especially now you can set your location based on another place. Join a class, get a hobby, you will meet nice girls with a similar interest straight away

[@JT.962]

They are toxic and mean to YOU. Lol not good looking guys. Ive had nothing but positive experiences. Take responsibility for your bad profile

[@Sunburst75]

@@JT.962 Lol, what's your real name? Pinnochio? There is no such thing with online dating as "ONLY positive experiences".

[@WOcaz]

10:25 Men are looking for a woman who is good enough. Women are looking for a man who is the best of the best of the best.

[@KidRipable]

and then saying the best of the best has ´toxic masculine traits´

[@ashleytanner06]

I dont blame them

[@junkahoolik]

and that's the problem right there. nobody likes to be told their partner settled for them because they were good enough (especially by their partner)

[@jphillips8545]

Not true. Just make an effort on a date. Don’t sit there and go on about yourself for 2 hours and make no attempt at getting to know the woman and then expect a second date.

[@simonsharp3319]

I don't know who is feeding you this nonsense but it's low nutrition bullshit. I have single female friends. Yes some have build 'the romantic relationship' into a new kind of religion where they have placed WAY too much on it for a meter mortal human to live up to (though I don't think this problem is exclusive to women) Others are simply looking for a decent functional human who they can get on with and then see what can develop from there. This view that women prize physical looks is backwards to what anyone in the 'pick up' field would tell you - that women respond to emotion, how you make them feel and communicating to them that you have some intelligence.

[@_Brutal_]

Dating apps are highly biased towards the top 10% of men in terms of attractiveness. If you do not fall in to this catergory, it was over before it even began.

[@floshi6519]

Being a man and dating is the most horrible experience you can have.

[@Helfirehydratrans]

And what makes it even more horrible as if you live in a small town because if you use these dating apps, even with the best possible profile, you’re going to only get matches from the major metropolitan cities I live in an area that is a bunch of townships I reduce my search radius to cover all those townships and a small city, and I’m still getting matches from Toronto, Boston, Ottawa, Quebec city Pennsylvania New York, New York state, Washington, California Even though my search radius is only set to 5 to 15 km But it shows me only matches from 60 miles or further Because I refuse to believe there is not one single woman within a 15 km radius of me that does not use tinder. I refuse to believe that that is a statistical impossibility that not a single woman in my entire area has tinder. Or bumble or any other dating app I’m convinced dating apps purposely don’t show you local matches because they have some sort of contract with gas companies to make horny single lonely men spend more money on gas because what moron is spending 3 Hour Driving just for a hook up

[@ownage11445]

Yeah good luck when you graduate from college and didn’t marry your college sweet heart.

[@clairegroenink3362]

For men it's maybe horrible.... but for women it's DANGEROUS!!!

[@Sunburst75]

I made a fake female profile on POF. She was 48 and reasonable looking, but by no means head turning. 1000 views and 300 likes in 24h. These numbers are just INSANE. There must be 5000 men on there for every 100 women.

[@SurfbyShootin]

People have done experiments where they used a profile picture of a gorgeous man whose bio states that he was a Nazi or ex-child predator and he got forgiving replies from even attractive women and then contrasted to the average upstanding male citizens getting nothing.

[@bellavega8048]

Yeah, but what was the quality of those matches though? If its just a bunch of 3/10 males hitting her up then its not a win.

[@AceKite00]

I never understood the allure of dating apps, because it feels like a lot of beating around the bush. It's easier and simpler to just approach a girl and get told yes or no in person. Then again, I don't favor social media in general anyway.

[@JonnyRogers97]

less awkward

[@St4rTr3v1Ut10n]

That's because you don't understand what it was like before we got here. There are comedy bits dedicated to how "desperate" you were if you WEREN'T approaching or meeting women in real life. Now if you meet in real life it seems almost unbelievable. You really had to be ugly or awkward to date online because, just like now, you could curate and pick the best pictures for your profile (this was before photoshop was widely adopted). Now with filters, mass adoption, and no stigma around it anymore, attractive people are able to dictate the market.

[@Bunny11344]

My coworkers met their bfs and husbands off pof and tinder. I also met my bf of 4 years on pof during covid so I don’t knock it. I do agree that men don’t have it as easy on there though.

[@jacobclark2532]

I found it was best online dating to not waste time exchanging texts. If I got a decent feeling early, I pushed to meet for a coffee. You learn so much more in a quick coffee date.

[@Edmond347]

You can’t approach these days. When I do, I get a look of disdain and almost hate. Feminism destroyed women. And dating apps destroyed women’s brains. Even a good looking guy is a throwaway because even an average looking woman has hundreds of messages from men, every one of them potentially better than the decent guy she just met. It’s a high you can’t match in real life. It’s futile.

[@dealswithnormiesallday]

I love how they are talking about how it's so bad for men to go their own way, but then they lay out tons of reasons why men should go their own way. 😂 It's almost like there's one common denominator. 🤔

[@ada443]

I get pretty solid results from dating apps as far as matches go, but the part I feel like nobody really talks about is this new “dating with intention” mindset that a lot of women have now. First 5 minutes of conversation always goes like this, “So what are your goals? How’s your career going? Do you rent or pay a mortgage?”. It’s worse than a job interview and obviously tough to build organic chemistry from there even if we like each other. Makes a lot of guys, myself included, feel like human doings rather than human beings

[@sircefiro]

That's right man, she's probably thinking-depending where you are, I only have to stay with this guy 2 years to get half of that, also now any woman way over rates herself

[@foxylady6901]

Yall will not do well in a traditional society where the questions are even tougher and from her family 😂😂

[@NickDrinksWater]

It went that way for alot of the conversations I had too, it's not enjoyable at all which is why I stopped using those apps awhile ago

[@GreenTeaViewer]

@@foxylady6901 I'd put up with tougher questions from a father in regard to his 21 year old untattooed daughter than I would from a 32 year old career woman with one finger still on her Tinder app 😁

[@roxyglow9670]

​@@foxylady6901hahaha fs. They should be grateful. 😅

[@NickDrinksWater]

The biggest issue is because 80% of the userbase are guys, so the average girl is getting 100 matches and messages while the average guy might get 2 or 3

[@Harold-fc4li]

And those 2 or 3 might be fake or will hardly respond and never reciprocate.

[@Matthew-pq4sy]

The best relationships I've ever had are when the women approached ME first. The last woman who asked me out I've been married to for 20 years . Forget the women. Build a life, learn a skill, get an education, work out. Let them come to you. It works.

[@ohjay7612]

lol. You've been out of the game for 20+ years. it doesnt work that way at all anymore, unless you're in the top 30% or 20% of looks. The notion that someone would ask me out is laughable. Same with many of my friends. And we're all doing well in life.

[@Philipp-pz6yh]

I'm 33 years old and never been asked out by a woman first lol.

[@gankdalfthedank9855]

Yeah this is hysterically out of touch hahah, Chris Williamson is a good example. Been the cover model of multiple female erotic novels, millionaire wildly successful podcaster, former love island contestant and also ran nightclub promotions for years (so huge volume of social interactions). He said on an episode he has been approached like twice his entire life by women.

[@johnkeane1419]

​@@ohjay7612Top 5% of men, nowadays.

[@papito9898]

And wake up at 2 am where you fill like shit because you feel lonely which will actually will happen to you buddy you were lucky you got no advice to give

[@chickadddee]

It’s a shame that men are not feeling needed because really they are needed. The problem with all dating apps is that people get distracted once they are on them. We need to stick to what we want and show some resolve. Women get distracted by all the attention too. In 2024 monogamy is the way to go, but the only way it works is if people are more careful choosing a mate. In 2024 we don’t need to reproduce so much. We’re not a small village anymore. Life partners need to be real friends and work as a team. If we continue to value sex first and values way later, then the chances for ending up single are greater. Never too late though. But we do need to look at our priorities and seek out people with similar goals and values. We have been too superficial and it’s backfiring.

[@andresdr]

Spot on

[@JosiahBlackstock-zn3cf]

I used to use dating apps in the past. I wasn't overly successful. I am an average looking guy with glasses usually. But to be fair my pictures I took and put on a dating app back then were bad so I can't blame women for finding men with model looks more attractive. However I am into self improvement and improving looks and personality so theres that. Sometimes approaching women in public can be a challange too but as long as you're respectful with being told no overtime then you can find a woman eventually with patience, time and effort.

[@keifer7813]

Nah, women dont want ugly or average looking men approaching them

[@jacobwitt2070]

Dating apps are what I consider to be passive marketing. I still participate in social groups, volunteer events, and approach women in public settings depending on the circumstances. Dating apps should not be the sole way you meet women. If you want success on dating apps you need to find a marketing strategy that is authentic to who you are, whilst displaying your strengths, as well as actually good and interesting photos of you. You need to represent yourself in the best way possible to find success.

[@lstoryrecords_]

Great advice

[@rizvaldo7209]

Matched. Talked. Agreed to meet in 5 days time. Day 2 she unmatched me. Thats the pattern.

[@thataintnomoonsucka]

Yep. I actually get tons of matches(I'm outside the US,) but the follow through is still horrible(just as in the US.)

[@bribri1657]

That's a red flag. She should want to meet instantly not in 5 days.

[@thataintnomoonsucka]

@@bribri1657 This. I would advocate not setting dates at all, the flake rate is way to high. Let's go get a drink/coffee/dinner right now.

[@venomrx6442]

If she stops talking to you it's 2 reasons: she found someone better or she found something to disqualify you (it can be the dumbest thing btw)

[@Jeremy-ql1or]

Because over that 5 days she was still scrolling through profiles and inevitably found a better one.

[@travis3430]

The 1st few mins of this clip are absolute garbage. So men are getting a raw deal in life today but then its, if you're not producing a surplus then you're not a man lol Why would you put in 110% effort for others who will basically take it from you & leave you at the side of the road? He wants men's situation to improve just enough to prevent a sort of backlash/revolt.

[@SurfbyShootin]

Definite damage control but they cant stop it, youtube influencers are heavy on the grind and hustle culture mostly because society needs the consent of men to validate the nonsense rules of the game by their participation. The target men arent really financially contributing to the machine much even if they hustle/grind, its their consent alone is what oils the gears. It creates a backdrop for more organized forces to exploit.

[@mata3077]

Exactly. Imagine the outrage if someone would dare to define what "femininity" is :D Yet we, the males, get constantly manipulated by being told what true masculinity is. And it is, of course, serving the woman!

[@NONE2NONE]

@@SurfbyShootinDid you listen to the guest? His son spent 20 hours test driving vehicles and researching financial options for his girlfriend to purchase a vehicle. Somehow the guest considered his son noble for doing so. In reality that was a monumental waste of time and suggests that the boy is not productive in any capacity. Having that much free time on your hands and dedicating it to a woman’s consumerism is exactly why the country is where it’s at today. Raising a pacified boy is how the guest defines manhood 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@Ravencef]

I spent six months on two common dating apps. What I found was that the bio does little to encourage women to look for men who actually have their sh#t together. I reentered the dating scene with a multiple six figure job, own a home and keep it clean, and have a car that is paid for. I'm not obese and I'm in MENSA. I researched what the best way to present myself in the bio was (pictures and intro, etc) and after all that, I got one pitiful lunch date across that entire six months. I honestly think a lot had to do with my height... 5'8"... and the way women select the filters. There is nothing that encourages them to hunt outside the superficial body type characteristics and that is that. About 10-15% of the men get all the hits and the rest of us spin in place. I think other factors exist as well... the app companies want you to keep pouring money in and have no interest in actually matching you to a good woman who is looking for a monogamous relationship.

[@desilorajr2713]

You’re right only about 15-20% of the men are getting the matches that’s bcuz it’s all about attraction on these dating apps. I’m 5’8 myself but I feel like my pictures and the way I presented myself in my profile got me a lot of matches and dates

[@98gmc1500]

Preaching to the choir, I’m 6’2” make 200k plus, own my home, multiple nice vehicles and I remain single, honestly they way women choose men is by qualifying them through a social group, if you don’t have one it’s over for you, better get used to a solitary life, it’s not all bad though.

[@ryantucker2166]

@@98gmc1500 Really? Chad never had to qualify, he just had to exist.

[@tedwojtasik8781]

I am married but I tried dating apps back in 2008 and it was a disaster. Got plenty of dates, all were psycho's & nutters and not a one looked like their profile pic or their description.

[@KRAZEEIZATION]

On a dating app you get to feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway.

[@Jeremy-ql1or]

Nonsense. Wilson the Volleyball was a much more attractive prospect that the women on dating apps.

[@kardosao]

The 1% of men on dating apps get 99% of the women on dating apps. If you do not look like Brad Pitt in his prime you will probably feel very frustated in these apps. The solution is to go out, sign up on a dancing class, yoga, or just go clubbing.

[@JosiahBlackstock-zn3cf]

What man goes to yoga or dancing classes to talk to women? That sounds so desperate. Clubs and bars seem more reasonable.

[@jacobwitt2070]

You're completely wrong but. I'm a 7 in my prime. I'm also the average height of women in the country I'm living abroad in and have plenty of success on dating apps. It's about marketing. You are advertising yourself on these apps. Make your profile something women would actually be interested in staring at for a moment. That first picture is critical. Another thing is learning the game so that when you do get a match, you don't fumble the bag. I can successfully get a new date every 1-2 weeks consistently. It's a game and you have to learn how to play.

[@simonsharp3319]

Nonsense. I'm no brad pit and when I was on them I got enough interest. All I did was sound interesting and learn to write well. It's literally an advert - text and images. You know the thing that gave me the biggest advantage? I had a degree in English literature - not exactly a very 'masculine' trait. People mis understand the skillset required to make dating apps work. Which are writing skills. Improve those skills and your success rate in the internet dating game will improve drastically. Also learning how to write something that sounds funny without also sounding like an arsehole' (This does not apply to the tinder swipe right stuff which I recommend men stay away from) And success at that part has nothing to do with whether you're actually a douchebag in person. You can totally fake it and then have to deal with all the dates you get being disappointed in you. I actually struggled with that part a bit..lol. my writing skills outstripped my personal development due to my background - but it still showed that gaining attention is to do with communicating that you have some intelligence and self awareness. The women that value that will respond to it. Ideally you have actually done some work to become a more functional human being to back up the sales pitch.

[@ALTheFreeMan]

@@JosiahBlackstock-zn3cf In my experience, clubs and bars aren’t places you’ll meet good women, I’d suggest church. Not saying women in church are perfect, but definitely a better starting place.

[@Mattock5656]

@@jacobwitt2070 Lets see your dating app statistics then!!! show us bro

[@tipoomaster]

Just deleted my apps for good and I guess hoping and trying for something to work out in the real world. I'm not swiping on 100 women for 1 of them to match and 1 in 100 of those matches to carry on a conversation and put mutual interest into it. What this generation of women was socialized to think they deserve (top 10% of men appearance wise, top 95th percentile height) while just being average or below would just leave everyone single and alone otherwise.

[@ALTheFreeMan]

There was a time when women had little-to-no say in who they married, and they were usually given away at a young age. These days, there are smart beautiful women who are still single into their 30s and 40s and it’s simply because they haven’t found “the one”. I’m not against women having “freedom and equality”, but we must admit that it’s come with many unintended consequences.

[@JeffCaplan313]

The more educated women become, the less children they have. There's been no indication that our culture has any intention of reversing or slowing this trend. In fact, the goal seems to be to teach little girls, as early as possible, and for as long as possible.

[@sinking1902]

@@ALTheFreeMan and that’s the reason the population is in decline in the west.

[@M_pire97]

I said this exact same thing a few weeks ago. I obviously did not say it in front of women. Almost all my guy friends agreed.

[@ALTheFreeMan]

@TheGkmasta Looks like history is repeating itself, lol.

[@yoyocswpg]

I am an Asian international student in a pretty isolated city in Canada. It is extremely hard to be in a long-term relationship. I have to deal with not only what every other man deals with but also the language and cultural barrier. The worst part is very few women of my ethnicity come to this city, or they are already married. The Canadians around me seem to have a way easier time getting girlfriends cuz they have the social network. I always have this thought that dating and marriage are the most natural thing that is going to happen to me. The reality just completely shattered that thought.

[@NihonKaikan]

Stop whining about that and improve yourself. Being a sadsack is unattractive. If you are positive and have a passion in life, that will attract a lot of women. If you are hunting them, then they must play defence. Be interesting and attractive and they will come to you.

[@giffgaffnettwork5626]

Rishi Sunak, (Ex PM) is a small, skinny Asian, who met and married a hugely rich Indian woman, while studying in the USA! What are you missing?

[@pinkymoon5039]

Join clubs at your college. That's where you can meet more people

[@RunhdeepS.Sandhu]

​@giffgaffnettwork5626 Asian in North America means mongloid person ( Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino etc) and not Indian/ Pakistani or South Asian. Big difference. Alot of Asian ( Chinese Japanese etc) end up with yt men that can't attract yt women I find.

[@pinkymoon5039]

@@RunhdeepS.Sandhu reason is because you live in a white country. White men obviously will be seen as the most desirable. If you lived in India, you would be crazy about indian women because of how the media uplifts and portrays indian women as the prize. People are conditioned by media too when selecting their partners.

[@zackbrown5201]

Also the women you match on dating apps have no intention of dating . They consider it rude if you ask them out 😢😢

[@Cee_Eff]

Yup. Dealt with that way too many times

[@rebbitlover]

@@Cee_Eff Actually women don't want to date because there are lot of creep men in dating apps, who just god know what they will do. So to start dating with men from dating app already dangerous. Personally me afraid, because once I dated and man come out just total Sh*it, even I got afraid meeting him again. So that's a reason I'm not on dating app and also not going to meet with anyone from Online anymore. So hope this answer helps

[@MeandHimPodcast]

Great interview again. Learned some stuff about human history and agreed with dating apps issues. I quit them all owing to all the above - and my mother set me up with a woman whom I’m now in love with. Apparently mum knows best!

[@theoutsider6191]

"Working in a role where it is not clear if you are needed". This is the exact situation in every company, more accutely perhaps in larger ones. Companies basically need everyone to be replaceable, because at some point you will be replaced, either because you decide to leave, are fired, die, or whatever. If you work in large companies, you will definitely feel this, assuming your eyes are open. It took me about 6 months in my first serious profession out of Uni to realise this. Procedures and structures exist in part to ensure the business will go on without you. And don't get me wrong there are the Steve Jobs, and Elon Musks of the World, but they are not something every man can reasonably expect to be. But that should not stop you trying to be the best you can be, and hopefully realising that is enough.

[@HCforLife1]

If you arent 6"2 Chadosaurus - you are invisible and you waste your time on those apps.

[@yeldarleumas1847]

💯👏👍

[@chizle882]

Richard's biased viewpoint reflects the cognitive dissonance and hazardous advice we're all too familiar with hearing from gyno-centric puppets - shaming language, virtue signaling, prescriptivism, and judgment.

[@V1CT0RY]

I’m glad I don’t have to worry about this being married but I will definitely awareness for my son!!!

[@yeldarleumas1847]

Tell your son not to chase a female and not to waste his money buying a female in a bar/club a drink unless she has made it as obvious as the nose on his face that she has a genuine burning physical desire to be with him.

[@Rus-zk6rg]

So true. One of the best summation of modern dating I've seen. At least in the first world. The trick is to look in all the other countries for possibilities.

[@MrBigbangbuzz]

Women are dating and sleeping with same 10 percent ?

[@mario125ww]

Yeah unfortunately women prioritize the same guys. Studies show women would rather share the same alpha guy then have two betas males as bfs

[@SurfbyShootin]

Women will patiently wait their turn, they are even more patient when their options are only men with a receding hairline.

[@Bullet-Tooth-Tony-]

Dating apps should be banned

[@_Brutal_]

Cope harder

[@KidRipable]

I could cry just listen to that man it hurts how sad it has truly been for the average male in history

[@Helfirehydratrans]

Why does everyone forget to mention the fact that distance preference doesn’t do anything because if you live in a small area instead of showing local matches, it’s going to show you matches that are outside of your preference because they get more use their attention because they live in a city so they get more matches but if you live in a small town, you’re going to get nothing but city matches From 60 miles away even though you set your distance preference to 15 km Distance preference is useless If you live in a place that is not a major metropolitan city, don’t bother using dating apps they will never match you with anyone local Even if you’re living in a city of 1.2 million people that’s not enough because you’re gonna get nothing but matches from your state capital city. Like if you live in in Tampa Florida you’re gonna get nothing but matches from Miami Florida If you live in California, you’re gonna get nothing but matches from Los Angeles If you live in Seattle, you’re gonna get nothing but matches from Los Angeles even though Seattle is the capital of Washington You only get matches for major metropolitan cities like Boston and Chicago Miami Toronto, Ottawa, London Even if there are hundreds or thousands of matches in your local area they’re not going to show you any of them because the city people have more user retention because there’s more people matching with city people because there’s more people in the city

[@edwardplumbly7435]

Filters are the worst invention 😅😢

[@ew2645]

I absolutely agree with this. I know someone whose filters are so bad that you’d think she didn’t have a nose.

[@mrxiong2567]

Most women are chasing the top 100% of men on dating apps. I told a friend who was hoping to find a partner using dating apps to not do it.

[@RichardHartl]

Technically that means they're chasing all of them if it's 100%

[@mrxiong2567]

@RichardHartl I meant top 10% men.

[@RichardHartl]

@mrxiong2567 ahhh right, too bad it's not 100% ;)

[@CertifiedAgitator]

Get your passport mates instead of wasting your money on dating apps

[@johnkeane1419]

...or western women.

[@Jp-do9ny]

They're not any better overseas

[@bolotabr12]

The grass is not always greener on the other side

[@thebibleuniverseity4388]

It’s the same everywhere. Trust me.

[@irreversablecontentment4651]

​@@Jp-do9nySays the broke dusty

[@sameold5050]

Like it or not, online dating is basically where it's at these days. It's not going away so deal with it or look at other opportunities that aren't so simple.

[@bdfunke]

3:40 this guy thinks simps are more masculine than. 😅

[@pauldagger8302]

Hahahaha I picked up on that. The bloke hasn’t got a clue. There are plenty of friendless men out here, owning it and happy in their own company.

[@jaredhammon344]

Yeah this guy is a beta that probably gets bossed around by his wife.

[@Classic_Rock_Chick]

I noticed that too and headed straight for the comments to see if someone would confirm what I heard. I how the MGTOW grows. We need masculine men.

[@Smile-u3o]

Can you please post a KZbin video about the ideal female spouse. Please give examples of the female spouses function in a ideal marriage-characteristic's, beauty, and daily responsibilities

[@mata3077]

No one would dare that. I guess you know ;)

[@yourmutualfriend]

Dating apps are bad for everyone but especially men should 100% stay away from them.

[@nickmaddalena985]

Just because it is normal doesn't mean it the best for humans. It was normal to be a servant to the ruling class. Does it mean we should let it be our normal now. No, we should decide what we want as a society what we would like to be normal onstead of going with the flow...

[@Daniel88563]

Unpopular comment here. I have been on dating apps, I find most people I wouldn't even look at in an attractive sense would have their bar set high, yet if it was face to face I don't think they would. It almost has that keyboard warrior mentality. I'm only 3 mins into the video and came straight to the comments. The same women I spoke to on the apps are also still on the apps after I took 2 years out. Men do what I did, get a qualification, more money in a new job and treat yourself. I find myself happier in a brand new car and earning gold money. I can treat my kids well and when I have me time I have a car I love and a job I love. Never let any of these apps grind you down. The same women will be here 4 years later trying to change their bar. You'll be that well developed that you won't care about it then!

[@paulherring587]

So what I got from this is monogamy is what created modern civilization. Polygamy is what held us back hundreds of years.

[@madhavshukla727]

I am finding a partner for myself since last 5+years on dating app, I am always been single, talked to girl from those apps but on female side they get lots of request and male gets to put lot of effort, there should be equality now due to population difference this always exist

[@Bunny11344]

Effort is worth it tho that’s how I found my bf on there and he was consistent

[@amylyall3937]

‘Did you put that all on your profile??’ 😂

[@RobertPaulsim]

get the hell out of dating apps and meet women at social "things". most people are NOT good on cameras / photos.

[@mario125ww]

Not only that but personality gets to shine in person. You meet people who are more compatible naturally

[@Harold-fc4li]

It's hard not to bring the disappointment of past failures into each new encounter

[@Rush-h1m]

I feel sorry for men. Why is there this fight against them? I think there is a misunderstanding between the two genders, and things need to be cleared up for them to understand each other. Both have different mentalities, and the majority of both genders have good intentions and that’s why they act and react differently. Women need to understand this

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

There isn't so much of a misunderstanding as you think, however it was built into the system in the past that men had somewhere to go like sailing expeditions for example. To be quite frank I'm talking about the men who weren't the first born son of the family or for that matter the first son that survived into adulthood . Things like this aren't being done today. Men have nowhere to burn off that energy or have that ability to have an adventurous life when in the past that was normal.

[@JezaLoki]

Women don’t need to understand or do anything. The games rigged in their favour. Why would they want to change that?

[@rebecca4829]

​@@JezaLoki Similarly to how the game was rigged in favor of men and women were ( and in some regard) considered as property. Men need to come up with a healthy solution in this matter.

[@JezaLoki]

@rebecca4829 oh please. You're not living hundreds of years ago or in an Islamic nation so please don't pretend like this is a current problem that needs a "solution".

[@rebecca4829]

@@JezaLoki Ok, well if it doesn't need a solution, then STOP complaining about it. If there is no solution for the problem, then is there really a problem? Use critical thinking.

[@ownage11445]

Meeting a woman nowadays requires a resume and a list of references from her FRIENDS before she even thinks about going out. If you’re not in a friend group good luck finding a woman.

[@FiGMiNT]

dating apps are trash ive had a few terrible experiences ranging from mild catfishing to attempted extortion and other crazy stuff but mostly every female besides one i dated said no hook ups but once i went to their place it was only about sex and then on to the next even if we had common interests..ive been off of them for 2 ish years .

[@CtrlAltDelite]

Mgtow is not a separatist movement.

[@texanplayer7651]

As a guy who created a girl's profile on tinder, I can garantee, 80% of guy's profiles are so bad, it's no wonder they don't get likes. They just don't know how to take pictures, or the lighting is bad, or you can't see their face, and for the ones that do know how to take pictures they mostly take a bathroom mirror selfie to show off their abs and come off as a douche. I learned so much from this, and I suggest you go out there looking for videos of girls trying tinder so that you can get an idea. Things will become much easier once you understand that the problem comes actually from us guys. It's hard to accept because it's easier to accuse the others, but that's how it is.

[@candicefloyd6532]

Very true! I think I’ll if a lot of them just smiled or put on a clean shirt they would get more interest. I went out with a guy recently, and he was so much more handsome in person, but the pictures he posted kind of sucked! They were blurry and weird.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

It's more than just that. Dating apps don't disclose there's a disproportionately higher amount of men using dating apps than there are women. Roughly 30% women 60% men. So a woman that's attractive becomes bombarded with messages that read "hi". Women that aren't attractive still get an occasional message too, but 75% of the messages she will receive are scammers. Then if women say they aren't interested there's a risk the guys she's talking to won't take that no for an answer will harass stalk or say something nasty about how she's actually ugly. Women that are worth dating avoid dating apps and also women that aren't attractive are avoiding dating apps because of the scammers and abuse.

[@linuxman7777]

Most of them are bots.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

@@linuxman7777 bots and scammers

[@Mattock5656]

No no no no no...im tired of blaming everything on a men in our society.. obviously, all of us always need to improve in any facet of life. But to blame this on men's' profiles is disingenuous. Women's standards have become unrealistic society due to outside forces, feminism and this " never settling ideology" when in reality most of us are average and, its okay for average to date average. Women get bombarded with messages in return they become more pickier and picker.. Now they wont settle for anything less than a brad Pitt... Even overweight, unattractive females have unrealistic standards now. Also, dating apps want you to be on their app.. they want us to pay for their services... its against their interests for us to find our significant other.

[@wellsaid7174]

I find dating apps to be very disappointing.

[@Harold-fc4li]

Without an appearance of wealth, most definitely for men.

[@andrewmeidl8424]

Also, those apps business relies on you not forming a meaningful relationship. If you're paying them, they don't want you to stop paying them. It's not personal, it's just business. I feel I'm too introverted, shy, with social anxiety to even break through my own personal barrier. It has an affect on your self esteem at times. "I feel undesired."

[@JB-pk4ck]

at one time you might meet someone who you werent remotely attracted to sexually, Overtime you develop feelings , beging to love them and suddenly , you see them in a different way. the dating apps are toxic I wager that many of those top level men who get the action, the girls they meet suddenly think they are entitled to themost attractive ' top level men'. They dont realize they have been used. I doubt any long term relationship comes out of it. Im glad im passed all this and don;;t care anymore.. ITs toxic because its making decent men feel like crap . Also , dating based purely on looks. You get someone really hot for a hookup. THe novelty wears off. Looks fade and all that will remain is a repugnant personality.Also don't diismiss the opinions or advice from people you consider 'old'. I made that mistake in my 20s.

[@dagtailgroundmaintenance]

I met my now wife on Thai Cupid. We now have a little boy. We are so happy. She is no pushover. Women in the UK have become too masculine

[@Microbex]

Don't waste your money on dating apps unless you are a 8,9 or 10.

[@_Brutal_]

No such thing as a 10/10, being as a perfect face does not exist True 9's are extemrely rare and most people will struggle to spot one in their lifetime Extemely attractive men cap at 8/10 in a real world scenario Top 2% is a 7/10 and above 50-60% of men are a 5/10

[@TStroud-hb2bu]

… I investigate a lot of these topics

[@thelakelot]

I love your channel 😊 I share either content or tell others about your channel every week. I’m obsessed 😂 thanks for sharing all the things!!

[@contracthit9839]

This wannabee CEO is a male bashing feminist. Any passport brothers could destroy him in a debate..

[@nevergiveupbaby1720]

Don’t be ugly

[@Odin50Cal]

I spent 6 years, staying in abject poverty, taking care of my mother in law. Now, I'm injured, have fibromyalgia, severe depression. I want to have children, but ny life is in shambles.

[@foxylady6901]

What could you provide for children in such a state?

[@mata3077]

Having kids and someone who cares about you, regardless your situation is, unfortunately, a female privilege.

[@actvsdei]

"If you're not a doormat for women and society then you're not a real man" 😭

[@matgonzalez6272]

You’re using a system that wants you to pick yes or no based on first impression at a time when vapid surface-level parodies of who people are is super common. How does anyone expect any different from this?

[@luketimothy]

I'm curious to know more about what Richard Reeves says about Polygamy throughout history. If 50% of men had no children and no partner, what was their use/purpose?

[@wendydaniel1110]

Dating apps sets the stage for many promoting illusions and fantasies . The ultimate " catfish" .

[@hectorrodriguez2686]

Do not underestimate the role of wealth or drugs. You are told to look for someone you like, who has a good a good personality. Women will pay attention to wealth, and with so much drug being used, if they can get that from you, then that too. Very few do not aspire to be rescued by a wealthy man.

[@linuxman7777]

Most of the dating apps are just filled with bots. And the incentives are quite bad. Dating apps make money by making sure you keep spending money.

[@TurboFist0]

This hasn't been my experience at all. Sure, there are definitely some actual bots on Tinder, but most of the profiles are real women. I pretty much never see bots on Bumble.

[@maddin7959]

9:10 maybe the conclusion of some men they are not needed is accurate.

[@Oki-t7q]

A common misconception is that women are enticed by rich men, only if the women are working in some way like an escort. Unfortunately the main thing is looks for men

[@DayrusBPB]

People who want to date can't afford to live or date, so they have given up temporarily.

[@Oki-t7q]

hookup culture is the most painful experience for EVERYONE women included. Do good men want to get married anymore and have a kid? I am 24 and want to find a husband, but so many men have not thought about their goals.

[@ChimpPunck]

It's a simple answer to a simple question relationships and dating are not for men they do not benefit men they do not uplift men. A relationship is strictly for the uplifting and benefit of a woman a woman's goals and dreams are solely determined on a relationship when she gets a man willing to give her a life to live off of. I am not speaking about women who are narcissistic or abusive I am strictly speaking about women who are seeking out a man to take care of them and genuinely want to find happiness a relationship is for her benefit in life. A relationship is a stepping stone for women plain and simple

[@jared-kf6fo]

I hate saying it, but you guys have to up your status. I'm no Chad, but I'm decently attractive/fit and girls didn't notice me. It wasn't until I switched jobs and changed my lifestyle that they started noticing me. Attracting women without having to do anything is the key. Now I get to pick 😂

[@Uriahjw]

I'm the last male in my father's line. I have cousins from my father's brother's but they are only average or not good looking so I can see the whole line of my family dying off unless they date and marry who ever will have them. I'm 58, on disability and I'm below average looking, so im no longer viable to any females. I've never married or had children. I support the Mtgow movement because women need to know it's 50/50 and not 100/0. Just because you're there doesn't mean you have done your part.

[@maggiesexiest2275]

It's amazing how people are now embracing meeting people organically again. It's fun to see that people are ditching the dating apps! I remember when I posted a thread about people should start meeting and approaching in real life..man oh man Reddit bandits went in on my comment. But look now?!!.

[@Harold-fc4li]

The odd are even worse IRL. Like finding a needle in a haystack for most. I've been on several dates the past couple months online and there's no way I'd beat that irl.

[@pimziengs2900]

My experience is that I could get some action with dating apps, but gosh I hate hate hate hate (multiple by infinite) the whole process. I rather have a good night by myself and read a book then go through the grind of dating apps even when it produces some result.

[@youtubeyoutube936]

How can there be more single young men than young women unless women are sharing a man?

[@rogermarin1712]

They are sharing the top 1% in height, wealth and looks. Every other man does not exist.

[@Account-br9kc]

shows like Married at first sight indicate that when paired with random people, men are much more picky and less likely to accept random partner than women

[@sircefiro]

You can't have all these single men, without having a lot of single women, if the women is someone's side piece, she's still single

[@investorbro21]

glad someone said it! Nobody wants to acknowledge why theirs so many single men. Social media single handedly ruined dating and women are taught to only go for rich and material goods and characteristics. Women in the 90’s didn have access to men all over the world but now they do and thats that. She sees a luxurious algorithm and hates that regular blue collar men cant provide that life. Women today are delusional and alot of men have woken up and its a beautiful thing. Its ok to acknowledge alot of women today are horrible shallow people.

[@wyganter]

You have a smaller number of men “servicing” a large number of women. And a large number of men getting no action.

[@frankstallone3864]

Nope. Polygamy will become normal.

[@d.mavridopoulos66]

That pattern existed in post 60's generations too. Guys that ticked all the boxes passed the attractive women around. Now with modern media, I guess it must have intensified since you can give yourself greater prominence.

[@brohogany9920]

With conversations like this i struggle to not see two successful men with attractive partners just telling single guys to man up and date who ever is available. Majority of these guys want to be a man who provides value to others. But we want a partner we're attracted to. No one wants to be the loser paired up with a partner they dont like simply because they came in last. Men go their own way because they'd rather support their family and friends that have a loveless marriage

[@jamespatrickbulger9688]

Online daters are a huge bunch of informants.

[@brettconnolly399]

No stakes involved which makes men more bold than they'd be in person which also results in women being inundated with messages and potential dates because men are more hungry and desperate, leading to burnout and choice paralysis. Get off dating apps and grow some balls, men. Honestly been shocked at the success I've been having these days just going out and being bold. Don't always have good nights but at least I'm getting far more action and attention than I ever did just relying completely on dating apps.

[@Ditto463]

It’s exactly the same for us women. I’m in my 50’s and for my cohort it’s full of men who are also past their best and all after young women. Best thing I ever did was come off these sites, accept I’m past it and just get on with life.

[@Ditto463]

@RyanClone I don’t know. I can’t speak for anyone else, male or female. I’m just talking about my experience. The younger men who were attracted to me on these sites, creeped me out tbh, my sense was that they thought I’d be grateful. I wasn’t grateful when I was their actual age and certainly not now 😂

[@Ditto463]

@@kimilsungthefirst6840 entitled? Read my comments dummy, I actually say I’m past it 😂

[@bedadays1763]

If he says there is not much for him to do and she knows it that may repel her

[@RichardHartl]

No not at all a great feeling...

[@Willys_GreyhoundM38]

Online dating is online segregation

[@mrxiong2567]

Can young men with a good mindset even afford a real relationship anymore these days?

[@scotthunt3860]

Yeah the thing is though . The attractive guys on those sites may get more “likes” and “ Matches “ but they still don’t get dates Just as much as the average guys don’t 😂 It’s only hyper successful, attractive men in a Mega small percentage that get anything from those sites ! Which again tells you everything about female nature and the absolute ridiculousness of their unrealistic expectations in these modern times

[@desilorajr2713]

That depends on how good your profile pictures are and how well you are able to communicate with people in general. I would say I’m average maybe above average in looks but the way I presented myself in my profile I had no problem matching with 25-30 matches a week and getting at least a date a week if I had wanted to . What most people do to realize is most men suck at communication . I can’t tell you how many countless times I have here from woman telling me that the guys they would match with didn’t know how to carry a conversation and wouldn’t even ask them out and if they did they expected the woman to plan or pick a date spot.

[@parkjiunited]

Did you just quote David gilmour from Pink Floyd????? Lol

[@MayorSom]

ngl I only go on dating apps to boost my ego. 33/M 😅

[@jamar8401]

You are lying!

[@VirginiaNative1646]

Arguments from “evolutionary psychology” are so bogus. Here he’s arguing that historically the practice was polygyny yet on another podcast he argued that we evolved in such a way that the males would stick around to care for their own offspring. I wonder if he sees the contradiction in that.

[@atomicgeisha]

As a woman i hate dating apps . I met my husband of 24 years on the city bus. Time is weird now. I will admit that the more my husband does for me the more i want to please him.

[@AN-hv1vm]

you hate them? they weren't around 24 years ago

[@Mogamishu]

100 % he is a tall white guy.

[@seat2d]

Thailand.

[@NihonKaikan]

Shocking!!! Better looking people get more attention! FFS

[@TStroud-hb2bu]

Interesting topic.

[@TStroud-hb2bu]

I want to say that I’m absolutely sure many of these dating sites are located “out of the country“. In countries that don’t have regulations! And let’s face it, you want to talk about “sex trafficking “… You’d be stupid not to associated with date sites! Wake up!

[@judew939]

Dating= sex??? No