ASSASSIN'S CREED: REVELATIONS (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation takes up the hidden blade, hood and faffing about again.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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[@MrGameadd1ct]

I remember when the idea of seeing Desmond become the greatest assassin was actually there until the series went full crazy

[@thestrangah9690]

MrGameadd1ct ah those were the days lmao

[@CharlieBrown20XD6]

Hey they could go 180 crazy and bring him back lol

[@omegasrevenge]

I would love to play a really old assassin who is now insanely good at what he does but too old to parkour, climb buildings or fight armies. Going back to having to strategically plan the killing of a target instead of being an unstoppable juggernaut.

[@hector-m-carrillo]

codafett that sounds like thief No parkour and you have an objective somewhere while being stealthy Sounds doable

[@b3rz3rk3r9]

That almost sounds like the setup to a new AC where Ubisoft also gives you a partner

[@legendnodensetsu8423]

Sounds a bit like some of the Altair missions in Revelations tbh

[@ahmednasser8214]

Playing an assassin who can't parkour, climb high buildings, or fight the enemy head on, and has to strategically figure out how to kill the target without causing a fuss? Have you ever heard of Hitman?

[@dabkatz8406]

@@ahmednasser8214 Agent 47 can definitely fight the enemy head on: the game just rewards you less for it

[@SilverSpades100]

"Ezio Audacity da Refrigerator" you get a star

[@TheWittenburger]

And a crayon. And a sticker. And maybe a cookie.

[@malchir4036]

And my axe!

[@acoin1116]

And some cake. And Belgium.

[@tale0fash205]

I think I'm one of about 3 people who liked ACR. I loved the fact Ezio had grown as a character to a older man who was much wiser. The game also had his love interest be someone older too rather than just pair him up with a 20-something. The game was becoming more mature along with its protagonist. Also the bomb crafting was fun and added a personal touch to your weapons. The culture of Constantinople as it was known was a brilliant idea and exploring little known arabic culture rather than the colonies or feudal Japan that everyone is so desperate to see (not that it wouldn't be a sweet idea mind). And the hook blade was a interesting little toy with a level of satisfaction that you could catch that ledge before you fell or hand from a beam. The plot was not as high-stakes but it felt like it was Ezio's final act as an Assassin putting him to rest gracefully. And that made the story itself much less of a rush around and a more enjoyable open-world experience that truly felt at your pace. Finally Constantinople was beautiful, designed very well and it looked cohesive in its feel, people, sky and general atmosphere. I enjoyed it. I can understand why people might not. But I feel it is worth a try from people new to the series. Especially at its now much reduced price.

[@watchALLthethings]

There goes Yahtzee again. A special hook blade to make you climb an extra foot higher, instead of 2 feet, wait for the next sequel. Assassin's Creed Syndicate comes along...

[@Phanthief95]

Ezio Audacity da Refrigerator. Now I can't stop calling Ezio that! 😂😂😂😂

[@user-ux4gu2lh8c]

i thought the hookblade was useless but when i played through the game again and did the whole tap hold maneuver and stuff with it it actually becomes super badass

[@tralalabroman]

Oh my god! Finally, somebody says it! Desmond looks just like Adam Sandler!

[@noisykestrel]

For some reason the first person sections were my favourite parts of the game, as were the present day parts of the last two games.

[@EddJones25]

I liked them

[@tpfang56]

I just finished AC: Revelations, and I admit, I'm kind of conflicted. I thought the plot was serviceable, but rather weak and quite short. But on the other hand, I've been playing AC games for literally the last 4 months (from AC1 to Revelations), so the story being short was actually kind of merciful. BUT Istanbul is probably the best city I've been in so far (it's beautiful and diverse), and the gameplay mechanics and side missions are way more fun than they've ever been so far. I mean yeah, the plot is kind of meh, but I had more fun actually playing and exploring this game than I did playing Brotherhood, even though Brotherhood had stronger writing. Idk, I guess it puts Brotherhood and Revelations almost on the same level. If only Brotherhood and Revelations were combined together somehow, it might've made a game superior to AC2, which still has the best overall plot/writing imo. Well, I'm totally done with Assassin's Creed games for now. I'll pick up AC3 and Black Flag eventually, but probably not until next year. I need some distance from the AC games after playing one after the other for a few months straight. I probably won't ever touch Rogue and Unity though, and I'm on the fence about Syndicate.

[@TheShicksinator]

+tpfang56 Black Flag and Revelations are tied as my favorite worlds in the series. Rogue is supposed to be as good as AC4, so if you like 4 don't skip on it. Unity is pretty good gameplay wise, but the modern day story is literally 5 minutes long. Syndicate is great both gameplay and story wise, definitely don't skip it.

[@jroldo8353]

I admit I was on the train back when this game was new, the best part was where he killed that guy who was secretly a good guy, and his final words were 'i was on your side'. They didn't do anything with it though, its the kind of thing that could have livened up AC2 and ACB, but they were ideas locked away and used at this latch ditch effort of a game for profit.

[@MegamanXfan21xx]

Rogue was great. It was basically AC4 minus those awful tailing and eavesdropping missions. Unity can be skipped, since nothing happens in the modern day story and it's not that good. Syndicate is worth picking up cheap.

[@tpfang56]

Ah... thank you for your input, but it's too late. I bought Assassin's Creed: Americas Collection cheap for my PS3, so I'll be playing up to Rogue eventually. Well, I'll try not to bother with the side quests and get through the story missions as quick as possible so that I can at least experience the game.

[@jesusflower8519]

Thank god someone else pointed out the Adam Sandler thing. Was driving me up the damn wall.

[@ethanprice6590]

I really love watching all of the zero punctuation videos for a series in order because you can see the annoyance grow with the AssCreed games and the Stockholm Syndrome kick in with the soulsbourne series.

[@zanseinofan01]

Ezio Audacity the Refridgirator

[@sixshooter500]

You watch these in a playlist, you'll hear Yahtzee progressively get madder, have a happy moment with Black Flag, and then get madder and madder.

[@slowmercy69]

Because Black Flag is not an AC game

[@arty3090]

4:52 My favorite Yahtzee quote of all time.

[@1983Corolla]

This is one of the only AAA-ish Games that are at the forefront mostly that i'v noticed Yahtzee like. The lore is fantastic too learn about and all the Assassins across the world and all that's really fucking interesting, mostly why it's my favorite series but it's getting slowly bogged down by small things that could easily be corrected with an engine revamp. Ubisofts a great company and they make very different games but they sometimes just choose very odd things too add in that are pretty interesting but kinda end up being sticks in the mud.

[@theheavenlyfb4071]

i like how it took a French company till 2014 too make a assassins creed set in France XD

[@Gophilio4567]

Actually, French Canadian.

[@theheavenlyfb4071]

Gordonkris still makes too much sense to me...but I don't make sense anyway XD

[@DakotaScott42]

SurvivalSlayers X Well, seeing as how French Canadians don't like being compared to France, it makes complete sense that it would take so long for them to finally make a game set in France

[@theheavenlyfb4071]

DakotaScott42 but still there part french so it makes sense in my mind XD also going by this its a even further disgrace because they still haven't made an AC game based in Canada.

[@Gophilio4567]

DakotaScott42 I don't we, people from Québec, mind french people because of that. Well, for me at least. Maybe other people see things differently.

[@nerdatheart94]

I'm starting memory sequence 4 in this game... and I'm bored as hell. I was obsessed with the previous games, and played them for far too many hours a day for days on end. But this is a chore to get through. I hope the later games get better. Assassin's Creed II is best so far. Absolute perfection. Except the fucking minstrels.

[@nerdatheart94]

***** Aw... why do they ruin the best series? This series, the Kingdom Hearts series.... all my favorites get destroyed by their creators.

[@zabaoth]

***** This. I've binge played every AC game, so I guess I'm kind of a fanboy, and I cannot fucking stand 3. It's a mixture of a very boring time piece and the less charismatic protagonist in the series. Plus, they pull a MGS2 at the start giving us a badass, and then swap us to that twat to make the contrast even more fucking clear. Seriously. Fuck Connor.

[@Glofishes]

nerdatheart94 The stupid thing to do is to play revelations before AC2.. I did that and had no idea what is going on.

[@nerdatheart94]

Oh, yeah. Don't do that. I'm playing Assassin's Creed 3 now, and I'm really enjoying it.

[@Glofishes]

nerdatheart94 Well Revelations would be ... better if it focused on desmond's past only in third person not abstractly... that might have saved the fans desires to grate him a cheese shredder.

[@legendnodensetsu8423]

The only reason people do the den defense is 1) the game forces you at least once, 2) you want altair's sword, maybe

[@ToaAntan]

People are gonna call me bullshit for saying this but I love Black Flag the most. No not because better graphics, it's because the machanics of combat are more fun, you can freely battle with other ships, you can actually counter by BLOCKING rather than dodging thanks to good sword mechanics and I never feel like I'm frantically pushing a button hoping Edward will do as I say, I simply smirk at an attacking group of guards as I hit the counter button then the attack button and watch the blood fly, which is what I like about Assassin's Creed, the kills. They're satisfying as fuck.

[@NoobsDeSroobs]

Yes, but that is not an ASSASSIN game, but a naval warframe game.

[@MrRemorseless]

Shouldn't it be zom-plars and plant-sassins?

[@aarynminyard6446]

I love this game. I got bored of the plot really early on but I just powered through to the bit where the sandbox opens up and I never looked back. I've logged maybe 500 hours into this game and literally I've done is run around the sandbox as Ezio, buying weapons, killing people and managing my assassin's and businesses. It's so much fun

[@aarynminyard6446]

Also sometimes I feel like the whole future plot thing kinda bogs the game down. I just think the series could've been better if it had just been about a secret order of assassins running around the steets and rooftops of a exotic city. Also they kill a lot of people in between parkour sessions

[@ianism3]

@@Vic2point0 yeah agreed, it's my favourite, even though I know it's got too much extraneous stuff. I love it for the setting. Renaissance Constantinople was brilliant

[@nis5e]

04:23 *"The cynic is an isolationist beast, but can always recognize one of their own."*

[@kingkong381]

AC1: Fun new game and franchise. AC2: The same as above but with some cool new gadgets and a character that's vaguely interesting. ACB: What? Ezio again? OK, fine! ACR: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS MUTHAFUCKIN' ASSASSIN IN MY MUTHAFUCKIN' GAMES! (But at least they've made Altair vaguely interesting now). AC3: At least it's not Ezio. (And hey I'm actually enjoying the Desmond sections now! But then they kill him...). AC4BF: Took the best part of AC3 and expanded it? Check. New (to the series) way of aiming ranged weapons? Check. No Ezio? Check. No Altair? Check. A more interesting open world than AC3? Check. ... Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner.

[@CboTheSecond]

and Liberation?

[@kingkong381]

Jason Brody Not played it. My little brother has. He seemed to enjoy it and I have to say that an Assassin that joins the Templars is a refreshing change (seeing as I sympathise with the Templars more than the Assassins).

[@Alteonify]

But Ezio is a great character. And why do you sympathize with the people who want to eat your free will?

[@kingkong381]

Alteonify Ezio was a refreshing change from Altair's blandness but as a character he was the archetype of the "Dashing Rogue" (at least to begin with, but he was just a slightly more relateable Altair by ACB). I sympathise with the Templars because (honestly) I agree with them wholeheartedly. The Assassins are too naive and just trust that people are good at heart. You just have to look at history and the modern world to know that that kind of belief isn't just a mistake it's downright stupid. I was convinced by the Templars back in AC1. Still my opinion of who the real good guys of AC are doesn't really matter as it's just a story anyway.

[@Alteonify]

kingkong381 If man is evil, then man shouldn't control man.

[@stevie_ily]

"Ezio Audacity the Refrigerator"

[@DariusPhoon]

HAHAHAHAHA just died at 'Ezio audacity the refrigerator'

[@RUSSxT]

I lost it at "fucking Christmas has come early"

[@dmdizzy]

Honestly, it upset me playing Revelations when I realised I missed a ton of interesting-sounding quests because the assassin recruitment and training (and the UI in general) were just..super uninviting. I loved that part of Brotherhood, I thought it was a lovely gameplay element, what have you done?

[@informalfallacy9780]

I'd like to see an Assassin's Creed game taking place in a future Blade Runner-esq setting, and the twist is that the person who's memories is being scanned was actually the person in the animus all along, having been sent back in time and gotten a face-change as part of a scifi assassination mission to prevent the end of the world hundreds of years before it happens.

[@huntakilla1234]

Ezio audacity the refrigerator, hahahaha I lost it there

[@pointblank923]

Ezio Audacity the Refrigerator kills me every time

[@KristianKumpula]

2:40 That is exactly what I had to a very large number of times while playing AC 1

[@linuxblacksarena]

Assassin's Creed Embers IS Assassin's Creed 2.875, since Ezio's an old goat in that one.

[@TLWoods97]

I like how everyone mocking Assassin's Creed, probably has their own favorite series doing the same thing, sequel after sequel

[@sirfragalot92]

Whenever I see that "I Seeeee Yooooou" thing I can't help but thing of The Hidden calling out taunting an Assassin. Crossover! :P

[@iiGingiey]

The Beginning is perfect if your watching this before Assassins Creed: Syndicate comes out!.

[@varnes454]

Thumbtack in a mcchicken sandwich i just died laughing at that part

[@erurevir]

theres nothing stopping him from making his own channel. lots of machinima directors have their own youtube channel aswell as giving it to machinima

[@hwate8]

I agree that the Tower Defense element was only really worth playing once to experience it, then going back to the side-missions that ALREADY existed, but if there's one thing I'll give Revelations, instead of going from 'loud gun to silent crossbow to untraceable dart' in one game, it's that the bombs make everything SO much more FUN, and CYOA-esque. Like GTA, but with less futuristic lasers and rapid-fire rocket launchers. And FUCK that one tank mission, I can't imagine ANY way to get the bonus objective WITHOUT blind luck.

[@BlackLegion12621]

Years later, and we're still not at that party.

[@nielsdanielbuch9022]

well one thing revelations has given to me is every time im formatting my pc im humming the scheduled for deletion music from revelations and picturing all the souls in my pc being purged in horrific ways

[@snakelord2]

"Fucking Christmas has come early" lmao

[@bigbadactor5470]

I believe we have found the exact moment Yahtzee began to dislike the Assassin's Creed games, which is incidentally when a lot of people (myself included) started to get a bit put off by the yearly copy-pasted sequels.

[@TheUltimateEbil]

AC 2.875: If at first you dont succeed, Faff, Faff and Faff again

[@pcpelizzaro]

Ever since the first game, I hoped for a different gameplay format for AC, that expands and goes more in depth on the original. Instead of being a killing machine, the assassin should be more strategic and plan his kills, gathering information and making preparations for them. Just like the first game, but with the player actually deciding his course of action on the assassination, not only doing sidequests to make it easier to follow what the game tells you to do. I just started playing this game in specific. By the starting levels, I could tell this was trying to be a darker installment in the franchise. I mean, Ezio is old, the assassin's lair thing has been destroyed. And being back to an arabic town just makes the original AC feeling hit harder. When the bomb crafting system was introduced, I was sure this was the perfect oportunity to make the game like I said earlier. There's even room to make the plot darker, with Ezio being weak and tempted to work with the templars. You know, actually showing us both sides of the conflict. But I'm not quite sure that would be a good idea. It feels like they tried to make you be more stealthy at times (on the level where you get the first key, so far), but it just made me realize that this game about assassins doesn't have a proper stealth system. I mean, there's not even a crouch button, for fuck's sake. Just a thought that I had and wanted to share. Any opinions?

[@TheOrangeType]

He has a contract with the escapist. I doubt they would let him do it on his own channel (These videos are on the escapists website anyway so just go there every Wednesday for the new episodes).

[@QooperG28]

Just for the record the scene at 5:06 made me laugh so hard that I passed out for like 20 seconds.

[@FINALSTANDFOLEYOFFICIAL]

i finally get the faff and the world faff's with you joke, god that took a while

[@MrFenr1z]

if you have facebook, you can follow zero punctuation on the escapist and get updates just from zero punctuation. you could also read his weekly column, extra punctuation on the escapist, it's quite good though.

[@Nightmare096]

1:18 Hey! A virtual boy!

[@LilianOrchard]

It's Desmond

[@handlesonyoutubearestupid]

"Faf and the world fafs with you"

[@AirVent542]

I fucking lost it at "Ezio Audacity the Refridgerator"

[@babypolerpopster]

I liked 47, especially the change of pace and assassination styles. Love the break from parkour.

[@Dreadnought_Toaster]

My friends and I have decreed that the intro of ZP is to be called the epic rock intro

[@MythicDawn131]

Ezio Audacity the Refrigerator LOL

[@catz135]

I fucking lost it when he went on that rant "Back in my day! we used strippers to distract guards!"

[@O135K]

there's this website called The Escapist where Yahtzees videos can be found. I have already seen future videos there

[@mityakiselev]

I loved the athmosphere, though. There was a distinct... I dunno... warm and eastern feel about it. All the music and the guys saying the same fucking voiceline in Turkish really make you feel like you're in a unique place. It's like Ass Creed 4's sea shanties. When they start singing for the first time, you get this awesome feeling of adventure and stuff. Let's be fair, the one thing Uberdriversoft can do extremely well is athmosphere and ambience

[@kuyxyz]

3:38 Yahtzee predicted the slingshot in AC: Syndicate, fuck me.

[@omegasrevenge]

Holy hot damn.

[@FireFox666100]

Yes he does. he uploaded a new video yesterday

[@TheKrigeron]

0:47 How Subtle xD

[@Rohlix]

5:03 I laughed so fucking hard... :D

[@discokossan]

0:47 forever alone

[@Snyphen356]

the mcChicken part had me cracking up, good one

[@SwirlyTwirl]

I swear that's the only replay everyone's giving me these days.

[@constantlypositive]

Can't unsee this...

[@182crazyking]

I liked how they tied the feudal Japan into modern Japan in 76. MUCH better than the shit they pulled in 22 where they just kinda went to Japan sometimes.

[@Rajyrr]

This game made me question my sanity. The previous three games seemed great. Then this came out, and I sort of just stopped playing it a short way in. I could not, for the life of me, pick it back up to play again. Later, I discovered all my buddies had the same reaction to it. So yes, in fact, Revelations did suck. Although I'm probably insane for entirely different reasons.

[@bgw316]

+Joseph MacKenzie Revelations was easily the most fatigue wrought game in the series. III was tiresome but was different. Revelations on the other hand was just so... expected I suppose? For whatever reason it *felt* like you were replaying it, despite being a new game. Probably because it did bugger all to the gameplay besides a few gimmicks.

[@bgw316]

Vic 2.0 The game was a cash in mate. None of those improvements made me gawk at the game. Being implemented is nice, and the game is nice too don't get me wrong. The 'improvement' I remembered the most was when people complained about the ease of combat by adding the janissaries guard type, which completely killed my combat flow. The Assassin System was always half assed and being quarter better assed doesn't mean much, and don't get me started on the hookblade, cause the bloody hookblade is... Pretty sweet honestly, but considering it was only used in the one game and being completely discarded was a shame. The plot may have been good, but I don't recall much from it asides from the intro and the ending, mainly because the pacing in Constantinople was so tiresome considering it was much like Rome with needless collectibles their for the sake of collecting. The AC Den vs Zombies thing I found alright actually. Grossly underdone but serviceable. I already mentioned III and mistakenly made it seem like I liked it more. I'll reiterate. III was dreadful in an endearing way, because I thought I was having fun. Revelations was just so-so compared to the other AC's before it, since it was more an obligation to finish the character arcs for Altair and Ezio than the passion project ACII was and to a less extent Brotherhood.

[@MrBlocparty1994]

cracked up at "local crumpet" haha :P

[@dewbs815]

I never used the bombs except when it made me as part of a story mission.

[@partydude14212]

He does have his own channel. Its "yahtzee something or other" is his name and he does LP's of point and click adventures!

[@tidus757]

He's right about the tower defense. I beat the game without having to ever do it again since the tutorial. But I want to know how he really felt about the ending, because I feel like it really did tie everything together perfectly before AC3 hits in a couple months.

[@SchazmenRassir]

For all it's problems, this game does have the most powerful moment I've seen in them so far. Mind you, I haven't finished Black Flag yet, or played any after that, but still.

[@Jaceblue04]

The AC series has one thing that I'm positive of: they always make Desmond's ancestors' full names as hard to pronounce as physically possible.

[@Arbron]

4:20 - "Not having to do it is considered a reward." I wonder if at the time Yahtzee knew he was predicting the exact model that microtransactions would later come to embody. (Only it's not so much a reward as something you're expected to pay for. Either way, "not playing the game" is considered a bonus.)

[@Ejay669]

He works for escapist and has done for years. He writes as well as these videos.

[@TysonRex37]

Whule that is a fine idea you do know you can just go to the escapist website for about 6 1/2 months of reviews and new episodes around noon every sunday.

[@Bovver_Boy]

it's uploaded on the website

[@SkyheadStudio]

Faff and the world faffs with you.... That kills me every time....

[@flikcbigg]

Holy shit it's Rules Boss at 2:19

[@2KXMKR]

You can play as Altair in Revelations but I think they're side missions, like the assassin tombs in the previous games.

[@Montesama314]

Played the first Assassin's Creed a year or so ago, and not only was I bored out of my mind by the second mission, I too kept going, "Is that Adam f*cking Sandler?"

[@knives4cash]

I would totally pay for a game where you play as Lieutenant Columbo.

[@jimmycrackfox4699]

Realy would be good to see a top 5 or 10 of your all time favourate stealth games, as your always talking about things such as the theif series

[@LordJusticar]

I knew I should've completed Brotherhood before watching this...but damn it, the temptation was too great! Worth it, though.

[@Tabledar]

I was eating a mouthful of pasta when I heard "Surgically strike like a thumbtack in a McChicken sandwich." I kid you the fuck not, I was pulling a fifth of the angel hair pasta in my mouth out of my nose because it sure as fuck wasn't going down my throat. Imagine taking a rubber barbecue baster and violently jamming it into the grill of your car. The baster was the noodles, the jamming was my laughter, and the grill was my fucking nose flaps.

[@DaemonPrimarch]

I didn't forget about it, I just preferred the Feudal Japan setting. Hence my bringing that one up.

[@Handmadenerd]

after he mentioned the thumbtack in the McChicken, I've become more cautious of my food.

[@dra900nka1n]

Was future Desmond reliving the memories of an ancester through a Visual Boy at 1:18?

[@AlexandrZaytsevet]

Christ, Cassie was a badass. Anyone who can use a knife like that deserves a medal. Trishka was cool, too. But she was just there for fan service after 23.

[@The2econd3vil3xes]

Am I the only one who liked this game? It was the last Assassin's Creed whose protagonist was actually likeable (apart from Edward because he's a fucking pirate) and whose story had any connectivity to the rest of the games. Ezio finally turned into something other than an arrogant Italian teenager, while Connor was an absolutely unrelatable reason to set the game in Revolutionary America, and Edward was only an Assassin because he stole a Templar's clothes and because they had to connect it to III somehow.

[@nisnast]

Let's not forget about the his lackey,Freedy Kruger.

[@doctoroxo]

I have always said that the Assassin's Creed games were "Adam Sandler's Wild DMT Trip".

[@donofdeaths]

I love the They Might Be Giants references. I hope I die before I get old, I see what you did there

[@SkylordGuthix]

This is my generation baby♪

[@GarrettTBuse]

They make most of their money from their website, which is were i watch most of the new episodes cause they come out earlier than on youtube.

[@Justin1976]

Don't forget Bioshock he liked that one too.

[@mysterymastermind175]

Yahtzee should do all the AC subtitles

[@LeoSeasoning]

I just love how in the comments everyone tries to sound like Yahtzee...

[@MrKuroRyuu]

Ezio became ridiculously overpowered in Revelations. You don't even have to use stealth since you can murder everything with your almighty counter sword/dagged/blade/whatever. You don't even need blade weapons, just use your fists, disarm the first bloke and then proceed to murder his pals with your newly aquired metal stick of doom. And now you can wipe out entire squads of enemies with a single bomb. I'm starting to feel bad for the templars.