TWISTED METAL (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Twisted Metal.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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[@Mr_T_Badger]

This becomes a tad hilarious in hindsight now that Yahtzee has a spawnling of his own now. 😋

[@Ward1706]

And can drive unsupervised.

[@Kemonokami]

"Like any driving game that wasn't designed by the rear half of a horse?" Because it's _plot-driven._ :3

[@FurfaggingIntensifies]

fukken saved

[@drakep.5857]

That is one of the most best puns I've heard in a while.

[@alexbaker1569]

Fucking genius

[@salvadorelastname9095]

I'm surprised you didn't get some hate for this joke given it's an MLP thing, but I found it hilarious anyway-

[@bob123456789267]

"Hugging a tarantula-hedgehog" Ah so it wasn't just me that had that nightmare. Thank god for that.

[@volcryndarkstar]

Lewis W What do you mean thank God for that? That means the tarantula-hedgehog is real and it can enter dreams like Freddy Krueger.

[@merrittanimation7721]

Whelp, there goes my sleep schedule.

[@naturegirl1999]

Sure it enters but based on the fact that Yahtzee and you survived, it just visits dreams, not harms the dreamers. Seems more like Sponebob in that one episode where he finds himself in people’s dreams

[@misterbadguy7325]

Spoiler warning: I thought he was joking about the endings until I looked it up and I found that one character's wish was "to be on the world's largest runway."

[@cybertramon0012]

That one is so easy to misuse. The one I remember was of these two dumb racers who wished to fly, Calypso said their wish was granted, and they both immediately jumped off the building before he could hand them their first class tickets. Even Calypso seemed shocked by it.

[@TheBrianJ]

My big problem with Twisted Metal 2012 is the story. TM has always prided itself on a diverse cast of characters with disturbing backstories, and yet this game only served up three: Sweet Tooth, Dollface, and Mr. Grimm. They had the disturbing backstory down, but just three seems like a waste.

[@FatherTime89]

+TheBrianJ Originally the plan was that each character had 3 different endings, a different ending for each difficulty setting. That got scrapped but you can still find unfinished cuts those endings on youtube without the green screen effects added in.

[@ezrablock3218]

+TheBrianJ It would have been cool to see more stories, but I think they did well with the small amount.

[@FatherTime89]

***** The story in Twisted Metal Black was really good though and that set the high bar.

[@reapersdullahan8131]

+FatherTime89 I kind of agree with you there. I mean they dropped the ball big time with this 2012 one, going to say the best twisted metal games were perhaps 2, 3, and black.

[@NefariousDreary]

I think 5 stories would have sufficed

[@todddamrath3977]

Remember everyone: Calypso =/= Satan Calypso = Dude smart enough to trick Satan out of his dark cosmic power and make him fight in his motorized death tournament for laughs. Minion = Satan, a very, very, very, stupid and pissed off Satan who lost his powers to A FUCKING MORTAL.

[@dannycarr1779]

dude....how did i forget that! it makes so much sense

[@FatherTime89]

I thought Minion was just a mortal, not The Satan.

[@todddamrath3977]

Nope. Minion is flat-out Satan.

[@Chud_Bud_Supreme]

Todd Damrath I thought Minion was just a lesser demon who held the tournaments in hell before Calypso tricked him.

[@leocooper7101]

Todd Damrath Any mortal + Has all of Satans powers = Satan... So Calypso IS satan.

[@kingofsting19]

This game had my favorite gameplay of any Twisted Metal game, as well as better variety of gameplay modes and the best soundtrack yet. Unfortunately, the number of playable characters is abysmal for a Twisted Metal game, and I lost track of how many times I rage quit that race during Mr. Grimm's story. I mean, there's a reason that every racing game ever has made it so that it's perfectly clear the path you need to take and makes it so that one wrong turn will have you completely lost.

[@21Walls]

"Classic Twisted Metal Controls?" I don't at all recall needing to double tap brake to reverse in the originals...

[@aelechko]

You did unless you just held it until you stopped and kept holding until you reversed

[@Waspinator1998]

Anyone else find it funny that Calypso borrows his name from a female character in the Odyssey?

[@PlanetSulfur]

NNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!

[@lemmythetrash-goblin8291]

Waspinator1998 I do, mostly because there are so many similarities between demonic guy, who founds car races and nymph.

[@drwhygiveacrap9682]

Calypso is also soothing relaxing Jamaican music lol XD

[@lemmythetrash-goblin8291]

Huh. Never knew that. Well more you know...

[@sailoritaly]

+Brock Butler Critic!!!

[@l0stndamned]

Tarantula-hedgehogs sound like so much fun.

[@KoRnSlipFold]

This was the biggest gaming let down for me because I had such high hopes that it would be super popular and all. Too bad everything that could go wrong with the multiplayer went wrong and the few hardcore fans like myself were left pissed off and wanting to just give up.

[@jessespot12]

Wait wait wait, the regular multiplayer? Orrr did they make an online multiplayer to go with it?

[@KoRnSlipFold]

They had an online version for sure. It was pretty much down for the first couple weeks and even after that it was incredibly hard to get in a match. Small error. Awful results.

[@BackwardsAlphabet]

wait how would yatzee know that the other games did it better didnt he say he never played them. 4:31

[@jessespot12]

Simply because maybe this game was utter bull? Like, really?

[@NefariousDreary]

+jessespot12 lol that doesn't work. plus, this one is awesome

[@speggta645]

Adam Jenkins no

[@grimreaper9250]

Adam Jenkins he watched videos,in his spare time probably.

[@RarefoilB]

He said "IF the previous installments did the same but generally better." IF.

[@NearEDGE]

Divine Comedy references? Yahtzee, I misjudged you.

[@NearEDGE]

When gives Calypso's introduction

[@digitaldeathsquid3448]

If it were a Stanley Kubrick ferris wheel, it would go round and round with "Greased Lightning" playing in the background while a large metal thing (thought to be the camera) is in fact a FLAMETHROWER.

[@CM421]

*in a deep, distorted voice* enjoy this small victory, it won't last long... we are coming... and when we rise... we shall take our place as lead fandom... silence MUST fall...

[@r_r_rye2441]

I don't know why I love that Stanley Kubrick joke so much.

[@robotsnake9374]

4:49 That looks like something the YGOTAS Marik would say.

[@hwate8]

3:12 I'm genuinely surprised to hear a Zach Snyder Re-Cut joke from 2012. Was this a _thing_ back then too?

[@clanofclams2720]

He was always a bad director

[@hwate8]

@@clanofclams2720 Not what I meant. The 're-cut' thing was basically just an excuse to ship the same movie twice, was it actually used as long as a decade ago?

[@clanofclams2720]

@@hwate8 that wasn't really the context with which the term re-cut was used in this case. Re-edited would be just as applicable a term.

[@hwate8]

@@clanofclams2720 Either way, it's shocking to hear that they were trying to double-dip on movies as early as 2012. If you're not confident in your first release, don't release it to begin with! Give it a few more months in the oven, don't re-release it later with scenes added and removed.

[@clanofclams2720]

@@hwate8 in the case of Snyder's justice league the movie was stolen from him before he could actually finish the thing. Studio greed is a tale as old as time

[@camelthegamer7165]

The previous games had a dozen single player characters with their own unique comeupance for the ending cutscenes. Hidden cars/drivers and cool storyline for a slaughterfest. Three endings? Bullshit modern day lazy ass creators.

[@elizapipemaster4200]

It's a lot more complicated than that, the game was originally a multiplayer only PSN Exclusive, publishers pushed for a story and single player mode to make it more marketable and to sell it at a higher price. David Jaffe, who is the original creator of the series, expressed that he himself was pretty dissapointed with how the single player modes came out, even tough gameplay wise this is probably the best TM game ever made. Laziness only really applies when you're talking about EA, Konami or other Triple A devs who barely have to try anymore. Show some respect man, these guys work countless unpaid days and nights to get games like these made. It's a miracle TM2012 ever came out if you think about it.

[@joaomarcoscosta4647]

@@elizapipemaster4200 Seems more likely that EA developers work overtime to push out games under unreasonable deadlines while executives prioritize meeting commercial expectations over making good games... I don't think laziness has much do with it.

[@SupermanUsesHacks]

You have to be the most down to earth person that I've ever met on the internet. You, my friend, deserve a medal.

[@evilyoufromthefuture6659]

Twisted metal series was my chilled hood on the PS2, but it broke and we moved on. I can faintly remember the Tokyo map where a super sonic bulldozer would hunt you down to flip you, a carnival level, and an RV boss where upon defeat, it realeases 2-4 quads that are mini bosses

[@SnivyTries]

Yeah, controls confused me, and I stalled on the FIRST LEVEL of the second campaign cause of those two obnoxiously strong trucks that spawn enemies endlessly.

[@allthebanter9316]

holyshit this has been up for 3years and has over 600,000 views, yet only 78 dislikes

[@allthebanter9316]

*98

[@calvinclark9478]

+Ben gill 99.

[@CPRANDOM2428]

+Calvin Clark 100

[@crazybarthem]

101

[@unknownanonymous2651]

God Damnit mate you had to ruin it.

[@EtaNett]

It's a shame that no one ever listens. Any sort of attempt at peace-inspiring is drowned out. Though I've given up long ago, you have my respect for your tenacity.

[@TJ_SASQUATCH]

welp to all who say that this is crap because its to hard im saying your not alone, at first for me it was difficult so I changed the controls for it and did the tutorials for every car and even more than that, after a while I got so good I beat it on the hardest difficulty WITH all gold metals and got the hard to reach prizes at the end all in one morning and once I did that the game really stuck with me and now I cant stop playing it "please send help" its the best one in the series in my eyes and now I cant wait for a new one

[@jubbie1122]

If people think this game is hard just go play twisted metal black on ps2. And if people think this game is bad because its to hard go play call of duty and need for speed where everything is spoon fed to you nowadays

[@TJ_SASQUATCH]

jubbie1122 I played that and beat that too lol

[@jubbie1122]

same

[@RealGengarTV]

***** Cool cool.. Now learn to punctuate your sentences.

[@blindbeholder9713]

GengarTV But it's Zero Punctuation.

[@Bloody-Butterfly]

I like the “The Cars That Ate Paris” reference.

[@arrownoir]

Bought this game and contrary to the director’s claims, I didn’t receive any happy ending.

[@SamuraiGoth]

Love the Twisted Metal franchise

[@RenaissanceHeavy]

I stand corrected. However, from what I see, it seems like sometimes there is one missing, Syndicate for example.

[@Ilovevidgames123]

You can't win. They have magic... the magic of friendship.

[@rodsk8dude]

His videos are uploaded first in the "Escapist" site, and only later to KZbin. This review is old already. I personally like seeing the videos on the escapist site, their video player tends to have less glitches than KZbin's (I think it's something wrong with my flash plugin, or the browser - I use Firefox, which have these problems, Chrome don't tend to have these, but it is bad in other areas)

[@Lyrikle]

I realised that after posting, but it was late at night and I really couldn't be arsed to change it

[@matthewbarwood863]

I read that entire comment in Ben's (Yahtzee's) voice. You sound just like him!

[@MuffinatorXII]

on The Escapist website the videos are updated weekly and are there before they are on KZbin. so....yea, go there

[@disturbedrocks1996]

I saw it on a fan fiction website a few years ago and I always wanted to use it.

[@jamoecw]

i played the original, and the brake does become the reverse after you've stopped. there is a hand brake though.

[@gunsniper0018]

Also yes i'm aware that he is a critic not a reviewer, i refer to him that way as many won't understand the difference anyways and they know what a reviewer is (to a degree). So it's just less stress for me to just simply say reviews and reviewer.

[@kataphrut7740]

Yet another review that’s got infinitely funnier now Yahtzee’s had a baby.

[@WarLocked1523]

New to the genre and Twisted Metal series. I played the original and I don't remember much about about it, but that's not why i'm here. I'm here because I wanted to point out how brilliantly written this was. I'm a long time subscriber here, but this video and Yakuza: Dead Souls were downright hilariously delightful. that is all :)

[@alexgregory365]

+Jay Romes saying Yahtzee has well-written and funny reviews is like saying 2+2=4. It's just fact

[@RenaissanceHeavy]

A faster rate would mean that it is uploaded more frequently, which it is on the website, I never said anything about the website having a faster rate because it is ahead, I said that because it actually has a faster rate, I.E, the episodes are uploaded more frequently, once a week as opposed to once every now and again like it is on here.

[@lekkek]

it makes sense to have classic controls for people who played old games but it shouldnt be default.

[@a_nigma]

( a ferris wheel with Stanley kubrick face painted on it). I actually think this is a good idea to honor Stanley kubrick

[@Metrawolf]

So, what you're asking is: "Have you considered any browser other than Internet fucking Explorer?"

[@IcyFire19]

0:20 Licentious- Being sexually promiscuous and unprincipled. Oh, that Yahtzee. What a card, man!

[@runningcommentary2125]

Wait, there was an actually game called 'Wargasm'? That needs a reboot.

[@YamahaWingMan]

never realized that i laughed at these till i started watching them in study hall

[@bananamonkey66]

Or. Tactical Assault works brilliantly and immediately. Take something that happened me recently for an example. "Person calls me names" "I punch him" "He cries" Violence solves everything.

[@torvus249]

Dual Juggernauts as Dollface. Seriously, fuck that mission.

[@NefariousDreary]

Bill Nolan That one and I hate the last race on the game

[@CarFox6]

Yes, because solving your problems with violence is always a mature and sensible idea.

[@Quintuplin12]

I had hoped that after watching every Zero Punctuation I would be allowed my free time back. Sadly, it seems that after a day or so they regain their hypnotic control over my computer, playing video after video of yellow backgrounds and snarky comments non stop. Currrse youuu.

[@robertdabrowski8274]

I liked the psp version. It wasn't the best, but I had way too much free time on holidays and I beat it with a few characters.

[@lucariolps277]

There is one for psp? Didn't know that

[@lucariolps277]

@Artuurs Z. Why? I was just genuinely curious

[@LovecraftianToenail]

"like a Ferris Wheel with Stanley Kubrick's face on it." I fucking LOST IT right there.

[@CasusUniversum]

Because it's blocked at some colleges and work locations because it's classified as a "game playing website"

[@incognitoburrito6020]

I don't know, I'd hug a tarantula-hedgehog. I mean, it's half hedgehog and those things are adorable. I can just pull off the tarantula legs, right?

[@darlordvader]

they upload the most recent episodes to the escapist site, and then have a back log on youtube

[@TooMuchSascha]

*voice of Dark Helmet from Spaceballs* "...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING."

[@Coecoo]

They do in a sense actually. Some gaming companies hire professional trolls that caps people who give their games critique so take that sarcasm.

[@ZiggyStarmonster]

3. how do you get from yahtzee to monopoly or is this just random?

[@FizzleFX]

0:20 that pun

[@daganschoen4895]

What pun

[@BoostedMonkey05]

Idr that being classic TM controls... And I played black and head on which was cathartic fun

[@Pipebombdreams]

I DEMAND THE RELEASE OF MORE ZERO PUNCTUATION VIDEOS ON KZbin IN A TIMELY MANNER!

[@gunsniper0018]

okay maybe i should clarify. i wasn't bashing yahtzee, he's one of my idols in the world of reviewing because of the way he approaches the material (if i remember right his approach is to start a judgement at the bare bottom and sees if the game prove itself to him). I was just saying (and joking a bit) that it's rare to hear a discernably positive review from him as most games don't meet his standards of a good game. That's not a bad thing, we need more reviewers like that.

[@TailsTheFox31]

@Naoyasha - I'm watching on my iPad, so I can watch videos AND read comments at the same time, and I read that comment LITERALLY THE SECOND I got to 3:28

[@JinnKimura]

Well, that analogy does backfire seeing that beating everybody that called me anything else than my name was how I got through from elementary to junior high, but it's not the point of that guy up there. It's also a viable tactic, if you have the patience.

[@Zealot99]

That's just you taking the piss, there is infact a thing called "American English" (it's even recognised in things like Microsoft Word did you know) which is seperate from the rest of the worlds definition of "English" because certain words are spelt differently e.g. English- Colour, US English- Color, there's a minor difference in the words spelling but it's still the same core word but because of the sheer number of words with an alternative spelling, it's considered to be a seperate language

[@TooMuchSascha]

Heh, thanks. I swear, that was the first thing that came to mind.

[@CM421]

*in a deep, distorted voice* we are coming... we will rise... silence MUST fall... we are coming...

[@Vilverna]

we fight with spoons. in a pool filled with raspberry preserves as is customary for my faith.

[@maxchallie1244]

1:00 and that, is what twisted metal is all about

[@BeerDone]

No. AdBlock prevents loading of the advertisement areas, and the system won't recognize a hit if the hit did not happen at all.

[@Agumon5]

Why are all of these videos at 240p at least go with 360p!

[@teamhammerbros8466]

If there is an early ps2 title Yahtzee missed, it was definitely Twisted Metal Black. The game play, to completionist route is obnoxious but underneath all that you have a game with lots of twisted story bits that will never be repeated again in a video game.

[@Shadow78954]

only compliment i can give this game is that its better then twisted metal 2s controls, which havent aged well at all

[@grimreaper9250]

Smarky Mcmark what about carmageddon max damage? a blast from the past that one.

[@hyperx72]

4:36 legit criticism

[@bbyrd1487]

Never get sick of these videos :D

[@HarryPNess-mr2cn]

What about the videos that are four days old?

[@chainsawgood123]

It's based off Code Geass, in which they always spell it "vi". I suppose it could mean the same thing, although then there's the characters with different ones like "la", "zi" and "li".

[@liamwirvin9586]

The ps2 version of this game is great. Playing with friends is much more fun though.

[@NefariousDreary]

Liam Wirvin There is no PS2 version. You're thinking of Twisted Metal black which is a totally different entry in the franchise. And the best one.

[@jaytd9393]

I have it, but I don't use it. I usually post on youtube or threads so I never really noticed many other sites that do this.

[@Dice12K]

YES! EVERY WEDNESDAY (BEFORE NOON) A ZERO PUNCTUATION VIDEO (SLIGHTLY EDITED TO ADVERTISE THE ESCAPIST) IS UPLOADED TO KZbin! IT MAY NOT BE THE LATEST (THE ONE BEFORE THE LATEST TO BE PERCISE) BUT OUR GOAL HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED: MORE ZERO PUNCTUATION VIDEOS ON A TIMELY MANNER! THREE CHEERS FOR CAPS AND POLITE DEMEANOR USED TO MAKE UNREASONABLE DEMANDS!

[@Bobo-zi6qc]

Rewatched this just for the end gag.

[@timetogo1831]

4:37 that I love him

[@fishworshipper]

He is taking his advice, and he's trying to assist others by saying that if they stop giving a damn their problem goes away.

[@ThatCanadianGamer374]

I'm actually kind of liking this one, but then again this is my first TM game. It came with a code for TM Black though so I guess I could try that to compare.

[@mathewgee3467]

twisted metal was my favorite game on the play station 1 =\.

[@herofromthedark]

What I'm trying to say to you, is that you're talking about the old canon, in a video about the reboot game. I'm talking about the reboot game, while you're talking about the old games. I lack familiarity with the old games, so I'll take your word about what you say about Calypso. BUT this video is about the new Twisted Metal, which has it's own story, because it's a reboot. And in this reboot, there is a preacher who basically says that Calypso is the devil. He even gets sent to hell.

[@MuffinatorXII]

okay that's what i thought. but I'm pretty sure that the 3 weeks that it's on the Escapist before it is on KZbin negates that

[@Firan25]

eh...he has reviewed a couple JRPG's when things got slow..."Valkeria chronicles" "The world ends with you" "Final fantasy 13" and "Neir" one of them he actually kinda suggested...

[@Kazerioth]

Getting angry without the strength to back it up feeds them, if you do have the strength to back it up then they tend to back off because they find the weaker in the herd and considering that it's most likely the bullys friends around him, they'll laugh and cheer. You have to show them that you won't take it or else they just continue doing it. I practiced turning the other cheek in highschool, and on my last 3 years I decided to take martial arts to fight back instead of using words It worked.

[@Moothead2]

It's not really a good analogy. Serious suggestion: Go to the Zero Punctuation page on the Escapist and add that page to your favourites bar at the top of your browser. Then on Wednesdays when you get back from school or work or whatever you do just click on that and you'll be right there! Magical I know.

[@Dice12K]

HISTORY DOESN'T CARE HOW OLD SOMETHING IS WHEN SOMETHING IS DONE ABOUT IT!

[@Poodleinacan]

I think they already uploaded it..... Or maybe we just saw it from their site.

[@2770water]

they are, but the truly new videos are only on escapist. If you want an opinion on the game go watch on actual review or check the escapist website for yahtzee's new videos.

[@hamleha]

yahtzee is a game you can play with dices, go look it up if you desire.

[@Wolfman-tx1ne]

Holy shit twisted metal what a fucking throwback

[@deusexmachina101]

Don't listen to these idiots not only is your comment not spam but I think it's a great idea and I'll be sure to try it next time I have a party.

[@volkswagenginetta]

you mind if i call that the understatement of all time?

[@napalmkitty6686]

2 is still my favourite Shout outs to black and head on!

[@RenaissanceHeavy]

Do you realize that the website is about 10 episodes ahead of youtube? Also, yes, a video is uploaded on the website each week, as opposed to a month or so, so I fail to see your point.

[@weeset]

With wide screen TVs, I prefer the four-way split, even if there's only two people...

[@Dexi]

Yeah, I was just writing it how the other guy did and it didn't cross my mind.