Financial Infidelity, Secret Debt, & Other Things Uncovered In Divorce Settlements

[@HITABikes]

I have a future episode suggestion. There's always advice that couples should communicate more about their finances. My partner and I have been married for 14 years and in the early days it was a struggle to have these conversations. Her background involved a lot of financial guilt and so simple statements like "we spent $x on coffee shops" felt like an accusation to her which of course frustrated me because I did not understand. Over time we began to build more trust and gain more skill at talking about money. Now it's pretty fun and we use these monthly finance chats to talk about the future and our dreams and make plans. I feel like some practical advice for how to frame things, how to be empathetic, and some ideas for how to structure these conversations would be really helpful for couples who want to improve their communication around money but run into challenges.

[@madamerousseau78]

I second this suggestion.

[@sarahwhipple1330]

Great idea. My husband and I come from very similar backgrounds, but my parents were very open and responsible with the little money we had while it was feast or famine with his mother. We were broke and young when we got together, so our big money conflicts didn't even start until we both had actual money to spend. We are doing better now, but I wish we would have known what to talk about way back then.

[@twweety9]

@thefinancialdiet. I hope she see this. This would help so much

[@cjh06002]

I love this idea. And perhaps suggestions on how to communicate about finances with your partner, or resources that make it easier for the less involved party to see the numbers and understand where the money is going/allocated. My partner gets really anxious when talking about money, and always worries that it’s not enough, and I end up confused because what I’m trying to ask is, how do we want to allocate our discretionary spending (home projects, travel, car, savings, etc)?

[@leekathyw]

My husband and I have also struggled with this a lot!!! I’m really open and fine talking about money and he carries a lot of shame around about money so he hates to talk about it. It has taken decades for me to break this down. I am the breadwinner and it’s very important to me that he knows what’s going on with our finances because what if I get hit by a bus?

[@laurenstylish]

I like the concept of a joint account for bill paying but also each spouse with an account, but with partner transparency into that account; if both people are fairly reasonable adults that should provide for a sense of freedom but also accountability to the family.

[@ellim1585]

That’s what we do. The agreement also includes that joint expenses are covered first, if, for some reason, one of us doesn’t have enough to fully pay for both joint and personal expenses that month. It works great for us.

[@surlespasdondine]

Same here! I could not imagine doing it any other way.

[@bonnie6866]

this is such a great episode! it's too bad more guys don't watch this podcast. this episode is so important for everybody

[@bonnie6866]

i wonder if you could get endorsements from like sports guys and mma fighters and stuff and get some guys to watch. we'd like the dating pool to be better and if they watch this maybe they'll improve.

[@geovanrich4916]

Did she post the gender breakdown of the channel?

[@bonnie6866]

@@geovanrich4916 she has discussed at a high level in the past. but yes chelsea post it and the changes over time! we are curious!

[@Rashad3000]

Bonnie, I’m watching and I posted a reply above. 👍🏾

[@foodgoesinthemouth4037]

@@geovanrich4916 I don’t think she’s ever posted the gender breakdown such, but has said the audience is predominantly women, which is perfectly understandable. I happen to be a man for the record. 😊

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

I used to think that was a dramatic nomenclature until it happened to me. Financial fidelity. The betrayal! The utter betrayal

[@bryonyvaughn2427]

Across cases of abuse (think physical, mental, emotional, medical, etc) the type most commonly found across all cases of abuse is financial abuse. Also, in Michigan if two spouses are on a mortgage, one can get a second mortgage without getting the agreement off or even informing the other. Shockingly, this is perfectly legal. This is also why I encourage anyone telling me that they’re considering divorce TO ALWAYS pull their spouses credit reports. It’s really easy for a bad faith actor to lie during deposition and not make full transparent disclosures. It’s always best to ask INFORMED questions and to know when you’re being lied to.

[@NameName-lv4lu]

32:32 this is 100000% true. My mom took 7 years off work to raise us 3 kids, she cashed her pension from her best job to pay for things. When my parents got divorced my mom was left penniless and struggling for a low wage at an entry level bank job and my dad bought a property less than a year after the divorce. Because of my father's selfishness now I being the primary breadwinner for my family, will be responsible for financing my moms retirement because she has enough to live a barebones retirement for maybe 5 years at the most.

[@HiMyNameIsKim]

Totally relate to a lot of this. I have a lot of animosity for my own father cuz this is a somewhat similar situation for my mother and then my father had the audacity to say that “she asked to this”, even though for years his employer legit didn’t allow her to work due to VISA items (my rage, 😤)

[@phoebetaylor4275]

As someone who loves to yell about how I never wanna get married, I have never heard a convincing argument FOR MARRIAGE than this interview. And if a marriage is a contract with the government, then why the hell aren't prenups REQUIRED!? You have a terms of cancellation for a spotifiy subscription

[@thatjillgirl]

It's not a contract with the government. The "contract" is between you and your spouse. The government is just who you file it with and who executes relevant legal issues when there are occasions when it matters who your primary family members are.

[@bonnie6866]

technically with marriage you do have a prenup. the family law of where you live. but ya, if you want to deviate from that you need a prenup and also to make sure yours is enforceable.

[@Rashad3000]

Thankfully, my wife and I have been on the same page with money for many years. We are a few months from officially being millionaires. We have a budget. I make around 60-65% of the household income but we put equal amounts into our multiple retirement accounts. We pool our resources together and don’t believe in separate finances. I have a larger pension, only because I make more. Otherwise, everything is equal. She gets $500/mo for personal spending, I get $250. I have $1,350,000 in term insurance, she has $850,000. Zero debt, 100% transparency. Prior to getting married, both parties must take financial counseling together and have a game plan. Period.

[@SaintAvangeline]

Off topic, but Tracy is stunning! So well spoken, informative and eloquent!

[@Iamso4u]

This was a very interesting episode. I am grateful that my divorce while painful was largely amicable. We sat down and hashed out who was keeping what assets and then stuck to our word. While I feel we were not ultimately on the same page, it was the best of a bad situation. That being said, if I ever marry again I will not give up my dreams and aspirations and I would have a prenup so we can have the hard talks when we’re both in a better headspace. Next to no one marries someone they love believing it will end in divorce. But life happens. Better to be prepared.

[@Dear.Maria27]

Mona sighting at 15:58

[@catherinejacobs4801]

“….aren’t your clients murderously angry!?!” Great question!!!!!

[@hollysmith7828]

Something not bought up is pre nups for inheritance. If your parents pass during the marriage and you spend the money on both of you, but after the divorce his parents pass, you don’t share that money.

[@athousandandonenights11]

Inheritances automatically belong to the person who inherited them even after marriage. If you don’t want your partner to have access then don’t put it in a joint account or use it on both of you. If you decide to use it the government or anyone else can’t do much. They definitely won’t go after your ex if they inherit something after divorce.

[@hollysmith7828]

@@athousandandonenights11 it’s not universal that inheritance belongs to one party. Source: my parents got divorced and the judge didn’t take into account my mum’s inheritance of a whole house. It can also be very difficult to sit on a whole inheritance when money is tight and you need to pay the bills.

[@bonnie6866]

where i live if you keep your inheritance in an account entirely in your name and don't spend any of that money on family stuff then that money remains yours. the best approach i think. depending on your level of trust.

[@RainbowCatButterflyTV]

Thank you 🙏🏻 for the episode Comes exactly in the right time for me 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@meg7578]

It’s hard to feel sorry for the wife who spent the husband 2 million salary… he must be rich now.

[@pro100olga]

yeah, I think that's why it makes sense to split 50/50 (as a default value), because apart from cases when a stay at home partner really puts in a lot of work, there are also cases, when they just spend all the money the main breadwinner earns for the family

[@mariusvanc]

@@pro100olga Yeah, "unpaid work" my a$$. Is she paying for the house? The food? The utilities? The clothes? The kids braces are just donated I guess? Unpaid, hmm....

[@WaitingForTheSubway]

I love this lady. She’s so smart. I wish she could transmit all her money knowledge to me😍

[@ayemad]

lol true

[@institutomapaef]

Vídeo muito necessário. Casais precisam aprender a falar sobre dinheiro, tomar decisões juntos. E pensar no futuro! Sou planejadora financeira e quem tiver perguntar é só comentar.

[@SSLLatia]

I appreciate this talk a lot. We have separate finances as far as that is possible, for many reasons. It has worked well for us, because we are blessed with a very fortunate situation. But I do think the advice to have full money transparency is a good one. I never even thought about it before. And to have a regular talk with each other about the finances as well (as stated in the interview with the divorce laywer)

[@kristinaerickson2353]

I have the opposite problem. Im frustrated my hubby wont be more involved with the money. I make more than he does but, we need both incomes for our budget. He also, gets health insurance and other benefits I dont. So his pay goes more to benefits and mine pays more bills. I want to sit down and have budget meetings once a month so we are on the same page. He just wants me to tell him what to do because Im the one whose good with money. But, thats not fair because we wont always agree on what to save for at the same time. Aka he wants a new vehicle and I want to remodel the bathroom. Im okay managing the bill paying and such I just want involvement.

[@BassGoThump]

Por que no los dos? Do both. $1 to car and $1 to the bathroom. As soon as the account can but the thing, buy it. If the car is more expensive, it will take longer to purchase. Once the bathroom is remodeled, you get to relabel the account to whatever the next thing you want is.

[@bonnie6866]

oh man i'm trying to feel sympathetic to you but if I had a spouse who just let me decide all the money I would be so excited and grateful. trying to do this with my current spouse makes me want to pull out my eyeballs.

[@surlespasdondine]

Why don't you have a common account for bills and both pay into it?

[@kristinaerickson2353]

@@surlespasdondine We do. He just wants me to tell him the amount and he puts it in there.

[@kristinaerickson2353]

@@bonnie6866 It's one of those "mental load" things women complain about a lot. I already have a more difficult to manage budget. My job is not consistent at all. I make a different amount of money every day. I have no PTO so if I get sick I lose my pay for that day. That means I budget very conservatively and budget for sick time and vacation on my own. He gets the same check every two weeks. So it can just be a lot to try and make sure I'm not inflating our lifestyle and taking care of emergency savings and retirement in a responsible manner.

[@bobbert1945]

This has me thinking of my job as a gopher in a law firm ~30 years ago. The law firm was located on an island. The lawyer I worked for had clients whose names you'd recognize from history books. He or she also had many lawyer contacts from islands of other countries. Allegedly he or she might have been involved with wealthy clients hiding assets from spouses during divorce. Those spouses could have used a forensic accountant.

[@elenakalliste]

It would have been great to have heard about financial abuse in marriages. But otherwise this was a great episode, Chelsea really seemed engaged!!

[@coya8coy175]

My parents never talked to me about finances and marriage, but I know they don’t have the same financial habits. Hell, they never said too much about how to handle finances in general. I pretty much learned as I went along. The more I am learning about finances and marriage, the less I want to get married. In a capitalistic society where money stands between life and death, I’m not sure opening up myself financially to someone else via marriage is worth it.

[@M4rkeritaville]

If marriage and kids are this joyless and catastrophic and difficult... it just isnt worth it. More housework that requires me to buy a book to teach me how to get my bum off the couch? Heh, no. I was walking in the union sq area and i heard a guy say into his phone "she mortgaged the house again to pay for private school"... so not worth it. So many goddamn markers of "adulthood" are no longer worth it or so expensive or delicate that when they go wrong, it ruins you: Home ownership, marriage, college, kids, family... all that stuff is ruinous, can go sideways very quickly. I was sold that this stuff is neccessary and joyful. Its a lie.

[@bonnie6866]

I think that on date 3 you start saying detailed things about money and if the other person doesn't run, that's a good sign. and say "I think marriage is partly a business / project with a budget etc". and if your partner says "that's so unromantic" dump them immediately because they are just trying to scam you.

[@surlespasdondine]

Joyless and catastrophic? This episode is about worst case scenarios. I see a lot of joyless people around me that have neither spouse nor kids. If someone wants a life wirh spouse and kids I can only recommend it. 😊 Yes it can end up in divorce but it can give you more happiness than you'd ever expect.

[@surlespasdondine]

I was lucky I met an economist who made me feel safe in that area from the start:)

[@bonnie6866]

if it sounds like that to you, you probably shouldn't do it, and that's fine. it is very busy and it takes a lot of planning and hard work and money and teamwork. and our society is not optimally set up to support all this right now. especially for old-school guys who don't want to be in a team of equals with a woman. so it is good to identify these warning signs beforehand, not while trying to parent.

[@namenamenamename7224]

I'm bringing out the popcorn for this episode!

[@muiawat]

The comments are already going off 🍿 😂

[@daccocreative]

Really enjoyed this episode! ❤

[@yurydmorales]

00:02🎙 Chelsea introduces herself and the show "The Financial Confessions." 00:55💬 Chelsea highlights the episode's focus on financial infidelity, red flags, and financial abuse. 01:24👩‍💼 Guest Tracy Conan is introduced as a CPA and forensic financial analyst. 02:20🧾 Tracy explains her role in investigating financial misconduct in both corporate and divorce cases. 03:08🏠 Tracy discusses conducting lifestyle analyses for high-net-worth divorce cases. 04:56🔍 Tracy finds that most of her work involves uncovering financial misconduct or dishonesty. 05:03💔 Romantic infidelity and financial infidelity often go hand-in-hand due to the expenses of affairs. 07:09🚩 Common financial red flags include secrecy, lying, and sudden changes in spending behavior. 08:19🔐 Tracy emphasizes the importance of multiple red flags and trusting one's instincts. 09:29🧔‍♂ Tracy notes that financial misconduct often occurs in traditional gender roles where men control finances. 12:08📜 Prenups help manage financial expectations and provide protections in case of divorce. 13:11💔 Tracy sees similar emotional distress across all income brackets during divorces. 14:47💸 Tracy observes high earners often living paycheck to paycheck due to unsustainable lifestyles. 17:23📈 Raises and bonuses often lead to increased spending rather than saving. 19:03🧳 Personal background and upbringing influence financial perspectives and behaviors in marriages. 20:57🛠 Better communication could potentially improve financial handling and relationship stability. 22:00🤔 Financial negligence in relationships can lead to significant consequences if one partner manages finances without transparency or involvement from the other. 23:05📉 Responsibility for household finances should ideally be shared between partners to avoid one-sided decision-making and foster financial teamwork. 24:00📝 Budgeting as a couple doesn't have to be complex; a simple list of expenses can suffice, but regular, collaborative discussions are crucial for financial health. 27:02🎙 Initiating regular, casual financial check-ins can alleviate the stress of big, infrequent money talks and keep both partners informed and involved. 30:04👩‍👩‍👧‍👦 Divorce Money Guide supports women navigating divorce by providing financial education and community support tailored to their needs. 31:00💼 Stay-at-home parents in divorce often face financial challenges due to lost earning potential, highlighting the importance of financial protections like prenuptial agreements. 35:15🔍 Discussions on financial agency within relationships should consider historical contexts and ensure informed decision-making to avoid economic vulnerabilities. 38:07😡 Discovering financial betrayal during divorce proceedings can evoke anger and shame, underscoring the emotional complexities of managing finances during marital breakdown. 41:00🧘‍♀ Emotional support during financial crises is crucial; seeking therapy or coaching can help manage the overwhelming feelings that arise from financial disputes. 42:20📊 Essential pre-marriage financial discussions include money values, spending habits, and transparency expectations to align financial goals and avoid future conflicts.

[@lexthanexpected]

Does America have an equivalent to spousal RRSPs like in Canada? 401k that can be set up in spouses name but contributed by the the other spouse? Helps reduce taxable income for higher earner but also lowers future taxes when retired bc you’re drawing 60k from 2 retirement fund instead of 120k from 1. Feel like that’s a good mutually beneficial way to make sure a stay at home parent doesn’t get as left behind in retirement. Works well if you stay together but also if you split.

[@JKRBW]

No. We can do that with a Roth IRA but the contribution limits are much lower than a 401k.

[@elenakalliste]

We do. I never hear them talked about though, so I assume most people have no clue.

[@Erin-rg3dw]

I'm pretty sure we do. I don't hear about it often, but I think it's mainly for stay-at-home spouse. Less beneficial than a regular 401(k) (i.e. no employer match) but is a way to lower taxable income while saving for retirement.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

9:00 Well, this girlboss hears that information and just thinks, 'cool, so I just won't get married then, thanks for the info!' 😎

[@bonnie6866]

quantifying primary parent: gestational carrier: $20K per child. Nannying: $3,000 per month until youngest kid is 15 or mother is back at work full time (not a shady full time of always leaving work early and taking the sick days but real full time). child support until youngest kid is 21 so that they can have the same lifestyle as pre divorce. 50% of the retirement accounts at time of divorcing to make up for years missed in the workforce. there. we as a society can just always plan that this is the deal. people who can't agree to this shouldn't have kids together.

[@geovanrich4916]

Damn. I could not afford that deal

[@bonnie6866]

@@geovanrich4916 yes no one could. but let's say that that is the value that a stay at home parent brings so establishing fairness for both spouses needs to start with that as the starting point and work back.

[@bonnie6866]

and another 3000$ a month for any full time eldercare of inlaws. stay at home unpaid carers have been exploited for milennia. it is not right.

[@bonnie6866]

or maybe like 50% of each of those numbers since both parents should carry the cost(except the splitting of retirement account should still be 50/50). but like, those are the numbers. but the mom shouldn't carry all the cost. so maybe the non gestational parent owes 10K per kid and the non at home parent owes $1500 per month for the nannying, and then child support. but kids are a big financial sacrifice for both parents. that's just the way it is.

[@geovanrich4916]

​@@bonnie6866I definitely agree that the value of the stay at home parent is huge

[@julieann37]

Topic idea (this one is spicy): Finances in blended families. Not that I would ever date a man with kids, but if I did, it's prenup all the way to protect assets with child support and LAT (living apart together). Blended families don't work in my opinion and unnecessarily forced most of the time to everyone's detriment and it's absurd how women are villified if they don't participate as stepmoms. I would want the freedom to live my life and potential family on its own terms and not on another schedule.

[@glitterstarbeau]

I'm a family lawyer. It seems way too hard to be in a blended family

[@julieann37]

​@@glitterstarbeauChild support is wild--second and additional kids generally get less $. I truly don't understand how blending is the default--the divorce rate is astronomical and I'd argue women suffer more than men in hetero setups because sexism expects women to play a certain role, domestically. Ladies--do NOT go into these situations lightly--eapecially financially.

[@bonnie6866]

@@julieann37 oh ya absolutely. would never try to do a step child financial setup situation. 2 separate families. 2 separate budgets.

[@bonnie6866]

@@Momo-po5tn of course they exist but i have observed them to be messy and full of problems. in my opinion and probably these other people, we would prefer to raise kids to adulthood not try to blend household and money with teenagers for example.

[@saeedhossain6099]

11:09 an observation I've made where the wife is the primary breadwinner role, the husband is on an allowance, and is involved in budgeting only to the extent that he's responsible for food shopping, but I'm not a forensic accountant, just someone who has observed many relationship breakdowns. there is one major caveat, when these couples are organized within religious groups there seems to be more bandwidth shown by both sides.

[@melissabeach7078]

Omg minute 38:20… girl! One husband and one fiancé!! Both cheated and used MY MONEY on their side pieces. My ex husband even tried to take my parents money!! When we broke up I found out my ex fiancé had cheated 3 times, rang up thousands on my credit card in less than 30 days and then told me he was going to live with me and date other women when we still had a lease and I was paying 2/3 of the rent and bills. Wtf. Gtfo! Now I’m happily single… maybe forever and I have more money than ever! I am highly educated woman. I hated myself and was soooo embarrassed!!!

[@cece121234]

More women are asking for prenups when asked to be SAHM.

[@BusinessBox13]

I know a guy who co-signed for his mistress’s car - he was not wealthy btw.

[@SmarandaC]

Mona looks glorious. She should come every time... 🎉😊

[@jzmina]

I choose the financial roles my grandparents and greatgrandparents had. The woman wfh and takes on most of the child care. The man works a high paying job, hands the woman his paycheck every two weeks, and is given an allowance for boy activities.

[@ThePopopotatoes]

Yeah and what would've happened to great grandma if great grandpa went out to get milk and never came back? Spoiler alert it wasn't fucking good. These days it's easier to go after a deadbeat but being a divorced former stay at home mom is still a hard row to hoe.

[@saeedhossain6099]

this is the financial hitman end of the financial forensics....

[@CaraMarie13]

Is things like this that make me grateful am too broke to have anything to fight over in a separation. I can't believe am saying this, but Jeff Bezos set the standard in assets separation during divorce and these rich a holes should follow it.

[@alexandrawilson-hodge2974]

I think your title is missing something! 😅

[@scottbuck1572]

Yet more reasons to never get married

[@bonnie6866]

you can sus out if people have unethical approaches to cheating etc. don't ignore red flags. break up right away if things are questionable

[@scottbuck1572]

@@Momo-po5tn Or just don't get married. Seems easier to me

[@Momo-po5tn]

@@scottbuck1572 that works too!

[@scottbuck1572]

Yes Chelsea, it's "negligence" to expect your partner to be an adult and control themselves. Absurd

[@bonnie6866]

in a culture where good financial educatin was normalized then maybe but in this culture we need to be super transparent and clear and communicative. this guy's macho inability to admit he wasn't a billionaire meant his wife went overboard with her spending.

[@grreeeeee]

It's not a good interpretation of statistics that divorce is a "worse outcome" as a result of women being the bread winner. Perhaps divorce rates would be higher if more women had the ability to get out of shitty marriages. Divorce is not necessarily a bad outcome.

[@Scottweeier846]

I will be forever grateful to you, you changed my entire life and I will continue to preach on your behalf for the whole world to hear you saved me from huge financial debt with just a small investment, thank you Natalie Rose Strayer.

[@SmarandaC]

Maybe sometimes you could just ask the question? 😊

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

Can we stop with the “EVERYONE needs a prenup” bullshit? It’s very fucking financially tone-deaf to say that EVERYONE should get one. Reality is, most couple don’t have enough assets to worry about a prenup, and most will never have enough to make a prenup and attorneys a sound investment. When most people can’t cover a $400-emergency, where is this magical set of resources people need a prenup for? Even a cheap prenup is $500, and then to enforce it later means you need the money to hire attorneys to enforce it. In what world does everyone have this kind of money? Poorer and typical people don’t need to be stressing about how they’re doing it wrong if they don’t go hungry to save the money for some attorneys so they can argue over the mismatched dishes, or what to do in various fantasy situations where they join the 1%. It’s easy to talk about how you’d split money in a fantasy world where you’re multi-millionaires when you’re sitting there struggling to buy enough food. But it doesn’t apply in real life. It sure enriches you rich people though. Who the fuck cares about alimony in a prenup when two people together are struggling to cover rent as it is? On what privileged planet is the typical couple comprised of one person making so much money that they cover the bills, then will have enough to cover alimony to cover the expenses of a second household, even if scaling back their current lifestyle? Most households with one worker have just one because they can’t afford childcare, and are still struggling to make ends meet. Yeah, that money for fucking attorneys for a prenup really matters to the typical household…. If the circumstances you’re in when getting married includes a lot of resources already, then sure, you may want to consider one. How out of touch can you be, and how limited is your circle of friends, to think most people have enough shit to get a prenup for when there are tons and tons of couples who want to divorce, but can’t afford to in the first place because the can’t afford two rents when one rent is already too much? (Gotta love the rich lady talking about the at-home person not being able to cover a MORTGAGE…since I guess the people she knows have the money to go out and BUY a house when they get divorced rather than needing to rent like most people.) Realistically, being able to get divorced is a luxury that many, if not most, people can’t afford. What good is a prenup? For the record, my husband and I didn’t get one. We defied the odds and went from broke to doing well. We’re in a state where it’s equitable division, and he’d get everything. But I didn’t marry an asshole. I married someone who I knew during his first divorce, and saw them behave like adults and not screw each other. I married someone I can trust, someone who openly communicates, and if we reach a point of different paths, we won’t screw each other-we have a daughter who learns from what we do, in addition to us being adults who don’t believe in fucking people over. We need to stigmatize fucking people over, secrets, and planning for divorce warfare because adults are allowed to act like entitled little assholes when a divorce come in.

[@trashpageant7861]

You are a fool and it will bite you in the butt. And I think you know it hence this overemotional post.

[@RealSigmaQueen]

Assets before marriage are the last reasons for a prenup. Anything you accrue before marriage belongs to the person. But poor people need prenups as much (or more) than middle class or even rich people. $500 to save the thousands of getting a court order for child support.

[@tomaitoe]

The law does not care about how much money you have. If you live in a community property state, your assets will be divided during a divorce. No matter how little you have, you can still end up with less. The process of discussing the prenup is also very eye opening, and can show the couple where they might need better communication.

[@geoarambula139]

If you can’t afford a prenup you can’t afford to get married yet

[@czzzzz23]

​@@geoarambula139 marriage improves economic outcomes, discouraging low income people from marriage is toxic and youre basically promoting poverty or saying low income people deserce to be broke and alone. What the hell

[@joannk5259]

Your poor dog looks like he needs to go potty

[@blackgirlsrock264]

Why the misleading thumbnail though….🤔

[@juniorgod321]

This is of the best MGTOW videos I’ve seen in quite some time!

[@RealSigmaQueen]

If that’s your take, you’re not qualified to be either a decent husband or a decent father. Please go your own way.

[@bonnie6866]

and also Women going their own way. but since the world is totally overpopulated this is good. loads of people with no communication skills will not have kids, and this is good.

[@saeedhossain6099]

23:03 damn Chelsea, you need to try dating a chick, or basically try to have a relationship where a large dimension of your interactions is held hostage if rhe other person is displeased. if its men who are tasked with budgeting, and it's their fault for not enforcing spending discipline on the spendthrift who has a supply monopoly on physical intimacy and is and cannot be subject to paternal uncertainty, sounds like a raw deal and frankly the logical positioning is to remain financially uncoupled and child free.

[@bonnie6866]

I fully disagree. Guys need to learn phrases like "Your monthly budget is X and here are the things you need to buy with that money. If you cannot we can discuss it, but this should be plenty of money. I can afford for you to spend X on clothes, restaurants with friends, etc in a year but no more. when you use up your budget for those items it's gone." and if she is difficult about this or cuts off the sex then divorce. find a woman who is able to understand budgeting and financial planning.

[@pbrown0829]

If you should get back pay for being a stay at home parent then the breadwinner should be compensated for the cost to house, feed etc for the stay home parent. It goes both ways

[@Egg_Apron]

Absolutely, calculate the room and board for the home parent, and make sure to extend continuity of that room and board as a constant until the children are all grown. 😌 And let's also calculate the "baby maker" cost to the parent who gestated the children, (per child); endured discomfort and pain; and delivered the babies; plus their lost fitness, lost sleep time and the permanent changes to their body. After all, that parent brought enormous and irreplaceable value to the breadwinner parent. 😌 I'm glad to see that we're thinking outside the box to maintain fairness! Yay us!

[@soapaddict09]

​@human-capital- sorry not sorry but no. You made that decision to get pregnant, be a parent and that includes EVERYTHING that comes with it. So sick of hearing parents complain. If one doesn't want to take on the responsibility of parenting, don't become one.

[@Egg_Apron]

@@soapaddict09 Soooo does that decision to have kids include room and board for the brood mare? 🙂 Or should she just forage outside for grubs and berries, and sleep on a hay bail?

[@JKRBW]

​@@soapaddict09procreation is typically a two-to-tango kind of thing.

[@soapaddict09]

​@@Egg_Apronyour life is not a transaction. Like it's been talked about on the channel before, we don't need to keep sending $$ for every purchase we make. A smart couple, would have this talk prior to marriage. What do they want, short term & long term? If one ( male or female) is going to be working & the other the SAHP, those are your roles. The average couple doesn't and goes into life. Compensation for doing your role is called work. If you want it, go get a paying job and pay taxes.