Broke Millennial On Prenups, The Having Kids Debate, & The Finances Of Love

In this episode, Chelsea sits down with longtime friend of TFD, Erin Lowry AKA Broke Millennial. Click here to reserve your spot at their FREE digital event about money & relationships, happening this Thursday, 2/25! www.eventbrite...
Subscribe to The Financial Confessions podcast here: lnkfi.re/1QYK1e4R
For our favorite moments from The Financial Confessions podcast, subscribe to our highlights channel here: / @thefinancialconfessio...
Broke Millennial on Twitter: / brokemillennial
Broke Millennial website: brokemillennia...
Broke Millennial on Instagram: / brokemillennialblog
Buy 'Broke Millennial Talks Money': www.amazon.com...
The Financial Diet site: www.thefinancia...
Facebook: / thefinancialdiet
Twitter: / tfdiet
Instagram: www.instagram....

[@thefinancialdiet]

Hope you can join us for Erin's free workshop all about finances in your current (or future) relationship! If you missed the registration link in the description here it is again: bit.ly/TFDSTUDIO225.

[@sarahjcgillespie]

"I personally see a wedding invitation as a bill" - I laughed so hard at that! Could not agree more 😆

[@kikib.4519]

Ikr I laughed so hard when she said that.

[@EshiJay]

The fact that Chelsea and Erin both talk about the massive financial planning that goes into having a child, THANK GOD because most people do not plan enough for that kind of life decision!! Especially one that affects someone else's life more than yours!

[@somethingcooliguess]

And parents just want to be grandparents (plus didn’t raise us in the current economic climate) and they brush off costs! It’s rough when you try and look to your wise parents for advice on this.

[@BioBioLove]

I totally agree with the concept of preparing financially for a child! I never understood the rush some people feel in having kids super young with no savings. However, when you wee 30 somethings wanting a family and not being able to afford it my heart breaks. I am European so universal healthcare, maternity leave and subsidised childcare is my normal. I really think these things are needed in the USA, and would help people (who want kids) to afford kids.

[@BioBioLove]

@@julm7744 Absolutely, it is a super natural instinct. Kids can totally become collateral damage in the hands of irresponsible adults. But I really believe that two hard working adults should be able to have a child without going bankrupt. If we continue like this only middle class and rich people will have kids and everybody else will not be able to afford them. I think there should be support to parents. Granted I live in Germany and literally pay 50% of my salary in taxes and health insurance but I am super happy this money support the rest of society.

[@BioBioLove]

@@julm7744 Thank you for mentioning all these caveats! I was thinking it too but didnt want to overcomplicate things here. I have lived in 3 european countries and all handle welfare differently. I am Greek and in all fairness you dont get much from the government other than a 9 month paid maternity leave (500€/month) and healthcare (not the best but you can live with it in the worse case senario). Childcare is not so expensive I recon like 400€ a month but mostly grandparents do the childcare. It is socially acceptable and wanted, but also helpful financially. I believe people with low income even get free childcare. I also lived in the UK, again free healthcare and a year of paid maternity leave (around 600£/month). Childcare is a killer though 1200£/month which is insane, but when the kid is 3 yo you get 3 days free, and after 4 its all covered. Now I live in Germany, and I expect my first child. We have healthcare and 14 months maternity leave (60% of your salary up to 1800€) and the kindergarten usually costs around 250-300€/month. Plus you get “child money” which is 200€/month. Excuse the huge message, I just thought it might be helpful to compare how 3 different countries handle things. In Greece cover is basic but families pull together to support the next generation, in the UK the 2-4 y are harder financially and in Germany the childcare is more subsidised but taxes are skyhigh. What you say breaks my heart, if you want a child or two you should be able to have them! I feel we fail as a society if we dont support each other.

[@BioBioLove]

@@julm7744 thank you so much on the insight on the life in Asia! I have watched some stuff about the South Korea low birth rates, and I think the same thing! These money the government gives is soooo little, basically doing nothing to help you. It is really hard to raise a child with minimal support. I expect the south Korean government will eventually start supporting parents more in the future otherwise the demographic stability of the country is at risk. Which is still an issue in Europe besides the initiatives. If you struggle financially a child can become a “burden” sad but true. On the topic of the very demanding parenting I can relate. In Greece the culture is similar though a bit more tuned down. Given the best is a given, private schooling, tutoring, languages, music, university at least to masters etc. And yes in Greece also most kids live at home till they get married. And to top it off, you are also expected to give inheritance to your children. I suppose I am not as obsessed with this cause I struggled under the pressure as a child so I would prefer the more relaxed parenting. However the caveat is that people who cannot afford this still will have children and try to do the best they can cause the family culture is super strong. That of course has negative side effects, eg. I dont even want to imagine telling my parents I dont want children as they would totally flip. Housing wise you are also very right! Houses are expensive, especially in larger cities where employment opportunities are the optimal. In Greece its not sooo expensive but of course salaries are smaller. However, loads of people inherit a flat/house from their parents. On the other hand In UK in London it is a madhouse, like 1-2million pounds 🤦‍♀️. The further away you get from London the better the prices, so people are forced out of big cities. In Germany I believe houses in big cities are very expensive too, maybe not as much as London though. I live in a smaller city but because people have good salaries here and the city has not enough houses prices are on the higher side. However the other cities and villages 30 min drive away are cheaper. Do I want to go there? Not really at least for the time being, but it could be a choice. Speaking of the Netherlands, my cousin is Dutch and oh my days the housing crisis there is out of control! I recon she gave up on owning property.

[@sarahg9632]

I set up my life, my finances, my career, etc, to NOT include a partner. If I found one (which I did), bonus. If I didn't find one/separated, I would be fine financially. As a woman, this was a very important goal for me

[@oceanwonders]

CHRIST yes. Seeing my family deal with money problems for decades, it's SO not worth it to get financially entangled.

[@roxane1237]

Be careful. That's what I did and now I have the feeling that I built walls around me. My last relationship failed because I just refused to even talk about sharing finances/housing etc. After some work on myself I realized I had a lot of trust issues because my father made a lot of debts and financially sunk our family (I know it sounds obvious but I had to realize how much it affected me). I don't regret at all being independent, being a house owner, having my savings, my investments, my carreer and side studying to get a masters. I have a pretty awesome individual life with friends and hobby's and travelling. But it does feel lonely and it's difficult to find someone who's on my level.

[@gigggiii]

Good for you, my mom always told me to do the same thing

[@roxane1237]

@O. M. here i am, one year later and one year wiser. It's true what you say, well at least it's one part of the issue. Long story short, I did some "soul searching" (therapy , reading, etc basically redefining my life). My boyfriend did the same. So now we are back on the same train. I was very wary because I have a bad experience with guys not managing their money well. He grew a lot so now I've made a lot of progress into accepting to do it together. However it takes two to tango. It would have been stupid for me to get into a financial relationship with somebody who isn't responsible yet and it would have been stupid of him to be with someone who doesn't trust him. We both grew and now we do have a financial project together. Nonetheless I'm still happy I have a good situation that I built alone. Now a lot of my girl friends have very tricky situations (boyfriends in debt, no education or career, moms stuck at home with guys they don't like anymore) so even though I'm "late" I am thankful for my independence.

[@alezandradavila2581]

Yes me too

[@nataliekmaguire]

"Someone being annoyed or upset with you isn't the same thing as a problem you need to solve or a financial priority you need to accommodate." YAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS

[@princessbuttonz]

What a breath of fresh air this talk was! I'm at the top of the Millenial age range (38). As I was navigating major life choices around marriage / kids about a decade ago, I had few role models on which to draw and I definitely felt pressure to follow the social script despite being a well-educated urbanite woman. I learned the hard way why it is imperative to own my decisions as woman on the type of life I wished to have - especially in areas like marriage and children. I have learned to be very direct and clear with my (younger) partner about what I want out of my relationship and I hold space for him to do the same. And one last thing, I am childfree by choice. I am the only one of my female friends who made this choice and have encountered "you'll change your mind when you hit your 30s" countless times. Sure I had a couple of friends "change their minds" but the truth is they always left the door open for this whereas I have been adamant since I was young. Ladies listen up: If you know in your heart that motherhood isn't for you, TRUST YOURSELF!

[@petertaylor1548]

Really enjoying the conversation with regards to kids. It is something very important to talk about. My ex wife and I went into our marriage both on the same level of not having kids. During that time, I got a vasectomy. Years later, she changed her mind and had a strong desire for children. This is where our fundamental goals were different. With a very emotional, yet understandable divorce, we parted ways as a couple. Thankfully we are able to maintain a strong friendship and support each other. She is now a mother and is still with her partner. I like him too, and they treat each other well. He was even considerate enough to talk with me about everything. Point of this is even though we wanted it to be forever, it wasn't the right path.

[@calibby85]

Thank you for sharing! That's an ideal outcome given the difficult and unavoidable challenge you went through. I'm a woman who does not want children. Never have wanted them, and at 35 now I can't imagine ever getting that urge, for so many reasons. In my 20's I was always upfront with partners about not wanting children but still had a lot of anxiety that even if they said they were ok with it that they'd change their mind and we'd have to separate (that was never the reason for separations though). I've been happily single the last 2 years or so, and don't have any desire/plans to be in a relationship anytime soon, but I am wondering if once I'm ready to do so again, that I'll have just "aged out" of this issue. Not sure how old you are, but I'm curious that if you're in your 40s it's not really an issue anymore, which would be a huge relief...Though I'm guessing dating in your 40s comes with the new challenges, like only finding people who have children from previous relationships/marriages!

[@druskie4h]

I’m about to get married and we both don’t want children. However I do worry about this and that emotions will affect some big decisions. Of course we both want and plan for forever, but do we get a prenup when we don’t even have much and are still in debt - working on the debt? We plan to have joint accounts and do great working together financially. We just never know what’s going to happen in the future.

[@petertaylor1548]

@@druskie4h if you worry too much, you won't enjoy the life you are living. Sounds like you have a solid relationship with good communication and understanding. If things change, you know you were both honest at the start. I think you will do well with your partner.

[@petertaylor1548]

@@calibby85 you are right, I'm in my early forties now. The dating world has changed a lot. Yes, there are many single parents out there. I have been single for about two years now, and finally in a comfortable mindset about it. Work on yourself and just enjoy the little things. I'm comfortable not "seeking " a relationship, but I'm not running away either. If someone comes along and it just clicks, great, if not, also great.

[@FatimaLopez-jr1th]

That "going 50-50 is not always fair" is something I was having in the back of my head during the whole podcast until she said it. When my boyfriend and I started dating, we had to have the money conversation very early on, as he loves eating out, he is not someone who enjoys cooking at all. And I was making minimum wage, as an immigrant from Spain in London... It was a bit stressful on me to keep the feminist independent point of paying 50-50 and wanting to be with him but not bringing up that I'd rather do some free (museums, parks, walks...) or cheaper (meals and movie at a house, cinema date instead of dinner date...) things because of money. He sat me down to talk about it, because he noticed I was struggling with it. So we agreed on reducing the amount of more costly dates (and we were not going anywhere fancy, I just couldn't afford spending 70-80 pounds each week or so on "us", or even "me") and he would oay 2 of every 3 times because it was wjat was fair, as he was making approximately double of what I was making. It really helped set up a foundation for our relationship. 6 years later, I am almost at his pay level, living together and we are doing 50-50 in payments. We are indulging a bit more, because we are isolating almost completely, food options are not so good where we live now, and what else do we have to enjoy one year into lockdown? And we have a sort of hybrid model with our spearate paychecks for our own indulgences and needs (him videogames and some takeout on his own mainly, me books and meds and medical bills for my two newly diagnosed autoimmune diseases) and run numbers for common items regularly (rent, bills, movies we rent, groceries...).

[@BbyDAp]

"Our audience is basically all women" me: *shocked 20 y/o man*

[@valentinasanchez4902]

Universally useful information, though.

[@barvdw]

38M, but we are statistical outliers, I believe.

[@rafaelpolancomorales]

29M and I only answer to Jesus and TFD lol

[@Roll587]

Love that you're here, guys!

[@oceanwonders]

Being gay means a lot of "women" content can be relatable to me.

[@Jess_Smith0903]

As someone in the early stages of the “let’s move in together” conversation with my partner, this was so extremely helpful and highlighted so many important points that I hadn’t even thought about! Thank you!

[@Jess_Smith0903]

@@jerrymark9588 your (FAKE) account has been reported!

[@angelachiazzese]

My husband and call it simulation life. Before we bought our home, we lived the life as if we had that mortgage. When we finally purchased the home, there was no impact, and that extra money went to expenses and a little yeah we’re home owners trip.

[@seraph644]

Putting "I hope we always grow together, and never apart" is hardcore. I've never heard of anyone acknowledging --in their wedding vows-- that they might become incompatible people in the future, even though I think most people know it's a possibility

[@calibby85]

yes! I can imagine too that it would help those who are divorced feel less guilt and failure that runs so deep in society. not talking first hand but based on friends/fam who have gone through divorce i wonder if this acknowledgment would have helped them get thought it.

[@colintalbert9538]

As a 47 year old male I found this very insightful and relevant to my own marriage. Wish it had been there for me 10 years ago.

[@madeleineafridge]

Chelsea’s Marc accent has me dying 😂😂

[@DiamondNestEgg]

Agreeing not to agree on everything is one of the mantras of our marriage!

[@surlespasdondine]

Also important within (extended) families!!

[@DiamondNestEgg]

@@surlespasdondine Totally agree - especially if you’ve met mine 😂 my husband always tells me how grateful he is that he doesn’t understand Chinese!

[@surlespasdondine]

@@DiamondNestEgg haha I told my husbsnd early on to just let my Dad talk even if we don't agree with any of his opinions. I let him express himself like I would do with a toddler.😇😅

[@DiamondNestEgg]

@@surlespasdondine We do the same with both sets of parents - works like a charm!

[@karenborowick5983]

I'm happy to see that young women are being this open, honest and practical regarding marriage and children. Bravo!

[@valentinasanchez4902]

Joint finances vs separate. Marriage vs divorce. Children vs no children. *targeted* If you're unmarried. Listen to this 5 times and PAY ATTENTION.

[@rafaelpolancomorales]

The financial diet x Simply Nailogical *please*

[@nanspants]

Yes please!!

[@hollysmith7828]

I tried to like this comment so hard I nearly accidentally reported it 🙈 But seriously you’re both such great role models that have mature conversations about hard topics

[@Creamy_Goodness]

I feel like Simply Nailogical would ask too much money.

[@yvonne5698]

It’s finally happening!!!!

[@RachelKay528]

Pretty sure Erin was reading my mind about the whole kid/adoption/not sure if you even want them at all conversation. Every single thing. I feel seen lol

[@cifafs3]

Same!

[@maryssa8593]

One of the first things my fiancé and I discussed was money. I was a single mom who started working at 19 years old and became debt free for the first time after a divorce from someone ironically who was really bad with spending and debt (think around 75,000 in debt combined and my portion was about 2,000 😳). When my now fiancé and I got together I had just paid off all my bills and was debt free. I told him it was not something I ever wanted to go into again. Not everyone wants to wait to discuss that topic especially as a single mom. Love the conversation already though! ❤️

[@stavria-artemiselia8432]

Please do one of these episodes with Mark :) that would be hilarious

[@LindseyObrooke]

PLEASEEE!!!

[@colleenanne4032]

Super valuable and important conversation. Thank you for offering this for all genders and ages. As a woman who stepped out of her career to raise our family (would not change for the world) it meant that post divorce still with young kids I was restarting at minimum wage, cashed out my retirement to pay medical expenses, and watched the former continue to build a lifestyle that exceeded what we ever had. I was naive. Now with no retirement and debt and a pandemic etc it has been a challenge to figure out how to stop spinning.

[@kendallstark4302]

I LOVED this conversation! This and the one with the divorce lawyer have been the most valuable to be.

[@LindseyObrooke]

Thank you both for being so candid and vulnerable in your honesty about your own lives regarding these huge life decisions!! I'm sure it wasn't the easiest at all times, but you are saving people by showing them that it is okay to think, feel, and be as honest with yourself and others in these dynamics and major life decisions! Love you both! And actually laughed super hard because Erin is brought up with TFD so much I almost thought this was her second time on here!

[@randomizationme]

I wish you can put the topics on timestamps

[@TheGrownUpMillennial]

I'm surprised Chelsea didn't call Erin out on the post nups. The divorce lawyer guest she referenced previously warned her that post-nups were getting tossed out of court.

[@rowanwax]

I assume it’s because the option of a postnuptial is in the prenuptial.

[@LindseyObrooke]

I believe that lawyer said there is no way to make a prenup post marriage, but because Erin already has a prenup, it is likely a legal option to re-up the previous legal document if both parties are signing off on that. They would simply be adjusting something that already exists. You can't adjust something that doesn't exist, like having no prenup and then asking to make one.

[@TheGrownUpMillennial]

@@LindseyObrooke @LadyOrpheus @c.a.rowanwax I'm not talking about Erin's specific pre-nup set up. Before that, she makes a quick general recommendation to the listener that people get a post nup if they don't have a pre-nup, which Chelsea probably should've called out. Obviously its different in Erin's specific situation as she and her husband already have a pre-nup in place.

[@doomedwit1010]

It also depends on the state. Family Law is a matter of State law. Post nups are still valid in other states. Pre nups are stronger, but there are states that will find post nups are supported by valid consideration and enforceable... but they are scrutinized much more closely. That is also why if you and ypur spouse move to a new state you need to talk to a lawyer about the enforceability of your prenup.

[@camillacaloi4122]

The Marc impression is back! Yay!

[@amanda_the_alpha]

Omg I'm with her I'm 25 and growing up with a stay at home mom (parents had e at 20) and dad who was in total control of money and financial responsibility, I always said when married i'd want a joint account only for home expenses/food and thats it, then our own accounts ;

[@evannmarielaird4963]

I don’t think I could love TFD any more. They have totally changed my life. I’ve been here since the beginning and I’m so proud of them for how successful they’ve become. And Erin is amazing too!!!

[@thatjillgirl]

I am on Team Fully Joined Finances in Marriage, but I one hundred percent understand that for some people it works better to do the complete opposite or something in between. You have to do what works best for you and your partner.

[@tempotigga]

This was such a rich and enjoyable coversation! Thank you. I'm definetly reading Erin's book - although I'm from Kasachstan and living in Germany those topics are very much relevant for me.

[@AzulFyre]

This episode was amazing and hilarious. I loved that you went into detail about prenups, kids, combined finances, and all the potentially emotional stuff. Thank you.

[@calibby85]

Oh man, I'd love to just hang out and chat with these two funny, smart, hilarious women! Great convo all around.

[@leslieann364]

Fantastic conversation, ladies. Thank you for this!

[@annaward1923]

This is 100% the most insightful and helpful conversation I potentially have EVER heard about relationships. I know that it is centered around finances of them, but this is so incredibly insightful in so many ways and I just want to say thank you

[@jamkwasowski5207]

"You should have a castle!" ADORE pre-nup Chelsea 😂

[@ikilledthemessenger]

Great points. One thing to clarify: if you look at the CDC statistics, if you are a college-educated woman, your change of divorce drops to 20-30% depending on the age of marriage. There's a very comprehensive BLS report on the CDC website for those who are interested.

[@jellygurl27]

Delayed gratification is always beneficial in the long run!

[@devlinfae]

I need to get better at this. 🤣

[@d14551]

I agree that it's much more about the emotions than about the math, which is what, in my opinion, makes it so challenging.

[@Ecesu]

This was such a great conversation. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And love the way Erin talks about all this stuff! :)

[@fellowneurodivergent]

You have no idea how much I look forward to your podcasts

[@erika1935]

Great topics, thanks! One thing a friend told me once, in regards to a relative always asking me to visit is, "airplanes fly both ways"!

[@jordanmakesfinancevideos650]

Money is always a touchy subject

[@andreapoulieva6717]

Great conversation ! Two things really struck me while listening (stuff I knew but stuff that was just so painfully obvious now) : growing up, growing old, being married, being a parent, working etc in America is a VASTLY different experience that mostly anywhere else in the world (a million buck to raise a kid ??? Driving hours and hours or flying to gather with family members ? Having to open up a savings account in order to plan for a pregnancy ? That all sounds so nuts to me, from my European vantage point). And second, you wonderful, bright, beautiful, brilliant ladies are MASSIVELY privileged, and I say that with love, and respect. But, dang. You are 💟

[@Mackenziea2342]

Hi Chelsea! There are weird comments from a bot pretending to be TFD. I am sure people probably know it’s not legit but wanted to let you know!

[@collyflower6623]

Reporting all of those as spam 👍

[@jayeetadas6342]

Learned so many things from this beautiful conversation. Thanks TFD.

[@rowddyone2013]

my husband and I combined finances before marriage in college, we were both poor, been together 18 years... we had 1 son at 20, wanted to have 1 more but money there ( too may loans), so we waited, when loans were paid off at 34 and we tried to have more children we had 2 miscarriages, so something to think about when delaying to have kids.

[@SR-bc7nv]

100% I want kids but my bf doesn’t right now, I’m already 30 making 6 figures. With wanting several kids I almost just want to do it on my own

[@jelemil]

@@SR-bc7nv if you've been together more than a year I'd be asking about timelines

[@BioBioLove]

@@SR-bc7nv Speak to your partner about it and ask for a plan. Ok no kids now but when? Do not waste your time! Please do not take this the wrong way cause plenty of people have kids later in life! But I know for myself that when you want a baby and can afford it you should chase your dream! I know too many women stuck in relationships with men who are not ready yet.. No shaming to anyone who doesnt want kiddos, I just think its unfair for the people who do want kids to not have them! I love my husband to bits but if he didnt want kids we would not be compatible..

[@sandramarques6866]

@@BioBioLove Yes. This is very important to point. Let's not forget that, despite medical efforts available ($$$$$$$), women still have limited time frame to conceive. Even adoption is more complicated as an older person, so don't waist your time and your dreams.

[@BioBioLove]

@@sandramarques6866 Absolutely! Biology is not fair, sadly. Yes, science and medicine has made the impossible possible with assisted reproduction but there are no guaranties.. Also the procedures are far from pleasant, to active choose them if there is an alternative. In adoption, do they prefer younger parents? I didn’t know that but it makes sense.

[@LoganAllec]

8:27 there is definitely a right and wrong answer here

[@whiskychops]

"he would live like a monk, drinking green tea. and being FIRE" I suddenly feel less weird. thank you :)

[@katerinaschenke819]

I see wedding invitations as a bill as well!

[@MyahWorld]

Lol same! My husband calls them speeding tickets. Weddings and baby showers.

[@Tripsshetakes]

I feel we need to ‘re-brand’ the prenup. Maybe calling it a relationship agreement/contract, like on the show Big Bang Theory, it’ll check the stigma around a prenup

[@weirdrage]

Such a good interview thank you!

[@fakeusername92]

"Grizzled urbanite woman" < make the shirt, I will purchase

[@alecoloxa]

Im loving this series!!!!

[@alecoloxa]

@@jerrymark9588 scammer!!!

[@millennialbrice6330]

Hey Chelsea I loved this episode. As I do most of them. The value in the content is outstanding. Thank you 🙏 Keep up the excellent work. I was wondering if you (or a viewer) could link to a video where the topic of income inequality between partners is talked about in greater detail. I have grown my independence for a long time and take pride in my accomplishments. However, currently my partner makes 3x my salary and having this gap does at times make me feel like I contribute less to our financial future and diminishes my feeling of independence..

[@somethingcooliguess]

Deciding to move in is a great way to see a partners money behavior. Get to see credit report and debts while a 3rd party is the one asking for it. You get to see how they interpret your combined assets and the type of place they think makes sense.

[@geneveiveharper]

More Mark impressions!

[@samuelhastings6859]

Can The financial diet please put a time stamp on videos for each topic, thank you

[@shirleylangton7967]

A really interesting and helpful discussion.

[@Kellen_Quigley]

St. Bonaventure alumnus shout out! Erin graduated the May before my freshmen year, but I am good friends with someone a couple years older than me who knew her at Bona's. It really is a small world.

[@confusedcoffee3433]

This was a great interview!

[@MsKay-uo8ez]

The best episode yet!!

[@TopFloorChick]

lol this episode had me dying laughing - please make "grizzled urbanite woman" merch XD

[@cmartin7052]

Respectfully. Most people making $36k-$40k out here. Joint bank acct model does not work when you have kids, medical bills, unexpected home expenses, repairs, job layoffs and/or professional pivots. Regarding ALL the changes that occur in a marriage, it doesn't work. Been with my wife for 10yrs.

[@informedbeauty]

I thought the statistic of "50 percent of marriages end in divorce" was an outdated one. I remember reading an article about how divorce rates are dropping in western countries, and the 50 percent stat is no longer applicable. Anyone else heard of this? What are your thoughts?

[@L0VEisAmixtape]

I heard that those statistics are not specific enough, and they also have to take into account which marriage we are talking about. I read a newer statistic (sorry I don't have sources so keep that in mind) 40% of 1st marriages fail and 60% of 2nd marriages fail.

[@deneebex9760]

When it comes to finances, my husband and I are totally seperate. We both have our own types of budget on excel.... Never really crossed our minds to merge. We talk very openly about our budgets and regularly update each other on our debt, wealth, retirement, investing, etc. Only thing is I really want an SUV (used, mind you) and he thinks my 10 year old yaris i had since my first job works fine and we don't need an upgrade. I get it, i love my yaris and it works great, but i just want to be a tiny more comfortable on trips. We kinda end up looking like clown car when we take trips in it with our 2 dogs. We can afford it and it wouldn't interrupt our finanacial goals... so not sure how to handle that...

[@aleksandrasivolob]

Great conversations. I definitely need to write my will.

[@Eagle-eyedEve]

WOW great talk, I could hangout with the two of you.

[@kemisoremekun4887]

Complete aside to the conversation but I do love the sweater that you're wearing. It's really cool!

[@dawnhapgood2907]

I have experienced financial abuse in 2 previous relationships. I shared a savings account with the first partner and he emptied it of hundreds of pounds before he left me. On the second occasion, my partner lied to me about the cost of his mortgage so I basically paid his entire mortgage for him (plus bills - plus I was never even legally on the mortage documentation) he emptied the account and dumped me once he moved out of that house - along with an incredible amount of equity :( never again!!!

[@benjaminmeusburger4254]

I know that hinsight is 20/20, but whenever somebody wants your money (espescially friends/family) simply tell them to go to a bank. Banks are basically throwing money at people in the moment. The leading interest rates are at an all time low and the bank charges only some ~1.5% per year. If they are not eligable for a bank loan, then they have some seriouse issues and have to restructure their lives instead of leaching on your wallet. Should you really lend money in higher sums in your private circle: a) define regular payments pack b) a defined end-date c) draft a mini-contract and let the other person sign it

[@theangriestoftabbies]

Budgeting for a biological pregnancy is way different than IVF or adoption. Both cost wayyy more.

[@Cmena011]

What are some sources to find more information about prenups and how to get started? My partner and I are interested in getting a prenup.

[@aaronbono4688]

I think you need to look at the comments a lot more - not all of them are women. I'm not.

[@paperlionkid1787]

This is for the algorithm.

[@TheVintageGuidebook]

Anybody else still stuck on the very idea of spending as much as $1k on a couch, let alone THREE (11:25)? Just a joke, just a joke- but thank you so much for this interview! Miss the financial advice vids!

[@applecrave1097]

I am at that point though 😭💀

[@tatianawaldon4241]

Nope. When I did research a couple of years ago, I found out that you usually need to fork over heavy change for a piece that will last you a lifetime.

[@madeline5175]

Ooof...Chelsea revealed Peach's name.

[@devlinfae]

Where?

[@madeline5175]

@@devlinfae twice throughout the conversation. I didn't note exact times.

[@Havanah2006]

Omg loves this dialect 😍🥰😍

[@laurenconrad1799]

This might be just me, but it has been bothering me for a long time: TFD seems to be run by a bunch of women I would call serial monogamists. You guys never seem to talk to women who aren’t in a serious relationship by 27 or engaged by 30. What’s up with that? There are single ladies in their late 20s living perfectly happy lives but you so rarely seem to feature them. Is this just me noticing this?

[@wiltedspinachcat3472]

yes!! when it comes to having children, if it is not a FUCK YES, then it should be a FUCK NO

[@arturogomeztagle9250]

14:22 Start 14:42 Stop Plan Execute Realize

[@micahsabio6602]

So I have very close friends that I treat like my family but I have issues of me having a big debt burden right now that is solely on my own accord and I know it’s my fault I take my responsibility to that but I brought this up with my closer friends and they know how emotional this is affecting me greatly in a bad situation but they still want to do things that are spending like eating out and going on trips and basically doing a lot more into spending money related activities and I tried to tell them from time to time that I can’t afford any of it and they still do activities that they want me to come with them and do likewise so I am under a point where I am questioning their friendship if they don’t let me resolve this problem but be with them without spending anything ? How do I deal with them at this point ? Anyone can give an advice

[@misa5941]

They are entitled to want to spend money. And it’s ok that they ask you, as long as they accept a polite no. I’d suggest that you give them a list of things that you’re able to do e.g . A couple of free things, a couple of super cheap things etc. and say that you need them to do some of the things as meet up options. Alternatively just say no when they ask saying “I’m not able to do that and I hope you enjoy it. And how about we meet on X day to do Y (event from list). “ If they are not willing to be flexible then maybe recalibrate how close a friend they are.

[@TH-eb5ro]

Let's stop considering shopping/spending as a hobby, a pastime for women and her value stops there.

[@triciahere]

Erin sounds like Rachel Dratch for me

[@alexsamatorchen97]

While I think this was a helpful and interesting conversation, I wish this was more of a dialogue, instead of 2 or 3-minute monologues by both people. Chelsea seemed to indicate that they are friends, but that didn't exactly come across in this conversation. This seemed almost too professional. This might just be a result of editing, but I wish this was more of an insightful conversation between two friends. I think that other guests connected more with Chelsea emotionally and were able to have a little bit more fun. I will say that the conversation got better during the "rapid-fire" questions.

[@OnThatNoteWithPenelope]

Chelsea is the twin sister I never had!

[@OnThatNoteWithPenelope]

@@jerrymark9588 Fraud!!!

[@kristenpringle1635]

I hope she educated herself on minimalism.

[@katelynozdemir7536]

If you think milk is great wait until you try almond milk

[@danielmoore1232]

Easy fix. Don't get married. Not ever. Build your empire by yourself, for yourself.

[@omowhanre]

So sad. I'm sorry.

[@georgeindestructible]

What's so difficult to tell who put how much money into an account? There are logs for that, and if you want to keep things more clear, you can simply keep one separate account for each partner and then one additional that is common which both can deposit whatever is need to split the bills. You can do a lot more with that concept i am just pointing out it's not an impossible thing as you make it sound, does it take more effort yes, but do you want to be transparent, reliable and trustworthy to your partner, then you need to do the sacrifice for that so does the other side.

[@___melanie]

That’s great in theory, but if two people have different goals or one isn’t honest it can turn into a nightmare situation of the finances are combined. I don’t think I’ll ever trust someone else with my finances again.

[@Jeremy-fy1sz]

So, you could totally hoard your way to wealth. I don't have statistics on this, but so many people get screwed by financial advisors and give up on investing/ saving money. But you could 100% save and retire with a pension and a million dollars in your savings account making 1% without too much issue. Just saving in the normal and boring way, no risk, no reward, just cash in the bank.

[@deathwolfs69]

Inflation kills your wealth though . You would have to work some much to do that

[@Jeremy-fy1sz]

@@deathwolfs69 You're absolutely right. But we all have to work anyway.

[@saschamayer4050]

Ok

[@saschamayer4050]

00:40:00

[@saschamayer4050]

00:55:00

[@saschamayer4050]

01:10:28

[@saschamayer4050]

19:33

[@georgeindestructible]

How isn't 50/50 fair?

[@theangriestoftabbies]

If one person makes 400k and the other makes 40k?

[@dyhppyx]

Chelsea, you talk like a Karen that people would hate but your content and wisdom are unquestionably awesome:)

[@MeZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ]

47:46 "50/50 isnt fair" please explain that one ms equality feminist.

[@madeline5175]

Well, I'll use myself as an example. I make $103k per year. My partner makes $60k. Because I make much more, it makes sense for use to split our expenses 60/40.

[@notatrick88]

@@madeline5175 way to own that idiot lol

[@meanoldbag]

something tells me neither of these women have strong relationships with God and or faith (religion - yes, I said it)

[@tahirisaid2693]

Financial books have been so helpful. I’m 54 and my wife 50 we are both retired with over $3 million in net worth and no debts. Currently living smart and frugal with our money. No longer putting blames on FED for our misfortunes. Saving and investing lifestyle in the stock market made it possible for us this early, even till now we earn weekly.

[@tahirisaid2693]

Credits to *ROCHELLE DUNGCA-SCHREIBER,* she saw me through the process. You can glance her name up on the internet and verify her yourself. she has years of financial market experience....

[@oceanwonders]

I realize that I will never consider being with someone seriously who isn't willing to freely talk about money.

[@elizabethcarr3574]

I think people should treat friendship like that too. every so often just check in with the other person.. Friendship can be the same as a romantic relationship.

[@bethanymcmurtrey9542]

My mom is a banker and whenever she's teaching a client about financial responsibility, she tells them about my dad slicing his foot open with a round saw, it happened over 20 years ago and he's fine. Money and everything associated with it are tools and if you know how to use them, it helps you immensely in life. If you don't know how to use it, use it carelessly, or, like my dad and his saw, simply not pay enough attention, it can hurt you very badly.

[@Baruch1girl]

I am soo glad you addressed the financial expense surrounding family gatherings... not to mention work/associates who have weddings, wedding showers, baby showers etc. half these people I am no longer in contact with. This video was great.