Self-Loving and Single. Let's Talk About Solo Happiness..

[@La_Dame_aux_chats]

After 2 marriages and divorces I discovered that being single is actually the fkn best 😄 love you to bits Kelly Ann 💜 🌿

[@ThomasWBaldwin]

alone 14 years now. two ex wives, 3 adult kids and $300 a week child support for 6 more years. i am secure in my separate world. life is all around me; and its not human. i'll stay with the wild animals and insects that bite; thank you....

[@russellstephen6998]

Kelly-Ann, some of my BEST memories from university involve walking to the nearby movie theatre late at night to see the last showing of a movie and coming out at 1am to the crisp night air and walking to my dorm. I joined a movie pass club so I’d get a free ticket once a month and I would always look forward to my solo movie journey.

[@meadowrae1491]

I'm aromantic and asexual. I am not repulsed by sex, but I don't need it in my life. I cannot see myself ever being happy in a romantic partnership, or in a cohabiting situation where there is ownership involved. Those relationships have always felt like a cage, and in my 30's I'm finally starting to be honest with myself and acknowledge that the "right person" doesn't exist for me. The whole concept is just wrong for me. I thought I would be terribly lonely, but my friendships have grown so much, I'm a better parent to my son, I have so much more authenticity in my life.

[@teresahollar3646]

I've been happily married for 30 years....but the most important and loving relationship I have is with myself. The cheese stands alone always. Your relationship with yourself IS the most important one. Nurture it and cherish it! When our relationship with ourselves is flourishing, it makes the world a better place...always. 💗

[@ms.fruitbat8883]

As someone who is aro ace, being single is my natural state of being. I like having my own space and time to myself, in fact, I need that.

[@oliviahester5900]

Loved this discussion. As a longterm single gal, it's frustrating when people take pity on me when they find out i choose not to date. While I agree it is an awesome and amazing feeling to be in love, dating culture and obsession over finding a next romance is extremely unhealthy if one is trying to heal. Depending on where a person is in life, singledom can be bliss rather than a curse.

[@bohemianslouch3749]

i’ve been in a pretty toxic relationship for almost 4.5 years now, with no viable end in sight (crying), and i miss being single so much. i LOVE being single. i’m always at my best and my healthiest and happiest when i’m single, and i’ve always lost myself in relationships. it’s so not okay. thank you for this video, everything you said is so nourishing and refreshing and gives me hope. i’m so glad you’re doing better and have healed so much from that relationship. love you dearie 🙏🏼💓💓💓

[@bohemianslouch3749]

ps we broke up, i ended things 2.5 weeks ago, y’all!!! 🙏🏼💫✨

[@lunar3n]

@@bohemianslouch3749 how are you doing now?? congratulations!!

[@antwanzhane]

what i love is how useful this all is--even when/if you're in deep connections, even when you're open to/hopeful about the potential of these connections, even when you're just doing your own solo-dolo thing

[@bonnyevaknuktan3219]

love this, I went on a vacation alone earlier this year, on a 6 day trip to turkey to visit some ancient sites and just sit there and be. I am really starting to love the single me.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Sounds gorgeous 😍

[@veritehunter2191]

I'm not single but still take myself on dates, I've found it really important to keep my sense of self. ;)

[@vespermeier9265]

You've got to take a trip to the cinema on your own. It's a gorgeous experience.

[@sinjaja5836]

I started dating again after 15 years of being single and it's not going great ... Love the Idea of self Dating , will do that for sure. Thanks!

[@janeconway6590]

I'm solo polyam. I do have a partner I spend time with occasionally but they are a lot busier than me and date several other people, so I spend the majority of my time alone, and it's mostly pretty perfect for me. I have a lot of previous relationship trauma I'm working through, and feeling smothered by a relationship is really triggering for me. I'm demisexual, so I don't really see me being with anyone outside of current partner and myself. I live alone and I'm very good at solo dates. It's always so good to see people talking about being happily single/unpartnered/self partnered.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Solo polyam is the BEST. 😍

[@schizorap]

A person that can be content alone is a powerful person, thanks for posting ❤️

[@christinecassidy2689]

Single, child free and happy ❤

[@evergreenforestwitch]

Love this as usual. As a forever single, aroace individual I wholeheartedly delight in all content that offers singleton as a healthy and valid option. Thanks!!

[@meadowrae1491]

Also aroace! It only took a few marriages to figure it out.

[@evergreenforestwitch]

@@meadowrae1491 I get that. I didn't realize I was aroace until I was 42. It's not like we are actually presented with NOT MARRYING as a viable option. God forbid. I'm delighted you did figure it out, though. Such a relief, huh?

[@meadowrae1491]

@@evergreenforestwitch it is! I think what made it difficult to figure out is that it's the ONLY viable relationship option presented. Being too close to your friends is "weird," then when they get married that relationship all but disappears, so I felt compelled to find a partner because...all my friends were going away. I think I tried to make romance work for so long out of loneliness moreso than anything else. If I lived in a closeknit community I probably wouldn't have even tried

[@evergreenforestwitch]

@@meadowrae1491 I absolutely get that. Because yes, romantic relationships seem to be the only type it's culturally normal to invest in as adults, which frankly puts way too much pressure on marriages to provide ALL social needs for someone as well treating anyone who isn't playing that particular game as if they don't matter. I do long for a found family/close knit community at some point, too, but I feel like my whole country is a dumpster fire at the moment (US) and I want the flames to die down before I really explore into my community with this in mind.

[@meadowrae1491]

@@evergreenforestwitch I also live in the US. In West Virginia, no less. I feel you.

[@Angela-1974]

I went to a gig last night by myself and I had one of the best nights of my life 😁 I have days where I'm happy that I'm single and then I have days where I feel really lonely and long to have a partner to share my life with. My last 2 relationships were not healthy and I don't want to go through that again. Great video, thank you for sharing ❤️🙏

[@ladyamalthea85]

Whilst I'm very happy in my current 3 partnerships, my last long term relationship did serious damage to me and I needed time alone to heal. I'm a bit addicted to romantic love so I struggled with the alone bit, I won't lie. Still healing, but definitely in a better place than I was. I spend a lot of time by myself and I really want to treat myself better.

[@emmaythegray]

I love everything about this. I have been single since 2008, and have spent every moment since improving my life and my self. Around the time covid hit I thought I was ready to "get back out there" but I am grateful that the lockdown taught me I was not there yet, and needed to do a LOT more healing work. I have spent these 10+ years forming new friendships, jumpstarting a stalled creative life, and just generally spending time in ways that bring me happiness. I agree that there are times when I have to allow myself to notice that I feel a lack; the door is a tiny bit open to whatever comes next, romantically, but for now, I am so so happy.

[@_Magpie_]

Not single, but making a lot of progress on my self love journey, and I resonate with so much of what you said. Thank you so much for sharing this. 💞

[@autumnsmith3585]

I am single and have been intermittently, and I think I have spent more time in self reflection & in deep thought about Many things & topics during my life than those I personally know who have Always been with somebody. I understand about time and money and dates with yourself too. Sometimes it is so deep, so profound to experience an event alone...without somebody talking or distracting. I will share a moment I was so happy to have alone: a few years back I came home from work one night, it was pretty late. It had snowed earlier in the evening. The sky was grey with snow clouds. Every Christmas light in the neighborhood was still on and was reflecting off the sky. I felt like I was in a lighted snow globe. It was silent. I cannot describe the magic. I love going to movies alone. I choose the movie and I choose where I sit.

[@irishcladdagh3]

I am 3mths out of a 13 yr textbook narcissistic relationship....ROMANCE/LOVE/TRUST has died for me...I am in my healing process and the trust and trauma issues of my past made romantic relationship hard to achieve....but this narc abuse has changed me like nothing else...I thank Goddess for being with me and guiding me throught this nightmare and enjoying my freedom....I can relate to this video on so many levels....making the best of living a single life is the best journey we can give ourselves...THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU DO FOR US 💜💚

[@ConnietheVirgo]

I have been single for about 8 years after being in one relationship after the other over many years. I set it in my mind to stay single for awhile and its been the best time of my life in terms of growing as a person, and learning to love my own company. i get so much of the different things you mentioned about the pluses and minuses of it, and you have reminded me that I need to date me more and do some cool stuff. 😁

[@corinaklies681]

I have been single for the last 15 years. It has been a journey, for sure. There have been periods of that time where I really missed having a romantic relationship. I am so glad you spoke to this aspect. I have had times when I have been deeply, painfully yearning for a romantic connection - to the point of betraying myself and my boundaries and values. But, more often, I have really enjoyed and treasured being single.It has helped me realize that some of the sharing I did with a partner wasn't always appropriate, and possibly even harmful to my partner. Being single has helped me develop who I am and what I want from life. Being single has helped me realize that I was spending all of my time in a kind of enmeshment when I was partnered. Being single has allowed me to full on dive deeply into my spiritual beliefs and practices, go on outings and decide if I want to stay out late or come home (no worrying about and managing someone else's feelings). I was in a relationship for 18 years starting at age 19. I never got a chance to figure out who I was. That relationship was significant and important, and is why I have a lovely daughter. I am not trashing that, at all. Just realizing that was a chapter in my life. Saying all of this is really weird for me because I am a deeply romantic soul. Always have been, and always will be - but I am realizing that romance can be with myself, nature, and the world around me. When my partnership was over, part of the reason was because I came out as a lesbian. Looking back on my 37 year old self - I would offer her advice (because that is what I do - lol) - but I know she/I would not have taken it. It was something I just had to live through and deal with day by day. I could not imagine being a lesbian and not being in a relationship. Today, I have a lot of compassion for who I was then and all of her/my struggles. I am not against being in a relationship - but I do know that I am not wanting a live-in situation, or one it which I give up my needs for others. That happened in a friendship after we had been lovers, and I eventually realized that I was fantasizing about who we might become togehter - just the friendship was a proxy for that. I gave her all of me, and got nothing in return (specifically, friendship-wise). I was being unfair, and not recognizing and being honest with myself about wanting to possibly getting with her again romantically. That is a set up for nothing good. Finally learned that lesson and got out of my fantasy world based on a situation where I felt like I was being used by her. Actually - I was using her, if I am completely honest with myself. I can be mad at her all day long, but I was giving her liscence to treat me unkindly because I was also using her as a crutch. I am sure all of this is TMI - but it feels cathartic to just say it to a bunch of strangers on the internet. Facing my needs, my demons, my part in a damaging friendship is healthy for me. End of story is that I am open to what comes next - be it singlehood or partnership, and doing it because there is genuine, kind, loving connection and not because I am yearning.

[@chocolatesugar4434]

I love those romantic solo moments 🥰

[@KatyKat422]

When I go to the movies alone I try to go to an afternoon showing on a weekday, rather than a Saturday night. It is far less crowded, and there aren’t nearly as many couples. I have gone on weekends too, but just to get your feet wet you might consider a weekday afternoon. I’ve been single a long time, and I go out to restaurants alone, I’ve gone to a concert alone when my friend flaked on me last minute, lectures, etc. I just came to the understanding that I would be depriving myself of EVERYTHING if I insisted on having someone sit across from me holding my hand.🤷🏻‍♀️ Love your channel, and the knowledge and inspiration you share with all of us.🙏🏻🧙‍♀️💚

[@mckohtz]

Thank you for the reminder to go on romantic dates with myself. I am in a good long-term (+22year) relationship with my husband but sometimes I need me time.

[@achilleus9918]

as an asexual and aromantic person, this is fascinating. i've thought for a while that if i weren't already ace/aro i'd engage with relationship anarchy, which basically involves not labelling or defining relationships (eg as romantic, platonic, etc) and simply determining between you and the other person what you do and don't want to do (so you might have a person you have sex with and a person you cohabit/raise children with and a person you go on highly elaborate dates with, and you call all of them "friends") and usually all of those relationships are of equal importance, at least in theory. the only reason i'm not a relationship anarchist is because i don't feel sexual attraction, and don't want to do most of the things people see as romantic (eg i hate kissing). i was 100% happy being single forever until a couple of years ago when i mentioned being ace/aro to my mum, and she said she was kind of sad and worried that i would be alone forever. when i said "i have friends, i'm not alone" she asked "but what about when your friends have partners, and they live with them, and you don't?" i can't seem to shake the fear that that will happen. it's already happening a little bit - friends who i used to be very close to now have partners (i'm 24, so just at the start of friends getting married and such) and those partners are their priorities. i can't imagine my friends not being my priority - so they're "my people" but increasingly i'm not "their person". there's a level of emotional and physical closeness that i need, that everyone probably needs, and that i see as completely platonic but that a lot of people see as either inherently romantic or as only platonic so long as you're single (ie it's fine to share a bed with a friend UNLESS you have a partner and then suddenly it's cheating). it worries me that there might come a time when all my friends see me as "just" a friend in comparison to their partners, and that i will be an outsider to their little nuclear families. i can do stuff my/with myself, i can prioritise myself - but i *want* to do things seen by others as romantic, both frivolous things like holding hands or cuddling while watching films and bigger things like being each others' first port of call for emotional support in both good and bad times, without being seen as imposing on their "more important" romantic relationships. i want emotional and physical closeness without the expectation that that means i want to kiss them or prioritise them over other equally close friends or see them naked, and i worry that that will be increasingly hard to find or negotiate as i get older. tying this ramble back to self love, for me it's been self-loving to allow myself to ask friends for hugs when i need to, to do things for them even if i worry that it will be misconstrued as romantic (this works because i'm very open about being aro so it *shouldn't* be misconstrued, and i generally trust my friends to let me know if i cross a boundary or make them uncomfortable), to feel the butterflies that come with being platonically infatuated with someone ("god my friend's so cool, he's so talented, i love being around her, they're make me feel safe" etc) without worrying that i'm "too obsessed", etc. saying "i need them, i love them, i am practically in love with them in a platonic way" is scary because i don't think they feel the same way. but i need to give them the chance to say/show me if they do or not.

[@yunglynda1326]

i relate to this so much i get super infatuated with people and it scares me so much, ive never so much as gone on a date. i get very emotionally intimate with the people i consider my best friends and as they get more focused on their own lives ive been craving more and more of what i might consider romantic love. and the craving aspect also scares me

[@upendasana7857]

I think we live in a culture that puts far too much store in couples and this small nuclear family set up.There are many people in couples who still get lonely,still get bored. This coupledom culture really does not serve us and we need much bigger networks of connection and community in this country. There are families who also have little contact with so few other people in their lives and its very unhealthy I think personally. People in Britain particularly have very small social circles and few belong to communities as they use to like church. You can be lonely ina couple even in a good healthy couple.Like Esther Perel says we look to our partners for so many of the things we use to look for in other places and insititutions,we want them to be our lovers,friend,counselor,parent for our children,our playmate...etc.yes many people might have a network of friends and social activities where they source other interests and energy but many do not especially I think in Britain where I think our social circles are quite small. People who are single can have bigger social networks than those who are single.Some people who are single do more and explore way more than a person in a couple.Obviously a couple who explore together and let one another go off to explore is probably the perfect combination but rare

[@bethysbarn]

49:15 yes!!! I’d love to spend the day pampering and watching period dramas with you! 😂🥰❤️❤️❤️ that’s a top tier date night right there! ❤️❤

[@LavenderHazelwood]

I've been single for 2 years now and it's the first time in my life that I've really enjoyed it. I think partially because I'm old enough now that my hormones aren't raging anymore but also I realized that the relationship was more stressful than not and when I broke it off it was like a weight that had come off. I must say that most of my relationships have felt this way. I now see that the highest and most in love I can get is not communing with someone else but rather finding it in relationship to experiences that I have or appreciation for someone else when there is no sex or coupling involved.

[@horrorbookhellhound387]

Newly single and this is helping me so much. Thank you. ❤️

[@milosalminen8880]

Yes! Thank you for sharing your inspirin thoughts. I've been single by choise for quite a few years now, just reacently opend up to the thought that a romantic relationship could be cool and nice. Have had a ton of healing to do. During these single times I've learned I really, really, REALLY love doing things by myself, trying out new things, going to events, just giving myself and my own experience all of my attention. This is something I will never again compromise in any relationship.

[@autumnrain814]

I’ve been single for a long time, about 5 years now (recovering from an abusive relationship unfortunately). But honestly l’m enjoying it. The best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had I had as a single person. I bought myself some nice chocolate truffles and some white wine. Had a nice bubble bath, then turned on some string lights I had up in my room for ambiance and enjoyed my truffles and wine while binge watching a tv show. I loved it! Thank you for sharing this, I’ve got some new ideas for fun stuff I can do! Love your content so much 💖

[@jamieconley797]

I’ve been out of the last relationship for a dozen years. And I’m very happy being single. It can be such a liberating and cathartic thing. And I relate to what you put down here. ✌🏻

[@alute5532]

Something without yearning towards someone.. That something I want people to have more Don't lose self completely for somebody else Being single leads you to fast track lots of ideas Connection was damaging left me feeling Discombobulated (was not myself) Needed to come back to me

[@PoetryPerscription]

Lovely words and sharing. Thank you for that. I went to the movies for the first time alone just last week. I saw The Banshees of Inishirin. It was at a cinema where the seats recline. I was so excited. It was maybe not the best choice of movie for me to go to alone - very dark. I'm glad I went alone as I will go more often in the future. I have been partnered and married for 37 years. What you share holds true really if we are with someone as well - so many good frames for how to look at our own personal journey with aloneness. I love your work.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Amazing! Thank you for sharing and for pointing out that quality solo time is wondrous for partnered people too. 😁🍿🎬

[@redsamson0023]

i ❤️ u, Ms. Kelly Ann!!! you’re my favorite uk witch from across the pond!!! cheers from the states. “better solitude than poor accompaniment.”

[@autimarie]

So grateful for you. Nursing heartbreak today. This is the perfect place for it. Might need some vegan pizza too. Yes to high quality solitude!

[@shannonpotts2846]

I related to everything you've said here regarding relationships, except the whole 'being good at romantic relationships', cos my lack thereof is what made me decide to stay completely single for the first time in my life (no dates, no relationships, no hookups, nada). After repeatedly dating the same guy just wearing different skinsuits for most of my adult life I decided enough was enough, so for the past 3 years I've just been doing my own thing, trying to heal and figure out why I somehow subconsciously manage to choose the least emotionally available person in the room to give all my love to. I do miss the connections sometimes, but honestly, it's been both very hard and really great, and absolutely the right choice for me

[@anabeth60]

I have been single for the last 5 years and there is one thing that I discovered I think a year ago or something, and that is a different definition of love. Because, as you said Kelly-Ann, in media, there is always this picture drawn of friendships being cool and romantic relationships being the absolute tip of existence. And for me, that is not the case anymore. I was thinking about bringing those two on the same level and then realized, that friendships are also relationships in wich we can have a LOT of love. And there are some very close friends to whom I sometimes also say "I love you" and really mean it! (I'm German and we don't say these things normally, "I love you" is often something we only say in romantic relationships) So being single made me realize, that really deep love can be in many more places than just romantic relationships. And that also helps me to not yearn for romantic relationships, because I can remember myself in these situations, that I already have very deep and loving relationships. Of corse there are still some points that differentiate these two types of relationships, but the line for me became much more blurry.

[@liristargazer]

I have been single since my 15+year friendship and marriage exploded in December 2017. My entire life winked out of existence. That whole experience destroyed me literally, figuratively, emotionally, in every way you can imagine. I was dead. Gone. I had to move 800 miles away to even begin to heal. Mentally I had to fight my way through cold, screaming, wailing darkness to try to remember who I was before that relationship. I consciously scrabbled around for bits of myself to begin rebuilding my identity. It has been a long road. Now almost every minute of my life is spent in peaceful, silent solitude. I am so saturated with the images and sounds of the world that I am not sure I will remember how to include romance with another human into my day-to-day. And… honestly… I am starting to wonder if I even want to. Being alive is a heady, trippy, magickal experience when one includes story and devotion and the whispered dialogues that go on between us and our world. I am never going to put myself at that level of risk again. Ever. As flawed as I know it is, I believe trusting in another person is a fool’s errand and will only end in tragedy. Pardon the cuss word, but f that. Not worth it. Not by a long shot.

[@leannakekai162]

I am coupled, but I related so much to so many things you mentioned. There are so many juicy little nuggets of wisdom here that I can benefit from. Thank you for the wisdom and this burst of inspiration. ❤️

[@clairefletcher1993]

Thank you for this video! ❤️ I'm doing the same atm and have been the last year or so, it's been super helpful, learning to love myself

[@Zullala]

Oh I'm so excited to watch this! I'm going to save it for Monday while I'm working. I'm sewing up Baphomet dollies for an art market 🥰. Thanks for giving me this amazing mind food to listen to while I sew.

[@bobsrussi598]

Atm I'm really struggling with the fact I love romantic love and I've been single my whole life. turning 24 soon and it scares me that time has passed so fast and I'm still no closer to even being confident enough in myself to ask someone out. I'm glad for the time I spent on myself but it's hard being trans and never sure whether someone sees you for you...

[@beanbaghagwag]

My "me time" has been so important to me. Working the night shift, it was never an issue to be sure I had enough time for myself. Now that I work day shift and my husband has retired, it has become harder to have that time. I am grateful to have a husband who knows how important this time is for me and he makes certain I have the time I need for my "me time". It is so important for my mental health, spiritual practices, and self care. He might argue this point but it is important for my husband to have his own time as well. Thank you for sharing this Kelly Ann. I am so sorry for the loss you suffered with the death of your brother. Wrapping you in love darling.

[@annaarwen4345]

Its weird that I like that yearning feeling. I admit I might enjoy the thrill of attraction.Theres something thats driving and inspiring about it. Its very intoxicating to have mutual discovery of someone in a deep way. This is a big lesson for me to experience this romance with life itself because I recognise ive focused all that beautiful hope into another person. Its not fair or healthy.

[@gabyhagemann3319]

Thanks for that uplifting video, Kelly-Ann! I really like the cosy intro.⛈️

[@unchamanenville]

You are a wind of healing - Thank you💗

[@TheWitchInTheWoods]

Very honest chat. Much as I fight against it, I am actually very much at peace with being single. At peace enough to really evaluate any potential change, and most of the time, there hasn't been a better way.

[@emilyhall7810]

I love this video so much. You made a great point about not indulging in overly romantic media when you feel it's rubbing off on you in a bad way. I don't think I've ever thought of it like that. It has been too long since I've planned a proper date with myself, but I tend to find them necessary even when I'm in one or more relationships. Whether it's taking myself to a movie that I know my partners don't want to see or having a nice lunch out with a book and a tasty drink. I forget how nice dates in can be, though sometimes that is harder to carve out when living with others. I definitely need to plan my next solo date!

[@squidiki]

I'm a little late to this video, but the issue I come in contact with is that feeling of incredible loneliness while being alone. Does anyone have perspective on this situation?

[@kelleypopelar3162]

Could you make some updates throughout February and the season that is all about love. Especially everything about self love and love without being in a relationship with someone else. I’d also like opinions and suggestions for rerouting many of these things done in relationships back towards oneself. I am single for the past few years but haven’t really considered it like that nor really thought about it as a good thing… it just is. I also continually find it hard and miss/need/ yern for aspects of a relationship. I would really appreciate these topic discussions from someone else who is in the same space as me and is happy with it and able to implement at the same time. I understand that you are working on healing from your past relationship and have pain and stress issues alongside it , I hope that these conversations aren’t too triggering for you to make videos on. If any topics come up that trigger you too much please don’t push yourself to make videos on those topics and know that I will appreciate whatever you do put out on these topics.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Are there specific questions you have for me that I could consider making into a video? This might make it easier for me to know what would be of benefit.

[@ElizabethMagicalGarden]

You are the truth my love, like I can totally feel your sprite❤️ it’s crazy I feel you on soooo manny levels for sure💯👌🏽

[@ThomasWBaldwin]

be well Kelly-Ann Maddox.

[@SumiOccult]

Great Kelly-Ann.

[@tarotmumma56]

I'm married but I do need to incorporate more self love and dates for myself solo into my life. I have chronic illness therefore I not only have romantic connection with my husband but I also rely on him a lot due to my health. I would really like to start making a conscious effort to connect loving to myself more so thank you for bringing this to my attention.

[@PandorasExecutioner]

This was so wonderful!! Interestingly, i applied your single self talk to how i feel towards friends. Im one of those ppl who militantly support single life haha. So instead I've glorified soulmate ride or die friendships. This video is helping me feel better about time with my partner and time with just me, instead of overgiving to friends lol

[@BethanyBuffington]

I’ve been single and not looking for nine months. It’s such a deep healing time for me, processing childhood trauma, learning to sit in the discomfort I happily ignored while being in love. Love is delicious but it was a distraction from what needed processing. Thank you for this. I needed this reflection exactly today.

[@meggforêt]

This video is beautiful thank you 🥰 also your hair😍✨💕

[@AnyaEsma]

This was great, thank you! And as someone who's in a relationship and sometimes wishes I was single, I really resonated with what you said about accepting and understanding where the desire to be in romantic love vs. be single is coming from and that it's not a bad thing. As you said, even the most free and beneficial relationship feels limiting sometimes (like coordinating events, having less alone time, doing less with friends etc.). It's normal to then sometimes think "This would be more fun if I was single", just like it's normal to think "This would be more fun if I was in a relationship" if you're single. Contrasting/contradictory feelings are a part of life, and often people overvalue these sorts of emotions. There are intuitive pangs that show you when it's time to make a change, but confusing them with small contrasting feelings is not helpful. And of course it's important to reflect on your wishes, but just because you sometimes think "I wish I was single", that doesn't mean your relationship is bad for you -- just like thinking "I wish I wasn't single" doesn't mean your single life is bad for you. Thanks for making this video, many points you touched on, I totally feel!

[@JB-rl4ik]

💗 you’re videos have always been so positive for me over the years

[@TheBoomshakalaka13]

i really love everything you've said in this video, i relate heavily!! id love to hear your perspective for someone thats neverrr had a romantic partner and wants to sort out...like why this is a type of connection has not come around for me but also the changes that are noticiable when moving from solo to romance

[@maaryxart1170]

I really enjoyed this. I love the idea of taking myself on dates :)

[@Jerrytheworm]

Thank you for everything Kelly-ann

[@upendasana7857]

..also the cinema is the perfect thing to do alone..its just you and the screen ina darkened room..heaven! oh and maybe a packet of popcorn or maltesers.Agreed theres no one to discuss it with afterwards which is abit of a bummer but maybe we should start group cinema trips like they have community walks or book clubs etc.Maybe there is a cinema meet up group

[@calsannepotgieter4200]

This discussion really resonated. Currently heart broken and sulking. My partner of 6 years left me toward the beginning of the year. It was something I could feel coming. But the finality hurt. It hurts so much. After much soul researching I've come to realised that I'm on the asexual spectrum. And moving forward I'm pondering alternate romantic relationship structures. I've only had 2 partners in the past. But I really think I need to align more on interests and expectations. I don't want to be a house plant. I want to be a companion. Lol

[@katatarot597]

Wonderful! 💜💯

[@deborah3250]

I am 38 and I feel like I've missed the boat. I'm also conflicted about how comfortable I am with this because I love being alone, having solitude and only being accountable for myself. I do get lonely and I feel like my obsessions are what keep me alive. I'm not agoraphobic but just leaving the apartment is difficult because any time I attempt social interaction, it's a let down so often that I expect to have an unpleasant time. I'd rather stay indoors with books and FPS and try to get a workout in. That's self love right?

[@pamelajackson9302]

I'm with I guess what you call a partner it's not romantic but we do enjoy each other's company but we both give each other space.i am lucky our believes are the same so we don't have to keep anything hid from each other my MS and spine engry puts me in a alot pain at times and he is very helpful I guess I would call it two good friends who respect each other.

[@mrsllcp]

Great video as always!

[@LouValcourt]

Yes to Sense and Sensibility! ❤️

[@joewittig5108]

I was military and sacrificed so many years until don’t ask don’t tell was repealed and after I finally got married three years later, this person doesn’t talk and he doesn’t have any spirituality and we are now separating and I’m having to start over, so oh my gosh, do I understand!

[@skohtihamilton9443]

You have cool, 70's hair!

[@bluebird6883]

I really want to enjoy being single, but it's been two years or so, and in that time, I've hung out with friends like 8 times. In two years! I live with my mum and love her, my dad lives somewhere else for work but visits when he can, I love them and I work from home. None of that is an issue, but I've just found it so so hard to make friends. The only people I'm most close to, are on a different continent. I live in the country, so pretty far a away from most things, there's no public transport and I'm not super comfortable driving to the city yet :P I do martial arts but don't really get along with anyone there. It's always ben super hard for me to make friends, deep friends at least, and I don't want any of the superficial, party kind of friends like I had in highschool. Is it always this hard to make friends as an adult?? To me it's not a problem of wanting a romantic relationship, but just any relationship at all :( There's been some value in that too (having more time and spending less money, mostly), but after two years I just feel so so lonely.

[@jeffandtammyharris7988]

We love you

[@soniasulaiman]

This is giving me a lot to chew. I'm quoiromantic-- a kind of aromantic where I don't understand romance as such. I have very intimate relationships that sound a lot like how you describe romance, but we frame our partnership as platonic. We call it an 'agapeship.' Just thinking how what you've said here jives with my juicy queerplatonic nonsense.

[@cindeec1963]

I'm newly single at 53. I've only been single as an adult for 6 months when I left my husband of 20+ years. This last relationship was 10 years. Things are pretty stressful now, but there are glimmers of hope that I might find happiness with just myself. A couple weekends ago I went to my first concert by myself. Soft Cell in SF! And rode an Uber by myself! I've only been to the movies once by myself, it felt a little weird but not bad really. I've never been to a restaurant or coffee shop by myself, so I need to try it! I am loving the freedom and not having to check in. I'm a little worried about my age and not being physically fit enough to do this around the house though. That kind scares me. But I'm sure my adult children would help if I needed it. Thank you for sharing this, it helps! 💜

[@DianaGonzalez-qd8tc]

💜✨