Why Is My Partner Being Suspicious with Their Phone?

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Has this happened to you before? What was your experience like and how did you handle it?

[@CamiSchatzy]

Talking about it openly is the way to go for sure, and then seeing what both people end up doing and feeling is the best gauge. I’d like to know more about healing hypervigilance in general whether it is about phones or other stuff. Is there a related video out there?

[@roshalllambert]

I love how you explained the difference between secrecy and need for privacy and the communication scripts you used!!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@trollhunter3944]

I never really questioned what my wife did on her phone until I started noticing some odd messages and her acting kinda weird when I got close. Like, she'd dim the phone brightness or make random bathroom trips during texting. I tried to be cool about it, you know, respecting her privacy, but turns out she was actually cheating. Crazy, right? I divorced her. After this relationship, I had two other experiences similar to this. When this happens, communicate with your partner. If your partner makes excuses or lies, trust yourself and leave the relationship.

[@Blasianpower2]

I’m sorry that’s hella fucked yo I hope your taking this time to focus on you

[@faith9017]

More of these types would be helpful. Id also like to see one on how to address porn as an unhealthy creature comfort as a da and more overall info in that category too.

[@Coffee_Investor]

I wonder if someday you could make a video in detail of the 'extreme' DA

[@eileendom5858]

Yes this happened to me. His response was he was just used to putting his phone that way. I instantly felt he would accuse me of not trusting him if I said anything further as if I was controlling how he puts his phone down. Yet, he wanted to know about my retirement and finances? I didn’t feel secure. He was a DA and I’m FA. Eventually I couldn’t compete with him consistently on social media.

[@gonzalog7351]

Im SA. I ended my relationship of 10 years because i grew tired of my partner trying to monitor my phone all the time.. i use it for work.. tried to talk to her several times but she keeped acting the same way and acussing me of imaginarie affairs... please respect your partner privacy, if you dont trust your partner even when reassured it is a You problem.

[@jojojo724]

Did you let her see your phone?

[@tashawilliams8093]

👏 💯

[@lzestrara1518]

I'm in the reverse position. I recently ended a 7.5yr relationship because my ex had an affair in year 6. And as we tried to recover from it, he made many series of assurances that he'd ended the affair and was committed to me. Yet he was still being secretive with his phone. I eventually broke down and checked his phone. He had continued to maintain his relationship with the other person, and had said many things about how he wasn't happy with me and wanted to end things. And he said those things sometimes the same day that he'd assured me he was committed to me. Did my snooping damage his trust towards me? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I finally learned that he was capable of saying whatever he felt he had to say in order to keep people roped in. I learned that he lacked integrity in a very foundational sense. He didn't know what he really wanted because he didn't know himself. He wanted me, but he wanted the other person too. And he'd lie to all of us to keep both options open. I'm open with my phone, personally. My ex could've looked at my phone anytime he wanted. If he saw something that made him uncomfortable, then that's on him to deal with. I was committed to my relationship, and had no secrets. I know who I am and what I am and am not afraid of my partner seeing all parts of me.

[@CedrickBee]

My ex-wife would be on the phone until 2-3am. She claimed that she was getting texts and emails from work. Knowing what I know now, she was clearly talking to other guys.

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

I'm trying to grow in whatever time I have left in this life, so when I find what I recognize as quality counsel, guidance or sources , I think I must Lach onto that as I feel it's precious or something. So respect and appreciation to PDS. As someone else acknowledged, I feel kind of lost when I don't see your daily posts.❤

[@sophiafara5997]

She posts daily

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

@@sophiafara5997 ok nice

[@calistew2766]

By habit I put my phone face down so that it doesn’t distract me from being more present with the person I’m with 😊

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

that's great! thanks for sharing ❤

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

I would rather be a private person and be tight with one or two loyal good friends so if those people who come into this life would just communicate with me then they would continue to get full privacy as I would not be confused and try to find out other ways what is happening or how to understand or put pieces of puzzles together.

[@jojojo724]

I think if your looking its because instinctually you are picking up on something being wrong whether its their secrecy or something else. Assuming you otherwise trusted them and have not been snoping as a habit lol.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

thanks for sharing your perspective ❤

[@stevensantora2976]

Thank you so much.

[@geo_neo9]

Openess is of purity. Having a real relationship openess is part of it. No privacy because you both become one.

[@SoNiels]

Great video!

[@eileendom5858]

I forgot to add, can you talk more about what exactly is a DA doing when they withdraw to themselves? When they need space, what do they think about? Are they going thru pros and cons? Are they telling themselves positive affirmations? Are they taking that time to chat with an ex? Etc

[@ryk7296]

Cheating. They can always make excuses about how busy they are, but always will make time when a new toy comes along. They are always on a watch out for new potential partners to hookup with. They will be available for the new person because the thrill of the new relationship is whats driving them around. Until they get to much intimate, it becomes boring for them to continue and at this time they will come back to you.

[@suras8984]

I'm an FA and I am suspicious with my laptop and phone because I do not want anyone to know Im watching these types of videos or any of my law of attraction videos lol. Also I have a million tabs open on my laptop which I am embarrassed by. So I close my laptop as if Im hiding something big. My cousin investigated what I was hiding and thought I was hiding porn lollll.

[@rachhhh9722]

My sound wouldn't work when I was on my laptop and my partner was trying to fix it and he went into KZbin just to see if it worked . God I got out of it so quickly haha

[@carrievaleriaalvarez2198]

I feel like there is no reason whatsoever to get into someone else's phone unless they ask you to look at something. In practice, nowadays phones automatically screen-lock when they are idle for a bit of time so it doesn't matter whether you have a habit to leave the phone face down or anything. If you have a feeling you need to know what someone else is up to on their phone, there is some other underlying issue. Address that.

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

It seems like it was a green flag that turned into red flags which completely threw me off and confused me.

[@mikeritchie8618]

do you have any content to explain i easy terms, NPD, this based on, how ive been so trusting of my partner that she has manipulated a separation and now has a non molestation order, (an injunction) against me for things like, being controlling, one of her reasons in her statement, if we get ice cream i get her sprinkles without asking or if we stay in a hotel i always (usually) book the upgraded room,. me giving her comfort stability financial security and the freedom to go where ever she wants which was a requirement of hers, she has now held this against me saying, she doesn't go away because i dont let her, in fact i dont like her going away with groups of girls to a different country where the main reputation of the resort is drunks and sex, i dont like her going as it makes me uncomfortable, most of her friends are single, or adulterers, or divorced, my wife is beautiful and stands out amongst her group of friends, so i worry, i dont stop her i just dont like her going, she tells people i dont let her go away so im controlling, this was a result of me being open and asking her to help me to calm my feelings, she controls she manipulates she shows aggression towards me if i challenge her, she projects her feelings onto me, if we go somewhere or buy something that she later doesnt want she blames me for saying yes, or agreeing with her, she left her job after a period of sickness leave, (12 months) and blamed me because i made a position available for her in my business, which she doesnt attend ,but claims salary. she feels shame for something, she fears abandonment, yet she has abandoned me, and admitted going to a hotel with somebody, so i understand the shame yet there is more shame, she cant even now look at me or talk to me, we were madly, (or at least i thought we were) in love and planning our mortgage free, abundent happy life into our retirements after being married for 26 years only 8 weeks ago. Would i be wasting my time waiting for her, or should i accept and is there help to accept the end, ive struggled so much with pain and sadness. She became secret with her phone, to the point where she purchased a new mac book and deleted everything from her old one, set up new email accounts and ive recently found out she has two phone numbers. She swears that there is no one else, but im not able to even see activity on social media, im not allowed-to talk or discuss our relationship, with others, and i wasnt (still not)allowed to post recent photos of us together online, despite previous years of photos splashed all over social media, by her.

[@What_if_its_all_true]

🎤🔊