Therapist Analyzes: Betty by Taylor Swift - From a Queer Lens

[@kexpfrut2609]

Such an amazing analysis, thank you for being open to discussing Queer relationships in Taylor songs, even though some folks might give you some backlash for it.

[@mendwithmere]

I’ve already noticed I lost some followers. Oh well! You are so welcome 💖

[@f.h.7671]

@@mendwithmere but you might gain new ones as well

[@maggieo1683]

@@mendwithmere I know I'm late lol but honestly, good those homophobes are gone! If it were my channel, I wouldn't want their negativity on my channel anyway.

[@crishd92]

I love this analysis. Thank you Mere! As a bi woman i’ve always picture James as a girl and it gives as you said a total different meaning to the story. When james asks “or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you trust me..” It makes me think that it was a private meeting place for them (away from her homophobic friends and society), this part makes much more sense like this because if james is a boy calling her friends stupid just for the sake of it 🚩 And in cardigan Betty is aware of how all the secrecy was hurting the relationship they had “To kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed”. This is a very relatable queer experience especially if you are young and not out. Just a friendly reminder to some people in the comments, Taylor has spoken about how much she loves lyrical analysis of her art and this is one of them, and so well done and respectful. I’d love to see more of this too :)

[@mendwithmere]

Thanks for the friendly reminder for everyone and all wrote you wrote is SO true! Thank you for watching and commenting 🤍

[@kellyreiterman]

I LOVE this analysis. You are so right about feeling compassion for James as a female that you don't feel if James is a male. Really well done.

[@joslinboals9797]

thank you for this, meredith. i loved your take on this and how you are so willing to interpret this through a queer lens. it makes so many of us feel seen!💖

[@mendwithmere]

💖💜💙

[@evergreenforestwitch]

I had considered that this might be a queer love triangle but hadn't gone lyric by lyric and honestly, it makes much more sense this way. Part of it is my huuuuuge skepticism that a teenage boy would have the depth of feeling and level of detail this song depicts, although in fairness that might be my radfem bias at play. Look fwd to the straight interpretation!

[@mendwithmere]

Haha I feel you on the skepticism. This definitely changes things. Thank you for watching!

[@maya_htrabkcah]

the teenage love triangle holds such a special place in my lesbian heart... as someone who has not had a relationship i dont relate to the experience depicted but feel like i could be an augustine or a betty sometime in my life, hope i wont be or fall for a james tho haha but who knows what the future holds... i also love the idea of james maybe bening non-binary instead of cis or trans (ftm of mtf both works) which is totally possible considering the lyrics and also fits with the queer theme/feeling of the story fun side note i love how happy taylor looked when she performed betty live on the country music awards show (and how gorgeous she looked) and that the clean version says straight to hell instead of f myself which is kinda fun now welcome to my ted talk: society is so stuck on hetero being the norm and i always try my best to not assume two things, someone's gender aligning with the way the present and someone being straight or gay, i think love should be the norm, that until someone defines their sexuality they are solely attracted to people (based on aesthetics, character and personality) regardless of gender and even if they choose to define one thing that does not have to stay the same forever because sexuality is fluid and we can't ever understand love anyways i myself have not felt attraction towards men yet (aesthetic & platonic attraction excluded) and am confidently identifying as lesbian at the moment, a label that for me definately includes non-binary folks as well as trans people, but I believe sexuality and gender is fluid and love and life are ever changing THE END of a mildly unnecessary ted-talk thanks for reading

[@hbloom]

Can you please analyze Right Where You Left Me from a queer lens? 💜 (If you haven't already!)

[@mendwithmere]

Oooo that’s a great idea!

[@garysimcox345]

Yes please! The “hair pin” references are what intrigued me in that song 👀

[@Shan04268]

I never once had the inclination that James was female when I first heard this song. And I did know that the inspiration for the name was a female - Blake and Ryan's oldest child. Cheating is wrong, no matter the gender, but it IS easier to have compassion for James as a female and to imagine her torment. Especially since it sounds like James was more ready to step out of the closet than Betty was at this time. We all do things we're not proud of and James hooking up with Augustine must have been liberating on some level - like you said, to freely explore her sexuality, but at the same time in the back of her mind wishing she could have done so with Betty. It's one of those life lessons you never forget - the ones that hurt the most are usually the ones that stick with you. Great reaction, as always

[@mendwithmere]

Yes!! Love every word of this!

[@whatalsaid]

by adding a queer subtext to this, it makes the character of James more sympathetic, since she just wanted to be out with Betty, but Betty wasn't ready, so James lashed out and on her vacation to the beach, she linked up with August. Also, if this were true, the character of Inez is WAY more sinister than I thought she was, because in my mind, James is also in the closet but ready to come out, but Inez just happened to be at the same vacation spot, sees James and August getting it on, and spreads the rumor around the school, basically outing James against her will. So, my final consenus is that if you want to read this as a straight romance between a boy and two girls, James is the villain, but the sapphic version, Inez is the villain.

[@jessieballpk]

I just need somewhere to put my thoughts about this song, don't mind me. Also, I was typing this as I was watching the video and I feel very validated because some of the stuff I was writing you were also mentioning! Yay, I guess I'm not dramatically over-reading into lyrics this time! The part about James seeing Betty dancing with a guy in the gym combined with the line about "would you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends" definitely makes me think it's about a secret relationship. I have this idea that Betty was more content with it being hidden from everyone else because of the line in Cardigan "to kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed" with 'downtown' indicating that they potentially travelled from a small town (the 'cobblestones' description gives me small/old/traditional town vibes?) to the city to go on dates because they felt more comfortable there, maybe because of the anonymity/cover it provides (plus, to me, downtown areas just seem more diverse, open, and accepting of queer people). But James was growing restless and seeing Betty dancing with a man in front of everyone might have been the final straw (seeing what they can never have). It also fits with James' plead about wanting Betty to kiss her in front of her friends, to stop hiding her. Also, the way James describes sleeping next to Augustine but thinking of Betty the whole time makes me think that James truly does want Betty and only Betty (as Augustine says in August "you weren't mine to lose" because James was Betty's the entire time) but she couldn't have Betty in the way she wanted her so she tried to replicate that with someone else. And another side note, the line about Betty hearing rumours from Inez also kind of makes me feel like no one knew that Betty had anything to do with James in a romantic way because she had to hear rumours through someone completely irrelevant to the situation who may be prone to spreading more general gossip ("you can't believe a word she says most times"). That line didn't really give me the impression of a trusted friend hearing a cheating rumour and coming to tell the partner what they'd heard. So, it makes me think the rumour was more about the fact that James was caught with a woman than that she was caught cheating. Oh one more side note and then I'll shut up, "standing in your cardigan" (combined with Betty's "when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favourite" which makes me more inclined to think James is the one wearing Betty's cardigan rather than James just randomly describing Betty standing in a cardigan) is very queer to me. Men can totally wear cardigans (and they look great in them too, slay) but I'm more likely to picture a woman wearing her girlfriend's clothes (aka James wearing Betty's cardigan). Okay, that's all from me :'))

[@firstlast1932]

"A friend to all is a friend to none" in cardigan actually being about Betty herself? hurting James by hiding their relationship while not being honest with her "stupid friends" either?

[@jessieballpk]

@@firstlast1932 omg i love this interpretation! i think that’s interesting :))

[@victoriaj201]

This was a great analysis, I really loved it. Objectively looking at the lyrics and the storyline this song tells, the relationship between Betty & James makes so much more sense if James is a girl. The connections you pointed out to cardigan made me look into cardigan deeper. I know Taylor has said Cardigan is from Betty’s perspective, but we also know that Betty, which she said is from a male’s perspective, lyrically makes more sense from a female perspective. Also, Taylor is no stranger to lying (the purple glitter in anti-hero is midnight blue!). That being said, I really think Cardigan is also from James’ perspective. The connection between “I’m only 17, I don’t know anything but I know I miss you” and “when you are young they assume you know nothing” really does it for me. I hadn’t realized the cobblestone connection until you pointed it out and that struck me because in betty she sings “I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you” and then the setting of cardigan is literally her walking on cobblestone again thinking of this person. Also, this would mean James wears high heels! 🏳️‍🌈 But really, why would Betty say “chase two girls, lose the one” (a reference to her leaving James because of the august fling) and then proceed to sing a song about how much she misses this person she left and wants them to come back to HER? Even though she left him? More lyrical inconsistencies arise with “I knew you, leaving like a father.” Why would James leave betty if betty had already left James? By again looking at the lyrics objectively, we can see that the storyline of the song makes way more sense from James’ perspective. When we stop taking Taylor’s public explanations for songs at face value and instead listen to what her lyrics actually tell us, the storyline of her songs make more cohesive sense. But why would Taylor lie? Maybe to overtly cover up for the kind of relationship the songs themselves are covertly revealing to us..

[@mendwithmere]

I think you are on to something. She’s a mastermind, right?! 😉

[@lianamark2484]

Looking at it like this makes more sense to why they end up together in the end. Yes James still hurts Betty, but it was out of fear not boredom.

[@mendwithmere]

YES! I wish I would have said that. I’ll add this to when I do the other version

[@melissayuhh]

Naming my future daughter James after watching this video. Another great video, thanks for sharing your input and making space for queer stories Mere!

[@mendwithmere]

You are so welcome!

[@sophietv13]

Thank you so much for making this video. The respect and care with how you explained this perspective of the song is so important. To be part of the fandom for a long time, this means a lot. I know that a lot of queer people listened to Betty and found personal experiences in this song. Sadly, I also know that a lot of us had to face a lot of backlash for pointing it out. You doing this video is so important. It is validating, makes us feel seen and in some ways is kind of healing.

[@mendwithmere]

You are so incredibly welcome for it. All I want is for us all to mend from our pain and having a song that rings true, even when others say it doesn’t, that can be validated even more is the goal. Sending you 🤍

[@lauradias9253]

it was such a beautiful analysis!!! I love it so much

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you so much!!

[@CandylandTraveler]

I am so glad that you did the video from this point of view. This is actually the song that made me become a Swiftie. I am bisexual and I do follow a lot of lgbt media online and had heard a lot of feedback about the song so I went to listen out of curiosity. I fell in love with it. My initial reaction was not as sympathetic towards James because cheating just sucks in general but I always had at least *some* sympathy because they are in high school and even I made one almost cheating mistake thanks to the coaxing of my boyfriend's best friend (messed up situation) during high school and now, at 43, I would never. Hearing your thoughts definitely make me feel even more sympathetic to the situation and I appreciate that you took the time to analyze it from a difference lens.

[@mendwithmere]

Libby! Thank you so much for the love and sharing your experience. When we are young, we don’t realize how much our actions effect us and other people for years!!

[@chopie7]

Also do you feel like James did not acknowledge having any previous romantic relationship with Betty, but Betty clearly said in Cardigan that they were dating before that. But James made it look like they weren't sure about the type of relationship they had, like "we are friends but I sort off like you, but whatever"

[@RebeccaPaige]

Omg thank you so much for this. First time I heard this song I couldn't help but feel like this was a song about two girls so thanks for being the one person on KZbin that didn't try to straight it up.

[@rosadesiena8171]

Definitely considering James a girl makes more sense, become deeper!!! Great analysis and great song of Taylor ❤️

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you!! 🤍

[@dimplyowl9408]

Wow, it's insane how reading this from a queer lens completely shifts the tone and meaning of the song for me. And speaking of queer, I'd love to see you react to more Pheobe Bridgers! "You Missed My Heart" came up on my shuffle and there's some good queer stuff in there 👀

[@gerstaunton5147]

You relate to the song beautifully and justify your interpretation very well. The song becomes even more impressive on consideration of the nuances you highlight!

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you!

[@JennySieck]

Thank you so much for doing this with a queer lens. It's a bold move. One I believe Taylor is still maneuvering.🙏

[@evably]

I loved this reaction! I’ve never considered the perspective that James is a queer female but that makes a lot of sense. Thank you 😊

[@mendwithmere]

Welcome!!

[@v-underground]

i really appreciate this 💛

[@mendwithmere]

So glad you liked it! 💖💜💙

[@dorafaliez7842]

Thank you for this analysis it’s rare to see this point of view in analysis of Taylor songs while it’s clearly there a lot of times so thanks ❤

[@TheGrottoGirl]

I want to see this movie! I can picture all the cheesiness and sweetness -- Sixteen Candles-esque. But queer. Love it.

[@iss.aditya]

Thank you so much for making this video. I never thought about the love triangle story in this way and after hearing your thoughts, it makes so much sense. I love that this song can be interpreted to be about both straight and queer love stories. It adds an entirely new meaning and makes me love her songwriting so much more.

[@mendwithmere]

She’s incredible! Thank you for watching and commenting! Means so much

[@t-dub7638]

Do we think James represents Taylor? We know she was named after James Taylor.

[@mendwithmere]

Hmmm good question :)

[@TAYLORZACHLANA]

James definitely represents Taylor. And “Betty” in my opinion is most likely Karlie. Karlie’s middle name is “Elizabeth” shortened to Betty. And I feel like this song might be about kissgate between Taylor and Karlie and all the rumors swirling around them.

[@SarahInsideHerFantasy]

Wow, thank you for you interpretation. I didn't know how much I needed it. I never saw it that way (that James is a woman), but I loved the song and that put me in a tricky situation because I thought James was awful and hated what the song is about. But now I can love the song and enjoy the story, because if feel also so sad for James💔

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you! Same for me. It totally changed it

[@JaneDoe-vf4ud]

Thank you for this! This means so much ❤

[@marinac3549]

I like to think this song is from a queer perspective, specially because we’re talking about a concept album, it’s almost entirely fictional, so it’s not like we’re guessing anything about Taylor herself lol Edit: after watching the whole video I like the song even more!!

[@marinac3549]

Also Ivy is super gay

[@diannakaplan8853]

@@marinac3549 that's my fav song! I have to listen from that perspective.

[@mendwithmere]

Totally. I’m gonna do it

[@v-underground]

i think it's really beautiful too 💛💛🌈

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you!

[@BigTony808]

Wow, this song always seemed a little complex for a young relationship, but this lens simplifies some things. The kissing in public especially, the importance of that alone. I was on the "small town" logic, but this is another way. Thank you again. I have a few songs and cardigans to revisit.

[@hallee4366]

I love this, thank you so much!

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you for loving it!

[@maggieo1683]

Holy crap, I've actually never thought about this song through this lens- that's crazy. All the discussions online I've seen about this song portray James as an asshole dude with a big ego with this male dominance vibe. But through a gay lens, it really does completely flip the song on its head. And as a gay woman, that really makes the song hit deeper for me. Thanks for making this video, you just made me like this song even more than I already did lol. I will say I do actually think Taylor meant this through a straight lens since she always refers to James as a guy, but still, this possible interpretation sure is interesting

[@DeniseMoserMusic]

This rings true!

[@mendwithmere]

🤍

[@alainhenrique]

I've been watching your videos for sometime and love them but for some reason never subscribed 😮 Knowing now that you lost followers because of this analisys i had to subscribe! Never heard this song thinking of James as a girl and i loved It, the "boy James" is a jerk but with queer lens i can understand James! As a gay man i totally understand how the "girl James" feels! Love Love Love your analisys!

[@aidenrushing9841]

My trans, pansexual, poly self appreciates your intro. And for covering this song. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

[@aidenrushing9841]

Reminds me so much of my last summer before senior year. I still presented female and I spent every. single. day with my best friend who came out as a lesbian after high school. We went to a Christian high school so even if we figured out that we loved each other we wouldn't have been able to really do anything about it. Anyway. Thank you. Again.

[@v-underground]

the point of video is that it's from a queer perspective. so two girls. she will do the interpretation as james as a boy soon!

[@mendwithmere]

Yes I will :)

[@mimikuome.mp3912]

Subscribed just because of this video. Doing God's work for real🙏🙏

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you for subscribing and this means so much!

[@mari_stardust]

It' s also cool to notice that, at the same time that James is saying 'I'm only 17, I don't know anything', Betty is saying 'When you are young they assume you know nothing' in cardigan

[@Awakening_Sunshine]

This song is sapphic and not even Taylor herself can convince me otherwise

[@TAYLORZACHLANA]

Do you wanna know something else. Taylor was named after JAMES Taylor. Taylor might be James. And maybeeeeeee Betty is karlie. Karlies middle name is Elizabeth which shortens to Betty. I think this is about kissgate about the rumors swirling. And the dancing with the guy part makes sense seeing everyone thinks Taylor swift has “beards” or people that she fake dates to cover up her sexuality. So maybe karlie saw Taylor and a man together. Maybe just maybe

[@Awakening_Sunshine]

@@TAYLORZACHLANA James, Betty, and Inez are also the names of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s daughter. In your theory, who is Augustine?

[@TAYLORZACHLANA]

@@Awakening_Sunshine I’m not sure. Folklores are usually loosely based on true events. but since Taylor’s writing from James’s perspective then someone most likely came between Taylor and karlie most likely.

[@TAYLORZACHLANA]

The only person I could think of coming in between the two would be scooter probably. But that wouldn’t make a lot of sense seeing that James and scooter would’ve been involved in some kind of relationship

[@welcometotheanimalchannela6120]

I’m bisexual and my grandma said when you’re 18 I’ll believe it.

[@mendwithmere]

like you magically change on your 18th birthday? when will people trust that when you tell them who you are, you actually know. sending you love

[@welcometotheanimalchannela6120]

@@mendwithmere Well at least I have my horse who is my best friend and is always there for me.

[@kellye.5678]

I mean Taylor said that James is a boy in one of her interviews, but honestly it doesn't matter or make a difference what genders the characters are. It's still a love triangle at the end of the day. People can take a song an interpret it however they like, but it's nice knowing how taylor envisioned/wrote the song.

[@mendwithmere]

❤❤❤

[@ShanInMoonlight]

While I *do* appreciate this take and what it means for some people, I just want to make sure people know - in the long pond session interviews, Taylor *does* confirm what it’s about. Joe had come up with the whole chorus and she heard him singing it and she asked him to write it with her, she specifically says she likes that it sounds like a male apology for once, because James was a foolish man/character. I’m sure Taylor might tell you that you’re free to interpret it however you want, though. But it’s incorrect when you say we don’t know what was in mind when it was written because she’s told us lol

[@androgamer750]

I imagine what if this song love triangle have music video i wondering what happened

[@mendwithmere]

I wish she’d do it

[@mgb0612]

Okay, if the names are based off of real sisters. In this version, wouldn’t you assume Inez is James’s sister and that is how she knows the truth? That would make Inez definitely the villain.

[@JackHelms1013]

It's weird feeling bad for James, but looking at it from the perspective of James being a closeted Lesbian makes it more acceptable for her actions.. cough cough... Augustine

[@zzz-cb3xe]

Taylor admitted in one of her videos that she is James. I know who Betty is in real life, Taylor posted that a long time ago......But i think she deleted it.....

[@TAYLORZACHLANA]

Is it karlie? . Karlies middle name is Elizabeth shortened to Betty

[@TransDragon]

Augustine = Taylor, James = Karlie, Betty = Josh. Taylor is the summer fling that Karlie had before ending up with Josh.

[@barbaramendes4090]

Vou até falar em português agora pq krlh gata agr cê viajou ein

[@mendwithmere]

Obrigado por assistir! Enviando amor!

[@anairdasjourney8515]

Cheating is the same, no matter what your sexual inclinations are. The confusion of teenagers is valid in both situations, although it can come from different perspectives. Mistakes are made and consequences are real. I don't think that being straight or not changes the situation that much.

[@mendwithmere]

I totally hear you. I think the societal pressures of being queer and out impact being able to even explore at that age but I do agree with you, cheating is cheating.

[@dayofthemoon1]

Interesting analysis, but I remember Taylor saying when the song was released that she had pictured James as a young boy. There are also the references in Cardigan to “Peter losing Wendy” and “running like a father”. I also got the impression that James and Betty were in a serious relationship after August since she mentions “you weren’t mine to lose”, which doesn’t support the theory that Betty might have been in the closet.

[@LadyoftheUnderground]

While I have always listened to the songs through a straight lens (where James is a boy who cheats on his girlfriend Betty and then says “wait it was just a summer thing! I’m only 17, I don’t know anything”), I think this new perspective is really interesting and does make sense. Yes, “you weren’t mine to lose” fits the cheating narrative, but I think it would also work with the way described in the video if James was wishing it was Betty with her all summer long and that’s where her heart really was, rather than with August.

[@botasdrogado2645]

An interesting theory, but I don't think that was the case with this specific song. But it would be nice if it was

[@shroomyman3388]

its art which is up for interpretation there's no right or wrong

[@mahyaarvan1310]

So if James is a girl who cheats on her girlfriend, it's beautiful and sad but if he is a boy who cheats, he is a monster???

[@mendwithmere]

No, definitely not. I think that James as a female really thought that Betty would never be out of the closet in the way she could be with Augustine. I think the lines were blurred. I believe cheating is wrong no matter what but if we are looking at it from a queer lens, I don’t think their relationship was clearly defined.

[@ashrashed4825]

It's all about nuance. If James was a boy who is stuck in a cycle in which his dad was a cheater and it seems to subconsciously affect him, he would be way more sympathetic. But as it stands in this song, if he was a guy then there isn’t really much of a reason for it other than being young and foolish. Cheating is still wrong though, it's just not all black and white all the time.