Therapist reacts to Slipknot - XIX

[@HeartSupport]

If you are enjoying this check out our entire play list for Slipknot. kzbin.info/aero/PLi5gv_EELBNgk0WYqJAFSu68mz-hT1Vdl

[@JeremyMiller-sn6nh]

Rest in Peace Paul and Joey 💔🌹 Us Maggots still mourn your passing 😢 Both forever legends 🤘💀🤘

[@OUTLAWinTX]

I loved how this song slides immediately into sarcastrophe. Perfect

[@moxie8714]

My dad died right around Christmas. Alzheimer's. We were close and he was the closest person I've ever lost. It was awful and brutal and painful and prolonged but at the same time I never really believed it would happen. This is the first time I've heard this song, but I've really been enjoying your reactions in general so your words are very welcome. The feelings I have are unlike anything I've experienced. Some days are worse than others. I put on a happy face and keep going with life but I don't think I'll ever stop grieving. And honestly I'm not sure I want to. He was a good person and he worked hard for his family. And he died too young and too cruelly. I never want to leave that behind. Thank you.

[@Michael-c6u5t]

My mom passed away in 91 she was only 46 it helps me to think of all the good times we had keep your head up and keep rockin ❤

[@HeartSupport]

From EvilGenius: @moxie8714 Hello Friend First of all, I’d like to send my condolences for the loss of your Dad. Watching a loved one decline due to Alzheimer's is heartbreaking. They way you’ve described things captures the emotional journey that so many who have been through similar will have experienced. I understand that this experience will have a unique set of feelings for you, and it’s okay to be that way. That is the very nature of grief. Whilst I’ve gone through a parental loss myself, I have friends who have, and they all say it’s a life changing experience. In your case, adding an illness like Alzheimer’s into the mix complicates things. Loosing someone to this illness is almost like loosing them twice - first they loose their identity and memory, and secondly when they physically pass away. The first one where you physically watch them slip away is painful. They are no longer the person you remember them as, and that is difficult. It’s great that you’ve been able to be brave and strong, but you don’t need to be this way all the time. You are allowed to grieve, be sad, be angry, question why and have guilt. All of those things will come slowly with grief, and it’s important to let the grief out. Some days you will be absolutely fine, and others memories will hit you and you’ll feel paralysed. I lost my great grandma on the 16/02/23, so you can imagine how I’m feeling as her anniversary creeps up. It’s clear that your Dad was very family orientated, and dedicated his life to his family. That can be hard to move on from. I can see from your words that your Dad had a good heart and has left a good legacy behind, which hopefully the family will continue. Grief is a personal journey and only you are in control of the pace and healing from it. You will undoubtedly find your own way to honour your Dad’s memory and legacy, whether that is through kids of your own or in other aspects of life. He had a lot of love to give and will still love you from the gates of heaven. Your heart may be broken at the moment, but pain will get easier with time. I hope my words provide some comfort

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @moxie8714 I'm sorry for the loss of your dad, friend. Seeing someone you love so much having their health declining in front of you is heartbreaking. There's no words to describe how consuming it feels over time, and somehow we're never really prepared to say goodbye, even if we know it's going to happen. It makes sense to both hate this grief and at the same time to wish to hold on to it. Somehow, it feels like a way to hold on to the memory of the person we miss, of honoring them, of keeping their love close. As moving forward and thinking less of them feels like forgetting them somehow, if not betraying them. I've felt myself this duality very often while navigating through the loss of my big brother. It's a learning process really to explore these pathways that lead to life again, without feling like it would be a bad thing. It's okay to take your time. It's okay to feel all that you need, anytime you need. Rest assured that, through the silence that you may feel these days, your dad is still there. His love shines brightly and goes beyond any matter of time or space that could exist between you. He is with you, in your heart, in your mind, in your tears *and* your smiles. He will always be a part of your life and you will keep having the possibility to share the beauty of his heart with this world. :heart:

[@someoldatheist6712]

Man i got so excited when i saw what you were reacting to. I've never seen anyone react to this song. I don't even think its really that popular but it really really struck a chord with me the first time i heard it. i'm excited to hear your analysis of it.

[@dionnegoss6897]

I have "walk with me....don't let this world tear you apart" tattooed over my SH scars. I felt the words were so helpful for my depression journey

[@GhostCrowBrother]

You nailed this one sister. RIP Paul and Joey.

[@jrballew7631]

I usually don't comment on anything but this song is so close to me. I was in a motorcycle wreck right before this song came out. This song explained how I felt about my situation. How I felt about the loss of my ability to walk among other things. I would also listen to this song and Korn Get up and Chimaria Down again a ton. They helped me with my situation. Music is a very powerful tool at least for me to help cope with the problem at the moment.

[@VolBeat2412.]

They used to use this song as the intro in the shows of The Gray Chapter tour in 2014 and 2015

[@atomfallen2409]

Yup saw it in portland oregon the youtube footage of it is really good too

[@jacoblando5083]

Jay did an FUCKING incredible job with this band, proud to say im somewhat related to the man. Cant wait for Eloys turn

[@BionicLeg]

The Grey Chapter as a whole really was a love letter to Paul Grey. Lyrically Skeptic was a really sweet song to PG.

[@paulstuartwilson485]

Just found your channel this morning. Watched a few so far. Been a metal fan since the early 80's (yeah, I'm old). Glad you understand metal for what it really is. 👍🇺🇸

[@shawncocker9699]

Yeah, I’m an older metal fan as well (70’s kid) lol and yes, the way she runs through these is (in my opinion) damn near spot on every time 👍🏼

[@sherrizelinski7424]

My only brother who was my father figure passed away when he was 42 on 05/20/2007 then my mom passed away on 06/03/2008. This is one of many Slipknot songs that kept me from ending my life...

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @sherrizelinski7424 I'm so very sorry for your losses, my friend. Losing two people who are so close to you in such a short amount of time is absolutely heart-shattering. It feels as if suddenly an entire part of your world, of your self, has been removed from the earth. You are forced to deal with whatever is left, with all the fears, questions and hurt it generates to be alive when they aren't. The silences and emptiness that losing someone you love creates within is terribly loud and heavy, and it's even more cruel that it remains impossible for others to see it directly or acknowledge it while you need it the most. For what it's worth: I hear you, I see you, and I feel this pain with you. These years between 2007 and now must have been particularly heavy and a real rollercoaster of emotions. I can't begin to imagine the amount of tears that had to be shed, and the amount of heavy times you had to force yourself to push through in order to keep going. I personally lost my big brother in 2018 to an illness that developed suddenly - he was 33. After this my family has just exploded and I, somehow, lost more family members - even if it wasn't through death. It has felt and still feels many times that life itself had its own colors removed and I lost most of my roots. Words are not enough to describe the void it creates to lose people who happened to be a real anchor in your life. It's like having no real sense of self anymore and no sense of direction left. Yet at the same time you *have* to deal with the fact that you are alive, breathing, and that time keeps moving on. That somehow you have to keep walking. But how hard and unfair it feels to have this possibility when people we love can't share their own voice anymore. It truly feels like a poisoned gift at times, to be alive while grieving. It feels unnatural and beyond understanding. I wholeheartedly relate to this call you have experienced to ending your life, and can't express enough how thankful I am that you are here today and that you keep trying. There are times we want to be with the people we love again and not feeling like having to embrace life without them. And that speaks so much to the love that was and is still present between you and them. I'm thankful because not only you kept choosing life and giving yourself a chance that your mom and brother would certainly want you to embrace, but also because thanks to your presence you also honor them, their life, their love - you make sure that it keeps on living too. They may not be present physically, but they keep existing through you. You share their voice, their heart, and there is something beautiful in this reality. Because there is a unique bond that unites you and will always do, and this world deserves to know about how beautiful their impact has been on your life - and certainly many others. I can assure you that you are not at fault for living, and you have the right to embrace life even if they are not present to share it directly with you anymore. I know it hurts terribly to even think about this truth though. Which is why I want to reiterate it with the hope that you can keep it in your heart during times of doubt. Gosh I doubt too... so often. But I believe there is also strength to find and nurture in pursuing and honoring the memory of the ones we miss by living our best life too. For that is what we wanted for them, and that is what they would want for us too. Death is unfair, cruel in so many ways, although it can never erase the love that is present between two unique individuals. It's not determined by time or distance. It only is. And that my friend is a beautiful, special legacy as well as a real superpower that you hold within. You are beautiful. You are important. You matter. -Micro

[@anoceanbetweenus89]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Even if it happened in 2007/2008, I can imagine it still cuts so deep today. I lost my dad in 2021 and my mother in 2022. About 1.5 years apart and quite unexpectedly. Those of us who have lost someone that close in proximity can truly understand what that pain is like for others. It might not be the same journey of grief, but we understand what that pain is and how it feels. The lines “walk with me” in this song are so powerful. The invitation of allowing yourself to be vulnerable with someone going through such intense grief and pain is so healing because someone taking that risk to feel what you are feeling let’s you truly know you are not alone in this journey.

[@sherrizelinski7424]

@@anoceanbetweenus89 After my brother and mom passed, my relationship with my dad got slightly better. He just passed on 01/18/2022 from several issues, but he developed Alzheimer's in 2017 and had to be put into a nursing home. Well the guy he left in charge of his medical & financial issues put him in the nursing home. A lot of family drama that I'm not going into. But thank you for your support. I'm sorry that you lost loved ones too. I know there really isn't anything I can say to make anything better, but I can definitely relate 🙏💙🙏

[@HomeStarGlitcher]

I lost my brother in 2007 and my mother in 2009, so I can relate. Slipknot was my go-to and many years later, I have SlipKnot lyrics tattooed on my body (Slipknot - Snuff).

[@S23N2]

This Series about all of slipknots Songs is so beautiful - Keep on doing this very unique project! ❤

[@crunch2485]

This song and Avenged Sevenfold Victim helped me grieve my Father's and grandfather's deaths. Both so sudden and the way this song just ends, gets me everytime. It has such a powerful message to keep you going and come out stronger.

[@steveg7066]

I just found your channel right now, and this is the second Slipknot video and probably the 4th overall... You really understand what Slipknot is about beyond the mask and harshness. As someone who grew up as kind of a loner, Slipknot helped me through some dark times in my teens and early 20s- quite a while before this album came out. Being so emotionally invested in the band I was really feeling it when Paul died, it seemed like part of me was dying, thinking the band would never be the same, but when this album came out and I listened to this intro, it was the most perfect into to an album dedicated to Paul that I could have imagined- I literally sobbed when I heard this for the first time, it was so powerful

[@skatapunk180]

I think this format was perfect. I found this channel a few days ago and am loving this series of metal song analysis from a therapist perspective. Some have been better than others but this one really dug in to each verse in detail. Great work keep them coming!

[@DrewHollenback]

This one always makes me emotional

[@pizzathehut.]

RIP Paul. fav song off this album, Walk with me!

[@LeviFarmer86]

I listened to this song repeatedly when i was in my darkest days

[@AnthonyWiltshire-q1v]

I've been a huge fan of slipknot and other metal bands and your just realising that there's actual meaning in the music they do

[@ricardosaenz569]

I think what you are doing with your channel is great. You seem so genuine and open to happiness, it is a very contagious energy; and I think it is great that you are finding the positive connection in music that, most of us, were told was "bad for us" or "dark" or what ever judgmental assumption many people had to hear from an authority figure or parent

[@Disaster.B3ast]

I lost my mother suddenly December 2012, 3 years later this song came out and I finally felt seen, actually this whole album means a lot to me because there are many songs on it dealing with loss and grief.

[@scottmackie8900]

No matter the time or the place or the feeling I listen to this song I get chills and I sing it because I can and I’m not ashamed of it 😎

[@enferm9]

Thank you, thank you very much, I lost my mother on January 4, you and Slipknot are helping me understand what's going on in my mind. thank you

[@trishteixeira2108]

I couldn’t stop listening to this when i heard it all those years ago, i never really looked at it that deep but I was dealing with a pretty huge loss.. and holding onto guilt over it. Hearing this again puts that pressure right back on my chest and the pit in my stomach, but it also lets me release it. Still love it even with the grief attached. Also, your reactions are really interesting and I’m super excited you’re doing so much Slipknot! It’s not just noise and screaming!!! Lol

[@krissmith2145]

My dad died over 20 yes ago, this always takes me back to when he died. Always cry to this.

[@paulwalker242]

I love your reactions. You explain so much. Thank You

[@DarrellW_UK]

I really resonate with your reaction to this, but in my case for a different reason, I’ve had fibromyalgia for a long while now and had problems coping with life in that time. I didn’t get properly diagnosed until 2020, during the time before I was in a horrible place, I couldn’t accept that the tests they did on me were all negative, so I consulted Dr Google and came up with a lot of serious illnesses that fitted my symptoms so my mind ran riot and I became paranoid and anxious and depressed. If it hadn’t have been for having an interest in music and a band I’d found I know deep down I wouldn’t have been here now. It’s been a joy to watch them grow into the great musicians they are now. They write all of their own songs and write about life, technology and relationships. Their lyrics are quite dark and open to interpretation and really make you think. I see them as having saved my life, obviously not knowingly but I am not on my own, in their fans community there are quite a few of us with similar experiences. The Warning are a Rock band and have toured with some very high profile bands throughout the world, Halestorm, Pretty Reckless, Muse etc. A good song to look at could be 21st Century blood, it’s about how technology is taking over our lives and ruining our relationships, it’s received several awards!

[@tanager33]

This song was so important to me when I was at my lowest point after loosing my wife to cancer 10 years ago and some other shit that had happened in my life. #heartsupport

[@floyd7146]

Hope you are well friend! God bless

[@chriswoods9857]

I have watched numerous videos that you have put out and I feel as if you are very passionate about the psychosis mental problems we all go through. I haven't been the same since my pulmonary embolism that damn near killed me a few years ago. I got back up and brushed my shoulders off but there was still something in the back of my mind that this wasn't over. Over a year and a half ago I had pancreatitis that should have killed me. I went through with the operation and ended up with an infection that put me into a coma and was once again dying. Thankfully I pulled through and stayed in the hospital for 4 months. I was in hell. I was in pain. My mental health set in and told me that I was the problem. I have stayed in and out of depression and was involuntarily sent to a mental institution...one week before Christmas. Because of my actions I am now a diabetic with neuropathy of the feet and I also have a rare blood disease called factor 5 in which I have both chromosomes that make it even more rare. I try to wake up and tell myself that this is my day to snap out of the hell I have created but nothing works. I've been on pills. I've tried thinking positively...to no avail. I was once a good person but now I have turned evil. I don't have a relationship in my life nor do I have any friends because of my illness. I use to be one of the most outgoing people anyone would meet but now I look in the mirror and want to smash it. I know I might sound like I feel sorry for myself and sooooooo many other people deserve recognition more than I do but my back is against the ropes. Tomorrow is always a new day but I never know what it is going to bring. I wish there was a way out.

[@theplaguepadart3743]

My Gran Passed last May, This song is something i pretty much listen to everyday since the day she passed. Its the Rawness described perfectly. "I don't want to get back up, but i have to so it might as well be today" is how i feel every single day but you keep pushing because nothing stops going.

[@HeartSupport]

From dr_hogarth: @theplaguepadart3743 I'm so sorry for your loss. I think grief is something we can all relate to; it is raw and can feel unrelenting. There will be a time though when you can look back at your gran's life and remember all the love and joy she brought to your life. It's probably silly, but whenever I think of grief, I remember this quote from Doctor Who about how different times are just like different places. Our memories still exist, just elsewhere. x

[@HeartSupport]

From EvilGenius: @theplaguepadart3743 Hi there Friend, First of all, I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your Gran last May. Having lost my great grandma in February, I know exactly the pain you are feeling. Loosing someone we love, especially a grandparent can leave a life-altering mark on our lives. It’s evident that her absence has affected you in many ways, but it’s good that you’ve found comfort and relief in music. The Slipkmot song you mentioned, speaks volumes about the depths and rawness of your grief. It’s clear the song resonates with you on a profound level. Music has a way of expressing and capturing the complicated minefield of human emotions, sometimes better than our words ever could. This is exactly what Slipknot’s song seems to have done for you. The line you mentioned, “I don’t want to get back up, but I have to so it might as well be today,” speaks truthly to the feeling of being paralysed by sadness when it comes to grief. It also speaks to the great effort takes to keep moving forward each day, even when sometimes you really don’t want to. Despite the overwhelming desire to stay in bed and hide from the world, you find the strength within yourself to keep pushing forward, even when it feels like everything is falling apart. Grief is a hard journey. You’ll have days where you feel amazing, days where you can’t seem to stop the racing thoughts and overwhelming emotions, days where you feel physically and mentally exhausted and days where you simply feel lost, and that you cannot continue. The most important thing is, you are not alone, and there are so many people out there who could help you. Your loved ones are the best people to lean on right now, or there is professional support available too. Healing is a slow and steady process, so patience is needed. You’ll get there! Hold on to those cherished memories with your Gran, they are what will separate the light from the darkness in the toughest stages of grief. Remember her smile and her humour, for that’s what matters most. Brighter days are coming

[@HeartSupport]

From Lisalovesfeathers: @theplaguepadart3743 Hi Friend, firstly I am very sorry for your loss. There is no easy way to grieve for someone you love and has passed and that feeling life having changed so much in a moment and you cannot do anything about it pushes us all to the extremes of our emotions. I lost my grandma a long time ago and it broke my heart, I adored her and the way I describe getting through grief was that for the longest time, every time I thought about her I broke down, I never thought I would stop crying and then one day I thought of her and smiled and I knew that it was ok, not that I no longer was grieving but that, the darkness had passed and she was still with me, is still with me, in my heart in my mind and in my memories. I feel blessed to have had her. It takes time to get there but it will happen. Lean on the people you love and share your grief. x

[@makipsee]

my father passed away suddenly 2 years ago in June... on my birthday... and i was listening to this song almost on repeat.... and every time i hear it i get on the verge of hysterically crying....

[@HeartSupport]

From Lisalovesfeathers: @makipsee Hi Friend, I am so sorry for your loss and to lose your Dad on your Birthday is even harder I am sure. I hope you have been able to grieve with support and love from family and friends. It's strange how music can bring out every emotion in us and I hope that with these tears that fall for your dad, in time they will come with a smile along with all the wonderful memories that you had rather than just the sadness of grief. I wish you well and we are always here if you need to reach out. Be kind to yourself. Lisa. x

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @makipsee I am so sorry for you loss, friend. You must have been so close to your dad, and the love you have for him is truly felt through your words here. Two years can feel like a very short time but also very long time when you are grieving someone who is so important to you. In the midst of grief, our perception of time can really feel like we're carrying an unwanted burden on our shoulders. The more time goes on and the more hurtful it feels like there is a distance growing between you and the person you lost. Then the perception of the time that has passed, and the brutality of the pain of the loss make you feel like it all happened just yesterday, and you would be meant to relive the pain over and over. I imagine how these two years must have been so very painful for you. Hopefully the tears you had while watching this video could bring a little bit of relief to your heart. Of course, it doesn't erase the pain, it doesn't take away the memories either... but you absolutely deserve to just let your emotions out as what you are facing goes beyond words. You deserve to share your voice and express how you feel, regardless of if it is sadness, anger or any other emotion. You are allowed to be and let it all out. It feels without a doubt that there is before and after, and the after feels particularly doomed. It must be hard to navigate the moment when your birthday approaches in June as it has also become something that triggers this pain inside of you. I personally lost my big brother the day of my brother-in-law's birthday, and it really feels like a very conflicting date now. On the one hand there is the willingness for celebration from others and to keep embracing he joy that life could offer. But at the same time, it feels almost forbidden to smile or have the possibility to be somewhat happy when in the back of your mind there is this voice that reminds you that this is also the day when you lost someone so close to your heart. I hope that, one year after another, and at your own pace, your birthday will become an opportunity for you to keep embracing the love and care that people in your life have for you, while also honoring the memory of your dad in ways that feel right and meaningful for you. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and you are more than allowed to feel the way you do right now. I'm sending much hugs your way, friend. Thinking of your dad and you today. -Micro

[@andrewyoder7160]

Buddy, you're not the only one. We all lose someone.. I lost a close friend suddenly

[@lost6872]

When this record came out my step-dad had just passed away from cancer after an almost 6 year battle with cancer. This whole record got me through some really fucking tough times and kept me from losing my mind entirely.

[@ideitbawxproductions1880]

It's been years since I've heard this song. It hits different now than it used to... I lost a really close friend of mine to suicide earlier this year. She was a victim of serious trauma many years ago, and struggled with her mental health ever since. We both had a deep love for music, and even though we tended to gravitate toward different styles and eras, we always came back to the same core reason why we loved those styles so much: they spoke to us in a way that nothing else could. We could share what we loved with each other, without judgment. Unfortunately, we started to have a fall-out with each other last summer. We were both to blame in our own way, but it really hurt both of us. By October, we weren't even speaking to each other. Just before my birthday in December, she called me to tell me she missed me. I still didn't know how I felt at the time, so I let it pass. After New Year's, I reached out to her. She went back to the psych ward, and I ended up calling her just as she was getting home. We made plans to meet up again within the next couple of weeks, but I never got to see her again. Doctors found tumors in her body, and when was given the bad news, she didn't see the point in living anymore 😢 I felt guilty for being so cold to her when I was angry last year. I asked one of her close friends if I was wrong for how I handled things, and he told me no. He told me not to take the burden on my shoulders, and that her decision had nothing to do with me. It helped ease my pain a little, but there's still a feeling of guilt that I can't seem to shake. If there's one thing I can say, is that we started to mend our friendship before she died. The last time I spoke to her, we were on the phone for over an hour, sharing stories and laughs, and remembering how much we enjoyed each other's company. This would be so much worse if we had no love or forgiveness for each other. Rest in peace, Ker-bear. I'll never forget you ❤❤❤ #heartsupport

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @ideitbawxproductions1880 Losing a close friend to suicide is like this deep, aching void that just won't go away. It's hard to translate it into words. Thank you for doing so here, despite the pain and this sense of guilt that you've been carrying. Thank you for sharing this part of your story, as well as your friend's. I can only imagine how much pain you have been feeling since your friend disappeared. There is no doubt that you both shared some very impactul and significant slices of life together. You had this incredible bond over music, of connecting over how those songs spoke to you in ways nothing else could. That kind of connection is so special. It made me smile reading your words and just how special that was for you, because somehow I relate to it. I shared something very similar with my big brother, who passed away as well after being diagnosed with tumors from a genetic illness that we didn't know about. We loved sharing music together without having to necessarily over-explain why we loved them. Being both depressed, a lot of our affection was expressed through this and the ability to not necessarily hav ing to describe the way we feel, to actually know it. Now it feels bittersweet to listen to some music that reminds me of him. Somehow, it helps to feel closer to them, but it also makes you feel the shock of their absence all over again. Hearing about your friend's struggle, her time in the psych ward, and then the devastating news about the tumors... just the weight of it all for the both of you, it must have felt like such a rollercoaster of emotions. Through it all though, and despite everything, you have managed to maintain connection and show that you love each other, which is both beautiful and powerful. The friend who told you that her decision was not your fault was right. I know it's hard to reason that kind of feeling though. We can know rationally that it wasn't our fault, yet still feel that way somehow. It takes time to let this sensation go away. It's a slow process, and it's okay to take your time through it. Just through your words, I can see how much love there was between you, and there is no doubt that your friend knew that too. Your connction was real and profound, and that is what will always prevail, even beyond death itself. :heart:

[@Caleb-ec1qn]

Love this whole reaction, I lost my little sister suddenly and still don’t know how to talk about it or move on but this community and video helps❤

[@HeartSupport]

From ThriceTheThird: @Caleb-ec1qn I'm glad you find our community helpful. Please feel free to share more with us if you ever want/need. <3

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @Caleb-ec1qn I'm so sorry for your loss, friend. It's okay if now is not the right time for you to talk about it in great details, or how you feel about it, and regardless of how long you've been facing her absence. Just the fact that you've shared this here means a lot and speaks a lot. Sometimes, words are not necessary to convey the heaviness of what we feel, and people can sit with us quietly, respectfully. Rest assured that, whenever you would feel like you need to talk about it, or that the time would be appropriate for you, you'll have a space here/at Heartsupport to share what's on your heart. If it can be reassuring in any way: you are not alone and you are not weird for needing your own time to speak up either. Your heart follows its own timeline, and there is no right or wrong way to process the loss of someone so close to your heart. I have personally lost my big brother 5 years ago quite suddenly, and I've definitely experienced 'steps' in talking about what happened, how it makes me feel, or even who he was. It took me years to say his name again out loud. I'm still unable to share all the micro-events that surrounded his death. Although I can share now at times about the raw pain it creates in me, as well as specific things he liked, thought, or good memories. Sometimes it brings tears, sometimes smiles, sometimes all together. Overall, sharing about it feels like slowly putting pieces of a puzzle together, and eventually inviting some very specific/few people into it. Everything at its own time, my friend. No matter what, you have my full support.

[@ADHDsquirrels]

I feel you, I lost my 4 year old son not even 5 months ago and most days I just feel broken

[@Caleb-ec1qn]

@@ADHDsquirrels it’s incredibly hard to imagine the pain you’re feeling I’m so sorry for your loss, losing someone younger than you is too much as it is. I just keep telling myself to live and push through for her

[@HeartSupport]

From Lyss: @Caleb-ec1qn First I would just like to say thank you for being open with us here, we appreciate it and don't take it for granted. I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of pain I would feel losing one of my sisters especially suddenly. It is understandable and normal to not be able to really speak about painful things you go through, and that is ok. Just know that it will get easier to talk about, and it is possible to get through these feelings and struggles you are having. You are not alone in your loss, although I have not lost the same relationship you have here, I have come to know loss very well. At the time I do not have any grandparents left. I feel as though I have blocked out a lot of these events and emotions, and that is something that is to be worked on, as it is not healthy to keep things inside. In the moment it feels like it will not get easier to talk through these things but I promise you that things get easier over time. For me personally something that has helped is reminding myself that even though they are not on the physical plain with me, their spirit is always with me. I am not all that religious personally, but I myself can find solace in reminding me of this. In some cases I get things to help me remember the person I lost, for instance when I lost my grandmother I was given a teacup to remember her by, when I lost my family dog I got a bracelet engraved with her name. Sometimes these things can be seen as a way to remind you of the person in a hopeful way. Something my mom told me when my grandmother passed away was "it's okay to cry" and I think that is something to remember. When you deal with loss, and feel the feelings associated with it you are not week, it's okay top be affected by loss, it's okay to be sad and cry. There will be a moment in time where you can overcome the negative emotions and replace it with positive, such as remembering the good times when you would spend time together. Sometimes I try to remember the holidays we would spend together, the summers, I remember all the holidays my grandma would go all out for and have games and prizes and food, and invite the whole family over. Sometimes it does make me sad to remember these things and how it can no longer be that way, but I try to remind myself of the happiness I felt in those times, and even though they can no longer happen they can still be something I look fondly upon. Loss is a difficult thing to get through, just know you are not alone. We are here for you no matter what, always here to listen or talk when needed. It's okay to have difficulties speaking about the specifics at the moment, just know with time things will get easier. Take it slow, we are always here for you. Much love, Lys

[@killerkrew]

@heartsupport growing up with slipknot as a major band that i have always listened to its interesting to come back to this song and remember the state of things for the band. your analysis of it is painful reminder because some people who I was very close to in life both as direct family and my brothers in arms have taken their own lives. I have always struggled with my internal and external signs of grief, so of this I feel comes from being the only male of my siblings and also a service member. We want to grieve but must continue our mission at the same time and I feel like sometimes we dont allow needed time for grief. This related with suicides leaves a void of closure. Why?, resonates harsly in the minds of those connected with the lost. Why did they go and why so suddenly?

[@tammiehilken649]

Beautiful song

[@floyd7146]

"Im to busy being calm to disappear. "

[@BruneyJustin]

This whole album was dedicated to Paul, and it's mainly about grief and dealing with it

[@christophercharlesonelifetime]

This song resonates with me, I woke up from attempted murder after being raped years before. . .it was intended to traffic me but they coukdnt so they tried to kill me... I remember the waking up after the shock night before, i knew what had happened and didnt know what to do... With my face, Against the floor... I cant see who knocked me out of the way, I didnt see and i reported it but it was respected due to the fact of. This song is deep with me. I cant often communicate things too well and music helps tremendously!

[@toxickitty16]

Oh shit bro. That’s deep. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope you’re doing better.

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @christophercharlesonelifetime My friend, rest assured that you have communicated things perfectly here, and I'm personally so very, deeply thankful that you've chosen to share your story here. It's always a special privilege and honor to learn to know someone, even partially, through the most rough and vulnerable parts of themselves. I truly commend you for your bravery in opening up and putting word son what you've been through. There's a lot of people out there who are trying to do the same but get overwhelmed by fear - reading your words is an inspiration. It has an impact. Thank you for being here. I can only imagine the pain you've been through, although some parts of your own story deeply resonate with mine. Being raped and brutalized to the point of touching death from your fingertips. Knowing the ghost of sex traffic. Having seen and felt at your very chore the ugliness, darkness and brutality that some human beings are capable of. It goes beyond what the mind and body can process. It must at times absolutely unreal to reflect on what happened and realize it is an actual part of your story - as if there was something blurring it all and making it so distant from you. While at the same time feeling it all too intensely as if it was a part of your own skin. Feeling de-posessed of your body while also feeling overwhelmed by the signals and memories it sends your way at times. It makes sense to have a hard time to communicate things when you have been through such trauma. I hope with all my heart that you are in a good place now and have had/still have support in your life. Know you have a community right here rooting for you. :heart:

[@christophercharlesonelifetime]

@@HeartSupport Thanks. Moving to hear your kind response

[@notsure9853]

🙏🏼 RIP Paul

[@metallica121991]

@HeartSupport i have now watched all of your Slipknot videos. and i have to say i love your incite, it has helped my further understand what Corey is saying and why they have help me since i started listing to them when i was 14. as some who is bi poler and has ptsd and adhd I've struggled my whole life with little to no support. im sorry but this is gong to be a long one lol. with that said i would like so see your perceptive on Shinedown's monsters. because that song has been one of the few things that have keep me going after me and my wife first split last year and us going back and forth getting together half of that year and finely calling it quits shortly after the new year. and the cadlist for the brake up was that she wasn't in love with me anymore and come to find out she was cheating on me with a guy from work . but back to my point about the song. to me its about are monsters that we have inside control us and when we cry out for help from a loved one or your partner and they just laugh in your face and make you feel like you are crazy for feeling this way and that your (monsters) struggles and feelings are not real. and thats how i feel about my relationship went with my wife when it came to my mental health. so at this point i feel lost and dont know were to go from here like i spent 6 years with this person and my self worth i feel has been thrown away #heartsupport

[@dave1986R]

This song takes me back to a pretty dark chapter in my life, right around the time this album came out. I had just gotten out of a pretty toxic relationship at the time. Then a few weeks later I was a groomsman at my best friends wedding which was not easy. But then the very next day another friend of mine called me and told me that my ex girlfriend had started a new relationship with one of the other groomsmen at the wedding, named Alex. This was a dude that I knew since middle school and the only reason he and my ex met was through me, and he was told by EVERYONE to keep his mouth shut till after the wedding. But there’s more, a couple of years earlier Alex did the same thing to another one of my close friends. And just when I was getting ready to forgive Alex for that, he pulled the same stunt with me. And I wrote both Alex and my ex off with absolutely no chance of reconciliation whatsoever, you can’t call them friends. I’m amazed that Alex kept his mouth shut at the wedding, because everyone got really drunk that day. That whole day is a blur to me, 😄😄😄.

[@andreabrown-isley9992]

I only just now pieced together that XIX is 19 as in 19 years between the release of Gray Chapter in 2014 and the founding of the band in 1995

[@rebekahangerer4461]

How weird that u have reminded me of how I just ended a relationship saying how I felt alone. And I did just have to deal w my daughter being murdered and I've not grieved over it yet. Wat a wake up. I need to seek help before I loose it.

[@WatcherOntheWall921]

Hello from the UK! From one reactor to another just want to say I love your channel. Keep up the amazing work! You have such brilliant energy. Got a song suggestion for you LANDMVRKS - Creature. I think you'd love it! I look forward to more of your videos.

[@Jonas-sh2gr]

Eyeless, goodbye and IOWA next pls

[@madcat2713]

💚⚔💚RIDE ON FOREVER PAUL GRAY AND JOEY JORDISON💚⚔💚

[@kaceylinne344]

keep up the amazing work i love how into the music you get. more songs by slipknot would be sic, surfacing, spit it out, people = shit, the heretic anthem, aov, killpop, nero forte, yen. should also checkout stuff from the singer corey taylor's other band stone sour as well as his solo stuff more singing less screaming and growls. from stone sour: bother, through glass, 30/30-150, made of scars, digital (did you tell), say you'll haunt me, gone sovereign/absolute zero, tired, do me a favor, song #3, fabuless. from solo stuff: black eyes blue, cmft must be stopped, from can to cant

[@Gmailtavious-Pibbistan-4]

How did I just realise it was called the grey chapter because paul GREY Jesus Christ I am slow as hell I’ve had the album since release 💀

[@JustanotherJoe-ys2vh]

Really don’t need much of a break down. RIP # 2.

[@jamesmccallister4842]

You should react to some songs by the Amity affliction, their songs have really helped me through some difficult times.

[@DockSudColl]

You should listen to Skeptic, it's a beautiful dedication to Paul Gray too.

[@lonestar3433]

Therapist, you're deep!

[@littlet2jr]

Please walk with me

[@christianmills8240]

You should check out scissors by Slipknot next just the raw pure heavy emotion in that song

[@v-r2162]

Lost the love of my life last summer. One week after her 41st birthday. ❤attack

[@HeartSupport]

From Lisalovesfeathers: @v-r2162 Friend, I am so dreadfully sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how difficult that has been for you, having to come to terms with such a tradgedy. I hope you are getting support from friends, family and any medical or mental health authority that is available to you. We are of course here anytime you would like to open up, or just to vent your feelings etc. Grief is so very hard. I am sending love to you and want you to know that you are not alone. Much Love Lisa. x

[@HeartSupport]

From EvilGenius: @v-r2162 Hi Friend, I’d like to express my condolences for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, I too lost somebody close to me last year, and have been grappling with the feelings of that. Unexpected loss is heartbreaking, and I really do feel for you. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through at the moment. She was so young, and still had the majority of her life ahead of her, so it’s understandable that it was difficult. It’s important to cherish the good memories had, and repent that she loved you dearly. Here is some more information that you might find helpful during this time: [Coping with Grief & Loss - HelpGuide (PDF)](blob:www.helpguide.org/7d470eb7-c931-45ba-9a76-b1031afcc562)

[@HeartSupport]

From NateTriesAgain: @v-r2162 Hey friend, so sorry to hear about your loss. I recorded a video reply to your comment here: www.loom.com/share/4fffd9c44de649f4ba7496e0633decf0

[@bandonlively7879]

This song is an introduction to an amazing album

[@thatduckjenry]

You have to listen to Sarcastrophe next. XIX fades perfectly into it. It is one of their heavier numbers.

[@selfishstockton6123]

That’s a different video thumbnail than originally uploaded

[@Specific0ceanblue]

Id always put this song on before Devip and I

[@Iceman42069]

This wasn't just about Paul and Joey like me Corey was on hardcore drugs this song is about him rehabbing himself it's very poetic

[@PavlozKapeliz]

One has to check out Tool (preferably 46 and 2)....caution, MAJOR rabbithole....

[@ricardosaenz569]

Another amazing band with so many layers on their lyrics and such amazing musical talent. Good call!

[@Dusty204]

Rip to Paul and joey

[@ThisIsJustADrillBit]

This is not for the living. This song is for the dead. 🤘

[@angelcastanonmatias4165]

PLEASE COULD YOU REACT TO FALLING IN REVERSE - POPULAR MONSTER

[@ricardosaenz569]

SECOND ON THAT!! Mental health wise that is another song the resonated with me a lot

[@timhix588]

Alice in chains - down in a hole please!!!!! I just subbed i love ur analysis on these lyrics ive been listening to for years!

[@KaueBitencourt]

When I see it’s a Slipknot video I give it a like right away lol. I want Taylor to react to Say Cheese by Poppy

[@KaueBitencourt]

Also “The Chapeltown Rag” and “People = Shit” by Slipknot

[@KaueBitencourt]

Vermilion (part 1 and 2) also!!! ❤

[@XM_Insan1ty_MX]

The whole album .5 The Grey Chapter was dedicated to Paul Grey, not just this song.

[@Luke-im3ng]

U need to check out skillet one day

[@Drescher1984]

You should watch Corey's NY Ink episode.

[@Djcimofficial]

Slipknot - Skin Ticket or IOWA.

[@htx_screwww3959]

AOV PLEASE 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤❤❤

[@stevenborrowman9282]

The first time I listened to tools fear anacleum I was driving home from my grandma's funeral. My ex had a question am it was just a thanx

[@thelatexglove9916]

Great content! How has the Tool Army not shown up yet?.... Check out The Pot by TOOL 😁

[@owenseal9153]

Taylor, listen to Vermilion. It helps me massively.

[@MetalMan__]

You should react to Ice Nine Kills! i think you will like them. Their creepy and their newer albums are primarily based on horror movies and novels. Check them out if you want!

[@camronv122]

Could you react to the orphan by pale face Swiss. That song and band help me calm my mind a lot. The song has strong lyrics.

[@tanyabaughn3639]

☮️💟✝️

[@lagoon2959]

Do " The Negative One"

[@jimronnysrlie8601]

You should check out Sigrid ft. Bring me the horizon - Bad life. It's very mental healthy :P

[@notoriousnadeem]

Rate ‘Birth of the Cruel’

[@animetv3453]

try to listen five finger death punch - Wrong Side of Heaven

[@alancoburn8684]

Could you please please please please please please please please please do a five finger death punch They even actually have a song called five finger death Punch therapy

[@ernanpena1653]

Please please please do disasterpiece live 2002 or people = sh*t live 2002 or even heretic anthem again live 2002 lol

[@alainlyrette5208]

Next song you should listen to killpop by slipknot

[@jonburton739]

It was my interpretation of your ignorance and truthful definition

[@nicholasminns694]

My mate was shot dead on his honeymoon with a robbery gone wrong. Same year Paul grey died and this album puts me in the corner in the fetal position everytime

[@HeartSupport]

From runner12: @nicholasminns694 Music can trigger so many strong emotions and memories. I’m so sorry that happened to your friend. Losing someone so tragically can hurt so deeply and cause us to question so much. A song or someone’s story can bring us right back there even years after it happened and it’s like going through it all over again. But it can also help us knowing we aren’t alone. I pray you find peace through the healing process and that the treasured memories you have of him shine through!

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @nicholasminns694 I'm so sorry for your loss, friend. I know these words can seem shallow after facing such a brutal loss in your life... although my heart truly goes out to you right now. There's not enough words to convey the reality of such pain and trauma. Knowing your friend was on his honeymoon and had his life taken away is absolutely heartbreaking. No one should ever lose their life so tragically. It's so understandable that this music activates this pain in you and pushes you to feel all of it at the moment. You have lost someone dear to your heart in an unfair, unexpected and brutal way. The pain it leaves is not one to disappear - at best, we learn to compose with it in order to keep on living, but we're not the same person anymore, and life doesn't taste the same either. I hope you allow yourself to give room to this pain and to let it be whenever you feel the need to. To me personally, waves of grief can hit so randomly, but it's always so much more painful to try to contain it within. Letting it flow through tears and times to sit with it sometimes help - not necessarily to find peace or closure, but at least to allow ourselves to be human. Hurt, wounded, scared, vulnerable, but cared for, no matter what. :heart:

[@erikjohnson6534]

Please react to Slipknot Heritic Anthem!

[@noahgagnon-s4k]

I lost my wife last fall... After a decade battle with cancer.. We spent 24 years together. Not sure how to say it, but I have lost my reasons to continue

[@HeartSupport]

I lost my grandfather to throat cancer. Was a professional trumpet player and it brought a end to it. He was my best friend. I feel your loss. I feel your pain. I see the love you have for your wife and it is beautiful. You have so many reasons to keep on moving forward and for one I believe it is to keep her memory going. You take one day at a time. Even through the tears. One day can be one small step forward. Hold Fast my friend. Hope to see you come back. -The Video Editor HEARTSUPPORT

[@HeartSupport]

From AliceBlue: @user-ei3bs3wt1g Experiencing the loss of a partner is truely something that stays with you. Mine was more recent and we may not have been together for quite as long, but I do miss them dearly, so I imagine that 24 years worth of love and memories is a very hard thing to deal with. You’re not just losing someone you love, you’re losing someone you’ve spent time building the future with and all the plans that either have been started or haven’t even been made yet are felt hanging in their absence. The love between you will always be present and real, truely believe that. It evolves through us and the expression of it changes from what we used to practise.

[@HeartSupport]

From DyllonKG: @user-ei3bs3wt1g Hey my friend. Firstly, thank you so much for posting about something so important. I am proud of you for just taking that first step. You mentioned in your post that your wife lost her battle with cancer after over a decade of fighting. And that has left you without much of a reason to want to continue on. Perhaps you feel, not depressed or lonely, but something further. Empty? Lost? I can imagine how devastated I would be if I lost my partner, how listless I would feel - as if I were just a piece of driftwood rocking in the waves, incapable of charting my own courses or destinations. You are absolutely valid in how you feel. I think most of us would say that we would feel the same way. I recently spoke to my partner about a situation like this. "What happens when the other person goes?" We've only been together for a handful of years, so I can't really say that I'm in the same boat as you. But I'll be damned if I don't pick up an oar and try to flail along for a bit. We both have pretty bad anxiety so having a plan in place years in advance helps us to feel like we have some semblance of control. And her response to that question was so succinctly beautiful. I'll paraphrase: "I would be heartbroken to know that you gave up without me. We entered into this as two independent people who are sharing the experience of life together. If I go before you, I want you to live." It brings me to tears to think about now, honestly. So I guess my question is - what would your wife want you to do? What would she ask of you? Are there things in this world you can accomplish or do that would honor the memory of her? I've recently spoken to a friend who lost their wife suddenly. Their exploration of grief and regret has been a journey of ups and downs as they clean out their house and reduce the amount of stuff they have. They've even expressed perhaps moving to be closer to friends and getting a fresh start. Not to forget or move on from their wife. But to continue to live without the weight that now hangs in the air. I know that the path ahead seems uncertain - is uncertain. That sounds like it must be terrifying to the point of paralysis. But I have faith in you. Faith in your love. Faith in your bond. And faith that, in time, you can find your footing when moving forward and figure out how to continue the path that you two started together. I also want to say thank you for your post. It's given me a great point of reflection for myself and my partner. I hope that you're ok my friend. I'm glad that you're alive. And I'm proud of you. You've got this - just hold fast.

[@BruneyJustin]

I think you'd really dig skeptic by them

[@JasonMichael-p7d]

I'll clear this stone of leaves

[@tom_4615]

I sleep on this one too much to be honest…

[@blamedexter]

Could you checkout King ov Deception by Lorna Shore please

[@PoppaBadger]

Paul Gray and Joey J. were 2 amazing musicians.RIP❤ I have to ask if you're ok though. The faces you are making throughout this video, with your head bobbing around, is making me wonder if you're listening to the same thing as I am.lmao😂 This is more of a opinion and counselling video rather than a reaction. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology, so I understand exactly what you're doing and IT'S GOOD!!! Only problem is, most people are looking for reactions in a REACTION video and you aren't really reacting but giving advice. I'd suggest you make another channel, because people need people like you to just be there to answer questions, or give advice that could help someone through very hard times. Although I appreciate the way you're using music to be a tool to deal with, share your sadness and depression. Actually, NO!!! Keep doing this. Music is one of the best therapies there is for many mental, and even physical issues. I understand that you're reacting to the music from a psychological point of view. And, you're kind of showing people which music would benefit in certain circumstances. This obe being, " You don't have to go through it alone. We're here for you" From Slipknot?!? Who would've ever thought? Forget i said anything about 2 channels. I now understand what you're doing and it's actually quite brilliant!!!😀👍🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@deadpiratehead]

My father was just diagnosed with bone cancer. I'm fucking drowning. Please help.

[@HeartSupport]

From EvilGenius: @deadpiratehead Hey Friend, I’m so sorry to hear about your father’s diagnosis of Bone Cancer. I understand that the current situation feels overwhelming and that you are drowning in your own emotions. Discovering that a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, can feel like you’ve been hit by a massive wave of fear, sadness and uncertainty of what the future may hold. It’s understandable if you are unsure of how to cope. Whilst it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, know that you are not alone. What you need right now is a support network, and it’s important to reach out to those around you. There is lots of counselling support available, not just for you but the entire family. That will unleash some of the heavy burden you are carrying at the moment. It’s also important to prioritize self-care during this time. As much as you want to be there for your father and support him, you also need to take care of yourself in order to be able to do so effectively. Make sure to carve out time for activities that bring you comfort and peace, whether it’s going for a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in a hobby that brings you joy. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being will help you better navigate the challenges ahead. In supporting your Father, love him, care for him and encourage him to keep fighting. He needs you in his corrner, but only if you are able to look out for yourself first. It’s also important to respect his autonomy and allow him to express his feelings and make decisions about his care. It might also be worth educating yourself about his condition, so that you can be better involved in his care. Please remember to be kind and patient with yourself. The next few months/years will have good days, bad days, moments of joy and moments of despair. Your emotions are 100% valid, and it’s okay not to be okay. Sending you love, strength and healing thoughts!

[@HeartSupport]

From Lisalovesfeathers: @deadpiratehead Hello Friend, I would like to start by letting you know that I am not going to tell you that I know how you feel because I do not and I am so incredibly sorry that your Dad has had this diagnosis and that now you are all having to cope with this news. It must feel like you are in some other realm of reality right now, I cannot image the fear, horror and upset that is consuming you. Your whole family are going to have to come to terms with this and I hope that you are all able to do this together? I would suggest that you try (and I know this is so hard) to not look up things on the internet (other peoples stories etc) I would suggest waiting for all the relevant information about your dad so that you know exactly what is going on and what exactly you need to concern yourself with and of course how you can support your dad. There is an amazing group here in the UK called Macmillan that help people with cancer and thier families. I do not know where you are from but even if you do not know them I am giving you a link to the site so you can read up on some information. I would also imagine you have a group that do the same thing where you are but called something else. These people are experts in helping both the patient and their loved ones. I would like you to know mostly that however you feel, however odd or crazy you think you might feel, every feeling is normal and valid, this is a time when you are going to feel every single emotion going and that is ok, allow yourself that and be kind to yourself. Please stay intouch with us at Heartsupport if you like, we are always available to talk to. The forum is open to you always. I truly wish you all the very best. Lisa. x www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/supporting-someone/emotional-support-for-family-and-friends/supporting-a-family-member-with-cancer

[@HeartSupport]

From leapyeargirl: @deadpiratehead I am so sorry to hear your father has bone cancer. I know that just after diagnosis there usually is a lot of uncertainty about things like what stage of cancer is it and what treatments are possible. That can cause a lot of fear and make you feel like you are drowning. As @EvilGenius @Lisalovesfeathers already pointed out a support system, whether it be in your own environment or from organisations that specialize in supporting people with cancer and their relatives. Also like evilgenius said it is important not to forget yourself. If you don't take care of yourself it will be very hard to be there for your father. One thing-that probably does not feel fitting right now- is something I have experienced both as a volunteer and with people in my personal life is that people with cancer really appreciate humour. Sometimes it is very dark but I have noticed it often comes out of their own initiative. At first it might feel uncomfortable but usually people adjust quickly and notice that humour can really take the sharp edges of and provide some much needed relief. Please feel free to keep us updated if you feel like it. Thinking of you, kind regards

[@jasonfoley5288]

I understand what you are trying to say here but this songs seems to me like it is through the eyes of Paul Gray and his struggle with depression. I don’t believe it is about the loss from the band. I could be wrong.

[@windows-qj2ri]

holy crap im early

[@morganc.m1830]

Thank you for censoring the n*dity. I was worried it wasn't going to be. That stuff ruined the whole video and is ptsd triggering. I love the song, but not the video. How people can sit and watch that is beyond me. And the fact that nobody else seems to care at all. Just feels horrible and like I'm alone with this.

[@mrmr5565]

In my experience no good comes from talking about it. Best to keep locked in a cellar. Noone cares waste of time

[@HeartSupport]

i find that interesting. Personally I have experienced the opposite. I have met many people who have though been in your same situation. When I tell them you are welcomed to open up with me they do. Its like a weight is lifted. Do not suppress the pain you have. You should heal my friend. Hold Fast. HeartSupport Morgan (Video Editor)

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @mrmr5565 There is absolutely no doubt that you've had your share of painful experiences when it comes to opening up, and I'm truly sorry that this has been the case for you. Too many times sharing how we feel lead to unpleasant - if not completely hurtful - interactions that add even more pain onto the one we're already feeling. It's like having a dagger being planted right into your heart while you have absolutely no way to protect yourself. You're out there, brave with your own vulnerability as you remove layers of protections in order to *connect* with someone... and they don't meet you where you are. Either they stigmatize, judge, ignore or dismiss what you say - but no matter how they express it, it hurts like hell. I have myself experienced quite a good amount of times of trying to reach out especially when I felt desperate, which was each time an exhausting step to take. But to only to be met with ignorance and invalidation hurt so much. I recall this time I opened up to a doctor about my eating disorders, and in our 10 minutes of interaction she showed me how much she didn't understood me and didn't understand any of the shame/fear/disgust I was feeling for myself. I thought after this that I would just never talk about it anymore and never try again to speak out. If it required so much efforts only to feel like being spit on the face... then what was the point? It makes sense to give up on this possibility and to simply stop trying when you've been hurt or disappointed. It makes think to start believing that others just don't care or don't understand you when they don't meet you where you are while it feels like you're burning alive already. Exposing our vulnerable sides come with such heavy outcomes that it *has* to be honored and respected as such. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to listen or use their empathy - that's true. Not everyone will be capable of meeting you where you are when you share what's on your heart - because of their own stories, struggles, boundaries... there's so much at play. Despite all of this, I really wish to encourage you to not lose faith in the fact that it is worth it to keep trying to reach out. Not because of others or because it's a nice thing to say, but because this is about *you*. And you my friend - what you go through, how you feel - deserves to be heard. If there are times you feel alone in your struggles and wished someone could be by your side, even if it was just by listening, then it should happen. You deserve to feel seen no matter which struggle you are fighting. Your life and your voice have too much value to be conditioned by the people who were not equipped to hear you before or didn't show the care you needed at the time. Your voice is so much more worthy than any hurtful thing that others may have said to you - or didn't say, as sometimes silences and ignorance hurt as much. It took me personally a lot of trials and errors, and to start separating others reactions from my needs. which definitely felt discouraging at times. Someone may react in a poor way, someone may not be able to listen, but *my needs* are always valid and being helped during times of struggles is always worth to keep trying. If anything, rest assured that right here at Heartsupport, or on our anonymous forum (forum.heartsupport.com), you wouldn't be met with judgment, rejection or dismissal. On the contrary. There are people out there who care about others and understand how it feels to have a hard time finding our way and the right people in this world. Trust isn't a given - and it shouldn't be. I hope though that you will keep trying and following on this path towards healthy connections if you feel the need for it in the future. It's okay to protect yourself, it's okay to be combative with this idea, it's okay to feel unsafe when we try to extend our boundaries. The right people will stand with you no matter how much you would say, for they *know* that vulnerability has to be honored for its uniqueness and beauty, for it reflects the courage of the person speaking out - and certainly not to be judged, rushed or ignored. Hold Fast, friend. I believe in you. -Micro